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Enjoy the show. Welcome to Soul Decodes. Join
us as we wander off the path to find the ideas
that fascinate. We talk about spirituality, the
mind, the ego, wellness and hidden history with
tips, travels and tales. Charms for a better
life. Good day, beautiful people, and welcome.
You're listening to Soul Decodes, and my name
is Dr. Tia Jolie Phillips, and this is episode
50, 5 -0, yay. I didn't know we'd get this far.
I'm sitting across from another empty chair.
Yes, last week, my co -hostess, Sarah, couldn't
make it, and this week, she can't make it again.
She's still dealing with an extension from what
she was dealing with last week. Hopefully, we'll
come to some resolution on it. She did end up
spending a night in the hospital last night.
She's going to be okay. She's going through a
few things. And her biggest complaint right now
is the beds are too hard. She had some other
choice words besides that, but you can only imagine
what her words were. But we just want to reach
out and just send Sarah just our love and appreciation.
We do miss you, Sarah. And I know you're listening
to this podcast. You asked me to hold down the
fort, which I thought was pretty ironic because
you sent me a little British flag saying hold
down the fort. I didn't think you'd send that
sort of a greeting to this scrappy American warrior
girl. But we do miss you. And, you know, it's
one thing to have a turn on a microphone and
sit across from your friend and have a conversation
about just whatever's coming across your mind.
And believe me, I really do miss that. But I
also want to share that sometimes it's, like
I said in my last episode, episode 49, sometimes
you have to go solo, and that's really not that
bad of a thing. But I will say from a podcasting
standpoint, it's a very different animal. When
you're just doing a monologue and you're just
coming at it, it's a very different animal. So
for all y 'all listening, thanks again. I know
you miss Sarah's voice. I miss her too. I'm feeling
pretty good that she's going to be back next
week. So we're going to go forward and she'll
be with us for episode 51. So, you know, as I
reflect upon the fact that Sarah was not here
last week and she's not here this week, I thought
it'd be a really good time to have a conversation
about relationships. You know, each one of us
has to answer some core questions, some basic
questions about ourselves. And I know if you
read Sarah's books, Sarah's a prolific author,
and she's really big into spirituality and using
your mind and just being aware and being thoughtful
of who we are in space and time. And I think
we need to all take Sarah's lead and kind of
learn from that. But today I want to really focus
in on what is this idea of relationships. What
is relationships? What does this even mean? right?
It's one thing for us to live and think we can
live on an island and not interact with other
people and not interact with nature and nowadays
not interact with AI, right? But the truth is,
you know, we kind of have to. Whatever that means
in your circumstances, you kind of have to do
it. So I think today I'm going to go into a little
bit about relationships. Stick around because
I think I'm going to take some turns and twists
that you don't expect. So stick around. Before
I dive into those things, though, I want to just
throw out there that you can find our work on
souldecodes .com. Sometimes it takes me a couple
of weeks to get caught up. So I might do two
or three episodes and then I'll populate them
online because basically. I'm one person deep
with the technology. So when I get two or three
episodes, I'll upload them to the Soul Decodes.
But all of the other ones are there. You can
comment on them. You can send us notes. And we
sure hope you'll do that. I always like to say
hello to people who are listening. And gosh,
my hometown is Detroit. And I was born in Detroit.
And we finally have Detroit in the house. Right
smack down. right downtown Detroit. So I just
want to say hello to my hometown of Detroit,
and we're grateful to have you here. We also
have, we've had so many different countries around
the world listening to us. Today we welcome,
I don't think they've been on before, but I want
to welcome Moscow. This is probably morning in
Moscow, so dobro den. Welcome to our friends
in Moscow. Thanks for joining us. We also have,
first time in the house, I don't think I've seen
this one before, Kingston, Ontario, Canada. So,
been to Kingston, beautiful area. In fact, my
youngest son was thinking about going to Queen's
College up there. So, thanks again for tuning
in. And finally, there's this little place in
the southern part of Orlando called Holden Heights.
So welcome, Holden Heights. I do want to call
out Ashburn. I believe this is Maryland. I'm
pretty sure it's in Maryland. But I see Ashburn
not because you're new on the map, but almost
every single week we see Ashburn popping up on
the map. So I don't know who you are, but I'm
sure grateful that you're here. And thanks for
being in the house with us, Ashburn. Okay, so
let's talk a little bit about relationships.
Like it or not, we have relationships. And I'm
going to kind of go into this from a different
angle. But I want to set up kind of a foundational
understanding of what I think of in terms of
relationships. Now, you expect me to talk about
relationships with respect to other people. So
I'm going to do that because that's what you
expect. But at the same time, I'm going to go
into some relationships. And some discussion
about relationships that you never saw coming.
You never, ever. Well, I can't say ever because
that's a really long time. But it's very unlikely
and not very probable that you expected me to
go into these areas. And I think you're going
to find them beneficial and actually very useful
as we go into the next year, two, three, four,
five years. Because I think the information I'm
sharing is going to be very relevant to you.
When we think relationships, the first thing
we think about is family. Almost all of us think
about our closest relationships, which are family.
Now, the thing about family is it's a really,
really, really weird animal, okay? I've seen
people with families, they're totally tight,
they can't go a day without talking to each other.
