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Welcome to Soul Decodes. Join us as we wander off the path to find the ideas that fascinate.
We talk about spirituality, the mind, the ego, wellness and hidden history with tips, travels and tales. Charms for a better life.
Sarah Teary, welcome back to the tree house. Thank you. It's wonderful to be here.
Well, since last time we spoke, I think it was last time or the time before previous episode, you said you saw those two deer.
I saw a deer run into your left ear. You saw one. I saw one deer run into your left ear.
And so you saw a deer. Yes. But there was another one. And as of last week, we have two bambies. Do you?
We have two bambies. We have a family of four now. Oh, goodness. And what I learned is that they can I bring over some food for them?
Well, would you? Because I've learned that they love my cabbages. So so yeah, if you want to bring food, that's great.
I'll stick it away. I'll put it out on the back nine. It's not a look for deer food. No, seriously. But so seriously, welcome.
I totally missed you. That color is great on you. Oh, thank you. You look beautiful. My Barbie pink, your ducking pink.
Works. So go with it. I like this because it's a manmade fabric and it just hangs and it doesn't wrinkle.
Well, it works for you. Yes, really, really good. I just love. Yeah, I'm just I'm really into buying these.
So what have you done since we last spoke? I mean, it's been busy for you. I've been busy. You've been busy.
Get me caught up. So my big thing, I'm starting a radio station. So I'm building the website.
So I'm creating content for the website and laying the website out. And that's just layer upon layer upon layer.
It's like writing a book, actually. It's a similar layering process.
And I have an eye for detail because I've done a lot of book layouts. So that's consuming me.
But in a good way, in a really, really good way. And what about you? No, no, no, we'll get to me.
But you're just you don't get to tease me like that. Oh, my goodness. But yeah, no, for real.
Like give me some more meat on that radio. What is that? So so Zeta 4 Rocks is the name of the radio station.
And this was a radio station that was around back when I was living in South Florida in Pembroke Pines.
And I listened to Zeta and I listened to coast to coast. And so the guy that owned it, Jack Messer,
he shut the radio station down because now we've got Internet radio. It's not the radio anymore as it was because technology is now, you know, surpassed.
So we've bought the name. We're partnering with him and we're bringing Zeta back as an online radio station.
And it's all rock music, any type of rock music. And Frank, who's my partner, he's a DJ and he knows his music.
I mean, his music trivia and he's a great DJ, beautiful voice. And he's my partner on that.
So that's and I've listened to music ever since I was a kid. I mean, I'm just just I've been I've been raised by music.
I really think it's impacted my consciousness, not just listen to us on. I've listened to the poetry.
And so my butt says not just a rock and roll station because I'm writing sermons, I guess you could call them.
And I'm recording those as a half an hour radio show at the weekend for people who are interested in all my spiritual shit.
So your spiritual shit. So I love that. So just so you know, when I was in Jupiter, I put together it's a Facebook group.
I'm not big on Facebook, but back then it was the thing. You know, it's like 15 years ago.
It was the thing. And so I put together this group for live music in South Florida.
And it was specifically for it wasn't for DJs. It wasn't for, you know, karaoke. It was for live music.
So if you were if it was you and your guitar and you're going to show up someplace and play, I wanted people to know about that.
And so that's amazing. That still exists. And there's I just looked at it the other day.
There's like thousands of people using it now, even though I didn't I'm not actively like growing it or anything.
It's just organically growing because there's and it's on Facebook still. Yeah, it's a Facebook group.
And so once you said you'll send me the link to that, I was going to say once you get your your radio station, great.
That could be a beautiful dovetail. Wow. Because I actually wanted to just golly talk about synchronicities.
Just last week, I was thinking how beautiful it would be to make that a Florida wide thing
and just make it, you know, the voice of Florida or the rock voice of Florida or something like that.
So but we can talk about that another time. But that is amazing.
Well, that's really great. And Frank was actually talking about that because what we want to do is discover new rock bands
and then we want to bring them onto the radio show and play their music. So this is in line with that.
Well, then I'm going to actually leverage that because, of course, this show is yours primarily.
I'm your co-host. But but, you know, soul decodes, that's kind of your thing. Mine is Studio 17.
And one of the aspects of that, the template that I'll be using for Studio 17.
And you and I didn't even talk about this is featuring artists. Wow. So this is nuts.
You can't even make that up. You can't make that up.
So this is like so perfect that if you have an artist that wants to be featured, you can feature them on your radio show.
But I can also feature them like a simulcast, you know, with Studio 17, because I want to have that filler music.
I want to have and giving that giving it gave me a platform to new talent.
