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Welcome back to the Ameropean at Heart podcast where we dive deep into sharing

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everything crazy travel stories, dating adventures, culture fusions, and plenty

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of takeaways to entertain and feed your inner curiosity and travel bug.

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Hello, hello on this very first day of October. Crazy to think that it's already

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that time of year again. I hope you're doing well and I thank you so much from

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the bottom of my heart for tuning in. Today we are going to be semi opening a

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can of worms and really diving into a chapter of my life that has significantly

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impacted the way I view everything in this world and that is my previous life

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and time spent living in Turkey and my love hate relationship with Turkey. For

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those of you who don't know I lived in Istanbul Turkey on and off for a period

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of two years. It was really incredible, eye-opening, heartwarming, and just

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amazing but also really tumultuous, emotionally draining, and was one of the

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loneliest and darkest times of my whole life. I could seriously write an entire

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book and have an entire podcast on all things Turkey alone because this was a

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time filled with unbelievable life events that I can't believe actually

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happened and if you know me you may already know exactly what I'm talking

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about. If you don't know however well we'll get more into that sort of

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juiciness in another episode to come but for today I wanted to share and reflect

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on seven things I love and seven things I hate about Turkey as a country and

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place I used to call a home. I believe that Turkish people and anyone else

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living in Turkey will understand and agree on most or maybe even all of these

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love-hate things that I'm going to dissect today. I hope that by the end of

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this episode you will become a little more educated and aware of facts about

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Turkey, Turkish people, and their culture that you may have no idea about and

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that despite the things I personally hate about Turkey that I will share that

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you'll be at least a little more interested in one day discovering its

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amazing inexplicable beauty for yourself. Let's go ahead and start tearing apart

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these seven things I love and seven things I hate about Turkey. For those of

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you who want to get straight high and dry to the point the seven things I

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love about Turkey are as follows. I love the great weather, the people, the

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importance of hospitality, big coffee and tea culture, incredible food, diverse

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tourism, and overall stronger family values compared to America and even a

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lot of Europe. Now the seven things I hate about Turkey are as follows. The

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constant economic problems, that's a really big one, political and government

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tensions, higher judgment from society, close-mindedness, more fierce jealousy,

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the expectation of following certain traditions like for marriage, and the

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difficulty for Turkish people to get a tourist visa to go to Europe, America, and

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other places. Being the American that I am I have to start with the positives,

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the things I love and adore about Turkey. The first thing I love about Turkey is

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the great weather. For me coming from the southeast US the climate and weather in

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Istanbul aren't all that different from what I grew up with. The summers in

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Istanbul and Turkey in general are full of this terrible humidity and hot hell

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like Georgia where I'm from and I was never a fan of that in Turkey. But the

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number of sunny days, mild winters, and the bonus of living very close to the sea

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was just awesome. It's no wonder that the people are so warm and so kind which

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brings me to thing number two that I really love about Turkey and that's the

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people. People in Istanbul are of course like people in many other big busy

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cities because Istanbul is very crowded and fast-paced like New York, London,

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Paris, basically every big city on this planet. But there's still something

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different about Turkish people. They are just so much warmer, more emotional, and

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sensitive than many other people I've ever met and known and I love that

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because I myself am also very warm, emotional, and sensitive. They are

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different than Americans and many Europeans. Turkish people take you into

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their homes and make you feel appreciated and like you are the center

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of attention even if you don't speak Turkish. They always make you something

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to drink or cook you something and give you meze which are basically Turkish

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small plates and appetizers if you don't know. They love love love love love

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love love sharing. This is so important to them and I incorporate this further

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sense of Turkish warmth into my own hosting and get-togethers today here in

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America. This also ties into the third thing I love about Turkey and that's the

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importance of hospitality. I cannot preach and praise Turkish people enough

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for this. They take home the gold for being the best at hospitality ever and

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I sure do wish and believe that Americans and Europeans can learn many

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things from Turkish people. Even many of the guys are really good about making

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sure you always have some Turkish tea that you always have something to drink

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and that you're okay and not hungry. Turkish people want their homes to be

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spotless and perfect for their guests to show that they care about your comfort

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and presence and showing that they've put in the effort and love into their

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homes just for you. They go above and beyond and I oftentimes miss that level

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of importance and attention given to the guests. The fourth thing I love about

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Turkey again tying into the last thing about hospitality is the big emphasis on

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Turkish coffee and Turkish tea culture. I love love love love it couldn't love it

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more. I even to this day still prepare and drink Turkish coffee in my American

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home. I love fienjans which if you're not Turkish and you don't know what the hell

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I'm talking about a fienjan is basically an espresso size coffee mug like a super

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super tiny little mug and it's so cute. Turkish people and companies manufacture

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them to look so classy and stylish and there are so many beautiful ones. I love

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how it's so customary to enjoy a Turkish coffee in the middle of the workday or

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afternoon when relaxing or in the evenings after you finished your dinner.

