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Enjoy the show. Welcome to Soul Decodes. Join
us as we wander off the path to find the ideas
that fascinate. We talk about spirituality, the
mind, the ego, wellness and hidden history with
tips, travels and tales. Charms for a better
life. And we're on the air. Sarah Thierry, welcome
to the Treehouse. Thank you, darling. Lovely
to be here. Isn't this weather gorgeous? It's
absolutely divine and getting better. Divine
and getting better. So welcome, everybody. My
name is Dr. Tia Jolie Phillips, and I'm the co
-hostess. I want to introduce our amazing hostess.
She's Sarah Tirri. She's an author. For me,
she's definitely a great friend. But she's an
entrepreneur. She gives charitably. Every day
we have something else to talk about. Yes. And
every day I'm totally surprised. There's not
a day where we... Well, this one's going to be
about the ego. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness.
Well, I lost my ego a long time ago. I'm still
working on it. So for those of you who are surprised
with whatever our next episode is going to be
about, welcome, because I'm always surprised
as well. So this is Soul Decodes and this is
Sarah Thierry. Go ahead. Well, part of... decoding
the soul requires we inspect our ego and so let
me just let's so about 15 20 podcasts ago you
talked about the encounter you had with a band
member when you went to vegas and that you felt
that he needed to be replaced with a better vocalist
and then you had that whole ego encounter with
him so the similar thing happened to me last
week okay so it's kind of interesting So I'd
met this guy a few months ago, and I was going
to produce his poetry, publish his poetry in
an anthology, have him on the radio station recording
it, and then having him in a live event reading
it out loud. So I travelled to England, came
back, and then I got COVID. And so I started
working on it. It was last weekend, last Saturday.
And it was a lovely poem. I'm going to call him
John. His name's not John, but I'm going to refer
to him as John. It was a lovely poem of a death
going to... the afterlife meeting whoever you
need to meet and then coming back to the planet
again so I got his poem and quite a lot of it
needed developing it needed more vocabulary you
needed to change the way it was laid out because
there were too many words and I sent it back
to him this is for the review and he said he
didn't want anyone to touch the words. It had
to be the way he originally said it had to be.
And it was really good, but it wasn't everything
it could be. And he hadn't read my edit either.
He just said he wasn't going to change it. So
three hours later, I email him back and I said,
I don't think we're a good fit because coming
right out the gate, and I thought it was quite
demanding. I thought it was unreasonable. And
no one goes on your first draft. I mean, when
you're a writer, you do so many drafts. But I
said it very, very politely. And I told him my
reasons why. And I said, you're a great guy and
please call in if you get the chance. He texted
me back and it was about midnight and I'd woken
up at midnight and I saw his, it was an email,
and he was really worried about me plagiarising
his poems. And he didn't call me Sarah, he called
me Mrs. Thierry, which was strange. And he said
he was really concerned that either I'll plagiarise
them or, he didn't accuse me of it. He said,
I want it to be understood that you can't use
these poems, you can't publish them under a pseudonym.
And I would just never take someone else's work
and do that. Never crossed your mind. Oh, and
I was just like really indignant. So I sent him
an email back and I said, I'm not accustomed
to being insulted in this way, but please, I
understand that you're, what was the word I used?
I can't quite remember, but I understood his
agitation. I said, please rest assured, I would
never use your poetry and masquerade it as my
own in my name or any other name. And then I
sent that back. And then the following day, he
sent me another email. And that was when you're
a selfish bitch. You got my hopes up and you've
dashed my hopes. I think you're a crappy writer.
I've thrown your books in the trash. And it was
just very, very mean and spiteful. And I didn't
respond to that one because now I'm just like,
I can't, I just can't pull myself into that low
grade energy. But then now I have to look at
my own ego in this, not just his ego. That's
very obvious. So I'm saying to myself, but I'm
not sure whether this is ego or soul. I'm glad
I found out early who he was. Because that was
unbelievable, that reaction. And then part of
me feels that I did get his hopes up and I would
have done everything that I said I was going
to do. So he probably did have his hopes dashed.
And I feel like I should have compassion about
that because that's not a nice feeling, is it?
