WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.459 Welcome to the Classroom Narratives Healing In 00:00:02.459 --> 00:00:04.919 Education podcast, the space where education 00:00:04.919 --> 00:00:09.039 meets resilience. I'm Dr. Joey Weisler, and in 00:00:09.039 --> 00:00:11.419 each episode, we dive deep into the personal 00:00:11.419 --> 00:00:15.099 stories of educators, students, leaders, and 00:00:15.099 --> 00:00:18.100 frontline advocates who are navigating the complexities 00:00:18.100 --> 00:00:21.280 within modern education. Whether you're just 00:00:21.280 --> 00:00:23.899 starting your teaching journey, Or are we seasoned 00:00:23.899 --> 00:00:26.280 professionals looking for inspiration? We'll 00:00:26.280 --> 00:00:29.079 explore how to foster meaningful change, prevent 00:00:29.079 --> 00:00:31.879 burnout, and build trauma -informed communities 00:00:31.879 --> 00:00:35.000 within our schools. Now, let's take a seat at 00:00:35.000 --> 00:00:36.880 the front of the classroom as we get started. 00:00:37.439 --> 00:00:39.579 Welcome back to the show, everyone, where today's 00:00:39.579 --> 00:00:41.960 episode brings us a voice who speaks directly 00:00:41.960 --> 00:00:44.659 to the heart of our mission, healing, growth, 00:00:44.880 --> 00:00:47.810 and transformation through education. Nathan 00:00:47.810 --> 00:00:50.390 Wray is an award -winning motivational speaker, 00:00:50.649 --> 00:00:53.670 a teen mental health first aid instructor, and 00:00:53.670 --> 00:00:56.229 a prevention coordinator who uses his personal 00:00:56.229 --> 00:00:58.920 journey from being expelled just before graduation 00:00:58.920 --> 00:01:01.520 to becoming a national voice in youth empowerment 00:01:01.520 --> 00:01:04.620 to connect with students, educators, and communities. 00:01:04.980 --> 00:01:06.980 He doesn't just talk about mental health and 00:01:06.980 --> 00:01:09.739 substance misuse. He's lived it, and now he's 00:01:09.739 --> 00:01:12.200 helping young people with raw stories across 00:01:12.200 --> 00:01:14.939 the country reclaim their self-worth and rewrite 00:01:14.939 --> 00:01:16.959 their stories. So, Nathan, thank you so much 00:01:16.959 --> 00:01:19.000 for joining us. It's a privilege. Happy birthday. 00:01:19.400 --> 00:01:22.439 Thank you. And welcome to the show here on March 00:01:22.439 --> 00:01:26.079 24th. It's good to be here. I'm really grateful 00:01:26.079 --> 00:01:28.480 and honored to talk with you and to speak with 00:01:28.480 --> 00:01:31.219 your audience today. It's such a joy for all 00:01:31.219 --> 00:01:33.719 of us. So Nathan, I wanted to go ahead and first 00:01:33.719 --> 00:01:36.879 of all, start with your story. It's okay for 00:01:36.879 --> 00:01:38.939 us to share. You were actually expelled from 00:01:38.939 --> 00:01:41.519 school just before your graduation. And now you've 00:01:41.519 --> 00:01:43.519 received, all these years later, the Tennessee 00:01:43.519 --> 00:01:46.500 Governor's Award for Suicide Prevention. And 00:01:46.500 --> 00:01:49.359 tell us the steps that you took in terms of your 00:01:49.359 --> 00:01:52.120 transformational journey that has moved your 00:01:52.120 --> 00:01:55.379 pain into purpose. And what can struggling students 00:01:55.379 --> 00:01:58.480 learn about your journey and your story? Yeah, 00:01:58.500 --> 00:02:00.859 so I'll just kind of back up to high school really 00:02:00.859 --> 00:02:03.379 quick. Three weeks before high school, that whole 00:02:03.379 --> 00:02:06.159 senior year, pretty much all four years of high 00:02:06.159 --> 00:02:11.780 school I didn't listen to anybody I had my own 00:02:11.780 --> 00:02:14.719 agenda I wanted to do what I wanted to do I didn't 00:02:14.719 --> 00:02:16.919 care about anybody else and I thought my decisions 00:02:16.919 --> 00:02:20.460 only affected me and by the time that I got to 00:02:20.460 --> 00:02:23.639 my senior year of high school I was told pretty 00:02:23.639 --> 00:02:25.680 much halfway through the year that if I didn't 00:02:25.680 --> 00:02:29.300 pass a math class that I wasn't going to graduate 00:02:29.300 --> 00:02:32.770 that I wouldn't have enough credits and so I 00:02:32.770 --> 00:02:35.469 didn't take that seriously. I didn't buckle down. 00:02:35.629 --> 00:02:38.530 I didn't have any discipline. I didn't ask for 00:02:38.530 --> 00:02:41.770 help. And three weeks before graduation, they 00:02:41.770 --> 00:02:43.270 came to me and they said, hey, listen, you're 00:02:43.270 --> 00:02:44.669 not putting in the effort. You're not putting 00:02:44.669 --> 00:02:47.370 in the work. It shows. So you need to leave. 00:02:47.569 --> 00:02:49.669 And that was the end of my high school career. 00:02:49.810 --> 00:02:51.789 And I went to graduation and I watched all of 00:02:51.789 --> 00:02:53.569 my friends walk across the stage and get their 00:02:53.569 --> 00:02:56.310 diplomas. And I heard their families clap and 00:02:56.310 --> 00:02:58.150 cheer for them. And I watched them take pictures 00:02:58.150 --> 00:03:02.659 afterwards. And here I am in this spot of isolation 00:03:02.659 --> 00:03:05.699 and loneliness, but also blaming everybody else. 00:03:06.000 --> 00:03:09.180 You know, certainly wasn't my fault. I did everything 00:03:09.180 --> 00:03:11.699 that I was supposed to do as a kid. And so I 00:03:11.699 --> 00:03:14.000 played the blame game for a really long time. 00:03:14.259 --> 00:03:17.199 After graduation, I had the opportunity to move 00:03:17.199 --> 00:03:20.979 to Phoenix, Arizona. And so I moved and spiraled 00:03:20.979 --> 00:03:23.379 a little bit further out of control. My parents 00:03:23.379 --> 00:03:25.360 gave me the opportunity to move to Nashville. 00:03:25.400 --> 00:03:27.080 My dad got transferred to Nashville, Tennessee. 00:03:27.360 --> 00:03:30.139 And so I moved to Nashville, Tennessee with my 00:03:30.139 --> 00:03:32.960 parents. I ended up getting a job there. I met 00:03:32.960 --> 00:03:36.060 my wife there at that job. I was still using 00:03:36.060 --> 00:03:39.479 drugs and alcohol, still making really poor decisions. 00:03:40.139 --> 00:03:43.180 We ended up having a son. And when he was three 00:03:43.180 --> 00:03:45.300 months old, I came home from work one night. 00:03:45.439 --> 00:03:48.379 I had stopped at a bar. I had stopped at a friend's 00:03:48.379 --> 00:03:51.800 house and had used. And when I got home, she 00:03:51.800 --> 00:03:55.500 was waiting on the porch for me to get home. 00:03:55.620 --> 00:03:58.639 And it was like two in the morning. And I walked 00:03:58.639 --> 00:04:00.819 up to the porch, and even though I had been drinking, 00:04:00.919 --> 00:04:03.319 I had been high, I still remember this moment 00:04:03.319 --> 00:04:05.259 because I was sweating. My heart was pounding. 00:04:05.400 --> 00:04:08.259 My legs were shaking. I was certain that she 00:04:08.259 --> 00:04:11.300 was just going to end our marriage. And when 00:04:11.300 --> 00:04:13.280 I got to the porch, she said, "Nathan, you've 00:04:13.280 --> 00:04:15.560 got to make a decision. You can be a husband 00:04:15.560 --> 00:04:18.949 and a father, or you can leave." And in that moment, 00:04:18.990 --> 00:04:21.790 I realized like, she's giving me an option. I 00:04:21.790 --> 00:04:24.389 have this option. I didn't make the right choice 00:04:24.389 --> 00:04:27.670 at first. I did leave at first. And several months 00:04:27.670 --> 00:04:31.370 later, we kind of patched things up. And I asked 00:04:31.370 --> 00:04:34.930 her if she could help me become sober. And so 00:04:34.930 --> 00:04:39.029 she did everything that she could. She dialed 00:04:39.029 --> 00:04:42.050 me in. She gave me rules. She gave me responsibilities. 