This episode of Soul Decodes is pre-recorded, but Sarah and Tia Jolie felt it compelling enough to share with you today. We hope you agree.
Welcome to Soul Decodes. Join us as we wander off the path to find the ideas that fascinate. We talk about spirituality, the mind, the ego, wellness and hidden history with tips, travels and more.
Charms for a better life.
Well, good day, beautiful souls. My name is Dr. Tia Jolie Phillips. I'm here at the Treehouse Studio over here in Phillips Island and I'm with my special guest. As usual, Sarah Tirri, welcome back.
Thank you. It's lovely to be here.
Awesome. What's exciting in Sarah's world?
Oh, everything's exciting. Yeah.
I had my lake cleaned, so they've removed some of the debris. So now when I get my jet skis in and out, it's not going to get all this stuff sucked up into it. So that was a positive.
Well, that's good news.
Because I want to use my jet skis every day because it's a new form of exercise because it's kind of like riding a horse. If you go really fast, you've got to use your leg muscles.
Well, based on your tan, it looks like you're already out there every day.
So that was good. And I've just wrapped up a new book. And this is called Inmate to Occupant. And the inmate is you're behind bars and you're in a mental prison. And when you're the occupant, you're out of those bars and you're now occupying your avatar body. You're not a slave to your mind.
So that was, and I'm having the cover done right now. And I described it to him, much like you did earlier with what you're doing. So I described this cover and I'm waiting to get the first proof back. But he illustrated one of my children's books and he uses AI and he is brilliant.
So I'm really looking forward. And I've got myself behind bars on the left and then free on the right.
For some reason, I can't even conceptualize you behind bars.
Oh, I was for a lot of my life. Oh my God. Right? But well, I want to thank you for reviewing my artwork.
Oh, it's beautiful. It's going to be beautiful. Absolutely stunning. And the artist, you know, there's this, I don't know if you're aware of this, but there's this division between the true artists that are the, you know, just the brain to fingers to hands, you know, where they're actually creating things.
And the AI artists, the graphic artists, this, this, this division. But I truly, I truly believe that you can find a center spot. Yes, I agree. Like what I was doing prior to you walking into the studio was I was using AI to, I use AI to brainstorm.
So what I'll do is I'll say, okay, give me 10 ideas about this and such. And I just have, and just, and just brainstorm. And then I'll say, okay, and get inspiration.
I'll take one or two of those ideas and I'll say, okay, let's you and I refine this idea. And it's just so exciting. Very exciting. And using technology to your advantage and for its best outcome, because technology can go either way.
It can benefit us or it could actually be, it could enslave us. But how you're doing it is great. But it's nothing to be afraid of. That's my point. A lot of people are like, oh, AI is going to destroy the world.
It's like, no, poor attitudes will destroy the world. Yes, you'll destroy it, using it. But you can use these tools for great things. Like you can use AI in the hands of psychopaths.
Anything in the hands of a psychopath. Your kitchen knife in the hands of a psychopath. So anyway, but I'm really grateful. So I have the AI in Portson House. I have my artist. She's a beautiful, beautiful artist with...
Is she local? Local. Yeah, she lives down south, just a little south of Claremont, down 27. Does she do this for a living?
Well, she's a brand new friend. I barely know anything about her. But I was helping her move. She was moving her home and I wanted to rescue her plants. Put them into rehab.
I have also... I walk people around my... I nearly bought you all my orchids today. Oh, I forgot to pick those up. But I walk people around Phillips Island and I give them a tour.
And it's like, yeah, that's a rescue. That was in a car accident. Like an orphanage. Well, my olive trees, they were in a trunk of a car that was in an accident. It was going to go to the power. It was going to go to the wreck and they were going to die.
Oh, that's so amazing. How are they doing now? They're still struggling. But they're getting there. Have you got the right mix of fertilisers? No, not really. You haven't really.
I need to do better. But when I walk people around, it's like I realise like almost everything I've gotten has been either free or maybe I've helped somebody or their family.