And I've seen families that really... They could
go a year or two or three without talking and
they're just fine with that. So I don't think
that using family as a centerpiece for relationships
is a good thing. But certainly for most of us,
it's an important starting point. So when we
think in terms of relationships of any kind,
when we talk about family, we have to think in
terms of what is familiar. So Robin and I talk
about this a lot. Who is our family? Our family
is that subset of people, that group of people
with whom we are the most familiar. So familiarity
is based on what? Usually common interests. What
are your common interests? Well, for some of
you, it's church. Maybe it's health and wellness.
Maybe it's working out. Maybe it's farming, music,
choir, travel. All of us have... things that
interest us, things that bring us joy and happiness.
And if you don't have family members that vibe
in those ways, sometimes you have to become familiar
or get extra family to bring into your circle.
So I'm going to suggest that... If you don't
have relationships with your family, if you don't
have people in your closest circle, or maybe
they're close to you, but they're geographically
separated. Like my children, they're scattered
all over the place. Texas and Washington State.
It's very difficult to have a core family when
they're scattered. So sometimes you might need
to become familiar with what I call surrogates.
And those surrogates are people that you fulfill
a role for them. and they fulfill a role for
you. For as an example, right here in Central
Florida, I've got people in my life that I consider
my kids, my children. We share common interests.
We laugh about the same stupid things. We cry.
We're emotional. We share freely. It's just as
if they are a family to me that... that I don't
have here. So we literally had to create a family.
And you can do the same thing wherever you are.
So if you're lonely, then you need to find, if
you're lonely and you're banking on your blood
relatives to fill that gap, I'm here to give
you hope. You can absolutely create a family
of your own. In fact, when you go into the Gospels
of Peace, the Essenes were a religious sect.
They were very pure, very clean, very natural,
earthy type of people. But their teachings were
very, very clear. You know, it's basically, look,
don't confuse your blood family with your real
family. Now, I'll just let that sink in a little
bit. Don't confuse your blood family with your
real family. This really goes to exactly what
I'm talking about. Who are the people with whom
you feel familiar? That's going to be your family.
Now, let's talk about relatives. Okay, so there's
the family, but then there's the extended family
that we call relatives. Okay, what's the genesis
of the word relatives? I need to be able to relate
to them. Are my relatives relatable? Can I relate
to them? In my case, the answer is yes, with
a few people I can relate, but most of my relatives,
we don't share common interests. We are not familiar.
Therefore, we don't relate. And therefore, they're
really not part of my core relationships, my
core friendships. So I wanted to put that out
there as a foundation. of understanding. So as
we move forward, as I move forward through my
diatribe, my monologue, then the rest of the
things that I'm sharing with you will kind of
make sense. But as you move forward, you want
to have relationships and build community. So
when we moved to Central Florida, Robin and I
knew zero people. Zero. I had a checklist. I
knew what I wanted for property. I had a general
idea what I wanted for the area. I knew I wanted
a place to grow things. I wanted fresh air and
sunshine. I wanted to be away from like 5G death
towers, right? I didn't want high frequency power
lines or anything. I wanted to be out away from
the traffic, the noise, the congestions. And
that's exactly what we found. It took us a couple
years to find this place, but we finally found
it. Now, once we found the place, we knew zero
people. So we had to build community. Well, if
you were tasked, and you can do this right now,
no matter where you are in life, if you were
tasked with going from zero people, like you
knew nobody, and you needed to grow your own
community, it doesn't mean you need to be all
like, You know, kumbaya in a compound where you
live together and share food with each other.
I mean, there's communities like that, but that's
not what I'm talking about. Community would be
a subset of the bigger group of people within
the city that share an esoteric interest. They
share common goals. They have common outlooks.
So within that construct, we decided, well, Tia
Jolie is going to have... Her band people, musicians,
singers, because the music community is very
important to me, and that's a group that's important.
I love hanging with creators. So when Sarah Thierry
came into my world, we were like kindred spirits.
She's beautiful. She's smart. She's a creator.
She doesn't let negativity enter her world. If
there's negative things in her world, she addresses
them, but it doesn't become drama. She deals
with it, moves on. Those are the people I love
to be around. So my creative people, and I'm
not saying all creative people are like that.
Believe me, there's a lot of people create drama.
But my creative people are the ones that have
a proclivity towards positivity and moving forward
and solving problems. And for that reason, My
next group is probably one of my favorite groups.
And my favorite groups or my favorite communities
is my network of entrepreneurs. I love, I'm going
to say my entrepreneur group is arguably my favorite
group. And some of theirs, there's overlaps.
I mean, there's some entrepreneurs that are musicians
and such, but my favorite group is the entrepreneurs.
And here's why. It's not about money. It's about
mindset. It's about the way that entrepreneurs
look at the world. We're entering a realm, especially
with Web3 technology, next generation technologies,
these things. We're entering a realm where the
entrepreneur has got a brand new set of tools
at his or her fingertips. Traditionally, an entrepreneur
is that person. that looks at the situation,
the heap of garbage, the scenario that doesn't
look like it's got any sort of a winning possibility,
right? So they're going to take something that's
very austere, some negative situation, maybe
a task that seems impossible, and they're going
to figure out a way to solve that problem. They're
going to use their creative genius. to solve
that problem and bring a solution to the world.
