WEBVTT 00:00:16.519 --> 00:00:20.260 Welcome to Networking Unleashed, Building Profitable 00:00:20.260 --> 00:00:24.039 Connections, where real conversations create 00:00:24.039 --> 00:00:27.620 real opportunities. I'm your host, Michael Foreman, 00:00:27.699 --> 00:00:30.160 and this show is about more than meeting people. 00:00:30.379 --> 00:00:33.759 It's about rebuilding, strengthening, and protecting 00:00:33.759 --> 00:00:36.340 the relationships that actually support your 00:00:36.340 --> 00:00:39.640 success. Today's conversation hits a reality 00:00:39.640 --> 00:00:43.560 many professionals face. Your world changes. 00:00:43.619 --> 00:00:46.859 Your circle shifts. The old way of networking 00:00:46.859 --> 00:00:51.020 no longer works. My guest is a disciplined international. 00:00:51.679 --> 00:00:55.700 I'm sorry. My guest is a disciplined, intentional 00:00:55.700 --> 00:00:59.579 approach to rebuilding a network from the ground 00:00:59.579 --> 00:01:03.380 up with structure, follow -up, and self -leadership 00:01:03.380 --> 00:01:09.040 at the center of it all. I'm just confusing all 00:01:09.040 --> 00:01:12.180 my words together. We're talking about how to 00:01:12.180 --> 00:01:14.739 choose the right connections, how to lead yourself 00:01:14.739 --> 00:01:17.140 before you're reaching out to others, and how 00:01:17.140 --> 00:01:20.239 to turn follow -up into repeatable habits instead 00:01:20.239 --> 00:01:23.700 of forgotten tasks. If you're ready to stop leaving 00:01:23.700 --> 00:01:26.799 relationships to chance and start building connections 00:01:26.799 --> 00:01:29.920 that last, you're exactly where you need to be. 00:01:30.489 --> 00:01:33.409 So buckle up, buttercup, get ready, because we're 00:01:33.409 --> 00:01:36.870 going to begin this podcast. Anka, I just want 00:01:36.870 --> 00:01:40.230 to welcome you to the podcast. I'm so glad that 00:01:40.230 --> 00:01:42.569 you're here. And why don't you give us a little 00:01:42.569 --> 00:01:46.489 backstory of how you got here today? Well, Michael, 00:01:46.549 --> 00:01:49.129 thank you so much for having me. Super excited 00:01:49.129 --> 00:01:55.489 to be part of this conversation. Short synopsis, 00:01:55.489 --> 00:01:59.790 I would say that I first started my professional 00:01:59.790 --> 00:02:02.989 career in radio. This was back in Romania while 00:02:02.989 --> 00:02:05.709 I was still high school and college. I graduated 00:02:05.709 --> 00:02:09.210 in computer science. Didn't want to do much in 00:02:09.210 --> 00:02:14.210 it. Funny how life plays you when, you know, 00:02:14.250 --> 00:02:17.530 many years later, all you do is coding and computer 00:02:17.530 --> 00:02:21.969 and AI. So that's just that. Like the irony of 00:02:21.969 --> 00:02:24.030 things. But really what I wanted to do with my 00:02:24.030 --> 00:02:27.569 life was invest myself in AV production, which 00:02:27.569 --> 00:02:31.590 is like unheard of if you're a young girl in 00:02:31.590 --> 00:02:34.310 Romania, in a country that's traditionally and 00:02:34.310 --> 00:02:37.849 culturally quite traditional in that sense. Like 00:02:37.849 --> 00:02:40.449 the expectation was that I was going to finish 00:02:40.449 --> 00:02:43.949 college, get married, have kids and forget about 00:02:43.949 --> 00:02:47.610 my professional career. That did not work out 00:02:47.610 --> 00:02:49.770 for me too well. That was not the dreams that 00:02:49.770 --> 00:02:53.930 I had for myself. So because it didn't pan out 00:02:53.930 --> 00:02:57.009 to be the direction that I wanted, I decided 00:02:57.009 --> 00:03:00.030 to work just enough to get myself a one -way 00:03:00.030 --> 00:03:02.789 ticket to US, the land of all opportunities. 00:03:03.349 --> 00:03:05.409 That's what I had in my mind that this would 00:03:05.409 --> 00:03:09.990 be. And I started my career in AV production, 00:03:10.229 --> 00:03:13.030 actually, in LA from the ground up. Actually, 00:03:13.069 --> 00:03:16.469 my card to getting in that field was knocking 00:03:16.469 --> 00:03:20.550 at doors and telling people, hey, I can fix your 00:03:20.550 --> 00:03:23.849 computers if you teach me how to do production. 00:03:24.710 --> 00:03:27.449 And that worked once, and that's all I needed. 00:03:28.889 --> 00:03:31.370 And I started working for this production company 00:03:31.370 --> 00:03:34.150 down in LA, and we did a lot of amazing shows, 00:03:34.270 --> 00:03:37.909 a lot of A -list celebrities, runaway shows, 00:03:38.090 --> 00:03:42.090 and a lot of good stuff that really got me. to 00:03:42.090 --> 00:03:44.110 be hands -on and learn everything that there 00:03:44.110 --> 00:03:46.930 was to learn about audio production, video production, 00:03:47.129 --> 00:03:50.310 lighting, everything and anything under the sun 00:03:50.310 --> 00:03:53.169 in that space. And after doing that for a while, 00:03:53.270 --> 00:03:56.150 I burned out because I happened to be someone 00:03:56.150 --> 00:03:59.409 that truly invest themselves in all the way. 00:03:59.830 --> 00:04:03.849 And then I moved to Portland, Oregon to start 00:04:03.849 --> 00:04:05.870 working in corporate events because I figured 00:04:05.870 --> 00:04:09.389 that's an easier lifestyle than live events, 00:04:09.449 --> 00:04:12.060 than setting up stages. in the middle of nowhere 00:04:12.060 --> 00:04:15.580 or putting on, you know, those concerts, which 00:04:15.580 --> 00:04:20.540 is a lot of hard manual physical work. So that's 00:04:20.540 --> 00:04:22.579 when I started my family as well. Eventually 00:04:22.579 --> 00:04:25.180 that led to starting my own production agency. 00:04:25.839 --> 00:04:29.839 And a lot of the clients that I have made relationship 00:04:29.839 --> 00:04:34.079 with and network with carried over to my agency. 00:04:34.480 --> 00:04:38.529 And then... We moved to Boise, where I now live. 00:04:38.790 --> 00:04:41.990 Boise was an opportunity for my husband. It didn't 00:04:41.990 --> 00:04:44.029 really quite matter for me where I was because 00:04:44.029 --> 00:04:46.910 I was doing a lot of remote work anyway. And 00:04:46.910 --> 00:04:50.730 one thing led to another. I got into other things. 00:04:50.870 --> 00:04:53.129 I started my own podcast because at one point 00:04:53.129 --> 00:04:58.110 I had those thoughts about, hey, I used to love 00:04:58.110 --> 00:05:01.310 doing radio. I used to really enjoy that. How 00:05:01.310 --> 00:05:05.439 come I don't have a podcast? And so I did, which 00:05:05.439 --> 00:05:09.379 now is one of the top podcast, event podcast 00:05:09.379 --> 00:05:14.319 in event technology and AI. And it's 11th season. 