WEBVTT 00:00:09.940 --> 00:00:12.679 Hey everyone, this is Josh from Encounter Church 00:00:12.679 --> 00:00:15.279 Henley and thanks so much for tuning into our 00:00:15.279 --> 00:00:19.000 podcast. Our prayer is that through this podcast, 00:00:19.019 --> 00:00:20.839 you can have an encounter with Jesus that will 00:00:20.839 --> 00:00:24.359 change your life. And now get ready for an inspiring 00:00:24.359 --> 00:00:28.539 message from our preaching team. Amen. Amen. 00:00:28.679 --> 00:00:31.859 Thank you very much, Geordie and team. We love 00:00:31.859 --> 00:00:35.909 you. Hey Dan, I just suppose you could grab me 00:00:35.909 --> 00:00:37.750 the lectern, could you man, and just slide it 00:00:37.750 --> 00:00:39.509 over because my hands were full and I'm a little 00:00:39.509 --> 00:00:43.329 underprepared. Hey everyone, welcome to Encounter 00:00:43.329 --> 00:00:45.609 Henley. Thank you so much for joining us. For 00:00:45.609 --> 00:00:49.789 those of you who do not know me, my name is Tex 00:00:49.789 --> 00:00:52.490 and I am one of the pastors here and it is an 00:00:52.490 --> 00:00:56.890 absolute, thank you Tommy, and I am really looking 00:00:56.890 --> 00:01:00.229 forward to bringing this word today because as 00:01:00.229 --> 00:01:02.770 per normal, it absolutely messed me up a little 00:01:02.770 --> 00:01:04.390 bit while I was writing it, so that's normally 00:01:04.390 --> 00:01:08.730 a good sign for you guys. So, okay, and normally 00:01:08.730 --> 00:01:10.370 we get a Bible reader up, right, so I've been 00:01:10.370 --> 00:01:13.450 telling off Tim, Pastor Tim, he quite often writes 00:01:13.450 --> 00:01:15.430 out all the Bible references for what we're going 00:01:15.430 --> 00:01:17.409 to preach from, and I kept on saying, like, can 00:01:17.409 --> 00:01:19.670 you just stop being like, I don't know, John, 00:01:19.989 --> 00:01:21.930 and then walking away while I had to work out 00:01:21.930 --> 00:01:23.349 what you wanted me to preach for from that, so 00:01:23.349 --> 00:01:26.439 he's given me 14 words today. and said, go write 00:01:26.439 --> 00:01:28.879 a sermon. So today's Bible reading is Proverbs 00:01:28.879 --> 00:01:32.659 15 .1. Today's Bible reading is, a gentle answer 00:01:32.659 --> 00:01:37.260 turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. 00:01:38.000 --> 00:01:40.620 So we're going to start today with something, 00:01:41.060 --> 00:01:43.040 why not? We'll get a little bit of audience participation 00:01:43.040 --> 00:01:44.859 going. Don't worry, we do not have to come up 00:01:44.859 --> 00:01:48.239 and role play. Quick show of hands, who just 00:01:48.239 --> 00:01:52.260 cannot get enough of receiving feedback? Hey, 00:01:52.280 --> 00:01:54.500 I know that's genuine and I know that's genuine 00:01:54.500 --> 00:01:56.500 from ash, but from the rest of you I appreciate 00:01:56.500 --> 00:02:00.040 your honesty somehow even worse than receiving 00:02:00.040 --> 00:02:04.299 feedback is the idea or the threat of Receiving 00:02:04.299 --> 00:02:06.700 feedback that can come in a few different ways 00:02:06.700 --> 00:02:09.280 Sometimes you go out with cough for coffee with 00:02:09.280 --> 00:02:11.699 a mate and then the cafe kind of screws up your 00:02:11.699 --> 00:02:13.539 order and you kind of don't Reorder it quite 00:02:13.539 --> 00:02:15.099 as nicely as you could have done your mate goes 00:02:15.099 --> 00:02:17.520 a bit of a jerk to the barista then man And that 00:02:17.520 --> 00:02:19.800 kind of hurts a little bit and then there's the 00:02:19.800 --> 00:02:22.550 middle level threat of feedback, which is you 00:02:22.550 --> 00:02:24.490 are sitting at your work desk innocently working 00:02:24.490 --> 00:02:28.189 away and the outlook email invite goes off of 00:02:28.189 --> 00:02:30.289 one -on -one and it's from your boss and that's 00:02:30.289 --> 00:02:33.449 all the information that you have received. Yeah, 00:02:33.509 --> 00:02:35.150 we love that. That's somebody who's received 00:02:35.150 --> 00:02:38.069 that one. Love those. There is the high level 00:02:38.069 --> 00:02:40.729 threat of feedback incoming, which is the ominous 00:02:40.729 --> 00:02:42.930 text from your significant other that just says, 00:02:43.270 --> 00:02:45.370 we need to sit down and have a little chat tonight. 00:02:47.009 --> 00:02:50.310 Whoa! Groans from the back of the room! Unbelievable! 00:02:50.689 --> 00:02:52.370 Could be that they want to go away on a lovely 00:02:52.370 --> 00:02:58.360 holiday! I don't even have to write my punchlines 00:02:58.360 --> 00:03:01.199 today. Hard to know. Odds are that you've probably 00:03:01.199 --> 00:03:03.080 been acting like a bit of a jerk recently and 00:03:03.080 --> 00:03:05.340 they want to talk to you about it. So those things, 00:03:05.360 --> 00:03:06.780 they make us feel a little bit nervous, they 00:03:06.780 --> 00:03:09.560 make us feel anxious, they certainly do me. And 00:03:09.560 --> 00:03:13.159 why is that? Why does the idea, even the concept 00:03:13.159 --> 00:03:15.620 of feedback, give us this fight or flight response? 00:03:16.139 --> 00:03:19.259 Well, I'm not going to go out on a limb. I can 00:03:19.259 --> 00:03:21.599 check the stats. A majority of this room, Ash 00:03:21.599 --> 00:03:24.300 loves stats, a majority of this room are Gen 00:03:24.300 --> 00:03:27.159 Z or millennials. And you guys, me included, 00:03:27.219 --> 00:03:29.000 I really sneak in on Millennials, by the way, 00:03:29.000 --> 00:03:31.240 like, depending on what you look at. Boo! Geordie's 00:03:31.240 --> 00:03:34.319 like, we don't want your time. Right? Gen X! 00:03:34.379 --> 00:03:37.340 Anyway, we're not doing this. That was more me 00:03:37.340 --> 00:03:39.039 trying to be like, I'm in it with you guys, and 00:03:39.039 --> 00:03:40.879 Geordie's tried to make it a line of division. 