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Enjoy the show. Welcome to Soul Decodes. Join
us as we wander off the path to find the ideas
that fascinate. We talk about spirituality, the
mind, the ego, wellness, and hidden history with
tips, travels, and tales. Charms for a better
life. Hi there, everybody. My name is Dr. Tia
Jolie Phillips, and you're listening to Soul
Decodes. I'm looking at an empty chair today.
My beautiful co -hostess had some issues and
I'm going to be making a solo of it today, but
it's going to be a great show no less. But I
first want to call out to Sarah. She had a major,
major past 24 hours. She's going to be fine,
but she ate at a restaurant yesterday and the
restaurant, whatever she ate, didn't agree with
her and it keeps not agreeing with her and she's
been down and out. Really in a bad spot for pretty
much almost 24 hours now. Hugs and kisses to
my girlfriend and my co -hostess, Sarah. We want
you to be better. And you'll hear from her next
week. You know, it kind of gives me inspiration.
I'm going to be talking with you really the same
as we always do. But Sarah's here in spirit.
I'm going to be talking off the cuff on just
a few things. And it might not be as long as
the usual shows, but I think I'm going to try
to make it the best I can to give you some value
because you're tuning in. And we just love having
you listen to us. wanted to make sure. In fact,
about early afternoon, Sarah texted me and she
says, I think I'm going to make it. And then
about a minute later, she says, I'm not going
to make it. I just threw up again. So there's
that. I just want to let you know that Sarah,
in her heart, she's here. She said, The show
must go on. So I said, well, I'm going to go
solo then because we do really want to put something
out there every week for y 'all because you are
special to us and Sarah sends her love. So there's
that. So, you know, as I thought about the situation
today, I want to just share with you my day today
because I had eight things on my schedule. When
I woke up this morning, there was eight things
and only one of them happened. on schedule. I
had a 30 -minute Zoom call, and that was the
only thing out of eight things that went on schedule.
Everything else either changed or it changed
character or it didn't happen at all, got rescheduled.
It was absolutely chaos today. That's not to
say it's bad, because one of the things I wanted
to share, and probably this could be a central
part of my monologue today, is that sometimes
things don't go the way you want them to. And
we have to have that conversation, you know,
what does that mean? And so we're going to go
into that a little bit. But for now, the two
things that come to my mind would be, number
one is, what does it mean to go solo? Hey, Jim.
Jim, you're on the air because I'm recording
in the studio and I forgot to mute my phone,
but I'm solo, so it doesn't even matter. So I'm
just going to... I'm just going to... And here's
Jim with the traffic report. So here's my friend
Jim. Jim, you're on the air with Soul Decodes.
What do you have to say to our people? Well,
thanks for not making it a solo show. I appreciate
you. I know. We're back on the air, Soul Decodes.
But that would be a really, maybe I'll keep this
thing in here, man. I need to get your permission
to do that. No, that's all right. Hey, thanks
for the call, Jim. All right, take care, bye.
Okay, y 'all, there was my friend Jim. And now
you know what my ringtone sounds like. So anyway,
so we're back. Let's get back on topic here.
What does it mean to go solo? What does it mean
in our lives when our life gets disrupted? Now,
clearly, this is minor stuff. Your co -host gets
sick. Things don't go as planned. But I think
there's a bigger discussion we can have here
today. And that's related to things that happen
in life, right? We all have these ideas of how
we want our life to go. We have these ideas of
pretty much... what our dreams and goals are.