In his degree of inflexibility and an unwillingness
to... If I'm going to publish an anthology, it
has to be the best it can be. I wouldn't want
to put crap out there. And I'm not saying it
was crap. Well, I want you to do mine then. I'll
do it. Don't you call me a selfish bitch in the
middle of the night? So I'm wrestling with my
own... Not with you in front of me. In your presence,
I wouldn't. Just in your dreams. Okay, so it's
been a very uncomfortable week. That's like not
okay, but you're still smiling. Yes, I want to
make sure because I believe that... When you
have things that happen in your life like this,
they happen for a reason. And I feel that there's
unfinished business. And I feel that we'll come
back and we'll have to deal with this again.
You can't leave this planet if you're hoping
to graduate and have this all left open like
that. So I'm feeling, but I have to worry about
my own ego coming in because my own ego is like,
fuck this shit. You were really rude and really
nasty and I don't want anything to do with you.
And that's my ego's position. And I can hear
it. It's as clear. day. I've got this other voice
saying, well, maybe you should apologize for,
I could have let him down. I mean, I was quite
direct and I'm quite a direct person. Maybe I
could have let him down a little more softly.
Maybe I could have negotiated with him a bit.
So I feel that maybe I should say to him, I'm
sorry for how I handled it. It's a difficult
one. There's so many things to unpack here. Yeah.
But, but so let me ask you this, like looking
back, this is what been a few days now. All right.
Looking back at your intuitive level, is there
anything major that you would feel like you should
do differently? This is a question I always ask
my children when they were growing up. Would
you do something different? Now that it's in
your rearview mirror, would you do something
different? I think if I take a lesson from it,
it would be... I should have realised how disappointed
he was going to be because we talked about it
and he'd got his hopes up. Had I have anticipated
that, I felt that I could have said to him, listen,
I'm not prepared to publish a first draft, but
not just end it. But when he said, I'm not going
to read your edit and I'm not changing any of
the words in it. At that point, I realised I
couldn't work with someone like that. That would
be very difficult. And I'm financing this whole
project. You are? Yes. So and I knew that I couldn't
work with that. So I'm OK with my decision. And
then when he came out and just displayed this
part of his character, I'm actually quite pleased
that it just happened early on. But I just have
to I just want to make sure that my. Because
it could be that I could get in touch with him
in a couple of weeks and then just say, this
is how I feel about it. I mean, Tony, my husband,
would say, don't touch it with a barge pole.
Leave it in the rearview mirror. But I don't
want this. But I sometimes worry that it's an
unfinished end that will require that I address
this either now. And I don't want to have to
fucking be reborn to deal with this little clown.
Yeah, sure. This thing is now worth coming back
for. Can we have a discussion about this? Yes,
please. First of all, I get the whole thing about
the ego and it's difficult sometimes. That's
why I always ask, like when my only daughter
was growing up, she was having a hard time with
friendships and it wasn't, part of it was her,
but part of it was the other kids too. Like you
have to find that balance because everything's
about relationships and she was really in a dark
spot. And I asked her, I said, sweetheart, how
would you like to have 10 friends? exactly like
you and she said i would love that and and i
said so that's a good answer tony would love
that too but that's a really genuine question
and it's a genuine answer yes sure because it's
like okay so from your perspective it's really
not a it's not you like if you know in your heart
that you want 10 friends just like you then we
we have to discuss that yes because that's either
you're living in some fantasy world well it would
be easy for her to have friends like her then
because she could relate to them having friends
that are not like you it's harder to work that
out as a kid isn't it right so it's a very honest
answer but it's an honest answer i'd love to
have friends okay so let's have a conversation
about what transacted there and then we have
is this the behavior that you would have elicited
and i like to separate things a lot of times
you know you talk in terms of your ego self and
your other self. As a holistic practitioner,
I see them all as one. I want them to work as
one. I don't want to be ego dominant though.