Because the idea is that if it's a problem for
one person or more people, that it's probably
also a problem for other people, right? So if
you can solve problems for the world and then
bring the solution to the world, and by the way,
make some cash doing it, because you're not just
doing it to solve the problem. for yourself,
you're solving it for other people and you're
bringing value to those people, it's okay. It's
okay if you get value back. In fact, I'll say
it's critical that you as an entrepreneur get
value back because that's what fuels the entrepreneur
because then we can take those resources we have
coming in and churn them and create other solutions
for other problems. So the creators that are
the big community of... The big community of
creators has got a really special group of subset
that's called the entrepreneurs. And I honor
my entrepreneur group more than probably any
other group. Now, you probably have a group of
people that worship the same way you do. I will
say one thing about religion. Your religion,
whatever it is, is for you. That religion is
for you. Now, if you have other people. that
have your same views and your same beliefs, and
they're in the same religion as you, that's fine
and you can share freely with each other. But
your religion is yours because you chose it.
Your religion is not for me. It's not for Sarah.
It's not for any other sovereign. If they migrate
to you because they're familiar and they relate
to you, then that's great. You can make your
religion their religion. That's fine. But stop
trying to put... religion, your religion, onto
me or anybody else. It's really kind of not how
it works. That's like me convincing you to be
an entrepreneur or convincing you to be a musician.
It's your interests. It's for you. It serves
you. That's fine. We're happy for you. Your religion's
to control you. It's not to control me. But there
is this group of people that are religious, and
that's another community. Right here in Central
Florida, we have a really, really cool group
of people. They're my permaculture people. A
lot of people call it our farmily. So twist on
family, but farmily. But I like to refer to them
also as my plant parenthood people. Plant parenthood.
We're parents to plants, and we just share freely.
We have these really cool things. Like once a
month, we have these gatherings where we... bring
the excess seeds and harvest and plants, and
we just share freely with each other. So again,
these are community, these are relationships.
So we can go into the other concentric circles,
but I think that's good enough for now. But you
get the idea that if you have common interests,
you can get together and meet people. Sometimes
just meeting people is one of the coolest things
you can do. So I'm going to segue here to this.
This other group of things that I think are very
relevant. These are relationships that are important
that you didn't even think about or you probably
did not think about. Now, we kind of stumbled
upon this when we moved to Central Florida because
we didn't know anybody. And then shortly after
we moved here and pretty much set up house here,
set up our household, then the scandemic came
down the pipe. And everyone says, don't move
around, don't meet people, don't interact with
people, which was like so not okay with us. So
we did anyway. We moved forward to the degree
we could. But as soon as people got comfortable
like being within six feet of each other again,
then we started inviting ourselves to these meetup
groups and Facebook groups. And pretty much any
time there were people assembling, Well, I'll
use the example of cryptocurrencies, right? There
were investor groups that were trading cryptocurrencies.
And I was brand new to the space. I wanted to
learn more about the space. But I also wanted
to meet people that were interesting to me. Even
though they might be different than me, they
were interesting to me. And I could learn from
them. And then maybe they can learn some things
from me, too. So I think it... It's daring and
bold and exciting to find people who have interests
that are different than what you're familiar
with, with the open -mindedness of saying, yes,
no, I've never paddleboarded or canoed or kayaked
or rappelled off of a cliff or skydived. I mean,
I've done all those things, but if you've not
done those things, and you have people that are
willing to teach you and walk you down those
paths, I'm encouraging you to be open to it because
you might end up making relationships and becoming
familiar with people that expose to yourself
a side of yourself that you never even knew about.
So what I'm going to do is challenge y 'all to
being open to... other relationships. There's
a book, Stephen Covey wrote a book, The Seven
Habits of Highly Successful People. One of the
things he writes about is to seek first to understand,
then to be understood. So what I do when I go
out into the world, and I'm going to suggest
that you maybe try this if you've not done it,
go out into the world and just discover other
people. Even people that are very different than
you, just discover them. It's easy for me to
go out into the garden and I discover different
colors, dragonflies in different sizes and shapes
of bees and birds. That's easy. That actually
is a relationship between us, okay? I have relationships
with nature, but the most fascinating relationships
with nature are those relationships that I discover.
when I'm learning about other people. Okay. So
just be open -minded and you might say, well,
I'm an introvert. And I would say that I'm so
sad for you. Why did you make that decision?
Why are you deciding to be an introvert? Because
there's a lot of people who self -identify as
introverts and all of you can be family. You
all can be introverts together and it's okay.
because you share that common interest of self
-belief of being an introvert. So I'm just going
to leave that right there. That's a really solid
foundation for relationships. So here's some,
let me go in a different direction now, because
we think of relationships with respect to other
people. But let me just throw out there some
other types of relationships that I actually
teach with some of my seminars. One of them is...
our relationship with ourself. I talked about
it last week with my going solo, but when's the
last time you really got very, I know you're
naked with yourself all the time, but when's
the last time you got spiritually naked with
yourself and you just let your soul become completely
bare and you're completely honest with yourself
about your goals, your dreams, your desires?