But then over the years, you know, sometimes
things change and sometimes they don't go the
way we should. And there's both on the macro
and the micro. So on the macro, you know, those
are things like, gosh, I really wanted to join
the military, but my feet were flat or my eyes
were crossed or something. You know, you have
these ideas and there's some things are just
out of your control. Other things are. in your
control. And I think that that's primarily what
I wanted to express is, you know, what things
are within your control, what things are not
in your control. The other thing is sometimes
even those things that are not in your control,
you can sometimes interpret those as being negative,
like, oh my God, the world's working against
me or whatever. But at the same time, I can assure
you after my... more than six decades through
this earth space this time around, I can tell
you that when I look back at my life, most of
the times when things didn't go my way, there
was almost always the best thing that could have
happened. So sometimes the things we think are...
what we want or what we need. And we're so disappointed
when things like that don't happen. Almost immediately,
if you keep your chin up and you keep your eyes
open, almost always you're going to see something
coming your way. I'm going to go ahead and just
tell you a quick story. And this is, again, I'm
shooting from the hip, y 'all. So when I went
to... I'm from the Detroit area. If you've been
listening for a while, you probably knew that.
But when I was a kid, my family, we did okay.
We didn't have too much money, but they did okay.
I honestly don't know how my mom and dad made
it through, but they did it, five kids. And later
on, I found out there was a sixth sibling or
a fifth sibling, a sixth kid. But I was growing
up and my whole... I knew just a couple things
from when I was really young. Number one was
that I was very different than all the other
kids in the way I looked at things, the way I
thought, just who I am. The second thing was
that I knew I needed to fly airplanes, but I
was also realistic enough to know that if I'm
going to fly airplanes, I'm going to have to
do it myself or figure out a way to pay for it
because it was very expensive and my family didn't
have that money. Right off the bat, in 1975,
I turned 12 years old and I was able to have
my own paper route. So I got my own paper route.
And the very first money that I got in, I bought
a magazine called Flying Magazine. It was just
a little, it was my first ever magazine with
my own subscription. It came to me at my house.
It was super exciting. And I just started diving
in. I knew all these different airplanes. And
I used to make airplane models and Air Force
models. And flying was my thing is what I'm getting
at. Well, come along to middle school, I was
playing. I was a trumpeter in a jazz band in
my middle school jazz band. And the bass player
was right behind me and playing the upright bass.
And we got to talk in between sets before or
after practice. He had said that his brother
went to the Naval Academy. And I asked him, I
said, what's a Naval Academy? He says, you know,
like the people that are going to the Navy and
they're going to be officers in the Navy. And
then, you know, maybe drive boats around and
stuff. I'm like, wait a minute, does the Air
Force have one of those? Because you remember,
this is before the internet, before cell phones.
I mean, basically we had... Just junk on TV.
Like, we didn't know anything about anything.
So he says, yeah, you know, there's an Air Force
Academy. And I said, well, how do I find out
about it? He says, well, just go to the school
counselor. They should have a catalog. So I go
to the school counselor. There's no catalog there.
And so I told the counselor, it's like, how do
I find out about this Air Force Academy? And
long and short of it, I had to find a catalog.
Every step of the way was work. Every step of
the way, there was an obstacle or something that
had to be accomplished. So I had to wait like
three weeks. They finally got a catalog from
the Air Force. And I read through. They had multiple
catalogs. And I got one of them. And I read through
it cover to cover. I knew exactly what I wanted
to do. And basically from seventh grade forward,
I knew I was going to go into the Air Force.
I knew I was going to fly airplanes. I just didn't
know how I was going to do it. So this is called
going solo because nobody was helping me. It
was all up to me if I was going to go and do
this. Well, along the way, you know, there's
a lot of people who said to me, you know, basically
good luck with that because only one out of 20
,000 people in the Air Force fly airplanes or
what, you know, there's always, they're throwing
these numbers at me like only, oh, I'm sorry.
one out of 400 people in the Air Force fly airplanes,
and only one out of 20 ,000 go to the Air Force
Academy and all this stuff. And the people who
were saying those things, it wasn't that they
were bad people. They were actually being very
truthful. But it would have been very easy to
get discouraged because those odds, those numbers
are very, very, you know, for a young kid, it's
like, oh, I might as well not even try, right?