00:04:42.709 --> 00:04:45.329 She gave me a schedule. Like I had never really 00:04:45.329 --> 00:04:49.519 had that before. got great parents, but I just 00:04:49.519 --> 00:04:53.399 was never really in a system of a process for 00:04:53.399 --> 00:04:55.139 the day. It wasn't like, hey, we eat breakfast 00:04:55.139 --> 00:04:56.819 at this time, lunch at this time, dinner at this 00:04:56.819 --> 00:04:58.699 time. It was just like, yeah, you eat when you 00:04:58.699 --> 00:05:02.079 eat, man. And so she really hammered that down 00:05:02.079 --> 00:05:07.639 for me. And so in 2023, I got sober and I haven't 00:05:07.639 --> 00:05:11.959 used a substance since 2023. We ended up having 00:05:11.959 --> 00:05:16.639 three more children and life was difficult. Because 00:05:16.639 --> 00:05:19.500 all of our children have some type of special 00:05:19.500 --> 00:05:23.459 need. And so when you're raising four kids that 00:05:23.459 --> 00:05:26.879 have special needs, it's expensive, it's timely, 00:05:27.040 --> 00:05:30.839 it's costly, but it's a blessing as well. But 00:05:30.839 --> 00:05:32.920 we ended up moving around, taking different jobs. 00:05:33.000 --> 00:05:35.819 We ended up in Tennessee. I started working as 00:05:35.819 --> 00:05:38.680 a kind of a youth leader at church youth groups. 00:05:38.759 --> 00:05:41.779 And I had a friend that said I would be really 00:05:41.779 --> 00:05:45.850 good for a job for a nonprofit. And so I applied 00:05:45.850 --> 00:05:48.410 for the job. I got the job and it was doing substance 00:05:48.410 --> 00:05:52.250 use prevention. And at the time, one of my daughters 00:05:52.250 --> 00:05:55.970 was 10 years old and she was really struggling. 00:05:56.069 --> 00:05:58.110 She was struggling with school. She was struggling 00:05:58.110 --> 00:06:00.709 with behaviors and she was struggling with being 00:06:00.709 --> 00:06:05.110 bullied in school. And one night we found a text 00:06:05.110 --> 00:06:08.430 message on her phone that was her talking about 00:06:08.430 --> 00:06:11.240 ending her life. And I will say people are probably 00:06:11.240 --> 00:06:13.540 going like 10 years old. You gave her a phone 00:06:13.540 --> 00:06:16.600 at 10 years old. Yeah. If I could go back and 00:06:16.600 --> 00:06:19.339 change that a hundred percent would go back and 00:06:19.339 --> 00:06:22.980 not give her a phone until she was 18, not even 00:06:22.980 --> 00:06:27.079 16, but 18. But you learn from the lessons, the 00:06:27.079 --> 00:06:29.199 mistakes that you make, you learn from them. 00:06:29.319 --> 00:06:32.439 But I sat with her all night and I didn't know 00:06:32.439 --> 00:06:35.389 what to do. And I asked her, how often do you 00:06:35.389 --> 00:06:37.689 think about suicide? And she said, every moment, 00:06:37.829 --> 00:06:40.829 like every single moment I think about it. And 00:06:40.829 --> 00:06:44.069 I just didn't know how to respond. I didn't know 00:06:44.069 --> 00:06:47.310 what to say. I didn't know who to call. I didn't 00:06:47.310 --> 00:06:50.129 know where to go. But I knew that I wasn't going 00:06:50.129 --> 00:06:53.029 to go to sleep that night because I didn't know 00:06:53.029 --> 00:06:57.209 what she was going to do. And the next morning, 00:06:57.329 --> 00:07:00.209 we got everybody up. We got her ready for school. 00:07:00.990 --> 00:07:03.649 And right before school, she made an attempt. 00:07:04.149 --> 00:07:06.490 And we had to take her to the emergency room. 00:07:06.629 --> 00:07:09.170 She's alive and well today. She's thriving. She's 00:07:09.170 --> 00:07:12.490 18 years old and doing amazing now. But in that 00:07:12.490 --> 00:07:15.410 moment, it was really, really scary. But it put 00:07:15.410 --> 00:07:18.709 me on a pathway to figure out, first, I need 00:07:18.709 --> 00:07:22.110 to help my daughter. Right? Like, first, I need 00:07:22.110 --> 00:07:25.730 to do that. Once I figure that out, I want to 00:07:25.730 --> 00:07:28.889 help other families. because they're like, they're 00:07:28.889 --> 00:07:31.050 going through this kind of thing too. Maybe they're 00:07:31.050 --> 00:07:32.850 not talking about it, but they certainly are. 00:07:33.470 --> 00:07:35.910 So we got her the help that she needed. We got 00:07:35.910 --> 00:07:38.670 her some really intense therapy, had a friend 00:07:38.670 --> 00:07:41.149 that did ABA therapy and that's for kids with 00:07:41.149 --> 00:07:44.370 autism. And that's one of her diagnoses is she 00:07:44.370 --> 00:07:46.889 does have autism, but we got her ABA therapy 00:07:46.889 --> 00:07:50.180 and life turned around for her she found some 00:07:50.180 --> 00:07:52.860 really great friends she found purpose she's 00:07:52.860 --> 00:07:55.699 an artist and so when i knew that she was well 00:07:55.699 --> 00:07:58.839 that's when I started to dive into how can I 00:07:58.839 --> 00:08:01.459 help other families prevent this from happening 00:08:01.459 --> 00:08:05.399 to them and so I became question persuade refer 00:08:05.399 --> 00:08:08.800 certified I became an instructor on it as well 00:08:08.800 --> 00:08:13.319 and so I started teaching QPR classes so that 00:08:14.370 --> 00:08:17.290 churches, businesses. I don't care who you were. 00:08:17.389 --> 00:08:19.629 If you owned a car lot, I was going to see if 00:08:19.629 --> 00:08:21.850 you'd let me come do a QPR class for your sales 00:08:21.850 --> 00:08:25.589 team because they might have family who's struggling 00:08:25.589 --> 00:08:28.930 with this. And so I just started doing a lot 00:08:28.930 --> 00:08:32.970 of that. I don't know the reason why I won the 00:08:32.970 --> 00:08:36.210 award. I was nominated for it. But I think part 00:08:36.210 --> 00:08:39.210 of the reason was because me and my youngest 00:08:39.210 --> 00:08:45.370 daughter in 2019 We printed a ton of cards that 00:08:45.370 --> 00:08:48.330 just said, you matter. And then it had the prevention 00:08:48.330 --> 00:08:51.809 lifeline number on the back before it was 988. 00:08:52.490 --> 00:08:55.470 We also had suckers. And so we'd give them a 00:08:55.470 --> 00:08:57.230 sucker and we'd say, hey, we're glad you're here. 00:08:57.370 --> 00:08:59.450 And if you ever need this card, please use it. 00:08:59.970 --> 00:09:02.710 And that kind of caught on. People were talking 00:09:02.710 --> 00:09:05.889 about it. And even people were like, well, I 00:09:05.889 --> 00:09:07.250 don't need it, but I'm going to pay it forward. 00:09:07.409 --> 00:09:09.230 And they would pass it on to somebody else. And 00:09:09.230 --> 00:09:12.629 so I think that's what. won me the award or got 00:09:12.629 --> 00:09:15.129 me nominated for the award, but we were always 00:09:15.129 --> 00:09:19.490 focused on helping families to prevent suicide. 00:09:20.970 --> 00:09:23.210 I'm nearly at loss of words because I'm just 00:09:23.210 --> 00:09:25.370 digesting your story. Thank you for all that 00:09:25.370 --> 00:09:28.110 you're sharing, inspiring our guests with. And 00:09:28.110 --> 00:09:30.409 I'm also thinking about in terms of, first of 00:09:30.409 --> 00:09:34.269 all, what does QPR stand for? Question, persuade, 00:09:34.409 --> 00:09:39.389 refer. Got it. And something else that comes 00:09:39.389 --> 00:09:44.870 to mind is when individuals choose to turn towards 00:09:44.870 --> 00:09:48.690 substance use, tell us a little bit about what 00:09:48.690 --> 00:09:51.889 they're thinking about at that time. Like what 00:09:51.889 --> 00:09:57.409 validates the need to use? Yeah. So I'll just 00:09:57.409 --> 00:09:59.509 tell you from my experience, I had adverse childhood 00:09:59.509 --> 00:10:03.730 experiences and someone like me who has four 00:10:03.730 --> 00:10:07.830 or more is 38 times more likely to die by suicide. 00:10:08.679 --> 00:10:10.919 And someone like me who has four or more adverse 00:10:10.919 --> 00:10:13.440 childhood experiences is 400 % more likely to 00:10:13.440 --> 00:10:16.159 suffer from depression. And someone like me who 00:10:16.159 --> 00:10:18.220 has six or more adverse childhood experiences 00:10:18.220 --> 00:10:21.220 is likely to lose about 20 years off the end 00:10:21.220 --> 00:10:24.779 of their lifespan. And so for me, I was trying 00:10:24.779 --> 00:10:27.779 to cope with those adverse childhood experiences. 