1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:10,040 The Three Billy Goats Buff 2 00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:16,000 Once upon a time in the land of Gainesville, there lived three Billy Goats who were anything 3 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:22,680 but ordinary. These goats weren't just into nibbling grass and climbing hills. No, these 4 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:29,920 guys lived for the pump, the grind, and the glory of the gym. They were Big Buff Bruno, 5 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:35,600 Ripped Ricky, and their little sister, the deceptively strong and full of surprises, 6 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:42,360 Tiny Tina. The goats had one goal in mind, to win the prestigious goat competition, 7 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:48,080 that's right, the greatest of all time contest for Billy Goats. It was an event where the 8 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:54,440 buffest, strongest, and swolest Billy Goats gathered to prove their might. But there was 9 00:00:54,440 --> 00:01:01,040 one small, okay, big problem. To get to the competition, they had to cross a bridge, a 10 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:06,440 bridge guarded by none other than El Toro the Terrible, a troll who also happened to 11 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:13,440 be a lucha libra wrestling legend. And this troll didn't let anyone cross without a proper 12 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:20,080 wrestling showdown. Now, our buff goats weren't ones to back down from a challenge, but they 13 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:26,560 were also on a tight schedule. Leg day waits for no one. 14 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:33,240 A short while. Later at the bridge of doom and flexing, Big Buff Bruno led the pack, 15 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:39,440 his enormous biceps gleaming in the sun, and his protein shaker rattling as he walked. 16 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:44,080 As they approached the rickety old bridge, a booming voice rang out from underneath 17 00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:51,400 it. Who dares to cross the bridge of El Toro the Terrible? came the roar. With a dramatic 18 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:57,640 somersault, El Toro leaped up from under the bridge, landing perfectly on both feet. 19 00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:04,200 He was decked out in a glittering red and gold wrestling mask, cape flowing behind him 20 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:12,040 like he was headlining WrestleMania. He spread his arms wide and yelled, Lucha Libre! 21 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:17,560 Big Buff Bruno rolled his eyes. Look, man, we're just trying to get to the goat competition. 22 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:25,200 We don't have time for this nonsense. Nonsense, El Toro gasped, as though Bruno had just insulted 23 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:30,480 his mother's cooking. There is no greater honor than facing me in the sacred ring of 24 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:36,400 combat. If you want to cross, you'll have to face me. No one escapes my bridge without 25 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:42,000 a fight. Ripped Ricky, who had been flexing in the background just in case anyone was 26 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:49,240 taking selfies, stepped up. Fine, but how about this? We'll do it three on one. We'll 27 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:55,680 tag Team U and still get to the competition in time. El Toro's eyes gleamed from behind 28 00:02:55,680 --> 00:03:04,320 his mask. Ah, three on one, you say. Now we're talking. He struck a ridiculous pose, flexing 29 00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:11,160 his biceps. But if we're going to do this, we do it big. How about we put on a show? 30 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:15,760 All the goat competitors will be there and we'll give them a match they'll never forget. 31 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:21,160 In front of the whole crowd, three on one tag team, Lucha Libre. I'll even let the little 32 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:28,040 one here take a shot at me. Tiny Tina, who had been silently deadlifting a rock the size 33 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:34,160 of a small car, narrowed her eyes. You're going to regret that troll, and so, with a 34 00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:39,960 shrug and a flex, the goats agreed. They'd crossed a heebridge and face El Toro in the 35 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:47,040 biggest wrestling match of their lives. A short while later at the goat competition 36 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:56,000 arena. The sun was setting, casting a golden glow over the arena. Goats from all over Gainesville 37 00:03:56,000 --> 00:04:02,320 had gathered to see who was the buffest. But little did they know they were about to witness 38 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:08,720 the most ridiculous match of the century. El Toro entered first, some assaulting into 39 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:14,000 the ring, his cape fluttering behind him like he was preparing to face the rock. 40 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:19,880 La-dies and gentle goats, he shouted, his voice echoing across the mountains. Prepare 41 00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:27,120 yourselves for a battle of epic proportions. Today, I face not one, not two, but three 42 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:34,640 billy goats buff. The crowd roared with excitement. Some of the goats in the front row even held 43 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:43,020 up glittering signs that read, hash team Toro and swole goals. And in this corner, the announcers' 44 00:04:43,020 --> 00:04:48,680 voice boomed, from the land of Gainesville, with muscles of steel and calves that could 45 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:56,080 crush coconuts. Give it up for Big Buff Bruno, ripped Ricky, and tiny Tina, the three billy 46 00:04:56,080 --> 00:05:03,280 goats buff. The goats strutted into the ring, flexing