00:03:40.960 --> 00:03:43.879 So let's just ignore that. Right? So a recent 00:03:43.879 --> 00:03:47.139 study will show that a majority of Gen Zs and 00:03:47.139 --> 00:03:50.360 Millennials actually walk around with the feeling 00:03:50.360 --> 00:03:54.280 of negative emotions, either most or all of the 00:03:54.280 --> 00:03:59.650 time. I really need you to listen to this one 00:03:59.650 --> 00:04:04.659 today, my guy. So if that is our starting point, 00:04:04.819 --> 00:04:07.740 right, if our start point is a sense of impending 00:04:07.740 --> 00:04:10.719 negativity at all time, it's kind of no idea 00:04:10.719 --> 00:04:13.280 that the idea of the unknown is not going to 00:04:13.280 --> 00:04:15.280 be received as like, well, this is probably going 00:04:15.280 --> 00:04:17.579 to be good. This is probably going to be really 00:04:17.579 --> 00:04:20.139 exciting because the way we are actually wired, 00:04:20.220 --> 00:04:21.660 the way we're actually walking around the world 00:04:21.660 --> 00:04:24.079 is telling us that's probably not the case. The 00:04:24.079 --> 00:04:26.259 good news is, ironically, there's a separate 00:04:26.259 --> 00:04:30.110 study that shows that 63 % of Gen Z's and Millennials 00:04:30.110 --> 00:04:32.689 are actually really good at receiving feedback. 00:04:33.069 --> 00:04:37.189 So go team, right? And with a preference to receive 00:04:37.189 --> 00:04:41.129 feedback that is direct and efficient. So they 00:04:41.129 --> 00:04:43.389 would like our feedback to not be, you know, 00:04:43.490 --> 00:04:46.649 to be kind of to the point and not too slow and 00:04:46.649 --> 00:04:49.319 certainly not too harsh. and you hear that, you're 00:04:49.319 --> 00:04:51.240 like, yeah, that's Gen Z's Millennials, go team. 00:04:51.540 --> 00:04:53.100 And then you think about it and you go, actually, 00:04:53.139 --> 00:04:55.420 that sounds like a pretty good model for how 00:04:55.420 --> 00:04:57.959 most of us would probably like to receive feedback, 00:04:58.019 --> 00:05:01.620 I would imagine. Give it to me straight, but 00:05:01.620 --> 00:05:04.060 do it maybe with a little dash of kindness sprinkled 00:05:04.060 --> 00:05:05.759 in. And maybe if we could do it in an appropriate 00:05:05.759 --> 00:05:08.000 time as well, that sounds pretty reasonable. 00:05:08.639 --> 00:05:10.220 And I love it because you're doing this and I'm 00:05:10.220 --> 00:05:11.540 thinking about it and trust me I was reading 00:05:11.540 --> 00:05:13.519 so many different studies and you go years and 00:05:13.519 --> 00:05:16.800 years of study and millions of dollars and it's 00:05:16.800 --> 00:05:21.680 almost like if only, if only there was like some 00:05:21.680 --> 00:05:25.459 model somewhere, anywhere that was available 00:05:25.459 --> 00:05:27.779 for thousands of years. Anyway, that would be 00:05:27.779 --> 00:05:29.819 impossible. So instead what we're going to do 00:05:29.819 --> 00:05:31.740 is we're going to pack some text together. We're 00:05:31.740 --> 00:05:33.920 going to keep on doing studies ironically. Today's 00:05:33.920 --> 00:05:37.000 teaching text does find us in the Bible, in the 00:05:37.000 --> 00:05:39.860 book of Proverbs. Now just a little bit of establishment 00:05:39.860 --> 00:05:42.279 here. The book of Proverbs' purpose is really 00:05:42.279 --> 00:05:49.240 to bring divine truth into proper focus. It enables 00:05:49.240 --> 00:05:53.980 us to look at life through God's eyes from His 00:05:53.980 --> 00:05:56.939 eternal all -knowing point of view and then gives 00:05:56.939 --> 00:05:58.459 us the opportunity to kind of live accordingly. 00:05:58.660 --> 00:06:00.660 In essence, it's an acknowledgement of God's 00:06:00.660 --> 00:06:04.379 authority and wisdom. And that's a pretty important 00:06:04.379 --> 00:06:06.439 acknowledgement that we need to make as a follower 00:06:06.439 --> 00:06:08.639 of Jesus. It's kind of like right at the top 00:06:08.639 --> 00:06:10.160 there, right? It kind of creates a really healthy 00:06:10.160 --> 00:06:15.000 baseline. So again, Proverbs 15, one tells us, 00:06:15.060 --> 00:06:18.480 a gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words 00:06:18.480 --> 00:06:21.870 stir up. Anger. Now, Reverend Barry, for those 00:06:21.870 --> 00:06:23.329 that were in the room last week or caught on 00:06:23.329 --> 00:06:25.829 the podcast, he brought us a pretty epic sermon 00:06:25.829 --> 00:06:28.990 last week. And his sermon spoke about the need 00:06:28.990 --> 00:06:31.449 to have what he called critical conversations. 00:06:31.850 --> 00:06:33.350 Critical doesn't just mean one that in which 00:06:33.350 --> 00:06:35.569 you are criticizing someone. So we can ease up 00:06:35.569 --> 00:06:38.009 on those woos. Critical means that they are important 00:06:38.009 --> 00:06:41.129 conversations that we need to have. The week 00:06:41.129 --> 00:06:44.370 before Angus talked about the need to bring a 00:06:44.370 --> 00:06:46.930 sense of humility towards those conversations, 00:06:47.129 --> 00:06:49.259 towards our interactions with others. And the 00:06:49.259 --> 00:06:52.759 combo of those things actually led me to have 00:06:52.759 --> 00:06:54.759 to have one of those kind of hard conversations 00:06:54.759 --> 00:06:57.540 of my own during the week. And I really pray 00:06:57.540 --> 00:07:00.480 that it did for you as well. And if it didn't, 00:07:00.480 --> 00:07:02.779 maybe after today we feel a little bit more equipped 00:07:02.779 --> 00:07:04.480 and a little bit more prepared and maybe that's 00:07:04.480 --> 00:07:06.759 something we want to do. I'll be honest, that 00:07:06.759 --> 00:07:10.079 conversation I had was incredibly difficult to 00:07:10.079 --> 00:07:13.680 have, but I can tell you that it was entirely 00:07:13.680 --> 00:07:16.180 worth it. I can't go into the details of it because 00:07:16.180 --> 00:07:18.540 that wouldn't be appropriate. But I can honestly 00:07:18.540 --> 00:07:21.100 say that both parties walked away much happier 00:07:21.100 --> 00:07:24.879 and in a much, much better place. So this week, 00:07:25.000 --> 00:07:28.899 we're going to talk about how we have those conversations. 00:07:29.500 --> 00:07:32.560 because having those kinds of conversations well 00:07:32.560 --> 00:07:36.160 is really, really hard to do. We're all good 00:07:36.160 --> 00:07:38.000 at having the bad version of that conversation. 00:07:38.079 --> 00:07:41.220 Well, my history would tell me that I'm really 00:07:41.220 --> 00:07:43.920 good at having the bad version of those conversations, 00:07:44.420 --> 00:07:47.199 and having good versions is a little more important. 