WEBVTT 00:00:00.840 --> 00:00:03.060 The following Earth Angel Media presentation 00:00:03.060 --> 00:00:06.360 is brought to you commercial free as a gratuity 00:00:06.360 --> 00:00:08.919 from the sponsor producer named after the show. 00:00:09.080 --> 00:00:12.099 Please consider their message. Find other high 00:00:12.099 --> 00:00:15.480 value shows listed at earthangelproject .com. 00:00:15.640 --> 00:00:38.880 Enjoy the show. Welcome to Soul Decodes. Join 00:00:38.880 --> 00:00:42.000 us as we wander off the path to find the ideas 00:00:42.000 --> 00:00:46.020 that fascinate. We talk about spirituality, the 00:00:46.020 --> 00:00:50.420 mind, the ego, wellness and hidden history with 00:00:50.420 --> 00:00:54.299 tips, travels and tales. Charms for a better 00:00:54.299 --> 00:01:05.829 life. And we're on the air. Sarah Thierry, welcome 00:01:05.829 --> 00:01:07.810 to the Treehouse. Thank you, darling. Lovely 00:01:07.810 --> 00:01:09.989 to be here. Isn't this weather gorgeous? It's 00:01:09.989 --> 00:01:12.349 absolutely divine and getting better. Divine 00:01:12.349 --> 00:01:15.090 and getting better. So welcome, everybody. My 00:01:15.090 --> 00:01:18.189 name is Dr. Tia Jolie Phillips, and I'm the co 00:01:18.189 --> 00:01:21.329 -hostess. I want to introduce our amazing hostess. 00:01:22.409 --> 00:01:26.629 She's Sarah Tirri. She's an author. For me, 00:01:26.650 --> 00:01:29.370 she's definitely a great friend. But she's an 00:01:29.370 --> 00:01:32.799 entrepreneur. She gives charitably. Every day 00:01:32.799 --> 00:01:35.019 we have something else to talk about. Yes. And 00:01:35.019 --> 00:01:37.719 every day I'm totally surprised. There's not 00:01:37.719 --> 00:01:39.579 a day where we... Well, this one's going to be 00:01:39.579 --> 00:01:42.219 about the ego. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. 00:01:42.340 --> 00:01:45.560 Well, I lost my ego a long time ago. I'm still 00:01:45.560 --> 00:01:48.659 working on it. So for those of you who are surprised 00:01:48.659 --> 00:01:51.159 with whatever our next episode is going to be 00:01:51.159 --> 00:01:53.640 about, welcome, because I'm always surprised 00:01:53.640 --> 00:01:57.120 as well. So this is Soul Decodes and this is 00:01:57.120 --> 00:02:00.340 Sarah Thierry. Go ahead. Well, part of... decoding 00:02:00.340 --> 00:02:04.060 the soul requires we inspect our ego and so let 00:02:04.060 --> 00:02:08.259 me just let's so about 15 20 podcasts ago you 00:02:08.259 --> 00:02:10.120 talked about the encounter you had with a band 00:02:10.120 --> 00:02:13.560 member when you went to vegas and that you felt 00:02:13.560 --> 00:02:17.000 that he needed to be replaced with a better vocalist 00:02:17.000 --> 00:02:19.280 and then you had that whole ego encounter with 00:02:19.280 --> 00:02:21.699 him so the similar thing happened to me last 00:02:21.699 --> 00:02:25.400 week okay so it's kind of interesting So I'd 00:02:25.400 --> 00:02:28.620 met this guy a few months ago, and I was going 00:02:28.620 --> 00:02:31.060 to produce his poetry, publish his poetry in 00:02:31.060 --> 00:02:33.780 an anthology, have him on the radio station recording 00:02:33.780 --> 00:02:35.979 it, and then having him in a live event reading 00:02:35.979 --> 00:02:39.719 it out loud. So I travelled to England, came 00:02:39.719 --> 00:02:41.719 back, and then I got COVID. And so I started 00:02:41.719 --> 00:02:44.039 working on it. It was last weekend, last Saturday. 00:02:44.659 --> 00:02:48.199 And it was a lovely poem. I'm going to call him 00:02:48.199 --> 00:02:50.060 John. His name's not John, but I'm going to refer 00:02:50.060 --> 00:02:53.219 to him as John. It was a lovely poem of a death 00:02:53.219 --> 00:02:55.919 going to... the afterlife meeting whoever you 00:02:55.919 --> 00:02:57.539 need to meet and then coming back to the planet 00:02:57.539 --> 00:03:01.460 again so I got his poem and quite a lot of it 00:03:01.460 --> 00:03:04.639 needed developing it needed more vocabulary you 00:03:04.639 --> 00:03:06.680 needed to change the way it was laid out because 00:03:06.680 --> 00:03:09.460 there were too many words and I sent it back 00:03:09.460 --> 00:03:13.120 to him this is for the review and he said he 00:03:13.120 --> 00:03:16.840 didn't want anyone to touch the words. It had 00:03:16.840 --> 00:03:19.659 to be the way he originally said it had to be. 00:03:19.740 --> 00:03:21.960 And it was really good, but it wasn't everything 00:03:21.960 --> 00:03:26.340 it could be. And he hadn't read my edit either. 00:03:26.460 --> 00:03:28.740 He just said he wasn't going to change it. So 00:03:28.740 --> 00:03:31.900 three hours later, I email him back and I said, 00:03:31.919 --> 00:03:34.479 I don't think we're a good fit because coming 00:03:34.479 --> 00:03:37.159 right out the gate, and I thought it was quite 00:03:37.159 --> 00:03:39.020 demanding. I thought it was unreasonable. And 00:03:39.020 --> 00:03:41.360 no one goes on your first draft. I mean, when 00:03:41.360 --> 00:03:45.229 you're a writer, you do so many drafts. But I 00:03:45.229 --> 00:03:48.030 said it very, very politely. And I told him my 00:03:48.030 --> 00:03:50.490 reasons why. And I said, you're a great guy and 00:03:50.490 --> 00:03:54.199 please call in if you get the chance. He texted 00:03:54.199 --> 00:03:56.939 me back and it was about midnight and I'd woken 00:03:56.939 --> 00:03:59.860 up at midnight and I saw his, it was an email, 00:04:00.000 --> 00:04:02.919 and he was really worried about me plagiarising 00:04:02.919 --> 00:04:05.759 his poems. And he didn't call me Sarah, he called 00:04:05.759 --> 00:04:08.560 me Mrs. Thierry, which was strange. And he said 00:04:08.560 --> 00:04:11.460 he was really concerned that either I'll plagiarise 00:04:11.460 --> 00:04:13.759 them or, he didn't accuse me of it. He said, 00:04:13.759 --> 00:04:16.120 I want it to be understood that you can't use 00:04:16.120 --> 00:04:19.040 these poems, you can't publish them under a pseudonym. 00:04:19.079 --> 00:04:21.779 And I would just never take someone else's work 00:04:21.779 --> 00:04:24.120 and do that. Never crossed your mind. Oh, and 00:04:24.120 --> 00:04:26.459 I was just like really indignant. So I sent him 00:04:26.459 --> 00:04:28.800 an email back and I said, I'm not accustomed 00:04:28.800 --> 00:04:31.639 to being insulted in this way, but please, I 00:04:31.639 --> 00:04:34.800 understand that you're, what was the word I used? 00:04:34.819 --> 00:04:36.699 I can't quite remember, but I understood his 00:04:36.699 --> 00:04:39.699 agitation. I said, please rest assured, I would 00:04:39.699 --> 00:04:42.319 never use your poetry and masquerade it as my 00:04:42.319 --> 00:04:45.529 own in my name or any other name. And then I 00:04:45.529 --> 00:04:48.029 sent that back. And then the following day, he 00:04:48.029 --> 00:04:49.889 sent me another email. And that was when you're 00:04:49.889 --> 00:04:53.129 a selfish bitch. You got my hopes up and you've 00:04:53.129 --> 00:04:56.370 dashed my hopes. I think you're a crappy writer. 00:04:56.529 --> 00:04:59.790 I've thrown your books in the trash. And it was 00:04:59.790 --> 00:05:03.389 just very, very mean and spiteful. And I didn't 00:05:03.389 --> 00:05:06.350 respond to that one because now I'm just like, 00:05:06.389 --> 00:05:08.670 I can't, I just can't pull myself into that low 00:05:08.670 --> 00:05:12.110 grade energy. But then now I have to look at 00:05:12.110 --> 00:05:15.310 my own ego in this, not just his ego. That's 00:05:15.310 --> 00:05:19.509 very obvious. So I'm saying to myself, but I'm 00:05:19.509 --> 00:05:22.209 not sure whether this is ego or soul. I'm glad 00:05:22.209 --> 00:05:26.139 I found out early who he was. Because that was 00:05:26.139 --> 00:05:30.660 unbelievable, that reaction. And then part of 00:05:30.660 --> 00:05:34.139 me feels that I did get his hopes up and I would 00:05:34.139 --> 00:05:35.759 have done everything that I said I was going 00:05:35.759 --> 00:05:38.899 to do. So he probably did have his hopes dashed. 