And I would love to leverage that if it serves them. And I don't need I don't need anything for me.
I just want to feature. Yeah. And we'll we'll talk more about this creative self, because as we get into today's show or today's discussion,
I you know, I talked about what I've done in the past few weeks.
What have you been doing in the past few weeks, young lady? You've been up to some mischief.
Well, you know, I can't think of a time when I'm not.
But but to really go to go into that, I want to tell you a little bit about my experiences in Vegas.
But but to do that, I have to set the stage. OK, that's good. I really have to know.
That's great. I have a good storyteller. And I love that. My sister in law does that.
She said it's really important because you get the nuances.
Yeah, you know, you got the setting, the character, you got all of the the the protagonist with this imagination.
And then you got the antagonist, which is to me that, oh, my goodness, the antagonist is really something in this one.
But it's really the real deal. But so let me just go back and just kind of lay the foundation.
You may know some of this. You may not. But when I was 45 years old,
I decided that I was basically a singer and a trumpet player most of my life, but I decided I was going to play bass guitar.
So I picked up my I bought a bass guitar for my brother for one hundred dollars.
It was a used hand me down bass. And I was so frustrated.
And I just kept at it and kept at it and kept at it. And you taught yourself? I taught myself.
Yeah, just watching YouTube's and, you know, just learning, just sitting and listening to a song and learning and practicing and watching.
So I was part of a band in West Palm Beach area.
Then I started my own band later on in Jupiter, Florida.
And then that ended up being very great. But then we relocated here to central Florida.
And I've been with a couple of bands about two years ago.
I auditioned here in Orlando with arguably some of the best musicians I've ever played with.
Wow. They were absolutely amazing, like studio quality, like precision, melodic musical, the whole thing.
And I actually competed against three other. Also, it's an audition.
It was an audition. I competed against three other bass players. Were they any good?
They were excellent. Gosh. But but I beat them. Nice.
And I was I was the fourth bass player and I ended up getting the spot.
And these musicians were beautiful people, great musicians.
But I didn't feel like the resonance, like I felt like it was like studio.
And I wanted to have something more of a family.
So I was I was really hoping that would be more than it would be.
But I'd stuck in there for a little bit and I got this call from this this individual
that was putting together a Phil Collins Genesis tribute band.
And he was very passionate and he asked me to be the backup bass player.
I said, sure. You know, I loved it. I'm not big on Phil Collins at the time, but I knew some of the music.
I knew some of the music. Genesis. Genesis. I knew the music, but I had no idea the complexity of the bass lines.
And I was just it was a wonderful experience learning those.
So the short story is I I actually bowed out of the Orlando band to be part of this
nationwide effort to be a Phil Collins tribute band.
And for those people who have never listened to the bass lines,
really tuned up the bass on some of the Phil Collins and Genesis songs, they're phenomenal.
They're just so fun. They're intricate. It's a lot of work.
A lot of work, you mean physically when you're playing just with your hands.
Some of it is physical work. I don't play an instrument, but so.
Oh, yeah. So there's a. So do you exercise your fingers and you have to do that before you play?
It's good to limber up. Right. Yeah.
But in terms of like this music, particularly if you play this music for three, four, five hours straight,
like practicing, rehearsing, your hands will be numb.
There's your it's literally a workout. Yeah. But you can look at you can go online and look up
Nathan East or Leland Sklar. You'll know Leland Sklar.
He played for like Jackson Brown and he played for he filled in for Toto and I love Toto.
Yeah. He's just when you when you hear these classic like the music you and I grew up with in the 80s,
you know, 80s, 90s, even the 70s. 70s.
There's great bass lines in the 70s. A lot of that was Leland Sklar playing.
So I was basically for for. Oh, excuse me. Two years.
Somebody loves you. It's my son. I'm going to have to text him.
Give me one second. OK, we're going to pause right there. OK.
OK, sorry about that. OK, so let's pick up.
I've turned the volume down, so I just put on vibrate.
He said, shit, so sorry, because I told him yesterday. I said, God, I remember this stuff.
So we'll just cut all that out. It's all right.
So his last thing I said, you're talking about this this guy and we were about six.
Yes. And the 70s and.
So the 70s, 80s, 90s, those those bass lines were so iconic and they're they're so musical and so
a lot of in many respects, very technical. So over the past couple of years, I've dived into those
and I've learned them. I've studied them. And I'm a much better bass player.
Having done that, like I consider myself like almost like a student of Leland Sklar.
In fact, protégé right here in this room, we had
we had the one of the sax players that's played with Leland Sklar.