But thankfully, that's not the way I was. So
long and short of it is that I ended up going
to the Air Force. I remember the day I got my
appointment to the Air Force Academy. I literally,
I just, I can't even, I can't even describe the
joy I had because there was only two people out
of 400, I think, in the state of Michigan that
received appointments. This is back in 1980,
but from the senator. So without going all through
the process, I'm just sharing with you that the
process was very, very difficult. And the whole
thing is, you know, the world sometimes, if you
have a goal or a dream for yourself, the world
sometimes will challenge you. Maybe there's resources
that are blocking you. Maybe there's resources
that are not going to be there for you. Now,
stick with me because there's a punchline. There's
a punchline here. I did get the appointment,
okay? But my personal goal for myself, because
this is early in the, I hadn't graduated yet.
I wanted to graduate top in my class. It turns
out I did not need to graduate top in my class
because I got the appointment. But it still remained
a goal that I wanted to be top in my class. Well,
to do that, I needed to get an A in physics.
And the physics teacher, was also the coach,
the baseball coach. It was different coaches
for different things in the school. And for some
reason, this guy didn't like me. And I took it
really personally because I actually, I was the
best physics student like in the high school.
And I'm not bragging. I'm just saying I was good
at physics. I even, I'm not proud to say this
now, but I'm just going to tell you honestly.
I even helped the physics teacher's son cheat
on the tests. I mean, I literally helped his
son cheat. So his son would pass his own tests.
So, I mean, I'm not proud about that, but I'm
just telling you that I did everything and anything
I could do to get all A's. And this guy. gave
zero A's. He gave me an A minus. Now, that might
sound like a big deal, like, oh, what the heck,
it's still an A. But when you're going for the
top of the top of the top, and you end up getting
an A minus, and the valedictorian ends up being
that person that gets the number one position,
that's a really, really difficult thing to take.
I didn't know what to think of it. I was like,
dang, what could I have done better? I took it
really personally. But then, you know, I went
and I flew airplanes and I went to the Air Force
Academy. And it was kind of a distance, a distant
thing in the past. So years go by, years go by.
And I ended up getting married, having kids,
getting a divorce, you know, getting remarried.
literally, you know, like 20 years later, it
seems, I forget the numbers, but basically 20
years later, I was shopping in a place called
Livonia Mall. For those of you in Southeast Michigan,
you know Livonia and Livonia Mall was the place
to be. And I was just shopping with my new spouse
and we went in to look for some blue jeans. And
I looked at this kid and I said, man, he looks
familiar. Well, this was the coach's other son,
he was the older brother. And I said, oh, you're
Tommy. Hey, good to see you. And we got caught
up. And it turned out that he was the travel
coach, the assistant travel coach. And I was
on the travel team. So we knew each other. And
we got caught up and stuff. And he asked me about
me. And I told him, yeah, I was an Air Force
pilot. And I went to the Air Force Academy. And
Tommy says to me, well, you know, I was supposed
to go to the Air Force Academy. I said, you were?
What do you mean? Why didn't you go? And he says,
I didn't pass my medical. And right then it dawned
upon me, all of those years that I took it personally,
that this physics teacher... didn't give me an
A when I deserved it. I actually stayed home
from a trip to Toronto while my entire family
went there so I could do an extra credit project
just to get that A, and I didn't get it. So there's
a message here. I took that so personally, but
there was absolutely nothing I could do about
it. The cards were stacked against me. There
was nothing I could do about it, and I ended
up... still going to the academy, still flying
airplanes, still having a great career. But it
dawned upon me that for all of those years, I
was thinking there was something wrong with me,
that this guy had an ax to grind with me. And
what I'm sharing with you is that it really had
nothing to do with me. He was angry. I represented
something that his son should have had. His son
should have been an Air Force officer. He should
have flown airplanes. He should have gone to
the academy. And he had this physics teacher
had an ax to grind, and I was the target. So
I share that with you because as you go out into
the world, there's going to be, you have to give
people space. Like, I'm not going to give this
guy a bye for being a dirtbag to me. I mean,
it's not okay. It was displaced. misplaced aggression
towards me. But I'm just here to tell you that
when you go solo, when you're in West Texas and
you're in a two -engine supersonic airplane and
you're out there flying solo, it's okay. It's
okay. Those things... pass by and you don't think
about what did or did not happen in high school.
