WEBVTT 00:00:14.990 --> 00:00:18.129 Welcome back to Networking Unleashed, Building 00:00:18.129 --> 00:00:21.370 Profitable Connections. I'm your host, Michael 00:00:21.370 --> 00:00:24.390 Foreman, and today we're diving deep into one 00:00:24.390 --> 00:00:27.730 of the most overlooked truths in business networking. 00:00:28.170 --> 00:00:32.049 You can't connect profitably if you can't connect 00:00:32.049 --> 00:00:36.329 authentically. In a world of constant noise, 00:00:36.609 --> 00:00:40.310 digital distractions, and AI generated everything, 00:00:40.549 --> 00:00:43.710 how do we keep our humanity front and center? 00:00:44.590 --> 00:00:49.130 How do we actually listen, not just hear, to 00:00:49.130 --> 00:00:51.789 people who are trying to build relationships 00:00:51.789 --> 00:00:55.969 with? My guest today has built his work around 00:00:55.969 --> 00:01:00.450 identity, authenticity, and empathy, the real 00:01:00.450 --> 00:01:03.810 foundations of connection. If you've ever felt 00:01:03.810 --> 00:01:06.969 like networking has become the mechanical or 00:01:06.969 --> 00:01:10.730 shallow, this conversation is your reset button. 00:01:10.890 --> 00:01:14.819 So buckle up, buttercup. This one's about stripping 00:01:14.819 --> 00:01:17.560 away the filters, turning it to what matters, 00:01:17.719 --> 00:01:21.060 and rediscovering what it means to truly connect. 00:01:21.420 --> 00:01:25.040 I would like to introduce my guest today to my 00:01:25.040 --> 00:01:29.099 wonderful podcast, Andrew Hinkleman, and he is 00:01:29.099 --> 00:01:33.340 a professional in everything I just said. Andrew, 00:01:33.480 --> 00:01:35.840 welcome to the podcast, and why don't you give 00:01:35.840 --> 00:01:38.390 us a little bit about your background? Thank 00:01:38.390 --> 00:01:40.670 you, Michael. Really appreciate you having me. 00:01:40.870 --> 00:01:45.810 I am honored to be here, and I would love to 00:01:45.810 --> 00:01:49.870 make sure to impart a few tips and tricks along 00:01:49.870 --> 00:01:54.269 the way. But first, my background. I came up 00:01:54.269 --> 00:01:59.090 through IT organizations, driving technical teams, 00:01:59.349 --> 00:02:01.849 went to school at University of Washington out 00:02:01.849 --> 00:02:05.310 here in Seattle, and did my engineering degree 00:02:05.310 --> 00:02:09.039 and master's degree there. I wound up at Microsoft 00:02:09.039 --> 00:02:12.539 for a while and for a long time, that was, that's 00:02:12.539 --> 00:02:15.879 a tradition here. It's become Amazon lately, 00:02:16.039 --> 00:02:18.460 but it used to be a tradition to at least do 00:02:18.460 --> 00:02:21.699 a little bit of time at Microsoft. Done a lot 00:02:21.699 --> 00:02:25.939 of consulting work. I found myself a little bit 00:02:25.939 --> 00:02:29.180 at a transition, wondering what was next for 00:02:29.180 --> 00:02:33.120 me. I got into more and more technical roles 00:02:33.120 --> 00:02:36.099 along the way, more leadership roles, and eventually 00:02:36.099 --> 00:02:39.560 landed at a financial services company where 00:02:39.560 --> 00:02:42.500 I worked my way into a chief technology officer 00:02:42.500 --> 00:02:47.939 role. This was a global asset manager. offices 00:02:47.939 --> 00:02:53.479 in London, Singapore, Sydney, and had about 150 00:02:53.479 --> 00:02:57.240 people in my organization at the time, and really 00:02:57.240 --> 00:03:01.639 found that it was the people along the way, watching 00:03:01.639 --> 00:03:05.419 people develop, helping people develop, and really 00:03:05.419 --> 00:03:07.680 getting them to the point where they were able 00:03:07.680 --> 00:03:10.580 to blossom and shine in their careers. And those 