He was I was here. He was right next to me. He was we're playing one of the one of the Phil Collins tunes.
And he during the break, he told me he says, Tia Jolie, the way you play bass is very similar to that of Leland Sklar.
And I thought I was emotional. Yeah, I can imagine.
And then he pulls out his phone and he shows a picture of him standing next to Leland Sklar.
He's got his sax and Leland's got his bass. I was blown away.
I was moved to go from somebody who never kind of confirmation on a divine level, isn't it?
Oh, my goodness. And so to go from like never playing bass before at 45 years old to now to him being standing, sitting next to this.
And, you know, this his name was Rob, Rob Maider.
You know, he's got I got pictures of him playing with Donnie and Marie Osmond.
Like this guy's the real deal. So for him to say that to me was very moving.
So so this whole experience in leaving one band that I really wanted to be with to to ramp up with this Phil Collins tribute band was just an amazing thing.
Now, and the name of the band? No, I'm not going to go there. You can't do that.
I'm not going to go there. I'll be patient.
No, there's a reason I'm not going to go. All right. I won't ask too many questions.
But this is going to be part of this soul decode.
OK, there's a soul decode here. Nice. All right.
So I'm not just talking. No, I know. I'm not bringing this up just to hear myself talk.
But there is a there is a punch line here.
And I want to watch you laugh and then cry and get angry and I don't get angry unless someone is unless I'm frustrated.
OK, frustration is when I get angry. Other than that, we'll see.
Well, maybe you won't be angry. Maybe I'm not.
Well, maybe I'll hit you over the head with the mic and I'll be really pissed.
Maybe you won't be able to catch me and that'll frustrate you.
So, OK, so so in the in the in the weeks leading up now, the band was we had we were scheduled for February 1st through February 10th.
We had three gigs lined up in in Vegas and then four gigs lined up in Laughlin.
Where's Laughlin? It's an hour south of Vegas.
So all this is all this is leading up to, you know, so for two years I put this guy invited me to be the business manager.
I put together his website. I did offered my studio. I did everything correct.
I did just kicked kicked butt for this guy and for the effort because I thought it was an admirable effort.
He did an excellent job aggregating world class drummer, singers, musicians like he surrounded himself
with with the best, the best of the best. Like I was humbled to be part of that that group.
The challenge was his singing was average. He's the lead singer. He owns the band.
He's the Phil Collins persona. Did he realize it was average?
The problem is that many of us expressed to him that we need to up the game.
It's tough thing to do though, isn't it? It's very difficult.
And given that he gave me this position as the business manager, I was kind of the point person to say, hey person,
I don't want to use his name because I don't. Yes, no, it's not relevant. Not at all.
But for two months leading up to Vegas, I was like, hey person, we we really need to like work on what's in your monitor.
We need you to hear more of the lead guitar or the keys because his voice was really pitchy.
It was like all over the place. So much so that I brought my brother Jeff in from Chicago.
He's world class audio engineer. He put together this rack behind me.
He's done cruise ships, synagogues, soldier field like he's done major projects. Best audio guy in the world.
And I paid for him to come down here and to take care of us.
And I told him specifically, my brother, Jeff, I said, I have to have this lead singer.
I need to bring his pitch where it needs to be. When he hears too much of himself, he's all over the place.
We need to have him. We need to have the mix so that he hears the band, hears himself relative to the band.
Right. OK. Well, for the months leading up to Vegas, I was telling the lead singer that this is not going to work.
This is like a train wreck. And how did he take it? Was it full of ego? Very, very ego.
Yeah. It's difficult to take criticism. I've suffered with that in the past. I'm much better at it.
But boy, you got to come in slowly with that. I was so gentle. Yeah. I was so gentle.
It's like, what can we do to help you? Yeah. Gosh, it's very delicate.
I talked to I would even talk to the drummer and we'd have these personal conversations about I'd say, hey, Matt, how do I present this?
How do I bring this up in a way that I don't want to damage him? I don't want to hurt. I want to fulfill him.
I want to bolster him and bring him to a position of strength and power. Yes. If you're going to lead this amazing band.
And over the course of a couple of months, things were not progressing like he was. His pitch was all over the place.
It was. Was he having his voice trained and having lessons? He was taking lessons in Orlando. He's doing all this stuff.
But now here's what happened. I bought tickets to Vegas.
This guy's wife was supposed to go. So I had Robin going because she was going to be by herself.
The guy's wife. I thought, well, Robin can come. So I was trying to do everything to support him and his dream and his family.
Ten days prior, he notified us that his wife's not going. So now now my spouse is going to be there alone.