It really doesn't matter. You stay in the moment
and you enjoy what's going on. So a few hours
ago, I was thinking, man, what am I going to
say? What am I going to talk about when I'm going
solo? I'm here to tell you that it's okay to
go solo. It's okay. In fact, there's a lot of
really cool marriages and really any relationship.
that I've run into. And what happens is the couple,
they're happily married. And it doesn't matter
if it's, you know, husband, wife, guy, guy, girl,
girl. It doesn't even matter if they're married.
They can just be a partnership. But the best
couples I've run into in my years are the ones
that are together because they want to be together.
They're okay being alone. They're fine being
alone. In some cases, even in my marriage, you
just need some quiet time. You need to learn
to be alone and have that special spot with your
own thoughts, your own feelings. So I guess what
I'm saying is that sometimes it's okay to go
solo. I'm going to further go on and say, if
you really, really, really want to learn about
yourself, you must go solo. You must. When I
first soloed in the T -38, which is, take a look
at it. I might even put a picture of it on, you
know what, I'm just going to put a picture of
it up on this podcast. I didn't know what I was
going to talk about. So I'm going to put a picture
of the T -38. This, when you're going solo in
an Air Force airplane for the first time, it's
scary. I'm not going to lie. I mean, anything
can happen. And we're taught really well all
the emergency procedures, all the operations
limits, how the airplane performs, where are
the treacherous places where the airplane performs.
We're taught all of those things. And we know
that inside and out. And you can wake us up in
the sleep and say, what's the bull face item
for, you know, fire in the cockpit, right? Or
engine fire or whatever it is. You know those
things bulletproof. right? You know it and you
know that you know it, but even so you don't
really, really know it until you solo, till you
go out there and you just do it yourself. So
I'm not expecting that most of you are going
to go fly airplanes. And I really hope you do,
because I think everybody needs to fly. But I
will say that, you know, there's going to be
times in your life where things don't go the
way that you think they should. There's going
to be times where people jack you over and it's
not even your fault. and you're going to take
it personally, there's going to be times where
you have to go solo and you have to carry the
ball by yourself. And there's going to be times
where you have relationships that, you know,
you just got to give the other person some space
and permit them to go solo. Give them the time
and space. I learned in college, I went to the
Air Force Academy, and when I was in college,
I used to go to a thing called the... The Officers
Christian Fellowship. And some really cool people
I hung out with there. And even to this day,
I think they're some of the most wonderful people.
I wasn't too much into the scripture stuff. I
thought it was interesting, but I was very interested
in the friendships. And we talked a lot of times
about relationships. I think that one of the
best things I got from that experience was these
discussions. Or were these discussions about
these relationships? Because I was not yet engaged.
I was not yet married. I was just kind of dating
seriously. But what I learned is that there's
this dance. It's called a relationship dance.
And I think all of us have experienced it. Where
what happens is you, let's just say you have
a desire to be close to this person. But this
person has not yet warmed up to you. Or it could
go the other way around. Maybe this person has
a desire to be close to you and you're just not
in a place or a space where you want them to
be close to you. And you've probably been on
both sides of this. And there's this, think about
concentric circles surrounding you. Think about
who you would have in your innermost circle,
right? That would be like probably your spouse,
your boyfriend, girlfriend. The people in your
closest circle, well, they can actually touch
you and be intimate with you. But then the next
circle out would be the close friends where you
don't mind, you know, slapping each other on
the back and, you know, grabbing each other's
shoulders or, you know, giving each other noogies
or whatever. For the Gen Xers, look up noogie,
you'll figure it out what it is. But basically,
you know, when you feel comfortable touching
or, you know, slapping or punching in a playful
way, other people. But then there's concentric
circles going outward. So if you just met somebody
for the first time at, say, the Rotary Club or
the school function, you're not going to go up
and hug them and punch them. So there's this
degree of feeling comfortable letting people
closer and closer and closer to you. The thing
is, what we all have to do is be aware of when
is it appropriate to... let those people come
in. And as you develop those friendships, you
also have to be aware how close, what are the
terms, what are the conditions, what are the
boundaries? But then even when they're in those
circles, you have to have this awareness that
sometimes they need to be alone and sometimes
you need to be alone. So even with the closest
of the closest friendships, sometimes people
need to be alone. So that's kind of where I'm
getting at with this. Number one, is let's be
flexible. Let's understand that life's going
to give you some things. People in my circle,
they know I call it a shit sandwich, right? So,
you know, two things. When life offers you a
shit sandwich, you don't have to eat it, all
right? You don't have to eat it. So let it go.