00:05:38.899 --> 00:05:40.879 And I feel like I should have compassion about 00:05:40.879 --> 00:05:43.040 that because that's not a nice feeling, is it? 00:05:44.089 --> 00:05:47.370 In his degree of inflexibility and an unwillingness 00:05:47.370 --> 00:05:50.269 to... If I'm going to publish an anthology, it 00:05:50.269 --> 00:05:52.629 has to be the best it can be. I wouldn't want 00:05:52.629 --> 00:05:54.689 to put crap out there. And I'm not saying it 00:05:54.689 --> 00:05:56.970 was crap. Well, I want you to do mine then. I'll 00:05:56.970 --> 00:06:00.089 do it. Don't you call me a selfish bitch in the 00:06:00.089 --> 00:06:03.250 middle of the night? So I'm wrestling with my 00:06:03.250 --> 00:06:06.040 own... Not with you in front of me. In your presence, 00:06:06.120 --> 00:06:12.220 I wouldn't. Just in your dreams. Okay, so it's 00:06:12.220 --> 00:06:13.980 been a very uncomfortable week. That's like not 00:06:13.980 --> 00:06:16.899 okay, but you're still smiling. Yes, I want to 00:06:16.899 --> 00:06:20.910 make sure because I believe that... When you 00:06:20.910 --> 00:06:23.290 have things that happen in your life like this, 00:06:23.329 --> 00:06:26.490 they happen for a reason. And I feel that there's 00:06:26.490 --> 00:06:29.050 unfinished business. And I feel that we'll come 00:06:29.050 --> 00:06:31.410 back and we'll have to deal with this again. 00:06:31.670 --> 00:06:33.850 You can't leave this planet if you're hoping 00:06:33.850 --> 00:06:36.829 to graduate and have this all left open like 00:06:36.829 --> 00:06:40.509 that. So I'm feeling, but I have to worry about 00:06:40.509 --> 00:06:42.670 my own ego coming in because my own ego is like, 00:06:42.769 --> 00:06:45.509 fuck this shit. You were really rude and really 00:06:45.509 --> 00:06:47.250 nasty and I don't want anything to do with you. 00:06:47.310 --> 00:06:49.050 And that's my ego's position. And I can hear 00:06:49.050 --> 00:06:51.610 it. It's as clear. day. I've got this other voice 00:06:51.610 --> 00:06:54.889 saying, well, maybe you should apologize for, 00:06:55.009 --> 00:06:57.470 I could have let him down. I mean, I was quite 00:06:57.470 --> 00:06:59.750 direct and I'm quite a direct person. Maybe I 00:06:59.750 --> 00:07:01.389 could have let him down a little more softly. 00:07:01.750 --> 00:07:04.189 Maybe I could have negotiated with him a bit. 00:07:04.350 --> 00:07:06.550 So I feel that maybe I should say to him, I'm 00:07:06.550 --> 00:07:10.189 sorry for how I handled it. It's a difficult 00:07:10.189 --> 00:07:12.750 one. There's so many things to unpack here. Yeah. 00:07:12.889 --> 00:07:15.470 But, but so let me ask you this, like looking 00:07:15.470 --> 00:07:18.569 back, this is what been a few days now. All right. 00:07:19.279 --> 00:07:23.420 Looking back at your intuitive level, is there 00:07:23.420 --> 00:07:27.420 anything major that you would feel like you should 00:07:27.420 --> 00:07:30.100 do differently? This is a question I always ask 00:07:30.100 --> 00:07:33.019 my children when they were growing up. Would 00:07:33.019 --> 00:07:34.939 you do something different? Now that it's in 00:07:34.939 --> 00:07:37.660 your rearview mirror, would you do something 00:07:37.660 --> 00:07:40.019 different? I think if I take a lesson from it, 00:07:40.079 --> 00:07:44.250 it would be... I should have realised how disappointed 00:07:44.250 --> 00:07:47.170 he was going to be because we talked about it 00:07:47.170 --> 00:07:49.189 and he'd got his hopes up. Had I have anticipated 00:07:49.189 --> 00:07:52.550 that, I felt that I could have said to him, listen, 00:07:52.689 --> 00:07:55.709 I'm not prepared to publish a first draft, but 00:07:55.709 --> 00:07:59.970 not just end it. But when he said, I'm not going 00:07:59.970 --> 00:08:02.329 to read your edit and I'm not changing any of 00:08:02.329 --> 00:08:05.290 the words in it. At that point, I realised I 00:08:05.290 --> 00:08:07.110 couldn't work with someone like that. That would 00:08:07.110 --> 00:08:09.129 be very difficult. And I'm financing this whole 00:08:09.129 --> 00:08:14.029 project. You are? Yes. So and I knew that I couldn't 00:08:14.029 --> 00:08:17.430 work with that. So I'm OK with my decision. And 00:08:17.430 --> 00:08:20.290 then when he came out and just displayed this 00:08:20.290 --> 00:08:22.389 part of his character, I'm actually quite pleased 00:08:22.389 --> 00:08:24.790 that it just happened early on. But I just have 00:08:24.790 --> 00:08:27.550 to I just want to make sure that my. Because 00:08:27.550 --> 00:08:30.149 it could be that I could get in touch with him 00:08:30.149 --> 00:08:32.730 in a couple of weeks and then just say, this 00:08:32.730 --> 00:08:35.190 is how I feel about it. I mean, Tony, my husband, 00:08:35.230 --> 00:08:37.230 would say, don't touch it with a barge pole. 00:08:37.370 --> 00:08:39.950 Leave it in the rearview mirror. But I don't 00:08:39.950 --> 00:08:42.769 want this. But I sometimes worry that it's an 00:08:42.769 --> 00:08:46.250 unfinished end that will require that I address 00:08:46.250 --> 00:08:48.909 this either now. And I don't want to have to 00:08:48.909 --> 00:08:50.950 fucking be reborn to deal with this little clown. 00:08:51.190 --> 00:08:54.750 Yeah, sure. This thing is now worth coming back 00:08:54.750 --> 00:08:56.759 for. Can we have a discussion about this? Yes, 00:08:56.759 --> 00:08:59.559 please. First of all, I get the whole thing about 00:08:59.559 --> 00:09:02.559 the ego and it's difficult sometimes. That's 00:09:02.559 --> 00:09:04.980 why I always ask, like when my only daughter 00:09:04.980 --> 00:09:07.320 was growing up, she was having a hard time with 00:09:07.320 --> 00:09:09.940 friendships and it wasn't, part of it was her, 00:09:10.019 --> 00:09:12.740 but part of it was the other kids too. Like you 00:09:12.740 --> 00:09:14.919 have to find that balance because everything's 00:09:14.919 --> 00:09:18.879 about relationships and she was really in a dark 00:09:18.879 --> 00:09:22.019 spot. And I asked her, I said, sweetheart, how 00:09:22.019 --> 00:09:24.899 would you like to have 10 friends? exactly like 00:09:24.899 --> 00:09:30.100 you and she said i would love that and and i 00:09:30.100 --> 00:09:32.919 said so that's a good answer tony would love 00:09:32.919 --> 00:09:35.440 that too but that's a really genuine question 00:09:35.440 --> 00:09:37.519 and it's a genuine answer yes sure because it's 00:09:37.519 --> 00:09:41.240 like okay so from your perspective it's really 00:09:41.240 --> 00:09:44.340 not a it's not you like if you know in your heart 00:09:44.340 --> 00:09:47.899 that you want 10 friends just like you then we 00:09:47.899 --> 00:09:50.500 we have to discuss that yes because that's either 00:09:50.500 --> 00:09:53.019 you're living in some fantasy world well it would 00:09:53.019 --> 00:09:55.700 be easy for her to have friends like her then 00:09:55.700 --> 00:09:57.500 because she could relate to them having friends 00:09:57.500 --> 00:09:59.559 that are not like you it's harder to work that 00:09:59.559 --> 00:10:01.980 out as a kid isn't it right so it's a very honest 00:10:01.980 --> 00:10:03.799 answer but it's an honest answer i'd love to 00:10:03.799 --> 00:10:05.759 have friends okay so let's have a conversation 00:10:05.759 --> 00:10:09.200 about what transacted there and then we have 00:10:09.200 --> 00:10:11.679 is this the behavior that you would have elicited 00:10:11.679 --> 00:10:14.100 and i like to separate things a lot of times 00:10:14.100 --> 00:10:17.529 you know you talk in terms of your ego self and 00:10:17.529 --> 00:10:19.769 your other self. As a holistic practitioner, 00:10:20.490 --> 00:10:23.370 I see them all as one. I want them to work as 00:10:23.370 --> 00:10:25.710 one. I don't want to be ego dominant though. 