00:03:10.580 --> 00:03:13.159 were the things that really moved me, not all 00:03:13.159 --> 00:03:17.229 the meetings and the IT governance. and the bureaucracy 00:03:17.229 --> 00:03:20.830 and all those kinds of things. Wound up burning 00:03:20.830 --> 00:03:24.530 out, getting really tired of the routine and 00:03:24.530 --> 00:03:28.490 went into an executive coaching program. So today 00:03:28.490 --> 00:03:30.750 I'm six years into building my executive coaching 00:03:30.750 --> 00:03:35.770 business. I primarily work with tech CEOs, chief 00:03:35.770 --> 00:03:39.270 technology officers, a lot of very senior leaders 00:03:39.270 --> 00:03:42.879 and founders. on building their human skills. 00:03:43.060 --> 00:03:45.319 And by that, how do they relate to people? How 00:03:45.319 --> 00:03:49.759 do they really, truly connect with others? Sounds 00:03:49.759 --> 00:03:53.060 great. That's quite an extensive background. 00:03:53.659 --> 00:03:57.080 Okay. So listen, I've developed about 10 questions 00:03:57.080 --> 00:04:00.180 and I'm going to hit you with them. If we go 00:04:00.180 --> 00:04:02.479 off script a little bit, that's all right. Feel 00:04:02.479 --> 00:04:04.599 free. This is just a conversation between you 00:04:04.599 --> 00:04:09.680 and me. Great. In a world where everyone is curating 00:04:09.680 --> 00:04:13.199 their online identity, how can professionals 00:04:13.199 --> 00:04:17.600 reconnect with who they really are and lead with 00:04:17.600 --> 00:04:21.819 authenticity when networking? It's a great question. 00:04:22.000 --> 00:04:25.959 With all of the AI written posts and everything, 00:04:26.160 --> 00:04:29.439 it's funny. Here now, people purposely putting 00:04:29.439 --> 00:04:33.350 in... spelling mistakes and misspellings. The 00:04:33.350 --> 00:04:35.430 big giveaway for a while was like the em dash. 00:04:35.670 --> 00:04:37.269 That was the thing that everyone joked around, 00:04:37.370 --> 00:04:39.970 right? And now people are purposely putting in 00:04:39.970 --> 00:04:42.730 mistakes. And I think that's a little window 00:04:42.730 --> 00:04:47.290 into who we are as humans, right? We're not this 00:04:47.290 --> 00:04:52.709 perfect political presentation of a human being. 00:04:53.069 --> 00:04:55.870 And the people that are that way. We don't connect 00:04:55.870 --> 00:04:59.129 with, right? We don't feel a warmth. We don't 00:04:59.129 --> 00:05:01.610 feel like they know us so that we can get to 00:05:01.610 --> 00:05:05.629 know them. So I really feel like one of the keys 00:05:05.629 --> 00:05:11.029 here is allowing yourself to make mistakes and 00:05:11.029 --> 00:05:13.290 being okay with it. But you really have to get 00:05:13.290 --> 00:05:15.689 to that point yourself where you don't feel like 00:05:15.689 --> 00:05:19.029 you always have to be on or you always have to 00:05:19.029 --> 00:05:23.740 be super professional. People like them. So it's 00:05:23.740 --> 00:05:27.579 an amazing concept. They're not looking for you 00:05:27.579 --> 00:05:32.519 to be perfect. That's so true. And I'm all about 00:05:32.519 --> 00:05:35.839 networking communication. I have networking groups. 00:05:36.079 --> 00:05:39.660 I coach people on networking. I go and I do workshops 00:05:39.660 --> 00:05:43.620 for people. And one thing I'm always trying to 00:05:43.620 --> 00:05:47.120 have them do, and that's be their authentic self. 00:05:47.500 --> 00:05:50.560 Don't be afraid to make a mistake. If you make 00:05:50.560 --> 00:05:54.259 a mistake, own it. Own it, laugh about it, move 00:05:54.259 --> 00:05:57.819 on. Because everybody does it. Everybody makes 00:05:57.819 --> 00:05:59.379 me laugh. You don't want to be as professional. 