Let it pass you by. If you do decide you're going
to eat this shit sandwich, just make it full
of condiments. Get your favorite condiments.
But ultimately... Um, what you want to do is
just, um, when it comes to relationships, give,
give people that space, give them the honor and
give them, um, the, the chance to be alone probably
above all else, uh, with relationships. I want
to just share one more thing on, on this and
then I'll move on to something else. Uh, these
relationships out of all the relationships you
have, I really want you to get, um, really up
close and personal with the relationship you
have with yourself, okay? I cannot overemphasize
the need to spend some quiet time with yourself.
Go solo with yourself. Even if you love all of
the other people in your life and you want to
have them in your inner circle, I think it's
necessary that you go solo sometimes. Hang out
by yourself. Sit on a park bench. Go in your
backyard. Sit in a hot tub by yourself. Get yourself
a hobby. I even go and play my bass guitar. Just
go play stuff. Doesn't even have to be with another
band. Just go hit some strings. Just be quiet.
Be thoughtful. Be reflective. I think that if
you each do that, I would love to hear your feedback.
If you're not that person that can do that, and
you've never done that, just being... peaceful
and quiet, even sitting in a dark room and doing
nothing. I would love to get your feedback if
you're able and willing to do that. So, okay.
I just word vomited a whole bunch of stuff on
you. I hope this is beneficial to some people.
So, I want to talk about a couple of things going
on in the world around us, and then it'll dovetail
a little bit with what I just shared, but I also
want to... let people know that things are not
always as they should be, and they're certainly
not as they always appear, as they appear. And
I'm only going to say that because everything's
a relationship. We have relationships with ourselves,
with our best friends, with our close friends.
Truthfully, I mean, we even have relationships
with people who hate us. right? People who despise
us, we still have a relationship with them. So
it's really important that we get to a point
in our lives where we understand that everything's
a relationship. I will say this, you even have
relationships with your past self and your future
self. So these relationships, you have to kind
of get your head around, what do they mean? What
does my relationship with my future self mean?
Is the future Tia Jolie pulling me to her? What
is she trying to tell me? What is my relationship
with my future self? Those are important things.
I wanted to let you know that there's a lot of
squirrely things going on in the world around
us, and some of them can be outright scary. I've
had a lot of people come up to me and say, Tia
Jolie, what do you think about this thing that's
happening? And my answer is almost always the
same. It's like, well, what do you think is happening
around you? What is it that you're perceiving?
And they'll say, well, the TV said this and the
news said this and the people say this and the
Internet says this. And my answer is always,
well, what do you think is going on? What do
you perceive? Right. So what I wanted to share
with you just I'm going to probably wrap this
up here is, you know, I would try to. I would
encourage you to adopt or start studying philosophy,
start thinking about all of the different other
ways that people think of things, and then pick
and choose which ones of those things apply to
you, which ones of those things make sense to
you. And even if it's, don't put a judgment on
it, there's no right or wrong answer, but just
think. Like I personally, I... I resonate a lot
with stories I hear of the emperor Marcus Aurelius.