Well, the universe has delivered it to you somehow, right? Yeah. The family, like I helped people with their health. And I don't take money. So they feel compelled to give me something.
So they give me plants and trees. But giving is such a fundamental part of life. I think you allow people to do that because it's all giving and receiving is the same thing. So it's beautiful.
Yeah. So we should explore that sometime soon. But anyways, my point is, you know, the AI, the technology, it's as good as you want to make it. It's as bad as you want to make it.
I do feel for the artists. But what artists need to do if they're truly creative is match themselves up with people like us, because we are creators. We are creators, too.
So when you have creators that unite, which is central to the Earth Angel project, is uniting creators. If you have creators that unite, then these artists that are good at what they do can come together with creators like you and business innovators like me.
And, you know, because I'm a rainmaker for business. So when you bring those elements together, you can all be really good at what you do. But that cooperative aspect can manifest really cool things.
So I run a children's writing contest and I have, I think, 15 different books and I hire artists from all around the world and they have different mediums.
So one, it was called the Sticky Bird, Sticky Chicks, and she was using pastels and it was beautiful. And then the guy that's doing the cover of my book, Inmate to Occupant, he's using AI.
So whatever medium works, are people worried that AI is going to just surpass and get rid of people's artistry using pens, pastels and paint brushes? Is that the worry about that?
Well, because that to me would be like having music. I listen to rock music like you, but I love like Billie Eilish where it's all computer driven music and they're just two different genres and they don't need to compete.
They can merge and that's kind of nice with music.
I mean, I'm not, I don't live in the fear realm, but listening to people who do live in the fear realm, they express concerns about, like if you're driving, like you and I both drive Cadillac Escalades.
There was no planning there. It was just black and white.
Do you remember when we pulled into that restaurant music? It was a beautiful dance.
I pulled up next to your eyes like I just fell in love.
But the timing was so perfect. We could have choreographed.
That was funny. You know, the Cadillacs, they have these kill switches. So potentially.
Where is the kill switch? I haven't seen mine.
It's connected to.
What does that mean? What's a kill switch? It just stops it. What's that mean?
That means if somebody anywhere doesn't want your car to start, they can make it not start. So and it's supposedly for for anti theft, but they could electronically tell your car you're not going to start.
That sucks.
Well, like what if your car was stolen?
Yes, they could locate it.
They could say, OK, it's here. We're going to make it not start.
Yes, that has its good use.
But then if it's some place and it's not going to start, they're probably already taking the pieces off anyway.
So to me, that's not as an entrepreneur, as a free enterprise libertarian where I don't want people controlling me in any way.
That type of thing. I can understand that concern.
Yes.
You know, I can get that.
But and if your car was stolen and they could locate it and no one start hacking it to pieces, it would be a good use of technology.
But you just don't want anyone to have that power.
Right. And there's there's you're going to find out like as more and more truth comes out about what's happening in the world around us, that many of the airplanes and boats that have been in accidents could potentially have been remotely controlled.
Those controls could have been commandeered.
The maneuvering could have been executed by somebody remotely, whether it's a terrifying isn't it?
Well, right. Whether it's a good hat or like a white hat or a dark hat, you know, a good guy, bad guy, whatever.
The fact is that those technologies exist.
So additionally, like even things like bank accounts, like everything we do is electronic.
It's almost to the point where you cannot like computers can guess your password for all of your accounts using AI, probably within 10 seconds.
Oh, they would mine. I keep the same bloody password for.
All right.
But so you're easy. I'm probably an easy hack.
I'm an easy hack too.
So now we're going to get to the point where, you know, we have to defeat the AI. So like there's this thing called KYS, which are KYC, which is an acronym or an abbreviation for in the crypto space for know your customer.
KYC know your customer.
Well, I want to take it a step further. And I've got an acronym I use, but basically it's about instead of using cryptography and using algorithms from a computer to do something, I can use things like geo location.
My key will not work unless it knows that it's with me at my location or if I touch a certain pattern or my proof.