I'm like, that's not OK. Yeah. A week prior to departing for Vegas or a couple months prior, he basically told me.
If I want your opinion on anything, I'll ask you. Otherwise, I don't want this is like a caricature for ego.
Yeah, right. If I want your opinion about something, I'll ask you.
I started wondering, it's like, what's this about? Because if you're for business partners and I'm with no collaboration, I did.
He feels offended. Yeah. He feels indignant indignation. And for like two years, I was just like kicking by.
Like I redid their website. I did. He's not appreciating everything that you've bought.
He's just so offended. His ego is doing that. He can't even see the light at this point.
So fast forward one week prior to the Vegas gig via text. He fired me. Goodness. Not refundable tickets.
So Robin and I are like, OK, I guess we're going to go to Vegas because I've got these non refundable tickets.
Right. So lemons out of lemon. And I had Jeff and his wife. Jeff and his wife flying from Chicago.
Yeah. So we had some time share points. How did you process this initially?
Were you like, what the fuck? Or were you... Well, I saw some signs and symptoms.
Oh, OK. So it wasn't a huge surprise. Well, it was actually a relief. Oh, nice. I had immediate relief because I was carrying a burden.
Yeah, of course. It's like, because I'm that person. I don't want to go on stage and suck. Yeah.
That's like not a good look. It's not a good look. Right. So. Well, feeling.
And so, yeah. So I was I was not surprised because many of the people in the band approached me and said, hey, what, you know, why is he behaving this way?
Not just towards me, but towards everybody is like this tyrant. This. So did he fire you and keep everyone else?
Yes, pretty much. In fact, the bass lines are there. They're difficult bass lines.
He just had a hired gun bass player from Vegas who did a very good job.
He had two different bass players. It's not the bass lines. It's his voice. It's a problem, isn't it?
So when you listen to the music, which I'm not going to tell you the name of the band, it's not relevant.
Yes, because this is a soul decode. Yeah. What's relevant is, you know, what happened here?
Well, how does this pertain to my soul and my journey? And the short answer is that I came out of it grandly.
And you were relieved because you didn't want to be a part of all that bullshit ego energy. So what happened? So there would be relief.
So day one in Vegas. So I love the fact that you decided to go. It's like, great, we'll just go and.
Oh, yeah, we had a great time. We went. I didn't go to any of the shows.
They're a bit overrated, aren't they? So what I did was my brother and his wife and the two of us just hung out and had fun and breakfast.
And it was a little bit cold and rainy, believe it or not. How was it? In Vegas. But we made the best of it.
But some of the members of the band actually kept in touch with me and let me know how things were going and things like that.
Well, guess what? The first night they almost got fired from the rest of the gigs. Why? He was so bad.
Yes, because his ego is in control. Nothing good in the quantum field is going to open up for you. Oh, my goodness.
Yeah. And this is not a happy thing for me because I wanted them. It's kind of predictable considering his mindset, though.
This is not going to go well for you because look at the mindset that's operating your system. So this doesn't surprise me.
Yeah. So I want you to talk more about. Yeah, because I'm going to carry on, though, because I'm going to tell you the punch line.
I'm going to give you the punch line in a moment and then I'm going to get let you interpret it.
But during the whole course, I was like I would literally have like one of the guitar.
There's two guitar players, one of them was like he was really struggling because he saw like this like driving a driving your vehicle full speed
towards a rock or a tree like he knew he saw it coming. It's stressful. The whole band was stressed.
Well, the takeaway was this. The first night was abhorrent. People were leaving the performance.
Oh, the the guy who actually hired them threatened to fire them. Oh, my God. It was terrible.
So but these are my friends like these. Yeah. You know, and even though the lead singer was like being a dick jerk.
Yeah. These are still your friends and you still wanted to bless them. And I really wanted them to do well.
I even so you went to the performance. No, I did not know. But they were telling you this.
They were telling me and sending me video clips and stuff. They're like, oh, my God, this is like a train wreck.
Please help me. And the lead singer, the one not the lead singer, but one of the backup singers who's basically a lead singer.
She and her friend do the Pink Floyd backup vocals. They're amazing.
But they she basically was like she texted me and said, you know, she's kind of jealous that I was fired.
So she's so adorable. Her dad was actually one of the producers for the Rolling Stones.
So big, big names. So anyway, so they struggled their way through the three Vegas performances.
And then they ended up taking a couple of days off. And then they went to Laughlin day one, their first performance, Laughlin.
After the performance, they were basically the guy who hired them for that performance.
And then they railed on the lead singer for about an hour, just completely destroyed him for what? For lack of performance.