00:05:59.500 --> 00:06:02.319 This is who I am. But you want to be, because 00:06:02.319 --> 00:06:04.959 you're more personable. When you're more personable, 00:06:05.079 --> 00:06:10.040 that wall between you and your supposed client 00:06:10.040 --> 00:06:13.720 is coming down, right? And that level of trust 00:06:13.720 --> 00:06:17.180 is increasing. So it just makes a better conversation. 00:06:17.639 --> 00:06:21.259 A stronger connection, for sure. Good, good. 00:06:21.850 --> 00:06:24.889 What's getting in the way of people forming real 00:06:24.889 --> 00:06:29.329 connections today? Is it fear? Is it fear of 00:06:29.329 --> 00:06:33.069 rejection, digital noise, or simply forgetting 00:06:33.069 --> 00:06:38.810 how to be human? I want to suggest something 00:06:38.810 --> 00:06:43.189 that for a lot of us, especially in business 00:06:43.189 --> 00:06:46.870 organizations, the corporate world, a lot of 00:06:46.870 --> 00:06:51.990 us were not very good. at connecting with people, 00:06:52.069 --> 00:06:54.790 being ourselves. A lot of it was, hey, we go 00:06:54.790 --> 00:06:57.850 to college and we learn something and we're trying 00:06:57.850 --> 00:07:02.069 to fit in and we think we want to be this person 00:07:02.069 --> 00:07:06.829 or this role. And then there's a lot of learning 00:07:06.829 --> 00:07:09.730 and a lot of people are just uncomfortable around 00:07:09.730 --> 00:07:12.230 people and maybe they don't learn that along 00:07:12.230 --> 00:07:14.670 the way. They don't learn how to better connect 00:07:14.670 --> 00:07:18.329 with people. And then we introduce a lot of distraction. 00:07:19.240 --> 00:07:22.879 So in a lot of ways, the past, say, 10, 15 years 00:07:22.879 --> 00:07:27.439 have been a huge experiment with phones and social 00:07:27.439 --> 00:07:30.819 media and everything. So now you have a lot of 00:07:30.819 --> 00:07:34.399 people who wanted to be something when they went 00:07:34.399 --> 00:07:38.980 to college. They maybe didn't learn human skills 00:07:38.980 --> 00:07:41.819 or how to relate to people along the way. And 00:07:41.819 --> 00:07:45.319 now you introduce this whole world of digital 00:07:45.319 --> 00:07:50.170 distraction. and alerts and notifications. And 00:07:50.170 --> 00:07:53.189 we're all, even those of us, even people like 00:07:53.189 --> 00:07:57.689 me who think I don't do that, I do it. We all 00:07:57.689 --> 00:08:02.290 do it. We're all swimming in the pool. And I 00:08:02.290 --> 00:08:05.290 think that becomes a real problem for people 00:08:05.290 --> 00:08:08.470 because they didn't have a baseline set of skills 00:08:08.470 --> 00:08:13.689 and now they're constantly not present in the 00:08:13.689 --> 00:08:16.399 moment. And if you're not present in the moment 00:08:16.399 --> 00:08:19.939 and paying attention, you're never going to connect 00:08:19.939 --> 00:08:23.519 with other people. I can't agree with you more. 00:08:23.860 --> 00:08:28.579 Everything you just said is so impactful of the 00:08:28.579 --> 00:08:32.940 person just getting out and saying, who am I? 00:08:33.220 --> 00:08:36.299 Who are you? What is everything? Because there's 00:08:36.299 --> 00:08:40.399 so much. Listen, I was in the Air Force. I was 00:08:40.399 --> 00:08:43.269 a police officer. I went through basic training. 