The proof that I live as a flesh and blood person.
I don't need to prove it with a digital ID. I don't need to prove it with some state issued license.
All I need to do is go to other people who have been like I can go and say, I'm looking at Sarah Terry.
She's alive. She's a flesh and blood woman.
They don't need to know anything else other than you're alive and you're living and it's been validated by another live living woman.
So that's that's the idea.
I don't need cryptography. I just need a geo location of two live living people to verify that they both are alive and living.
So there's ways we're going to end up defeating that. But that's down the road.
I love I think defeating is probably that's quite a negative term, but integrating it right.
We have to integrate it towards the positive and not give a I.
Sam Harris was talking about a I and he's a philosopher and a neuroscientist.
And he was giving this scenario that a computer could be capable.
And I think I might have mentioned this on a previous podcast, but it can upload 25000 years of knowledge in 10 seconds.
So we're just giving I mean, and that is that's very, very scary.
So then when we've given this massive amount of power to a form, there's no consciousness in a I.
It's not animated like you and I with consciousness.
So I'm not scared of it. I don't think we have to defeat it.
I think we have to integrate that to work with how we want our lives to look.
So I don't see it as a big negative.
And it could just just give us a massive leap in evolution as long as we hone it, process it, guide it,
be aware of how powerful it is and make sure that our motives for using it are pure.
And that and I I perceive what you're saying.
I think we diverge a little bit on this one because I do see that there's a potentiality for these technologies to literally learn to program themselves.
Yeah, that's fucked, isn't it?
It's kind of messed up. But but like say there's can't we can't we not permit it to program?
That's that's why I'm saying by defeat.
So when I say defeat, I'm saying to put a limit on there that says that you can do anything you want.
But here's the boundaries. Yeah. Right.
Yeah. And so that's what I mean by defeat.
Yeah. Operate within the constructs that we we the people.
Yeah. The people are in charge of you.
So that's kind of where we are.
How far do you think the government is with technology that the common man doesn't know about?
Well, I mean, first of all, they've stolen thousands and thousands of patents and they've kept it to themselves.
So I'm going to say what we're dealing with.
I'm going to say 50 years.
Bloody hell.
There there's the anti-gravity things that they've taken from us.
There's free energy devices that has to be there is.
I mean, I've seen them. I've seen. I'll show you them.
Then what's neat about the time we're living in right now is that there's this reveal.
All is being interesting, isn't it?
And do you think this is an event that's been a long time coming?
This reveal is something that's been prophesied down the line for a long time.
I'm not big on prophesy.
But prophecy for me means forecasting a future event.
Yeah, I think there was some people for a long time.
You know, there's this entity called the Kazarian Mafia.
They're dastardly bad people.
I don't believe they've been on the planet for a while with an agenda to monopolize and control for world domination.
They're just ugly people and they'll do anything to anybody to control.
But I think we've we're in the process of defeating them right now.
We've won most of the major battles.
That's good.
And I think we're on the cusp of some really beautiful...
And all this, if you look at a lot of world religions, this moment in time,
and the New Ages will say we're moving into fifth dimension.
And I get that.
I actually get that conceptually and that's a nice thing.
Then you take another religion and you can take Christianity.
This is the end times.
That's very, very bleak.
Some are going to heaven.
The rest of you are going to stay on earth and deal with all the bullshit.
But every religion has some scenario where they're all saying something major is going on in order to rebirth.
In order to get us out of an old mode and get us into a new mode.
So I'm all for it.
Well, when I listen to the Christian story, I think we've already been through the end times and we're in the rebirth right now.
That's interesting.
So I think we're actually in the rebirth back in the 40s, 50s.
Like if you really look what has happened in America and a lot of people call America the heartland.
It really is the heartland.
I mean, not just for the North America, but for the world.
These people, these corrupt psychopaths that want to control the world, they know that they have to defeat America to take over the world.
They can't do it.
We've got, first of all, we have a will.
If there's even one American left standing, we're still going to have a will to fight.