00:05:14.519 --> 00:05:17.180 So it's been a minute. Also, I started doing 00:05:17.180 --> 00:05:20.399 a lot of speaking on stages about AV production 00:05:20.399 --> 00:05:24.519 at first, advocating for more women behind the 00:05:24.519 --> 00:05:26.939 scenes. That's been something that I pioneered 00:05:26.939 --> 00:05:29.959 over the years because for many years, I happened 00:05:29.959 --> 00:05:33.939 to be the only woman behind the scene. team I 00:05:33.939 --> 00:05:37.339 was either hands -on mixing or doing something 00:05:37.339 --> 00:05:41.439 of a technical capacity and I was always surrounded 00:05:41.439 --> 00:05:44.620 by guys always so it was like you look around 00:05:44.620 --> 00:05:46.740 there like how come I'm the only one where are 00:05:46.740 --> 00:05:49.319 the other women so you realize that there's a 00:05:49.319 --> 00:05:52.699 lot of things that come in the way of that and 00:05:52.699 --> 00:05:55.480 a lot of that has to do yes with the physical 00:05:55.480 --> 00:05:58.980 aspect of hard work even now if you go to an 00:05:58.980 --> 00:06:01.600 event and you look behind the scenes for the 00:06:01.600 --> 00:06:05.160 most part, you're going to see the tech team 00:06:05.160 --> 00:06:08.920 being predominantly male, right? Because not 00:06:08.920 --> 00:06:12.439 only do you get there to be looking pretty and 00:06:12.439 --> 00:06:14.459 mixing and pretending like you know what all 00:06:14.459 --> 00:06:17.819 these buttons do, but you have to be there at 00:06:17.819 --> 00:06:20.259 4 a .m. when you load in and you have to be there 00:06:20.259 --> 00:06:23.060 at 3 a .m. when you load out. So it's a very 00:06:23.060 --> 00:06:32.250 long span day that is very physical. So a concerned 00:06:32.250 --> 00:06:35.910 i never shied away from hard work physical or 00:06:35.910 --> 00:06:41.069 not i grew up hard work environment, like working 00:06:41.069 --> 00:06:44.589 the fields. When I was a child, my parents had 00:06:44.589 --> 00:06:48.089 a farm and you did what you had to do, which 00:06:48.089 --> 00:06:51.149 also later in life pushed me into bodybuilding. 00:06:51.290 --> 00:06:54.649 I realized my body is really strong. I can carry 00:06:54.649 --> 00:06:56.790 not just I can carry a lot of weight, I can lift 00:06:56.790 --> 00:06:59.389 a lot of weight, but I'm really built this way. 00:06:59.490 --> 00:07:02.430 So that's pushed me into bodybuilding, into competing, 00:07:02.610 --> 00:07:05.540 into doing really well. And all of that. coming 00:07:05.540 --> 00:07:10.360 around the circle of life is that Now I embed 00:07:10.360 --> 00:07:13.699 a lot of those lessons learned under the barbell 00:07:13.699 --> 00:07:16.860 into the Fit for Events framework, which is leading 00:07:16.860 --> 00:07:20.199 the conversations in the event space about burnout, 00:07:20.379 --> 00:07:23.720 about performance, about capacity. Mental, physical, 00:07:23.959 --> 00:07:26.600 emotional, and spiritual health are the pillars 00:07:26.600 --> 00:07:29.040 that I really care about under that framework. 00:07:29.500 --> 00:07:31.740 AI is a big part of the conversation, right? 00:07:31.800 --> 00:07:35.180 It has really changed how we do things, how we... 00:07:36.519 --> 00:07:40.120 automate a lot of the manual tasks that we used 00:07:40.120 --> 00:07:42.959 to spend quite a bit of time on just in the last 00:07:42.959 --> 00:07:45.620 few years alone. And as someone that I really 00:07:45.620 --> 00:07:48.279 stayed on top of the latest and the greatest, 00:07:48.319 --> 00:07:50.680 not just in AV production, but also in technology, 00:07:51.180 --> 00:07:53.279 event technology, and anything and everything, 00:07:53.379 --> 00:07:57.399 I think I just had a bit of a skill set to really 00:07:57.399 --> 00:08:00.399 learn things easily and apply them practically 00:08:00.399 --> 00:08:03.959 and then be able to tell others how things work. 00:08:04.199 --> 00:08:06.959 I took it upon myself. right when Chagi PT came 00:08:06.959 --> 00:08:10.500 out in 2020, 2022, something like that. It was 00:08:10.500 --> 00:08:14.019 like around right after COVID to learn what this 00:08:14.019 --> 00:08:16.300 thing is. What does it do? How does it work? 00:08:16.519 --> 00:08:19.899 How can I make my life easier? Basically, that 00:08:19.899 --> 00:08:23.259 was like the whole point of it. So that's my 00:08:23.259 --> 00:08:26.000 trajectory through life. And when coming back 00:08:26.000 --> 00:08:28.459 to our conversation, to the topic that I know 00:08:28.459 --> 00:08:32.460 you're so fond of. All of that would not be possible 00:08:32.460 --> 00:08:35.639 without relationships, without connections, without 00:08:35.639 --> 00:08:38.419 people, right? Like you can look at your life 00:08:38.419 --> 00:08:40.600 and say, I have accomplished so many things, 00:08:40.720 --> 00:08:44.860 but that would be such vanity. And so much ego 00:08:44.860 --> 00:08:47.940 embedded into that. Whereas everything that I 00:08:47.940 --> 00:08:50.179 have accomplished is because there's someone 00:08:50.179 --> 00:08:53.720 along the way that supported my growth trajectory. 00:08:54.240 --> 00:08:57.220 Like when I got to LA and I met and I ended up 00:08:57.220 --> 00:09:01.159 working in this production house, I met the chairman 00:09:01.159 --> 00:09:04.720 that was the CEO of the company in. And to this 00:09:04.720 --> 00:09:07.000 day, he's one of my best friends. We're talking 00:09:07.000 --> 00:09:10.179 about 20 something years of a friendship that 00:09:10.179 --> 00:09:13.259 a very professional friendship, but. It's those 00:09:13.259 --> 00:09:16.000 people that you meet along the way, they mentor 00:09:16.000 --> 00:09:20.139 you. And then in return, I hope that you give 00:09:20.139 --> 00:09:22.740 back, right? So for me, the way I give back is 00:09:22.740 --> 00:09:25.460 to the community of women in events. I started 00:09:25.460 --> 00:09:27.980 an entire community of women in the events behind 00:09:27.980 --> 00:09:32.360 the scenes. The girls that want to get in elite 00:09:32.360 --> 00:09:35.139 tech positions, but they don't always know where 00:09:35.139 --> 00:09:37.379 to start or they don't know what to do or they 00:09:37.379 --> 00:09:39.539 don't know what they need to know or who they 00:09:39.539 --> 00:09:43.830 need to talk to. get the opportunities that a 00:09:43.830 --> 00:09:47.230 lot of guys get automatically just because of 00:09:47.230 --> 00:09:49.649 the bias that still exists. If you're a guy, 00:09:49.730 --> 00:09:54.269 you must know how to do this. Whereas someone 00:09:54.269 --> 00:09:57.509 that comes in as a young girl, she's going to 00:09:57.509 --> 00:09:59.509 be questioned. She's going to be tested. And 00:09:59.509 --> 00:10:01.590 then she's going to have to prove herself again 00:10:01.590 --> 00:10:06.950 and again. It's quite extensive, I want to tell 00:10:06.950 --> 00:10:10.269 you. I have a series of questions for you. You've 00:10:10.269 --> 00:10:13.559 answered. The majority of them just by speaking 00:10:13.559 --> 00:10:16.019 first, but I'm going to go through the numbers. 00:10:17.379 --> 00:10:20.440 Hey, I love conversations, Michael. I don't love 00:10:20.440 --> 00:10:24.860 Q &A. We can choose what makes more sense for 00:10:24.860 --> 00:10:28.440 us to delve more into. This is more conversational. 00:10:28.720 --> 00:10:32.019 When someone's professional world shifts overnight, 00:10:32.320 --> 00:10:36.460 what's the first mindset change they must make 00:10:36.460 --> 00:10:41.320 before rebuilding their network? So I think we 00:10:41.320 --> 00:10:46.200 all went through this, right, in 2020, when what 00:10:46.200 --> 00:10:50.879 happened, at least to my side of the industry, 00:10:51.039 --> 00:10:55.580 a lot of us, we have put our identity in what 00:10:55.580 --> 00:11:02.200 we do, right? And when events went away and we 00:11:02.200 --> 00:11:06.740 were faced with the question, who am I if I am? 00:11:07.179 --> 00:11:10.379 not able to do the things that I used to do this 00:11:10.379 --> 00:11:14.019 entire time, that kind of shakes your worldview. 