If your goal is to compete at a national or international
level, you need a support team. You can't just
rely on your coach because your coach... is needs
to be focused on weightlifting right and the
coach can seek outside education but the coach
doesn't have the qualifications and the educational
background to do nutrition to do the sports psych
to do you know the massage therapy right like
body work right yeah the the physical therapy
right these are things where you need a support
team Hi, Tom. It's my pleasure to have you on
Evidence Strong Show. If you could briefly introduce
yourself. Yeah, thank you so much for having
me. This is super exciting. So I'm Tom Smalley.
I'm a certified mental performance consultant,
the founder and owner of my own private practice,
Struggle and Destrain Performance. And it's all
about helping high performers with their mental
fitness and getting them to be the best they
can be when their best is required. So it's been
kind of my MO and my career is to help people
bridge the gap between fitness. physical and
mental fitness and understand that there's a
whole different side to things that you need
to address. You have some experience in Olympic
weightlifting too, don't you? Yeah, yeah. So
I am a competitive weightlifter myself. Being
in weightlifting, seeing how... welcoming the
community is seeing how really how small the
community is right like a lot of people know
each other it's been a joy to start working with
some weightlifters you know starting out that
wasn't my main population and then pretty soon
when people figured out that I was a competitive
weightlifter I think there's something to be
said about someone that's been in in the same
arena as them and so when I'm working with weightlifters
you know I have about about 30 weightlifters
I see consistently as individual clients. It's
really, really interesting to work with people
that I think very much connect with on a personal
level too, because I know what they're going
through. And so I think I address things a little
bit differently and I'm a little bit more creative
because I know the sport so well. Excellent.
So excited to have you and to pick your brain
on some tips, how to support weightlifters best
for coaches and for weightlifters too. So let's
imagine we are... bringing the weightlifter to
the gym and we are a coach, how to create the
environment that will be amazing in terms of
not only training the physical part of the sport,
but also the mental? Yeah, it's a really good
question. I think a lot of people do it differently.
I think I want to start with a lot of coaches
in weightlifting and in, you know, in other sports,
people have, athletes are often given labels,
right? So they're always, you have athletes that
will be given labels like they're not. a clutch
or they're not they don't they have a low motor
right their their effort isn't great and it's
our job as coaches it's the coach's job to produce
a culture and an environment that allows them
to one understand how to face adversity head
-on understand how to cope with adversity and
manage it Manage pressure. And then also the
environment needs to be made a environment that
is self -motivating. Right. So a lot of times
I'll have coaches that I that I consult with
and they'll ask me, this person's effort isn't
like they're just not giving everything they
have. And it's like, OK, well, what are we doing
as coaches to produce an environment that makes
that athlete want to give everything they have?
Right. And so I think that is like the struggle
that the coaches have is is producing that environment.
that makes athletes autonomous, right? And give
everything they have. And I think that starts
with creating a culture of emphasizing the process
over outcome. Like that is like number one. If
you're already, if a new lifter is coming into
the gym and they're new to weightlifting and
you're already emphasizing, we want to hit these
numbers and we want to do this and medal and
podium at nationals, you're going to lose them
real fast because one, you're already going to
place them in a place where they're going to
experience some burnout because now they're.
feeling fresher immediately to be at a certain
level so we want to try to almost i like to say
there's a difference between standards and expectations
right expectations are placed on us by other
people maybe they're placed on us by ourselves
by past performances but those expectations are
outcome related right and we can't necessarily
control the outcome but we can control as coaches
as athletes as people we can control our standards
and so the biggest i would say objective for
a coach is to have standards in your gym. Have
standards of your values, right? Is it consistency?
Is it discipline? Is it empathy? Whatever those
values are, define those. Have clear standards
of what your gym's values are. And then when
the athlete walks in, make sure those values
are known because that athlete is going to understand,
like, this is what's important first, is being
this type of athlete, right? Trying to... show
up as this type of athlete not worried about
outcome aside how do they how do you want to
show up on competition day on in training day
to day and that having values and standards that
of we're going to give all of our effort. We're
going to, even as something as simple as we're
going to reflect thoughtfully after training
sessions, right? So like these are standards
we can control, right? And when you can control
those standards, now you're thinking very process
oriented. Any practical tips? So should you have
a board with your values written on the wall?
Should you, what are the options coaches have?
Yeah, I think the options are, you know, I think
having signs and like signage on the wall. People
don't view. Realize how far that goes. Like,
you know, even a website that lists your core
values. Right. It brings legit feeling to, OK,
these are this is what matters in this space.