Right. This is not what it's kind of what you'd been trying to talk to him about prior to all this.
For two months, I was sharing with him, you know, what we have to do to make him not be pitchy.
And it but here's the punch line. They had four performances scheduled in Laughlin.
They got put on notice after the first one. They were granted the second one.
Oh, that's so stressful, though. You're going to really freak out on the second one because everything's on the line.
They didn't do the third and fourth because they were fired. The band was literally fired.
And by all reports, there were people like the guitar players, friends, who basically said that was they went to the performance.
They said that was the I've been to many Vegas performances. That was like the worst I've ever been to.
And so to me, in my world, in terms of the field, that was like instant karma.
That was what it's not karma. It's actually energy. Karma is different. We can talk about low grade energy.
This is this is where I get to hand you the ball because I'm in a tremendous like a space of peace.
And I'm actually very sad. There's this level of sadness because that chapter is closed and a new one's opening.
And it's that interim. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And no sooner. I didn't even get home.
I didn't even return from Vegas. And it would be it wouldn't even be sadness.
It'd be more like a loss because you've lost the band and the friendships and that was part of it.
So there's a loss you're feeling. Well, the friendships with the band still persist.
There's I've actually had offers already to be in other bands. So I'm going to land on my feet.
So I wonder what's going to happen to this dude who's fronting this band.
So I wonder whether he's going to sit there and have a, you know, what they typically call a come to Jesus moment.
I wouldn't use that vernacular. But at some point, like what is going on here?
Is he spiritually inclined to any type of self analysis?
Well, I've come to find out that this version, this iteration of this cover, this tribute band was his fourth attempt.
There are three bands before us that he completely gutted. I mean, this is still with Phil Collins.
So I don't know how many times he's going to do this. It's not relevant.
I really want him to be happy and healthy. I really want him to achieve this dream, this goal of his.
I think that if he changes a few things, he could probably realize his goals, but he's not open to it yet.
Yeah, I mean, pride is and that's what it is.
I mean, I've gone through things in my life where I cannot stand criticism and my ego mind will roar up
and defend itself vigorously. And then I got to the point where that's ridiculous, Sarah,
because my soul mind is coming online. It stopped having such a thin skin and constructive criticisms.
OK, and people always assume this is Jordan Peterson, always assume somebody knows something you don't really good advice.
So I'm much more open to taking criticism. And it's not even criticism, advice, guidance to someone no more than I do.
But I've been in this guy's shoes. I've been I mean, I haven't maybe taken it as far as that,
but I found criticism and advice difficult to deal with because I took it personally.
And that was just an ego structure of pride. This is going to be something we're going to talk more about,
because I love how I love how you talk about your ego and your two programs running the show, just just kind of dancing together,
kind of pushing and pulling and, you know, kind of swirling. Well, they should be when they're in unison.
You don't have to defy the ego. The ego is who you are. But they should be dancing in unison, not coming off.
They should be melding together. That would be I think if I were to define the word enlightenment,
it would be your ego and your soul, the Holy Spirit running in unison.
So this is going to be curious if if Jordan Peterson ever listens to this podcast, if we'll send it to him,
if if he can get to the point where his ego permits him to apply his own his own suggestion that there may be somebody who knows something that he doesn't.
Do you think he's not willing to listen to other people? Do you think he's closed off to that?
I mean, the guy is a superhuman in terms of his intellect and the way he can bury.
Well, I mean, if you ask him, then if you ask him that, he'll agree with you. Yeah.
But he deploys so many logical fallacies. He he is unwilling and unable to self assess.
And I know you're a fan of his talk to Sam Harris. Well, I know you're a fan of his and I'm not here.
I'm not here to disparage him. But it's not. I mean, I think he said some most lucid, constructive things.
Now, I haven't heard what you heard and I don't share the same opinion, but I'm not saying that you're wrong.
But someone doesn't have to be all right for me to respect them. It doesn't have to be like that for me.
And I think self analysis, I think you could be right.
You've got to detach from ego, come back down to presence and then observe your own mind.
And I don't think maybe he's not observing his mind. So he's full on in ego structures.
I think he's done a great service to a lot of people.
But there's probably ideas that, you know, are wrong and they're a fallacy.
And but then I could say that about my own ideas.
I hope to self correct. And what you're saying is that Jordan might not be self correcting.
And to be fair, in fairness, there are many, many, many things that Jordans put out there that I absolutely respect and admire.
Some of them are related to like, like I'm a libertarian in terms of my structure.
I believe in power to the people. I believe that the structures, the powers that be should not be telling us what we can say or what we can't say, when we can say it, what we do with our bodies.