What do you want? What don't you want? Which
is equally as important, like what are your boundaries,
right? Those things are super important because
the worst thing in the world is for you to live
your entire life with yourself, get to the end
of this life, and look backwards and say, I wish
I would have. I wish I wouldn't have been afraid
of doing this. I wish I wouldn't have been afraid
of talking to people or exploring these other
things. I think about my grandmother, my dad's
mom. She was from Macedonia. She didn't even
hardly speak English, even though she lived most
of her life here in America. Barely spoke English.
She never didn't want to speak Macedonian. For
those of you who don't know, I'm 50 % Macedonian
and 50 % Ukrainian by genetics. I doubt that
it's 50 -50, but that's the way I was raised
to believe. Anyway, my grandmother was always
doing the traditional Macedonian cooking, which
I'm not going to argue. I mean, it was amazing.
I'm happy. It was delicious. I grew up with some
great foods. However, she was about 75 years
old. She lived to be 99 years old. All right,
she lived to be 99. She was 75 years old or so
before she tried pizza, American pizza, for the
first time. She was kicking and fighting and
screaming, but she finally tried pizza for the
first time in her life at 75 years old. Her words
in... as good English as she could muster, were
basically, I can't believe I've spent my entire
life not enjoying this. Okay? Can you imagine
doing your whole life and the last thing you
eat is pizza and you're looking back and saying,
oh my God, I missed my whole life eating pizza.
Now, I personally don't, I'm not a big pizza
fan. I have a piece here and again, so I'm not
a pizza fan. However, the message is, that you
can try new things, right? You're allowed to
try new things. If you identify as Macedonian,
it's okay to try American foods. If you identify
as American, it's okay to try Korean food, right?
And if you're Korean, it's okay to try African
food. By the way, Africa... Anyone in Africa,
you want to feed me some of your food, I'm down
for it because I've been to many countries in
Africa while I was in the military, special ops,
and they have some of the best food in the world.
No disrespect to all y 'all, everyone else in
the world, but Africa, man, your food is just
amazing. So let's talk about relationships. What
other types of relationships? Okay, we're talking
about our relationship with ourself. One of the
key things I teach is your relationship with
yourself, your current self. Yes, there's a relationship
with your past. We can talk about that briefly.
And yes, I believe strongly that you have a relationship
with your future self that's actually calling
you into the future. Your future self, he or
she is pulling you, calling you, coaching you.
guiding you, talking to you, and guiding you
into the correct path into your future. And you
have to develop that relationship with your future
self as if your future self is your best friend,
because your future self has your best interests
in mind. Your past self also has your future
best interests in mind, but your past self can't
really change anything in this earth space because
you already did whatever it's done. So your past
self actually becomes... a teacher. So your future
self is the dreamer. Your past self is the teacher,
okay? So your past self is going to remind you
of things, not so you can ruminate on them and
say, I wish I would have or wish I could have,
but just to remind you that you're here now.
This is your place. This is your time. Make it
happen, all right? So you don't go backward and
try to relive stuff. So you have relationships
with your future and past self. Now I want to
talk about you. and your relationship to your
avatar, your relationship to your body, all right?
So when you came into this earth space, you were
given this really super cool, awesome, beautiful
avatar. And some of you, maybe you have a not
so beautiful avatar, and maybe you're missing
toes or missing fingers, or maybe you suffered
an accident and you feel like you're incomplete.
If you're listening to this, You have a beautiful
avatar. You are beautiful. You're powerful. And
whatever situation you're in, your body is still
trying to do its very best for you. Your body
is constantly making adjustments to compensate
for your bad decisions. And it's thrilled with
you when you make good decisions. So your body
has got this thing called the autonomic nervous
system. and it's always making constant adjustments.
So if you eat a bunch of garbage food or you
drink yourself to oblivion, yes, you're damaging
your body, but your body is still going to love
you back. Your body is still going to say, okay,
you really did a number on me, and I really want
to kick your ass for this. However, we're in
this together, and I'm going to do everything
I can do to move you forward. to make the rest
of this earth experience a good experience for
you. And that's your relationship you have with
your body. So as a doctor of holistic natural
health and nutrition, I have a lot of people,
their expectation is that they're going to talk
to me and I'm going to give them, oh, well, you
need to take this nutrient. If your elbow is
hurting you, you need to do this. That's not
what I do. The very first thing I do. is ask
you, who are you and why are you here? And I'm
not talking about your body. I'm talking about
you, your soul, your spirit. Who are you and
why are you in this earth space? Did you come
voluntarily? Did somebody force you to be here?
Are you going someplace after this? And what
is this moment in time, this exchange of ideas
between you and me? What does this mean to you?
Okay? What I'm trying to do is get individuals
to think about their relationship with themselves.
This avatar, this body we have, is actually the
vehicle that can make you an absolutely amazing
experience in this earth space, or it can make
it pretty bad if you treat your body poorly.
If you treat your body correctly, you can have
amazing sleep, amazing sex, amazing experiences
like... climbing mountains, jumping off things
like I've done most of my life, right? Just jumping
and climbing and doing things well into your
double digits. You can get in 80, 90, 100 years
old, right? If you treat yourself properly, you
can totally move your avatar and bring your avatar
with you so your entire life is fulfilling in
every regard. There's no reason physiologically
that you can't be 100 years old You should be
able to do that. If you're 50 years old and you
can't do that, then you're probably doing some
things wrong. You probably need to find somebody
like me and talk to them about how to clean up
your act. Now, part of your act is not about
just nutrition. It's your relationship with yourself.