00:11:14.639 --> 00:11:17.419 That kind of shakes you internally, right? Because 00:11:17.419 --> 00:11:21.620 you have to now face the demons, to face the 00:11:21.620 --> 00:11:25.659 insecurities, to face yourself in a way that... 00:11:26.409 --> 00:11:30.710 You are not willing to or able to because you 00:11:30.710 --> 00:11:32.789 are constantly busy. You're constantly running 00:11:32.789 --> 00:11:36.549 from one thing to the next. So I think what has 00:11:36.549 --> 00:11:41.769 helped me the most in that aspect is to be able 00:11:41.769 --> 00:11:47.590 to have a close network of people that could 00:11:47.590 --> 00:11:51.090 answer that for me when I couldn't, when I couldn't 00:11:51.090 --> 00:11:54.169 see. I couldn't see the trees because of the 00:11:54.169 --> 00:11:58.360 forest. I couldn't see beyond My reality, which 00:11:58.360 --> 00:12:02.059 was my whole professional foundation is gone. 00:12:02.340 --> 00:12:04.820 Now, what do I do? For me personally, that just 00:12:04.820 --> 00:12:07.820 meant reinventing, reinventing what I have done 00:12:07.820 --> 00:12:12.360 in one space, which was the live events and in 00:12:12.360 --> 00:12:15.480 -person events and transitioning that automatically 00:12:15.480 --> 00:12:18.899 and automatically in three days. I had one event 00:12:18.899 --> 00:12:21.879 that I had to take was 650 in person. We had 00:12:21.879 --> 00:12:25.759 to transition it to a virtual format. And we 00:12:25.759 --> 00:12:29.860 had to figure it out. And that's been my way 00:12:29.860 --> 00:12:33.399 of reinventing. Okay, I have the skills. I know 00:12:33.399 --> 00:12:37.769 how that applies in this area. I'm going to make 00:12:37.769 --> 00:12:41.210 it happen in a completely different space. We 00:12:41.210 --> 00:12:44.070 just need to figure out the framework, the model 00:12:44.070 --> 00:12:46.629 that would work, right? But that wasn't just 00:12:46.629 --> 00:12:49.649 me alone. It was a group of us putting our heads 00:12:49.649 --> 00:12:51.309 together. So that's where I think networking 00:12:51.309 --> 00:12:54.330 and relationship really matter because even though 00:12:54.330 --> 00:12:56.649 on the outside, you could look at it and be like, 00:12:56.649 --> 00:13:00.110 we were competitors. We were all like trying 00:13:00.110 --> 00:13:03.850 to get those contracts, those events. that would 00:13:03.850 --> 00:13:08.090 help us survive during a hard time. But what 00:13:08.090 --> 00:13:10.629 came out of that instead was a lot of collaboration. 00:13:11.110 --> 00:13:13.830 And there's this one term that I really liked 00:13:13.830 --> 00:13:18.820 during that time was called Basically, yes, there's 00:13:18.820 --> 00:13:21.159 still competition happening, but there's also 00:13:21.159 --> 00:13:24.000 a lot of collaboration that is happening at the 00:13:24.000 --> 00:13:27.000 same time, right? At the same time, how I know 00:13:27.000 --> 00:13:29.200 that you can do, say, virtual events really good, 00:13:29.320 --> 00:13:32.080 I know I can also do virtual events really good 00:13:32.080 --> 00:13:33.820 because we are two different people. We have 00:13:33.820 --> 00:13:36.220 a two different set of skills, but also we have 00:13:36.220 --> 00:13:41.320 a different take on how that works, right? That's 00:13:41.320 --> 00:13:45.220 kind of what came out of that hardship of figuring 00:13:45.220 --> 00:13:50.039 out how to turn this one lemon into lemonade, 00:13:50.340 --> 00:13:53.840 but not alone, but with others. Does that answer 00:13:53.840 --> 00:13:56.779 your question, Michael? Yeah. I put a line in 00:13:56.779 --> 00:14:00.139 the sand when it comes to the pandemic, right? 00:14:00.220 --> 00:14:03.820 Before the pandemic. networking, as you say, 00:14:03.960 --> 00:14:07.259 was all transactional. Everybody was super busy 00:14:07.259 --> 00:14:09.519 and networking and everything else. Once the 00:14:09.519 --> 00:14:13.019 pandemic happened, people had to stay inside. 00:14:13.240 --> 00:14:16.019 They had to do everything virtually. Like you 00:14:16.019 --> 00:14:19.120 said, in three days, you had to transform from 00:14:19.120 --> 00:14:22.960 this outspoken person to some sort of a person 00:14:22.960 --> 00:14:26.639 behind the camera. But one thing that we had 00:14:26.639 --> 00:14:30.179 to learn or relearn was as we started to come 00:14:30.179 --> 00:14:34.350 out of the pandemic, People weren't following 00:14:34.350 --> 00:14:37.429 it. They weren't getting back into the relationship 00:14:37.429 --> 00:14:41.990 side of the transaction. Things were all transactional 00:14:41.990 --> 00:14:45.169 beforehand. It's relationship oriented afterwards. 00:14:45.370 --> 00:14:49.129 And people forgot how to network. They forgot 00:14:49.129 --> 00:14:52.889 how to communicate. My goal after I'm doing all 00:14:52.889 --> 00:14:55.490 the workshops and keynotes and everything else 00:14:55.490 --> 00:14:59.710 is just telling people that. Telling people, 00:14:59.750 --> 00:15:02.769 look. I always say 20 -somethings in the audience, 00:15:03.330 --> 00:15:05.529 30 -somethings, they always raise their hands. 00:15:05.629 --> 00:15:08.929 Oh, yeah. I'm like, what I'm telling you is going 00:15:08.929 --> 00:15:11.929 to be completely Greek because nobody showed 00:15:11.929 --> 00:15:16.320 you. If I think about just the... The function 00:15:16.320 --> 00:15:20.220 of networking, if I were to dissect what is networking, 00:15:20.620 --> 00:15:22.740 I think for a lot of people, networking means 00:15:22.740 --> 00:15:26.980 collecting a bunch of contacts. But to me, it's 00:15:26.980 --> 00:15:29.940 building alignment. Because people do not stay 00:15:29.940 --> 00:15:32.779 connected to you just because you have this job 00:15:32.779 --> 00:15:36.139 title, just because you are impressive in one 00:15:36.139 --> 00:15:38.620 way or another. I think they stay because they 00:15:38.620 --> 00:15:41.879 feel part of what you're building if you're able 00:15:41.879 --> 00:15:48.399 to draw them in. way to lose someone is to just 00:15:48.399 --> 00:15:50.299 walking and trying to impress. At least for me, 00:15:50.340 --> 00:15:53.519 that does not work. That's actually such a turnoff. 