If you've not studied stoicism, Marcus Aurelius,
his life, it resonates with me. Interestingly,
one of the reasons it resonates with me is because
his philosophy was to do the right things for
the right reason just because they're the right
things to do. But that left him in a very, very
lonely place. He was the richest, most powerful
person in the world at the time. The Roman Empire,
the whole Roman Empire knelt down to him. But
if you're at the top of that apex of the world,
who do you go to? It was a very lonely place.
And I think for that reason, that resonates with
me. Because even in his loneliness, he still
did the right things for the right reasons. I
want to share one more story. I asked Sarah.
to consider listening to the Gospel of Mary and
just kind of reviewing the Gospel of Mary Magdalene.
And I hope you all will do that too. But in her
scenario, that was also a very lonely place.
When you really look at the Gospel of Mary, at
least the pieces, the scraps and shards of the
Gospel of Mary that we can gather, because many
parts of it were destroyed. But I think... There's
six chapters or so, five or six chapters that
we get enough so we can get the flavor of it.
But what a very lonely place to be. She was given
truths about our existence, about our reality,
about the world around us that the other apostles
were not given privy to. So when the other apostles
asked her, Well, what did Jesus share with you?
What was this story? What's all this secret information?
And she shared it with them. They denied her.
They actually ostracized her and marginalized
her. So here's another scenario where she actually
had to go alone, like proceed alone. Even when
your closest, best friends, people you call brother,
right? She literally called those people brother.
really pretty much discarded her and cast her
off as a, well, no, there's no way that that
would be the case. You must be mistaken, you
know. That's a very lonely place to be. So just
understand, sometimes the people closest to you,
even though you have the correct, the right information
directly from the source, it's bulletproof. Even
though you have that information and you know
you're right and you're saying the right things
and you're doing it for the right reasons, you
can still be pretty darn lonely. So, you know,
I'm going to say one more thing. I didn't know
where I was going to go with this. I know it's
kind of a diatribe at this point, but I want
to share one thing. You know, I did not retire
from the military. I stayed in a little over
12 years. I want to tell you one more thing,
and this is about leadership and it's about telling
the truth. One of the things I loved the most
about the Air Force Academy was that it had what
was called the Honor Code. And the Honor Code
was really simple. It said, I won't lie, cheat,
or steal, nor will I tolerate somebody who does,
right? So in other words, I'm going to just live
an honorable life, and I'm not going to let people
around me lie, cheat, or steal. When I was a
senior at the Air Force Academy, I was in an
elective course. It was a management class. And
it was finals. I think this was the end of my
seventh semester, so it would have been wintertime
in Colorado. And I was taking an exam. And, you
know, it was about finance. I like finance. I
was blitzing through it pretty easily. It was
the time value of money. figuring out how much
an annuity would be and all this stuff. It was
a really fun class. I really enjoyed it. But
you're just doing a test. You break. You stretch.
You look at the clock. You just roll your shoulders
back, and you just stretch, right? Well, I looked
across the room, and there was another cadet
that was literally cheating, like looking. obviously
very overtly, non -discriminately at the paper
next to him. And I was like, oh my goodness.
I didn't, I looked down at my paper. I'm like,
oh my goodness. I didn't just see that, did I?
It was excruciating because now I'm like, I'm
in a tough spot because I saw something, I saw
somebody cheating. My honor code says I'm not
allowed to tolerate that. That means I must take
action. It's not optional. They don't give you
a choice because if I saw him cheating and later
on somebody finds out that I saw him cheating
and I didn't say anything, I'm the one that can
get kicked out. So on the way out the door after
the test, I pulled this guy aside and I said,
hey, I just need some explanation for what I
think I saw, but I just wanted to share with
you. It looked like to me, it seemed like. I
saw you cheating on this exam and you were looking
at this other guy's paper and maybe I saw the
wrong thing. Maybe there's an explanation. I
gave this guy all of the outs, right? I gave
him, just tell me something, tell me anything
that will permit me to, for this cup to pass,
right? Just tell me some reason that I can let
you off the hook, right? And there was no explanation.