00:10:25.789 --> 00:10:28.409 I don't want to come down on him so hard because 00:10:28.409 --> 00:10:31.389 he's a fellow human being. I mean, he was really 00:10:31.389 --> 00:10:33.950 rude to me, but I just want to make sure my reaction 00:10:33.950 --> 00:10:37.509 isn't totally ego dominant because I do have 00:10:37.509 --> 00:10:41.830 a very well -structured ego. But that works for 00:10:41.830 --> 00:10:44.230 me. I'm a strong person and I like that. And 00:10:44.230 --> 00:10:45.929 no one's going to treat me like a doormat. And 00:10:45.929 --> 00:10:48.029 that happened as a result of my childhood. At 00:10:48.029 --> 00:10:50.740 some point, I must have said, I'm gonna you know 00:10:50.740 --> 00:10:53.639 strengthen myself here but I just but you're 00:10:53.639 --> 00:10:56.340 seeing it as and I believe that ego and higher 00:10:56.340 --> 00:10:59.419 mind and ego there should be working as one cohesive 00:10:59.419 --> 00:11:02.100 beautiful mechanism yeah so I don't want to strike 00:11:02.100 --> 00:11:04.200 out on the ego side with it at the balance I 00:11:04.200 --> 00:11:05.639 don't I don't think you need to worry about that 00:11:05.639 --> 00:11:07.620 you're you're amazing I know you're tending to 00:11:07.620 --> 00:11:10.000 look at things right now from a position of you 00:11:10.000 --> 00:11:13.860 know ego versus non -ego or ego versus higher 00:11:13.860 --> 00:11:18.580 mind esoteric whatever yeah but What I've tended 00:11:18.580 --> 00:11:20.820 to do over my life, like especially this past 00:11:20.820 --> 00:11:24.179 30 years, is kind of instead of separating it 00:11:24.179 --> 00:11:27.539 that way, separate it. First of all, I look at 00:11:27.539 --> 00:11:31.720 everybody as divine, perfect soul. This is not 00:11:31.720 --> 00:11:35.139 a character thing. I don't look at them as deficient 00:11:35.139 --> 00:11:37.480 as a character, as a soulful character in any 00:11:37.480 --> 00:11:40.419 regard. So I separate them more along the lines 00:11:40.419 --> 00:11:43.580 of character versus behavior. Right. And I taught 00:11:43.580 --> 00:11:45.980 my children that too. Like I never call, like 00:11:45.980 --> 00:11:48.639 I would never call you. It's like, Sarah, you're 00:11:48.639 --> 00:11:50.899 a stupid idiot. Like I would never say you're, 00:11:50.919 --> 00:11:54.019 you know, anything like that. I would say, Sarah, 00:11:54.100 --> 00:11:56.200 you're a beautiful, you're such a beautiful friend. 00:11:56.440 --> 00:11:59.299 And, you know, I just love virtually everything 00:11:59.299 --> 00:12:01.620 about you. I do have questions about your behavior 00:12:01.620 --> 00:12:04.240 and I'm trying to resolve this in my brain. Is 00:12:04.240 --> 00:12:06.440 this something we can talk about? Right. Right. 00:12:06.480 --> 00:12:10.240 So it's like. I'm not calling you a name. I'm 00:12:10.240 --> 00:12:12.620 not challenging your ego. I'm not challenging 00:12:12.620 --> 00:12:15.299 you. Yeah, you've selected your words very carefully. 00:12:15.320 --> 00:12:18.679 But I'm very, very, like almost once a week, 00:12:18.779 --> 00:12:21.820 I'm talking to people about their behaviors. 00:12:22.019 --> 00:12:25.039 But it's framed. You phrased it well. It's framed 00:12:25.039 --> 00:12:28.799 up in this position of, look, I love you and 00:12:28.799 --> 00:12:31.940 I adore you. I think you're amazing. A lot of 00:12:31.940 --> 00:12:33.559 times I love those people more than they love 00:12:33.559 --> 00:12:36.220 themselves. But I still have to address the behavior, 00:12:36.340 --> 00:12:39.059 so I try to keep them separate. As recently as 00:12:39.059 --> 00:12:43.700 this week, somebody tried to pull me into their 00:12:43.700 --> 00:12:46.379 drama. There's a husband and a wife. I'm friends 00:12:46.379 --> 00:12:48.799 with both of them. Is this the one where the 00:12:48.799 --> 00:12:51.679 husband's... He's the one that he has health 00:12:51.679 --> 00:12:55.000 issues. Nope. I got plenty of those though. Yeah. 00:12:55.039 --> 00:12:57.360 Okay. But this is just a husband and wife. I 00:12:57.360 --> 00:12:59.600 mean, he does have health issues. So the answer 00:12:59.600 --> 00:13:01.120 is yes, but I don't know if it's the same one 00:13:01.120 --> 00:13:02.840 you're talking about. Plus I can't talk about 00:13:02.840 --> 00:13:05.299 it anyway. But anyway, so there's husband and 00:13:05.299 --> 00:13:06.659 wife, they're going through a divorce. They're, 00:13:06.659 --> 00:13:09.039 it's one of those nasty divorces and it doesn't 00:13:09.039 --> 00:13:11.879 have to be that way, but each one of them wants 00:13:11.879 --> 00:13:15.220 me and my wife to be pulled into their camp. 00:13:15.340 --> 00:13:18.259 Yeah. But we've told them for six months now, 00:13:18.340 --> 00:13:22.539 look, We love you both. We honor you both. You're 00:13:22.539 --> 00:13:24.759 both going through some crap. We're not going 00:13:24.759 --> 00:13:26.840 to take sides. Yeah. We're just not going to 00:13:26.840 --> 00:13:29.500 do it. Do you privately understand who's the 00:13:29.500 --> 00:13:31.679 one causing it and who's the one that's a victim 00:13:31.679 --> 00:13:34.100 or are they both as bad as each other? Oh, they're 00:13:34.100 --> 00:13:36.899 both psycho. They're both nuts. They're both. 00:13:36.960 --> 00:13:42.200 But you know, in truthfulness, that's a transient 00:13:42.200 --> 00:13:46.960 thing. Like being psycho. is what it is. It's 00:13:46.960 --> 00:13:49.120 like, I don't, to me, that's not a negative thing. 00:13:49.179 --> 00:13:51.179 Cause I know when I went through my divorce, 00:13:51.240 --> 00:13:55.879 like 29 years ago, I was psycho, but it was, 00:13:55.879 --> 00:13:58.379 it was reactionary. It's like, Holy crap. Cause 00:13:58.379 --> 00:14:00.759 you know, I didn't get into a, I didn't get married 00:14:00.759 --> 00:14:03.759 to get unmarried. Like my intent was to stand 00:14:03.759 --> 00:14:06.580 there forever and ever. Amen. Yeah. I went to 00:14:06.580 --> 00:14:09.679 marriage counseling by myself for a year. And 00:14:09.679 --> 00:14:12.370 finally the counselor was like, you know, I think 00:14:12.370 --> 00:14:15.090 we're as far as we can go with you, so this is 00:14:15.090 --> 00:14:17.730 not going to work with one of you. I just bring 00:14:17.730 --> 00:14:20.649 that up. I think that when there's circumstances, 00:14:20.889 --> 00:14:24.330 there's chances for all of us to be psycho. When 00:14:24.330 --> 00:14:26.169 you said to this couple, we're not going to take 00:14:26.169 --> 00:14:28.490 size and we don't want to get involved, were 00:14:28.490 --> 00:14:30.990 they okay with that? They understood your need 00:14:30.990 --> 00:14:33.970 to be impartial? Well, to me, I don't care if 00:14:33.970 --> 00:14:36.450 they're okay or not. No, but were they? I don't 00:14:36.450 --> 00:14:38.210 think so, because I think both of them loved 00:14:38.210 --> 00:14:41.990 Robin and me. They both wanted us. To both be 00:14:41.990 --> 00:14:45.870 in their camp. Because it's a logical fallacy 00:14:45.870 --> 00:14:48.169 called black or white. And the idea is that, 00:14:48.269 --> 00:14:50.929 well, if you're friends with Sarah, you can't 00:14:50.929 --> 00:14:53.149 be friends with Tia Jolie. Like it's one or the 00:14:53.149 --> 00:14:56.750 other. It's a logical fallacy. And it's not black 00:14:56.750 --> 00:15:00.440 or white. And I think when people are in ego 00:15:00.440 --> 00:15:03.600 dramas, which is what a divorce is, then it's 00:15:03.600 --> 00:15:05.659 quite tempting to want to have someone on your 00:15:05.659 --> 00:15:08.200 side, isn't it? You get a load of people rallying 00:15:08.200 --> 00:15:11.000 around after you. It strengthens your own ego 00:15:11.000 --> 00:15:14.860 and your own decision making. I think that's 00:15:14.860 --> 00:15:16.720 what people want. I've been involved in a couple 00:15:16.720 --> 00:15:20.059 of those situations years ago. I got this gay 00:15:20.059 --> 00:15:22.059 couple at British Airways. I won't mention their 00:15:22.059 --> 00:15:24.720 names. I loved them. But they had marital problems 00:15:24.720 --> 00:15:28.279 and I was drawn into it. it on both sides and 00:15:28.279 --> 00:15:30.240 they ended up staying together but because I'd 00:15:30.240 --> 00:15:32.840 been drawn in then I was rejected and it was 00:15:32.840 --> 00:15:36.320 absolutely tragic it was awful and I thought 00:15:36.320 --> 00:15:38.159 you know what fuck that that's never going to 00:15:38.159 --> 00:15:40.980 happen again and so I never got there it was 00:15:40.980 --> 