00:15:54.320 --> 00:15:56.639 But then the fastest way on the flip side to 00:15:56.639 --> 00:15:59.879 build a network is to invite people into a shared 00:15:59.879 --> 00:16:02.519 direction. So I think what you're saying is that 00:16:02.519 --> 00:16:05.860 what the pandemic did, it brought us into this 00:16:05.860 --> 00:16:08.720 one shared direction for all of us to get out 00:16:08.720 --> 00:16:11.700 of it. And that was our shared vision. Eventually 00:16:11.700 --> 00:16:14.799 we did. And then the question that I have to 00:16:14.799 --> 00:16:19.279 you is, do you feel like our networking has gone? 00:16:19.629 --> 00:16:22.529 back to our old habits? Or do you feel like we're 00:16:22.529 --> 00:16:24.809 doing better because we had to go through it? 00:16:24.870 --> 00:16:27.850 Because sometimes I feel like we've forgotten 00:16:27.850 --> 00:16:31.590 a lot of the lessons we have learned during the 00:16:31.590 --> 00:16:34.809 pandemic. It's changed. It's changed. When I 00:16:34.809 --> 00:16:37.529 said it's more relational, I used to be in the 00:16:37.529 --> 00:16:40.590 mortgage industry. And when I went to a networking 00:16:40.590 --> 00:16:43.549 event, I came home with a shoebox filled with 00:16:43.549 --> 00:16:45.990 business cards. And I'd say, look how good I 00:16:45.990 --> 00:16:51.159 did when I did. horribly. Now, the way I teach 00:16:51.159 --> 00:16:53.840 people is that if you go to a three or four hour 00:16:53.840 --> 00:16:57.340 networking event, you come back with 15, maybe 00:16:57.340 --> 00:17:00.419 20 business cards, because those are the people 00:17:00.419 --> 00:17:03.440 that you spoke with, you had a relationship with, 00:17:03.500 --> 00:17:05.539 that you talked about something that you were 00:17:05.539 --> 00:17:09.380 familiar with. So if you spent 15, 20, 25 minutes 00:17:09.380 --> 00:17:14.339 with this person, you created that whole feeling. 00:17:14.660 --> 00:17:18.380 And I tell everybody, On the back of the person's 00:17:18.380 --> 00:17:20.940 business card, there's a whole series of events 00:17:20.940 --> 00:17:23.940 that has to go in before you get there. But once 00:17:23.940 --> 00:17:27.059 you get that card, you write down the date, the 00:17:27.059 --> 00:17:29.660 name of the event, and something you spoke about. 00:17:29.920 --> 00:17:32.960 So when you follow up with them, you can remember 00:17:32.960 --> 00:17:36.359 what you spoke about. But that's where it is. 00:17:36.440 --> 00:17:39.660 It's 15 to 20 business cards instead of 200. 00:17:40.759 --> 00:17:44.259 Absolutely. And then maybe out of those 15 business 00:17:44.259 --> 00:17:47.140 cards, you actually know something about those 00:17:47.140 --> 00:17:51.890 people. You make it personal. I think that's 00:17:51.890 --> 00:17:54.809 the biggest thing that people forget that for 00:17:54.809 --> 00:17:57.730 it to really grow beyond, hey, here's my business 00:17:57.730 --> 00:17:59.849 cards and thanks for your business card, which 00:17:59.849 --> 00:18:02.049 now it goes into shoebox that I'm not sure if 00:18:02.049 --> 00:18:04.450 I'm going to ever get back to ever again, is 00:18:04.450 --> 00:18:07.269 being able to come back to it and say, hey, Michael, 00:18:07.450 --> 00:18:11.750 I really liked when you told me X, Y, Z about 00:18:11.750 --> 00:18:14.430 Georgia and how you used to live in New York 00:18:14.430 --> 00:18:18.390 and how winter was back then. And now why is 00:18:18.390 --> 00:18:21.029 everybody talking? talking about a snow megadon 00:18:21.029 --> 00:18:24.289 when we've done survive war style exactly and 00:18:24.289 --> 00:18:27.630 that's that's half the value of putting the information 00:18:27.630 --> 00:18:30.009 on the back of the business card for when you 00:18:30.009 --> 00:18:33.130 follow up you start your follow -up because it 00:18:33.130 --> 00:18:37.730 remember now it takes between 8 and 15 touches 00:18:37.730 --> 00:18:42.710 before they even respond to you yeah so it's 00:18:42.710 --> 00:18:46.059 all in the follow -up so let me go on How do 00:18:46.059 --> 00:18:49.579 you decide who belongs in your next chapter when 00:18:49.579 --> 00:18:52.039 your old circle no longer fits where you're going? 00:18:52.710 --> 00:18:55.470 That's a hard one. So I have a story to tell. 00:18:55.569 --> 00:18:59.690 When I embraced this bodybuilding journey, because 00:18:59.690 --> 00:19:02.769 I really needed to personally, when you come 00:19:02.769 --> 00:19:06.569 to hit the wall really hard and realize, if I 00:19:06.569 --> 00:19:09.049 don't make some changes right now, something 00:19:09.049 --> 00:19:12.069 will break. So for me, that was going through 00:19:12.069 --> 00:19:15.089 another burnout cycle. And then, because again, 00:19:15.210 --> 00:19:18.490 I'm a workaholic. I sometimes try to say that 00:19:18.490 --> 00:19:21.250 I'm recovering, but I'm not. There's not much 00:19:21.250 --> 00:19:24.170 recovery from there. So I would work myself through 00:19:24.170 --> 00:19:27.009 this burnout cycle. Pandemic was one of those, 00:19:27.109 --> 00:19:29.369 like after the pandemic, as we were like building 00:19:29.369 --> 00:19:32.609 this plane with virtual events, I got really 00:19:32.609 --> 00:19:35.609 busy and I was doing like three virtual events 00:19:35.609 --> 00:19:38.210 a day after day. It was like nonstop. So the 00:19:38.210 --> 00:19:41.250 work was great because we're making money, we're 00:19:41.250 --> 00:19:44.390 surviving, but it was taxing. Like when your 00:19:44.390 --> 00:19:47.049 office becomes your workplace and there you have 00:19:47.049 --> 00:19:50.170 no boundaries between going to work and coming 00:19:50.170 --> 00:19:53.869 from work, that can be very dangerous. So bodybuilding 00:19:53.869 --> 00:19:57.329 came out of that. needing to remove myself from 00:19:57.329 --> 00:20:01.410 a space that now was like all involving in all 00:20:01.410 --> 00:20:04.009 areas of my life, personal and professional, 00:20:04.250 --> 00:20:07.769 and needing a space where I can go and not only 00:20:07.769 --> 00:20:11.470 work on my physical conditioning, but also on 00:20:11.470 --> 00:20:15.130 my mental capacity. I needed a place to break 00:20:15.130 --> 00:20:18.289 away from family, from work, from kids, so I 00:20:18.289 --> 00:20:22.450 can be by myself while also getting my system. 00:20:23.289 --> 00:20:25.170 moving and working because you're sitting on 00:20:25.170 --> 00:20:28.670 a chair for hours in the end. And when I did 00:20:28.670 --> 00:20:31.369 that and I started becoming successful at it 00:20:31.369 --> 00:20:33.990 in the sense that I started changing my body 00:20:33.990 --> 00:20:36.470 composition. I started looking completely different. 00:20:36.549 --> 00:20:39.170 I'm putting on muscle. I'm looking like pretty 00:20:39.170 --> 00:20:43.890 fit and shredded. My circle of friends started 00:20:43.890 --> 00:20:48.069 teening out. They started becoming insecure in 00:20:48.069 --> 00:20:51.589 themselves because I no longer looked like them. 00:20:52.400 --> 00:20:56.380 And I had to, and also our priorities were no 00:20:56.380 --> 00:20:59.039 longer the same. And this happened even like 00:20:59.039 --> 00:21:01.359 with my own husband, like for a little bit, we 00:21:01.359 --> 00:21:04.400 were going through this hard patch because he 00:21:04.400 --> 00:21:07.000 was still overweight and he was still struggling 00:21:07.000 --> 00:21:11.200 to figure out how he was, what health looked 00:21:11.200 --> 00:21:14.680 like. And he started becoming jealous because 00:21:14.680 --> 00:21:17.200 I look so much better. And like, now I have the 00:21:17.200 --> 00:21:19.480 hot wife, but the hot wife is really hot and 00:21:19.480 --> 00:21:22.640 I don't know what to do with it. And then eventually 00:21:22.640 --> 00:21:25.420 he had his own moment or revelation like, oh, 00:21:25.460 --> 00:21:27.819 but if I actually spend some time on my health, 00:21:27.960 --> 00:21:32.109 I could actually catch up with her. Thank God 00:21:32.109 --> 00:21:34.710 that he did that. He actually did not start bodybuilding 00:21:34.710 --> 00:21:36.950 with me. He's not the person to come into a gym 00:21:36.950 --> 00:21:40.089 and be indoors. He loves biking. He loves running. 