I don't want to come down on him so hard because
he's a fellow human being. I mean, he was really
rude to me, but I just want to make sure my reaction
isn't totally ego dominant because I do have
a very well -structured ego. But that works for
me. I'm a strong person and I like that. And
no one's going to treat me like a doormat. And
that happened as a result of my childhood. At
some point, I must have said, I'm gonna you know
strengthen myself here but I just but you're
seeing it as and I believe that ego and higher
mind and ego there should be working as one cohesive
beautiful mechanism yeah so I don't want to strike
out on the ego side with it at the balance I
don't I don't think you need to worry about that
you're you're amazing I know you're tending to
look at things right now from a position of you
know ego versus non -ego or ego versus higher
mind esoteric whatever yeah but What I've tended
to do over my life, like especially this past
30 years, is kind of instead of separating it
that way, separate it. First of all, I look at
everybody as divine, perfect soul. This is not
a character thing. I don't look at them as deficient
as a character, as a soulful character in any
regard. So I separate them more along the lines
of character versus behavior. Right. And I taught
my children that too. Like I never call, like
I would never call you. It's like, Sarah, you're
a stupid idiot. Like I would never say you're,
you know, anything like that. I would say, Sarah,
you're a beautiful, you're such a beautiful friend.
And, you know, I just love virtually everything
about you. I do have questions about your behavior
and I'm trying to resolve this in my brain. Is
this something we can talk about? Right. Right.
So it's like. I'm not calling you a name. I'm
not challenging your ego. I'm not challenging
you. Yeah, you've selected your words very carefully.
But I'm very, very, like almost once a week,
I'm talking to people about their behaviors.
But it's framed. You phrased it well. It's framed
up in this position of, look, I love you and
I adore you. I think you're amazing. A lot of
times I love those people more than they love
themselves. But I still have to address the behavior,
so I try to keep them separate. As recently as
this week, somebody tried to pull me into their
drama. There's a husband and a wife. I'm friends
with both of them. Is this the one where the
husband's... He's the one that he has health
issues. Nope. I got plenty of those though. Yeah.
Okay. But this is just a husband and wife. I
mean, he does have health issues. So the answer
is yes, but I don't know if it's the same one
you're talking about. Plus I can't talk about
it anyway. But anyway, so there's husband and
wife, they're going through a divorce. They're,
it's one of those nasty divorces and it doesn't
have to be that way, but each one of them wants
me and my wife to be pulled into their camp.
Yeah. But we've told them for six months now,
look, We love you both. We honor you both. You're
both going through some crap. We're not going
to take sides. Yeah. We're just not going to
do it. Do you privately understand who's the
one causing it and who's the one that's a victim
or are they both as bad as each other? Oh, they're
both psycho. They're both nuts. They're both.
But you know, in truthfulness, that's a transient
thing. Like being psycho. is what it is. It's
like, I don't, to me, that's not a negative thing.
Cause I know when I went through my divorce,
like 29 years ago, I was psycho, but it was,
it was reactionary. It's like, Holy crap. Cause
you know, I didn't get into a, I didn't get married
to get unmarried. Like my intent was to stand
there forever and ever. Amen. Yeah. I went to
marriage counseling by myself for a year. And
finally the counselor was like, you know, I think
we're as far as we can go with you, so this is
not going to work with one of you. I just bring
that up. I think that when there's circumstances,
there's chances for all of us to be psycho. When
you said to this couple, we're not going to take
size and we don't want to get involved, were
they okay with that? They understood your need
to be impartial? Well, to me, I don't care if
they're okay or not. No, but were they? I don't
think so, because I think both of them loved
Robin and me. They both wanted us. To both be
in their camp. Because it's a logical fallacy
called black or white. And the idea is that,
well, if you're friends with Sarah, you can't
be friends with Tia Jolie. Like it's one or the
other. It's a logical fallacy. And it's not black
or white. And I think when people are in ego
dramas, which is what a divorce is, then it's
quite tempting to want to have someone on your
side, isn't it? You get a load of people rallying
around after you. It strengthens your own ego
and your own decision making. I think that's
what people want. I've been involved in a couple
of those situations years ago. I got this gay
couple at British Airways. I won't mention their
names. I loved them. But they had marital problems
and I was drawn into it. it on both sides and
they ended up staying together but because I'd
been drawn in then I was rejected and it was
absolutely tragic it was awful and I thought
you know what fuck that that's never going to
happen again and so I never got there it was
that I came dreadfully close to that with a family
member I won't say which one or if it's a primary
or secondary family member but somebody in my
family they were having marital problems And
each one of them, independent of each other,
confided in me. And I didn't really say anything,
didn't really take sides. But for each of them,
I gave them private, individual consult. And
my consult's always about finding a space for
grace. You know, you fell in love with each other
at some point in time. But when they gave me
negative about each other, and I talked about
that to them individually, when they ended up
getting back together, I was like, well, wait
a minute. Yeah. I've tried to be a friend to
both of you and walk the line. I didn't initiate
anything. All I did was reflected back what they
gave me. And then all of a sudden, I almost got
in that pinch. So I stopped. It's like Robin
and I are the same way. We're like, we love all
y 'all. If there's something I can do for you,
I will help. Or for him, I will help. We're here
to serve you. We're here to help you. But we're
not doormats. Right. You don't get to wipe your
feet on us and go somewhere else. Well, what
happened was a friend, another mutual friend
of theirs sent me this, whatever. I'm not a Facebook
person. I don't even read this stuff. She's like,
your name was on this post. And I'm like, so?