So in that regard, I think he's done some beautiful things.
What I'm saying is that when he when he puts things out into when he puts things out in terms of his opinions, what he's saying oftentimes conflicts with what he is doing.
And I think that it's important that if you're going to make a statement like you just said earlier that that that perhaps somebody knows something we should be open to somebody knows something you don't know.
He is. It's been my observation that he is unwilling to explore those potentialities that well, in that case, the teacher teaches what he still has yet to learn.
But this is not about Jordan, because I do respect him in certain realms.
But he's on the potters wheel like everyone else. Right. He's he's malleable. He's working his way in life.
And yeah, and the world has a way of balancing the ego out, which is a beautiful thing.
You'll get bored with it after a while. You balance yourself out because you'll be bored by your structures.
So let's go back. I really want to get to get your decode on this because, you know, I feel like I've operated from from a sense of altruism.
I feel like I've really done great for the band. My heart really wants them to do well.
Now, to answer your question about where's this leave the band?
Well, right after the event, they actually contacted me several individuals saying, do you still have access to the website?
Because I want my image and my likeness to be removed. So they've they've basically this version of the band is there's been a mutiny.
It's not like it's out of my control because I just want people to be happy and healthy.
And I do want this lead singer to fulfill his dream. So there's no ill intent here. But I do need to serve those people.
But given that whole thing, which I didn't really want to go in that depth.
But but I do think that as the as people who are listening to this go through life, there's going to be times where they they do things for a month, a year, two years, 20 years where they they work and they do things with good spirit, with good intent.
And then the world gives them a shit sandwich. And, you know, all of us have to interpret that.
What do I even do anything? You've created it. We're not being doled out a shit sandwich.
We somehow in our energy created that. So what happened to this guy was his creation.
So by by extension, though, you're suggesting that I created the shit sandwich that I ate.
Well, you have served me. Yes. I didn't need it.
Remember, you were relieved. There's plenty of opportunities for you to have another band.
You could have been in a service mission to this this band. It could have gone either way. This might not even be a lesson for you.
This might be about him. And you've been embroiled into a situation where you came in, you wanted to manage, you wanted to give your expertise.
So you can't see this necessarily. You still have to examine it. But you can't see this necessarily as being a lesson for you.
It sounds like this guy is the one that needs to do the evaluation and you facilitated his lesson. And it felt rough for you because now you're going through some loss.
You weren't expecting this. Maybe you've got to when you I don't know if you've been fired in the past.
And that's not a nice feeling is if you're if you're fired. Right. So but it might just be about this guy's growth.
And you were there at the right time and you'll through it. And you've learned a lot.
You must have done. And that will all just upload into your head and then just move on to whatever else the universe has got.
So I do have to tell you that I think you nailed one of the one of the most significant outcomes.
And the reason I wasn't upset about being fired was it was relief. It was a relief. There's no doubt. Mission accomplished.
That's probably why. But when I when I look backwards, like my previous band was up in Mount Dora and they played rock and roll from the 60s and 70s.
You know, just the Allman Brothers and things like that. And, you know, we'd play like some Jethro Tull.
Like some of these some of these bass lines are very difficult. In fact, that band wanted to play Jethro Tull songs.
But I was the only bass player that could do it. And that's why it's like because there's some intricate bass lines.
But even then, you know, when I left that band, I was amazed at how I felt because when I went into the band, the discussion I had with my spouse was I don't even know if I'm good enough for this band.
That's great. And then really great. It's great to say that. Right. But I seriously like they were such good musicians.
And I'm just humbly looking at this going these bass lines are so difficult. But I always tell people it's like, I mean, I don't even read bass music.
It's I listen to it and I play it, you know, and I study it and I play it again and again and again.
In fact, that joke is Robin knows bass lines, my bass lines as well as I do.
But the point is, like, I became a better person from that the band in Mount Dora that played the 60s and 70s. But this experience, when I look back at how I became better, I became a better friend to my bandmates.
I'm a much better bass player. I feel like I can go play anything right now. That's great. Yeah, I just so confidence. It was so myself.
But also managing I'm better with websites. I'm better with audio. I'm I'm better in so many ways, even though I didn't get that iconic shot playing in Vegas as a bass player yet.
I didn't get that yet. Yet. God bless you. You're so sweet. So so so anyway, I'm just saying that I have like this infinite number.
Let me let me ask you these numbers of blessings that are just so so when you're so what did you fuck up at?
What did you what do you look back? Do you wish I shouldn't have said this? Did I mishandle this? Did my ego pull on this?