00:10:27.799 --> 00:10:30.840 I was trying to cope with. the shame and the 00:10:30.840 --> 00:10:33.320 guilt that I was feeling. I was trying to cope 00:10:33.320 --> 00:10:35.240 with the depression that I had. I was trying 00:10:35.240 --> 00:10:37.559 to cope with feeling alone, like nobody else 00:10:37.559 --> 00:10:40.039 could understand what I was going through, not 00:10:40.039 --> 00:10:42.720 being able to tell anybody. I was trying to cope 00:10:42.720 --> 00:10:44.919 with all of those things, but they're just, for 00:10:44.919 --> 00:10:48.700 me, there was no way to cope. And so I was offered 00:10:48.700 --> 00:10:50.840 a cigarette for the first time at 12 years old. 00:10:51.139 --> 00:10:54.379 And when I used that cigarette, all that dopamine 00:10:54.379 --> 00:10:58.480 hit at once. And when that dopamine hit at once 00:10:58.480 --> 00:11:00.980 at 12 years old, I wasn't thinking about the 00:11:00.980 --> 00:11:03.419 shame. I wasn't thinking about the guilt. I wasn't 00:11:03.419 --> 00:11:05.720 thinking about any of that stuff. I just thought, 00:11:05.779 --> 00:11:09.259 oh, that felt good. And I like that feeling. 00:11:09.340 --> 00:11:11.860 And I want to avoid the emotional pain that I've 00:11:11.860 --> 00:11:14.940 been feeling. And so I'll just keep using cigarettes. 00:11:14.980 --> 00:11:17.960 And that's how it started for me was I was using 00:11:17.960 --> 00:11:20.019 cigarettes to avoid the emotional pain. I never 00:11:20.019 --> 00:11:23.610 got that same. cigarette buzz ever again and 00:11:23.610 --> 00:11:25.870 so eventually I moved to marijuana and then I 00:11:25.870 --> 00:11:28.529 moved to alcohol and then I moved to other drugs 00:11:28.529 --> 00:11:32.789 and I just kept chasing that feeling of numbness 00:11:32.789 --> 00:11:35.289 and I think for me that's what it is I can't 00:11:35.289 --> 00:11:38.149 speak for everybody else but for me it was I 00:11:38.149 --> 00:11:41.730 needed to feel numb and that was the only way 00:11:41.730 --> 00:11:46.950 that was happening for me so when you speak with 00:11:47.470 --> 00:11:50.830 school age students, and you hear about their 00:11:50.830 --> 00:11:53.750 stories, some maybe on similar directions and 00:11:53.750 --> 00:11:56.809 paths, what advice do you give them to really 00:11:56.809 --> 00:12:00.549 humanize the decisions and allow them to adjust 00:12:00.549 --> 00:12:03.769 their thinking to help themselves? Yeah. So first 00:12:03.769 --> 00:12:06.190 of all, I let them know that no one's opinion 00:12:06.190 --> 00:12:08.990 of them is going to determine their value. And 00:12:08.990 --> 00:12:10.929 that's something that I always struggled with 00:12:10.929 --> 00:12:13.769 as a kid was that, man, if somebody has a negative 00:12:13.769 --> 00:12:17.100 opinion of me, that determines my value. And 00:12:17.100 --> 00:12:19.039 that's going to put my value in the tank. And 00:12:19.039 --> 00:12:20.440 then it's going to put my worth in the tank. 00:12:21.019 --> 00:12:23.159 And then I'm going to feel anxious and alone. 00:12:23.440 --> 00:12:25.419 And so that's one of the first things that I 00:12:25.419 --> 00:12:27.500 share with students is no one's opinion of you, 00:12:27.539 --> 00:12:30.879 no matter who they are. And I've had some feedback 00:12:30.879 --> 00:12:32.679 on this. And I'll say, it doesn't matter if it's 00:12:32.679 --> 00:12:34.200 your principal. It doesn't matter if it's your 00:12:34.200 --> 00:12:35.620 parent. It doesn't matter if it's your guardian. 00:12:35.799 --> 00:12:37.360 It doesn't matter if it's the mayor of the town. 00:12:37.720 --> 00:12:40.740 Their opinion of you does not determine your 00:12:40.740 --> 00:12:43.240 value. And sometimes principals are like, well, 00:12:43.279 --> 00:12:46.500 my opinion does. And I'm like, well, eh. Take 00:12:46.500 --> 00:12:48.360 that with a grain of salt. Because in a way, 00:12:48.419 --> 00:12:51.200 yes. But what I'm trying to share with them is 00:12:51.200 --> 00:12:53.580 that if somebody looks at you because you've 00:12:53.580 --> 00:12:55.539 made a mistake in your life and they think there's 00:12:55.539 --> 00:12:57.259 the troubled kid, that opinion doesn't matter. 00:12:57.720 --> 00:12:59.720 So that's one of the first things that I share 00:12:59.720 --> 00:13:01.580 with them. The other things that I share with 00:13:01.580 --> 00:13:05.120 them is proper preparation prevents poor performance. 00:13:05.799 --> 00:13:09.559 And so I talk about basically like the keys to 00:13:09.559 --> 00:13:14.159 success in life. It's goal setting, it's determination, 00:13:14.500 --> 00:13:18.720 and it's self -control. And if you want proper 00:13:18.720 --> 00:13:22.120 preparation prevents poor performance, then you've 00:13:22.120 --> 00:13:23.620 got to have some goal setting. You've got to 00:13:23.620 --> 00:13:26.460 have the determination to line up your values 00:13:26.460 --> 00:13:28.799 with those goals so that if somebody comes to 00:13:28.799 --> 00:13:31.139 you and says, hey, do you want to hit this vape 00:13:31.139 --> 00:13:33.240 with me or do you want to hit this THC cart with 00:13:33.240 --> 00:13:35.679 me? You can look at your goals and you can look 00:13:35.679 --> 00:13:38.450 at your values and go. Yeah, no, I've got enough 00:13:38.450 --> 00:13:40.649 self -control here. It's doing the fundamentals. 00:13:40.809 --> 00:13:43.730 It's doing the basics. You don't win games in 00:13:43.730 --> 00:13:46.309 scrimmage. You don't win games by being curious. 00:13:46.809 --> 00:13:49.210 You win games by practicing the fundamentals. 00:13:49.450 --> 00:13:51.789 And that's how you win at life. You practice 00:13:51.789 --> 00:13:53.809 the fundamentals of life, goal setting, discipline, 00:13:54.149 --> 00:13:56.990 self -control. And so we have a lot of conversations 00:13:56.990 --> 00:13:59.169 around that. And then when I talk to students 00:13:59.169 --> 00:14:02.110 in a big auditorium or even in a classroom, all 00:14:02.110 --> 00:14:06.080 of that includes resilience. It includes coping 00:14:06.080 --> 00:14:08.679 skills, coping mechanisms. So it's not just, 00:14:08.759 --> 00:14:10.019 I'm going to come in here and preach at you and 00:14:10.019 --> 00:14:12.480 tell you don't do drugs. We tried that in the 00:14:12.480 --> 00:14:14.740 80s, just say no, and it didn't work, right? 00:14:15.100 --> 00:14:19.379 And so we have to tell kids, say no, but here's 00:14:19.379 --> 00:14:22.009 how you do it. That's what I help kids discover. 00:14:22.210 --> 00:14:25.509 I help them discover how they say no. Because 00:14:25.509 --> 00:14:28.730 if I'm an artist and you're approaching me about 00:14:28.730 --> 00:14:31.409 drugs or alcohol, and I know it's going to affect 00:14:31.409 --> 00:14:33.870 the way that my brain thinks, it's going to affect 00:14:33.870 --> 00:14:37.629 my creativity, I'm not interested. I'm going 00:14:37.629 --> 00:14:41.350 to keep working on my art. And if I get angry, 00:14:41.509 --> 00:14:44.929 that art can be a coping skill. Or if I get angry 00:14:44.929 --> 00:14:47.389 and I play the guitar, that guitar can be a coping 00:14:47.389 --> 00:14:50.539 skill. Or if I feel ashamed, I can play the guitar 00:14:50.539 --> 00:14:53.100 and that guitar is a coping skill. I can go work 00:14:53.100 --> 00:14:56.120 out. I love it when I talk to high school athletes 00:14:56.120 --> 00:14:57.720 and they're like, oh, we don't need this. We 00:14:57.720 --> 00:14:58.799 don't need someone to come in here and tell us 00:14:58.799 --> 00:15:00.399 not to do drugs. And I'm like, just give me a 00:15:00.399 --> 00:15:02.559 chance. Give me an opportunity. Let me talk. 00:15:03.120 --> 00:15:05.139 And at the end, it's usually they're the ones 00:15:05.139 --> 00:15:07.000 that are coming up to me afterwards. And they're 00:15:07.000 --> 00:15:08.759 like, man, thank you. Thank you for being here. 00:15:08.820 --> 00:15:11.039 I really appreciate it. And there was educators 00:15:11.039 --> 00:15:13.379 that. Especially when I was teaching at the middle 00:15:13.379 --> 00:15:15.740 school level, it was so important for us not 00:15:15.740 --> 00:15:19.519 to focus on redemption or exoneration, but at 00:15:19.519 --> 00:15:21.879 least focus on giving students a second chance. 00:15:22.279 --> 00:15:24.580 I taught for one year, but it was a spring term 00:15:24.580 --> 00:15:26.720 followed by a fall term. So it was a calendar 00:15:26.720 --> 00:15:28.860 year, not a school year that I taught for. And 00:15:28.860 --> 00:15:31.940 in the fall, I had some of my colleagues come 00:15:31.940 --> 00:15:34.100 up to me and say, hey, watch out for students 00:15:34.100 --> 00:15:38.080 A, B, C, X, Y, and Z, because they're as a first 00:15:38.080 --> 00:15:41.519 year teacher, they'll put it on you. No student 00:15:41.519 --> 00:15:43.240 wants that. Just like how no teacher wants to 00:15:43.240 --> 00:15:45.519 be like, oh, you got that teacher and have that 00:15:45.519 --> 00:15:48.299 reputation. It's so important to always try and 00:15:48.299 --> 00:15:50.899 offer a second chance to all of those involved. 