Welcome back to the Ameropean at Heart podcast where we dive deep into sharing
everything crazy travel stories, dating adventures, culture fusions, and plenty
of takeaways to entertain and feed your inner curiosity and travel bug.
Hello, hello on this very first day of October. Crazy to think that it's already
that time of year again. I hope you're doing well and I thank you so much from
the bottom of my heart for tuning in. Today we are going to be semi opening a
can of worms and really diving into a chapter of my life that has significantly
impacted the way I view everything in this world and that is my previous life
and time spent living in Turkey and my love hate relationship with Turkey. For
those of you who don't know I lived in Istanbul Turkey on and off for a period
of two years. It was really incredible, eye-opening, heartwarming, and just
amazing but also really tumultuous, emotionally draining, and was one of the
loneliest and darkest times of my whole life. I could seriously write an entire
book and have an entire podcast on all things Turkey alone because this was a
time filled with unbelievable life events that I can't believe actually
happened and if you know me you may already know exactly what I'm talking
about. If you don't know however well we'll get more into that sort of
juiciness in another episode to come but for today I wanted to share and reflect
on seven things I love and seven things I hate about Turkey as a country and
place I used to call a home. I believe that Turkish people and anyone else
living in Turkey will understand and agree on most or maybe even all of these
love-hate things that I'm going to dissect today. I hope that by the end of
this episode you will become a little more educated and aware of facts about
Turkey, Turkish people, and their culture that you may have no idea about and
that despite the things I personally hate about Turkey that I will share that
you'll be at least a little more interested in one day discovering its
amazing inexplicable beauty for yourself. Let's go ahead and start tearing apart
these seven things I love and seven things I hate about Turkey. For those of
you who want to get straight high and dry to the point the seven things I
love about Turkey are as follows. I love the great weather, the people, the
importance of hospitality, big coffee and tea culture, incredible food, diverse
tourism, and overall stronger family values compared to America and even a
lot of Europe. Now the seven things I hate about Turkey are as follows. The
constant economic problems, that's a really big one, political and government
tensions, higher judgment from society, close-mindedness, more fierce jealousy,
the expectation of following certain traditions like for marriage, and the
difficulty for Turkish people to get a tourist visa to go to Europe, America, and
other places. Being the American that I am I have to start with the positives,
the things I love and adore about Turkey. The first thing I love about Turkey is
the great weather. For me coming from the southeast US the climate and weather in
Istanbul aren't all that different from what I grew up with. The summers in
Istanbul and Turkey in general are full of this terrible humidity and hot hell
like Georgia where I'm from and I was never a fan of that in Turkey. But the
number of sunny days, mild winters, and the bonus of living very close to the sea
was just awesome. It's no wonder that the people are so warm and so kind which
brings me to thing number two that I really love about Turkey and that's the
people. People in Istanbul are of course like people in many other big busy
cities because Istanbul is very crowded and fast-paced like New York, London,
Paris, basically every big city on this planet. But there's still something
different about Turkish people. They are just so much warmer, more emotional, and
sensitive than many other people I've ever met and known and I love that
because I myself am also very warm, emotional, and sensitive. They are
different than Americans and many Europeans. Turkish people take you into
their homes and make you feel appreciated and like you are the center
of attention even if you don't speak Turkish. They always make you something
to drink or cook you something and give you meze which are basically Turkish
small plates and appetizers if you don't know. They love love love love love
love love sharing. This is so important to them and I incorporate this further
sense of Turkish warmth into my own hosting and get-togethers today here in
America. This also ties into the third thing I love about Turkey and that's the
importance of hospitality. I cannot preach and praise Turkish people enough
for this. They take home the gold for being the best at hospitality ever and
I sure do wish and believe that Americans and Europeans can learn many
things from Turkish people. Even many of the guys are really good about making
sure you always have some Turkish tea that you always have something to drink
and that you're okay and not hungry. Turkish people want their homes to be
spotless and perfect for their guests to show that they care about your comfort
and presence and showing that they've put in the effort and love into their
homes just for you. They go above and beyond and I oftentimes miss that level
of importance and attention given to the guests. The fourth thing I love about
Turkey again tying into the last thing about hospitality is the big emphasis on
Turkish coffee and Turkish tea culture. I love love love love it couldn't love it
more. I even to this day still prepare and drink Turkish coffee in my American
home. I love fienjans which if you're not Turkish and you don't know what the hell
I'm talking about a fienjan is basically an espresso size coffee mug like a super
super tiny little mug and it's so cute. Turkish people and companies manufacture
them to look so classy and stylish and there are so many beautiful ones. I love
how it's so customary to enjoy a Turkish coffee in the middle of the workday or
afternoon when relaxing or in the evenings after you finished your dinner.