Right. And then the as a coach, they need to
embody that as well. Right. So you can't have
core values and not follow them yourself. So
when you make those core values, make sure that's
something that you're going to adhere to also,
because I've been in rooms where the coach, the
leadership expects people to follow something.
But the leader isn't. doing it themselves and
it's very very challenging as an athlete to try
to follow something that even that it looks like
the leader doesn't even believe in right so as
a coach i think the practical tip is finding
values and standards putting Weights back, you
know, putting things back where you found them,
cleaning the barbells off, little details like
that, cultivating that environment, having those
standards that aren't necessarily outcome based
and forcing the athlete to think about numbers
creates an environment that is going to allow
the athlete to grow because you're not just coaching
them in weightlifting. You're coaching them for,
you know, for for life, too. Right. Like you're
coaching them for real life outside of weightlifting
things. And so I think if you can. applied those
standards in a weight room, they're going to
translate outside too. So I think, yeah, I mean,
whiteboard, I like to have, I like to make sure
every, I would, if I was a coach starting a club,
I would say, make sure everybody has a training
journal because how you reflect on things after
training is going to carry into the next session.
And, you know, I think having a training journal,
allowing them to write things down. Shows them
the process a little bit more than, you know,
just posting it on Instagram. So how would you
advise while here how the training log, the training
journal should look like? Typical training journal
for me, personally, the weightlifter, I like
to do like put my training in what, you know,
what my coach is giving me. And then I have a
spot for reflection. So as a mental performance
consultant, I do with my clients what I call
a WWW, WWI list. So it's just a T chart, right?
down the middle and then it's just what went
well what's worth improving so what the idea
is to try to get rid of language around good
and bad right the minute we start labeling things
as good and bad we start falling into narratives
and our thoughts are now labeled as I shouldn't
have this thought or I should have this thought
or this thought is bad to have during training
and competition. And this thought is good to
have during training and competition. And so
when we start thinking about that, we start getting
into a fight or flight if we start having certain
thoughts. And so we want to try to get away from
the language of good and bad, negative and positive,
right? Where a lot of people are and really just
take. Three or five things that we felt we did
well that we can control. Right. So it's not
like, oh, I snatched 100 today. That was great.
Right. Like, that's awesome. Right. That's yeah.
I mean, that's a great day. But like, no, we
want to say like I was intentional with how I
stayed. I kept the bar close to my body today
during my during my first poll. Right. So like
something really down to the details. And then
or like I would I loved how I was intentional
about the affirmations that I was telling myself
before. taking a tough look. Right. So something
that we did that we could control and carry into
the next session. And then the other side is
what's worth improving. Right. And so it's not
the negatives. Right. It's looking at these things
that we did that maybe we didn't do at the highest
level that we want to take for next time to improve
on. Right. So it's not saying like this was bad
and I don't know how I'm going to fix it. It's
looking at these things we didn't do great and
looking at it as an opportunity to improve on
them for next time. Right. So we take some. something
self -defeating maybe and turn it into something
self -enhancing. So it's looking at that what's
worth improving with that growth mindset of,
hey, like these are just a few things that I
want to be intentional about next time. There
are athletes who are very easy to talk to. Maybe
they have similar personality to the coach. So
they, you know, the bonding is very easy and
instant. But there are other athletes who are,
maybe they are different. Maybe they are just
different from the coach. Maybe they are a little
bit more reserved. How to build an effective
community. communication because the more coach
understands the athlete, the better the coaching
would be, presumably. So how to implement effective
communication? Totally. And I think this is a
PSA to athletes too. It isn't all on the coach,
right? So when you choose to be an athlete at
a competitive level, you're choosing the responsibility
to also communicate. It doesn't mean you have
to be this outgoing, you know, extroverted human
being. Your bare minimum responsibility as an
elite level athlete or as a competitive athlete
is to communicate with your coach because your
coach is not a mind reader. So any athletes listening
to this, you have is your responsibility as well
as much as it is the coaches. That being said,
I think it's really a good practice to get into
to for the coach to just ask straight up. Hey,
like what are your preferred communication styles?