00:15:44.480 that I came dreadfully close to that with a family 00:15:44.480 --> 00:15:47.559 member I won't say which one or if it's a primary 00:15:47.559 --> 00:15:49.620 or secondary family member but somebody in my 00:15:49.620 --> 00:15:53.690 family they were having marital problems And 00:15:53.690 --> 00:15:55.750 each one of them, independent of each other, 00:15:55.789 --> 00:15:58.269 confided in me. And I didn't really say anything, 00:15:58.370 --> 00:16:02.049 didn't really take sides. But for each of them, 00:16:02.090 --> 00:16:05.850 I gave them private, individual consult. And 00:16:05.850 --> 00:16:09.070 my consult's always about finding a space for 00:16:09.070 --> 00:16:11.909 grace. You know, you fell in love with each other 00:16:11.909 --> 00:16:14.269 at some point in time. But when they gave me 00:16:14.269 --> 00:16:16.450 negative about each other, and I talked about 00:16:16.450 --> 00:16:20.769 that to them individually, when they ended up 00:16:20.769 --> 00:16:23.399 getting back together, I was like, well, wait 00:16:23.399 --> 00:16:27.200 a minute. Yeah. I've tried to be a friend to 00:16:27.200 --> 00:16:29.500 both of you and walk the line. I didn't initiate 00:16:29.500 --> 00:16:32.980 anything. All I did was reflected back what they 00:16:32.980 --> 00:16:36.539 gave me. And then all of a sudden, I almost got 00:16:36.539 --> 00:16:39.779 in that pinch. So I stopped. It's like Robin 00:16:39.779 --> 00:16:42.580 and I are the same way. We're like, we love all 00:16:42.580 --> 00:16:44.659 y 'all. If there's something I can do for you, 00:16:44.740 --> 00:16:47.879 I will help. Or for him, I will help. We're here 00:16:47.879 --> 00:16:49.799 to serve you. We're here to help you. But we're 00:16:49.799 --> 00:16:52.350 not doormats. Right. You don't get to wipe your 00:16:52.350 --> 00:16:54.129 feet on us and go somewhere else. Well, what 00:16:54.129 --> 00:16:57.350 happened was a friend, another mutual friend 00:16:57.350 --> 00:17:00.950 of theirs sent me this, whatever. I'm not a Facebook 00:17:00.950 --> 00:17:02.730 person. I don't even read this stuff. She's like, 00:17:02.850 --> 00:17:05.990 your name was on this post. And I'm like, so? 00:17:06.349 --> 00:17:08.369 It's like one of them was trying to pull me into 00:17:08.369 --> 00:17:11.470 their camp on this thing. You know, it basically 00:17:11.470 --> 00:17:14.970 said, you know, Dr. Phillips and, you know, a 00:17:14.970 --> 00:17:17.430 20 year Air Force captain is, you know, pretty 00:17:17.430 --> 00:17:20.559 much on my side on this. And that was not true. 00:17:20.720 --> 00:17:23.400 No. That was bearing false witness because I 00:17:23.400 --> 00:17:28.220 never said that. I don't take sides. So now I 00:17:28.220 --> 00:17:30.579 get sucked in. So the person that referred this, 00:17:30.759 --> 00:17:32.819 she's like, what are you going to do about this? 00:17:32.900 --> 00:17:35.339 I said, nothing. I said, I'm going to address 00:17:35.339 --> 00:17:38.220 the behavior. I still love them both exactly 00:17:38.220 --> 00:17:41.140 where they are. This behavior, I'll address the 00:17:41.140 --> 00:17:42.980 behavior, which I haven't done yet. This is just 00:17:42.980 --> 00:17:46.789 two days ago. hey, what is this all about? Like, 00:17:46.829 --> 00:17:48.950 I told you I don't take sides, but this thing 00:17:48.950 --> 00:17:51.869 you put out there to the world on Facebook. Yeah. 00:17:52.569 --> 00:17:54.869 It's distortion. This is a distortion of the 00:17:54.869 --> 00:17:57.490 truth. I'm not on your camp. I'm not on hers. 00:17:57.690 --> 00:18:00.829 I love you both equally. So I can see where... 00:18:00.829 --> 00:18:03.049 And what do you guess her answer is going to 00:18:03.049 --> 00:18:05.089 be? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. Or 00:18:05.089 --> 00:18:06.710 will she defend that position? Well, that was 00:18:06.710 --> 00:18:09.269 the guy. A guy, okay. But what's interesting 00:18:09.269 --> 00:18:13.559 is I did... communicate to the girl. And I said, 00:18:13.599 --> 00:18:16.819 just so you know, my position and Robin's is 00:18:16.819 --> 00:18:20.779 that we don't take sides. And because they're 00:18:20.779 --> 00:18:23.220 both in this divorce, it's a psychotic situation. 00:18:23.839 --> 00:18:27.880 Her answer was totally inappropriate. I just 00:18:27.880 --> 00:18:29.579 have to back away. So her response to you was 00:18:29.579 --> 00:18:32.480 inappropriate. Yeah. Yeah. And so now. So now 00:18:32.480 --> 00:18:34.380 they're both acting inappropriately. But you 00:18:34.380 --> 00:18:38.400 know what? But, you know, I can. I know. This 00:18:38.400 --> 00:18:40.900 is so difficult because all you can really do 00:18:40.900 --> 00:18:43.519 is just, you know. Well, pull back to start with. 00:18:43.619 --> 00:18:46.500 Well, yeah. I told Rob and I said, I can only 00:18:46.500 --> 00:18:49.559 do my best. Yeah. When the dust settles. Yes. 00:18:49.740 --> 00:18:52.039 And that's the thing. When there's chaos and 00:18:52.039 --> 00:18:54.380 they're in the mix, sometimes all you can do 00:18:54.380 --> 00:18:57.460 is just be quiet. And I find myself doing that 00:18:57.460 --> 00:19:00.079 and just literally saying, like whenever I feel 00:19:00.079 --> 00:19:03.839 like my ego wants to engage, I just simply say. 00:19:05.000 --> 00:19:07.740 First of all, do I need to respond? No. Yes. 00:19:08.119 --> 00:19:12.579 It's so petty. Yeah. It's like fifth grade. Except 00:19:12.579 --> 00:19:15.440 for there's thousands of dollars involved. Yeah. 00:19:15.920 --> 00:19:19.680 So that takes it from fifth grade times 10. It's 00:19:19.680 --> 00:19:21.980 still fifth grade times 10. Something at stake. 00:19:22.220 --> 00:19:24.279 This is a good discussion because I think everybody 00:19:24.279 --> 00:19:26.640 listening to this has probably either been through 00:19:26.640 --> 00:19:30.759 this garbage. But I'm not negative on divorce. 00:19:30.880 --> 00:19:34.059 I think that. I mean, I've been there. Sometimes 00:19:34.059 --> 00:19:36.019 you have to go through that. Well, maybe it was 00:19:36.019 --> 00:19:39.359 in your life plan. Maybe you have a marriage 00:19:39.359 --> 00:19:41.460 and you think it's for life because you romanticize 00:19:41.460 --> 00:19:43.720 that. You feel initially it should be. But maybe 00:19:43.720 --> 00:19:46.319 because if your first marriage had stayed intact, 00:19:46.420 --> 00:19:50.220 you wouldn't have met Robin. So there was no 00:19:50.220 --> 00:19:54.059 right or wrong about that. You had whatever you 00:19:54.059 --> 00:19:57.339 needed to work out, and so did she, and then 00:19:57.339 --> 00:20:00.000 you move on. It doesn't have to be for life. 00:20:00.180 --> 00:20:02.210 We want it to be for life. life and we say that 00:20:02.210 --> 00:20:04.069 for better or worse rich or poor and we want 00:20:04.069 --> 00:20:06.390 that and that's a romantic notion but sometimes 00:20:06.390 --> 00:20:09.150 it's not in our life plan and even even if even 00:20:09.150 --> 00:20:12.750 as I was because I ended up being the one that 00:20:12.750 --> 00:20:15.109 filed for a divorce even though I was against 00:20:15.109 --> 00:20:17.309 everything I did I just realized it's just not 00:20:17.309 --> 00:20:19.950 going to work yeah but even after that happened 00:20:19.950 --> 00:20:24.329 I continued to give and give and I primarily 00:20:24.329 --> 00:20:28.069 wanted my ex to finally find happiness even if 00:20:28.069 --> 00:20:31.650 it's not with me that's nice right I just And, 00:20:31.690 --> 00:20:33.349 you know, the first few years following a divorce 00:20:33.349 --> 00:20:36.390 is, you know, it's a shit sandwich. I mean, there's 00:20:36.390 --> 00:20:38.390 nothing getting around it, especially with kids 00:20:38.390 --> 00:20:41.089 involved. But ultimately, you know, when I was 00:20:41.089 --> 00:20:43.710 going through my divorce, my ex was just all 00:20:43.710 --> 00:20:46.069 negative, negative to all of our friends, trying 00:20:46.069 --> 00:20:50.210 to pull friends their way. But the true friends, 00:20:50.329 --> 00:20:52.269 like I had two friends, both of them happened 00:20:52.269 --> 00:20:55.829 to be fellow military pilots. I never defended 00:20:55.829 --> 00:20:58.849 myself. I never... Called her bad names or anything. 