WEBVTT 00:00:09.890 --> 00:00:12.689 Hey everyone, this is Josh from Encounter Church 00:00:12.689 --> 00:00:15.289 Henley and thanks so much for tuning into our 00:00:15.289 --> 00:00:18.989 podcast. Our prayer is that through this podcast 00:00:18.989 --> 00:00:20.850 you can have an encounter with Jesus that'll 00:00:20.850 --> 00:00:24.370 change your life. And now get ready for an inspiring 00:00:24.370 --> 00:00:27.850 message from our preaching team. Well, it's a 00:00:27.850 --> 00:00:30.510 great privilege to join you if you don't know 00:00:30.510 --> 00:00:34.310 me. My claim to fame is that I'm Tim Ashes and 00:00:34.310 --> 00:00:38.670 Steph's dad. That's my only claim to fame really. 00:00:39.359 --> 00:00:41.740 and I'm grateful for the opportunity to come 00:00:41.740 --> 00:00:44.820 and spend some time in the Word with you today. 00:00:45.640 --> 00:00:49.000 It's a great privilege and it's been a joy to 00:00:49.000 --> 00:00:52.460 sit on the sidelines and hear stories about what 00:00:52.460 --> 00:00:55.039 God has been doing in your midst. It's really, 00:00:55.039 --> 00:00:59.079 really exciting and a part of my role as I sit 00:00:59.079 --> 00:01:02.159 on the church planting task group for Generate 00:01:02.159 --> 00:01:05.019 and I hear what's happening across all the church 00:01:05.019 --> 00:01:09.469 plants from Generate and always excited. to hear 00:01:09.469 --> 00:01:12.469 what God's doing and and the leadership gods 00:01:12.469 --> 00:01:15.709 are raising up and you guys have got I Might 00:01:15.709 --> 00:01:17.469 be a little bit biased, but you've got some pretty 00:01:17.469 --> 00:01:20.090 good leadership Amongst you and I want to honor 00:01:20.090 --> 00:01:29.109 them today text is amazing. So Look if you knew 00:01:29.109 --> 00:01:33.510 my son when he was a teenager you would believe 00:01:33.510 --> 00:01:39.620 in miracles That's the the wonder of the man 00:01:39.620 --> 00:01:45.219 that he is today. Well, he... You know, Tex has 00:01:45.219 --> 00:01:47.120 pumped me up. Thanks, Tex, for that. That was 00:01:47.120 --> 00:01:51.879 really good. And my son has given me a passage 00:01:51.879 --> 00:01:55.659 that really has very little Holy Spirit stuff 00:01:55.659 --> 00:02:00.159 in it, so... We got that out of the way early, 00:02:00.159 --> 00:02:03.159 so that was good. That was good. Hey, we're going 00:02:03.159 --> 00:02:05.549 to be talking today because you've been... working 00:02:05.549 --> 00:02:07.049 on a series called Sorted Out. We're going to 00:02:07.049 --> 00:02:10.349 be talking about something that we call critical 00:02:10.349 --> 00:02:12.449 conversations. Now, I don't know if you know 00:02:12.449 --> 00:02:14.789 what that is, but a critical conversation, I 00:02:14.789 --> 00:02:17.009 can sum it up as a conversation that you don't 00:02:17.009 --> 00:02:21.590 want to have. Amen. And when people go to me, 00:02:21.710 --> 00:02:23.490 Barry, you're a Reverend, what do you do in a 00:02:23.490 --> 00:02:26.210 church? Actually, I had a guy that I played basketball 00:02:26.210 --> 00:02:29.689 with. I said, what do you do for a living? He 00:02:29.689 --> 00:02:31.150 goes, I'm a cleaner or something like that. I 00:02:31.150 --> 00:02:32.650 can't remember what he was doing. He goes, what 00:02:32.650 --> 00:02:34.710 do you do? And I go, I'm a pastor at a church. 00:02:34.810 --> 00:02:40.129 And he goes, people get paid to do that. But 00:02:40.129 --> 00:02:43.569 when I get asked what I do, I say, most of my 00:02:43.569 --> 00:02:45.849 work is actually having conversations that I 00:02:45.849 --> 00:02:49.870 don't want to have. And I've had a week of it, 00:02:50.430 --> 00:02:52.330 of sitting down with people who are grieving. 00:02:53.020 --> 00:02:55.620 people that are lost, and it's a privilege to 00:02:55.620 --> 00:02:59.360 do that, but boy, it's hard work. And having 00:02:59.360 --> 00:03:01.280 conversations with people with marriages are 00:03:01.280 --> 00:03:05.599 breaking up. And sometimes, you know, when you're 00:03:05.599 --> 00:03:07.819 sitting there, all you want to do is pull them 00:03:07.819 --> 00:03:10.659 close, say, I love you, and then smack them really 00:03:10.659 --> 00:03:17.000 quickly across the face. But that's not the advice 00:03:17.000 --> 00:03:21.199 that I'm going to give you today. Yeah, thanks. 00:03:24.750 --> 00:03:27.210 So we're going to be talking about those critical 00:03:27.210 --> 00:03:32.349 conversations that you don't want to have. And 00:03:32.349 --> 00:03:37.729 I'm going to start by sharing a story about my 00:03:37.729 --> 00:03:41.289 mum. My mum's 85. She's the most active 85 year 00:03:41.289 --> 00:03:44.050 old that you've ever met in your life. She still 00:03:44.050 --> 00:03:48.789 does tours as a guide in the potato gardens at 00:03:48.789 --> 00:03:53.240 85. And she does back -to -back tours in 85, 00:03:53.419 --> 00:03:56.400 sorry, 85, 35 degree heat. She goes, Barry, I 00:03:56.400 --> 00:03:58.379 felt a little bit tired at the end of the second 00:03:58.379 --> 00:04:07.819 one. I said, just stop doing them. Anyway, towards 00:04:07.819 --> 00:04:11.319 the end of last year, I started to hear that 00:04:11.319 --> 00:04:15.319 my mum was talking about me behind my back. And 00:04:15.319 --> 00:04:17.660 I don't know about you, but it's never a good 00:04:17.660 --> 00:04:20.240 thing when your mum is talking to everybody else 00:04:20.240 --> 00:04:24.959 in the family but you, about you, and it's not 00:04:24.959 --> 00:04:27.480 the things about you you want her to be talking 00:04:27.480 --> 00:04:31.399 about. And so I went and visited my brother, 00:04:32.300 --> 00:04:36.259 and look, I'm a big guy, as you probably can 00:04:36.259 --> 00:04:38.620 see. There's nothing really hiding here. And 00:04:38.620 --> 00:04:41.980 I've had a journey with trying to let go of my 00:04:41.980 --> 00:04:44.800 weight. I tell it to leave, it just is stubborn, 00:04:45.040 --> 00:04:49.759 it's staying at home. And my brother turns to 00:04:49.759 --> 00:04:53.139 me, he goes, I thought you were bigger than what 00:04:53.139 --> 00:04:54.899 you are, because I only see him once a year. 00:04:55.160 --> 00:04:57.180 I go, what do you mean? Oh, your mum made it 00:04:57.180 --> 00:05:00.240 out like you're like 500 kilograms or something. 