Like, do you want me to check in daily? Do you
want me to check in weekly? Can I match? your
expectations for me. Athletes have, coaches have
expectations for their athletes and athletes
should have expectations for their coaches. And
it's important for both sides to understand what
those expectations are. Similar to the athlete.
joining a gym. These are our standards. And these
are the standards and values that we go by at
this gym. And we want you to embody that. And
so the coach and the athlete need to make sure
they can meet the expectations. Is that an expectation
that I can meet? Can I check in with this person
every day? I wouldn't tell my client that I'm
going to check in daily if I actually knew I
wouldn't be able to do that. So really setting
those clear boundaries of understanding what
that athlete needs in terms of communication
but then the other aspect right is is the athlete
needs to understand that coaches are mind readers
and you can't get what you need from a coach
if you're not going to ask for it right the worst
thing is they could say is no so I think there's
there's obviously two sides to it in terms of
understanding what an athlete I really think
that's a discussion that you have to have with
the athlete. I don't think it's something you
don't want to leave it up to chance. Right. So
like you don't want to get this athlete coming
to your gym and then, you know, try to check
in frequently and then just back off because
you realize they're not responding. Right. So
the more legwork you do up front with getting
to know the athlete and building that relationship,
the easier the communication is going to be down
the line. How would you go about it? Would you
suggest having an interview? when the athlete
comes into the gym or what are the best ways
to do it, do you think? Yeah, I think it's a
conversation. I think, you know, if athletes
are unable to advocate for themselves or if it's
a younger athlete, scales are great, right? Inventories
are great. You know, it's an easy way for an
athlete to fill something out and you to get
an idea of, you know, okay, maybe they don't
want me to talk to them as much or what kind
of... of motivation do they like, right? Do they
like someone that's rah -rah and pumped up? Or
do they like someone that's calm, right? So people
respond differently to different styles of coaching.
So I think trying to put together an inventory
of finding out what that athlete needs is another
way, or like a survey, right? To understand what
that athlete needs is another way to get information
without having to have a direct conversation.
But in my opinion, if you can't have that conversation
with an athlete, then they're not at the emotional
maturity level. to handle being a competitive
athlete. Interesting. Two questions on that.
Some young athletes, you know, they come from
different backgrounds. They may actually be lacking
in communication skills when they come to the
gym and yet they may be a talented athlete and
you as a coach may decide, okay, I will try to
work with them nonetheless. Now, how would you
bridge this gap or how would you teach the athlete
to communicate? Would you have any advice or
tips? The first thing I would do is make sure
that the athlete knows that they're talented
right and that they have a good shot at being
good at this but like with like every elite athlete
there's going to be work involved with it so
understand getting them to understand what it
takes right and what what it takes to be great
and then with that you start building buy -in
so trust isn't built overnight and i think that
is something that people struggle with because
they want that instant trust right but trust
is like you putting dollars into an atm in small
moments where you showed up for that person right
it's not you know there might be some moments
bigger than others but as a as an athlete You
don't just immediately gain trust. A coach can't
just immediately gain trust from an athlete,
right? So some quicker than others, but you want
to make sure you're daily depositing that trust,
right? And so a lot of that goes with just continually
showing up for the athlete, showing in different
ways that you care, and then trying to adapt
to how the athlete communicates, right? So I
think in terms of maybe they have... poor communication
skills. I think coaches need to look at it as
an opportunity to help build those communication
skills. Maybe they came from a background where
they didn't have parents around or they didn't
have a good home life. Okay, great. This is a
good opportunity to build up communication skills
and help them for life, right? So looking at
things similar to how athletes need to look at
things with a growth mindset and the odds and
opportunity, coaches should do the same. And
so I think, you know, the things I've helped
coaches implement is like weekly check -ins.
readiness scales right so things of that nature
where you're getting information and it's more
in a scheduled way so you're not i think the
more you can schedule it the more official it
becomes and more serious it becomes in their
mind so that they won't they'll know that hey
wednesdays we communicate right so if they're
not someone where you can have that fluid communication
and check in wherever start scheduling it and
make it a priority show them that they're a priority
to you as an athlete and that you're a priority
to them as a coach, right? And this is a real
business relationship and something that matters
to you. And you want to see them grow. So I think
scheduling it helps. Awesome. I like that. Very
practical. How to transition from being a young
lifter who just comes to learn weightlifting
and then has talent or doesn't, but works hard
and gets somewhere. How to get them from being
totally dependent on the coach to being in a
partnership with coach? Yeah, I think it requires
a few different facets, right? So it requires
the open communication of a coach and athlete.
and what they both need from each other, right?
So understanding that what the athlete needs
and what the coach needs is number one, right?