It's like one of them was trying to pull me into
their camp on this thing. You know, it basically
said, you know, Dr. Phillips and, you know, a
20 year Air Force captain is, you know, pretty
much on my side on this. And that was not true.
No. That was bearing false witness because I
never said that. I don't take sides. So now I
get sucked in. So the person that referred this,
she's like, what are you going to do about this?
I said, nothing. I said, I'm going to address
the behavior. I still love them both exactly
where they are. This behavior, I'll address the
behavior, which I haven't done yet. This is just
two days ago. hey, what is this all about? Like,
I told you I don't take sides, but this thing
you put out there to the world on Facebook. Yeah.
It's distortion. This is a distortion of the
truth. I'm not on your camp. I'm not on hers.
I love you both equally. So I can see where...
And what do you guess her answer is going to
be? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. Or
will she defend that position? Well, that was
the guy. A guy, okay. But what's interesting
is I did... communicate to the girl. And I said,
just so you know, my position and Robin's is
that we don't take sides. And because they're
both in this divorce, it's a psychotic situation.
Her answer was totally inappropriate. I just
have to back away. So her response to you was
inappropriate. Yeah. Yeah. And so now. So now
they're both acting inappropriately. But you
know what? But, you know, I can. I know. This
is so difficult because all you can really do
is just, you know. Well, pull back to start with.
Well, yeah. I told Rob and I said, I can only
do my best. Yeah. When the dust settles. Yes.
And that's the thing. When there's chaos and
they're in the mix, sometimes all you can do
is just be quiet. And I find myself doing that
and just literally saying, like whenever I feel
like my ego wants to engage, I just simply say.
First of all, do I need to respond? No. Yes.
It's so petty. Yeah. It's like fifth grade. Except
for there's thousands of dollars involved. Yeah.
So that takes it from fifth grade times 10. It's
still fifth grade times 10. Something at stake.
This is a good discussion because I think everybody
listening to this has probably either been through
this garbage. But I'm not negative on divorce.
I think that. I mean, I've been there. Sometimes
you have to go through that. Well, maybe it was
in your life plan. Maybe you have a marriage
and you think it's for life because you romanticize
that. You feel initially it should be. But maybe
because if your first marriage had stayed intact,
you wouldn't have met Robin. So there was no
right or wrong about that. You had whatever you
needed to work out, and so did she, and then
you move on. It doesn't have to be for life.
We want it to be for life. life and we say that
for better or worse rich or poor and we want
that and that's a romantic notion but sometimes
it's not in our life plan and even even if even
as I was because I ended up being the one that
filed for a divorce even though I was against
everything I did I just realized it's just not
going to work yeah but even after that happened
I continued to give and give and I primarily
wanted my ex to finally find happiness even if
it's not with me that's nice right I just And,
you know, the first few years following a divorce
is, you know, it's a shit sandwich. I mean, there's
nothing getting around it, especially with kids
involved. But ultimately, you know, when I was
going through my divorce, my ex was just all
negative, negative to all of our friends, trying
to pull friends their way. But the true friends,
like I had two friends, both of them happened
to be fellow military pilots. I never defended
myself. I never... Called her bad names or anything.