Have you gone and seen anything that you would have changed so that could have changed the outcome?
Anything power? I'm not talking about a minor little conversation. That's a brilliant question.
And I've had that level of introspection like for a very long time. The short answer is I wouldn't change a thing.
And I'm perfectly glad things happened as they were. If I would have gone backwards, the only thing I would have changed is something that I've experienced most of my life is that sometimes I stick with bad friendships or bad relationships longer than I should.
So the takeaway would be, you know, I've got this this idea that I can make things better, things better.
But sometimes I do more. I do more for the other people than they're willing to do for themselves.
And this happened with my previous marriage, where I was busting my back trying to get everything done and try to make things right and trying to do everything myself.
But, you know, the other person in the relationship has got their part too.
Quite. And when I look back at my life, like I'm 60 years old now and I'm like, when I look backwards, I think that's the lesson that I feel like I should have learned early on is like, you know, relationships are two way streets.
And, you know, you can't do more for somebody than they're willing to do for themselves.
And that and they've got to take responsibility for that, haven't they?
So I think that if I still don't think I would have changed anything because I'm that person that I'm not a quitter.
And so you wouldn't have resigned from the band prior to being fired.
I mean, two weeks before, were you edging around?
I wouldn't have. I wouldn't have resigned with with gigs on the book.
That's just irresponsible. Yes, that's not kind.
But if but if I did not have the gigs on the book, I would have quit.
In fact, I told Robin, excuse me, before, even before I was, quote, fired that after these gigs are done, I'm done.
Oh, really? Yeah. So I was I was of a mind that I was going to leave anyway.
Yeah. So it was kind of a relief for me.
I think I think the thing that you have to remember, things are just sometimes for seasons, there's a season and that season ends.
Then another season begins. So holding on to something which is belonging to a previous season can be a bit grabby.
You're grabbing onto that. But you just have to learn to let go.
Now, we don't know what the next season brings. So there's a little bit of fear in that.
Sometimes people fear the unknown. I actually love the unknown. I think it's very exciting.
So that was just a season. And in future, you might if that happens again, you could let that friendship go or however that works out or.
I mean, I guess you could hang on to something because I have friendships where I'm hanging on because I know I'm still helping that person.
It's not bringing me anything at all, but I know I'm helping that person.
So I don't want to mention any names, but that's what is going on in my life at the moment.
So sometimes you can hang on to friendships, but the friendship I'm talking about is nearly 30 years old.
So it's slightly different. But yeah, some friendships come and go and seasons change.
So I really love what you just touched upon. And that's that, you know, we do talk about relationships being two way streets.
But I do know that there are some relationships where I can pay it forward in this direction.
And then but the flow comes from the other direction. And so we can talk about that briefly.
But but I do have people in my life where where it is a one way street.
But and that's OK, because sometimes it's supposed to be so.
So, yeah, but I want to discriminate because I shared this with my children.
You know, I've got four children and four grandchildren.
And so with my children, when they were young, I taught them early on.
Hopefully they remember. But, you know, there's a difference between charity and welfare.
Oh, charity and welfare. And, you know, it's like, well, what's the difference?
And I draw the line basically charity is when you do something for somebody else that they cannot do for themselves.
OK. OK. So welfare is when you do something for somebody that they could otherwise do for themselves.
Interesting. I like that. Yeah. So what I try to do is I try to assess is what I'm doing something for them that they can't do,
in which case I have no problem being a one way street. But my game plan would be to help them reach within themselves
so they can eventually do it for themselves. So there's this level of inspiration or empowerment, you know, encouragement, encouragement, being a cheerleader.
Those things I think are important because you can start off in the charity,
but then you have somebody that's, you know, a lead singer that fails to progress. At some point you have to cut, cut, cut, at some point you have to cut and leave.
Yeah. That's a great way of laying that out. So that's that's kind of my thing is.
But if somebody is say that they're they're handicapped or they're they're I don't I'm not a politically correct person, but, you know, say they're they're mentally incapable of doing something.
I will help them as long as I'm able to help them. Like I will stick in there and help them with the moment you're seeing that they should be capable of doing it.
They're now using you as a crutch. And that's when you pull back. And it's not digital. It's not all or nothing. But I can start weaning myself. Yes. I'll start winning. Yeah.
So here's an example in in real time. I found I think you know this, but back in January of 2020, I stopped taking money from my consultations.
So I was charging $150 an hour and I just went zero. I love that. Because Spirit told me it's like, you know, I've got these skills and capabilities and knowledge. None of it's mine.