So they're going to be a lot more dependent on
a coach if their coach is providing them with
a lot more than they need, right? So you're almost
building patterns early on. So when you get an
athlete at a young age, like... Don't do everything
for them because then that's what's going to
be expected, right? So putting them in a safe
place of controlled adversity, right? Or of controlled
accountability, right? Builds those habits so
that they're not as dependent later on, right?
So when I worked at the college level for athletics,
I saw a lot of hand -holding and these were 20...
to 23 -year -old men, right? And, you know, my
thought was like, these coaches are holding their
hands and then they're going to graduate and
then they're going to have no life skills, right?
And so the more you can, you're actually doing
them a disservice by doing everything for them,
right? So I think having a checklist for athletes,
having that accountability, right, where there's
an expectation, the athlete has a focused accountability
of, I need to do, my requirement on my end is
to do this, this, and this, right? And then,
often like kind of readapting and re -evaluating
what those accountability checklist items are
right it could be anything from hydration to
you know i need to not look at my phone while
i'm training right so little things like that
but i think understanding that Both the coach
and athlete need to put in the same effort. And
once there's a lack of effort from one side,
that's when things get very difficult. Weightlifting
is about the numbers, but it also is a weight
class sport. So there's a nutrition and sports
performance goes hand in hand with nutrition.
There is the psychological, the mental part to
it. You have to learn skills to cope with stress.
There are only six lifts, three and three, and
you have to make them. And they are on the stage,
you are by yourself and the weight is heavy.
So what is your view on an athlete having a coach
versus athlete having a coach, but also a nutritionist,
psychologist, whatever network or a team they
may need or have around them? Yeah, definitely.
I think, so I'm huge on scope of practice, right?
And I think it's super important to have a support
team, right? So understand like, listen, I get
some people can't afford it. Right. I get, you
know, some people know that's not possible. But
if your goal is to compete at a national or international
level, you need a support team. Like you can't
just rely on your coach because your coach is
needs to be focused on weightlifting. Right.
And the coach can seek outside education. But
the coach doesn't have the qualifications and
the educational background to do nutrition, to
do the. sports psych to do you know the massage
therapy right like body work right yeah the the
physical therapy right these are things where
you need a support team and the best athletes
i've been around have a support team but not
only do they have a support team but though that
support team knows each other right and knows
what's going on with their nutrition knows what's
going on with their pt and it's all connected
right and so the best athletes i see take care
of their body at a high level take care of their
mind at a high level right it doesn't mean they
don't have setbacks so they don't face adversity
but they have a support team around them right
and those are the ones that last a long time
in the sport and in and see a lot of success
so i think it is really important Coach is super
important, no doubt about it, right? You need
a weightlifting coach if you're going to be an
elite level weightlifter. That being said, I
think you start seeing a lot of strain on the
relationship when the coach tries to do more
than just be their weightlifting coach, right?
And so I think if a coach could just be the weightlifting
coach and allow someone else to do nutrition
and allow someone else, if the coach, if weightlifting
coach is checking in about nutrition, there's
just going to be a blurred line of like how many
jobs they hold for the athlete. So I think getting
qualified professionals around you. is vital
to success. All right. How coaches could think
about teaching athletes the skills for transition?
So the weightlifting could be teaching life.
Now, how the coach could be thinking about implementing
more than just weightlifting skills in their
athletes. Yeah, totally. Like you said, the relationship
can be so beneficial. This is a really, really
unique sport where that relationship, the coach
-athlete relationship is like no other. It's
just you're placing a lot of trust in the coach
and the coach is placing a lot of trust in the
athlete. And you're with each other a lot, right?
And you're with each other during tough times,
during great, the best of times, the PRs, right?