00:07:47.540 --> 00:07:49.420 And it's important to remember as we think about 00:07:49.420 --> 00:07:54.240 today's passage that the passage isn't a denial 00:07:54.240 --> 00:07:58.529 of that truth. It's action actually an acceptance 00:07:58.529 --> 00:08:01.329 of the inevitability of that truth that these 00:08:01.329 --> 00:08:03.589 hard conversations these critical conversations 00:08:03.589 --> 00:08:06.529 are going to need to be had and that the odds 00:08:06.529 --> 00:08:09.889 are I'm gonna trip over a rug as Per normal and 00:08:09.889 --> 00:08:12.069 on top of that the odds are that they're not 00:08:12.069 --> 00:08:15.430 always going to be received super well It's also 00:08:15.430 --> 00:08:17.889 there to provide a helpful outlook for not only 00:08:17.889 --> 00:08:20.870 those receiving feedback, it's actually a really 00:08:20.870 --> 00:08:23.250 good lesson for those who are needing to approach 00:08:23.250 --> 00:08:27.709 giving that feedback as well. So I'm really sorry 00:08:27.709 --> 00:08:29.509 for some of you, you needed to have that critical 00:08:29.509 --> 00:08:31.389 conversation like last week and felt like I've 00:08:31.389 --> 00:08:33.389 only had a bit more info. Here we are, you're 00:08:33.389 --> 00:08:35.289 ready to go now, right? So you'll be ready all 00:08:35.289 --> 00:08:37.169 well as we go to the next line. So there's two 00:08:37.169 --> 00:08:39.529 lines, two lines in that thing, that's it. Like 00:08:39.529 --> 00:08:41.370 I said, 14 words, somebody's gonna go, it's 15. 00:08:41.559 --> 00:08:45.899 14 or 15 words. But the power within those few 00:08:45.899 --> 00:08:49.159 words you could write a book about. We're gonna 00:08:49.159 --> 00:08:50.399 start at the beginning. We're gonna break it 00:08:50.399 --> 00:08:53.419 into two chunks. A gentle answer turns away wrath. 00:08:53.799 --> 00:08:55.899 Now the two words that are really clearly to 00:08:55.899 --> 00:08:58.539 focus on here are the words gentle and the word 00:08:58.539 --> 00:09:01.379 wrath. Now if you were to mark those on some 00:09:01.379 --> 00:09:03.639 kind of lineal graph, you would probably find 00:09:03.639 --> 00:09:06.460 yourself at, I don't know, the opposite ends, 00:09:06.720 --> 00:09:10.080 right? So you just, you find yourself, beginning 00:09:10.080 --> 00:09:12.750 at the end of that scale, Because the next words 00:09:12.750 --> 00:09:14.250 you've got gentleness all the way, let's go the 00:09:14.250 --> 00:09:17.529 way over here. Jordy nervously looks at his guitar. 00:09:17.830 --> 00:09:19.789 Gentleness, let's say, is all the way over here. 00:09:20.210 --> 00:09:22.250 And wrath is all the way over here. And the next 00:09:22.250 --> 00:09:24.970 closest word we really have for wrath, give or 00:09:24.970 --> 00:09:26.769 take, a little bit of approximation, is rage. 00:09:28.009 --> 00:09:31.710 Now rage does not kind of denote or give us this 00:09:31.710 --> 00:09:33.470 idea of like, oh, they cut me off in traffic, 00:09:33.529 --> 00:09:36.049 that's annoying. That's not rage, right? That's 00:09:36.049 --> 00:09:39.389 annoyance. It gives you a vision of like just 00:09:39.389 --> 00:09:43.049 violent anger. Like, have you ever been so mad, 00:09:43.149 --> 00:09:44.570 this is obviously not from personal experience, 00:09:44.750 --> 00:09:46.870 have you ever been so mad that you almost like, 00:09:47.230 --> 00:09:49.590 you just kind of snap, you almost like black 00:09:49.590 --> 00:09:52.970 out for a second, you kind of, your mouth definitely 00:09:52.970 --> 00:09:55.610 engages before your brain does, maybe your actions 00:09:55.610 --> 00:09:58.409 engage before your brain does, and all of a sudden 00:09:58.409 --> 00:10:01.889 you kind of go, wow, that was not like me at 00:10:01.889 --> 00:10:03.889 all, that was kind of not what I'd normally expect 00:10:03.889 --> 00:10:11.320 of myself. Let me introduce you to Rage. And 00:10:11.320 --> 00:10:14.620 what are we as Christians to meet that real end 00:10:14.620 --> 00:10:18.039 of yourself rage with, that real inexplicable 00:10:18.039 --> 00:10:22.679 burst of anger and aggression and gentleness? 00:10:24.620 --> 00:10:26.899 Being a Christian is amazing sometimes, isn't 00:10:26.899 --> 00:10:29.639 it? We've got something so big on one side over 00:10:29.639 --> 00:10:31.559 here and then we've got Jesus over here going, 00:10:31.700 --> 00:10:34.440 yeah but maybe try it from this perspective instead. 00:10:34.580 --> 00:10:37.299 It's not easy to do but it's important that we 00:10:37.299 --> 00:10:40.919 do it. Right and it's really definitely more 00:10:40.919 --> 00:10:43.539 difficult When we think potentially that that 00:10:43.539 --> 00:10:45.720 rage or that anger or that ire that this person 00:10:45.720 --> 00:10:48.480 is feeling all the way over here Also is potentially 00:10:48.480 --> 00:10:52.100 going to be directed at us That's pretty scary. 00:10:52.159 --> 00:10:54.580 Sometimes it can be really upsetting can cause 00:10:54.580 --> 00:10:57.120 a level of anxiousness. It can be absolutely 00:10:57.120 --> 00:11:04.059 terrifying Well So why, despite all of our natural 00:11:04.059 --> 00:11:06.440 instincts saying the opposite, our natural instincts 00:11:06.440 --> 00:11:08.840 would not say rage, sick, here comes the kindness 00:11:08.840 --> 00:11:10.759 train, right? That's not where we would normally 00:11:10.759 --> 00:11:12.559 think we have to start. It's really important 00:11:12.559 --> 00:11:14.980 that we do, and we start with gentleness, and 00:11:14.980 --> 00:11:17.159 why? I'll be honest, as you start to think about 00:11:17.159 --> 00:11:19.299 it, you go, well, the best starting point is 00:11:19.299 --> 00:11:21.159 that gentleness is also one of the fruits of 00:11:21.159 --> 00:11:25.860 the Spirit. Galatians 5, 22 to 23 tells us, but 00:11:25.860 --> 00:11:29.120 the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, 00:11:29.539 --> 00:11:32.519 long -suffering gentleness. goodness, faith, 00:11:32.820 --> 00:11:35.860 meekness, temperance. Against such there is no 00:11:35.860 --> 00:11:39.019 law. These fruits of the Spirit are reflections 00:11:39.019 --> 00:11:42.159 of God's character, unless they are foundational 00:11:42.159 --> 00:11:45.340 in our own spiritual growth. And they're also 00:11:45.340 --> 00:11:47.799 foundational in what is the desired mindset that 00:11:47.799 --> 00:11:51.259 we want to be pushing into. Each of them valuable 00:11:51.259 --> 00:11:56.159 character traits for kind of every human interaction. 