00:08:43.389 --> 00:08:45.409 I went through the police academy. I went through 00:08:45.409 --> 00:08:48.029 something called air -based ground defense. They 00:08:48.029 --> 00:08:51.850 taught me everything how to be a cop. And when 00:08:51.850 --> 00:08:54.909 I got to my first duty station, the sergeant 00:08:54.909 --> 00:08:56.730 looked at me and said, okay, you went through 00:08:56.730 --> 00:09:00.490 everything? Yes. Forget it. Because now we're 00:09:00.490 --> 00:09:03.269 going to teach you. And that's where my true 00:09:03.269 --> 00:09:07.110 teaching began. It's something to be taught in 00:09:07.110 --> 00:09:11.309 school. But I think that's missing now in high 00:09:11.309 --> 00:09:16.330 schools and colleges, how to conduct yourself 00:09:16.330 --> 00:09:20.309 with another person. That's being your authentic 00:09:20.309 --> 00:09:22.690 self, being good to be able to connect with them. 00:09:22.769 --> 00:09:24.990 Don't just go and party and everything else. 00:09:25.009 --> 00:09:28.950 You have to really learn how to, because in today's 00:09:28.950 --> 00:09:31.710 environment, when you leave school and everything, 00:09:31.850 --> 00:09:35.330 you're like faced with all of this. Oh yeah. 00:09:35.629 --> 00:09:38.100 And then what do you, then what do you do? And 00:09:38.100 --> 00:09:41.080 I digress. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And one thing 00:09:41.080 --> 00:09:44.120 I'll add there, Michael, is that there are people 00:09:44.120 --> 00:09:46.679 who get this, what you and I are talking about. 00:09:47.080 --> 00:09:50.519 It's not everyone staring at their phone when 00:09:50.519 --> 00:09:53.279 they feel awkward in a group of people. There 00:09:53.279 --> 00:09:55.580 are people who get it and they are doing it. 00:09:56.080 --> 00:09:58.559 And they're the ones that are making meaningful 00:09:58.559 --> 00:10:02.950 connections. They're the ones that don't have 00:10:02.950 --> 00:10:05.429 to upload their resume to a bunch of companies 00:10:05.429 --> 00:10:07.429 when they want to change jobs because people 00:10:07.429 --> 00:10:11.190 know them and like them and trust them. Absolutely. 00:10:11.210 --> 00:10:13.610 Absolutely. I couldn't have said it better myself. 00:10:13.970 --> 00:10:18.049 You're doing great. Okay. So let's do a little 00:10:18.049 --> 00:10:20.309 bit listening and hearing and active listening. 00:10:20.490 --> 00:10:23.129 You talk about the difference between listening 00:10:23.129 --> 00:10:26.990 and active listening. How do you define the difference 00:10:26.990 --> 00:10:30.629 in today's distraction? A lot of times we think 00:10:30.629 --> 00:10:35.870 we're listening and there's this line that was 00:10:35.870 --> 00:10:38.370 made famous in Pulp Fiction about whether you're 00:10:38.370 --> 00:10:43.049 listening or waiting to talk. Exactly. Most of 00:10:43.049 --> 00:10:46.309 us are waiting to talk. Real active listening 00:10:46.309 --> 00:10:52.070 is where you're both in the content of the conversation, 00:10:52.350 --> 00:10:56.509 but you're also in what might be called metacommunication, 00:10:56.870 --> 00:11:01.220 metacognition. why is this story coming up and 00:11:01.220 --> 00:11:04.419 why is it coming up now? What's the story behind 00:11:04.419 --> 00:11:07.419 the story? Is this person sharing something with 00:11:07.419 --> 00:11:12.299 me because they feel uncomfortable about it, 00:11:12.320 --> 00:11:15.559 something they're processing, or are they trying 00:11:15.559 --> 00:11:20.100 to get me to buy something or think that they're 00:11:20.100 --> 00:11:22.940 really impressive? And so I think active listening 00:11:22.940 --> 00:11:29.570 is, it's not just body language or just the words 00:11:29.570 --> 00:11:32.950 that are being exchanged it's everything and 00:11:32.950 --> 00:11:37.809 you can't do that unless you're truly in the 00:11:37.809 --> 00:11:42.590 moment and truly present and 90 % of what we 00:11:42.590 --> 00:11:44.789 experience just going through our days going 00:11:44.789 --> 00:11:48.429 