You're with each other in really, really important
times in life. And so with that, I think comes
for the opportunity for both of you to look at
adversity from a different lens. Right. And so
I think when though I was looking at like a bomb
out as an opportunity for the athletes showing,
you know, what they need to do to to face that
adversity. Right. Like helping them understand
what what adversity looks like. Like I think
as a coach, they just need to understand that
like you're when you decide to be any sort of
coach, you're also taking up a human being. as
well. Right. And that human being is going to
have tough times. That human being needs to be
thought of as a human being first. Right. And
so the minute coach forgets that the athlete
is a human being is the minute you start. losing
the application of these skills that you're building
translating into real life, right? And so like
every opportunity, every setback, every adversity
instance is a chance for this coach to help them
build these skills. And so as a coach, you need
to remember that you're taking on the human being
because then you're going to keep those skills
at the forefront of your mind of trying to help
them for that transition to life too. I've rarely
seen in my time an athlete that works hard in
a way. weight room not being a great person and
very resilient human being on outside of the
weight room right these two are very correlated
it's very very rare to see someone give everything
they have in the weight room and not be that
type of person outside of it right so it translates
and so as a coach i think understanding your
why and in that aspect and like taking it that
seriously that you're in you're you're creating
a really great opportunity for to help develop
a human being You mentioned a few times our diversity
and dealing with our diversity and how that builds
a great weightlifter. So could we go there? Let's
imagine that the athlete had horrible competition
or they plateaued and they are not improving
anymore for various reasons. Maybe there's an
injury. Maybe there's no apparent reason. How
would you... I mean, the first thing is we reflect,
right? We do that. Even in the worst competitions
we ever had, what went well, three things that
went well that you controlled, right? So you're
immediately taking a competition and thinking
about the, you know, what possibly went well.
And then you're like, oh, well, I did maintain
composure between this rap, you know? So I think
like immediately trying to reflect, but not in
a way that's going to... cause you to have more
overthinking, more stress, right? So controlled
reflection and controlled and intentional reflection
post -meeting, right? And then the other aspect
is the cool thing about the brain is that neuroplasticity,
we can actually practice how to formulate a better
response to stress. And so if we take these instances
of adversity, and reflect thoughtfully, understand
reframing thoughts, start using mental imagery,
right? And start applying mental skills and then
get back on the platform. We're reinforcing the
habit of overcoming adversity and actually building
our mental resilience and like that neuroplasticity
and that stress response. It's super cool. So
if you fail at something, it's actually an opportunity
to... rebuild your stress response. And coaches
have a really, really big impact on that, right?
And how they go about looking at failure, right?
You know, it's corny, but, you know, I always
heard that. fail means first attempt in learning,
right? And it's the acronym. But it's true. If
you look at failure as just another attempt at
learning and being better for the next time,
then all of a sudden you're reframing the fault.
The problem people run into is they have a negative
thought or so, and they just try to think positively,
right? And if I told you to... This is a very
common problem with self -talk, right? If I told
someone to not think of a pink elephant, they're
going to immediately think of a pink elephant,
right? And so just telling someone to... think
positively isn't going to actually do anything
for them. So we want to take the self -defeating
thought and turn it into something self -enhancing.
So instead of, oh, gosh, I, you know, missed
all three snatches or I missed my first snatch.
I'm going to miss this next one. And if I miss
this next one, my coach is going to hate me.
OK, one, diffuse the thought. What evidence do
you have to support that thought? And what evidence
do you have against that thought? Right. If you
have any, you're not going to have any evidence
to really support that thought. Right. And so
diffusing the thought and then. actually reframing
it to be like an opportunity. OK, I missed my
first snatch. This is a really awesome opportunity
to show how resilient I am in the second attempt.
This is a really great opportunity to show all
the preparation, hard work I've been putting
in. Right. So not guaranteeing an outcome with
that self -enhancing thought, but almost looking
at things from a lens of, oh, I can't wait to
show people how I show myself and show other
people how much work and preparation I've put
in. Right. So relying on that preparation, because
that's where confidence. comes from aside from
achievement so what i'm hearing is that you advise
to going back to the process and making sure
that the process is as good as it could be then
you can always go back to that now the work actually
is done i may miss this lift but I've done, I've
put the work in and that's the opportunity to
show it. If it happens, it does. If it doesn't,
it doesn't cancel the work that has been done.
No. And people, especially in this sport, right,
come, like you said earlier, they come with a
lot of all or nothing thinking, right? Because
it is six lifts, right? And how many times do
people could pee a year, maybe four or five,
right? Like, yeah, maybe 18 attempts at something,
right? Where you're practicing hours and hours
and hours at something, right? So it is, it is.
People come with that all or nothing thinking,
oh, all this work that I put in is for nothing
if I don't make this lift and I don't medal.
Right. But if you think about it like and you
ask them, OK, so all that growth as a human being
and all that growth as an athlete wasn't worth
it. Right. And then they're like, then they'll
say, oh. Well, no, I'm glad I did all that, right?
So it's very easy to fall into that all or nothing
pattern of thinking, right? If I don't make this
lift, it was all for nothing. But the reality
is like you grew as a human being, you grew as
an athlete. Maybe you didn't reach your outcome
goal, but that doesn't mean it was for nothing.