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I also love Turkish tea and how Turkish people enjoy Turkish tea with everything.

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How they have it with their breakfast but also at all other times of the day

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too. They put Turkish tea in these special shaped tea glasses called

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incibele glasses so those are hour shaped hour shaped what is that? Hour

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glass shaped glasses and you also feel high and classy when drinking out of

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these. I really totally miss these too. The fifth thing I love about Turkey is

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the food. Let me tell you my most favorite food and cuisine ever is Turkish

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food. I fell head over heels for all things Turkish food when I lived there.

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Turkish people's emphasis on fresh ingredients like in Italy is second to

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none. They incorporate tons of garlic, yogurt, tomatoes, olives, brek, fresh

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veggies, meat and a lot of delicious spices into their food. What I love most

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of all about Turkish food is Turkish freaking breakfast. Oh my gosh! If you

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have never had Turkish breakfast before you will never understand how amazing

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and hard it is to go back to regular American or European brunch once you've

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had it. It's a whole culinary experience and a freaking incredible feast filled

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with all sorts of yummy stuff. I could make a whole episode on Turkish food

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alone. You just have to try it and believe me. The sixth thing I love about

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Turkey is the diverse tourism. Turkey just thrives on tourism. There are

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landscapes in Turkey that I have never been able to find anywhere else in the

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world throughout my travels. Cappadocia is to die for with its hot air balloons

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and rock-like landscape and caves. Pamukkale is like a dream with its white

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limestone rocks and hot springs. Istanbul is majestic with the bosphorus and

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boats and city life. Antalya is a mecca for beaches. The north of Turkey is super

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green with cozy jaw-dropping beautiful mountains and Izmir in the west of

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Turkey offers access to beaches and destinations that share the same ocean

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as Greece. So it's basically like going to Greece at a discount. All of it çok

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çok çok güzel as Turkish people would say meaning so beautiful. The seventh and

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last thing I love about Turkey is the overall stronger ties to family values

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and the family unit. I love the importance placed on family in Turkey. I

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love how many families are closer in connection compared to what I've seen in

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America and in different parts of Europe. I love how Turkish parents are often more

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involved in their children's lives and it's not uncommon to be in your 30s and

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still living with your parents in Turkey. I love how many parents are always

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willing to do anything even beyond their means to help their children and vice

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versa. This is beautiful and now we will transition to the seven things I hate

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about Turkey. I don't mean for this next part of the episode to be depressing and

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sad but I do want to highlight and talk about the reality of this otherwise

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seemingly beautiful all-in-one inclusive type of place that Turkey can be. It's

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definitely different for the people living in Turkey compared to the tourists

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who come and take a vacation or have a holiday there. The first and top thing I

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hate and feel sad about when it comes to Turkey is the constant economic problems

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there. I also think that this is the number one reason why many talented,

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intelligent Turkish people seek employment opportunities in Europe and

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America very far away from their families. Money you earn even when you're

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a doctor or a dentist or a lawyer or an engineer isn't necessarily all that much

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more compared to if you're none of those things. I once met a Turkish doctor with

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20 years of experience who worked in the east of Turkey. He told me that his

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take-home salary at that time was about a thousand US dollars a month. Like what?

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A doctor with 20 freaking years of experience working in Turkey and he only

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gets a thousand US dollars a month? I had Turkish friends who studied civil

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engineering and worked as engineers with university degrees as well as someone

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who I know was doing his PhD in law working in the law school department as

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a research assistant and all of them earned between 500 and 600 US dollars a

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month. Crazy different place when it comes to Turkey and the economic

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situation. This is unthinkable in America and in Western Europe but that is the

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reality. You just can't progress and grow in your career in an environment that

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can't pay or reward you what you deserve and it comes down to the economic

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downfalls and limitations caused by high inflation and instability. The second

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thing I hate about Turkey is the political and government tensions that

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it tends to have with a number of countries directly around it especially

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Greece but also other parts of Europe and the US. Because of Turkey being an

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Islamic country nearby many Christian based countries. It's also like many

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other places around the world super corrupt we know about that and I won't

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get too deep into it but Turkey notoriously isn't the freest place in

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terms of human rights and I'll stop it right there. Which brings me to the third

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thing I hate about Turkey and that's the level of judgment and superficiality of

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a large part of Turkish society compared to Europe and the US. I'll give you a

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personal example of mine. When I traveled a lot I basically lived out of two

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backpacks and often wore more basic clothes. There was a Turkish guy in my

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life at the time whose family I spent a good bit of time around. They told me

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this out of love and I understand that now but at the time they basically said

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that the sweater that I wore often looked like it came from a dumpster. The

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Turkish guy told me that my taste in clothes was like an old woman and that

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his sister-in-law a Turkish girl was always so perfect stylish and classy and

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bought the best things ever from Trendyol which is basically like the

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Turkish Amazon for clothes. I felt that I also had to be perfect all the time

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in order to be accepted by this Turkish family. In America and arguably also in

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most of Europe nobody gives a damn about what you're wearing at the supermarket

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or anywhere else. You come and go as you are and that doesn't define your worth.