00:21:40.289 --> 00:21:42.309 He's a marathon runner. And he started doing 00:21:42.309 --> 00:21:43.930 the things that he was passionate about, which 00:21:43.930 --> 00:21:47.710 completely changed then our dynamic and our priorities. 00:21:47.930 --> 00:21:50.990 So going back to friends and priorities, that's 00:21:50.990 --> 00:21:53.710 when I had to make a choice. There's people that 00:21:53.710 --> 00:21:56.230 I can no longer take with me in this future. 00:21:56.369 --> 00:22:00.069 And this future for me is healthspan, lifespan, 00:22:00.569 --> 00:22:02.420 fitness. spend, the things that I care about 00:22:02.420 --> 00:22:05.420 now are no longer the same things that I used 00:22:05.420 --> 00:22:07.880 to care in the past. I no longer care to go to 00:22:07.880 --> 00:22:10.259 a party. I no longer care to have a wine at the 00:22:10.259 --> 00:22:12.500 end of the day. I no longer care to do all these 00:22:12.500 --> 00:22:15.960 happy hours, things that they don't serve me 00:22:15.960 --> 00:22:18.619 anymore. So that was a hard call because now 00:22:18.619 --> 00:22:20.420 I had to look at this group of friends that were 00:22:20.420 --> 00:22:24.059 dear to me and say, not necessarily say to their 00:22:24.059 --> 00:22:28.019 face, but create the distance to choose only 00:22:28.019 --> 00:22:30.559 the ones that were just as mindful about their 00:22:30.559 --> 00:22:35.440 health as I was. So we can move together in step 00:22:35.440 --> 00:22:39.240 versus these other people. They're like. almost 00:22:39.240 --> 00:22:42.019 shaming me into why do you spend so many hours 00:22:42.019 --> 00:22:45.599 at the gym? Like, why do you have to look any 00:22:45.599 --> 00:22:47.779 better than what you already look? Like all those 00:22:47.779 --> 00:22:51.420 things that are toxic and that just don't serve 00:22:51.420 --> 00:22:56.039 you. So that needed a decision and I needed to 00:22:56.039 --> 00:22:58.180 make that. And even though I still see those 00:22:58.180 --> 00:23:01.059 friends from time to time, I no longer spend 00:23:01.059 --> 00:23:05.220 my time like I used to in that cycle. Because 00:23:05.220 --> 00:23:07.500 what do they say about friendships? Don't they 00:23:07.500 --> 00:23:10.900 say that, Whom you surround yourself with, that's 00:23:10.900 --> 00:23:13.759 who you become. I already had a different vision 00:23:13.759 --> 00:23:17.279 of who I wanted to become. And the people around 00:23:17.279 --> 00:23:21.390 me did not serve that anymore. Absolutely. Absolutely. 00:23:21.630 --> 00:23:24.109 I couldn't agree with you more. And when you 00:23:24.109 --> 00:23:27.269 change your mindset, it's not that they had to 00:23:27.269 --> 00:23:29.849 change theirs completely, but if they didn't 00:23:29.849 --> 00:23:33.230 accept the way you changed, then really you're 00:23:33.230 --> 00:23:35.250 going to leave them behind because there's no 00:23:35.250 --> 00:23:38.750 place for them. And how good of a friend were 00:23:38.750 --> 00:23:42.430 they really if they wouldn't adapt? So you weigh 00:23:42.430 --> 00:23:45.400 all that together. That's very good. And sometimes 00:23:45.400 --> 00:23:47.859 it's funny now because years later, as they kept 00:23:47.859 --> 00:23:50.059 seeing me improving and keeping at it, because 00:23:50.059 --> 00:23:52.940 it wasn't going to be just a season for me, they're 00:23:52.940 --> 00:23:57.279 snapping now into it themselves. In this cycle 00:23:57.279 --> 00:24:02.750 of life, I can see reconnecting eventually. at 00:24:02.750 --> 00:24:05.109 the same level that we used to be if they're 00:24:05.109 --> 00:24:08.369 just as focused as me on the things that matter 00:24:08.369 --> 00:24:12.329 on health spend like i said and longevity and 00:24:12.329 --> 00:24:16.730 putting in the time so there is redemption it's 00:24:16.730 --> 00:24:20.630 just sometimes the timing can be off and for 00:24:20.630 --> 00:24:25.059 me that was true Their mindset where they would 00:24:25.059 --> 00:24:28.279 go to a bar, they go to after hours and they 00:24:28.279 --> 00:24:31.920 go to whatever, their mind will shift and say, 00:24:31.960 --> 00:24:34.079 you know what? Maybe I'll spend that extra time 00:24:34.079 --> 00:24:37.420 in the gym and we'll spend time together doing 00:24:37.420 --> 00:24:40.339 that. You could still have a great time, but 00:24:40.339 --> 00:24:44.680 your mind shifted. And if they will shift even. 00:24:45.319 --> 00:24:49.359 half the way with yours then you can be friends 00:24:49.359 --> 00:24:53.200 again but if they're going to hold you back then 00:24:53.200 --> 00:24:55.500 you wrote a they really weren't friends to begin 00:24:55.500 --> 00:25:01.220 with and b you don't want them anymore yeah in 00:25:01.220 --> 00:25:04.700 your experience how does personal discipline 00:25:04.700 --> 00:25:09.460 show up in the quality of relationships people 00:25:09.460 --> 00:25:13.980 attract Yeah, I had to learn this the hard way 00:25:13.980 --> 00:25:18.579 again. I kind of tend to learn lessons the hard 00:25:18.579 --> 00:25:24.279 way. This for me took the form of emotional relationships. 00:25:24.619 --> 00:25:28.880 I had this one emotional relationship that I 00:25:28.880 --> 00:25:32.720 struggled with the most because I really attach 00:25:32.720 --> 00:25:36.680 as a friend to someone that was not ready to 00:25:36.680 --> 00:25:39.539 have the same level of attachment. And I did 00:25:39.539 --> 00:25:44.220 not have the discipline. to remove myself and 00:25:44.220 --> 00:25:47.420 let go. And I think that was actually the start 00:25:47.420 --> 00:25:51.559 of me needing to work on something else that 00:25:51.559 --> 00:25:54.319 I felt like I had control over. If my emotional 00:25:54.319 --> 00:25:57.440 life was like just out of control because I couldn't 00:25:57.440 --> 00:26:01.440 figure out how to get a hold of it and make it 00:26:01.440 --> 00:26:04.539 work for me instead of against me, I figured, 00:26:04.599 --> 00:26:06.680 okay, I'm going to work on my physical health 00:26:06.680 --> 00:26:10.089 because then At least I have control over that, 00:26:10.210 --> 00:26:12.609 like what I can do with my body and what my body 00:26:12.609 --> 00:26:16.650 can do. So to build the discipline for that to 00:26:16.650 --> 00:26:20.680 be true. It can take different forms and it can 00:26:20.680 --> 00:26:24.319 take a journey and a longer or a shorter journey, 00:26:24.440 --> 00:26:27.460 depending of where you are, like depending where 00:26:27.460 --> 00:26:29.539 you are in your life. For the longest time, I've 00:26:29.539 --> 00:26:32.440 always, for me, the emotional aspect of myself 00:26:32.440 --> 00:26:35.900 was something that I didn't want to deal with. 00:26:36.059 --> 00:26:38.859 I'm someone that's very hardheaded. When I put 00:26:38.859 --> 