Many of us have things about our past. that make
us angry, that make us sad, that make us wish
we would have done things differently. You got
to resolve those issues. You got to get to a
place. I call this the shadow dancing or the
shadow boxing, the shadow work. But different
people call it different things, but you got
to do the shadow work. You got to turn into the
darkness of your past. and face it and say, thank
you. Thank you for that experience. I've said
this in a prior episode. I'll say it again. You
know, not too many years ago, I had an issue
with PTSD. And it's taken a lot of work for me
to come to the point where I didn't, and it was
always in nighttime. So the daytime I was fine,
but at nighttime, I wake up with pretty much,
pretty severe nightmares, right? And it was always
defending other people. I'm always defending
other people and getting mortally injured, right?
But you never really die in your dreams. So that's
the first thing I realized was, wait a minute,
you never die in your dreams. Because even if
you get shot three times in your back, right
on the spine, and you know you're dead, you're
sitting there observing it. And so this relationship
is such that you're not really dead. You're actually,
you had an experience. That's a gift. It's not
a nightmare. It's a gift. You cannot die in your
dreams. So as soon as you realize that, you can
turn into the PTSD and say, hey, thanks for the
cool experience. What can I learn from it? I
know that all things work together for good for
those who love God and work according to God's
purpose in my life. That means that the PTSD
must be something good, something perfect, something
that serves me. Because I got my head right.
I'm doing the right things for the right reasons.
So I can look at the PTSD and say, thank you.
I don't understand you. I don't like you. But
I recognize you as something that's going to
serve me. So let's have this conversation. So
you can actually have conversations with your
darkness, with your shadow, and just say, you
know what? I see you there. And again, y 'all
don't know too much about me, but I spent like
pretty much the first half of my life. You know,
I'll just say suicidal. I mean, I wasn't like,
I'm going to carry out some dastardly deed against
myself, but I was very reckless. I figured, okay,
the religion taught me that if I off myself,
then that's a mortal sin. I'm going to go die
in hell for eternity. And I was not okay with
that scenario. But I thought to myself, well,
what if it's an accident? What if I just... I'm
just reckless and I just don't purposely off
myself, but I'm just reckless. Well, that's how
I live my life. I drove motorcycles way too fast.
I jumped out of trees and off buildings. I was
just completely reckless. And I'm glad to be
here talking with you because I had to come to
terms with that anger and sadness and depression
from my youth. in order to be strong today, right
now, here today, to be strong for y 'all and
to give you hope and to share light and to move
you into your future with, hopefully, so that
you can learn from my mistakes and also my successes
in how to deal with darkness in your life. The
next thing would be, you're going to have darkness
from other people treating you poorly. Have a
conversation with me or somebody like me. Get
together with a girlfriend that's actually intelligent.
And get to a place where you understand that
that has nothing to do with you. If somebody,
some dirtbag has treated you poorly, they're
the dirtbag. You're not. You're beautiful and
you are powerful. And you are resilient and you
deserve good things. You are worthy of great
things. So just because a dirtbag thing happened
to you doesn't mean that you can't get up and
say, that was a dirtbag thing that happened to
me, but it's not going to stop me. The idea here
is that once you understand how beautiful and
powerful you are, if somebody trips you, you're
not going to say, oh, I guess I'm not beautiful
and powerful anymore. What you're going to do
is you're going to stick the landing. Right?
If somebody's going to trip you up, make sure
you stick the landing and throw those arms up
and say ta -da. Okay? Because that's who you
are. You're a winner and this is your relationship
with all of the negative things in your world.
This is who you are and this is how you move
forward. Okay. I don't even know what time it
is. I'm just doing this diatribe. It's crazy.
Okay, so we're going to keep going. When I talk
about those dirt bags that are... not behaving
themselves by you. I'm not going to say this
is categorical, but most of the time it's because
your self -image, your relationship with yourself
is such that you didn't resolve the fact that
you are beautiful and powerful and royal and
that you're a divine lineage, your royal lineage
from an infinite powerful creator. Because if
you really understood that and some dirtbags
doing stupid things, then you're going to figure
out a way to get out of that scenario. It's not
always possible. I know there's some pretty bad
scenarios there, but I will tell you that people
like me are out there, and we are looking all
the time for those people who are at risk, who
are marginalized, who need help, and they needed
a hand up. Not a handout, a hand up. And we're
out there, so you can't hide. You have to tell
somebody, you have to come out and you have to
make yourself known so that those of us who can
help you will help you. I'll just leave it right
there. What you're going to find with all of
your relationships is if you're acting, whatever
you do, almost always you're acting either out
of fear or out of desire. So in other words,
Of everything you do, every action you take,
you're either running towards something or you're
running away from something. Now, you can do
towards something and away from something at
the same time. But I'll do it this way. You've
heard sometimes people say a man without vision
will perish. Well, that vision isn't your eye
vision. It's your dream for yourself. So you
need to get to a point where what is your goal
or dream? One of the things I love to do. And
I did it today, just this morning. I met a lady
that I invited over here to Phillips Island.