Yeah, but it all comes back anyway. It's just it's if you give it here, it comes back from here. There's no such thing as giving it is receiving.
So I think it's beautiful that you're not charging. Oh, it was the best really good choice that you have no idea like the amount of receiving. I didn't do it to receive. I know.
But it's still that it's still a universal law, though. And you've tapped into it. And you can talk to people. People don't have 150 bucks. That's a lot of money to a lot of people who are suffering.
So the fact that is so beautiful. It's really charming. And so what I found myself, what I found happening, Sarah, is that I've had I have people where I was falling into this thing where I was doing more for them than they would do for themselves.
So I had to set up an algorithm or some sort of a filtering type process. So what I do now is I've got a couple like as soon as somebody contacts me because like I was at a networking event.
This morning and people contact me and they want help and they want assistance with their with their health and wellness. And it's free.
But what I the very first thing I do is I drop them a six page PDF, six pages. Anybody can read a fifth grader can read six pages. Right. It's very simple. It just explains the seven stages of disease.
Yes, I've read that. That was excellent. So the reason I do that is if they say they want help and I send them a six page document and say, please read this six page document and just drop me a text when you're done.
If they don't do that, this is evidence they don't want to help themselves. So I use that kind of as a filter filter. Yeah.
And then if they do get back with me and hey, this is great. Thank you so much. I had no idea. There's so much information. Now they've got the right questions to ask. Now they're coming loaded.
Yeah. And now I can say, great. Here's the next step. Right. And I'll send them a maybe a 10 page, a 10 minute questionnaire, just about, you know, the stuff recommend a movie or recommend.
I did game changers because yeah, so just I want them to take the next step is the point because this way it's a dance, but you want them to self motivate to some degree. You can't keep pulling on them.
And then this allows me to ascertain. Am I wasting your time? Am I wasting my time? So what are your thoughts on all that? Sounds great to me. It sounds a very practical way of running a business, which is what you're doing.
You're being of service. You're going to have to put some filters on. You can't just flog a dead horse or a horse that's been dead for a week. You know, you've got so that sounds good.
So this is awesome. Well, thank you for being a sounding board. Well, you're welcome. For me, I'm very interesting. It's fascinating. Let's just wish that the guy that's fucking up his band and all the rest of it.
Let's wish him well. I feel sorry for him because I've been in similar situations where my ego is just totally dominant and I'm not hearing the messages from the universe. I'm not hearing the people in my place.
And that is rough. And I feel bad for him, but he'll get there. I mean, we're reincarnating over and over again. If he doesn't get it in this life, he'll get it in the next. But sometimes when shit hits the fan, we do wake up.
So I hope he does. And I wish him well. Yeah. And same here. I think the whole band, even though the band mates kind of mutinied and laughed.
When I laugh, it's not because it's funny. It's just I see. Why do I laugh at crappy things? I just make sense of it. When you just say there's a mutiny. I mean, a lot of shit went down.
Well, he was the captain after the other. Think about a mutiny, though. I use the term specifically. You're the captain. You're on a ship. Nobody can get off that ship. They had to go. They had to perform. There's no swimming.
And now they've got to gang up on you because now you've ruined it for them. So they didn't. It wasn't really a gang up. A mutiny doesn't mean gang up. It means that I'm gone. I'm out.
You're bailing out. A mutiny means that you're leaving. I thought a mutiny was when you gather with other people and then it's like move over, pal. There's a new captain on this ship. And I think that's the mutiny.
We'll have to look at that. We'll have to ask. Yeah, I would say the difference would be are we at sea or at port? Because if you're at sea, you have to take over the command.
Ah, OK. But if you're at port, everyone's like, what happens if you're on the Starship Enterprise? You just do your little pod. Yeah, get out of here. I miss your laugh and your giggle.
It's been wonderful. It's lovely talking to you as always. So what do you want to do next? Have a cigarette break. OK. All right. So we're going to take a break.
And let's connect again really sometime soon. Yeah, let's do that. I'm looking forward to it. And we won't talk about band stuff anymore.
Well, unless it comes up, because I'm going to be thinking about what you've said. So I might have a couple of theories or questions because I get inspired by conversations like these.
But we've got so many other things to talk about. Let's connect. And as far as a Vegas gig, that's in the future, baby. OK, let's do it. Manifest that.
You know what we could do is we can take this show. Let's take the show on the road. Why not? Why not? Holy moly. Let's get a following. Hey, all y'all listening. Oh, you need to tell people about the show because we're going to go to Vegas.
We'll have to talk about that. That sounds like a great idea. Thank you so much for coming out today. OK, be well. All right. OK, you too. Bye.
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