00:11:57.320 --> 00:11:59.539 I mean, none more apparent than when you are 00:11:59.539 --> 00:12:01.620 putting yourself in a situation where you're 00:12:01.620 --> 00:12:04.440 looking to give or receive kind of some hard 00:12:04.440 --> 00:12:08.320 words. Because if you read that list again, it's 00:12:08.320 --> 00:12:12.000 basically the model for a hard conversation. 00:12:14.620 --> 00:12:16.840 Which brings us back to the second half of today's 00:12:16.840 --> 00:12:21.139 teaching text, but a harsh word stirs up anger. 00:12:21.440 --> 00:12:26.110 It does not say not. to have hard words with 00:12:26.110 --> 00:12:28.389 people it does not say this is going to kill 00:12:28.389 --> 00:12:30.850 me it does not say maybe i should stand still 00:12:30.850 --> 00:12:33.110 not going to happen it does not say do not have 00:12:33.110 --> 00:12:35.009 hard conversations with people it does not say 00:12:35.009 --> 00:12:37.629 avoid hard conversations with people it says 00:12:37.629 --> 00:12:40.250 to avoid harshness in these conversations that 00:12:40.250 --> 00:12:42.610 we have with people now if we take this in conjunction 00:12:42.610 --> 00:12:45.269 with the first line we can see that we've started 00:12:45.269 --> 00:12:47.909 with gentleness because if we start with harsh 00:12:47.909 --> 00:12:50.669 words or we start with biting critique we're 00:12:50.669 --> 00:12:53.090 attempting to put out fire with gasoline at this 00:12:53.090 --> 00:13:01.350 point I'm just gonna have a sip of water. Now, 00:13:02.129 --> 00:13:05.610 if you don't believe me, I'd like you to think 00:13:05.610 --> 00:13:07.549 of this scenario with me for a second. Have you, 00:13:07.549 --> 00:13:09.149 again, we're gonna keep on bringing significant 00:13:09.149 --> 00:13:11.250 others into this. For those without parents, 00:13:11.730 --> 00:13:14.669 kids, coworker, nah, probably works better with 00:13:14.669 --> 00:13:16.230 parents or your partner, I'll be honest. You 00:13:16.230 --> 00:13:18.389 ever been in an argument with someone, and it's 00:13:18.389 --> 00:13:20.590 getting a little bit heated, and people are getting 00:13:20.590 --> 00:13:23.269 a bit fiery, and you think, you know what, man? 00:13:23.450 --> 00:13:27.110 I have got just the solution for this scenario. 00:13:27.669 --> 00:13:29.370 And you look at the other person and you go, 00:13:29.730 --> 00:13:35.409 calm down, would you? That is a man who has definitely 00:13:35.409 --> 00:13:41.210 said that. That laugh tells me. Success. Crisis 00:13:41.210 --> 00:13:46.730 averted. No. Oh, wait, your sarcasm and your 00:13:46.730 --> 00:13:49.509 disregard for the other person's emotional state. 00:13:50.009 --> 00:13:52.889 just didn't ease the situation entirely straight 00:13:52.889 --> 00:13:57.789 away. I'm shocked. They got angrier. Shocking 00:13:57.789 --> 00:14:02.750 again. As Reverend Barry told us last week, these 00:14:02.750 --> 00:14:04.769 critical conversations, these hard conversations 00:14:04.769 --> 00:14:08.570 we have, they are not a matter of if, they are 00:14:08.570 --> 00:14:13.139 an acceptance of when. And often they're likely 00:14:13.139 --> 00:14:15.100 to be met with anger not excitement remember 00:14:15.100 --> 00:14:18.879 75 % of us are walking around just carrying negative 00:14:18.879 --> 00:14:23.720 emotions as our starting state We're in that 00:14:23.720 --> 00:14:27.100 fog of negativity almost all of the time Objectivity 00:14:27.100 --> 00:14:29.879 becomes pretty tough to use as a starting point 00:14:29.879 --> 00:14:34.960 So often because we start with the feeling not 00:14:34.960 --> 00:14:41.450 with the intent Now I don't often do this, but 00:14:41.450 --> 00:14:44.350 like Reverend Barry last week talked, we spent 00:14:44.350 --> 00:14:47.409 a little bit of time in John 21 when we hear 00:14:47.409 --> 00:14:49.549 the story of Jesus sitting on the beach eating 00:14:49.549 --> 00:14:52.529 breakfast with Peter after the miraculous catch 00:14:52.529 --> 00:14:57.549 just for a bit of context. Peter also named Simon 00:14:57.549 --> 00:14:59.370 as well for context. We'll come back to that 00:14:59.370 --> 00:15:03.950 another time, I'm sure. A third time he asked 00:15:03.950 --> 00:15:09.750 him, Simon, son of John, do you love me? So we're 00:15:09.750 --> 00:15:11.190 now sitting on the beach, we're having a conversation 00:15:11.190 --> 00:15:14.750 and Jesus has stopped to ask Simon three times, 00:15:14.889 --> 00:15:18.230 three separate times, Simon son of John, do you 00:15:18.230 --> 00:15:22.470 love me? And John 21, 18 tells us Peter was hurt 00:15:22.470 --> 00:15:25.669 because Jesus asked him the third time, do you 00:15:25.669 --> 00:15:28.929 love me? He said, Lord, you know all things, 00:15:29.110 --> 00:15:33.509 you know that I love you. Peter was hurt. This 00:15:33.509 --> 00:15:36.990 is his teacher. He loves him. This is the Messiah. 00:15:37.370 --> 00:15:39.590 And he's probably thinking, why is he making 00:15:39.590 --> 00:15:44.210 me feel so bad by asking me three separate times 00:15:44.210 --> 00:15:47.309 the same question? And I'll be honest, I was 00:15:47.309 --> 00:15:48.730 talking with Kara during the week and we were 00:15:48.730 --> 00:15:53.610 like, it does feel a little bit cruel. But Jesus 00:15:53.610 --> 00:15:55.909 isn't being cruel. He's actually being gentle 00:15:55.909 --> 00:16:00.610 in this moment. Again, a little bit more context. 00:16:00.789 --> 00:16:03.350 This conversation is happening after Jesus' resurrection. 