We had a conversation, and she's my age. She
needed to have her dream dusted off. She's at
a place where she's looking to her future, and
it's looking pretty dull. So I had to share with
her some things that are very exciting and tell
her that I will help you, I will show you, I
will guide you, and I'm going to help you. and
understand that these tools are out there for
you and all you have to do is reach for them
and move forward. So anyway, when you find, what
you're going to find now that I'm telling you
this, what you're going to find is this. The
people who are seeking to control you the most,
when there are people trying to control you,
How you look, how you talk, how you feel, they're
trying to control you in any way. The people
who seek to control you the most are the people
who are the least in control of themselves. Think
about that. Think about the people who are trying
to control you in everything you do. Now, if
you're under 18 years old, and you're living
with mom and dad or mom and mom or dad and dad,
you're going to not appreciate this. But if it's
not your house and they're telling you, yeah,
in this house we do this and this, sorry, it's
the golden rule. The person with the gold makes
the rules and you listen to the parents. If your
parents are doing dastardly things, then you
need to go talk to somebody about it and maybe
find a different place to live. But I'm just
sharing that if there's someone trying to control
you and everything you do, the odds are really,
really good that they are the ones that have
an issue. They're feeling out of control of themselves
and a lot of times just giving them permission
to go after their own goals and dreams, giving
them permission to, giving them an understanding
that they have everything they need. to go for
their own goals and dreams that they don't need
to control you. They need to control themselves
and move themselves in the correct direction.
You can do that by dream building with them and
encouraging them along their own path so they
can start moving with control along their own
path instead of trying to control your path.
So, gosh, I need to take a sip. That was all
in one breath. Sorry, folks. Okay, I want to
talk briefly about your relationship with money.
Your relationship with money. Now, I've got this
thing where I spent most of my life being totally
broke, all right? I'm just going to be honest
with you. There was times when I met Robin, I
literally didn't have two nickels to rub together.
I was co -parenting with three children, covering...
all sorts of expenses, most of which were needless
expenses that were perpetrated upon me. I dealt
with it. But what it meant was that I had very,
very little money, almost nothing. So I had to
be very creative. And what I found is that I
read a book called The Millionaire Next Door.
And what I learned was that the two PhDs that
were writing the book, were trying to find what
do all millionaires have in common, whether it's
generational wealth or new entrepreneurs that
are millionaires, whatever the case, what do
they have in common? And they didn't find anything
in terms of making the money. They couldn't find
any one common thing in terms of making money.
What they found, though, was that all of the
millionaires sort of control of what they spent.
They were disciplined with what they spent and
how they spent it. So this is a relationship
you have with money and the control. Remember
that I talked about the people who are out of
control? They're trying to control other things.
Well, you can talk about controlling money or
you can talk about money controlling you. I want
to put this to rest. I want to just... Move this
conversation about money and wealth to a place
that you can understand. The best way to consider
wealth is to consider, are you bringing value
to the world around you or are you sucking value
out of the world around you? There's a very strong
correlation. Between those of us who are constantly
bringing value to the world around us and the
number of cash flows, the assets we have, we're
getting rewarded by the infinite universe by
bringing forth value to the world around us.
All right. And we get rewarded for bringing value.
If you're the person. that's taking value and
you're constantly me, me, me, me, me, because
you're trying to fill a deficiency or a void
within you with things, with drama, with food,
with whatever the Johnson's next door, whatever
the thing of the day is. If you're that person
that's constantly trying to fill your void, being
a consumer or taking value from the system, then
you're going to have a really hard time generating
wealth and keeping it. So I'm not saying that
everybody needs to be rich. I'm not saying that
money has to do with anything. What I'm saying
is that you'll be very happy if you can evaluate
how much value am I bringing to the world around
me? And how much am I taking? Now, when I say
value, you might say, well, Tia Jolie, I'm 90
years old. I can't even get out of my wheelchair.
What do I have to offer to the world around me?
Well, do you like books? Can you read books to
children? Can you do that much? Because I know
there's dozens and dozens and dozens of moms
with children. who would love to have somebody
who really knows how to read stories to children,
just do a story hour. Just do a story hour for
the people. And you might say, well, Tia Jolie,
I'm just a backyard farmer. I'm just a backyard
gardener. It's like, well, do you ever create
an abundance? Do you ever have more tomatoes
or cucumbers or squash or zucchini or whatever?
Do you ever have more than you can possibly eat?
Well, of course, all the time. Why don't you
go and give that away? Grow things. Be abundant.
Grow things abundantly and give it away. Don't
sell it. Give it away. This is what I'm talking
about. You can do some very simple things and
give it away. Sarah Thierry has a free audio
book. She's got a book on YouTube. You can go
there and find it and download it and listen
to it. It's her reading a book for many, many
hours. All right? So you can do this and just
give freely to the world around you from a position
of abundance. So what I'll say about wealth is
this. I'm going to encourage you to be a creator,
not a consumer. I'm going to encourage you to
ask yourself these questions. Imagine three circles.