If there's one of us left, we're still going to fight.
When I say fight, I mean defeat.
All we want to do is live free.
Just get out of my space.
You do you, I'll do me.
I'll do me and then we can come together if we need to.
And it's better if we don't have to fight if we can cooperate.
So what we've done in the past several years since 2020 is there's a group of us behind the scenes that have averted.
We've avoided the synthesis of a civil war in the United States.
I know a lot of people.
And was a civil war hoped for by the dark forces?
Well, if you think, you know, absolutely.
They tried to divide America and it didn't work.
They tried to tell us.
I think it's kind of did work.
There's a lot of division, isn't there, in the polarity of left and right politics?
Well, I think there is, but there's not.
I see a great deal of tribalism.
You've got two separate and everyone's kind of hating each other and being mean to each other.
I'm watching the vice president be mean about the contending president.
And this is just you're so polarized.
And there is this division that's just right.
And I think everyone's sick of it because there should be a meeting in the middle.
But I think that, first of all, the media that you're watching is no longer the mainstream media.
It's the corporate media.
Their listenership, their viewership is down like 80 to 90 percent.
Like almost nobody's paying attention to what they're saying or what they're doing
because they know that they're purchased by corporations to basically advance globalist agendas.
Yes.
I mean, it's going to benefit just a few.
Well, those of us that are in the real media, because we, we the people, we're the news now.
People like the Sarah Teary podcast.
This podcast is the news.
More people are going to be paying attention to what Sarah Teary says on the podcast
or Tia Jilly Phillips on the Earth Angel podcasts, any of the ones we're doing.
Then the BBC news.
That's one of the what's on the mainstream media.
Those people look at that and they're like, especially when we don't.
We just don't know what we're hearing is the truth.
We don't know whether we're being lied to or what we need are ideas.
It's just the opposite.
It's like I can almost guarantee that you and I in the history of our lives,
we've never had a full, complete, true news story put on that talking box.
My stepfather used to say that when I was a teenager.
He said, you just cannot believe this.
No, there's nothing.
There's nothing you can believe.
In fact, what's coming up.
And you think more people are waking up to this?
That we don't live in a reality that we can.
So that's pretty terrifying that we don't know what to believe.
So then we have to start getting our information from independent sources.
That's what the Internet can do.
Potentially, we could have billions of people downloading this podcast.
So we potentially could reach the whole world.
But let's play that through because you just nailed something imperfect.
Absolutely perfect.
So if you can't believe what's on that, the man on the talking box,
the electronic man on the box that we've been brainwashed to believe.
If you can't believe that and you can't believe that the Bible is true and complete
and you can't believe anything that NASA says because there are a bunch of liars.
If you can't believe everything around you, where do you go for your truth?
Well, you're either going to be independently inclined to think
and be critical and ask questions or you're going to be a sheep
because being a sheep can be safer.
And then you'll pay attention to the media, pay attention to the good book
and then just allow yourself to be shepherded.
And then you'll trade that, you'll feel secure,
but you're not going to be secure because you won't really know.
And is the testament going to be to the life that you're living?
Are you leading a good, healthy, productive life?
Or are you just cowering in the sidelines, afraid to question anything
and just hope this goddamn shit is over at some point?
Right. Well, again, I'm going to ask you to play this through
because this is very central to your books.
What is the source of truth?
Like I have a position that belief, a person's belief,
oh, I believe this.
Belief is an acknowledgement that you don't know the truth.
Yes.
Because belief cannot exist unless there's an absence, a void of truth.
So if you either know the truth or you have a belief.
It's a belief.
Right. So I believe my spouse is not cheating on me.
Do you know it for sure? Like 100%? Like you risk your life on it?
Well, no, I just, I believe that, well, then you don't know.
Yes.
You either know something to be true.
So you can't conflate truth with belief.
And now what's where we're falling as a species and it's changing
is if you say the sky is, I don't like the sky because that could change too,
but if you have a belief about something and I have a belief and they differ,
well, the truth lies almost always at the confluence of the two.