And then I think. Like you said, the preparation
aspect, right? Like confidence, you know, there's
no denying, right? Confidence comes from achievement.
If you do something successfully over and over
again, you're going to have more self -efficacy.
You're going to have more confidence, right?
There's no denying that. But confidence also
comes from preparation, right? And if you put
in the work and prepare, you're going to feel
more confident. And that's part of that is having
that support team around you, right? Where you're
putting work in all the different buckets. And
if you prepare in all those different buckets,
you're going to... gonna feel pretty good on
competition day and then like you said right
like if it doesn't happen at least you don't
have that regret of i left something out there
right or i left you know i had more in the tank
right i had i could have done this right discipline
weighs ounces but regrets regret weighs tons
man regret weighs a lot more than the discipline
right so if you're disciplined and put in the
preparation and it just doesn't come together
on me day okay we're gonna reflect and we're
gonna build off that but you also you can no
doubt about but be disappointed, right? There's
no, every feeling is valid. You could feel disappointed.
You could feel bummed, but you'll feel still
like you gave everything you had. You know in
your gut, I gave everything I had. It just didn't,
it didn't come together and I didn't perform
the way I wanted to. But you'll also know in
your gut if you didn't do everything you could
have done. And I think that's really what it
comes down to. All right. So in the case where
the person has some regrets, I don't know, they
didn't go to bed on time. They didn't eat enough.
They did some crazy stuff. two days before because
they were in a new city excited blah blah blah
how to make a positive impact out of that a learning
experience right i think listen i think self
-compassion and giving yourself some grace for
your journey and your environment. And maybe
things weren't exactly how they needed to be
for yourself, but we also have a lot of control
over things. So I think also having honest conversations
too, right, are important for growth. And in
that case, you know, hey, these were our goals.
Your actions didn't align with them, right? So
we can't be upset if we didn't reach these goals
or if we weren't in position, in the best position.
possible to reach these goals, right? Because
we can't guarantee an outcome, even if we goal
plan. And even if we do everything, we can't
guarantee an outcome. But if we did something
too nice before, or we weren't taken care of
at XYZ, we can't really be mad about not hitting
our lifts and getting a gold medal, right? Because
that means our actions didn't align with our
goals. And that's a really, really tough pill
to swallow, right? Because it forces the athlete
to accept, like, I didn't do my job, right? And
that's when the coach needs to step in and say,
okay, you didn't do this. your job this time.
What can we do differently next time, right?
How can I best support you to do the things you
need to get done next time, right? So there's
accountability on both ends. Even if the coach
doesn't believe in that, they need to act like
they do because the athletes already self -defeated,
right? They're already down on themselves and
already bummed and disappointed themselves that
they didn't take care of what they needed to
take care of. They know what they did. So if
they already know what they did, then hey, compassion,
but also keep them accountable and say, hey,
let's look at the next opportunity. Here's what
X, Y, Z, what you didn't do last time. What can
we do to do things differently this time? But
there is an aspect of like, hey, you need to
be accountable too, right? Like that's, you know,
and listen, if you don't want to meddle or you
don't want to compete at this high level, that's
fine. But don't say you do and not have your
actions align with it. Right. So getting your
values and goals to align with your actions and
your actions to align with your values and goals
is super important. Negative talk. So some athletes
find it motivational to be speaking phrases in
their head about how useless they will be if
they don't hit that lift. And it works. Would
you try to change it? Would you leave it as it
is? Gosh, you know, I think, you know, I don't
like I think self -talk that is guaranteeing
an outcome is not is not great. So I think when
people are using self -talk, that's like, I'm
going to make this lift. I'm going to make this
lift. If there's no thought behind it or no feeling
emotional attachment behind it, that thought
is just words. Right. So if they don't actually
believe it, then it's not the affirmation is
not helping them. So in that sense, I don't love
that kind of positive self -talk. I like affirmations
that are like, I am capable. I am prepared. I
am ready. Right. Breathing. breathing confidence,
exhale doubt, right? So things of that nature,
things that we could control. In terms of someone
yelling at themselves or telling themselves,
you know, you're nothing, like you're, you know,
I've seen people do that, right? They psych themselves
up enough to almost like prove themselves wrong,
right? And for some people, right, it brings
enough physiological arousal and frustration
and anger that they're able to go out there and
make a lift. Now, I don't... In my professional
opinion, I don't think it's... intelligent to
rely on that right because what what happens
when you miss a lift after telling yourself you
just you're you're gonna be useless if you miss
this lift now your your whole demeanor has changed
because okay well now i'm useless right and now
your your psychological and physiological arousal
is depleted because you just proved yourself
right like you know so if you don't make the
lift after doing something like that then now
you're going down a really really tough path
so i really don't think that kind of self -talk
is helpful. But again, you know, I can't go into
somebody in a session with somebody and tell
them they're wrong. Right. I mean, I think long
term, how we talk to ourselves is going to be
largely dependent of how we see our self -worth.