I was just always there. And I just took a deep
breath. Whenever the negative happened, I backed
away from it. And one of my friends came up,
military. We all have call signs. His name was
Knocker. Knocker and Cujo, two different pilots.
But Knocker came up and said, you know, he called
me my call sign, which is dealer. And he says,
dealer, I hear everything that's going on. and
he says i don't see it like i hear the the noise
but i don't see it i don't perceive it i don't
my intuition himself with it and he looked and
he it was it was the first honest answer i had
from anybody even my own siblings were discarding
me and i said and i cried i cried i said knocker
i said that's nice you're the first one to see
through all this i'm not gonna throw my Soon
to be under the bus. That was nice of him to
be spiritually mature as well. Yeah, and he's
a minister. Believe it or not, he's like a Baptist
minister, which blew me away because I don't
typically get there from Baptist ministers. They're
usually, not usually, but the ones I've experienced
have been not that. Yes, so he was an anomaly.
So he was like this total anomaly as Baptist
ministers go. So, you know, you can't take one
situation and judge all of them. My experience
is that those things are the divorce stuff is
best left unchecked. Sadly, this friend that
was doing the poetry and you had this agreement,
that's a divorce. Yeah. I mean, it really is.
And especially for you, you know, you're always
so kind with your spending your money and investing
in other people. Even now you brought some beautiful
vegan, you know, treats for us. You know, you're
always so kind and you're always giving to other
people. Intuitively, I just say you don't deserve
this. Yeah, I mean, I don't feel like a victim
in it at all. I mean, I might never even talk
to this guy again. And then when I make that
decision, I'll flush him from my mind and I'll
just put that down to a life lesson. Part of
me said, well, maybe this is his lesson because
had he have handled this, had he have been more
reasonable, and then when he's coming out and
then just calling me all these unnecessary names,
maybe this is set up that he's got something
to work on, that he needs to realise that you've
really sabotaged yourself here because I was
here for you and we could have done this. But
then I worry, is that my ego is saying that?
Because your ego, it can be very, very tricky.
So is this his lesson in life? he going to have
to work this out or is that my ego saying that
because I worry about that because it can be
very deceptive but it could just be his lesson
that's why this could have happened I can move
on nothing's changed in my life um and what he's
done is really I mean if he apologized to me
and he said I I've considered what i said and
i would be open to a discussion about moving
on i mean i don't need to end this um part of
me thinks that this is so who he revealed himself
to be was right under the surface it was right
there and that wasn't who i met when i saw him
i wouldn't have said it was really bitchy nasty
side to him so again it's all i've got all these
thoughts mulling around nothing's fully settled
yet i just want to check my own ego here make
sure that i handle this in a way because I don't
want to have to redo this situation and then
maybe I'll apologize for whatever I believe my
part in it is but you know again producing poetry
producing anything you can't use a first draft
it doesn't you just don't do that no publisher
would take that on so we'll see yeah I think
the other bless the mess the other part of it
is you know this is the libertarian part of me
coming I view it I view all transactions between
adults as voluntary and consensual So even you
sitting here in my studio and us talking about
this is based on voluntarism. You're voluntarily
here. I'm voluntarily here. It's consensual because
I didn't force you. You didn't force me. I'm
here because I love you and I want to promote
what you have to say because you have a lot of
really cool things to say. And I think the world
needs to hear Sarah Terry talk about these things.
I'm doing this because I want to. The truth is
all transactions are voluntary. And you'll say,
well, what about contracts? Well, you don't have
to sign a contract. If you sign the contract,
it's an agreement. So this harkens back to this.
Do you remember there's a guy named... uh golly
what's his name he was a pro football player
that was kneeling down Copernick oh yes Copernick
okay Copernick something like that yes you're
close okay so so you know people were getting
their underwear in a bunch about this this young
football what do you do kneel down during the
anthem he would kneel down and during the national
anthem and so this was like a big discussion
with a lot of people like my my brothers are
like you know f him yeah my husband was like
it was like f him kneeling for the you know but
here's the libertarian part of me saying okay
first of all there's a lot of us that are like
not okay with the pledge of allegiance like it's
like i'm pledge allegiance to the flag well what
is a flag and what how right it's deep if i pledge
like i can see a pledge allegiance to a Yeah,
that's what we have to do in assembly every morning.