In fact, he got up in my face. in a very belligerent
way and said, I don't know what I'm talking about
and basically F off. Okay. So this was, this
was a problem because now I'm in a position where
it's like, I tried to do the right thing. So
I went, we, in the squadron, I go back to the
cadet squadron and there's this individual that's
called the squadron. Cadet Honor Code. I think
it's called the Honor Officer or something. Forgive
me, it's been like 40 years. But there's this
honor representative that's the person that is
the specialist for the Honor Code and how we
interpret it and how to do the right things and
everything. And the honor person said to me,
well, we need to file a report. So I'm like,
oh man, it's like the last thing you want to
do during finals is do some stupid report. I
hate reports anyway. So I fill out this report.
Almost immediately, I was pulled into the commanding
officer. I was interviewed to explain the report,
what I saw. Almost immediately after that, I
was shuffled off to the group commander's office,
talked to the group commander about what I saw,
talked to the group. They interviewed me. They
got a hold of the manager department. They talked
to the honor. This thing blew up in about a matter
of like three or four hours. It totally blew
up. Well, I was upset because I really liked
this guy. I just liked the guy. He was a good
guy. I had him in some other classes. And long
and short of it is I was pulled by a full bird
colonel. A full bird means that he's the sixth
level of officer in the Air Force. And I'm not
even the first level of officer, so I was scared
out of my boots. But I was invited to this private
room. This Fulberg colonel explained to me that
I did the right thing. And I mean, I'm not going
to lie to y 'all. I was crying. I was really,
really, really upset. And this colonel said,
you did the right thing. He said, we pulled the
papers from him and the person next to him. And
the papers were identical in every way, including.
The calculations in the margin next to it, like
every single thing, it was a perfect match. They
talked to him. Long and short, he got dismissed
from the Air Force with one semester to go. It
took me a long time to get over that, but repeatedly
people told me I did the right thing. It doesn't
always feel like it's the right thing because
you're feeling like you're betraying somebody,
but the fact is they betrayed themselves. And
so this is a very difficult thing. I'm sharing
this with you because it's tough to do leadership.
It's tough to do the right thing. It's tough
to do what's right just because it's the right
thing to do. And I'll wrap it up, wrap up this
solo thing with one more thing. I intended to
stay in the Air Force. I flew honorably. I flew.
I supported the 89th Air Force. We flew the president's
limousine, Secret Service people. I've been to
50 countries. I had my bags, plus I had a bag
for Arctic, a bag for desert. Pretty much I was
one of three crews could fly worldwide. We didn't
have the Internet, so we just turn on the news
and see what's happening in the world, and that's
probably where we're going. I loved my career.
I wanted my career. I wanted to stay with my
career. But you can't stay on the flight deck,
so sometimes you have to take a not -flying job.
You have to take what they call a desk job. So
I took a desk job up in Detroit because that's
where my family was, and it was a promotions
job. I won't go into the details, but there was
about two -thirds through that tour, I had a
colonel. a fifth -level lieutenant colonel, basically
a fifth -level officer, and I was a captain at
the time, come into my office. I was in charge
of advertising and promotions. I had a budget.
It wasn't a huge budget, maybe a million. I don't
even think it was a million dollars. It was just
a long time ago. But basically, I had a budget
for promotions for the squadron, and I was in
charge of that budget. And the commander came
in and asked me to... modify some squadron notes
from a squadron meeting, a staff meeting that
we had 90 days prior. So in other words, Captain,
I'm the colonel. I want you to go and go back
90 days. I want you to change the information,
change the numbers on this report to reflect
this. So he wanted me to change official numbers
on an official document. And I told him, I said,
sir, no disrespect, but that's not the way it
happened. That's not accurate information. He
says, I know, but this is what we need to make
the numbers look right. And I said, but you're
not hearing what I'm saying. This is not accurate.
We're putting forth false information on an official
document. Well, he basically ordered me to, ordered
me. to change it and to sign the revised documents.
And I didn't do it. I said, sir, if you want
to change these documents, you change them and
you sign them. I'm not signing something that's
wrong. Now, some of you might say that I'm an
idiot for doing that, because that's your commanding
officer and things like that. Well, I'll also
tell you that we know, based on our training
as cadets, that there are things that are honorable.