00:20:59.009 --> 00:21:03.789 I was just always there. And I just took a deep 00:21:03.789 --> 00:21:05.730 breath. Whenever the negative happened, I backed 00:21:05.730 --> 00:21:08.049 away from it. And one of my friends came up, 00:21:08.150 --> 00:21:10.750 military. We all have call signs. His name was 00:21:10.750 --> 00:21:14.329 Knocker. Knocker and Cujo, two different pilots. 00:21:14.490 --> 00:21:19.789 But Knocker came up and said, you know, he called 00:21:19.789 --> 00:21:23.509 me my call sign, which is dealer. And he says, 00:21:23.549 --> 00:21:27.720 dealer, I hear everything that's going on. and 00:21:27.720 --> 00:21:30.559 he says i don't see it like i hear the the noise 00:21:30.559 --> 00:21:33.700 but i don't see it i don't perceive it i don't 00:21:33.700 --> 00:21:36.019 my intuition himself with it and he looked and 00:21:36.019 --> 00:21:38.299 he it was it was the first honest answer i had 00:21:38.299 --> 00:21:40.380 from anybody even my own siblings were discarding 00:21:40.380 --> 00:21:44.599 me and i said and i cried i cried i said knocker 00:21:44.599 --> 00:21:47.059 i said that's nice you're the first one to see 00:21:47.059 --> 00:21:49.880 through all this i'm not gonna throw my Soon 00:21:49.880 --> 00:21:53.099 to be under the bus. That was nice of him to 00:21:53.099 --> 00:21:55.099 be spiritually mature as well. Yeah, and he's 00:21:55.099 --> 00:21:57.500 a minister. Believe it or not, he's like a Baptist 00:21:57.500 --> 00:22:01.339 minister, which blew me away because I don't 00:22:01.339 --> 00:22:04.160 typically get there from Baptist ministers. They're 00:22:04.160 --> 00:22:06.599 usually, not usually, but the ones I've experienced 00:22:06.599 --> 00:22:09.779 have been not that. Yes, so he was an anomaly. 00:22:09.779 --> 00:22:12.619 So he was like this total anomaly as Baptist 00:22:12.619 --> 00:22:16.579 ministers go. So, you know, you can't take one 00:22:16.579 --> 00:22:19.839 situation and judge all of them. My experience 00:22:19.839 --> 00:22:23.539 is that those things are the divorce stuff is 00:22:23.539 --> 00:22:27.259 best left unchecked. Sadly, this friend that 00:22:27.259 --> 00:22:29.000 was doing the poetry and you had this agreement, 00:22:29.220 --> 00:22:32.960 that's a divorce. Yeah. I mean, it really is. 00:22:33.180 --> 00:22:35.099 And especially for you, you know, you're always 00:22:35.099 --> 00:22:38.680 so kind with your spending your money and investing 00:22:38.680 --> 00:22:41.220 in other people. Even now you brought some beautiful 00:22:41.220 --> 00:22:46.019 vegan, you know, treats for us. You know, you're 00:22:46.019 --> 00:22:48.200 always so kind and you're always giving to other 00:22:48.200 --> 00:22:51.099 people. Intuitively, I just say you don't deserve 00:22:51.099 --> 00:22:55.019 this. Yeah, I mean, I don't feel like a victim 00:22:55.019 --> 00:22:57.619 in it at all. I mean, I might never even talk 00:22:57.619 --> 00:22:59.859 to this guy again. And then when I make that 00:22:59.859 --> 00:23:02.119 decision, I'll flush him from my mind and I'll 00:23:02.119 --> 00:23:04.900 just put that down to a life lesson. Part of 00:23:04.900 --> 00:23:08.359 me said, well, maybe this is his lesson because 00:23:08.359 --> 00:23:10.839 had he have handled this, had he have been more 00:23:10.839 --> 00:23:13.579 reasonable, and then when he's coming out and 00:23:13.579 --> 00:23:15.660 then just calling me all these unnecessary names, 00:23:15.859 --> 00:23:18.359 maybe this is set up that he's got something 00:23:18.359 --> 00:23:21.019 to work on, that he needs to realise that you've 00:23:21.019 --> 00:23:23.500 really sabotaged yourself here because I was 00:23:23.500 --> 00:23:25.799 here for you and we could have done this. But 00:23:25.799 --> 00:23:28.220 then I worry, is that my ego is saying that? 00:23:28.279 --> 00:23:30.619 Because your ego, it can be very, very tricky. 00:23:30.960 --> 00:23:34.079 So is this his lesson in life? he going to have 00:23:34.079 --> 00:23:36.420 to work this out or is that my ego saying that 00:23:36.420 --> 00:23:39.259 because I worry about that because it can be 00:23:39.259 --> 00:23:41.880 very deceptive but it could just be his lesson 00:23:41.880 --> 00:23:44.640 that's why this could have happened I can move 00:23:44.640 --> 00:23:48.799 on nothing's changed in my life um and what he's 00:23:48.799 --> 00:23:52.019 done is really I mean if he apologized to me 00:23:52.019 --> 00:23:56.619 and he said I I've considered what i said and 00:23:56.619 --> 00:23:59.460 i would be open to a discussion about moving 00:23:59.460 --> 00:24:03.000 on i mean i don't need to end this um part of 00:24:03.000 --> 00:24:06.039 me thinks that this is so who he revealed himself 00:24:06.039 --> 00:24:09.140 to be was right under the surface it was right 00:24:09.140 --> 00:24:11.619 there and that wasn't who i met when i saw him 00:24:11.619 --> 00:24:13.900 i wouldn't have said it was really bitchy nasty 00:24:13.900 --> 00:24:17.259 side to him so again it's all i've got all these 00:24:17.259 --> 00:24:19.900 thoughts mulling around nothing's fully settled 00:24:19.900 --> 00:24:22.759 yet i just want to check my own ego here make 00:24:22.759 --> 00:24:24.829 sure that i handle this in a way because I don't 00:24:24.829 --> 00:24:27.390 want to have to redo this situation and then 00:24:27.390 --> 00:24:30.269 maybe I'll apologize for whatever I believe my 00:24:30.269 --> 00:24:33.910 part in it is but you know again producing poetry 00:24:33.910 --> 00:24:36.309 producing anything you can't use a first draft 00:24:36.309 --> 00:24:38.210 it doesn't you just don't do that no publisher 00:24:38.210 --> 00:24:41.369 would take that on so we'll see yeah I think 00:24:41.369 --> 00:24:43.869 the other bless the mess the other part of it 00:24:43.869 --> 00:24:46.950 is you know this is the libertarian part of me 00:24:46.950 --> 00:24:50.589 coming I view it I view all transactions between 00:24:50.589 --> 00:24:56.099 adults as voluntary and consensual So even you 00:24:56.099 --> 00:24:58.099 sitting here in my studio and us talking about 00:24:58.099 --> 00:25:02.680 this is based on voluntarism. You're voluntarily 00:25:02.680 --> 00:25:06.259 here. I'm voluntarily here. It's consensual because 00:25:06.259 --> 00:25:09.599 I didn't force you. You didn't force me. I'm 00:25:09.599 --> 00:25:11.819 here because I love you and I want to promote 00:25:11.819 --> 00:25:14.519 what you have to say because you have a lot of 00:25:14.519 --> 00:25:16.619 really cool things to say. And I think the world 00:25:16.619 --> 00:25:18.920 needs to hear Sarah Terry talk about these things. 00:25:20.329 --> 00:25:23.430 I'm doing this because I want to. The truth is 00:25:23.430 --> 00:25:27.930 all transactions are voluntary. And you'll say, 00:25:27.970 --> 00:25:30.450 well, what about contracts? Well, you don't have 00:25:30.450 --> 00:25:33.150 to sign a contract. If you sign the contract, 00:25:33.309 --> 00:25:36.589 it's an agreement. So this harkens back to this. 00:25:36.710 --> 00:25:41.430 Do you remember there's a guy named... uh golly 00:25:41.430 --> 00:25:44.210 what's his name he was a pro football player 00:25:44.210 --> 00:25:46.829 that was kneeling down Copernick oh yes Copernick 00:25:46.829 --> 00:25:49.750 okay Copernick something like that yes you're 00:25:49.750 --> 00:25:52.589 close okay so so you know people were getting 00:25:52.589 --> 00:25:55.569 their underwear in a bunch about this this young 00:25:55.569 --> 00:25:57.710 football what do you do kneel down during the 00:25:57.710 --> 00:26:00.960 anthem he would kneel down and during the national 00:26:00.960 --> 00:26:03.920 anthem and so this was like a big discussion 00:26:03.920 --> 00:26:06.460 with a lot of people like my my brothers are 00:26:06.460 --> 00:26:09.079 like you know f him yeah my husband was like 00:26:09.079 --> 00:26:11.619 it was like f him kneeling for the you know but 00:26:11.619 --> 00:26:13.380 here's the libertarian part of me saying okay 00:26:13.380 --> 00:26:17.240 first of all there's a lot of us that are like 00:26:17.240 --> 00:26:19.579 not okay with the pledge of allegiance like it's 00:26:19.579 --> 00:26:24.000 like i'm pledge allegiance to the flag well what 00:26:24.000 --> 00:26:26.799 is a flag and what how right it's deep if i pledge 00:26:26.799 --> 00:26:29.600 like i can see a pledge allegiance to a Yeah, 00:26:29.600 --> 00:26:32.000 that's what we have to do in assembly every morning. 