Like most likely part of what you're saying is very, like you see the truth,
but it's from a different angle.
You're beautiful and intelligent and intuitive and insightful.
And so am I. So we have these, like my truth and your truth.
I wouldn't get perceptions and opinions. It's not a truth though.
We don't know. We're hoping to get to a truth.
And truth is beauty. Truth is human flourishing for all.
That's the truth. That's what truth is for me, because that's what God did.
So you get to that truth by perceptions and opinions and exchange of ideas.
Yeah. So if I hold this cylinder up, let's pretend this is a perfect cylinder,
and I point it to you like this and I say, what do you see there?
And you'll say, well, I see a circle.
But if I turn it like this, I say, well, what do you see?
And you say, well, I see a rectangle. Right? So there's a circle.
So if you and I are looking at this the same way,
you're going to swear on your grave that you see a circle.
I'm going to swear on my grave that I'm a mom's grave or whatever.
I don't have a grave yet. You know what I'm saying?
But I'm going to swear that that is not a circle, dear.
That is about non-circular as you can get.
And I'm going to be fixed on my opinion in the circle.
And you're going to start throwing weapons at me.
But the thing is, it's the same object. It's a solid cylinder.
But we're viewing it from a different perspective and angle.
But the only way we can say it is I say, come over to my side, dear,
and just spend 10 seconds looking at my viewpoint.
And I look at it from your point for 10 seconds, then we agree.
This is a solid cylinder. Love that. Love that analogy.
We need to do more of that because, and I find this with different religions,
they're so stalwart on their positions. It's like, can we just do some research?
Let's dig into the genesis of your religion.
What I've gathered from Christianity, and I've been burnt at the stake a few times.
I really just like Jesus Christ.
But the Christians that are in my life, and I've known, I know two Christians,
and I've been friends with them for nearly 30 years, 25 years.
They both think that they're here to save me, that they have this full measure of truth.
And if they can somehow get me to think what they think and believe what they believe,
they believe they're helping my soul.
So they believe they're in my life to shepherd me because my welfare is their concern.
And that's all well and good, but it does stop a dialogue from taking place.
There's nothing I can say. If I were to mention karma, reincarnation,
the evolution of consciousness, that we're creating our own reality, the matrix,
they would just think the devil is speaking.
So you've got this stalwart barrier to any dialogue taking place.
You could not convince a Christian that they've lived more than once
because they see you as somehow being on the dark side,
that you're talking about something which is anti what they think about,
and then no dialogue could take place.
Right, and so I don't...
But I understand the motive of the Christians doing that
because these two people love me deeply.
Right, and so what I do is I just ask those people questions
because they are coming from a position of love,
and I will ask them questions about that.
But there's this paradox that they can't overcome,
and there's multiple paradoxes that are very difficult for them.
Number one is, I understand you feel like you need to rescue me.
What have I said or done or shown you that makes you believe
that I need to be rescued?
Yeah, just what the Bible says.
But then I ask, how can you see inside of my soul?
To judge me, you're supposed to be a fruit inspector.
You're supposed to look at the fruit of the spirit.
And the Bible says you'll be known by your fruit.
So if you're known by your fruit, then inspect the fruit
so you can work out what the fruit is about.
So when you look at my life, is there any part of my life
that is not beautiful, vibrant, delicious, healthy, tasty fruit?
Yeah, and all the nice things you do for people.
And you too.
If more people were like Sarah Teary, this world would be way better.
So, you know, are you being a judge or are you being a fruit inspector?
And then the Bible all over the place talks about not judging.
So they're judging, but the mandate is not to judge.
And the book that I'm just writing, I actually take Biblical Scripture
and then I interpret it in the way for my cosmology.
So we're asked not to judge, but that's the very thing that people are doing
because they have to judge you in order to attempt to try
and get you on the straight and narrow.
So judgment is an aspect of them wanting to save you.
Well, judging is a precondition of their evangelical activities.