And there are things that are dishonorable. And
in the military, as a pilot, we always had this
thing, how is this going to sound if I'm called
on the carpet to explain myself? If I get called
out for doing this, am I on the right side of
this deal, of what we're putting out there? Well,
fast forward, that commander was relieved of
duty, not because of anything I did, but because
the investigation, there was some investigation.
into the squadron, and he was relieved. There
were also two other captains in the squadron
that were relieved because they didn't stand
up and do the right thing. They were relieved.
So going solo, I did the right thing, and the
next commander that came in made my life hell
and basically made sure that I was not going
to be promoted to major, even though I was up
for major. I share that with you because my Air
Force career was literally tanked. It was destroyed
because I went solo. I took the high road. I
did the right thing. And as a result, I should
have a retirement from the Air Force, and I don't.
So why do I say these things? Again, sometimes
you have to go solo. Sometimes you have to do
the right thing just because it's the right thing
to do and let the cards fall as they will. Well,
I'm here to tell you that I wouldn't change a
thing. Looking back at all of those scenarios,
I wouldn't change a thing. And I think at the
end of the day, you know, each of us came into
this world solo. Maybe some of you came in with
a twin or something, but essentially you did
come in solo. You came in solo. You're going
to leave solo. This is all about you. It's all
about your journey. Sarah and I do this Soul
Decodes for you to figure out what is your soul's
journey? Who are you? Why are you here? How do
you interpret the world around you? And how do
you make it the best solo journey you can make
it? Yes, there's other people around you, but
they're on their solo journeys too, right? The
best thing we can do is help other people on
their solo journeys. But all of us are leaving.
We came alone and naked. We're leaving alone
and naked. So the best thing we can do is decide
what are we going to do? How do we make it the
best experience we can make it? And yes, there
will be some times we have to make tough decisions
solo. But let's try to make the relationships
that we have when we're not solo the best possible
relationships. And the relationship that you
have when you are solo, which is the relationship
you have with yourself, the one where you look
in the mirror and say, hell yeah, you did the
right thing for the right reason. Even if the
whole world disagrees with what you did, you
can stand, you can look at yourself in the eye
and say, hell yeah, you did it. So when we look
at the world around us, there's a bunch of stuff
going on. I'm encouraging you to just dive into
philosophy, study some of these philosophers,
study the scriptures that are not the canonized
ones. Look at the ones that are the Apocrypha,
the Dead Sea Scrolls, the Gospel of Thomas. Study
these other ones, these other scriptures. Find
out what other people observed. Find out what
they did, what they were thinking, what they
were doing, because they were on a solo journey
too. Each one of those was trying to find out
their life purpose, how do I navigate this life
that I've got, right? So I just want to say that
whatever you think is the real world around you,
as you look around and there's chaos, there's
stupidity, there's some things go your way, some
things don't go your way, whatever it is that's
going on around you, ultimately, the so -called
real world is not the one that's around you.
The real world is not what's going on on TV.
It's not the thing. It's not what's going on
at the pub or the ball field or the bowling alley.
It's none of that. That's not the real world.
The real world is you versus you. And it's a
solo journey. And we're here to help you. So
anyway, I wish Sarah was here to chime in on
this. She sends her love. I want to let you all
know that. This was excruciatingly difficult
for me to talk for whatever number of minutes
I did. I won't know until I actually look at
the tape or look at the recording. But thank
you for listening to me if you're still hanging
in there. I love you dearly. Even though you're
on a solo journey, you're not alone. I want you
to know, yes, you're solo. But no, you're not
alone, okay? Love you dearly. Thanks for tuning
in, Soul Decodes. I'm looking forward to talking
to you next week. And I promise you, I'm going
to make sure that Sarah does most of the talking,
okay? Be well. Soul Decodes, a feature presentation,
airs every Friday on the Earth Angel Media Network.
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