00:15:51.259 --> 00:15:53.240 That's one of the things that I've worked on 00:15:53.240 --> 00:15:56.259 over the past two years. I didn't create this 00:15:56.259 --> 00:15:59.080 program myself, but I helped create a program 00:15:59.080 --> 00:16:02.600 for students who have been caught vaping at school. 00:16:03.100 --> 00:16:06.139 And instead of suspending them and sending them 00:16:06.139 --> 00:16:08.120 home so that they can just keep vaping at school. 00:16:08.759 --> 00:16:11.820 We created a program to where they take a class 00:16:11.820 --> 00:16:14.179 on Saturday. First, the school has to change 00:16:14.179 --> 00:16:15.960 their policy to be able to do this, but we've 00:16:15.960 --> 00:16:18.340 helped schools change their policies. They take 00:16:18.340 --> 00:16:20.919 a class on a Saturday. Their guardian comes to 00:16:20.919 --> 00:16:23.620 the class for the first hour with them. They're 00:16:23.620 --> 00:16:25.980 going to get that first hour education as well. 00:16:26.259 --> 00:16:28.899 After that first hour, the guardian leaves. The 00:16:28.899 --> 00:16:31.580 student stays. They get the continuous three 00:16:31.580 --> 00:16:33.720 hours of education. It's more like a workshop 00:16:33.720 --> 00:16:36.240 than it is like someone just... talking down 00:16:36.240 --> 00:16:39.860 to you and then after the three hours we send 00:16:39.860 --> 00:16:41.980 the sign -in sheet to the coordinator of school 00:16:41.980 --> 00:16:44.370 health or to the principal whoever's running 00:16:44.370 --> 00:16:46.389 the program, we let them know that those students 00:16:46.389 --> 00:16:48.250 attended and that they are welcome to come back 00:16:48.250 --> 00:16:50.409 to school on Monday morning. They don't miss 00:16:50.409 --> 00:16:52.230 school. They're not taken out of their school. 00:16:52.409 --> 00:16:54.690 They're not suspended. They will get a citation 00:16:54.690 --> 00:16:56.750 to like juvenile probation, but as long as they 00:16:56.750 --> 00:17:00.029 pass the class, that citation is thrown out. 00:17:00.090 --> 00:17:02.169 They never have to go see the judge as long as 00:17:02.169 --> 00:17:04.809 they pass the class. So that's one of the things 00:17:04.809 --> 00:17:06.890 that I really wanted to focus on because I remember 00:17:06.890 --> 00:17:11.109 being a kid and being told, you have to go home 00:17:11.109 --> 00:17:15.269 for three days. And I thought, this is awesome 00:17:15.269 --> 00:17:17.349 because I got in trouble for is what I'm going 00:17:17.349 --> 00:17:20.170 to do at home because nobody's home. Right. You 00:17:20.170 --> 00:17:22.750 know, so when we talked about this diversion 00:17:22.750 --> 00:17:26.049 program. we really wanted to make sure that we 00:17:26.049 --> 00:17:29.230 were keeping kids in their schools. Because what 00:17:29.230 --> 00:17:31.390 we also know is that kids that go to alternative 00:17:31.390 --> 00:17:34.049 school, if they get sent to an alternative school 00:17:34.049 --> 00:17:37.769 for two to three days, or even 45 days, let's 00:17:37.769 --> 00:17:40.369 just say 45 days, they go to alternative school 00:17:40.369 --> 00:17:44.089 for 45 days. And then they go, okay, you go back 00:17:44.089 --> 00:17:46.549 to your regular school now. So you go back to 00:17:46.549 --> 00:17:49.309 regular school on Monday. What you learned in 00:17:49.309 --> 00:17:53.220 alternative school, It was not the same lessons 00:17:53.220 --> 00:17:55.319 that you were learning in your typical school. 00:17:55.619 --> 00:17:58.519 Now you're behind. So now you're not only behind, 00:17:58.619 --> 00:18:00.680 now you're frustrated. Now you're mad. And what 00:18:00.680 --> 00:18:02.119 do you do? What do you do when you're frustrated 00:18:02.119 --> 00:18:04.160 and you're mad? You use the only coping skills 00:18:04.160 --> 00:18:06.680 that you have. You go back to using substances 00:18:06.680 --> 00:18:09.339 or you get into a fight or you smart off to a 00:18:09.339 --> 00:18:11.539 teacher. And then you're right back at alternatives. 00:18:11.680 --> 00:18:14.180 And it just becomes a cycle. It's a cycle. And 00:18:14.180 --> 00:18:15.859 so one of the things that I've been helping schools 00:18:15.859 --> 00:18:19.180 do as well is to set up almost like a re -entry 00:18:19.180 --> 00:18:22.000 program from alternative school. So if you do 00:18:22.000 --> 00:18:23.539 have a student in alternative school for a really 00:18:23.539 --> 00:18:25.859 long time, I want to help you set up a re -entry 00:18:25.859 --> 00:18:29.160 program so that someone is going to touch base 00:18:29.160 --> 00:18:30.940 with that student the morning they return to 00:18:30.940 --> 00:18:32.940 their typical school, and they're going to keep 00:18:32.940 --> 00:18:35.480 touching base with them for at least 90 days. 00:18:36.200 --> 00:18:38.339 So that student knows that they're supported. 00:18:39.099 --> 00:18:42.240 that they're not alone, that they have some type 00:18:42.240 --> 00:18:45.980 of help. And if they need some like coping skill 00:18:45.980 --> 00:18:49.680 suggestions, they can turn to their reentry program 00:18:49.680 --> 00:18:52.940 advisor and go, hey, this is not going well. 00:18:53.000 --> 00:18:56.460 What do I do? If you are in a school, ask if 00:18:56.460 --> 00:18:58.380 you have a reentry program from alternative school. 00:18:58.460 --> 00:19:01.779 And if you don't, call me, send me an email, 00:19:01.960 --> 00:19:04.640 reach out to me. I will help you set that up. 00:19:05.640 --> 00:19:07.539 And that info will definitely be in our show 00:19:07.539 --> 00:19:10.380 notes as well, because I, confession time here, 00:19:10.440 --> 00:19:12.319 I have not been in a middle or high school classroom 00:19:12.319 --> 00:19:16.119 as the instructor of record since 2019. So I 00:19:16.119 --> 00:19:20.880 know that the situation was pitiful and pathetic 00:19:20.880 --> 00:19:24.960 in 2019. So to see how that has grown since 2020 00:19:24.960 --> 00:19:30.000 frightened me. I'm continuing to do my research 00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:32.200 through my contacts and my peers, my connections, 00:19:32.359 --> 00:19:34.819 but have yet to do it by being on the front lines 00:19:34.819 --> 00:19:37.200 myself. So I appreciate my colleagues who are 00:19:37.200 --> 00:19:39.500 doing that on the behalf of all hero teachers 00:19:39.500 --> 00:19:41.960 out there. And what I've noticed even before 00:19:41.960 --> 00:19:44.579 COVID times is that my students would come to 00:19:44.579 --> 00:19:47.440 me and say, I feel like a number. I don't feel 00:19:47.440 --> 00:19:49.839 like I'm seen or visible at the school. Nobody 00:19:49.839 --> 00:19:51.900 wants to listen to me. My voice doesn't matter. 00:19:52.900 --> 00:19:54.740 So Nathan, I wanted to hear a little bit more 00:19:54.740 --> 00:19:58.299 about what advice you would offer. especially 00:19:58.299 --> 00:20:01.720 to institutions that focus on those matrix -based 00:20:01.720 --> 00:20:05.680 solutions and how they can be reworked in a way 00:20:05.680 --> 00:20:08.099 to benefit the well -being of our students. And 00:20:08.099 --> 00:20:11.519 you also mentioned recently in an Instagram reel 00:20:11.519 --> 00:20:14.559 about issues with vaping, especially when parents 00:20:14.559 --> 00:20:16.779 are purchasing the vape for their kid and saying, 00:20:16.880 --> 00:20:19.259 well, it came from me. And you said something, 00:20:19.339 --> 00:20:21.299 well, then would you start buying the crack for 00:20:21.299 --> 00:20:23.160 your kid too and becoming their drug dealer? 00:20:23.299 --> 00:20:27.369 Tell us about... what schools and families and 00:20:27.369 --> 00:20:30.289 communities to do in order to get involved and 00:20:30.289 --> 00:20:32.970 adjust the matrix -based thinking of our system? 