00:26:32.119 --> 00:26:33.559 But I'm pledging to a flag. So now we have to 00:26:33.559 --> 00:26:34.839 have this. Yes, that's interesting. We have to 00:26:34.839 --> 00:26:36.619 have this discussion about what is the flag and 00:26:36.619 --> 00:26:38.859 who owns it. And what does that represent? Whose 00:26:38.859 --> 00:26:40.880 colours are those? So, you know, those are different 00:26:40.880 --> 00:26:43.619 conversations. But let's just pretend that the 00:26:43.619 --> 00:26:46.279 flag is supposed to be like these American ideals. 00:26:46.619 --> 00:26:49.279 And the idea, I respect what they're saying. 00:26:49.319 --> 00:26:50.940 It's like, if you're kneeling in front of the 00:26:50.940 --> 00:26:52.799 flag, you're not standing. Therefore, you're 00:26:52.799 --> 00:26:54.799 a turncoat. Not a patriot. You're not a patriot. 00:26:55.319 --> 00:26:58.220 It's like, okay, first of all, I'm a veteran. 00:26:58.759 --> 00:27:02.900 And I approve this message. If Colin, I think 00:27:02.900 --> 00:27:04.920 his name's Kopernik. I think it's something like 00:27:04.920 --> 00:27:07.299 that. No, you're close. Kapanak, I thought. Yeah, 00:27:07.299 --> 00:27:10.779 whatever. Somebody will correct us, but maybe 00:27:10.779 --> 00:27:11.920 we'll get him on the show and he can tell us. 00:27:11.920 --> 00:27:14.240 We'll ask him. We'll ask him. But let's think 00:27:14.240 --> 00:27:17.920 this through, okay? If everything is a consensual 00:27:17.920 --> 00:27:20.779 agreement among consenting adults, I asked my 00:27:20.779 --> 00:27:22.660 brother, I said, okay, you're getting your underwear 00:27:22.660 --> 00:27:25.140 all bunched up about this person you don't know 00:27:25.140 --> 00:27:28.099 anything about. Have you seen his contract? Have 00:27:28.099 --> 00:27:29.819 you had a discussion with the owners of the football 00:27:29.819 --> 00:27:33.440 team? Was it part of his contract where he had 00:27:33.440 --> 00:27:36.500 to stand up for the Pledge of Allegiance? Was 00:27:36.500 --> 00:27:38.279 it part of his contract? Was it part of his agreement? 00:27:39.619 --> 00:27:43.630 If not, like if he said... I wonder if it was. 00:27:43.730 --> 00:27:46.869 If he signed this multi -million dollar contract. 00:27:47.390 --> 00:27:49.250 Maybe they didn't address that part. Maybe it 00:27:49.250 --> 00:27:51.589 was just assumed that he would do that. Well, 00:27:51.609 --> 00:27:54.130 an assumption in a contract doesn't exist, right? 00:27:54.430 --> 00:27:57.450 Do you defend his right to do that? I do. Yeah. 00:27:57.900 --> 00:28:00.119 Because it didn't worry me one way or the other. 00:28:00.240 --> 00:28:02.680 I knew I thought this is going to be bad for 00:28:02.680 --> 00:28:04.420 you because you could. I mean, my husband was 00:28:04.420 --> 00:28:06.339 like, you know, what a dirtbag for doing that. 00:28:06.440 --> 00:28:08.480 So I wondered how that was going to play out 00:28:08.480 --> 00:28:10.000 for him. But he obviously found it necessary 00:28:10.000 --> 00:28:12.839 because he had his reasoning. He didn't just 00:28:12.839 --> 00:28:14.880 not do. I mean, he considered that, obviously. 00:28:15.019 --> 00:28:17.160 Well, and I don't know the guy. Like, I don't 00:28:17.160 --> 00:28:19.019 know his family life. I don't I really don't 00:28:19.019 --> 00:28:21.299 even know his name. So let's be truthful. But 00:28:21.299 --> 00:28:23.559 but just in terms of backing away and saying, 00:28:23.680 --> 00:28:27.420 OK, from a libertarian standpoint. Did he hurt 00:28:27.420 --> 00:28:31.079 anybody? Is anybody bleeding? No. No. Did he 00:28:31.079 --> 00:28:33.660 cause any harm? Did he lie, cheat, steal? No. 00:28:33.799 --> 00:28:36.339 Did he break a contract? Well, that's the question. 00:28:36.359 --> 00:28:38.890 I don't know. And if he did, it's none of your 00:28:38.890 --> 00:28:41.309 business really anyway. I mean, it's like... 00:28:41.309 --> 00:28:42.970 It's a contract between the team's owner. But 00:28:42.970 --> 00:28:45.349 people really like to have an opinion about something 00:28:45.349 --> 00:28:47.529 like that. It's just, it doesn't enter... I just 00:28:47.529 --> 00:28:49.809 couldn't care too much. I've got so many things 00:28:49.809 --> 00:28:52.609 I think about. That's your choice, your life. 00:28:52.890 --> 00:28:55.990 I do pledge allegiance. I love this country. 00:28:56.049 --> 00:28:58.089 I do too. I'm so happy to be a citizen of this 00:28:58.089 --> 00:29:00.009 country. I love this country too. I mean, I have 00:29:00.009 --> 00:29:03.230 my hand on my heart and so... But I don't hate 00:29:03.230 --> 00:29:05.380 him for not being like me. The reason I brought 00:29:05.380 --> 00:29:08.599 this pro football player up is because you've 00:29:08.599 --> 00:29:11.380 got this poet in you that had some sort of an 00:29:11.380 --> 00:29:14.059 agreement. Yes. And I don't know if it was written. 00:29:14.140 --> 00:29:16.759 No, it wasn't. It was just informal. Like yours 00:29:16.759 --> 00:29:19.519 and mine. Was his agreement with you that you 00:29:19.519 --> 00:29:22.440 were going to edit his stuff or was his agreement? 00:29:23.079 --> 00:29:26.480 Was his expectation of you... No, because I said 00:29:26.480 --> 00:29:28.359 to him, I said, you should have told me this 00:29:28.359 --> 00:29:30.740 out the gate, that you wanted everything on first 00:29:30.740 --> 00:29:32.799 draft, everything that you wrote has to be first 00:29:32.799 --> 00:29:34.660 draft. Had he have said that, there wouldn't 00:29:34.660 --> 00:29:36.660 have been an agreement because you can't... Things 00:29:36.660 --> 00:29:39.420 have to be developed and teased and worked. You 00:29:39.420 --> 00:29:41.579 have to read them out and you've got to be really 00:29:41.579 --> 00:29:44.539 critical. And I get, you see, I get his ego because 00:29:44.539 --> 00:29:47.380 I've worked with a lot of editors who have been 00:29:47.380 --> 00:29:50.240 brutal and it is a blow to your ego. I mean, 00:29:50.240 --> 00:29:52.519 it's really, really difficult to take that. But 00:29:52.519 --> 00:29:55.160 I've had editors that have really improved my 00:29:55.160 --> 00:29:58.279 work by kind of goading me, by saying, no, this 00:29:58.279 --> 00:30:00.240 is not good. You haven't said this and I've picked 00:30:00.240 --> 00:30:03.680 flaws. And that made me a better writer. But 00:30:03.680 --> 00:30:06.319 it is challenging for someone to say. because 00:30:06.319 --> 00:30:08.259 I think he thought this wasn't good enough as 00:30:08.259 --> 00:30:11.720 it was. And then when I had changed it and shrunk 00:30:11.720 --> 00:30:14.339 this and embellished that and changed vocabulary, 00:30:14.539 --> 00:30:17.200 I believe that I'd improved it. We said that 00:30:17.200 --> 00:30:18.660 we were going to do that, that I was going to 00:30:18.660 --> 00:30:21.599 edit it. But then when it actually came to reading, 00:30:21.680 --> 00:30:23.420 which he didn't read, he read the first one, 00:30:23.539 --> 00:30:26.839 it was just too much for him. But I get... Because 00:30:26.839 --> 00:30:28.980 my ego did that. I didn't react the way he did, 00:30:29.039 --> 00:30:31.299 but I was like, fuck this shit. Who does he think 00:30:31.299 --> 00:30:33.700 he is? I mean, it was really, it's very difficult 00:30:33.700 --> 00:30:35.819 because you take it personally and no one likes 00:30:35.819 --> 00:30:39.000 to be critiqued. But what I wanted him to see 00:30:39.000 --> 00:30:41.200 is that we'll take this poetry. And he was very 00:30:41.200 --> 00:30:43.559 good. His story arc was great. His themes were 00:30:43.559 --> 00:30:45.559 great. But it just needed work. But everything 00:30:45.559 --> 00:30:47.960 does. There's no author or poet that's published 00:30:47.960 --> 00:30:51.339 anything on the first draft context. So we didn't 00:30:51.339 --> 00:30:54.359 get that far with it. But again, I understand 00:30:54.359 --> 00:30:57.779 that that was a blow to him. And he saw it somehow 00:30:57.779 --> 00:31:00.480 as that he should have been able to keep these 00:31:00.480 --> 00:31:02.519 three poems that he wanted without them being 00:31:02.519 --> 00:31:05.240 edited because they were dear to his heart. But 00:31:05.240 --> 00:31:08.660 this is a business for me. If you want some vanity 00:31:08.660 --> 00:31:10.779 publishing, then you can just do that yourself. 