00:16:04.470 --> 00:16:07.909 He knows that Peter has already denied him three 00:16:07.909 --> 00:16:11.330 times after his arrest. This mirroring of that 00:16:11.330 --> 00:16:14.909 is giving Peter three separate opportunities 00:16:14.909 --> 00:16:17.970 to not only affirm his love for Jesus, but also 00:16:17.970 --> 00:16:22.350 to redeem himself. Peter responds to all three, 00:16:22.730 --> 00:16:26.570 yes Lord, you know that I love you. Now objectively, 00:16:26.950 --> 00:16:29.909 Peter can acknowledge that Jesus knows all things 00:16:29.909 --> 00:16:33.149 and must have him asking in this way for a reason. 00:16:34.049 --> 00:16:37.029 Subjectively, in the immediacy, Peter's feelings 00:16:37.029 --> 00:16:41.389 are hurt. Jesus wasn't being cruel, he's being 00:16:41.389 --> 00:16:44.190 gentle and loving. Peter can't see it at the 00:16:44.190 --> 00:16:49.620 time. But Jesus had to acknowledge For want of 00:16:49.620 --> 00:16:52.299 a better word, this betrayal, this weakness of 00:16:52.299 --> 00:16:55.580 Peter's, because it was only through this conversation 00:16:55.580 --> 00:16:59.139 that Peter's acknowledgement and redemption and 00:16:59.139 --> 00:17:01.820 reconciliation and a new path could be offered. 00:17:03.460 --> 00:17:05.900 If Peter couldn't handle truthful, gentle, loving 00:17:05.900 --> 00:17:08.140 correction and direction from Jesus, how could 00:17:08.140 --> 00:17:12.140 he in turn ever offer gentle and loving correction 00:17:12.140 --> 00:17:14.440 and direction to others with the same sense of 00:17:14.440 --> 00:17:17.660 truth and love and gentleness? If we don't see 00:17:17.660 --> 00:17:21.640 it modeled, we can't in turn do it. Peter responds 00:17:21.640 --> 00:17:23.980 to this conversation. He recommits to that love 00:17:23.980 --> 00:17:26.700 of Jesus he assures him of and he becomes a pivotal 00:17:26.700 --> 00:17:30.960 leader in Christ's church and the message of 00:17:30.960 --> 00:17:34.900 redemptive love that that brings with it. Despite 00:17:34.900 --> 00:17:36.900 all of our best efforts, despite all the gentleness 00:17:36.900 --> 00:17:39.819 in the world, there is still a chance, almost 00:17:39.819 --> 00:17:43.430 an inevitability, that we will cause hurt and 00:17:43.430 --> 00:17:45.589 offense when we have conversations like this. 00:17:45.910 --> 00:17:48.549 That our gentleness will be met with anger or 00:17:48.549 --> 00:17:51.509 hurt or frustration and that does not mean that 00:17:51.509 --> 00:17:54.309 we shy away from these conversations, but it 00:17:54.309 --> 00:17:57.150 does make it vitally important that we have these 00:17:57.150 --> 00:18:03.970 conversations well. And that starts on the opposite 00:18:03.970 --> 00:18:06.559 side of what I'm... I promise you I'm going to 00:18:06.559 --> 00:18:08.599 be getting to, which is that if we want to learn 00:18:08.599 --> 00:18:10.579 to be people who know how to receive feedback 00:18:10.579 --> 00:18:12.660 well, we actually need to start by being people 00:18:12.660 --> 00:18:16.519 that know how to give feedback well. So we're 00:18:16.519 --> 00:18:22.400 going to start there. What comes to follow is 00:18:22.400 --> 00:18:24.680 based on models that the brilliant and incredibly 00:18:24.680 --> 00:18:28.759 yoked Craig Rochelle has given us. So if you've 00:18:28.759 --> 00:18:30.579 never seen Craig Rochelle, give him a Google. 00:18:30.640 --> 00:18:34.650 My goodness. It's disgusting. The guy's like 00:18:34.650 --> 00:18:38.390 10, 15 years older than me. Anyway. So I just 00:18:38.390 --> 00:18:39.930 didn't want to hide that fact. If you go Googling 00:18:39.930 --> 00:18:42.730 any of this stuff, the guy's a master of kind 00:18:42.730 --> 00:18:45.289 of leadership and discipleship and stuff like 00:18:45.289 --> 00:18:48.450 that. So I've started with something he has put 00:18:48.450 --> 00:18:50.329 together, if I'm being honest. And the first 00:18:50.329 --> 00:18:53.970 step of giving good feedback is choosing when 00:18:53.970 --> 00:18:57.170 you give good feedback. Because if you get this 00:18:57.170 --> 00:18:59.490 step wrong, you are likely to be sunk before 00:18:59.490 --> 00:19:02.970 you even start. Matthew 18 15 tells us, if your 00:19:02.970 --> 00:19:05.170 brother has sinned against you, go and confront 00:19:05.170 --> 00:19:09.670 him privately. If someone's hurt or offended 00:19:09.670 --> 00:19:13.410 you, and I think this is really important clarification 00:19:13.410 --> 00:19:16.529 by the way, and there's no immediate damage or 00:19:16.529 --> 00:19:19.390 danger or risk to others or anything like that, 00:19:19.769 --> 00:19:21.970 then that needs to be a one -to -one conversation 00:19:21.970 --> 00:19:28.289 in private. Here's a bit of a kicker, it may 00:19:28.289 --> 00:19:32.640 not need to happen immediately. Taking a night 00:19:32.640 --> 00:19:34.339 to sleep on you've heard that expression. We've 00:19:34.339 --> 00:19:36.200 all said it to people take a night sleep on it 00:19:36.200 --> 00:19:39.019 That's not always the worst advice if you're 00:19:39.019 --> 00:19:40.900 kind of a little annoyed little frustrated. See 00:19:40.900 --> 00:19:43.980 how you feel in the morning Still bothered still 00:19:43.980 --> 00:19:46.559 fuzzle the conversation is important good, then 00:19:46.559 --> 00:19:50.140 we move to step two how you give the feedback 00:19:50.140 --> 00:19:52.640 How do we give the feedback? What do we start 00:19:52.640 --> 00:20:00.339 with? gentleness always Now it's kind of important 00:20:00.339 --> 00:20:02.000 despite the fact we're talking about receiving 00:20:02.000 --> 00:20:04.319 feedback I'm gonna assume that most of us went 00:20:04.319 --> 00:20:06.539 straight away to receiving kind of negative feedback 00:20:06.539 --> 00:20:09.079 or critical feedback when we discuss that Feedback 00:20:09.079 --> 00:20:11.960 comes in two kinds. There's the kind we all really 00:20:11.960 --> 00:20:15.940 like which is encouragement Amen, there is the 00:20:15.940 --> 00:20:18.259 kind I've worded a little bit more gently that 00:20:18.259 --> 00:20:20.940 we don't love as much which is coaching or correction 00:20:20.940 --> 00:20:23.940 We would get Peter loves both kinds of feedback. 