00:20:33.109 --> 00:20:34.710 That's a heavy question. Let's hear about it. 00:20:34.970 --> 00:20:38.349 Yeah, no, it's a great question. And it takes 00:20:38.349 --> 00:20:41.670 me back to substance use prevention coalition 00:20:41.670 --> 00:20:45.130 work. And when you look at that type of work, 00:20:45.289 --> 00:20:48.650 you have 12 sectors of the community. It's government, 00:20:48.950 --> 00:20:51.950 it's law enforcement, it's hospitals, it's parents, 00:20:52.170 --> 00:20:55.509 it's religious organizations, it's small business. 00:20:56.029 --> 00:20:58.849 I'd have to get out the whole index, but there's 00:20:58.849 --> 00:21:03.660 12 sectors of the community. unless those 12 00:21:03.660 --> 00:21:08.059 sectors are collaborating efficiently, sharing 00:21:08.059 --> 00:21:11.700 data, sharing information. And I'll give you 00:21:11.700 --> 00:21:13.799 an example of sharing information. I had a friend, 00:21:13.920 --> 00:21:16.480 former police officer, tell me this story once. 00:21:16.619 --> 00:21:20.880 But there was a child in DCS, and that child's 00:21:20.880 --> 00:21:24.240 parents were pulled over in another county, and 00:21:24.240 --> 00:21:27.460 they found drugs in the car seat of that child. 00:21:27.640 --> 00:21:30.720 And so that child was entered into the system. 00:21:31.690 --> 00:21:34.589 As taken away from the family, put into DCS foster 00:21:34.589 --> 00:21:36.569 care, the family ended up getting the child back, 00:21:36.789 --> 00:21:39.309 did what they were supposed to do. But about 00:21:39.309 --> 00:21:42.089 three months earlier, there were issues at school 00:21:42.089 --> 00:21:46.329 with a sibling of the child. Major behavior issues, 00:21:46.609 --> 00:21:49.750 coming to school late, coming to school with 00:21:49.750 --> 00:21:52.710 just raggedy clothes on and not being kept up. 00:21:52.809 --> 00:21:55.009 And so there was a report made to their local 00:21:55.009 --> 00:22:02.480 DCS. These two DCSs could have connected. They 00:22:02.480 --> 00:22:05.099 could have collaborated, but they didn't know 00:22:05.099 --> 00:22:08.380 about this situation. The younger child ended 00:22:08.380 --> 00:22:12.619 up passing away from abuse and that could have 00:22:12.619 --> 00:22:14.539 been prevented if the collaboration would have 00:22:14.539 --> 00:22:17.099 been there. And I'm a huge fan of collaboration. 00:22:17.579 --> 00:22:20.819 I want to partner with everybody because if I 00:22:20.819 --> 00:22:24.660 can get DCS. to talk to the school and I can 00:22:24.660 --> 00:22:28.000 get the school to talk to the hospital and I 00:22:28.000 --> 00:22:30.519 can get the hospital to talk to the police departments 00:22:30.519 --> 00:22:34.160 share information about what's going on then 00:22:34.160 --> 00:22:37.599 we can effectively help these children especially 00:22:37.599 --> 00:22:41.799 the ones who are at really high risk of substance 00:22:41.799 --> 00:22:44.019 use in the future that's those kids who have 00:22:44.019 --> 00:22:47.160 the adverse childhood experiences so one of the 00:22:47.160 --> 00:22:50.650 things that we did here locally Tennessee got 00:22:50.650 --> 00:22:53.529 opioid abatement funds. And those funds came 00:22:53.529 --> 00:22:57.230 from the state of Tennessee sued Big Pharma. 00:22:57.490 --> 00:22:59.630 And Big Pharma had to pay out, I think it was 00:22:59.630 --> 00:23:02.289 Purdue, had to pay out money to the state of 00:23:02.289 --> 00:23:04.529 Tennessee. So the state of Tennessee, instead 00:23:04.529 --> 00:23:06.450 of just keeping it as the state of Tennessee, 00:23:06.710 --> 00:23:10.910 they distributed it to the local county governments. 00:23:11.029 --> 00:23:13.230 And they said, here's what each one of you get. 00:23:13.509 --> 00:23:18.309 And it's up to you to collaborate in. figure 00:23:18.309 --> 00:23:21.589 something out to do with it. So what we did as 00:23:21.589 --> 00:23:24.509 a community is we 12 sectors came together and 00:23:24.509 --> 00:23:27.450 we started to talk about what is the best. way 00:23:27.450 --> 00:23:31.210 to use this money and so what we did was we created 00:23:31.210 --> 00:23:34.549 three jobs in our community we created a community 00:23:34.549 --> 00:23:37.150 navigator someone who is going to be out on the 00:23:37.150 --> 00:23:40.470 front lines working with people in active substance 00:23:40.470 --> 00:23:43.589 use people who are unhoused they were going to 00:23:43.589 --> 00:23:45.970 be working with them and seeing if they could 00:23:45.970 --> 00:23:47.789 get them into treatment see if they can get them 00:23:47.789 --> 00:23:50.789 into housing get them food whatever that was 00:23:51.400 --> 00:23:54.299 The other job that we created was the emergency 00:23:54.299 --> 00:23:56.940 room navigator. So if you came into the emergency 00:23:56.940 --> 00:24:02.079 room under an overdose diagnosis, you were meeting 00:24:02.079 --> 00:24:06.640 with that navigator. And the ER navigator and 00:24:06.640 --> 00:24:09.500 the community navigator, they were sharing information. 00:24:10.339 --> 00:24:13.180 So if someone came in for an overdose, they would 00:24:13.180 --> 00:24:14.779 put it in the system and go, hey, this person 00:24:14.779 --> 00:24:16.779 came in for an overdose. And the community navigator 00:24:16.779 --> 00:24:20.180 would go, hey, yes, I just saw them today, and 00:24:20.180 --> 00:24:22.680 I'm glad they came in. They were very interested 00:24:22.680 --> 00:24:26.039 in treatment. And so, okay, now we're moving 00:24:26.039 --> 00:24:30.700 forward. The third position we created was, I'm 00:24:30.700 --> 00:24:32.599 trying to think of the name of it. It's a position 00:24:32.599 --> 00:24:36.299 in the school, and basically they're like a navigator. 00:24:36.670 --> 00:24:38.849 and so those three people communicate so now 00:24:38.849 --> 00:24:41.150 a person that's in the emergency room has kids 00:24:41.150 --> 00:24:44.210 they've been out in the community they've talked 00:24:44.210 --> 00:24:46.029 with the community navigator now we're letting 00:24:46.029 --> 00:24:49.509 the school know hey these kids they probably 00:24:49.509 --> 00:24:52.329 have an adverse childhood experience so what 00:24:52.329 --> 00:24:55.529 services can we get them now how can we intervene 00:24:55.529 --> 00:24:58.829 now what positive childhood experiences can we 00:24:58.829 --> 00:25:02.369 create for them now so that they have the right 00:25:02.369 --> 00:25:05.690 prevention in place so that they don't follow 00:25:05.690 --> 00:25:09.230 the same generational cycle that their guardian 00:25:09.230 --> 00:25:13.210 is. That's what collaboration really truly looks 00:25:13.210 --> 00:25:16.019 like. It's not about... getting credit. It's 00:25:16.019 --> 00:25:19.099 if we can come together and really take the funding 00:25:19.099 --> 00:25:22.259 that we get from whatever grants we can acquire. 00:25:22.599 --> 00:25:25.099 If your community does have opioid abatement 00:25:25.099 --> 00:25:28.480 money, I would figure out where that's at. And 00:25:28.480 --> 00:25:30.480 I would want to sit down as a community and say, 00:25:30.599 --> 00:25:35.059 how do we use this the best way to help people, 00:25:35.140 --> 00:25:39.920 but ultimately to keep kids safe? They can change 00:25:39.920 --> 00:25:43.500 the cycles that are happening in their neighborhoods. 