And so I think building up an athlete's self
-worth is going to. slowly get them to not talk
to themselves like that naturally but it I it
is it is interesting though Alex because like
I have seen that right like and I I have people
that will will tell me like oh I just call myself
an idiot and like that I can't then I'm nothing
and and I get jacked up and I go make the lift
but like this is such a technical sport and such
it's not just a raw strength sport and at some
point you're gonna hit a weight and you're gonna
hit an adversity in competition where you can't
rely on anger just to lift something right so
So your approach is to broaden the toolkit of
an athlete. So this is not the only thing they
have. It worked in the past, but you think it
may be better to have other things to complement.
Yeah, I think relying on that consistently is
a dangerous game, right? It's the same thing
as people relying on being an adrenaline lifter,
right? Adrenaline is going to come and go and
it's going to be there for a lot of competition.
But if you're relying on that, who knows what
the environment is going to be like? Who knows
how long you're going to be sitting for your
attempts? It's just a dangerous game to rely
on adrenaline to stay focused or to stay intentional.
So that's when that self -talk comes in. Right,
and it's a whole thing with dealing with all
the adrenaline after the competition, the lump
and the downhill and recovery from that. Yeah,
absolutely. Okay, one more question is how, as
a coach... they can support in general mental
health of a lifter. Are there any things that
should be taken care of? What would be your advice?
Yeah, well, so I do want to emphasize one thing
is that language matters. And this is something
I didn't mention earlier. And it goes along with
the environment piece and language really matters.
So like not labeling athletes as weak or soft
or like not believing their injuries, like those
things really create an environment that is toxic
and then also cause. as the athlete to think
that they're it's almost like gaslighting them
and thinking they're they're the problem right
so language how what what language you use and
how you speak to somebody is going to really
either improve the relationship and improve the
environment or really be a detriment to the environment
so not using mental disorders as adjectives like
saying they're ocd they're so ocd or that they're
you're being bipolar like not saying phrases
like that right not using language like soft
or, or you're, you're, you're being too emotional,
right? Like things like that are just super invalidating
and, and only create toxicity in the culture
of environment. So similar to that, I think coaches
can one, watch the language they use, how you
speak to your athletes is going to every, every
sentence you'd say to an athlete is going to
have an impact regardless of you want it to or
not, right? Because these are a lot of times
younger minds and, and things that are minds
that are still developing. Right. So you're going
to have an impact regardless if you want to or
not. And so using specific language and the correct
language matters. And then also not going out
of scope of practice, like understanding, listen,
coaches get super, super close with their athletes.
I get it. But there's boundaries still. Right.
And so understand those boundaries and doing
training on looking for signs of mental health
concerns. Right. Having that open dialogue and
building enough trust for them to come to you
and then listening. more than you speak. I think
people fail to do that. And they also don't,
a lot of people are always listening, just waiting
to respond and aren't actually hearing what.
and ingesting what the athlete is saying or in
just just in general in society today we're always
waiting to respond what about just listening
and not going into problem solving immediately
just listening to to hear them and what they're
going through and validating what they're going
through so i think that is that's going to build
that trust for them to open up about mental health
stuff about life's challenges be honest with
you and be more communicative right like and
be more accountable with their communication.
On that note, this sport, any professional sport,
favors persistent and resilient and people who
push through adversity, but it can go too far.
How would you navigate that? Yeah, totally. I
mean, I wrote an article not too long ago about
the pursuit of excellence and the pursuit of
perfectionism, right? And so these are two different
things when you think about it. So perfectionism
is going to, one, definitely push more burnout.
Like that's a that's a given. It's going to push
more burnout. It's going to cause us to be trying
to always kind of being consumed by it. And so
when you pursue excellence, you look at mistakes
as learning opportunities. When you pursue excellence,
you're looking at progress, not perfection. Right.