00:05:01.540 --> 00:05:05.100 And we go, OK, that's interesting. And then I 00:05:05.100 --> 00:05:07.980 hear other bits and pieces of the family start 00:05:07.980 --> 00:05:11.339 to talk about how... My mum has been talking 00:05:11.339 --> 00:05:15.480 negatively about my back. Now, the family dynamics 00:05:15.480 --> 00:05:20.439 is that I'm the only one who visits my mum. I'm 00:05:20.439 --> 00:05:23.620 the only one who goes regularly and cares for 00:05:23.620 --> 00:05:25.980 her. My other brother's in Sydney. He'll ring 00:05:25.980 --> 00:05:28.480 her occasionally. My other brother in Adelaide 00:05:28.480 --> 00:05:31.139 will only come if my mum manipulates him into 00:05:31.139 --> 00:05:36.939 coming. So you get the picture. And I'm thinking 00:05:36.939 --> 00:05:41.389 to myself... What do I do with mum? Here she 00:05:41.389 --> 00:05:44.310 is saying stuff that I, you know, she can just 00:05:44.310 --> 00:05:47.329 say to my face, I'm not really easily offended, 00:05:47.910 --> 00:05:50.589 but for some reason she's sharing it with everybody 00:05:50.589 --> 00:05:54.009 else. But at the same time, with every other 00:05:54.009 --> 00:05:56.350 relationship in the family, she's walking on 00:05:56.350 --> 00:05:59.889 eggshells. And I don't want to walk on eggshells 00:05:59.889 --> 00:06:02.709 with me. And there's a part of me that's really 00:06:02.709 --> 00:06:05.370 angry that she doesn't actually love me enough 00:06:05.370 --> 00:06:09.660 to tell me, to my face. And then there's another 00:06:09.660 --> 00:06:11.680 part of me that goes, well, if I talk to her 00:06:11.680 --> 00:06:16.240 about this, this is going to probably maybe damage 00:06:16.240 --> 00:06:18.160 our relationship or it's going to... You know, 00:06:18.360 --> 00:06:22.360 I understand the complexities. If you're a teenager, 00:06:22.399 --> 00:06:24.199 you probably don't because you speak like that 00:06:24.199 --> 00:06:28.620 about your parents all the time. But for me, 00:06:28.620 --> 00:06:31.899 it was a critical moment and I found myself getting, 00:06:32.160 --> 00:06:34.660 as I thought about it, getting wound up more 00:06:34.660 --> 00:06:38.589 and more about... I'm the only one who cares 00:06:38.589 --> 00:06:47.250 for her. And yet she does this. And as I was 00:06:47.250 --> 00:06:50.230 talking to my lovely bride about it and she's 00:06:50.230 --> 00:06:53.689 going, oh Barry, should you say something? I 00:06:53.689 --> 00:06:58.009 realised that I had to. I had to for my sake 00:06:58.009 --> 00:07:02.430 because I was thinking about it more than I should. 00:07:02.470 --> 00:07:04.470 And that's always a really good sign that you 00:07:04.470 --> 00:07:08.670 need to have a conversation. And I did it because 00:07:08.670 --> 00:07:11.990 I didn't really want her to continue the habit 00:07:11.990 --> 00:07:18.170 that she got into. And so I said, how am I going 00:07:18.170 --> 00:07:21.149 to have, Lord, how am I going to have this conversation 00:07:21.149 --> 00:07:26.449 that I need to have with my mother? And somehow 00:07:26.449 --> 00:07:37.040 it all worked out OK. And so we were... in a 00:07:37.040 --> 00:07:44.220 conversation and God gave me this idea. And I 00:07:44.220 --> 00:07:46.600 said to her, I said, Mom, I'm sorry that I've 00:07:46.600 --> 00:07:51.480 let you down. She goes, what do you mean? I'm 00:07:51.480 --> 00:07:54.740 sorry that you feel like you have to say this 00:07:54.740 --> 00:07:58.360 stuff to other people and that you didn't feel 00:07:58.360 --> 00:08:03.120 secure enough to come and say it to me. And from 00:08:03.120 --> 00:08:05.889 there, there was this conversation about how 00:08:05.889 --> 00:08:08.470 she was feeling and what she was doing and what 00:08:08.470 --> 00:08:14.329 was happening with it. And came to a point where 00:08:14.329 --> 00:08:18.529 now, I think she'll be very hesitant to speak 00:08:18.529 --> 00:08:22.250 to someone in the family about stuff that she 00:08:22.250 --> 00:08:25.350 can talk to me, but at the same time, she knows 00:08:25.350 --> 00:08:28.209 that she's loved and that she hasn't broken the 00:08:28.209 --> 00:08:31.310 relationship. Now, my mum's not a Christian. 00:08:32.110 --> 00:08:34.889 So that journey is always a delicate one for 00:08:34.889 --> 00:08:40.210 me. But many of us have relationships in our 00:08:40.210 --> 00:08:43.750 lives that we need to have a critical conversation 00:08:43.750 --> 00:08:49.909 in. Whether it's at home or at work or in your 00:08:49.909 --> 00:08:53.070 study or something, there's always going to be, 00:08:53.110 --> 00:08:55.409 and if you haven't had one, one is coming around 00:08:55.409 --> 00:09:00.850 the corner pretty quick. we need to have a conversation. 00:09:01.009 --> 00:09:08.309 Now, many of us have this fear that it's going 00:09:08.309 --> 00:09:11.690 to go badly. And I have that fear every time. 00:09:12.889 --> 00:09:15.990 And usually the fear and the reality are two 00:09:15.990 --> 00:09:18.649 very different things. If you're someone who 00:09:18.649 --> 00:09:20.289 has journeyed with critical conversations, you 00:09:20.289 --> 00:09:23.190 know that when you actually get into it, most 00:09:23.190 --> 00:09:25.549 of the time they work out okay. Most of the time 00:09:25.549 --> 00:09:28.460 they're life -giving. But the thought that goes 00:09:28.460 --> 00:09:30.700 through your head before you get to that point 00:09:30.700 --> 00:09:32.960 is always more serious. Like the world is going 00:09:32.960 --> 00:09:35.539 to burn. You're going to drop off the end of 00:09:35.539 --> 00:09:37.879 the planet. Whatever else is going to happen 00:09:37.879 --> 00:09:43.100 is going to happen. But. And so we find it, I 00:09:43.100 --> 00:09:48.720 think, a bit easier. To tuck it away. And go, 00:09:48.820 --> 00:09:50.580 you know what, I'm not going to have this conversation. 