But I'm pledging to a flag. So now we have to
have this. Yes, that's interesting. We have to
have this discussion about what is the flag and
who owns it. And what does that represent? Whose
colours are those? So, you know, those are different
conversations. But let's just pretend that the
flag is supposed to be like these American ideals.
And the idea, I respect what they're saying.
It's like, if you're kneeling in front of the
flag, you're not standing. Therefore, you're
a turncoat. Not a patriot. You're not a patriot.
It's like, okay, first of all, I'm a veteran.
And I approve this message. If Colin, I think
his name's Kopernik. I think it's something like
that. No, you're close. Kapanak, I thought. Yeah,
whatever. Somebody will correct us, but maybe
we'll get him on the show and he can tell us.
We'll ask him. We'll ask him. But let's think
this through, okay? If everything is a consensual
agreement among consenting adults, I asked my
brother, I said, okay, you're getting your underwear
all bunched up about this person you don't know
anything about. Have you seen his contract? Have
you had a discussion with the owners of the football
team? Was it part of his contract where he had
to stand up for the Pledge of Allegiance? Was
it part of his contract? Was it part of his agreement?
If not, like if he said... I wonder if it was.
If he signed this multi -million dollar contract.
Maybe they didn't address that part. Maybe it
was just assumed that he would do that. Well,
an assumption in a contract doesn't exist, right?
Do you defend his right to do that? I do. Yeah.
Because it didn't worry me one way or the other.
I knew I thought this is going to be bad for
you because you could. I mean, my husband was
like, you know, what a dirtbag for doing that.
So I wondered how that was going to play out
for him. But he obviously found it necessary
because he had his reasoning. He didn't just
not do. I mean, he considered that, obviously.
Well, and I don't know the guy. Like, I don't
know his family life. I don't I really don't
even know his name. So let's be truthful. But
but just in terms of backing away and saying,
OK, from a libertarian standpoint. Did he hurt
anybody? Is anybody bleeding? No. No. Did he
cause any harm? Did he lie, cheat, steal? No.
Did he break a contract? Well, that's the question.
I don't know. And if he did, it's none of your
business really anyway. I mean, it's like...
It's a contract between the team's owner. But
people really like to have an opinion about something
like that. It's just, it doesn't enter... I just
couldn't care too much. I've got so many things
I think about. That's your choice, your life.
I do pledge allegiance. I love this country.
I do too. I'm so happy to be a citizen of this
country. I love this country too. I mean, I have
my hand on my heart and so... But I don't hate
him for not being like me. The reason I brought
this pro football player up is because you've
got this poet in you that had some sort of an
agreement. Yes. And I don't know if it was written.
No, it wasn't. It was just informal. Like yours
and mine. Was his agreement with you that you
were going to edit his stuff or was his agreement?
Was his expectation of you... No, because I said
to him, I said, you should have told me this
out the gate, that you wanted everything on first
draft, everything that you wrote has to be first
draft. Had he have said that, there wouldn't
have been an agreement because you can't... Things
have to be developed and teased and worked. You
have to read them out and you've got to be really
critical. And I get, you see, I get his ego because
I've worked with a lot of editors who have been
brutal and it is a blow to your ego. I mean,
it's really, really difficult to take that. But
I've had editors that have really improved my
work by kind of goading me, by saying, no, this
is not good. You haven't said this and I've picked
flaws. And that made me a better writer. But
it is challenging for someone to say. because
I think he thought this wasn't good enough as
it was. And then when I had changed it and shrunk
this and embellished that and changed vocabulary,
I believe that I'd improved it. We said that
we were going to do that, that I was going to
edit it. But then when it actually came to reading,
which he didn't read, he read the first one,
it was just too much for him. But I get... Because
my ego did that. I didn't react the way he did,
but I was like, fuck this shit. Who does he think
he is? I mean, it was really, it's very difficult
because you take it personally and no one likes
to be critiqued. But what I wanted him to see
is that we'll take this poetry. And he was very
good. His story arc was great. His themes were
great. But it just needed work. But everything
does. There's no author or poet that's published
anything on the first draft context. So we didn't
get that far with it. But again, I understand
that that was a blow to him. And he saw it somehow
as that he should have been able to keep these
three poems that he wanted without them being
edited because they were dear to his heart. But
this is a business for me. If you want some vanity
publishing, then you can just do that yourself.