00:26:41.859 something in my mind, I go and get it done. And 00:26:41.859 --> 00:26:46.099 there's very little outside influences to... 00:26:46.700 --> 00:26:49.480 stop me from accomplishing what I put my mind 00:26:49.480 --> 00:26:53.119 to do which was like I have this very strong 00:26:53.119 --> 00:26:55.880 will to do to get things done and emotionally 00:26:55.880 --> 00:26:59.980 if something didn't align with my drive I would 00:26:59.980 --> 00:27:02.140 just throw it under the rug it's not important 00:27:02.140 --> 00:27:03.920 I'm not gonna deal with it it's not necessarily 00:27:03.920 --> 00:27:06.859 for me to deal with it which kind of like builds 00:27:06.859 --> 00:27:09.220 right it builds and it builds until at one point 00:27:09.220 --> 00:27:11.539 you're like this can't build anymore there's 00:27:11.539 --> 00:27:15.799 no more room in this tank to build and it's gonna 00:27:16.119 --> 00:27:20.799 come out. So I needed to figure out how to take 00:27:21.480 --> 00:27:24.019 control over that, how to be more disciplined 00:27:24.019 --> 00:27:27.220 with my emotions, the same way how I'm disciplined 00:27:27.220 --> 00:27:30.500 with my body, how I'm disciplined with my routine, 00:27:30.720 --> 00:27:34.279 with my calendar, with my relationships. So it 00:27:34.279 --> 00:27:38.059 was a hard lesson and it took a few years for 00:27:38.059 --> 00:27:40.140 me to go through that whole process. Obviously, 00:27:40.140 --> 00:27:43.180 it took some help with the therapist, going back 00:27:43.180 --> 00:27:46.140 into your whole history. I didn't realize I had 00:27:46.140 --> 00:27:48.720 all this childhood drama that I needed to deal 00:27:48.720 --> 00:27:50.920 with. But I think at the end of the day, day 00:27:50.920 --> 00:27:54.420 it comes down to needing to work on the things 00:27:54.420 --> 00:27:57.460 that you keep avoiding to work on thinking that 00:27:57.460 --> 00:28:01.359 they don't matter until they really do because 00:28:01.359 --> 00:28:04.660 at the end of the day discipline is just promising 00:28:04.660 --> 00:28:07.240 is just keeping the promises you made to yourself 00:28:07.240 --> 00:28:10.099 whatever that looks like in which area of your 00:28:10.099 --> 00:28:14.019 life and it was important to me to be disciplined 00:28:14.019 --> 00:28:17.140 in all aspects of my life but I couldn't handle 00:28:17.140 --> 00:28:21.029 it in some areas because there's too much work 00:28:21.029 --> 00:28:23.130 that needed to be done in the first place before 00:28:23.130 --> 00:28:26.450 I got to the level where I was ready for discipline 00:28:26.450 --> 00:28:29.369 to apply on top. It's like raising a kid that 00:28:29.369 --> 00:28:32.849 you're trying to discipline, but there's so much 00:28:32.849 --> 00:28:36.730 other things that get in the way of that because 00:28:36.730 --> 00:28:38.589 they're growing, because they're emotional, because 00:28:38.589 --> 00:28:41.109 they have resentment, because they think it's 00:28:41.109 --> 00:28:43.630 unfair, because all of those things that are... 00:28:44.269 --> 00:28:46.829 packaged and then when you're trying to discipline 00:28:46.829 --> 00:28:49.009 it's just one thing that you're barely touching 00:28:49.009 --> 00:28:51.410 the surface but you're not even getting to the 00:28:51.410 --> 00:28:55.950 root of the problem yes very good very good you're 00:28:55.950 --> 00:29:01.349 fit for events framework yes it's structure and 00:29:01.349 --> 00:29:05.069 consistency to relationships yeah what shifts 00:29:05.069 --> 00:29:09.329 when networking stops being casual and starts 00:29:09.329 --> 00:29:13.769 being intentional I think the biggest for me 00:29:13.769 --> 00:29:20.910 has been presence. Spending intentional time 00:29:20.910 --> 00:29:26.109 with the people that I want to be closer with 00:29:26.109 --> 00:29:31.230 and the people that I wanted to grow with versus 00:29:31.230 --> 00:29:35.150 just spreading myself in small pieces here and 00:29:35.150 --> 00:29:39.140 there, everywhere. And presence means putting 00:29:39.140 --> 00:29:42.539 aside sometimes your own schedule, your own priorities, 00:29:42.539 --> 00:29:46.240 just to have a conversation with someone, just 00:29:46.240 --> 00:29:51.920 to learn more about them, just to see where they're 00:29:51.920 --> 00:29:55.579 coming from. So you understand what their challenges 00:29:55.579 --> 00:29:59.240 are, how you could help them in return. And then 00:29:59.240 --> 00:30:04.200 still on the same token, I feel like... None 00:30:04.200 --> 00:30:08.119 of this really works if there's so much, like 00:30:08.119 --> 00:30:10.539 conferences are so prevalent where there's so 00:30:10.539 --> 00:30:13.859 much cognitive load and so much context switching 00:30:13.859 --> 00:30:16.079 that happens all the time. So your nervous system 00:30:16.079 --> 00:30:19.859 is constantly attacked. It's just basically wrecked. 00:30:19.859 --> 00:30:22.440 You go to an event and you come back and you 00:30:22.440 --> 00:30:24.920 feel like you need rest. You need to rest from 00:30:24.920 --> 00:30:26.680 the event, even though that was supposed to be 00:30:26.680 --> 00:30:30.279 something that was a recreational, not just something 00:30:30.279 --> 00:30:33.609 that you worked. So one of the realization that 00:30:33.609 --> 00:30:36.730 I had was that, one, there is those challenges 00:30:36.730 --> 00:30:38.869 that we all have that we need to be aware of. 00:30:38.930 --> 00:30:42.670 Two, you can communicate well and clearly when 00:30:42.670 --> 00:30:45.910 you're already tired, exhausted and fried. And 00:30:45.910 --> 00:30:48.369 you can be present if all of those things are 00:30:48.369 --> 00:30:52.559 true. The Fit for Events framework is more about 00:30:52.559 --> 00:30:56.440 how do we look at our mental, our emotional, 00:30:56.640 --> 00:31:00.420 our physical, and our spiritual capacity in a 00:31:00.420 --> 00:31:04.279 way that supports our leadership functions, in 00:31:04.279 --> 00:31:07.420 a way that supports our presence with other people. 00:31:07.460 --> 00:31:11.440 Not just self -care for myself, but capacity 00:31:11.440 --> 00:31:15.599 for others too. In so many ways, high performance 00:31:15.599 --> 00:31:20.000 with regulation that can help you achieve your 00:31:20.000 --> 00:31:24.299 goals in whatever area or space that you're in. 00:31:24.400 --> 00:31:28.400 And the way we do that is by turning well -being 00:31:28.400 --> 00:31:31.380 into a system instead of just a phase. Oh, I'm 00:31:31.380 --> 00:31:34.039 just going to lose 20 pounds. No, that's not 00:31:34.039 --> 00:31:36.839 what we do. That's not what we want to do, right? 00:31:37.720 --> 00:31:40.220 It's not just something that you do now. It's 00:31:40.220 --> 00:31:42.960 something that you maintain. And it's like this 00:31:42.960 --> 00:31:46.059 lifestyle that you sign up for because you know 00:31:46.059 --> 00:31:48.700 it's good for you. One of the ways in which it's 00:31:48.700 --> 00:31:50.359 important for me to look at this, especially 00:31:50.359 --> 00:31:52.839 when I have those conversations, is let's look 00:31:52.839 --> 00:31:58.960 at what is your minimum standard on... a very 00:31:58.960 --> 00:32:01.700 busy day, not your best day standard, right? 