00:09:50.600 --> 00:09:53.299 I'm just going to bury my feelings about that 00:09:53.299 --> 00:09:56.759 person deep down in my heart. and just pretend 00:09:56.759 --> 00:10:02.399 like it didn't happen. And that's an easy option, 00:10:03.460 --> 00:10:07.460 okay? It's very easy to do because the fear seems 00:10:07.460 --> 00:10:10.860 like it's insurmountable and it's just easy to 00:10:10.860 --> 00:10:12.960 say, oh, don't worry about it. It was just a 00:10:12.960 --> 00:10:16.019 couple of words that my mum said, surely I can 00:10:16.019 --> 00:10:26.179 get over it. And all of a sudden we find Our 00:10:26.179 --> 00:10:28.360 stomach's churning. We find it a little bit harder 00:10:28.360 --> 00:10:31.580 to go to sleep at night. We find that we're a 00:10:31.580 --> 00:10:33.879 little bit sharper with that person when we see 00:10:33.879 --> 00:10:36.580 them, a little bit more bitter towards them in 00:10:36.580 --> 00:10:38.860 our own private lives, and we start to drift 00:10:38.860 --> 00:10:43.919 away from our relationships. And sometimes it's 00:10:43.919 --> 00:10:47.779 not fear that does it, or fear leads us to leaving 00:10:47.779 --> 00:10:50.360 the conversation longer than we should leave 00:10:50.360 --> 00:10:53.659 it. And then all of a sudden having the conversation 00:10:53.659 --> 00:10:55.759 goes, well, you know, it was six months ago. 00:10:55.820 --> 00:10:57.860 Are they even going to remember it? Is it going 00:10:57.860 --> 00:11:01.240 to be worth it? I don't know. And you talk yourself 00:11:01.240 --> 00:11:04.139 out of it because it feels like it was something 00:11:04.139 --> 00:11:06.379 that happened so long ago. But I want to put 00:11:06.379 --> 00:11:10.639 to you today, Church, that if it's sitting in 00:11:10.639 --> 00:11:16.539 your soul, it needs to be dealt with. If it's 00:11:16.539 --> 00:11:19.720 sitting in your heart and you have not let go 00:11:19.720 --> 00:11:24.360 of it, then you need to have a critical conversation. 00:11:28.360 --> 00:11:34.759 And this is why. Because if you bury it in your 00:11:34.759 --> 00:11:37.799 heart, if you lead it too long, if you allow 00:11:37.799 --> 00:11:42.259 that bitterness to grow, then the voice of God 00:11:42.259 --> 00:11:47.059 will shrink in your life. And I say this because 00:11:47.059 --> 00:11:50.710 God speaks through the heart. If you're struggling 00:11:50.710 --> 00:11:54.210 to hear God's voice at the moment, that's probably 00:11:54.210 --> 00:11:57.389 because there is stuff inside of your life that 00:11:57.389 --> 00:11:59.909 you have not yet emptied for God's voice to be 00:11:59.909 --> 00:12:02.250 able to rise up. Doesn't mean that God can't 00:12:02.250 --> 00:12:05.490 speak. I'm just saying it becomes more difficult. 00:12:06.970 --> 00:12:10.009 There's a reason why Jesus, in the Sermon on 00:12:10.009 --> 00:12:15.009 the Mount, spends so much time talking about 00:12:15.009 --> 00:12:19.860 the matters of the heart. And that the Lord's 00:12:19.860 --> 00:12:22.419 prayer and fasting is all in the middle of that. 00:12:24.019 --> 00:12:27.519 Because God speaks through our heart. And if 00:12:27.519 --> 00:12:30.419 our heart is cluttered, if our heart has been 00:12:30.419 --> 00:12:34.299 swept under a rug and all our emotions are under 00:12:34.299 --> 00:12:40.080 there all bubbling away, then the voice of God 00:12:40.080 --> 00:12:46.320 becomes very hard, very quickly. And so Jesus 00:12:46.320 --> 00:12:49.519 is particularly interested in us making sure 00:12:49.519 --> 00:12:52.600 that we're dealing with the conversations that 00:12:52.600 --> 00:12:56.840 we need to deal with so that we can get to a 00:12:56.840 --> 00:13:03.980 point where we can grow and move forward. If 00:13:03.980 --> 00:13:10.039 it was easy, you all would be doing it. But it's 00:13:10.039 --> 00:13:19.740 not. If we have those conversations, those critical 00:13:19.740 --> 00:13:22.600 conversations, a couple of things happen according 00:13:22.600 --> 00:13:29.399 to scripture. First of all, we give the other 00:13:29.399 --> 00:13:34.059 person an opportunity to grow. When we go and 00:13:34.059 --> 00:13:36.580 have these conversations, we give them an opportunity 00:13:36.580 --> 00:13:40.019 to grow, an opportunity for our relationships 00:13:40.019 --> 00:13:43.840 and our friendships to strengthen, opportunities 00:13:43.840 --> 00:13:51.190 for that connection to go deeper. And so I want 00:13:51.190 --> 00:13:53.610 to put to you today through a bit of scripture 00:13:53.610 --> 00:13:58.509 about what and how God wants us to deal with 00:13:58.509 --> 00:14:02.649 critical conversations. And we're going to turn 00:14:02.649 --> 00:14:07.889 to a Bible passage now where Jesus is going to 00:14:07.889 --> 00:14:11.549 have a critical conversation with Peter. Remember, 00:14:11.690 --> 00:14:18.399 Peter, love the God. Just, you know, Can I hop 00:14:18.399 --> 00:14:21.860 out the boat kind of guy? I love that. I love 00:14:21.860 --> 00:14:27.100 that energy that you know, but just as Jesus 00:14:27.100 --> 00:14:30.240 was Proclaiming the Lord's Supper Peter said, 00:14:30.539 --> 00:14:32.659 you know what Lord everyone else is going to 00:14:32.659 --> 00:14:38.419 deny you but not me He makes a declaration of 00:14:38.419 --> 00:14:43.139 pride and of faith and Jesus holds him up right 