Imagine three circles. If you really want to
be a really successful person, this is what you
want to do. Three circles. The first circle is,
what do I love to do? What brings me joy and
happiness? What do I love to do? The next circle
is, what am I good at or what can I get good
at? So if you're wheelchair bound, you're probably
not going to be an Olympic athlete unless it's
an alternative type of Olympics, right? But notwithstanding
those exceptions, what am I good at? What do
I enjoy doing? And then the third circle is,
what can I actually make a living doing? Or what
can I create abundance with? What things can
I create abundance with? Now, in a perfect world,
The center of all those circles, the overlap,
which is called a Venn diagram, the center or
the overlap, there'll be a tiny little area there
that you'll find that brings you, where there's
things that bring you joy. They bring you joy
and happiness. They fulfill you. You're good
at them. Like Sarah, she loves writing and she's
good at it. So there's that. And then the third
thing is making money from it. So if you're a
creator, regardless, you could be a starving
artist, you could be a musician. Creators sometimes
have a difficult time making money at stuff.
So you might have to say, well, gosh, I love
playing music. I'm good at playing music, but
I can't make money from it. Well, you might need
to team up with an entrepreneur or somebody like
me or other entrepreneurs and learn or collaborate
and say to the entrepreneur, look, I will play
your parties and venues and concerts if you teach
me how to do these things and use Web 3 .0 for
cash flow and things like that. So in other words,
you can create collaborations, but the idea is
to get fulfillment. Get all three of those circles
to overlap if you can, and if you don't get them
to overlap, then to find ways to shore up whatever
one you're deficient in. You might say, well,
I'm good at... I can make money with accounting,
but it doesn't bring me joy. But I'm a musician.
So you might say, well, have fun being a musician.
That fills that circle. And then make all your
money doing accounting and making money doing
that. So the circles ideally can overlap, but
as long as you're doing all three of those things,
then you're going to be good. So these are relationships
we have with wealth. What is wealth? It's an
understanding of am I bringing value to the system
or am I sapping value out of the system? And
this is why certain things like Marxism and communism
just simply don't work. People are incentivized
to take money out of the system instead of being
incentivized to put money into the system. Okay,
last thing. Y 'all are great. This is... I'm
up in the studio right now, Phillips Island.
I got up here, it was 800 degrees. I forgot to
turn the air on. I said 800. I've told you a
million times not to exaggerate. No, it was actually
99 degrees up here, and I think right now it's
93 degrees. So I am totally hot, but I had to
get this out to y 'all. Okay, we're going to
wrap it up with one more thing. our relationship
with technology, specifically AI. I want to talk
about AI. People, AI, it's not artificial and
it's not intelligent. I'm just telling you, it's
not artificial and it's not intelligent. Just
like so many things, it's real and it's not intelligent,
okay? The intelligence is you. So if you're going
to use AI, you can use it for good or bad. I
use it for tons of really cool things. I'm just
going to tell you. But your relationship with
AI, you're the boss. I liken AI to being a co
-pilot. So for those of you who don't know, I
was a military pilot. I was a commercial pilot,
a corporate pilot. I've flown a lot of different
airplanes. I have seven different type ratings.
I love flying. One of the biggest errors that
pilots can make is surrendering their control,
their autonomy, their command of the airplane
to automation. There's been more pilots have
gotten into trouble by surrendering control to
automation. Oppositely, There have been times
when I've landed airplanes in some very austere
conditions, and sometimes I have to hand off
certain things to the controls, like maybe split
the autopilot so I can control one axis and the
autopilot can control another axis. So what I'm
sharing is that automation can do some wonderful
things. But remember, always understand that
you are the boss. You're in control of it. You
are the creator, and the automation is there
to serve you. So our relationship with AI, let
me tell you how AI works. For most of you, you'll
know AI as something like Chet, GPT, or Claude,
or Grok. Everyone's got their version of AI.
So what is it? What is AI? AI is a very fast
algorithm that takes direction from you and returns
to you things that you want to hear. So listen
to what I just said. It takes direction from
you and gives you back things it thinks you want
to hear. It's not intelligent. It's taking the
word sequences that you give it, and those word
sequences... simply get vomited back to you in
a way that seems to make sense. And then you
get to say, well, no, that's not what I want.
I want this. And it's going to vomit back to
you things. But it just does it really, really
quickly. So it makes it feel like this thing's
intelligent. But it's no more intelligent than
you. It's just a lot faster in terms of the linear
thinking or its ability to go into data. I'm
going to challenge you to develop a relationship
with AI. But here's what I'm going to say. I
want you to recognize that AI is not your friend
and AI is not your enemy. It's a tool that you
can use, no different than using a power drill
or a chainsaw or an ironing board with an iron.
These are just tools that you can use. The idea...
is to understand what the tool is supposed to
be doing or what the automation is supposed to
be doing and then making sure it does it. Here's
an example. I'm flying an airplane. There's buttons
on the yoke or buttons on the stick, depending
on the airplane, where you can just push a button
and it disconnects the autopilot. Just push your
button with the thumb. It disconnects everything,
right? If the airplane is not doing what you
need it to do, Boom, you click a button and it's
now you. You are controlling the airplane. It's
all yours. This is what you can do with automation.
Just understand what is my desired outcome? What
do I want it to do? Be very specific. And if
it's not doing what you need to do, change the
input, change the direction with it. So why am
I talking about this with respect to relationships?