00:20:23.940 --> 00:20:25.480 Have a check with P. If you haven't met pastor 00:20:25.480 --> 00:20:28.339 peace is the best Now, if you're only ever willing 00:20:28.339 --> 00:20:30.960 to have the correctional coaching type of conversation 00:20:30.960 --> 00:20:33.220 with someone and are never offering encouragement 00:20:33.220 --> 00:20:36.740 or praise, how do you think your inevitable conversation 00:20:36.740 --> 00:20:39.619 or feedback is going to be received? If every 00:20:39.619 --> 00:20:42.259 time I call my dog to me, I whack him on the 00:20:42.259 --> 00:20:44.220 nose with a rolled up newspaper, how long do 00:20:44.220 --> 00:20:45.440 you think it's going to take before he stops 00:20:45.440 --> 00:20:50.559 coming? So create a foundation of encouragement, 00:20:51.099 --> 00:20:55.700 of gentleness, of love. Gangro Shell has this 00:20:55.700 --> 00:20:57.660 one liner that he uses all the time and I can 00:20:57.660 --> 00:21:00.119 never shake it which is that people don't care 00:21:00.119 --> 00:21:02.779 what you know until they know that you care. 00:21:05.240 --> 00:21:08.119 Now maybe that inverse dynamic is already actually 00:21:08.119 --> 00:21:10.920 in effect that you have offered a lot more coaching 00:21:10.920 --> 00:21:14.160 than you have encouragement in the past and you've 00:21:14.160 --> 00:21:16.380 waved that rolled up newspaper one too many times 00:21:16.380 --> 00:21:18.420 then I'd suggest thinking about number three 00:21:18.420 --> 00:21:23.210 which is actually who gives the feedback. Because 00:21:23.210 --> 00:21:24.990 if you're only ever interested in providing the 00:21:24.990 --> 00:21:27.970 correction style of feedback, not the encouragement 00:21:27.970 --> 00:21:29.750 type of feedback, you may not actually be the 00:21:29.750 --> 00:21:31.750 right person to have this conversation at all. 00:21:33.029 --> 00:21:35.069 Because if this person doesn't respect you or 00:21:35.069 --> 00:21:37.630 feel loved by you, you're at a massive disadvantage. 00:21:38.630 --> 00:21:40.309 And the easiest summer I can actually offer you 00:21:40.309 --> 00:21:43.609 is to ask yourself, do I love this person more 00:21:43.609 --> 00:21:48.089 than I dislike their behaviour? Because if the 00:21:48.089 --> 00:21:52.839 answer is yes to that, You're in a good place. 00:21:53.480 --> 00:21:55.940 If the answer to that is no, you may want to 00:21:55.940 --> 00:21:58.960 reevaluate the steps ahead and the steps above. 00:22:00.500 --> 00:22:02.299 Because it's worth remembering that Jesus himself 00:22:02.299 --> 00:22:04.779 very rarely spoke harshly to those around him. 00:22:05.960 --> 00:22:10.000 He favored gentle and loving correction in favor 00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:14.759 of harshness. With Peter on the beach, he didn't 00:22:14.759 --> 00:22:19.079 say, you don't really love me, Peter. Do you? 00:22:19.230 --> 00:22:21.529 Look at how you treated me, how you denied me 00:22:21.529 --> 00:22:25.549 in my greatest time of need. No. He sought confirmation. 00:22:25.630 --> 00:22:29.150 He gave Peter the dignity and the respect to 00:22:29.150 --> 00:22:32.150 form a response himself by asking, Peter, do 00:22:32.150 --> 00:22:35.329 you love me? It's a beautiful example to follow. 00:22:35.769 --> 00:22:38.170 Now one of our underspoken encounterisms, and 00:22:38.170 --> 00:22:41.029 I think plays into that, is this expression, 00:22:41.170 --> 00:22:46.059 which is, we assume the best in people. If someone 00:22:46.059 --> 00:22:48.619 has taken the time to respectfully approach you 00:22:48.619 --> 00:22:50.559 and they're someone you know loves and cares 00:22:50.559 --> 00:22:53.220 about you and has shown time and time again who 00:22:53.220 --> 00:22:56.240 they are and what you mean to them, how would 00:22:56.240 --> 00:22:58.839 your response to that feedback change if you 00:22:58.839 --> 00:23:01.059 assumed the best in what they were saying and 00:23:01.059 --> 00:23:08.119 who they are in that moment? So how do we receive 00:23:08.119 --> 00:23:12.220 feedback? I'd say this is a good one. First step, 00:23:12.380 --> 00:23:17.250 don't dread feedback. Crave it. Feedback and 00:23:17.250 --> 00:23:19.890 correction are expected, remember, when not if. 00:23:20.410 --> 00:23:23.329 So get on the front foot. Seek feedback as much 00:23:23.329 --> 00:23:27.869 as you can. Proverbs 27, 17 tells us, as iron 00:23:27.869 --> 00:23:31.250 sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another, we 00:23:31.250 --> 00:23:33.930 can and we'll improve each other through collaboration, 00:23:34.349 --> 00:23:36.789 encouragement, and yes, constructive criticism. 00:23:37.049 --> 00:23:39.009 This mutual iron sharpening iron is something 00:23:39.009 --> 00:23:41.789 we're expected to do, so I reckon it's pretty 00:23:41.789 --> 00:23:47.049 important we do it and do it well. This might 00:23:47.049 --> 00:23:49.809 be this next step to might be the most important 00:23:49.809 --> 00:23:51.829 thing that I say today because I think it's where 00:23:51.829 --> 00:23:53.630 most of us get hung up when we're looking to 00:23:53.630 --> 00:24:02.769 receive feedback Separate do from who a Criticism 00:24:02.769 --> 00:24:07.049 of something that you have done is not a critique 00:24:07.049 --> 00:24:11.890 of who you are And say that again a criticism 00:24:11.890 --> 00:24:14.250 of something you've done is not a critique of 00:24:14.250 --> 00:24:17.980 who you are Listen to the difference between, 00:24:18.480 --> 00:24:21.599 when you did blank, it really hurt my feelings. 00:24:22.160 --> 00:24:25.160 Seems pretty reasonable. That is different to 00:24:25.160 --> 00:24:30.779 you always. You are. Those are very different 00:24:30.779 --> 00:24:33.900 things. They're incredibly subtle. And the difference, 00:24:34.019 --> 00:24:39.940 again, takes us from gentleness to wrath. One 00:24:39.940 --> 00:24:43.019 is about something you've done. The other becomes 00:24:43.019 --> 00:24:48.690 about who you are. Now, if you want to meet gentleness 00:24:48.690 --> 00:24:52.369 with gentleness and not wrath, even if someone 00:24:52.369 --> 00:24:54.910 goes down the hurtful you always, the you are 00:24:54.910 --> 00:25:00.789 approach, ask clarifying questions. I would suggest 00:25:00.789 --> 00:25:02.990 if somebody brings you feedback, you start from 00:25:02.990 --> 00:25:05.329 a position of it's really hard and I'm really 00:25:05.329 --> 00:25:07.509 bad at it and I'm getting better. Start from 00:25:07.509 --> 00:25:10.069 a position of just being willing to sit and listen. 