00:14:43.139 --> 00:14:46.730 there and says before the night is is through, 00:14:47.149 --> 00:14:52.850 you're gonna deny me three times. And of course, 00:14:52.850 --> 00:14:55.049 we know the story leading up to Easter, that's 00:14:55.049 --> 00:15:01.509 exactly what Peter does. And this is the conversation 00:15:01.509 --> 00:15:07.629 that Jesus has with Peter after he's resurrected, 00:15:08.450 --> 00:15:15.169 after he's denied him, and to bring Peter back. 00:15:15.470 --> 00:15:17.629 into relationship with him. So we're reading 00:15:17.629 --> 00:15:22.169 from John chapter 21 and we're going to go, I 00:15:22.169 --> 00:15:27.070 think, five to 17. You can pull out your Bibles 00:15:27.070 --> 00:15:30.629 if you like. You can do that. Just a suggestion 00:15:30.629 --> 00:15:37.750 if you want to. So they've gone fishing, gone 00:15:37.750 --> 00:15:43.700 back to doing what they know how to do. And they're 00:15:43.700 --> 00:15:45.600 out there and they haven't caught anything, which 00:15:45.600 --> 00:15:47.960 is a familiar story, isn't it? Fishermen out 00:15:47.960 --> 00:15:51.440 there not catching anything. And they're coming 00:15:51.440 --> 00:15:56.039 in and they see Jesus on the shore with a fire, 00:15:56.899 --> 00:16:00.659 with some fish and some bread. And this is where 00:16:00.659 --> 00:16:02.419 we pick it up. Jesus said to them, children, 00:16:02.500 --> 00:16:05.600 do you have any fish? They answered him, no. 00:16:07.500 --> 00:16:09.720 Then he said to them, cast the net on the right 00:16:09.720 --> 00:16:13.379 side of the boat and you will find some. So right 00:16:13.379 --> 00:16:15.759 there, it's going right back to the image, isn't 00:16:15.759 --> 00:16:20.139 it, of him calling the disciples? Right back 00:16:20.139 --> 00:16:22.100 to the very beginning when he says, I'll make 00:16:22.100 --> 00:16:27.139 you fishes of men. He's calling him back. And 00:16:27.139 --> 00:16:29.980 so they cast it and now they were not able to 00:16:29.980 --> 00:16:34.159 haul it in because of the quantity of fish. And 00:16:34.159 --> 00:16:37.259 the disciple whom Jesus loved, which was John, 00:16:38.159 --> 00:16:41.950 therefore said to Peter, it is the Lord. And 00:16:41.950 --> 00:16:45.389 when Simon Peter heard it was the Lord, he put 00:16:45.389 --> 00:16:48.190 on his outer garment, for he had stripped it 00:16:48.190 --> 00:16:52.070 off for work and threw himself into the sea. 00:16:52.490 --> 00:16:56.049 The other disciples came in the boat, dragging 00:16:56.049 --> 00:16:59.289 a net full of fish, for they were not far off 00:16:59.289 --> 00:17:02.330 from land. They're about a hundred yards off, 00:17:02.350 --> 00:17:05.589 whatever that is, it's American. And when they 00:17:05.589 --> 00:17:09.359 got out on land, They saw a charcoal fire in 00:17:09.359 --> 00:17:11.599 place and fish laid on it and bread. And Jesus 00:17:11.599 --> 00:17:14.259 said to them, bring some of the fish that you 00:17:14.259 --> 00:17:17.440 have caught. And so Simon Peter went aboard and 00:17:17.440 --> 00:17:21.900 hauled the net ashore full of large fish, 153 00:17:21.900 --> 00:17:25.339 of them. Someone bothered to count. And although 00:17:25.339 --> 00:17:28.480 there were so many, the nets did not break. And 00:17:28.480 --> 00:17:33.480 that was another reference. And Jesus said to 00:17:33.480 --> 00:17:36.160 them, come and have some breakfast. Now none 00:17:36.160 --> 00:17:39.160 of the disciples dared ask him, who are you? 00:17:39.380 --> 00:17:41.880 For they knew it was the Lord and Jesus came 00:17:41.880 --> 00:17:45.279 and took the bread and gave it to them and so 00:17:45.279 --> 00:17:48.619 with the fish. This is now the third time that 00:17:48.619 --> 00:17:52.019 Jesus was refilled to the disciples after he 00:17:52.019 --> 00:17:54.720 was raised from the dead. One was Thomas and 00:17:54.720 --> 00:17:58.339 the other was in a closed room. And when they 00:17:58.339 --> 00:18:01.559 had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, 00:18:02.279 --> 00:18:06.869 Simon son of John. Do you love me more than these? 00:18:07.569 --> 00:18:10.269 And he said to them, yes, Lord, you know that 00:18:10.269 --> 00:18:14.710 I love you. And he said to him, feed my lambs. 00:18:15.430 --> 00:18:18.529 He said a second time, Simon son of John, do 00:18:18.529 --> 00:18:22.049 you love me? And he said, yes, Lord, you know 00:18:22.049 --> 00:18:25.509 that I love you. And he said to them, tend my 00:18:25.509 --> 00:18:34.829 sheep. Next slide. And he said to him the third 00:18:34.829 --> 00:18:38.450 time, Simon, son of John, do you love me? And 00:18:38.450 --> 00:18:42.289 he used a different word for love there. And 00:18:42.289 --> 00:18:44.950 Peter was grieved because he said to him a third 00:18:44.950 --> 00:18:48.529 time, do you love me? And he said to him, Lord, 00:18:48.690 --> 00:18:51.769 you know everything. You know that I love you. 00:18:52.170 --> 00:18:59.170 And Jesus said, feed my sheep. So here we have 00:18:59.170 --> 00:19:04.630 this story that that we see Jesus wanting to 00:19:04.630 --> 00:19:07.890 bring Peter back into a relationship, not just 00:19:07.890 --> 00:19:11.130 with him and Jesus, but with ministry and mission. 00:19:12.609 --> 00:19:17.009 Because really, Peter had done his dash. He said 00:19:17.009 --> 00:19:19.470 that he would never do something and then he 00:19:19.470 --> 00:19:22.450 did it. He'd broken the relationship. He'd broken 00:19:22.450 --> 00:19:26.569 trust. He'd broken everything that he said that 00:19:26.569 --> 00:19:32.190 he wouldn't broke. And Jesus... comes and wants 00:19:32.190 --> 00:19:38.890 to bring him back into an understanding for him. 00:19:39.589 --> 00:19:42.509 I don't think Jesus's love for Peter changed 00:19:42.509 --> 00:19:46.349 through the denial. It wasn't Jesus who needed 00:19:46.349 --> 00:19:50.769 this relationship. It was Peter who needed the 00:19:50.769 --> 00:19:54.049 relationship and needed this sort of conversation. 