00:25:44.559 --> 00:25:46.720 Yeah, it's so important for us to revise those 00:25:46.720 --> 00:25:49.740 broken systems. And I know in sociology, we call 00:25:49.740 --> 00:25:53.000 that organic solidarity and all the systems come 00:25:53.000 --> 00:25:55.980 together. It's like in a human body. If the kidney's 00:25:55.980 --> 00:25:58.700 not working or the stomach's not working or the 00:25:58.700 --> 00:26:01.500 brain isn't working, if something is off, it 00:26:01.500 --> 00:26:03.859 affects the way that the entire rest of the body 00:26:03.859 --> 00:26:05.920 works together. That's why we call it organic, 00:26:06.039 --> 00:26:08.920 organic solidarity. And I think when you have 00:26:08.920 --> 00:26:11.000 all the systems start to communicate to keep 00:26:11.000 --> 00:26:15.079 our students safe, for now. That's a big mistake 00:26:15.079 --> 00:26:18.559 I made when I was the teacher. I didn't collaborate 00:26:18.559 --> 00:26:20.359 with the system. Well, I tried to, but they weren't 00:26:20.359 --> 00:26:22.920 collaborating with me. I'll put blame where blame 00:26:22.920 --> 00:26:25.299 is due. They would not collaborate back with 00:26:25.299 --> 00:26:27.480 me. So I thought my job was to keep my students 00:26:27.480 --> 00:26:30.440 safe, period. I did not have the training for 00:26:30.440 --> 00:26:32.720 that. I was not a therapist. So now I'll put 00:26:32.720 --> 00:26:35.240 the blame back on myself. My job was to keep 00:26:35.240 --> 00:26:38.559 my students safe, comma, for now. The punctuation 00:26:38.559 --> 00:26:41.059 mattered. And I didn't acknowledge that, which 00:26:41.059 --> 00:26:43.950 got me into a lot of trouble. seeing myself as 00:26:43.950 --> 00:26:46.789 that therapist with no training nor means. And 00:26:46.789 --> 00:26:49.369 I think when these systems actually do start 00:26:49.369 --> 00:26:51.890 to communicate and collaborate, that just makes 00:26:51.890 --> 00:26:55.589 the bureaucracy so much more efficient. It really 00:26:55.589 --> 00:26:59.190 does. It really does. And it's not only efficient, 00:26:59.569 --> 00:27:03.869 but purposeful. Yes. And I think a lot of times 00:27:03.869 --> 00:27:05.890 when we look at community where they've got, 00:27:05.930 --> 00:27:07.930 okay, the police. departments coming together, 00:27:07.970 --> 00:27:09.670 fire departments coming together, the mayor's 00:27:09.670 --> 00:27:12.529 there. You got all these bureaucracies. You think 00:27:12.529 --> 00:27:15.569 there's no purpose in this. These are just people 00:27:15.569 --> 00:27:17.950 trying to scratch each other's backs and that's 00:27:17.950 --> 00:27:21.210 it. But one of the other things that was implemented 00:27:21.210 --> 00:27:23.069 here in our community, it's implemented in several 00:27:23.069 --> 00:27:26.950 communities across the East Coast. I don't know 00:27:26.950 --> 00:27:29.890 how far it goes out West, but it's called a handle 00:27:29.890 --> 00:27:33.349 with care. And so if there's an experience where 00:27:33.349 --> 00:27:36.799 a school age child. Maybe their house catches 00:27:36.799 --> 00:27:41.339 on fire or maybe their parents are up late arguing 00:27:41.339 --> 00:27:43.920 and the police have to come. Handle with care 00:27:43.920 --> 00:27:48.619 is an officer will arrive at the house and they 00:27:48.619 --> 00:27:50.759 find out what school those children go to and 00:27:50.759 --> 00:27:53.279 they send a handle with care notice to the school. 00:27:53.420 --> 00:27:57.980 And it just says, Johnny Smith, handle with care. 00:27:58.140 --> 00:28:00.900 That lets the school know that, hey, there is 00:28:00.900 --> 00:28:02.440 a situation. We're not going to tell you what 00:28:02.440 --> 00:28:04.930 it is. because this is not about spreading gossip. 00:28:04.970 --> 00:28:07.150 This is just about making sure that these kids 00:28:07.150 --> 00:28:10.509 can get services if they need them. So if the 00:28:10.509 --> 00:28:12.650 kid comes to school and there's behavior issues 00:28:12.650 --> 00:28:15.089 right away, oh, wait a second, we're not going 00:28:15.089 --> 00:28:16.890 to give them detention. We're going to handle 00:28:16.890 --> 00:28:18.829 them with care. Let's take them into the counselor's 00:28:18.829 --> 00:28:21.009 office. Let's let them calm down for a little 00:28:21.009 --> 00:28:22.930 bit. Maybe they're grumpy. Maybe they have behavior 00:28:22.930 --> 00:28:25.950 issues because they need a nap. So let's give 00:28:25.950 --> 00:28:29.309 them some space to take a nap. And then... let 00:28:29.309 --> 00:28:32.109 them re -engage back into school later in the 00:28:32.109 --> 00:28:34.630 day if that's what we have to do as a community 00:28:34.630 --> 00:28:36.950 to make sure that kids are safe then that's what 00:28:36.950 --> 00:28:39.809 we need to do the handle with care program you 00:28:39.809 --> 00:28:42.630 can find it through the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation 00:28:42.630 --> 00:28:48.009 and i'm sure it's in other local districts as 00:28:48.009 --> 00:28:50.549 well but if anyone is interested in that i can 00:28:50.549 --> 00:28:53.990 connect them with the director of that program 00:28:55.599 --> 00:28:57.559 I'm adding that to our show notes as well. So 00:28:57.559 --> 00:29:00.359 those will be available. And Barbara Sorrell's 00:29:00.359 --> 00:29:02.599 Reaching and Teaching Children Exposed to Trauma. 00:29:02.660 --> 00:29:05.359 She mentioned the exact same thing where it's 00:29:05.359 --> 00:29:08.700 a really significant game changer for really 00:29:08.700 --> 00:29:12.980 all parties. When you see a student who has suffered 00:29:12.980 --> 00:29:16.319 from an experience or an event or an instance, 00:29:16.460 --> 00:29:19.299 and that behavior starts to show in class, you 00:29:19.299 --> 00:29:21.599 change that conversation from what's wrong with 00:29:21.599 --> 00:29:25.440 you to how can I support you? And when you, as 00:29:25.440 --> 00:29:28.440 the program itself says, when you handle with 00:29:28.440 --> 00:29:32.180 care, it really helps the student heal and focus 00:29:32.180 --> 00:29:34.960 on decisions that may not continue to destroy 00:29:34.960 --> 00:29:37.039 them as a person as well or lead to destructive 00:29:37.039 --> 00:29:39.859 outcomes. Yeah, that's one of the questions that 00:29:39.859 --> 00:29:41.980 I mentioned in my talk when I talk with students 00:29:41.980 --> 00:29:44.839 is how everybody kept asking me the same question. 00:29:44.980 --> 00:29:47.839 What's wrong with you, Nathan? And nobody ever 00:29:47.839 --> 00:29:49.700 asked me, not that I can remember. I'm sure maybe 00:29:49.700 --> 00:29:52.130 somebody probably did, but. That I can remember 00:29:52.130 --> 00:29:54.809 nobody ever really asked me, hey, what happened? 00:29:55.809 --> 00:29:58.109 And how can I help you? And how can I help you? 00:29:58.309 --> 00:30:01.970 Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. And that's definitely 00:30:01.970 --> 00:30:03.829 one of the things that our own teachers listening 00:30:03.829 --> 00:30:06.490 should know as well. So Nathan, I wanted to know 00:30:06.490 --> 00:30:09.269 for our listeners here that are in charge of 00:30:09.269 --> 00:30:11.750 the classroom spaces, what guidance do you have 00:30:11.750 --> 00:30:14.569 for them to help focus on a more trauma -informed 00:30:14.569 --> 00:30:18.049 thought process while also not burning out? Because 00:30:18.049 --> 00:30:20.109 I'll also mention this, what got me into trouble. 00:30:20.809 --> 00:30:22.630 And why I left the classroom in the middle of 00:30:22.630 --> 00:30:25.430 the year was because I did take that trauma -informed 00:30:25.430 --> 00:30:27.569 approach, where I did ask, how can I help you? 00:30:27.809 --> 00:30:30.349 And I wasn't ready to hear that. My students 00:30:30.349 --> 00:30:32.750 were suicidal. They were isolated. They were 00:30:32.750 --> 00:30:34.609 feeling this. They were feeling that. Nor was 00:30:34.609 --> 00:30:37.750 I equipped to help them. But to the chagrin of 00:30:37.750 --> 00:30:42.250 my administration, I tried. And that's what led 00:30:42.250 --> 00:30:45.170 to both my burnout and my reason to leave because 00:30:45.170 --> 00:30:48.029 I was no longer viewed as just the eighth grade 00:30:48.029 --> 00:30:50.309 English teacher. I was like stepping on the toes 00:30:50.309 --> 00:30:53.470 of the school psychologist and it was a very 00:30:53.470 --> 00:30:56.430 bad situation. So what advice do you have for 00:30:56.430 --> 00:30:59.069 teachers to stay in their world, but still try 00:30:59.069 --> 00:31:03.230 and help? Yeah, I believe in micro moments and 00:31:03.230 --> 00:31:07.259 micro moments are just those. Little things that 00:31:07.259 --> 00:31:10.480 you do every day to let a student know that you 00:31:10.480 --> 00:31:13.960 see them, you hear them, and you value them. 00:31:14.160 --> 00:31:18.599 It doesn't mean that you give them the authority 00:31:18.599 --> 00:31:22.640 to behave any way they want to behave, but it 00:31:22.640 --> 00:31:25.420 shows them that you're there and that