00:31:11.039 --> 00:31:13.079 Just go do your own podcast. Just go do Kinko's 00:31:13.079 --> 00:31:15.759 or whatever. But this has to be really good poetry 00:31:15.759 --> 00:31:18.380 and everything has to be really explored to its 00:31:18.380 --> 00:31:22.319 best. And he didn't see that from that business 00:31:22.319 --> 00:31:25.240 side. He had much more of a sentimental play 00:31:25.240 --> 00:31:27.160 over that. But I get it. He's protective over 00:31:27.160 --> 00:31:29.660 his words. So I think some of this just boils 00:31:29.660 --> 00:31:32.799 down to, again, the communication model of managing 00:31:32.799 --> 00:31:36.799 expectations. You had certain expectations that 00:31:36.799 --> 00:31:39.440 you're established as this businesswoman. You're 00:31:39.440 --> 00:31:42.299 taking the high road and helping him advance 00:31:42.299 --> 00:31:45.140 himself. You have this belief structure about 00:31:45.140 --> 00:31:48.400 what your roles and responsibilities are. If 00:31:48.400 --> 00:31:51.359 I see any ego in this, it's you saying, well, 00:31:51.539 --> 00:31:54.339 these are my roles and responsibilities. Why 00:31:54.339 --> 00:31:57.839 don't you appreciate me for my knowledge? There's 00:31:57.839 --> 00:32:00.140 part of that there, but I'm saying it's legitimate 00:32:00.140 --> 00:32:03.740 because you are the real deal. On the creator 00:32:03.740 --> 00:32:08.200 side, creators are different people, right? And 00:32:08.200 --> 00:32:10.579 so he probably labored and labored and he's probably 00:32:10.579 --> 00:32:13.160 got God knows how many hours into this making 00:32:13.160 --> 00:32:16.700 it perfect. And without even looking at your 00:32:16.700 --> 00:32:20.960 edits, this is clearly an ego move because if 00:32:20.960 --> 00:32:23.779 you would have looked at the edits, thought about 00:32:23.779 --> 00:32:27.160 them, considered them and said, yeah, it's debt. 00:32:28.399 --> 00:32:30.720 I'm just going to keep mine. Then that would 00:32:30.720 --> 00:32:34.460 be a different conversation. You can have a conversation 00:32:34.460 --> 00:32:37.539 about it, but the fact that he didn't even look 00:32:37.539 --> 00:32:42.460 at the edits, that was really an unmet expectation 00:32:42.460 --> 00:32:46.579 because his expectation was he was going to go, 00:32:46.799 --> 00:32:48.099 he was going to give it to you, and that was 00:32:48.099 --> 00:32:51.119 going to flow. I think that he was stunned, he 00:32:51.119 --> 00:32:52.900 was surprised. Yeah, I think so. So I think there 00:32:52.900 --> 00:32:55.339 was an unmet expectation both ways. Both ways, 00:32:55.420 --> 00:32:59.430 yeah. Well, you thought he would maybe respond 00:32:59.430 --> 00:33:02.690 with this, thank you so much, because that's 00:33:02.690 --> 00:33:06.329 the way you would have responded. I'd like to 00:33:06.329 --> 00:33:09.289 think that I would have done. I want this to 00:33:09.289 --> 00:33:11.609 be the best version of it could be, which is 00:33:11.609 --> 00:33:14.069 an editor's job. He had this sentimental attachment 00:33:14.069 --> 00:33:17.230 to this being some type of channeled work. He 00:33:17.230 --> 00:33:19.210 said he got up at three in the morning and it 00:33:19.210 --> 00:33:21.930 was channeled from spirit. And I kind of get 00:33:21.930 --> 00:33:23.730 what that means because sometimes when I write, 00:33:23.789 --> 00:33:25.250 I'm like, well, where did that come from? It's 00:33:25.250 --> 00:33:27.710 kind of a weird, but so he wanted to keep this. 00:33:27.910 --> 00:33:30.190 I think he should have said this out the gate 00:33:30.190 --> 00:33:32.549 and then I could have made a better decision 00:33:32.549 --> 00:33:37.230 maybe. I'm going to sit on it. I just want to 00:33:37.230 --> 00:33:41.369 make sure that I understand what my part in this 00:33:41.369 --> 00:33:44.470 was. And whether I ever talk to him again, it's 00:33:44.470 --> 00:33:47.150 important that I don't take whatever that flaw 00:33:47.150 --> 00:33:49.549 and weakness was of me into another project in 00:33:49.549 --> 00:33:51.609 the future. So I have to see this as a learning 00:33:51.609 --> 00:33:53.910 curve. It's beautiful. I think you're in a good 00:33:53.910 --> 00:33:56.430 place. I know that there's some relationships 00:33:56.430 --> 00:34:00.569 I've had in my past where I totally did not transgress 00:34:00.569 --> 00:34:04.670 them, but they felt transgressed. What I've done 00:34:04.670 --> 00:34:07.390 in those circumstances, I would say, you know, 00:34:07.430 --> 00:34:10.510 I just wanted to let you know, and I usually 00:34:10.510 --> 00:34:12.730 write this out, so it's... Yes. It's just... 00:34:12.730 --> 00:34:15.550 It's thought about. They know that I really... 00:34:15.550 --> 00:34:18.369 And even handwrite with a note. Oh, okay. Just 00:34:18.369 --> 00:34:21.809 so that they can't... It's unambiguous. I usually 00:34:21.809 --> 00:34:24.510 just say, you know, I want to let you know that 00:34:24.510 --> 00:34:27.110 although we won't be working together, I still 00:34:27.110 --> 00:34:31.070 value you and I value what you're doing and I've 00:34:31.070 --> 00:34:33.639 appreciated the time we've spent together. And 00:34:33.639 --> 00:34:35.539 I personally want to apologize for any of my 00:34:35.539 --> 00:34:39.219 shortcomings, misgivings, misunderstandings about 00:34:39.219 --> 00:34:43.079 what your objectives are. I want to, even though 00:34:43.079 --> 00:34:44.980 you don't have to respond to this. You're going 00:34:44.980 --> 00:34:47.739 to write this for me. I love it. That was really 00:34:47.739 --> 00:34:52.079 well said. I've said it dozens of times. I love 00:34:52.079 --> 00:34:55.699 it. It's laid out really well. The idea is that, 00:34:55.780 --> 00:34:59.420 you know, where were you? I was expecting a lot. 00:34:59.539 --> 00:35:03.139 Where are we? Yeah. This empath, right? Yeah, 00:35:03.139 --> 00:35:04.579 this is broken now, yeah. But I want you to know 00:35:04.579 --> 00:35:07.260 moving forward that I'm a cheerleader for you. 00:35:07.300 --> 00:35:10.059 I love you and I want you to succeed. And I want 00:35:10.059 --> 00:35:13.199 you to, I'm asking for forgiveness for either 00:35:13.199 --> 00:35:15.519 things that I've done or things that I've failed 00:35:15.519 --> 00:35:18.119 to do. Just, I'm putting it out there. You don't 00:35:18.119 --> 00:35:20.719 even have to reply to this. Yeah. I'm doing it 00:35:20.719 --> 00:35:23.360 for me. I just, if I'm, if I could do something 00:35:23.360 --> 00:35:26.090 better in the future for somebody else. I'm going 00:35:26.090 --> 00:35:27.349 to try and do that. I'm going to try to do it. 00:35:27.389 --> 00:35:29.929 So nothing personal. I think the world of you 00:35:29.929 --> 00:35:32.070 and I want you to move forward. That would be 00:35:32.070 --> 00:35:33.809 a lie though, because I don't think the world 00:35:33.809 --> 00:35:35.630 for me. I think he's a nasty little shit. That's 00:35:35.630 --> 00:35:37.929 what my ego says, right? The way that you spoke 00:35:37.929 --> 00:35:41.610 to me, it's like, I've got these two voices. 00:35:41.610 --> 00:35:43.130 Well, I mean, you can adjust, but again, that's... 00:35:44.239 --> 00:35:46.340 That's the difference because I don't address... 