00:19:55.400 --> 00:19:59.200 And we know that Jesus is wanting to have no 00:19:59.200 --> 00:20:03.779 expectation of where Peter is at because he doesn't 00:20:03.779 --> 00:20:09.859 call him Simon Peter. He calls him Simon, son 00:20:09.859 --> 00:20:15.660 of John. That's the name that he calls him at 00:20:15.660 --> 00:20:19.359 the beginning of John's gospel before he becomes 00:20:19.359 --> 00:20:24.250 a disciple. Peter is the change of name that 00:20:24.250 --> 00:20:27.990 Jesus gives him to anoint him into ministry. 00:20:28.950 --> 00:20:32.150 So he's coming with no expectation that Peter 00:20:32.150 --> 00:20:35.829 is all on board. He sees some enthusiasm with 00:20:35.829 --> 00:20:39.650 the nets and the casting out and the fish and 00:20:39.650 --> 00:20:43.470 Peter wanting to jump into the lake, but he doesn't 00:20:43.470 --> 00:20:49.869 assume that Peter's all back on board. And so 00:20:49.869 --> 00:20:55.299 he comes to him with a sense of humility saying, 00:20:55.740 --> 00:21:00.180 where are you at, Peter? He's not prejudging 00:21:00.180 --> 00:21:06.319 what's happening in Peter's heart. But at the 00:21:06.319 --> 00:21:09.539 same time, he's showing Peter by telling him 00:21:09.539 --> 00:21:12.559 to cast the net on the other side, that he is 00:21:12.559 --> 00:21:14.839 still with him, that he's still for him, he's 00:21:14.839 --> 00:21:18.289 still going to do miracles with him. And so there's 00:21:18.289 --> 00:21:20.650 this beautiful thing that starts to happen where 00:21:20.650 --> 00:21:24.549 Jesus is starting to take Peter back to the beginning, 00:21:25.170 --> 00:21:28.309 but to still know that he is with him and for 00:21:28.309 --> 00:21:33.529 him. And then he goes on to pull, I don't know, 00:21:34.069 --> 00:21:37.170 I always imagine that Jesus pulls Peter to the 00:21:37.170 --> 00:21:40.869 side. I can't imagine sitting around the fire 00:21:40.869 --> 00:21:43.349 and go, oh, Peter, do you love me? You know, 00:21:43.349 --> 00:21:45.589 it just doesn't sort of fit the scene in my heart 00:21:45.589 --> 00:21:50.190 anyway. But I think that there is a sense where 00:21:50.190 --> 00:21:52.930 Jesus pulls Peter apart and he goes, hey, buddy, 00:21:56.829 --> 00:22:00.950 where's your heart at? Do you still love me? 00:22:02.329 --> 00:22:06.589 He's not assuming that he does, but he questions 00:22:06.589 --> 00:22:15.319 whether he does. And then Simon Peter starts 00:22:15.319 --> 00:22:23.539 to show that he does. And he asks him again and 00:22:23.539 --> 00:22:26.279 it moves something in him. And when he asks for 00:22:26.279 --> 00:22:30.440 the third time, something breaks in him. Here 00:22:30.440 --> 00:22:34.440 was a guy who was proudly proclaiming that he 00:22:34.440 --> 00:22:38.259 would never deny Christ. And now he's coming 00:22:38.259 --> 00:22:40.680 to a point where he's going, Lord, you know all 00:22:40.680 --> 00:22:47.039 things. He's not going to proudly proclaim, Jesus, 00:22:47.099 --> 00:22:50.420 I will never do this again. There's something 00:22:50.420 --> 00:22:53.660 about the experience that brings him to a fresh 00:22:53.660 --> 00:22:57.460 place of humility. Something about the experience 00:22:57.460 --> 00:23:05.220 that helps him know that he's not beyond. sinning 00:23:05.220 --> 00:23:10.559 or being broken or, you know, he once was proud 00:23:10.559 --> 00:23:17.480 and now he's not. And so in this questioning, 00:23:17.559 --> 00:23:22.240 Jesus is bringing Peter along on a journey of 00:23:22.240 --> 00:23:24.759 saying, where is your heart at? What is your 00:23:24.759 --> 00:23:29.779 motivation? And then he commissions him. That's 00:23:29.779 --> 00:23:32.039 what he's doing when he's saying, feed my sheep, 00:23:32.500 --> 00:23:35.829 tend my lambs. You say, I'm gonna make you fish 00:23:35.829 --> 00:23:38.210 as a man, that's evangelism, but what I want 00:23:38.210 --> 00:23:40.849 you to focus on now is discipleship. Feed my 00:23:40.849 --> 00:23:45.349 sheep, tend my lambs, care for them. He's giving 00:23:45.349 --> 00:23:49.170 a reactivation to Peter to enter back into ministry 00:23:49.170 --> 00:24:00.140 and back into what he's been asked to do. And 00:24:00.140 --> 00:24:03.000 so we see this beautiful image of Jesus having 00:24:03.000 --> 00:24:07.319 a critical conversation that brings Peter back 00:24:07.319 --> 00:24:10.779 on board. We know from history that he becomes 00:24:10.779 --> 00:24:15.579 the leader of the church. He's held high from 00:24:15.579 --> 00:24:19.420 really from this point onwards. He's the one 00:24:19.420 --> 00:24:23.339 who preaches the sermon to 3000 people get saved. 00:24:23.440 --> 00:24:26.839 I'm still waiting for that to happen to me. You 00:24:26.839 --> 00:24:28.940 know, he's the one who does the first miracle 00:24:28.940 --> 00:24:33.160 after the Holy Spirit. He's the one who launches 00:24:33.160 --> 00:24:36.839 the church further. And he does it out of not 00:24:36.839 --> 00:24:39.819 a sense of guilt and shame that would have happened 00:24:39.819 --> 00:24:43.079 if Jesus didn't have this conversation, but out 00:24:43.079 --> 00:24:46.220 of certainty and out of love and out of knowing 00:24:46.220 --> 00:24:51.769 that God is with him because he did. And that's 00:24:51.769 --> 00:24:54.769 the reality of what critical conversations are 00:24:54.769 --> 00:24:56.690 meant to be about. They're meant to bring us 00:24:56.690 --> 00:25:00.029 to a better place. And although we fear them 00:25:00.029 --> 00:25:02.289 and although they seem big and scary and although 00:25:02.289 --> 00:25:06.269 they seem like they're too beyond, Jesus is really 00:25:06.269 --> 00:25:09.289 quite hot on the fact that we should engage on 00:25:09.289 --> 00:25:18.470 them. Look at Matthew 5 to 25 for us. It says, 00:25:19.369 --> 00:25:23.369 So if you're offering your gift at the altar, 00:25:23.950 --> 00:25:26.910 and there remember that your brother slash sister 00:25:26.910 --> 00:25:30.829 has something against you, leave your gifts before 00:25:30.829 --> 00:25:34.430 the altar and go. And first become reconciled 00:25:34.430 --> 00:25:37.670 with your brother and sister, and then come and 00:25:37.670 --> 00:25:42.349 offer your gift. Come to terms quickly with your 00:25:42.349 --> 00:25:45.569 accuser while you are going to court, lest your 00:25:45.569 --> 00:25:48.519 accuser hands you over to the judge. and the 00:25:48.519 --> 00:25:51.920 judge to the guard, and you'll be put in prison. 