I also love Turkish tea and how Turkish people enjoy Turkish tea with everything.
How they have it with their breakfast but also at all other times of the day
too. They put Turkish tea in these special shaped tea glasses called
incibele glasses so those are hour shaped hour shaped what is that? Hour
glass shaped glasses and you also feel high and classy when drinking out of
these. I really totally miss these too. The fifth thing I love about Turkey is
the food. Let me tell you my most favorite food and cuisine ever is Turkish
food. I fell head over heels for all things Turkish food when I lived there.
Turkish people's emphasis on fresh ingredients like in Italy is second to
none. They incorporate tons of garlic, yogurt, tomatoes, olives, brek, fresh
veggies, meat and a lot of delicious spices into their food. What I love most
of all about Turkish food is Turkish freaking breakfast. Oh my gosh! If you
have never had Turkish breakfast before you will never understand how amazing
and hard it is to go back to regular American or European brunch once you've
had it. It's a whole culinary experience and a freaking incredible feast filled
with all sorts of yummy stuff. I could make a whole episode on Turkish food
alone. You just have to try it and believe me. The sixth thing I love about
Turkey is the diverse tourism. Turkey just thrives on tourism. There are
landscapes in Turkey that I have never been able to find anywhere else in the
world throughout my travels. Cappadocia is to die for with its hot air balloons
and rock-like landscape and caves. Pamukkale is like a dream with its white
limestone rocks and hot springs. Istanbul is majestic with the bosphorus and
boats and city life. Antalya is a mecca for beaches. The north of Turkey is super
green with cozy jaw-dropping beautiful mountains and Izmir in the west of
Turkey offers access to beaches and destinations that share the same ocean
as Greece. So it's basically like going to Greece at a discount. All of it çok
çok çok güzel as Turkish people would say meaning so beautiful. The seventh and
last thing I love about Turkey is the overall stronger ties to family values
and the family unit. I love the importance placed on family in Turkey. I
love how many families are closer in connection compared to what I've seen in
America and in different parts of Europe. I love how Turkish parents are often more
involved in their children's lives and it's not uncommon to be in your 30s and
still living with your parents in Turkey. I love how many parents are always
willing to do anything even beyond their means to help their children and vice
versa. This is beautiful and now we will transition to the seven things I hate
about Turkey. I don't mean for this next part of the episode to be depressing and
sad but I do want to highlight and talk about the reality of this otherwise
seemingly beautiful all-in-one inclusive type of place that Turkey can be. It's
definitely different for the people living in Turkey compared to the tourists
who come and take a vacation or have a holiday there. The first and top thing I
hate and feel sad about when it comes to Turkey is the constant economic problems
there. I also think that this is the number one reason why many talented,
intelligent Turkish people seek employment opportunities in Europe and
America very far away from their families. Money you earn even when you're
a doctor or a dentist or a lawyer or an engineer isn't necessarily all that much
more compared to if you're none of those things. I once met a Turkish doctor with
20 years of experience who worked in the east of Turkey. He told me that his
take-home salary at that time was about a thousand US dollars a month. Like what?
A doctor with 20 freaking years of experience working in Turkey and he only
gets a thousand US dollars a month? I had Turkish friends who studied civil
engineering and worked as engineers with university degrees as well as someone
who I know was doing his PhD in law working in the law school department as
a research assistant and all of them earned between 500 and 600 US dollars a
month. Crazy different place when it comes to Turkey and the economic
situation. This is unthinkable in America and in Western Europe but that is the
reality. You just can't progress and grow in your career in an environment that
can't pay or reward you what you deserve and it comes down to the economic
downfalls and limitations caused by high inflation and instability. The second
thing I hate about Turkey is the political and government tensions that
it tends to have with a number of countries directly around it especially
Greece but also other parts of Europe and the US. Because of Turkey being an
Islamic country nearby many Christian based countries. It's also like many
other places around the world super corrupt we know about that and I won't
get too deep into it but Turkey notoriously isn't the freest place in
terms of human rights and I'll stop it right there. Which brings me to the third
thing I hate about Turkey and that's the level of judgment and superficiality of
a large part of Turkish society compared to Europe and the US. I'll give you a
personal example of mine. When I traveled a lot I basically lived out of two
backpacks and often wore more basic clothes. There was a Turkish guy in my
life at the time whose family I spent a good bit of time around. They told me
this out of love and I understand that now but at the time they basically said
that the sweater that I wore often looked like it came from a dumpster. The
Turkish guy told me that my taste in clothes was like an old woman and that
his sister-in-law a Turkish girl was always so perfect stylish and classy and
bought the best things ever from Trendyol which is basically like the
Turkish Amazon for clothes. I felt that I also had to be perfect all the time
in order to be accepted by this Turkish family. In America and arguably also in
most of Europe nobody gives a damn about what you're wearing at the supermarket
or anywhere else. You come and go as you are and that doesn't define your worth.