you do 00:31:25.420 --> 00:31:29.099 care. And I will tell you, as a kid, I didn't 00:31:29.099 --> 00:31:33.279 believe anybody cared. I didn't. Except for one 00:31:33.279 --> 00:31:37.559 teacher. And this one teacher, she was my sophomore 00:31:37.559 --> 00:31:40.279 English teacher. I guess you would call it ELA 00:31:40.279 --> 00:31:42.740 today. And in my freshman year, a lot of teachers 00:31:42.740 --> 00:31:45.980 wrote me off. I failed every class. I had got 00:31:45.980 --> 00:31:48.380 caught making fake report cards in school and 00:31:48.380 --> 00:31:51.119 had been in trouble for that. And a lot of teachers 00:31:51.119 --> 00:31:53.460 just said, this kid's just trouble. You don't 00:31:53.460 --> 00:31:55.839 want him in your class. And instead of looking 00:31:55.839 --> 00:31:58.759 at those notes, she called my parents. And she 00:31:58.759 --> 00:32:00.400 said, can you tell me what Nathan is interested 00:32:00.400 --> 00:32:03.380 in? I really want to like mold my class, not 00:32:03.380 --> 00:32:05.740 just after what he likes, but after what most 00:32:05.740 --> 00:32:09.039 of the kids like in my class. And I was a big 00:32:09.039 --> 00:32:11.579 Chicago Cubs and a big Chicago Bulls fan, Michael 00:32:11.579 --> 00:32:14.799 Jordan fan. And the first day of class, when 00:32:14.799 --> 00:32:17.140 I walked in, there were Chicago Cubs posters 00:32:17.140 --> 00:32:20.779 on the wall. And I thought, this is cool. Like 00:32:20.779 --> 00:32:25.059 I'm automatically interested now. And so we took 00:32:25.059 --> 00:32:28.579 that first semester to read about the life history 00:32:28.579 --> 00:32:32.339 of Willie Mays. And then we had to write reports 00:32:32.339 --> 00:32:34.920 on it, but I was engaged and I was having fun 00:32:34.920 --> 00:32:37.500 with it. And it was the best grade I ever got 00:32:37.500 --> 00:32:40.460 in high school. I never got a better grade than 00:32:40.460 --> 00:32:42.940 that, but it was those micro moments of just 00:32:42.940 --> 00:32:45.480 hanging a poster up. It was the micro moments 00:32:45.480 --> 00:32:48.240 of when I was walking down the hall and acting 00:32:48.240 --> 00:32:50.920 a fool, she would like, she'd fist bump me and 00:32:50.920 --> 00:32:54.720 she'd go, Nathan. And I go, I know, I know. And 00:32:54.720 --> 00:32:58.079 immediately I would cut it out because I would 00:32:58.079 --> 00:33:00.259 think about that classroom and how I wanted to 00:33:00.259 --> 00:33:03.140 be in it. not how I wanted to be suspended and 00:33:03.140 --> 00:33:06.119 just go home, but I wanted to go to that class 00:33:06.119 --> 00:33:08.000 and I want to make sure that I can still go to 00:33:08.000 --> 00:33:09.859 that class. So I'm going to stop acting like 00:33:09.859 --> 00:33:12.940 a fool in these hallways. So that's one of the 00:33:12.940 --> 00:33:15.680 things that I do quite often is when I go to 00:33:15.680 --> 00:33:18.279 speak at a school, I actually ask if I can just 00:33:18.279 --> 00:33:20.319 stay the whole day. I don't want to be there 00:33:20.319 --> 00:33:22.759 for just an hour and do my speech and then leave. 00:33:23.140 --> 00:33:25.940 I want to make a lasting impact. And I take that 00:33:25.940 --> 00:33:28.930 opportunity that whole day. for the micro moments. 00:33:29.089 --> 00:33:31.349 I'm going to fist bump kids in the hallway. I'm 00:33:31.349 --> 00:33:33.849 going to ask them what's on their shirt. I'm 00:33:33.849 --> 00:33:35.450 going to tell them that I like their glasses. 00:33:35.910 --> 00:33:37.529 I'm going to tell them that I like their shoes. 00:33:38.029 --> 00:33:41.569 I'm going to ask them questions about their favorite 00:33:41.569 --> 00:33:44.029 class in school. I'm going to sit with them at 00:33:44.029 --> 00:33:47.490 lunch. And honestly, during lunchtime, I look 00:33:47.490 --> 00:33:50.450 for the kid sitting alone. And I'm going to go 00:33:50.450 --> 00:33:52.849 sit with that kid. I know as teachers, you are 00:33:52.849 --> 00:33:55.640 busy. And you probably have to grab your lunch 00:33:55.640 --> 00:33:58.019 and do your planning. But I guarantee you there's 00:33:58.019 --> 00:34:01.240 a kid in your cafeteria sitting alone that needs 00:34:01.240 --> 00:34:04.660 to be seen, valued, and heard. And you have an 00:34:04.660 --> 00:34:06.940 opportunity to take your lunch and sit down with 00:34:06.940 --> 00:34:09.340 them and just ask them what they're interested 00:34:09.340 --> 00:34:13.110 in. Ask them what they love to do. Ask them what 00:34:13.110 --> 00:34:16.530 their favorite thing about life is. And you will 00:34:16.530 --> 00:34:19.309 see a kid that goes from sitting alone at a table 00:34:19.309 --> 00:34:22.210 to a kid that has friends within just a couple 00:34:22.210 --> 00:34:25.670 of weeks because you gave them the space to be 00:34:25.670 --> 00:34:29.110 valued, seen, and heard. It's the micro moments. 00:34:29.329 --> 00:34:32.909 I've been doing those micro moments for three 00:34:32.909 --> 00:34:36.230 to four years. And I'll help my local schools 00:34:36.230 --> 00:34:38.389 if they have a student who has some behavior 00:34:38.389 --> 00:34:41.750 issues. I'll just go and stand in the hallway. 00:34:42.199 --> 00:34:45.320 before school starts and I'll wait for that student 00:34:45.320 --> 00:34:47.639 to walk by and I'll be like, oh man, you got 00:34:47.639 --> 00:34:50.239 a lot of riz, don't you? And I'll fist bump them. 00:34:50.300 --> 00:34:52.360 I won't ask their name. I won't do nothing. We'll 00:34:52.360 --> 00:34:55.179 just do that at first. And then eventually I'm 00:34:55.179 --> 00:34:57.260 going to get their name. Eventually we're going 00:34:57.260 --> 00:34:59.760 to have conversations and eventually there's 00:34:59.760 --> 00:35:03.119 an opportunity to mentor that student. And I 00:35:03.119 --> 00:35:07.099 will tell you that there just aren't enough mentors 00:35:07.099 --> 00:35:10.519 for students. If you have the ability, if you 00:35:10.519 --> 00:35:12.619 have the background, if you have a clean, safe 00:35:12.619 --> 00:35:15.880 background, become a mentor for a student because 00:35:15.880 --> 00:35:19.320 every single student needs a mentor and there 00:35:19.320 --> 00:35:21.159 just aren't enough. But it's the micro moments. 00:35:21.260 --> 00:35:23.019 You don't have to be a therapist. You don't have 00:35:23.019 --> 00:35:25.880 to worry about being trauma informed. You just 00:35:25.880 --> 00:35:31.420 have to see the humanity in people. And that's 00:35:31.420 --> 00:35:35.300 it. And if a kid feels that teacher saw me today, 00:35:35.519 --> 00:35:37.519 they're not only going to have better behavior. 00:35:38.480 --> 00:35:40.860 they're going to have better outcomes in the 00:35:40.860 --> 00:35:44.579 classroom. And that's what we need. We need the 00:35:44.579 --> 00:35:47.019 better behavior. We need the better outcomes 00:35:47.019 --> 00:35:50.260 in the classroom, not for our benefit, not so 00:35:50.260 --> 00:35:52.039 that the standards are this and the standards 00:35:52.039 --> 00:35:55.619 are that, but because now we're creating a culture 00:35:55.619 --> 00:36:00.519 of, hey, I'm valued and there's value in this 00:36:00.519 --> 00:36:03.920 culture. I have worth and there's worth in this 00:36:03.920 --> 00:36:08.050 culture and I'm seen. And I can see other people. 00:36:08.250 --> 00:36:10.889 And now I can, as a student, now I can be the 00:36:10.889 --> 00:36:13.070 fist bumper. Now I can be the head like your 00:36:13.070 --> 00:36:16.070 shirt. And when those things start to cycle in 00:36:16.070 --> 00:36:18.789 a school, you automatically reduce substance 00:36:18.789 --> 00:36:21.750 use and violence. When kindness is the culture 00:36:21.750 --> 00:36:25.070 of the school, you automatically reduce substance 00:36:25.070 --> 00:36:27.909 use and violence. Because it's not at the front 00:36:27.909 --> 00:36:29.769 of their mind. It's how can I be kind today? 