00:25:53.140 --> 00:25:56.839 Here Jesus is saying that you need to deal with 00:25:56.839 --> 00:26:00.700 the relationship breakdowns or the struggles 00:26:00.700 --> 00:26:04.380 that you have in your life. And as a pastor, 00:26:04.480 --> 00:26:07.559 I've got to do it with my mum. I've got to do 00:26:07.559 --> 00:26:13.779 it with my kids. I've got to do it with my work. 00:26:13.839 --> 00:26:16.589 I've got to do it with my staff. I'm going to 00:26:16.589 --> 00:26:19.529 do it with my congregation as well. I have to 00:26:19.529 --> 00:26:21.710 do it with everyone that I'm in relationship 00:26:21.710 --> 00:26:25.650 with. And the bottom line is healthy churches 00:26:25.650 --> 00:26:31.470 are born where disagreements aren't swept under 00:26:31.470 --> 00:26:35.890 the carpet but are dealt with quickly. And I 00:26:35.890 --> 00:26:38.849 say to my church, it's not a matter of if but 00:26:38.849 --> 00:26:41.230 it's a matter of when that you get upset with 00:26:41.230 --> 00:26:43.230 me or the leadership or something that's happening 00:26:43.230 --> 00:26:48.970 in the church. And the issue is not that you 00:26:48.970 --> 00:26:52.569 get upset. The issue is what you do when you 00:26:52.569 --> 00:26:57.349 get upset. You're gonna get upset. I know me 00:26:57.349 --> 00:26:59.549 well enough to know that it's only a matter of 00:26:59.549 --> 00:27:02.309 time until people are upset with me. I am gonna 00:27:02.309 --> 00:27:04.630 say something stupid. I'm gonna do something 00:27:04.630 --> 00:27:06.509 stupid. I'm gonna do something hurtful. It's 00:27:06.509 --> 00:27:09.009 just a matter of time. Tim's coming back in a 00:27:09.009 --> 00:27:11.750 couple of weeks. He can mop up the fallout from 00:27:11.750 --> 00:27:19.069 tonight. But... So it's not an if. Just like 00:27:19.069 --> 00:27:21.849 it's not a if that you're never going to have 00:27:21.849 --> 00:27:25.410 an argument in your family. How many people have 00:27:25.410 --> 00:27:28.490 never had an argument in their family? Yeah, 00:27:28.490 --> 00:27:30.930 that's exactly what I thought. My daughter's 00:27:30.930 --> 00:27:35.250 in the room. So... And she didn't put up her 00:27:35.250 --> 00:27:41.549 hand. You know, it's not when, it's if. No, sorry, 00:27:41.650 --> 00:27:43.730 it's not if, it's when. Just checking that you're 00:27:43.730 --> 00:27:49.509 listening. And so it's what we do after it happens 00:27:49.509 --> 00:27:52.990 is the important thing. And a healthy church 00:27:52.990 --> 00:27:57.589 is a church where when people are, when you get 00:27:57.589 --> 00:28:00.029 upset, that you go to the person and deal with 00:28:00.029 --> 00:28:03.849 it quickly. It doesn't mean that your feelings 00:28:03.849 --> 00:28:06.069 don't matter. It means that your feelings matter 00:28:06.069 --> 00:28:11.369 more than you know. And they matter so much that 00:28:11.369 --> 00:28:14.119 we gotta deal with them. and you've got to deal 00:28:14.119 --> 00:28:17.779 with them and God wants to deal with them. So 00:28:17.779 --> 00:28:21.839 it's when this happens. Now there's something 00:28:21.839 --> 00:28:25.440 that people tend to do to get around critical 00:28:25.440 --> 00:28:28.579 conversations and it's called triangulation. 00:28:29.220 --> 00:28:31.200 Now you might... I don't know what that means, 00:28:31.380 --> 00:28:33.079 but you will know it when I describe it to you. 00:28:33.180 --> 00:28:35.200 It's when I've got an issue with text, so I go 00:28:35.200 --> 00:28:37.440 to Ash and say, Ash, I've got an issue with text. 00:28:37.799 --> 00:28:40.819 Can you speak to text for me and let him know? 00:28:41.059 --> 00:28:43.220 It sounds like a schoolyard, but we still do 00:28:43.220 --> 00:28:51.880 it as adults, don't we? Let's talk about your 00:28:51.880 --> 00:28:59.269 shoes. So... I know he's got a thing or two. 00:29:02.630 --> 00:29:05.150 You know, that's triangulation, and that doesn't 00:29:05.150 --> 00:29:09.069 help. You know, I've had people come to me and 00:29:09.069 --> 00:29:13.529 say, such and such is angry with you, okay? And 00:29:13.529 --> 00:29:16.509 I go to the person, I say, you know, who says 00:29:16.509 --> 00:29:18.990 they're angry with me, because I like to, in 00:29:18.990 --> 00:29:21.269 straight lines, not in triangles. And I say, 00:29:21.869 --> 00:29:26.410 I don't want to talk to you about it. They go, 00:29:26.589 --> 00:29:30.089 well, where does that leave me? I want to reconcile. 00:29:32.809 --> 00:29:34.569 But if you don't want to talk to me, what do 00:29:34.569 --> 00:29:39.009 I do? I've got nowhere to go other than to say 00:29:39.009 --> 00:29:41.130 I'm ready to speak to you when you are ready 00:29:41.130 --> 00:29:43.509 to speak to me. But those people are the ones 00:29:43.509 --> 00:29:46.190 who bury it under the carpet, put their emotions 00:29:46.190 --> 00:29:53.269 down and don't deal with it. So I've got a couple 00:29:53.269 --> 00:29:58.299 of... A couple of ideas for you on how to have 00:29:58.299 --> 00:30:00.079 a critical conversation. Are you ready to go 00:30:00.079 --> 00:30:06.740 here with me? All right. And this is to be done 00:30:06.740 --> 00:30:12.019 in church. This is to be done at home. This has 00:30:12.019 --> 00:30:14.259 got to be done in all sorts of ways. The very 00:30:14.259 --> 00:30:18.640 first thing is you have to do your own work. 00:30:20.519 --> 00:30:23.980 So before you have... your conversation with 00:30:23.980 --> 00:30:26.779 someone else, you've got to check your own heart. 