And they're commanded to do that. That's in the Bible.
You've got to go out there and you've got to convert people
because if you don't, God's going to fuck with them at the end of the day.
I mean, what a horrible burden there.
But that's my journey.
And it's difficult because I know I have close family who feels that way.
And it's difficult.
They can't comprehend that I'm already living in heaven.
I'm already there.
And you don't need saving.
God, it's so arrogant.
But I still love them because their hearts are pure.
They really feel like I'm the devil incarnate.
And I'm like, OK, well, if I'm the devil incarnate because I don't believe your story
or I've researched your story more than you've researched your story.
And I've thought about it critically.
And there are certain aspects of really all the religions that are so beautiful.
They're so beautiful.
When you look at, like when I talk to my what I call my Neo-Christian friends,
they're not the ancient Christians that are mystical,
that understand the interaction between energy and water, for instance.
St. John the Baptist was an Essenes.
And I asked Christians, well, what do you know about the Essenes?
And they're like, who?
The Coptics.
Who?
Or the Coptics.
Who?
I'm like the Essenes.
Jesus hung around.
He hung with the Nazarenes.
He wasn't Jesus from Nazareth.
He was Jesus. They referred to him as the Nazarene.
And we don't know what he did for all those years.
He went missing, didn't he?
I actually do know.
I think he went down to India.
Yeah, he advanced himself a lot in his human form.
Yes, and it doesn't have to be in the Semitic region.
This could have been elsewhere.
If Mary was on a donkey, so could Jesus.
Get from A to B.
He learned a lot from Mary, that's for sure.
Mary was an energy worker.
But the Essenes were water workers.
So, you know, his friend John the Baptist was a water worker.
He was an Essene.
And these Essenes, they had these beautiful scriptures,
absolutely beautiful scriptures.
In fact, I shared with you the Gospel of Peace.
There's four Gospels in one volume.
Four volumes.
In the canon.
Four in there.
I don't know the terminology.
But basically there's four books.
I cried every day.
When I read the Gospel of Peace, I literally cried.
It was so beautiful.
It was dug up from the Ancestor.
So it's been in a cave somewhere.
It's been in some cave in Turkey.
So it's been in a couple of towns for years.
Yeah.
And they dug them up.
But there's not just one.
So the Christians have four Gospels that have been
greatly, greatly mangled.
Mangled, really.
They're not even, they're very little that's there that's...
Well, the Gospel of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John,
I think the one that was the earliest was 30 years after Jesus died.
Going up to 80 or 90 years.
You're not an eyewitness, right?
It's like, what the fuck?
I don't know.
Well, that's what the scholars say about that.
So, you know, I mean, someone talking about you in 30 years from now,
never have met you, there's going to be some distortion.
Well, I'm definitely the devil then.
But so there's these four Gospels that the Neo-Christians are allowed to read
and anything outside of those four, you're a blasphemer.
Well, that's no different than Emperor Constantine in 325 to 326 AD.
Putting people and burning them at the stake for mentioning that fifth Gospel.
Heresy, yeah.
There's a fifth Gospel, it's the Gospel of Philip.
And Philip's talking all about how magnificent his wife is.
He's going on and on and on about his amazing wife.
But if you mention how amazing women can be,
you're going to get burned at the stake because this Emperor Constantine
and this Council of Nicaea says Philip's Gospel is blasphemy.
And there was no women sitting around that.
Yeah, they didn't have a vote.
Oh no, they were at home barefoot and pregnant and making some stew.
Digging up water and being called hookers and whores.
Charming.
It's like, oh, there's a good look.
But if we're reincarnating in male and female bodies, we've also been men, right?
We've been men and men and female all throughout history
because we've lived thousands of lives.
So we've been a guy abusing a woman and then we've been a woman rising up.
So we've done both, I think.
And within that construct, when we talk about the human experience,
we have to acknowledge that time is a human constraint.
Yeah, I've been reading about this actually.