00:32:01.819 --> 00:32:05.240 Your worst day standard, the day when you are 00:32:05.240 --> 00:32:07.640 traveling for events, the day when you are working 00:32:07.640 --> 00:32:10.019 nonstop, the day when you're overbooked, the 00:32:10.019 --> 00:32:13.450 day when you're mentally wiped. decide in advance 00:32:13.450 --> 00:32:17.869 what still counts as a win for you. That could 00:32:17.869 --> 00:32:20.369 be 20 minutes of walking around the block or, 00:32:20.390 --> 00:32:23.390 I don't know, hitting your protein goal or not 00:32:23.390 --> 00:32:27.029 skipping lunch or breakfast or something, right? 00:32:27.230 --> 00:32:30.890 Because our systems survive on minimums, not 00:32:30.890 --> 00:32:34.430 just on motivation. And then... Pre -plan in 00:32:34.430 --> 00:32:37.910 advance, relentlessly. I have gone through several 00:32:37.910 --> 00:32:41.670 prep, bodybuilding prep phases while I was in 00:32:41.670 --> 00:32:45.049 the busiest season for events. And without pre 00:32:45.049 --> 00:32:47.490 -planning, that would have all failed. That would 00:32:47.490 --> 00:32:51.210 have not worked. So well -being does not survive 00:32:51.210 --> 00:32:53.789 improvisation. Oh, I'm going to figure it out. 00:32:53.890 --> 00:32:56.670 No, when you're hungry and you have to eat and 00:32:56.670 --> 00:32:58.809 you have to stay within your macros and within 00:32:58.809 --> 00:33:02.650 your goals, you don't make shit up like you need. 00:33:02.799 --> 00:33:05.880 to know in advance what are your options so you 00:33:05.880 --> 00:33:07.839 don't stray off you don't fall off the wagon 00:33:07.839 --> 00:33:10.359 so for example when you're traveling you already 00:33:10.359 --> 00:33:12.099 know that you're going to stay at this hotel 00:33:12.099 --> 00:33:14.799 you already know where your meals are coming 00:33:14.799 --> 00:33:17.799 from you already know what that gym looks like 00:33:17.799 --> 00:33:20.980 plan in advance where are you going to wait like 00:33:20.980 --> 00:33:24.019 I check out those restaurants around the area 00:33:24.019 --> 00:33:27.599 where I'll be to see their menu doesn't fit my 00:33:27.599 --> 00:33:30.140 goals. And I will go to the ones that do. So 00:33:30.140 --> 00:33:32.319 all of the, or if I feel like it does not, then 00:33:32.319 --> 00:33:35.319 I always pre -plan meals with me. I bring stuff 00:33:35.319 --> 00:33:38.259 with me. So I have in the case where I might 00:33:38.259 --> 00:33:41.339 be on this threshold floor for 10 hours and there's 00:33:41.339 --> 00:33:43.940 nothing around this convention center where I 00:33:43.940 --> 00:33:46.259 can just go and grab something. And instead of 00:33:46.259 --> 00:33:48.579 just falling prey to the pizza that was delivered, 00:33:48.680 --> 00:33:52.259 because for some that's acceptable form of nutrition, 00:33:52.519 --> 00:33:55.599 I would rather have something with me. ready 00:33:55.599 --> 00:33:58.940 to go, right? Because that not only removes the 00:33:58.940 --> 00:34:02.339 decision fatigue, but also protects that minimum 00:34:02.339 --> 00:34:05.859 standard that you set for yourself, no matter 00:34:05.859 --> 00:34:08.340 where your environment is and how it changes. 00:34:08.480 --> 00:34:12.269 And then thirdly is the mindset. that you spoke 00:34:12.269 --> 00:34:14.829 of right in the beginning. That's a non -negotiable. 00:34:15.030 --> 00:34:18.130 And I think a lot of people, they just keep negotiating 00:34:18.130 --> 00:34:20.829 with themselves because they're like, oh, I'm 00:34:20.829 --> 00:34:24.849 too tired. Oh, I don't feel like doing this today. 00:34:25.090 --> 00:34:27.610 And then they break some promises that they've 00:34:27.610 --> 00:34:30.510 made to themselves that if I go to this event, 00:34:30.610 --> 00:34:32.530 I'm going to work out every single day, or I'm 00:34:32.530 --> 00:34:36.289 going to have a walk around the hotel every single 00:34:36.289 --> 00:34:38.449 day, or I'm going to do a yoga, whatever it is 00:34:38.449 --> 00:34:41.610 that you want to do, right? For me, every kept 00:34:41.610 --> 00:34:45.849 promise to myself reinforces my identity. And 00:34:45.849 --> 00:34:48.090 it's not about just being extreme and strict 00:34:48.090 --> 00:34:51.070 with myself. It's about being honest. Because 00:34:51.070 --> 00:34:54.929 all the systems that I build to support me, they're 00:34:54.929 --> 00:34:58.590 built on self -trust. And when that cracks, I 00:34:58.590 --> 00:35:01.090 think everything else follows. If I can trust 00:35:01.090 --> 00:35:04.530 myself to do what I said that I would, then I 00:35:04.530 --> 00:35:06.730 don't trust myself to do a bunch of other things. 00:35:09.120 --> 00:35:12.760 Yes. Yes and yes. I agree with every point that 00:35:12.760 --> 00:35:18.980 you made. And I can really continue this podcast 00:35:18.980 --> 00:35:21.920 on for another two hours. Yes. I have about 20 00:35:21.920 --> 00:35:24.119 questions just for you. But let's bring this 00:35:24.119 --> 00:35:28.239 podcast full circle. If someone wanted to rebuild 00:35:28.239 --> 00:35:32.340 a profitable, reliable network in the next 90 00:35:32.340 --> 00:35:38.190 days, what's one habit? You would create the, 00:35:38.210 --> 00:35:40.630 that would create the biggest ripple effect. 00:35:41.190 --> 00:35:45.969 I think one, you're probably the most experts 00:35:45.969 --> 00:35:48.969 to answer this, but if I were to just weigh in 00:35:48.969 --> 00:35:51.989 one thought that came to me as you were asking 00:35:51.989 --> 00:35:56.809 the question is when you talk to someone, I never 00:35:56.809 --> 00:36:03.170 pitch myself. My job is not to pitch. My job 00:36:03.170 --> 00:36:07.190 is to have a conversation with them where there 00:36:07.190 --> 00:36:10.909 is this one quiet question in the back of their 00:36:10.909 --> 00:36:14.670 mind, in their nervous system, which is asking, 00:36:14.789 --> 00:36:19.329 do I belong in this relationship? And my job 00:36:19.329 --> 00:36:22.989 is to make sure that they do, because if that 00:36:22.989 --> 00:36:26.349 is true, then everything else from there, it's 00:36:26.349 --> 00:36:29.780 easier. So everything else could be working together 00:36:29.780 --> 00:36:33.139 on a project. Everything else could be partnering 00:36:33.139 --> 00:36:36.179 on some event. Everything else could be selling 00:36:36.179 --> 00:36:39.340 business services and whatnot, right? Everything 00:36:39.340 --> 00:36:42.159 else could be me being invited to speak at their 00:36:42.159 --> 00:36:46.300 event next time we meet again, right? I am able 00:36:46.300 --> 00:36:49.579 to provide a level of comfort where they know 00:36:49.579 --> 00:36:54.860 that I welcome them and I make them feel like 00:36:54.860 --> 00:36:57.099 they belong. I think everything else is so much 00:36:57.099 --> 00:37:00.019 easier. I didn't understand this for a very long 00:37:00.019 --> 00:37:03.199 time and it took me a while to grow to really 00:37:03.199 --> 00:37:06.239 understand what that means. Because at the end 00:37:06.239 --> 00:37:08.400 of the day, like you turn the mirror, right? 