00:30:28.000 --> 00:30:31.019 So before I came to my mum, I had to forgive 00:30:31.019 --> 00:30:39.640 her. You heard me, forgive her. Now I only needed 00:30:39.640 --> 00:30:41.339 to forgive her because it was such a big thing 00:30:41.339 --> 00:30:46.180 in me. If I didn't care about what she thought, 00:30:46.299 --> 00:30:47.819 then I probably didn't need to forgive her, but 00:30:47.819 --> 00:30:51.809 I did because she's my mum. And mum's words always 00:30:51.809 --> 00:30:56.910 have a little bit more weight, don't they? You've 00:30:56.910 --> 00:30:58.829 got to do your own work first. You've got to 00:30:58.829 --> 00:31:01.970 let go of your judgment of the other person. 00:31:03.329 --> 00:31:07.750 Imagine if Jesus came to Peter going, you mongrel. 00:31:09.029 --> 00:31:11.869 You said you weren't going to deny me, but you 00:31:11.869 --> 00:31:19.150 did. How dare you? The chances of reconciliation. 00:31:19.369 --> 00:31:23.730 are about minus 20 at that stage. OK, because 00:31:23.730 --> 00:31:29.049 Pete's walls are up. You know, he's defensive. 00:31:29.289 --> 00:31:32.170 He goes, well, you know, you don't understand. 00:31:32.569 --> 00:31:35.390 I was under pressure and Jesus would have come 00:31:35.390 --> 00:31:40.650 back. Yeah, but I was getting whipped. Oh, but 00:31:40.650 --> 00:31:45.369 I thought. You got to do your own work first. 00:31:46.829 --> 00:31:49.809 Pray through your forgiveness, work through your 00:31:49.809 --> 00:31:55.009 judgment and let it go. And then you can have 00:31:55.009 --> 00:31:57.670 the conversation that you need to have a conversation 00:31:57.670 --> 00:32:00.809 with. But if you don't do that work first, you 00:32:00.809 --> 00:32:04.549 come with all kinds of baggage to the conversation 00:32:04.549 --> 00:32:08.210 and the conversation will never go as well as 00:32:08.210 --> 00:32:10.930 what you want it to be. The second point, come 00:32:10.930 --> 00:32:16.819 to it with humility. Don't come... wanting your 00:32:16.819 --> 00:32:21.559 own outcome to be achieved. Come wanting to seek 00:32:21.559 --> 00:32:26.319 connection and reconnection. Don't come demanding 00:32:26.319 --> 00:32:30.480 that they change. Jesus doesn't come to Peter 00:32:30.480 --> 00:32:35.660 and goes, do better. He comes and says, do you 00:32:35.660 --> 00:32:40.859 love me? You know, do you love me more than this 00:32:40.859 --> 00:32:43.319 job of fishing? Do you love me more than the 00:32:43.319 --> 00:32:46.009 other disciples? Do you love me more than these? 00:32:46.089 --> 00:32:49.769 We don't know what the these are. But Jesus was 00:32:49.769 --> 00:32:55.349 just saying, do you love me? He's asking a question. 00:32:55.549 --> 00:32:58.630 He's wanting to seek the person's heart. He's 00:32:58.630 --> 00:33:02.069 not coming demanding that Peter does anything. 00:33:03.410 --> 00:33:06.309 He's coming wanting to see where his heart is. 00:33:06.589 --> 00:33:09.930 And if we want to come to a place of seeing reconciliation 00:33:09.930 --> 00:33:13.109 with the person that we have issues with, then 00:33:13.109 --> 00:33:23.490 we've got to come with a place of humility. Not 00:33:23.490 --> 00:33:26.730 demanding that someone change, but letting them 00:33:26.730 --> 00:33:32.920 be who they are. And seeking a connection. where 00:33:32.920 --> 00:33:37.660 they are. The third thing is deal with it quickly. 00:33:37.660 --> 00:33:41.500 We saw that in the Matthew passage. That is the 00:33:41.500 --> 00:33:44.160 longer you leave it the harder it becomes to 00:33:44.160 --> 00:33:47.920 have the conversation. I had a great mentor in 00:33:47.920 --> 00:33:52.980 this. I've had a few mentors growing up in ministry 00:33:52.980 --> 00:33:57.339 but there was one guy called Darren who was a 00:33:57.339 --> 00:33:59.559 great Christian example for me but one day I 00:33:59.559 --> 00:34:03.650 was at a meeting And we're in this conversation, 00:34:03.789 --> 00:34:06.569 and just as the conversation started, one of 00:34:06.569 --> 00:34:10.070 the persons says, oh, Darren, do you know that 00:34:10.070 --> 00:34:12.449 you offended that guy who's just walking off? 00:34:13.989 --> 00:34:17.110 And Darren could have gone, oh, tough luck. But 00:34:17.110 --> 00:34:25.750 Darren chased the guy down, ran across the yard 00:34:25.750 --> 00:34:28.619 or whatever it was. It was where you had your 00:34:28.619 --> 00:34:30.639 launch actually at Woodville Uniting. So there 00:34:30.639 --> 00:34:33.760 you go. And he tapped him on the shoulder and 00:34:33.760 --> 00:34:36.059 he says, look, did I do something to offend you? 00:34:36.840 --> 00:34:38.860 He wasn't prepared. And I knew that of Darren 00:34:38.860 --> 00:34:42.019 all the way through. He was never prepared to 00:34:42.019 --> 00:34:47.840 let an issue stay there very long. He would deal 00:34:47.840 --> 00:34:53.119 with it quickly. And I think Jesus' words are 00:34:53.119 --> 00:34:55.900 here very powerfully. When we bury it for too 00:34:55.900 --> 00:34:58.739 long, it festers, it becomes an issue. But to 00:34:58.739 --> 00:35:01.480 deal with it quickly, then you can put your head 00:35:01.480 --> 00:35:03.539 on the pillow at night and you know that you've 00:35:03.539 --> 00:35:07.219 done everything that you can do. And the last 00:35:07.219 --> 00:35:12.559 one is seek understanding. And reconciliation. 