Just go do your own podcast. Just go do Kinko's
or whatever. But this has to be really good poetry
and everything has to be really explored to its
best. And he didn't see that from that business
side. He had much more of a sentimental play
over that. But I get it. He's protective over
his words. So I think some of this just boils
down to, again, the communication model of managing
expectations. You had certain expectations that
you're established as this businesswoman. You're
taking the high road and helping him advance
himself. You have this belief structure about
what your roles and responsibilities are. If
I see any ego in this, it's you saying, well,
these are my roles and responsibilities. Why
don't you appreciate me for my knowledge? There's
part of that there, but I'm saying it's legitimate
because you are the real deal. On the creator
side, creators are different people, right? And
so he probably labored and labored and he's probably
got God knows how many hours into this making
it perfect. And without even looking at your
edits, this is clearly an ego move because if
you would have looked at the edits, thought about
them, considered them and said, yeah, it's debt.
I'm just going to keep mine. Then that would
be a different conversation. You can have a conversation
about it, but the fact that he didn't even look
at the edits, that was really an unmet expectation
because his expectation was he was going to go,
he was going to give it to you, and that was
going to flow. I think that he was stunned, he
was surprised. Yeah, I think so. So I think there
was an unmet expectation both ways. Both ways,
yeah. Well, you thought he would maybe respond
with this, thank you so much, because that's
the way you would have responded. I'd like to
think that I would have done. I want this to
be the best version of it could be, which is
an editor's job. He had this sentimental attachment
to this being some type of channeled work. He
said he got up at three in the morning and it
was channeled from spirit. And I kind of get
what that means because sometimes when I write,
I'm like, well, where did that come from? It's
kind of a weird, but so he wanted to keep this.
I think he should have said this out the gate
and then I could have made a better decision
maybe. I'm going to sit on it. I just want to
make sure that I understand what my part in this
was. And whether I ever talk to him again, it's
important that I don't take whatever that flaw
and weakness was of me into another project in
the future. So I have to see this as a learning
curve. It's beautiful. I think you're in a good
place. I know that there's some relationships
I've had in my past where I totally did not transgress
them, but they felt transgressed. What I've done
in those circumstances, I would say, you know,
I just wanted to let you know, and I usually
write this out, so it's... Yes. It's just...
It's thought about. They know that I really...
And even handwrite with a note. Oh, okay. Just
so that they can't... It's unambiguous. I usually
just say, you know, I want to let you know that
although we won't be working together, I still
value you and I value what you're doing and I've
appreciated the time we've spent together. And
I personally want to apologize for any of my
shortcomings, misgivings, misunderstandings about
what your objectives are. I want to, even though
you don't have to respond to this. You're going
to write this for me. I love it. That was really
well said. I've said it dozens of times. I love
it. It's laid out really well. The idea is that,
you know, where were you? I was expecting a lot.
Where are we? Yeah. This empath, right? Yeah,
this is broken now, yeah. But I want you to know
moving forward that I'm a cheerleader for you.
I love you and I want you to succeed. And I want
you to, I'm asking for forgiveness for either
things that I've done or things that I've failed
to do. Just, I'm putting it out there. You don't
even have to reply to this. Yeah. I'm doing it
for me. I just, if I'm, if I could do something
better in the future for somebody else. I'm going
to try and do that. I'm going to try to do it.
So nothing personal. I think the world of you
and I want you to move forward. That would be
a lie though, because I don't think the world
for me. I think he's a nasty little shit. That's
what my ego says, right? The way that you spoke
to me, it's like, I've got these two voices.
Well, I mean, you can adjust, but again, that's...
That's the difference because I don't address...
So have you been insulted and called a nasty
bitch and you still would have that nice benevolent
response? I do because ultimately we're called
to be the light. We're just the light. So I would
respond to the behavior. His behavior is this
lashing out. And so how do you respond to that?