00:35:46.340 --> 00:35:49.679 So have you been insulted and called a nasty 00:35:49.679 --> 00:35:55.000 bitch and you still would have that nice benevolent 00:35:55.000 --> 00:35:57.360 response? I do because ultimately we're called 00:35:57.360 --> 00:36:00.900 to be the light. We're just the light. So I would 00:36:00.900 --> 00:36:03.760 respond to the behavior. His behavior is this 00:36:03.760 --> 00:36:06.519 lashing out. And so how do you respond to that? 00:36:06.579 --> 00:36:08.519 You just say, I understand you're really upset 00:36:08.519 --> 00:36:11.380 with me and that was never my intention. Yeah. 00:36:11.420 --> 00:36:14.039 So you can address the behavior, but not call 00:36:14.039 --> 00:36:17.760 him a name or. No. Just say. I wouldn't. I mean, 00:36:17.780 --> 00:36:19.500 I have to you on the podcast. I just called him 00:36:19.500 --> 00:36:22.199 a nasty little shit. I know, right? Strike that 00:36:22.199 --> 00:36:24.199 from the record. No, but you know, but the truth 00:36:24.199 --> 00:36:26.980 is, you know, he behaved like a nasty little 00:36:26.980 --> 00:36:30.420 shit. Yeah. So a lot of times my, again, this 00:36:30.420 --> 00:36:32.920 goes back to when my boys were young. It's like, 00:36:32.960 --> 00:36:36.760 Johnny's a stupid idiot. No, no, no. He's an 00:36:36.760 --> 00:36:40.039 amazing young boy. He's awesome. He's beautiful. 00:36:40.079 --> 00:36:42.820 He's powerful. He's a creator. He's behaving 00:36:42.820 --> 00:36:46.340 like a stupid idiot. So you take it away from 00:36:46.340 --> 00:36:49.079 it being the person. It's not the person. I'm 00:36:49.079 --> 00:36:50.920 glad that we had this conversation because it 00:36:50.920 --> 00:36:52.559 is a behavior thing. And if you can make that 00:36:52.559 --> 00:36:55.099 distinction, you can address it correctly. Yeah. 00:36:55.139 --> 00:36:57.019 So that's all I just do is separate the behavior 00:36:57.019 --> 00:37:01.519 from the actual character. And I apologize even 00:37:01.519 --> 00:37:05.360 for stuff that it's not even my fault. I still 00:37:05.360 --> 00:37:07.460 put it out there because I want to clear that. 00:37:07.659 --> 00:37:09.340 Yes, that's how I feel. I just want to clear 00:37:09.340 --> 00:37:12.719 it. You just want to purify all this rubble that's 00:37:12.719 --> 00:37:17.019 left lying around. Smudging. So, well, thank 00:37:17.019 --> 00:37:18.539 you for taking me down this journey. It's been 00:37:18.539 --> 00:37:20.760 lovely. Thank you for your advice. I liked it. 00:37:20.960 --> 00:37:22.360 It's not advice. I'm just telling you what I 00:37:22.360 --> 00:37:25.059 do. Well, yes, not advice, but perspective. Yeah. 00:37:25.420 --> 00:37:28.059 And the next podcast, I'll let you know if I 00:37:28.059 --> 00:37:30.679 have made some headway with it. I would love 00:37:30.679 --> 00:37:32.179 to know. But I'm going to rest on it for a few 00:37:32.179 --> 00:37:34.079 days. If it's important to you. Yeah. Well, it's 00:37:34.079 --> 00:37:36.380 unfinished business for me. It doesn't feel finished 00:37:36.380 --> 00:37:38.719 to me, but that's because I have to kind of examine 00:37:38.719 --> 00:37:41.139 myself a bit. So I'll see what I come up with. 00:37:41.219 --> 00:37:43.739 Well, some of the strongest relationships. Um, 00:37:43.880 --> 00:37:46.039 that I have in my life right now are the ones 00:37:46.039 --> 00:37:49.380 where I, where I, even when I, they know, and 00:37:49.380 --> 00:37:51.139 you, you know, and he knows that you were not 00:37:51.139 --> 00:37:53.199 the one that was wrong. But if you take the high 00:37:53.199 --> 00:37:56.199 road and you just tuck it, tuck your ego away, 00:37:56.320 --> 00:37:59.699 not, not, it's not dishonoring your ego. It's 00:37:59.699 --> 00:38:01.840 actually. Restraint harnessing it. It's your, 00:38:01.920 --> 00:38:05.880 your, your transmuting it. You're transmuting 00:38:05.880 --> 00:38:10.449 your, your ego from a physical self to a. glowing 00:38:10.449 --> 00:38:12.789 spiritual self you're merging you're emerging 00:38:12.789 --> 00:38:15.090 and you're transmuting from the 3d to the 5d 00:38:15.090 --> 00:38:18.550 6 7 8 12d space where you're just this multi 00:38:18.550 --> 00:38:22.809 yeah multi -energetic form of light and you're 00:38:22.809 --> 00:38:25.070 responding with just perfect beautiful divine 00:38:25.070 --> 00:38:28.750 peaceful sovereignty and you're just seeing because 00:38:28.750 --> 00:38:31.889 you know what i can go i can go outside and i 00:38:31.889 --> 00:38:34.429 can look at the sun in the sky and i can just 00:38:34.429 --> 00:38:37.550 put out All of the cuss words, all of the darkness, 00:38:37.650 --> 00:38:41.489 I could just blast it with darkness and the light 00:38:41.489 --> 00:38:43.769 doesn't care. No, it's not moved. The light's 00:38:43.769 --> 00:38:47.829 going to go, I'm the light, I'm shining. I understand 00:38:47.829 --> 00:38:50.110 that you're going through some roughness and 00:38:50.110 --> 00:38:51.769 I'm okay with that, but I'm still going to be 00:38:51.769 --> 00:38:55.269 the light. All good. Well, thank you, darling. 00:38:55.449 --> 00:38:57.610 That was a good one. Well, I never know what 00:38:57.610 --> 00:38:59.929 to expect, but this is cool. So anyway, so Sarah, 00:39:00.050 --> 00:39:02.840 let's wrap this up. How do people get a hold 00:39:02.840 --> 00:39:04.800 of you? I haven't hardly seen you. You're writing 00:39:04.800 --> 00:39:06.340 your new book. Tell me about your new book. Yes, 00:39:06.380 --> 00:39:08.960 so I have three books coming out on the next 00:39:08.960 --> 00:39:10.880 podcast. Not just one book, folks, three books. 00:39:11.679 --> 00:39:13.599 Two of them are 95 % done. You're such an underachiever. 00:39:14.179 --> 00:39:16.599 Well, my novel is the one that I really got to 00:39:16.599 --> 00:39:18.400 get. That's why I've been having my head down, 00:39:18.480 --> 00:39:20.699 because I have book two of The Star Side Prophecy, 00:39:20.699 --> 00:39:22.659 and there's going to be three. Did I tell you 00:39:22.659 --> 00:39:24.539 that you're in book three, just conceptually? 00:39:24.579 --> 00:39:27.300 I know. Isn't that going to be fun? So you have 00:39:27.300 --> 00:39:31.570 a pilot in you? Am I a pilot? No. Do I have wings? 00:39:31.789 --> 00:39:34.369 Oh, you're an angel, darling. Yeah, you'll have 00:39:34.369 --> 00:39:36.369 beautiful wings. Okay, as long as I have wings. 00:39:36.429 --> 00:39:41.010 Oh, glowing, glowing. Okay, so it's Sarah Tirri 00:39:41.010 --> 00:39:45.230 at gmail .com. If you want to send me an email, 00:39:45.309 --> 00:39:47.650 ask me any questions, that's good. And Amazon 00:39:47.650 --> 00:39:49.849 is where you can buy my books. We have The Mirror 00:39:49.849 --> 00:39:53.949 World. The Mirror World is likening our existence 00:39:53.949 --> 00:39:57.010 to a virtual reality game. And we're living in 00:39:57.010 --> 00:39:58.969 a matrix. And I talk you through that. That's 00:39:58.969 --> 00:40:01.090 a journal. It's 8 ,000 words. You can read that 00:40:01.090 --> 00:40:04.050 in about 40 minutes. And that, I wrote that for 00:40:04.050 --> 00:40:06.510 myself because I needed to hear it. And then 00:40:06.510 --> 00:40:08.820 Is This the Best God Could Do? polemic it's a 00:40:08.820 --> 00:40:11.539 critique of christianity and then the star side 00:40:11.539 --> 00:40:14.920 prophecy that's my sci -fi fantasy novel so they're 00:40:14.920 --> 00:40:18.820 all available on amazon and um get in touch you 00:40:18.820 --> 00:40:21.300 can always get in touch on my blog SarahTirri.com 00:40:21.300 --> 00:40:23.719 and you can leave me a message there i'd 00:40:23.719 --> 00:40:25.820 love to hear from you i love having you here 00:40:25.820 --> 00:40:42.420 thank you darling have a good week okay Soul 00:40:42.420 --> 00:40:45.960 Decodes, a feature presentation, airs every Friday 00:40:45.960 --> 00:40:56.260 on the Earth Angel Media Network. This episode 00:40:56.260 --> 00:40:58.639 of Soul Decodes is sponsored and produced by 00:40:58.639 --> 00:41:01.599 Live Pure. Optimize your life by taking your 00:41:01.599 --> 00:41:04.320 health to the next level. 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