00:36:30.269 --> 00:36:33.130 And that's what our schools need. We need to 00:36:33.130 --> 00:36:37.139 change the culture. to kindness, and that will 00:36:37.139 --> 00:36:40.780 change everything for you. And having that with 00:36:40.780 --> 00:36:43.219 it -ness as well. And I appreciate all of our 00:36:43.219 --> 00:36:45.179 educators who take that time. And your story 00:36:45.179 --> 00:36:46.940 with your 10th grade English teacher gives me 00:36:46.940 --> 00:36:49.840 all the feels and a big shout out to all educators 00:36:49.840 --> 00:36:52.159 everywhere who make those changes and students 00:36:52.159 --> 00:36:56.340 every day. I'm also thinking about when you were 00:36:56.340 --> 00:36:58.619 on the front lines of youth empowerment, speaking 00:36:58.619 --> 00:37:01.820 about mental health, substance misuse, and resilience, 00:37:02.139 --> 00:37:04.739 what are some of the biggest misconceptions that 00:37:04.739 --> 00:37:07.260 schools and communities have on these topics? 00:37:07.320 --> 00:37:10.059 And as we approach our closeout, how can teachers 00:37:10.059 --> 00:37:13.099 and schools better show up for students to help 00:37:13.099 --> 00:37:15.699 them within these areas? Eliminate the stigma. 00:37:16.650 --> 00:37:18.650 That's my answer. It's always going to be my 00:37:18.650 --> 00:37:21.010 answer. Having someone come in to talk about 00:37:21.010 --> 00:37:24.190 mental health, teen mental health, teaching teenagers 00:37:24.190 --> 00:37:26.590 how to provide teen mental health first aid to 00:37:26.590 --> 00:37:29.110 their classmates, that doesn't mean that you 00:37:29.110 --> 00:37:31.929 have a mental health issue in your school. It 00:37:31.929 --> 00:37:33.570 doesn't mean that every student is suffering 00:37:33.570 --> 00:37:37.780 with mental health. It just means that I'll go 00:37:37.780 --> 00:37:39.760 back to the five Ps in life. It's just proper 00:37:39.760 --> 00:37:42.480 preparation prevents poor performance. So if 00:37:42.480 --> 00:37:44.619 I do have a student who's struggling someday 00:37:44.619 --> 00:37:48.619 and they're not coping well, but I've taught 00:37:48.619 --> 00:37:50.739 every single student teen mental health first 00:37:50.739 --> 00:37:54.460 aid, that student's going to be okay. But there's 00:37:54.460 --> 00:37:58.460 this stigma of we don't need that. We don't have 00:37:58.460 --> 00:38:00.360 a mental health issue in our school. We don't 00:38:00.360 --> 00:38:01.820 want anybody to know we have a mental health 00:38:01.820 --> 00:38:03.960 issue in our school. If you're trying to hide 00:38:03.960 --> 00:38:07.320 it, it's probably there. Yeah. Yes. And if there's 00:38:07.320 --> 00:38:10.159 smoke, there's fire. Yes. It's just, listen, 00:38:10.239 --> 00:38:12.820 we're trying to keep kids alive. The rate of 00:38:12.820 --> 00:38:16.239 teen suicide has skyrocketed and we're trying 00:38:16.239 --> 00:38:18.860 to keep kids alive. And I think you would rather 00:38:18.860 --> 00:38:20.980 have your kid go through teen mental health first 00:38:20.980 --> 00:38:25.260 aid than for you to go through a funeral service. 00:38:26.659 --> 00:38:29.699 I believe that. So it's reducing the stigma and 00:38:29.699 --> 00:38:33.400 openly talking about. mental health and it's 00:38:33.400 --> 00:38:35.619 okay to say hey one time i went to a counselor 00:38:35.619 --> 00:38:38.960 you don't have to share why or when or where 00:38:38.960 --> 00:38:41.420 hey i went to a counselor once and it helped 00:38:41.420 --> 00:38:44.699 it's okay to do that but we've got to reduce 00:38:44.699 --> 00:38:48.460 the stigma in our schools and kids they want 00:38:48.460 --> 00:38:52.579 to talk about mental health they do it's we can 00:38:52.579 --> 00:38:55.000 show you the data like they're they're feeling 00:38:55.000 --> 00:38:57.019 it and they don't know why or how to talk to 00:38:57.019 --> 00:38:59.500 someone about it Yeah, and they don't know who 00:38:59.500 --> 00:39:02.099 to turn to. They don't really know who the right 00:39:02.099 --> 00:39:05.460 trusted adult is. Is it my guardian? Is it my 00:39:05.460 --> 00:39:09.219 school counselor? Is it my coach? But they want 00:39:09.219 --> 00:39:11.159 to talk about it. I mean, you can just Google 00:39:11.159 --> 00:39:15.059 the statistics on this, and kids overwhelmingly 00:39:15.059 --> 00:39:18.139 want to talk about mental health. And if we start 00:39:18.139 --> 00:39:19.960 having those discussions instead of sweeping 00:39:19.960 --> 00:39:22.519 it under the rug, then things will start to change. 00:39:22.920 --> 00:39:25.820 But if we don't, we're going to get the same 00:39:25.820 --> 00:39:27.559 results. Nothing changes if nothing changes. 00:39:28.079 --> 00:39:29.920 And is there anything in our conversation today 00:39:29.920 --> 00:39:31.739 that we haven't touched on yet that you wanted 00:39:31.739 --> 00:39:33.599 to share with our listeners or a key takeaway 00:39:33.599 --> 00:39:38.659 for them as well? Man, I just, I get to, sometimes 00:39:38.659 --> 00:39:40.699 I get to do assemblies. I get to sit in the big 00:39:40.699 --> 00:39:43.320 auditoriums and then some days I'm in a classroom 00:39:43.320 --> 00:39:46.679 for the whole day. And it's taught me something. 00:39:46.860 --> 00:39:50.219 It's taught me that educators are underappreciated. 00:39:50.579 --> 00:39:53.900 They're underpaid and they're undervalued. And 00:39:53.900 --> 00:39:57.219 I just, I just want to express. my sentiment 00:39:57.219 --> 00:40:01.219 that if you are an educator you are doing selfless 00:40:01.219 --> 00:40:06.099 work and the effort that you put in each and 00:40:06.099 --> 00:40:09.780 every single day it's not going unnoticed people 00:40:09.780 --> 00:40:14.039 do see it and people do appreciate it and from 00:40:14.039 --> 00:40:17.139 the bottom of my heart if you are an educator 00:40:17.139 --> 00:40:20.340 and you have a student who has behavior issues 00:40:20.340 --> 00:40:23.719 who might have some substance use issues i will 00:40:23.719 --> 00:40:27.099 tell you be like a 10th grade English teacher 00:40:27.099 --> 00:40:32.500 and figure out what they love and pinpoint that 00:40:32.500 --> 00:40:35.300 and talk to them about that. It doesn't matter 00:40:35.300 --> 00:40:37.039 if you teach math and they want to talk about 00:40:37.039 --> 00:40:40.519 science. If you teach art and they want to talk 00:40:40.519 --> 00:40:44.820 about mechanics, pinpoint what they love and 00:40:44.820 --> 00:40:47.539 just be that person for them because they need 00:40:47.539 --> 00:40:50.280 it so desperately. But you all are doing an amazing 00:40:50.280 --> 00:40:53.630 job and I'm so thankful for you all. We're equally 00:40:53.630 --> 00:40:55.489 gratified that you're part of our system as well, 00:40:55.489 --> 00:40:58.010 Nathan. So thank you so much. So Nathan, thank 00:40:58.010 --> 00:41:00.309 you so much for your honesty, your heart and 00:41:00.309 --> 00:41:02.570 your advocacy in today's conversation. And your 00:41:02.570 --> 00:41:05.369 message reminds us that our greatest setbacks 00:41:05.369 --> 00:41:07.889 can really shape our greatest impacts as well. 00:41:07.969 --> 00:41:10.130 And that educators have the power to either break 00:41:10.130 --> 00:41:13.269 cycles or build bridges. And if you're listening 00:41:13.269 --> 00:41:15.050 and want to bring Nathan's message to your school 00:41:15.050 --> 00:41:18.010 or community, visit NathanRaySpeaks .com as seen 00:41:18.010 --> 00:41:20.010 in our show notes or follow him on Instagram 00:41:20.010 --> 00:41:23.050 and TikTok at NathanRaySpeaks for more. We'll 00:41:23.050 --> 00:41:24.769 see you next time on the Classroom Narratives 00:41:24.769 --> 00:41:26.949 podcast where healing and education continue 00:41:26.949 --> 00:41:31.070 to go hand in hand. Bye. Thank you. Thank you 00:41:31.070 --> 00:41:33.389 for joining us on the Classroom Narratives healing 00:41:33.389 --> 00:41:36.210 and education podcast. If today's episode inspired 00:41:36.210 --> 00:41:38.829 you or made you think differently, I'd love to 00:41:38.829 --> 00:41:41.519 hear from you. Drop a comment or review wherever 00:41:41.519 --> 00:41:43.960 you listen to podcasts and stay connected with 00:41:43.960 --> 00:41:46.800 us on the At Classroom Narratives podcast over 00:41:46.800 --> 00:41:50.079 Instagram and Facebook. Remember, together we 00:41:50.079 --> 00:41:52.760 can transform our scars into stars in education, 00:41:53.179 --> 00:41:55.440 one conversation at a time.