and posing like bodybuilders at a 47 00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:09,520 competition. Bruno ripped off his tank top, Ricky showed off his 12 pack abs, and Tina 48 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:17,880 cracked her knuckles ready for action. The bell rang. Ding! The match was on. Big Buff 49 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:25,600 Bruno, always the boldest, charged into the ring first. He grabbed El Toro in a lock, 50 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:31,760 muscles bulging like they were about to rip through his skin. But El Toro was slippery, 51 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:36,160 flipping Bruno over his head and landing with a dramatic pose. 52 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:44,120 Ole! he shouted, cape twirling as he showed off his wrestling flair. Next up, ripped Ricky 53 00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:50,640 stormed in, his muscles gleaming like freshly polished armor. He leaped off the ropes and 54 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:56,880 attempted a flying tackle. But El Toro dodged with a graceful cartwheel, landing in another 55 00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:58,360 ridiculous pose. 56 00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:05,000 You've got to do better than that, amigo. El Toro winked, the crowd eating it up. Ricky 57 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,920 groaned, tagging in tiny Tina. 58 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:15,920 All right, sis, your turn. Tiny Tina cracked her neck, flexed her surprisingly large arms, 59 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:22,680 and marched into the ring, locking eyes with El Toro. He gave her a smug smile, ready to 60 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:27,960 give up, little one. But Tina wasn't about to be outdone. With a move that shocked the 61 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:34,120 entire crowd, she grabbed El Toro and lifted him clean off his feet with a gorilla-pressed 62 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:36,160 slam. 63 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:43,160 The goats in the crowd lost it, bleeding wildly and throwing hay in the air. El Toro gasped, 64 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:46,560 genuinely stunned for the first time in his career. 65 00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:54,000 I... I submit! he groaned dramatically, waving a tiny white flag he pulled out of nowhere. 66 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:58,960 The crowd erupted in cheers as Tiny Tina stood triumphantly, flexing her muscles for the roaring 67 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:02,040 audience. 68 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:07,560 A short while later at the awards ceremony. As the dust settled, the three Billy Goats 69 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:14,120 buff stood tall on the winner's podium. They were crowned the buffest goats of all time, 70 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:18,120 and the goat title was officially theirs. 71 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:23,240 El Toro, who had recovered from his epic defeat, joined them on stage. 72 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:30,120 You goats put on a good show, he said, rubbing his sore back. Especially you, Tiny Tina. 73 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:37,440 You've got the heart of a true champion. Tina smiled. Maybe next year we'll have a rematch. 74 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:40,000 You might want to start training. 75 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:47,480 El Toro laughed, giving a dramatic bow. I'll be ready, little one. I'll be ready. 76 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:53,800 And so the three Billy Goats buff, along with their new friend El Toro, celebrated their 77 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:59,760 victory. With their heads held high and their muscles flexed for all to see, they had proven 78 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:05,360 themselves not just as buff Billy Goats, but as true legends of the goat competition. 79 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:08,360 The end. Or is it? 80 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:16,040 When the sun goes down and the stars come out, three buff goats are wandering about, 81 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:20,960 Big buff Bruno, Ricky with his might, and Tiny Tina ready to fight. 82 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:30,760 Go to sleep, little kid, dream of the rain. When the goats wrestle, trolls, oh what a thing. 83 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:43,080 Let's send their muscles, showin' their stuff. Three Billy Goats buff, oh they're so tough. 84 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:48,280 They crossed a bridge, they met El Toro, who flipped into a world like there's no tomorrow. 85 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:53,240 The little Tina was way too strong, she swam that troll before too long. 86 00:08:53,240 --> 00:09:03,080 Go to sleep, little kid, dream of the rain. When the goats wrestle, trolls, oh what a thing. 87 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:13,920 Let's send their muscles, showin' their stuff. Three Billy Goats buff, oh they're so tough. 88 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:23,840 Tiny Tina's flexin' as you close your eyes. Ricky's doin' push ups under moonlit skies. 89 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:33,280 Bruno's lifting weights made of candy bars. While you drift off to dream when counting stars. 90 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:42,120 Go to sleep, little kid, dream of the rain. When the goats wrestle, trolls, oh what a thing. 91 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:52,240 Let's send their muscles, showin' their stuff. Three Billy Goats buff, oh they're so tough. 92 00:09:52,240 --> 00:10:00,520 So dream of the goats, so big and strong. Dream of the troll, who danced along. 93 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:05,480 Close your eyes and don't make a peep. The goats are here, now go to sleep. 94 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:12,760 Good night, little champs, we dream away of wrestling, flexin' and bein' great.