Welcome back to the CRS podcast.
Today's episode is one for the books.
Imagine accidentally FaceTiming your boss while on the toilet.
Yep, it happened.
And trust me, the fallout is as awkward and hilarious as you'd expect.
From panic button mashing to office memes,
this story will have you laughing, cringing,
and maybe checking your own FaceTime settings.
Let's jump in.
So, picture this.
It's a lazy Sunday morning.
I'm half awake sitting on the toilet, scrolling through my phone.
You know, the usual routine.
My cat's yelling at me for food,
and I'm just trying to find the will to exist.
Suddenly, my phone slips out of my hand.
And as I'm fumbling to grab it before it hits the floor,
my thumb apparently decides,
hey, let's open FaceTime and call Greg, the boss of all people.
The ringing starts.
I freeze.
Time slows down.
My first thought is, oh no, this can't be real.
My second thought is, why Greg?
I start mashing the red in call button like it's a game of whack-a-mole.
But no, no, my phone has decided that today,
of all days, the button will lag.
And then it happens.
The call connects.
I'm staring at Greg's confused face on my screen.
He's got a bedhead, and I'm pretty sure he's wearing a robe.
But I have no time to judge because the realization hits.
He can see me.
I'm in my pajama shirt, no pants,
sitting on the toilet like a raccoon caught raiding the trash.
I say, hey, he says, in a panic, I scream, wrong button,
and hang up so fast I nearly dropped my phone again.
I thought that was the end of it.
I was ready to live in shame forever.
Maybe start looking for another job.
But oh no, not 10 seconds later, he texts me, you okay?
That seemed urgent.
What am I supposed to say?
I ended up replying, yep, just tech issues.
See you Monday.
And threw my phone across the room.
Monday rolls around, and Greg doesn't say a word about it.
But now, every time we're in a meeting,
I swear he smirks just a little too long when I talk.
So you think that'd be the end of it, right?
Embarrassing moment, we move on, life continues.
Nope, this story has layers.
Fast forward to Monday afternoon.
I'm still dodging Greg smirks during meetings
when I get a ping from the office group chat.
It's Cindy from HR.
Hey, everyone, reminder to check your calendars.
Greg's scheduled one-on-one check-ins this week.
Smiley face, my stomach drops one-on-one check-ins with Greg.
Fantastic.
Because who doesn't want a cozy private chat
with the person who caught you mid-bathroom existential crisis?
My meeting was set for Thursday.
So naturally, I spend three full days spiraling.
Do I bring it up first?
Do I pretend it never happened?
Should I quit and move to another country?
By Thursday, I'm a nervous wreck.
I walk into Greg's office like I'm heading to a court trial.
He's sitting there, all casual, sipping his coffee
like nothing ever happened.
I sit down and we start with the usual small talk.
How's the workload?
How's the team?
Blah, blah, blah.
And then he hits me with it.
So interesting way to start the week.
My face goes bright red like tomato status.
I stammer out.
Yeah, about that.
I was trying to multitask.
Greg just chuckles and says, don't worry.
I've seen worse.
Once someone accidentally shared their vacation photos
to the entire company.
Let's just say they weren't all work appropriate.
We both laugh.
I'm a little too much and I feel a tiny bit of the tension melt.
But then he pulls out his phone for a second.
I think I'm about to die.
Is he about to show me a screenshot?
Did he save the call?
But no, instead he scrolls to his calendar and says, anyway, back to work.
Just don't call me again unless it's an emergency.
Yeah, I nod so hard.
I probably look like a bobblehead.
We wrap up the meeting and as I'm walking out, Greg says, by the way, nice shirt.
I freeze.
Was he joking?
Did he really notice the random faded band T I was wearing on the toilet?
I turned back to respond, but Greg is already looking at his computer grinning to himself.
So yeah, I survived but barely.
Now I live with the constant paranoia that Greg will randomly remind me of this moment
at the worst possible time.
Like during a presentation or an office party.
Lesson learned, I now keep my phone in a death grip and triple check where my thumb is before
touching the screen.
You'd think that after the meeting, it'd finally be over, right?
No, turns out this incident was just a gift that kept on giving.
The next week, I'm sitting at my desk, trying to be as invisible as possible when Greg pops
his head out of his office and says, loud enough for the entire floor to hear, hey,
can you stop by real quick?
It's urgent.
Cue the wave of own nose rolling through my brain.
Everyone's heads turn to look at me because apparently this is middle school and Greg's
urgent tone made it sound like I was in trouble.
I awkwardly stand up and shuffle over to his office, fully expecting another round of toilet
related jokes.
I walk in, close the door behind me, and he's sitting there with a completely straight face.
For half a second, I think maybe this is actually serious?
And then he slides a mug across the desk toward me.
It's one of those novelty mugs and in big bold letters it says number one multitasker.
I just stare at it, my mouth hanging open while he's trying not to laugh.
Saw it in a shop this weekend, he says grinning.
Thought of you immediately.
Now, I'm torn between laughing, crying, or just quitting on the spot.
But before I can even respond, Greg leans back in his chair and says, consider it a reminder,
no facetimes and weird.
Places, great, fantastic.
My boss bought me a mug to commemorate my most embarrassing moment.
Love that for me.
It's a way to get worse.
A few days later, someone from another department swings by my desk.
She's holding a mug of coffee, sees my new mug and goes, oh my god, I love that.
Where do you get it?
Before I can deflect, Greg walks by and chimes in.
It's a long story.
Let's just say they're really dedicated to the job.
Now this random coworker thinks I'm some kind of ultra efficient workaholic.
Which spoiler alert?
I'm not.
And because Greg clearly has no chill, I catch him later that day telling the story
to a couple of people from his little management circle.
I mean, he cleaned it up a bit, no graphic details, but still.
So now, every time I walk into a meeting, someone makes a random comment like, watch
out for surprise calls or don't work too hard in there.
It's like I've become a walking meme in the office.
At this point, I've accepted my fate.
I even started using the mug in the mornings just to own it.
If I'm going to be the butt of a joke, I might as well lean into it, right?
The only silver lining?
A coworker in IT admitted they accidentally called Greg from a hot tub once.
So at least I'm not alone and that Greg is seen too much club.
Moral of the story?
If you're going to embarrass yourself at work, make it memorable enough that they buy you
merch for it.
So yeah, I guess I'm really part of the team now.