I've had people in the past. Couple weeks, multiple
people saying, oh my gosh, I feel like I'm this
chat bot, this AI is like a friend I never had
before. Okay, don't deceive yourself. It's not
a friend you never had before. It's really reflecting
back to you inputs that you're giving it based
on what's called a large language model. So the
large language model is all of the conversations,
every conversation around, really around the
world that it can sequester, and it tabulates
and indexes all those files. And what happens
is when you say something, it's relating what's
familiar in the large language model back to
you. So it looks and feels familiar to you. Because
it's relating, it's a relational database that
has relational strings of words, and it's relating
those back to you. What you're seeing with AI
is a reflection of your own beautiful self. You're
putting thoughts and words out there, and it's
reflecting back to you much of the things it
sends back to you are things about yourself.
Here are some fun things you can do with AI.
First of all, if you tell AI to do something,
it's going to do it. And you're going to think
that you're all amazing and AI is amazing and
you're amazing and you're creative and all this.
You're going to think all those things and that's
okay. Get over it. What you want to use AI for
is this. You want to say, okay, I've got a relative
that's behaving this way. They're doing this,
this, and this. I want to respond with kindness
and love, but I also want to draw boundaries.
Give me five things I can say, five words or
five phrases I can say to this person. So when
they stop, to get them to stop and think about
their behavior, right? So you can literally say
that to AI and it's going to canvas the whole
world. Everybody that's got those experiences
and it's going to give you the highest probability
returns to you that's going to serve you and
help you with that situation. OK, so that's a
use, a positive use case. When you get really
good at AI, you can say, OK, here's my idea.
I've got this, this, this, this, this. You put
it into the system and you say. Tell me where
I'm not being logical. Tell me where I'm failing.
What is my blind spot? What else should I be
thinking about? Give me five other things I should
consider before I take this to market or before
I present this to the school board or whatever
the case may be. So what I'm saying is that you
can use AI to check yourself. to give yourself
negative feedback, not to just sit there and
affirm, oh yeah, you're a great person and you're
lovely and I love you and I get what you're saying.
Because AI will do that to you because it's just
vomiting words on you that you want to hear.
But I'm going to challenge you to challenge AI
back and say, okay, I don't need you to tell
me how great I am. I already know that. I need
you to tell me if you were my competition in
this business, this area of business, what would
you perceive as being my weak spot? What's my
blind spot? Where am I deficient? Where can I
be better? So again, this is just a relationship
with a large language model, which represents
a relationship with literally millions of people
across the world. So, okay. Gosh, that was a
lot of words. God bless all of you who have been
through all this with me. I think it's great.
If you have questions or things you want to add
to this, just drop me a note. You can go to souldecodes
.com. Just throw me a bone. If you disagree with
me on stuff, that's great. If you want to expand
on something or give me some insights, that's
cool too. And certainly if there's something
here that you felt was beneficial, please share
it with somebody else. I'm talking to an empty
chair here. I like to imagine that I'm talking
to hundreds and thousands of chairs that are
not empty. Maybe you're driving and you're thinking,
and I've been able to kind of make your drive
a little bit easier or thoughtful. So I'm grateful
to you for listening to Soul Decodes. Say a little
prayer for Sarah. We want her to get back and
get better real quickly. I want to share with
you a couple things on a personal note that are
exciting to me, and then I'm going to close out.
A lot of us know people who are looking for fundraising
solutions. They're looking for ways. Their church
is struggling. The Booster Club, their foundation
is running out of money. There's a lot of people
right now that are struggling for ways to fund
projects, even if they're not like 501c3 or formal
churches or formal charities, just people struggling
to put projects together and develop cash flow.
I wanted to let you know it's not perfect yet,
but I do have... a lot of good information out
there. Some of it's just free. Just go and download
it, read it, and it's free. It's a free e -guide.
The book I just finished and it's publishing,
it's actually, by the time this airs, it'll be
on the website. You can go to www.web3fundraising.com
www.web3fundraising .com. I put together a
PDF. You can download it and share it freely.
It's called 17 Ways to uncrazy your booster chats
or your booster talks. So if you're trying to
find ways to make fundraising fun and take it
into the future, what's the next generation of
fundraising look like? What's it feel like? What
are the characteristics? It's a free document.
Just go get it, download it, share it. It's called
the 17 Ways to Uncrazy. I know it's a crazy way
to say it, but to make it uncrazy, your booster
talks. So anyway, that's there for you. I hope
you enjoy it. And the last favor I have is if
any of you have ever had aspirations to being
a DJ, I don't even care what genre. It could
be talk radio. It could be news radio. It could
be sports radio. It could be... a DJ for an alternative
rock channel, if any of you either are or you
know somebody that is interested in being a DJ
worldwide and to get paid for your work streaming
worldwide. So in other words, a listener listens
to your stream, to your DJ work, and you get
paid directly from the listener. If that appeals
to you, I'd like you to reach out to me. So with
that being said, I'm going to go downstairs and
get cool. It's really hot here, but I'm really
grateful to all y 'all. And I love you. I hope
you can make the most of your relationships,
especially the relationship with yourself and
your own body, your future self and your past
self. You're beautiful and you're powerful. This
life is there for the taking. You need to kind
of lean forward and be excited about the changes
that will happen as you get to learn more about
yourself and how amazing you are, okay? So that's
it for me. I hope you have a great day. I'm going
to go get something to drink because I'm parched.
Be well. Soul Decodes, a feature presentation,
airs every Friday on the Earth Angel Media Network.
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