And so. With athletes, I think it's important
to think about, one, what are good reps and what
are you just pushing yourself to absolute exhaustion
and not actually helping reps, right? Like if
you're, you know, if you're falling into that
perfectionism trap, a lot of times athletes,
people will deem it as like, oh, well, he or
she is just putting extra work in, right? And
in society today, wearing extra hours as a badge
of honor is like a real thing in the work world,
right? Like, oh, I work. So hard. I work so hard.
Right. But like, OK, that's great. You work so
hard. But like, why not just work smarter and
take better care of yourself and be ready better?
Right. And that's the pursuit of excellence.
Understanding that line between these are quality
reps and quality things I'm pursuing. And this
is or this is. just tired reps and me just, you
know, banging my head against the wall kind of
thing. The same thing as someone, you know, attempting
10 max attempts on a PR, right? Like one, you're
only getting three attempts for that lift. So
you might as well stop after three, right? And
like, yeah, you might get lucky one time out
of 10, but is that really reinforcing anything?
No. So I think understanding the difference between
the excellence and the pursuit of excellence
and the pursuit of perfection, right? You're
going to be pursuing more setbacks as learning
opportunities. You're going to pursue progress
and have these process oriented goals over time.
Right. So I think falling in love with the process
is going to push you more towards that pursuit
of mastery and pursuit of excellence, not perfectionism.
If you would have to give one to three pieces
of advice for coaches, Olympic weightlifting
coaches on psychological skills they could be
implementing. The first one I would say that's
most important to me is. Mindfulness is the ability
to accept your thoughts as thoughts and not and
allow them to be there. Give them space, but
not give them the energy, right? And so, like,
I always say, like, I give the example of, like,
tug -of -war. Like, the more you tug on a self
-defeating thought, the more it's going to tug
back and pull you away from your values. So,
as coaches, help your athletes identify their
values as an athlete, who they want to show up
as on competition day, in training. regardless
of the outcome. And those are their values. Those
are their athlete values, right? And the thoughts
that are self -enhancing, they'll pull them towards
their values. But if they're self -defeating
and an athlete is pulling on that rope, we need
to let go of that rope because that rope is pulling
us away from our values. So it's accepting the
thoughts as thoughts. Right. And understanding
that it's not reality, but being mindful of them,
because that's how we are able to redirect our
focus. When what's important now. Right. You'll
hear me say that's my habit all the time. Hey,
when what's important now. Right. What's important
in this moment. And that's when in competition,
that stuff starts to have an effect. Then the
second one would be self -talk. how we talk to
ourselves is so important. And I think, you know,
again, a lot has been said about self -talk to
just be negative to positive, but we want to
reframe thoughts to be self -defeating to self
-enhancing, right? So it's not this negative
to positive action because we want the self -
enhancing thought to be something that the athlete
actually believes in right and then the third
one is mental imagery so people get mental imagery
and visualization the difference very incorrect
so mental imagery is using all of your senses
and that's and that's one that i really think
coaches should reach out to somebody like me
and say like hey how do i start introducing mental
imagery right like you know How do I start implementing
this? Because that is a real skill. But visualization
is just looking at, you know, through your eyes,
doing a skill. But like really using all your
senses, that's mental imagery. We have to have
another lead for you. Yeah. So two short questions
to finish. The first one is what is your favorite
lift? My favorite lift is the jerk. I don't know
why, but it was the one that kind of came naturally
to me when I came into weightlifting. I know.
I know. I know. That's what I've been told. Yeah.
It just came very naturally to me. I think I
have a pretty good amount of overhead strains
in my legs. I think it was just the cues that
I was given early on. It was just like. you know,
short step back, reach with the front and and
drive under like it just you could come out of
a messy clean and everybody's like, oh, gosh.
And then you hit the jerk and it's just the most
euphoric feeling in the world. And so I think
there's there's something about that that just
is like, you know, you're almost you know, people
are almost counting you out like, oh, gosh, that
was a tough clean. And then you hit that jerk
and everybody's like, whoa, like and it's just,
you know, that recovery is really cool. Awesome.
And the last question is where people can find.
Find you if they want to work with you or do
what you opt to. The website is struggleandastrength
.com. And then my Instagram handle is S2SFOF.
And so you can find me on Instagram and my website.
And I'm also on LinkedIn as well. I know we connected
on there. So I try to post content in all different
areas and try to get more about weightlifting
specific stuff. You know, I'm thinking about.
doing some some ebook resources on mental imagery
for weightlifters and that type of thing. So
definitely going to be more resources coming
out. Awesome. Thank you, Dom. It was truly a
pleasure. Thank you.