to the grocery store takes us out of that like 00:11:48.429 --> 00:11:51.570 when's the last time you were standing in line 00:11:51.570 --> 00:11:56.080 at the grocery store Just looking around and 00:11:56.080 --> 00:11:59.419 able to smile at the person behind you. It's 00:11:59.419 --> 00:12:03.759 almost unheard of. And so I think the real answer 00:12:03.759 --> 00:12:06.539 there is, you know, listening is a great step, 00:12:06.659 --> 00:12:10.159 but I would say active listening is really more 00:12:10.159 --> 00:12:12.700 about the whole three -dimensional experience 00:12:12.700 --> 00:12:18.039 of being in the company of another person. Absolutely. 00:12:18.159 --> 00:12:21.700 Absolutely. And you brought up two very solid 00:12:21.700 --> 00:12:25.639 points. One is your active listening with the 00:12:25.639 --> 00:12:28.360 other person that you're sitting down with. And 00:12:28.360 --> 00:12:31.500 a little trick of mine when I active listen, 00:12:31.639 --> 00:12:34.460 because I never think about the next thing that 00:12:34.460 --> 00:12:37.879 I want to say. I'm concentrating on what they're 00:12:37.879 --> 00:12:41.620 saying. So I repeat some of it back to them. 00:12:41.679 --> 00:12:44.340 So in other words, I understand that you want. 00:12:44.779 --> 00:12:47.440 this, or I understand that you're talking about 00:12:47.440 --> 00:12:50.720 this, and you go and repeat some of it. And you 00:12:50.720 --> 00:12:53.779 continue on with it. So that shows them that 00:12:53.779 --> 00:12:57.759 you're listening to what they're saying. So it's 00:12:57.759 --> 00:13:00.299 very important. But I also because networking 00:13:00.299 --> 00:13:04.220 is such a broad and generic field that I tell 00:13:04.220 --> 00:13:06.440 people when they're online to grocery store, 00:13:06.659 --> 00:13:10.850 online at a department store. Look around. The 00:13:10.850 --> 00:13:14.429 person behind you may talk about mortgages, right? 00:13:14.629 --> 00:13:18.169 And I used to be in the mortgage field. So if 00:13:18.169 --> 00:13:21.730 you have something intelligent to say it and 00:13:21.730 --> 00:13:24.950 turn back around, if they're interested, then 00:13:24.950 --> 00:13:26.750 they'll tap you on the shoulder and say, excuse 00:13:26.750 --> 00:13:29.470 me, but could you explain a bit more about that? 00:13:29.629 --> 00:13:31.769 It's just, and you're all of a sudden, now you're 00:13:31.769 --> 00:13:34.970 getting the recognition of everybody around you 00:13:34.970 --> 00:13:38.789 and everybody's listening. So it's amazing the 00:13:38.789 --> 00:13:42.190 type of networking you can accomplish. One thing 00:13:42.190 --> 00:13:44.210 I'll add to that, Michael, which I absolutely 00:13:44.210 --> 00:13:47.649 love, is that what we're really talking about 00:13:47.649 --> 00:13:52.049 here is practicing. Practice at the grocery store. 00:13:52.149 --> 00:13:55.750 Practice at Starbucks. Practice when you bump 00:13:55.750 --> 00:13:58.129 into your neighbor getting the mail. These are 00:13:58.129 --> 00:14:02.360 little moments that add up. If you feel overwhelmed 00:14:02.360 --> 00:14:05.340 when you go to a conference and you're expected 00:14:05.340 --> 00:14:08.440 to spend that first hour networking, or what 00:14:08.440 --> 00:14:12.179 about when lunch gets served? Now that's big 00:14:12.179 --> 00:14:15.220 time, right? If you don't know anyone and you 00:14:15.220 --> 00:14:17.379 have to find someone to eat with and you don't 00:14:17.379 --> 00:14:20.340 want to eat alone, it could be a lot of pressure, 00:14:20.440 --> 00:14:23.700 right? Absolutely. Start small, right? Do your 00:14:23.700 --> 00:14:27.850 reps. Get comfortable with it in like your everyday 00:14:27.850 --> 00:14:31.389 places and then it'll be much easier later on. 00:14:32.090 --> 00:14:35.929 I tell everybody it takes three things to get 00:14:35.929 --> 00:14:40.570 good at networking as a whole. Practice and practice. 