You just say, I understand you're really upset
with me and that was never my intention. Yeah.
So you can address the behavior, but not call
him a name or. No. Just say. I wouldn't. I mean,
I have to you on the podcast. I just called him
a nasty little shit. I know, right? Strike that
from the record. No, but you know, but the truth
is, you know, he behaved like a nasty little
shit. Yeah. So a lot of times my, again, this
goes back to when my boys were young. It's like,
Johnny's a stupid idiot. No, no, no. He's an
amazing young boy. He's awesome. He's beautiful.
He's powerful. He's a creator. He's behaving
like a stupid idiot. So you take it away from
it being the person. It's not the person. I'm
glad that we had this conversation because it
is a behavior thing. And if you can make that
distinction, you can address it correctly. Yeah.
So that's all I just do is separate the behavior
from the actual character. And I apologize even
for stuff that it's not even my fault. I still
put it out there because I want to clear that.
Yes, that's how I feel. I just want to clear
it. You just want to purify all this rubble that's
left lying around. Smudging. So, well, thank
you for taking me down this journey. It's been
lovely. Thank you for your advice. I liked it.
It's not advice. I'm just telling you what I
do. Well, yes, not advice, but perspective. Yeah.
And the next podcast, I'll let you know if I
have made some headway with it. I would love
to know. But I'm going to rest on it for a few
days. If it's important to you. Yeah. Well, it's
unfinished business for me. It doesn't feel finished
to me, but that's because I have to kind of examine
myself a bit. So I'll see what I come up with.
Well, some of the strongest relationships. Um,
that I have in my life right now are the ones
where I, where I, even when I, they know, and
you, you know, and he knows that you were not
the one that was wrong. But if you take the high
road and you just tuck it, tuck your ego away,
not, not, it's not dishonoring your ego. It's
actually. Restraint harnessing it. It's your,
your, your transmuting it. You're transmuting
your, your ego from a physical self to a. glowing
spiritual self you're merging you're emerging
and you're transmuting from the 3d to the 5d
6 7 8 12d space where you're just this multi
yeah multi -energetic form of light and you're
responding with just perfect beautiful divine
peaceful sovereignty and you're just seeing because
you know what i can go i can go outside and i
can look at the sun in the sky and i can just
put out All of the cuss words, all of the darkness,
I could just blast it with darkness and the light
doesn't care. No, it's not moved. The light's
going to go, I'm the light, I'm shining. I understand
that you're going through some roughness and
I'm okay with that, but I'm still going to be
the light. All good. Well, thank you, darling.
That was a good one. Well, I never know what
to expect, but this is cool. So anyway, so Sarah,
let's wrap this up. How do people get a hold
of you? I haven't hardly seen you. You're writing
your new book. Tell me about your new book. Yes,
so I have three books coming out on the next
podcast. Not just one book, folks, three books.
Two of them are 95 % done. You're such an underachiever.
Well, my novel is the one that I really got to
get. That's why I've been having my head down,
because I have book two of The Star Side Prophecy,
and there's going to be three. Did I tell you
that you're in book three, just conceptually?
I know. Isn't that going to be fun? So you have
a pilot in you? Am I a pilot? No. Do I have wings?
Oh, you're an angel, darling. Yeah, you'll have
beautiful wings. Okay, as long as I have wings.
Oh, glowing, glowing. Okay, so it's Sarah Tirri
at gmail .com. If you want to send me an email,
ask me any questions, that's good. And Amazon
is where you can buy my books. We have The Mirror
World. The Mirror World is likening our existence
to a virtual reality game. And we're living in
a matrix. And I talk you through that. That's
a journal. It's 8 ,000 words. You can read that
in about 40 minutes. And that, I wrote that for
myself because I needed to hear it. And then
Is This the Best God Could Do? polemic it's a
critique of christianity and then the star side
prophecy that's my sci -fi fantasy novel so they're
all available on amazon and um get in touch you
can always get in touch on my blog SarahTirri.com
and you can leave me a message there i'd
love to hear from you i love having you here
thank you darling have a good week okay Soul
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