00:25:11.430 --> 00:25:14.509 And then ask clarifying questions. Hey, what 00:25:14.509 --> 00:25:17.569 I'm hearing you say is... Is that what you meant? 00:25:18.569 --> 00:25:20.430 No, you're not assuming their intent. You're 00:25:20.430 --> 00:25:22.450 clarifying. You're asking for confirmation of 00:25:22.450 --> 00:25:24.430 the intent. There's a chance the hurt or desire 00:25:24.430 --> 00:25:26.809 to be offended is rising at this point. Do not 00:25:26.809 --> 00:25:28.769 jump to conclusions. Don't jump into defense 00:25:28.769 --> 00:25:31.769 mode. Ask more questions. Every single time, 00:25:32.069 --> 00:25:33.930 every single time I've ended up in a defensive 00:25:33.930 --> 00:25:35.950 argument, it's because I've made assumptions 00:25:35.950 --> 00:25:38.109 about what the person is trying to say about 00:25:38.109 --> 00:25:39.990 their intent and about what I perceive their 00:25:39.990 --> 00:25:42.509 desired outcome is, rather than simply asking 00:25:42.509 --> 00:25:46.009 a couple of more questions. Imagine if with the 00:25:46.009 --> 00:25:47.849 first Peter, do you love me? Peter responded 00:25:47.849 --> 00:25:49.730 with, you're being stupid Jesus, this is a stupid 00:25:49.730 --> 00:25:55.529 question. I'd actually love to read what happens 00:25:55.529 --> 00:25:57.630 after that. But we didn't get there, arms folded 00:25:57.630 --> 00:26:00.269 across his chest, this is stupid. I'm gonna go 00:26:00.269 --> 00:26:01.710 over here and eat fish, I don't even want fish 00:26:01.710 --> 00:26:08.309 anymore. Right? He doesn't. Jesus starts with 00:26:08.309 --> 00:26:11.710 firm gentleness. Now let's be clear, Peter eventually 00:26:11.710 --> 00:26:14.960 responds in kind. His immediate response is not 00:26:14.960 --> 00:26:17.319 that it's heard. Sometimes you're going to find 00:26:17.319 --> 00:26:19.140 yourself in a convo as well where you are thinking, 00:26:19.180 --> 00:26:25.980 man, I have heard this so many times. We get 00:26:25.980 --> 00:26:28.920 frustrated and we think then I'm being nagged. 00:26:32.000 --> 00:26:35.480 Have you ever stopped to think that this repeated 00:26:35.480 --> 00:26:37.259 question is that there's a chance there's actually 00:26:37.259 --> 00:26:39.980 an unmet need or expectation that you've simply 00:26:39.980 --> 00:26:42.400 failed to address or implement from the last 00:26:42.400 --> 00:26:48.910 time? Ask more questions. Hey, we've discussed 00:26:48.910 --> 00:26:52.609 this before. I thought I was doing better. I 00:26:52.609 --> 00:26:54.650 thought I'd implemented some changes. Have I 00:26:54.650 --> 00:26:56.369 not? What do you need to see from me? What do 00:26:56.369 --> 00:26:59.390 we need to do together to move on from this conversation? 00:27:01.589 --> 00:27:04.009 Responding well to feedback often means that 00:27:04.009 --> 00:27:05.829 at the end of one of these conversations, you're 00:27:05.829 --> 00:27:07.609 going to find yourself either needing to offer 00:27:07.609 --> 00:27:10.690 an apology, seek an agreed upon action, or both. 00:27:17.190 --> 00:27:19.470 We'll start coming to a close. Ben, you can come 00:27:19.470 --> 00:27:24.150 up. Tim Keller offers us this quote which I have 00:27:24.150 --> 00:27:26.589 used before and I promise you I will use again. 00:27:27.789 --> 00:27:30.950 Truth without love is harshness. It gives us 00:27:30.950 --> 00:27:33.150 information but in such a way that we cannot 00:27:33.150 --> 00:27:37.029 really hear it. Love without truth is sentimentality. 00:27:37.730 --> 00:27:40.769 It supports and affirms us but keeps us in denial 00:27:40.769 --> 00:27:45.029 about our flaws. And as I was preparing for today, 00:27:45.190 --> 00:27:48.130 I couldn't help but think to myself who, when 00:27:48.130 --> 00:27:51.369 listening to this today, is most likely to shake 00:27:51.369 --> 00:27:53.430 their head a little bit knowing I struggle to 00:27:53.430 --> 00:27:55.730 practice what I preach on this topic at the best 00:27:55.730 --> 00:28:00.410 of times and more than I care to admit. I'm ashamed 00:28:00.410 --> 00:28:02.589 to say there's actually three that came to mind. 00:28:03.210 --> 00:28:06.730 The first is Cara, my lovely wife. Why? Because 00:28:06.730 --> 00:28:09.150 we've had more of these hard conversations with 00:28:09.150 --> 00:28:11.190 each other than I'll probably ever have with 00:28:11.190 --> 00:28:16.039 anybody else in my life. I've gotten it right 00:28:16.039 --> 00:28:20.619 sometimes. I've definitely gotten it wrong sometimes. 00:28:22.119 --> 00:28:24.019 And we keep on having them. We've gotten better 00:28:24.019 --> 00:28:26.420 at them. Better at them how? Through repetition, 00:28:26.680 --> 00:28:30.380 if I'm being honest. We've sought feedback from 00:28:30.380 --> 00:28:32.140 each other. We're learning to hold our tongues. 00:28:32.220 --> 00:28:35.460 We're learning to listen better. And through 00:28:35.460 --> 00:28:37.740 history, almost 20 years together, we've actually 00:28:37.740 --> 00:28:40.500 learned to see the best and expect the best in 00:28:40.500 --> 00:28:44.359 and of each other. As a result, our love is able 00:28:44.359 --> 00:28:48.700 to withstand the storm. The next group of people 00:28:48.700 --> 00:28:50.759 I thought about is not one, it's actually a group, 00:28:50.839 --> 00:28:58.660 and the next was my children. Now, a few weeks 00:28:58.660 --> 00:29:03.359 ago, I approached Cadence, who's my eldest, and 00:29:03.359 --> 00:29:05.819 knowing I was preparing for this sermon, I thought 00:29:05.819 --> 00:29:08.279 I better get ahead of myself here. I just went 00:29:08.279 --> 00:29:09.519 and sat down at the end of her bed and I was 00:29:09.519 --> 00:29:11.279 like, hey, can I ask you a question? And she 00:29:11.279 --> 00:29:13.279 said, yeah. And I said, how do you think I'm 00:29:13.279 --> 00:29:20.119 going as a dad right now? And then I listened. 