Yeah, so I asked people, like even yesterday there's a girl,
I just sensed her energy, she was at a local networking meeting.
I sensed her energy, there's this degree of sadness and loneliness.
And was that intuitive that you detected?
Very intuitive.
So I told her, I said, hey, we're supposed to get together sometimes.
She says, yeah, yeah, I got a lot going on and stuff.
I said, so what are you doing right after this meeting?
I'm going to meet with a client.
Where?
Citrus Tower.
What after that?
When is that meeting done?
She said, well, 10, 15 or whatever.
I said, I'll be there.
We're going to talk.
Wow.
So just intuitively, well, it turns out that she's...
And it's very assertive and very commanding.
Yeah, because...
When you're making something happen, you're acting on an inner command to some degree.
Well, it turns out she's going through some major, major, major stuff.
Wow.
So you picked up on that.
19-year marriage.
She's just filed yesterday.
What did he do?
Two days ago.
What ended the marriage?
Well, I mean, I don't know the details.
Oh, she didn't get into that?
No.
But has she distraught over the loss of this marriage then?
Or is she happy to be free of it?
She's tried.
She's invested time and effort and energy.
She told him five, six, seven years ago her needs and her wants and her desires, and they
were just ignored.
So she's gotten to this point where she's distraught because her kids are like 15 and
17.
Oh, that's rough.
And it's rough.
Did she stay in the marriage because she had kids?
Was that what she was trying to do, trying to get them through?
Again, this is my first conversation with her.
So she's a brand new friend.
I didn't know anything about her.
I just had this intuition.
Well, two days ago she filed, and yesterday I met with her.
She literally cried and broke down in my arms in the middle of a coffee store.
I hugged her for 20 seconds, gave her that oxytocin hug.
She's such a beautiful, beautiful person.
She's done.
She's kicked butt for her family.
How old is she?
She seems to be probably maybe, I hate to say her ages, but in case you ever listen
to this, but she seems to be like maybe early 40s.
Right.
But she looks beautiful.
She looks younger.
Well, that's very young and that's good.
So she can have this new life based on this.
It sounds like 19 years.
Maybe mid 40s.
Yeah, but that's beautiful.
She was married 19 years, so let me just say 47.
Yeah.
So meeting you then, this was helpful to her.
When you have this overpowering need to reach her, this was something that helped her.
And was she liberated by knowing you to some degree?
Well, I mean, she thanked me multiple times.
You see, this is not my first rodeo.
I've been where she was where you invest so much time and so much effort in a relationship.
And there's nothing you can do that's correct for the other person.
And you end up carrying everything yourself.
So it's not like, it's not like a, and I actually went to marriage counseling by myself
for a year just to try to figure out what I'm missing.
Just right.
Yes.
It's something I'm not.
And I was like, and you put the responsibility on yourself probably, which is quite a valiant
thing to do, but it can mess with you.
You don't believe in divorce and you're like, okay, I've got to figure this out.
And it literally drives you insane to depression because if you're an, if you're empathetic
and you're kind of, you're a hard worker and you want this thing to work, but the other
person's not willing to do the inner work.
They're not willing to participate in the evolution of the marriage.
Yeah, just flogging a dead horse.
Then there's, it's not going to go anywhere and you can't do anything about it.
So, so anyway, I just, you know, I've things I'm sure.
It was nice.
It's nice when you talk to someone that's actually been through what you're going through.
There's not much I haven't been through.
I've had one marriage and it's a successful marriage.
It hasn't always been easy, but apart from that, I can relate to people on most levels
because I've been through a lot of this, you know, trauma it means to be human.
So I'm glad that she's met you and she's filed for divorce and how she processes this
now is going to be important and see it as liberation.
It's scary though.
I could imagine being in your mid forties and think fuck, because you've probably been
relying on this construct and then she's got the two kids and they're not out the nest yet.
So that's, you know what I mean?
So that's, that's rough.
She's got a decent, she's got a decent career, but what I told her, I looked her dead in the eyes
and said, you're not alone.