In Turkey I feel like that's different. Also in Turkey whenever I had guests at
the home I was staying in I had to wear these classy uncomfortable and kind of
tacky honestly black heels for house shoes and not go barefoot or even have
socks. I always had to wear slippers otherwise I was always told this I may
get sick if I don't. Anyway I could go on and on about this too but I'm gonna
stop it here and move on to the next point. The fourth thing I hate about
Turkey is the closed mindedness of society. I think these days it's getting
better but there is still a long way to go in Turkey. I really hate how if
someone is gay or a lesbian and Turkish society knows about it you can
essentially be barred from job promotions and working your way up the
corporate ladder. You may even be barred from getting a job period. Turkish
society in addition to that will shun you. Nobody is going to kill you of course
like it's not it's not that extreme or so I really hope that that's right but
the LGBTQ community definitely has a rougher time in Turkey. I also personally
don't agree with the idea that two people shouldn't try living together
before marriage because this is super common and customary in the majority of
Europe and the US but I don't want to step on any toes here. This is just my
personal opinion. The fifth thing I hate about Turkey is this extra fierce
jealousy in the air and the dramatic way that Turkish people take their emotions
out over it. Jealousy is no stranger to any country of course but in Turkey
jealousy is taken to a whole other level. Turkish people are extremely emotional
as I stated much earlier. There are tons of murders that happen in Turkey where
many men will kill women time and time again because of even suspicions of
infidelity and simple jealousy as well as domestic disputes and domestic
violence. Women's rights in Turkey in this department at least are just
abominable. They're not bad in every department like many of us Westerners may
think but yeah this one is just no bad. It's not just with couples though it's
also with family. A Turkish girl will get super jealous and complain about her for
example sister-in-law if the mother-in-law shows favoritism or more
love to that sister-in-law and not her. I know this because I have witnessed this
so it's a real thing. The sixth thing I hate about Turkey is this predetermined
expectation of following certain traditions like with marriage. Not every
young couple today may want to follow those exact traditions if they don't
want to. Not every young couple wants or more importantly can afford a huge
flashy wedding and invite like 500 plus people which is really normal for many
Turkish weddings. Not every couple's family can have the means to provide the
bride and her family with gold which is another thing. I hate how there are many
Turkish parents who will judge a future daughter-in-law by how well she can cook
for my son and how well she can clean for my son. Some Turkish parents care
also if one person in the couple doesn't have married parents or doesn't have a
father or doesn't have a mother in their life because they are concerned about
who will be a second father or second mother to my son or to my daughter. I'm
not meaning to mock people by the way but really I have witnessed all of this
shit so I'm speaking from experience. The seventh and last thing I hate about
Turkey is the difficulty that many young educated and good intentional Turkish
people experience to get a tourist visa to travel Europe and to the US. I really
really hate how the very few people in Turkey who abuse this privilege ruin it
for everybody and that is not fair. I have Turkish friends with stable
reputable jobs who would love to travel to America and even to Europe but they
are denied tourist visas multiple times for who knows whatever reason. Like you
deny a Turkish doctor for example who properly applies, pays money to the
embassy, provides documents to travel in a country whereas you can just let
others roam across borders of other countries and with none of that I won't
get deeper into this and leave things there but that makes me very sad. We are
now finally through both love and hate lists. Before we wrap up this episode I
just want to emphasize that despite just listening to the seven things I
personally hate about Turkey I really hope that you'll consider visiting
Turkey for all of the great and even better things I mentioned and more. Turkey
is a place that I really can't recommend to the world enough especially as a
tourist filled Mecca with so much bang for your buck and especially if you're
coming from Europe or North America. Turkey is a place that many Americans
especially know very very little about because on American TV Turkey is
portrayed very badly and that's due to some of the hate reasons I mentioned
just a little bit earlier. I will tell you I used to be one of those Americans
who didn't have a clue about Turkey and I used to think so badly about it but
Turkish people I befriended and met during my time there changed my life, my
heart and my perspective about their country forever. I have so much more to
share about my own life, my own highs, lows and everything in between in Turkey
but we will get to that in another episode. For now we are finished for today.
I hope that you took something new and insightful from this episode and that
you enjoyed. If you liked listening to this content and would like to hear
more or if you have a specific request for a travel or life topic that you like
to dive deeper into then please do let me know on Instagram at Amero Pian at
heart or on my host account at Mary Grace Crawford. I would love to hear your
feedback and to create future content that best helps, entertains and serves
you. Thank you so much for tuning in with me once again today. I look forward to
being back here next Tuesday with you again for another fun adventurous episode.
Much love from the Ameropean at heart.