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In Turkey I feel like that's different. Also in Turkey whenever I had guests at

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the home I was staying in I had to wear these classy uncomfortable and kind of

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tacky honestly black heels for house shoes and not go barefoot or even have

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socks. I always had to wear slippers otherwise I was always told this I may

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get sick if I don't. Anyway I could go on and on about this too but I'm gonna

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stop it here and move on to the next point. The fourth thing I hate about

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Turkey is the closed mindedness of society. I think these days it's getting

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better but there is still a long way to go in Turkey. I really hate how if

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someone is gay or a lesbian and Turkish society knows about it you can

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essentially be barred from job promotions and working your way up the

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corporate ladder. You may even be barred from getting a job period. Turkish

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society in addition to that will shun you. Nobody is going to kill you of course

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like it's not it's not that extreme or so I really hope that that's right but

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the LGBTQ community definitely has a rougher time in Turkey. I also personally

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don't agree with the idea that two people shouldn't try living together

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before marriage because this is super common and customary in the majority of

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Europe and the US but I don't want to step on any toes here. This is just my

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personal opinion. The fifth thing I hate about Turkey is this extra fierce

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jealousy in the air and the dramatic way that Turkish people take their emotions

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out over it. Jealousy is no stranger to any country of course but in Turkey

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jealousy is taken to a whole other level. Turkish people are extremely emotional

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as I stated much earlier. There are tons of murders that happen in Turkey where

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many men will kill women time and time again because of even suspicions of

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infidelity and simple jealousy as well as domestic disputes and domestic

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violence. Women's rights in Turkey in this department at least are just

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abominable. They're not bad in every department like many of us Westerners may

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think but yeah this one is just no bad. It's not just with couples though it's

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also with family. A Turkish girl will get super jealous and complain about her for

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example sister-in-law if the mother-in-law shows favoritism or more

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love to that sister-in-law and not her. I know this because I have witnessed this

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so it's a real thing. The sixth thing I hate about Turkey is this predetermined

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expectation of following certain traditions like with marriage. Not every

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young couple today may want to follow those exact traditions if they don't

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want to. Not every young couple wants or more importantly can afford a huge

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flashy wedding and invite like 500 plus people which is really normal for many

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Turkish weddings. Not every couple's family can have the means to provide the

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bride and her family with gold which is another thing. I hate how there are many

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Turkish parents who will judge a future daughter-in-law by how well she can cook

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for my son and how well she can clean for my son. Some Turkish parents care

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also if one person in the couple doesn't have married parents or doesn't have a

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father or doesn't have a mother in their life because they are concerned about

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who will be a second father or second mother to my son or to my daughter. I'm

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not meaning to mock people by the way but really I have witnessed all of this

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shit so I'm speaking from experience. The seventh and last thing I hate about

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Turkey is the difficulty that many young educated and good intentional Turkish

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people experience to get a tourist visa to travel Europe and to the US. I really

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really hate how the very few people in Turkey who abuse this privilege ruin it

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for everybody and that is not fair. I have Turkish friends with stable

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reputable jobs who would love to travel to America and even to Europe but they

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are denied tourist visas multiple times for who knows whatever reason. Like you

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deny a Turkish doctor for example who properly applies, pays money to the

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embassy, provides documents to travel in a country whereas you can just let

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others roam across borders of other countries and with none of that I won't

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get deeper into this and leave things there but that makes me very sad. We are

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now finally through both love and hate lists. Before we wrap up this episode I

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just want to emphasize that despite just listening to the seven things I

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personally hate about Turkey I really hope that you'll consider visiting

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Turkey for all of the great and even better things I mentioned and more. Turkey

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is a place that I really can't recommend to the world enough especially as a

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tourist filled Mecca with so much bang for your buck and especially if you're

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coming from Europe or North America. Turkey is a place that many Americans

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especially know very very little about because on American TV Turkey is

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portrayed very badly and that's due to some of the hate reasons I mentioned

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just a little bit earlier. I will tell you I used to be one of those Americans

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who didn't have a clue about Turkey and I used to think so badly about it but

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Turkish people I befriended and met during my time there changed my life, my

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heart and my perspective about their country forever. I have so much more to

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share about my own life, my own highs, lows and everything in between in Turkey

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but we will get to that in another episode. For now we are finished for today.

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I hope that you took something new and insightful from this episode and that

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you enjoyed. If you liked listening to this content and would like to hear

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more or if you have a specific request for a travel or life topic that you like

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to dive deeper into then please do let me know on Instagram at Amero Pian at

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heart or on my host account at Mary Grace Crawford. I would love to hear your

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feedback and to create future content that best helps, entertains and serves

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you. Thank you so much for tuning in with me once again today. I look forward to

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being back here next Tuesday with you again for another fun adventurous episode.

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Much love from the Ameropean at heart.