00:29:23.180 --> 00:29:28.799 She was gentle, which is despite the fact she's 00:29:28.799 --> 00:29:32.240 a teenager at the heart, that's who she is. And 00:29:32.240 --> 00:29:35.789 she was kind and she was loving. And she was 00:29:35.789 --> 00:29:42.789 incredibly truthful. And I'll be honest, in that 00:29:42.789 --> 00:29:47.089 truth, some of it really hurt. Not because she 00:29:47.089 --> 00:29:55.170 was wrong, but because she was right. So I listened. 00:29:55.650 --> 00:29:59.490 And when she was done, I apologized. And I asked 00:29:59.490 --> 00:30:02.190 if I could respond, and we came up with a plan. 00:30:04.019 --> 00:30:06.319 And I gotta tell you, from that plan, my actions 00:30:06.319 --> 00:30:08.119 from here are better speak a hell of a lot louder 00:30:08.119 --> 00:30:14.140 than my words. Bless you. And the final person 00:30:14.140 --> 00:30:18.240 that came to mind was God. Because God created 00:30:18.240 --> 00:30:21.619 me, created me, He can count every hair on my 00:30:21.619 --> 00:30:23.359 head, He knows my surface level thoughts, He 00:30:23.359 --> 00:30:25.980 knows my deepest desires, and He knows the areas 00:30:25.980 --> 00:30:29.720 of my life that I've simply failed to hear and 00:30:29.720 --> 00:30:32.589 see His truth. Because through my own periods 00:30:32.589 --> 00:30:35.230 of prayer and a sermon, He knows the times He 00:30:35.230 --> 00:30:39.170 has presented it to me directly and it has been 00:30:39.170 --> 00:30:44.809 met with my wrath, my anger, my disappointment, 00:30:46.410 --> 00:30:49.369 when His truth and words at best have been ignored 00:30:49.369 --> 00:30:52.089 and at worst have been deliberately violated. 00:30:55.190 --> 00:30:57.869 He knows the times that His words have challenged 00:30:57.869 --> 00:31:00.779 me. The times I've responded well and the times 00:31:00.779 --> 00:31:06.759 that I haven't. And then I realized why those 00:31:06.759 --> 00:31:08.359 three are the three that came to mind. It's because 00:31:08.359 --> 00:31:12.859 those are the three parts of me that form the 00:31:12.859 --> 00:31:16.779 kind of core of my identity. And as a result 00:31:16.779 --> 00:31:18.880 should definitely be the areas I do feel most 00:31:18.880 --> 00:31:28.440 challenged. I am a husband. I am a father. And 00:31:28.440 --> 00:31:33.359 I'm a child of God. And anything that challenges 00:31:33.359 --> 00:31:36.980 those core parts of my identity will always hurt 00:31:36.980 --> 00:31:38.980 and challenge me the most because those three 00:31:38.980 --> 00:31:42.900 things are entirely worth pursuing. Because those 00:31:42.900 --> 00:31:46.599 three things are worthy of putting aside my pride 00:31:46.599 --> 00:31:50.759 and my ego and my wants and my desires for a 00:31:50.759 --> 00:31:53.720 greater good. Now, the first two, here's where 00:31:53.720 --> 00:31:56.500 the big difference are. The first two are my 00:31:56.500 --> 00:32:00.480 chosen identities. OK, they are things I have 00:32:00.480 --> 00:32:02.880 made a commitment to living out and getting better 00:32:02.880 --> 00:32:07.230 at every single day. But the third. is my identity 00:32:07.230 --> 00:32:09.509 as a child of God, is where I am continually 00:32:09.509 --> 00:32:12.190 renewed, where I'm continually restored, where 00:32:12.190 --> 00:32:14.890 I'm continually renewed and redeemed, where the 00:32:14.890 --> 00:32:18.849 miraculous life -changing nature of that identity 00:32:18.849 --> 00:32:22.170 is through which each and every other relationship 00:32:22.170 --> 00:32:25.009 and conversation and objective and subjecting 00:32:25.009 --> 00:32:27.609 feeling is born out of, and where those things 00:32:27.609 --> 00:32:32.630 will be continually restored and redeemed. Through 00:32:32.630 --> 00:32:37.259 Jesus, every behaviour, Every weakness, every 00:32:37.259 --> 00:32:41.619 sin is redeemable. None of these from Jesus ever 00:32:41.619 --> 00:32:46.059 identify me as you are. The only you are that 00:32:46.059 --> 00:32:50.740 matters is that I am a child of God. When you're 00:32:50.740 --> 00:32:52.740 reading scripture and it challenges you, do you 00:32:52.740 --> 00:32:54.799 move on or do you try and hear what's being said? 00:32:55.799 --> 00:32:57.880 When you're praying and you hear Jesus' voice, 00:32:57.900 --> 00:33:00.420 do you listen or do you revert back to where 00:33:00.420 --> 00:33:03.940 you think you need to be? And are you responding 00:33:03.940 --> 00:33:06.539 with Jesus' sacrifice with the gentleness, correction, 00:33:07.079 --> 00:33:11.519 acknowledgement, and gratitude it deserves? Are 00:33:11.519 --> 00:33:14.220 you allowing His continual feedback and challenging 00:33:14.220 --> 00:33:17.799 to change you time and time again? Because church, 00:33:17.859 --> 00:33:19.599 let me tell you, if you've chosen to follow Jesus, 00:33:19.680 --> 00:33:21.740 if you've chosen to pursue a discipleship under 00:33:21.740 --> 00:33:24.819 Jesus, what you have chosen is a life filled 00:33:24.819 --> 00:33:29.039 with breaking and rebuilding yourself. over and 00:33:29.039 --> 00:33:31.940 over and over again. And you have committed to 00:33:31.940 --> 00:33:34.559 that cause for the betterment of yourself and 00:33:34.559 --> 00:33:38.599 everyone around you. Because that's exactly what 00:33:38.599 --> 00:33:43.799 Jesus did. Our Saviour was put to death, hung 00:33:43.799 --> 00:33:46.640 on a cross, and asked to suffer in the worst 00:33:46.640 --> 00:33:52.160 ways imaginable. All so that He could face the 00:33:52.160 --> 00:33:54.839 wrath that we were meant to face with eternal 00:33:54.839 --> 00:34:01.319 gentleness. That's what he did. He met our wrath 00:34:01.319 --> 00:34:08.320 with gentleness, with truth and with love. Thanks 00:34:08.320 --> 00:34:10.320 so much for tuning into this week's message. 00:34:11.059 --> 00:34:14.099 If you felt challenged or need prayer, we'd love 00:34:14.099 --> 00:34:16.500 to hear from you on Instagram at encounterhenley. 00:34:17.159 --> 00:34:19.440 Or if you're interested in how you can support 00:34:19.440 --> 00:34:23.360 this ministry, please go to our website encounteradelaide 00:34:23.360 --> 00:34:27.579 .com .au. Thanks again for listening. God bless 00:34:27.579 --> 00:34:27.940 you.