00:35:13.139 --> 00:35:15.320 That's what really critical conversations are 00:35:15.320 --> 00:35:20.400 all about. Is about... getting out the way and 00:35:20.400 --> 00:35:24.500 helping the relationship move forward in some 00:35:24.500 --> 00:35:29.840 form or another. So it doesn't matter where we 00:35:29.840 --> 00:35:34.219 are in life, whether at home or at study, critical 00:35:34.219 --> 00:35:37.019 conversations need to be a part of our life. 00:35:38.059 --> 00:35:43.619 And it takes guts. It takes courage to have them. 00:35:45.869 --> 00:35:48.889 I get asked, Barry, does it get easier? And every 00:35:48.889 --> 00:35:52.929 time I say no, not once is it easier than others. 00:35:53.409 --> 00:35:56.949 Every single time my fear jumps in. Every single 00:35:56.949 --> 00:36:00.969 time I go, is there a different way? Every time 00:36:00.969 --> 00:36:03.829 I think it's going to go worse than what it does. 00:36:04.849 --> 00:36:07.849 But I need to put that aside to have the conversation. 00:36:08.889 --> 00:36:12.849 And for me, I ask myself this question, what 00:36:12.849 --> 00:36:17.639 will happen if I don't? What will happen if I 00:36:17.639 --> 00:36:20.579 don't have this conversation? And as a pastor 00:36:20.579 --> 00:36:22.719 of the church, if I don't have critical conversations, 00:36:22.920 --> 00:36:25.019 then bad behavior keeps on happening within the 00:36:25.019 --> 00:36:28.639 life of my church. If I don't have these conversations, 00:36:29.139 --> 00:36:32.599 then people will get bitter towards me. And all 00:36:32.599 --> 00:36:36.280 of a sudden, I will have people speaking behind 00:36:36.280 --> 00:36:39.739 my back about me that may or may not be true. 00:36:40.500 --> 00:36:43.019 If I don't have critical conversations, then 00:36:43.019 --> 00:36:46.500 all of a sudden I become the third son. who my 00:36:46.500 --> 00:36:50.039 mother doesn't talk to. If I don't have a critical 00:36:50.039 --> 00:36:53.019 conversation, if I don't see where it's gonna 00:36:53.019 --> 00:36:59.079 land, then I'm not motivated to do it. And so 00:36:59.079 --> 00:37:02.260 I want you to ask yourself the question, what 00:37:02.260 --> 00:37:06.659 will happen? Because I can tell you a lot of 00:37:06.659 --> 00:37:11.739 mental health is unprocessed emotions with unprocessed 00:37:11.739 --> 00:37:16.090 conversations. Not all, but a lot. And that's 00:37:16.090 --> 00:37:19.949 where it normally starts. And so there's all 00:37:19.949 --> 00:37:22.050 kinds of things that you've got to ask yourself 00:37:22.050 --> 00:37:26.590 about. What will it cost me if I don't? Will 00:37:26.590 --> 00:37:30.309 it cost you your mental health? Will it cost 00:37:30.309 --> 00:37:38.070 the bad behaviour? Will it cost people speaking 00:37:38.070 --> 00:37:46.170 poorly about you? What will it cost? And then 00:37:46.170 --> 00:37:47.630 you've got to ask yourself how you're prepared 00:37:47.630 --> 00:37:56.230 to pay the cost. And I've got to say, every time 00:37:56.230 --> 00:38:01.309 I'm not. I'm not prepared to lay in bed at night 00:38:01.309 --> 00:38:05.190 with an argument going around in my head about 00:38:05.190 --> 00:38:07.670 how someone's hurt me. I'm just not prepared 00:38:07.670 --> 00:38:12.329 to count the cost. I like sleep too much. Particularly 00:38:12.329 --> 00:38:16.980 in the morning, not so much late at night. I'm 00:38:16.980 --> 00:38:20.400 not prepared to count the cost of a church that 00:38:20.400 --> 00:38:24.099 is in disarray and is a bitter with each other. 00:38:24.099 --> 00:38:30.559 I'm not prepared to count that cost. I'm not 00:38:30.559 --> 00:38:32.519 prepared to count the cost of having a mother 00:38:32.519 --> 00:38:37.019 who doesn't have a son to talk to. I'm just not 00:38:37.019 --> 00:38:40.760 prepared to do it. So ask yourself, are you prepared 00:38:40.760 --> 00:38:45.820 to continue to pay the cost? Because if you don't 00:38:45.820 --> 00:38:48.519 deal with the critical conversations, it stays 00:38:48.519 --> 00:38:52.119 with you. And you can bury it and you cannot 00:38:52.119 --> 00:38:54.420 think about it, but as soon as you see that person 00:38:54.420 --> 00:38:58.400 again, as soon as you hear their name, as soon 00:38:58.400 --> 00:39:00.900 as something happens to remind you of it, it 00:39:00.900 --> 00:39:06.440 will all flood back. And it will get worse and 00:39:06.440 --> 00:39:15.190 worse and worse. Are you prepared to pay the 00:39:15.190 --> 00:39:23.989 cost? I'm not. This is a discipleship issue. 00:39:25.829 --> 00:39:28.570 This is what Jesus really says, if you're going 00:39:28.570 --> 00:39:31.289 to have relationships, this is what you need 00:39:31.289 --> 00:39:33.789 to do. And he's doing it not because he wants 00:39:33.789 --> 00:39:36.190 to make your life hard, because he wants to make 00:39:36.190 --> 00:39:42.099 your life easy. He doesn't want you to be worried 00:39:42.099 --> 00:39:44.239 about this stuff. He just wants you to deal with 00:39:44.239 --> 00:39:48.659 it. And we've got to get our fear and our anxiety 00:39:48.659 --> 00:39:52.739 and all the things that prevent us from doing 00:39:52.739 --> 00:39:57.659 these things. And we need to crucify them with 00:39:57.659 --> 00:40:02.019 Jesus on the cross and step into a brave world 00:40:02.019 --> 00:40:12.840 of having critical conversations. Thanks so much 00:40:12.840 --> 00:40:15.599 for tuning into this week's message. If you felt 00:40:15.599 --> 00:40:18.400 challenged or need prayer, we'd love to hear 00:40:18.400 --> 00:40:21.440 from you on Instagram at encounterhenley. Or 00:40:21.440 --> 00:40:23.719 if you're interested in how you can support this 00:40:23.719 --> 00:40:27.380 ministry, please go to our website encounteradelaide 00:40:27.380 --> 00:40:31.559 .com .au. Thanks again for listening. God bless 00:40:31.559 --> 00:40:31.920 you.