00:37:08.809 --> 00:37:11.349 And you look in the mirror and say, why would 00:37:11.349 --> 00:37:15.690 I want from this? Why would make me feel comfortable 00:37:15.690 --> 00:37:19.449 to want to work with this person again? And that's, 00:37:19.449 --> 00:37:21.889 if you can answer that, then I think it's easier 00:37:21.889 --> 00:37:25.090 to then apply it to your network, to your relationship. 00:37:25.309 --> 00:37:28.369 Because again, going back to one of those famous 00:37:28.369 --> 00:37:32.530 cringy phrases, they are very true. Your network 00:37:32.530 --> 00:37:35.050 is your net worth at the end of the day. And 00:37:35.050 --> 00:37:39.829 for me, nothing has been more. more true than 00:37:39.829 --> 00:37:43.389 growing my LinkedIn network, but not just growing 00:37:43.389 --> 00:37:46.510 for the sake of growing a number, but really 00:37:46.510 --> 00:37:49.789 having relationships with those people as in 00:37:49.789 --> 00:37:53.929 I know who I can go to because I know what they 00:37:53.929 --> 00:37:57.329 do, I know what they care about, and I know what 00:37:57.329 --> 00:38:01.670 are their forte, right? So I don't care to accept 00:38:01.670 --> 00:38:04.469 people in my network just because they're there. 00:38:04.570 --> 00:38:07.690 I care to accept them because we have a conversation. 00:38:07.690 --> 00:38:11.989 And I think that's probably where that belonging 00:38:11.989 --> 00:38:16.929 comes into play the most. Again, you touched 00:38:16.929 --> 00:38:21.250 on so many points. I happen to have eight digital 00:38:21.250 --> 00:38:24.769 courses on my website. I knew you were the expert, 00:38:24.889 --> 00:38:30.170 Michael. My main course is called Network to 00:38:30.170 --> 00:38:34.369 Net Worth. That is the main course. And as soon 00:38:34.369 --> 00:38:37.269 as you said it, I was like. Oh my God, there 00:38:37.269 --> 00:38:42.829 it is. Have I studied your courses? But go on, 00:38:42.849 --> 00:38:44.550 just take a look at what I have because they're 00:38:44.550 --> 00:38:49.389 really good. I can have a whole section just 00:38:49.389 --> 00:38:51.190 on each of the things that you've touched upon. 00:38:51.449 --> 00:38:55.269 But anyway, but if somebody wanted to contact 00:38:55.269 --> 00:38:59.409 you, wanted to hire you, or just discuss something 00:38:59.409 --> 00:39:02.309 with you, where's the best place to find you? 00:39:03.150 --> 00:39:06.909 As I mentioned, LinkedIn is the best place I 00:39:06.909 --> 00:39:10.269 would ask people to connect with me because I 00:39:10.269 --> 00:39:12.269 think it's a safe environment. But also I share 00:39:12.269 --> 00:39:14.989 a lot of things that I'm passionate about, including 00:39:14.989 --> 00:39:18.269 AI news, including the podcast, including bodybuilding. 00:39:18.389 --> 00:39:22.449 I have several pillars that I distribute this 00:39:22.449 --> 00:39:26.269 content in, and that's the best place. Obviously, 00:39:26.309 --> 00:39:28.469 I have websites and emails and all that, but 00:39:28.469 --> 00:39:31.469 I think that's one platform that we can all connect 00:39:31.469 --> 00:39:35.309 on and feel like it. It's safe enough. That's 00:39:35.309 --> 00:39:38.510 it. Perfect. That's what intentional networking 00:39:38.510 --> 00:39:42.829 sounds like. Clear direction, consistent action, 00:39:42.889 --> 00:39:46.550 and relationships built with purpose. If today's 00:39:46.550 --> 00:39:48.889 episode got you thinking about who's in your 00:39:48.889 --> 00:39:52.130 circle, how you follow up, or how you show up 00:39:52.130 --> 00:39:55.369 as a leader in your own network, take one step 00:39:55.369 --> 00:39:59.170 today, act on it. Strong connections are built 00:39:59.170 --> 00:40:02.960 through consistency, not intentions. If you found 00:40:02.960 --> 00:40:05.619 value here, share this episode with somebody 00:40:05.619 --> 00:40:08.639 who's rebuilding, resetting, or ready for their 00:40:08.639 --> 00:40:11.699 next chapter. Make sure you subscribe to Networking 00:40:11.699 --> 00:40:14.460 Unleashed, building profitable connections so 00:40:14.460 --> 00:40:17.079 you don't miss the conversations that help you 00:40:17.079 --> 00:40:20.170 connect smarter and grow stronger. And if you're 00:40:20.170 --> 00:40:22.349 ready to sharpen your networking skills even 00:40:22.349 --> 00:40:26.469 further, visit foreman .com to see how I work 00:40:26.469 --> 00:40:29.010 with professionals, teams, and organizations. 00:40:29.510 --> 00:40:32.989 So until next time, lead yourself well, follow 00:40:32.989 --> 00:40:36.289 up with purpose, and build connections that work 00:40:36.289 --> 00:40:40.630 as hard as you do. Anka, I can't begin to thank 00:40:40.630 --> 00:40:43.369 you enough for the time that you spent with us. 00:40:43.449 --> 00:40:46.269 And thank you for coming on the podcast. Thank 00:40:46.269 --> 00:40:54.360 you for having me. Well, hold on, folks. Don't 00:40:54.360 --> 00:40:57.780 go anywhere. Let's hear from our sponsors. David 00:40:57.780 --> 00:41:01.539 Neal, co -founder Revved Up Kids. Revved Up Kids 00:41:01.539 --> 00:41:04.380 is on a mission to protect children and teens 00:41:04.380 --> 00:41:08.059 from sexual abuse, exploitation, and trafficking. 00:41:08.340 --> 00:41:11.519 They provide prevention training programs for 00:41:11.519 --> 00:41:15.059 children, teens, and adults. To learn more, go 00:41:15.059 --> 00:41:19.440 to revvedupkids .org. Henry Kaplan, Century 21. 00:41:19.960 --> 00:41:22.179 When it comes to making the biggest financial 00:41:22.179 --> 00:41:25.139 decision of your life, leave it in the hands 00:41:25.139 --> 00:41:28.440 of a proven professional, Henry Kaplan. Henry 00:41:28.440 --> 00:41:31.639 is a global real estate agent with Century 21, 00:41:31.840 --> 00:41:35.800 celebrating his 41st year in business. No matter 00:41:35.800 --> 00:41:38.500 where you're moving, Henry has the right connections 00:41:38.500 --> 00:41:45.480 for you. You can contact Henry at 561 -427 -4888. 00:41:46.179 --> 00:41:48.960 A huge thank you to our guests for sharing such 00:41:49.579 --> 00:41:52.880 insights today. And of course, a big shout out 00:41:52.880 --> 00:41:56.179 to you, our amazing listeners, for tuning in 00:41:56.179 --> 00:41:59.099 and spending your time with us. If you're interested 00:41:59.099 --> 00:42:02.440 in my digital courses, being coached or having 00:42:02.440 --> 00:42:05.559 me come and talk to your company, just go to 00:42:05.559 --> 00:42:08.800 Michael and fill out the request form. Remember, 00:42:09.119 --> 00:42:12.440 networking isn't about being perfect. It's about 00:42:12.440 --> 00:42:15.360 being present. So take what you've learned today, 00:42:15.539 --> 00:42:18.159 get out there and make some meaningful connections. 00:42:18.889 --> 00:42:21.809 If you've enjoyed this episode, please don't 00:42:21.809 --> 00:42:25.150 forget to subscribe. Leave us a review and share 00:42:25.150 --> 00:42:27.349 it with someone who could use a little networking 00:42:27.349 --> 00:42:30.349 inspiration. Let's keep the conversation going. 00:42:30.530 --> 00:42:35.070 You can find me on Apple, Spotify, Pandora, YouTube, 00:42:35.230 --> 00:42:39.869 or my website, foreman .com slash podcasts.