We've got this.
You will not, you're going to get through this.
You're not the first person to be divorced with teenagers.
We've got this.
I want you to make a commitment that either I'm going to text you or you're going to text me.
And I don't care if it's like three in the morning.
If you need to talk to somebody, you call me.
If there's ever a threat, if there's ever a threat physically, you jump in the car and come out here.
So that's really sweet.
And she's like, well, he's now just now to the point leaning into me saying, hey, listen, you know,
what he just keeps wanting to ask you, what can we do?
What can we do?
And she's like over it.
She's tried for six, seven years.
And I said, here's the deal.
He wants to he wants to pull you back into his world because he's realizing he didn't have his radar on for fricking so long.
It was about him and his world.
And now his world's about to change.
And he wants to say he's very nervous about his very nervous.
So you have to be kind and compassionate, but also firm.
You've had your opportunity.
He's going to try to do this.
He's going to try to suck you back in his world.
And he's been successful at that to some degree.
So he's going to try to.
So I told her, I said, it's going to get worse because he's going to realize that the things he's been doing, they're not going to work anymore.
He's going to try and he's going to try.
Yeah.
So but just be firm and just say, I care.
Does she still love him?
Well, no, no, she's she cares about him.
And I asked her that, I said, but she cares about him.
And, you know, so this doesn't have to be ugly.
I said, so let's just make an agreement that you're going to help him to his next stage.
And it's not going to involve you.
You can you still have to co-parent.
Yeah.
And you can be friends.
You can be friends and you can be there for him.
Always speak kindly.
Yes.
Always be kind and gentle.
You were in love with each other at some point.
So you met for a reason.
I believe that this is a chapter.
Either if one of you has decided it's not decided, it's not going to work.
It's not going to go.
So let's just agree to that.
But it's very painful because she's feeling like a failure.
She wanted it to work.
That's why she invested so much time.
And you can't look at those 19 years as lost time.
It was great time.
It was wonderful.
It was a big success for 19 years, but it isn't anymore.
So process that not in the realms of it being a failure.
And I told her, I said, both of you are going to come out the other side of this more powerful, more beautiful, smarter.
And the person that you find, if you find someone, maybe you stay single.
It's up to you.
But the person you find is going to be rewarded so grandly for finding you having been through this experience.
Because you're so much better for this experience.
So an evolution has taken place.
And they're going to honor you and respect you and be all those things that you want them to be because they're going to see who you are.
That's beautiful.
And so I wish you'd have been around before now.
You'd have really straightened me out as a teenager.
No, I wasn't ready when I was a teenager.
You were.
It was all I could do.
But your wisdom now and this lovely positive force that you're exuding, it's beautiful.
And I believe that you meet the right people at the right time.
I have absolute faith in that.
So whatever you perceive that day when you met her, wherever that was, and it led to this very powerful conversation taking place.
And it's probably allowed her to elevate slightly out of being stuck where she was.
And she's free to some degree.
So you've given her some wings.
So I actually, you wouldn't have wanted to know me when I was a teenager.
I was a rebel.
I'm surprised I'm still alive.
Cats have nine lives.
I'm way past my nine.
But so listen, I didn't expect we'd talk about this.
You have some things that you might want to talk about briefly.
Well, I think, well, no, it's not going to be brief.
So I want to let's wrap up this podcast because on the next one, I want to talk about I don't want to mention it.
Well, I will now.
I want to talk about start.
No, OK.
All right.
So the next one comes into what we were just talking about.
But I've got it all laid out.
So I'm going to need.
So for those of you who can't see Sarah, she's shaking with excitement.
So you need you need to tune into our next episode and just kind of listen to what she's about to share because I'm the same place.
I'm sorry.
I haven't even told you about.
I know I'm so excited.
I haven't talked to many people about it.
You'll understand why.
Oh, my gosh.
So I'm so excited.
So let's do this.
Let's wrap up and we'll see you next time.
Thanks for being here.
Thank you so much.
All right.
So let's get started.
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