00:14:41.710 --> 00:14:44.149 Practice yourself. Practice in front of a mirror. 00:14:44.309 --> 00:14:46.409 Practice at the department store. Practice at 00:14:46.409 --> 00:14:48.950 the grocery store. Practice because the more 00:14:48.950 --> 00:14:51.490 reps you get in, the more comfortable you will 00:14:51.490 --> 00:14:54.850 be talking to anybody else. So remember those 00:14:54.850 --> 00:14:57.289 three things. Practice. It's what we all need. 00:14:57.629 --> 00:15:02.149 Yes, we do. Okay. As technology takes over more 00:15:02.149 --> 00:15:06.110 human touch points, where does empathy fit into 00:15:06.110 --> 00:15:09.470 the networking equation? And how do we keep it 00:15:09.470 --> 00:15:14.210 from being replaced by convenience? Interesting 00:15:14.210 --> 00:15:17.250 question, Michael. First, I want to make sure 00:15:17.250 --> 00:15:19.639 that we talk a little bit about. what we mean 00:15:19.639 --> 00:15:23.940 by empathy because i hear this a lot that empathy 00:15:23.940 --> 00:15:26.320 is a word that can confuse a lot of people and 00:15:26.320 --> 00:15:28.679 maybe we can broaden it a little bit and say 00:15:28.679 --> 00:15:32.980 caring about another person or caring about their 00:15:32.980 --> 00:15:36.000 experience or even acknowledging that they have 00:15:36.000 --> 00:15:40.139 a different experience than you That's a little 00:15:40.139 --> 00:15:42.240 bit of, in psychology, they call it a theory 00:15:42.240 --> 00:15:45.299 of mind. The ability to understand that someone 00:15:45.299 --> 00:15:49.139 else is going through something that is different 00:15:49.139 --> 00:15:54.440 from you and maybe just as or more important 00:15:54.440 --> 00:15:57.519 or critical in their life as what you're going 00:15:57.519 --> 00:16:01.080 through. So caring about the experience that 00:16:01.080 --> 00:16:05.080 someone else is having, I think, is your avenue 00:16:05.080 --> 00:16:10.750 into making real connection because people like 00:16:10.750 --> 00:16:13.529 people that are interested in them. It's the 00:16:13.529 --> 00:16:16.210 old how to win friends and influence people, 00:16:16.330 --> 00:16:20.429 right? It's when I'm curious about you and I 00:16:20.429 --> 00:16:23.389 ask you questions about you and I'm listening. 00:16:24.330 --> 00:16:28.809 And if it's in a genuine way where I do affirm 00:16:28.809 --> 00:16:32.049 your experience and I say things back to you 00:16:32.049 --> 00:16:34.309 and I give you some indications that I'm paying 00:16:34.309 --> 00:16:37.990 attention. you're going to come away feeling 00:16:37.990 --> 00:16:41.049 like we've made a connection. And one of the 00:16:41.049 --> 00:16:44.850 things too that I want to come back to is this 00:16:44.850 --> 00:16:49.649 distraction and busyness and all that. And for 00:16:49.649 --> 00:16:52.850 a lot of people, they feel like it's work. Like 00:16:52.850 --> 00:16:55.429 I have to be on, I have to be available, I have 00:16:55.429 --> 00:16:58.590 to answer emails at night and stuff like that. 00:16:58.850 --> 00:17:02.289 I want to suggest that we all need to fight back 00:17:02.289 --> 00:17:06.680 a little bit. We need to reclaim. A bit of our 00:17:06.680 --> 00:17:11.019 own ability to just calm ourselves down and be 00:17:11.019 --> 00:17:15.079 present. And there, again, we talked about practice. 00:17:15.500 --> 00:17:18.160 There are a lot of small ways. Turn the notifications 00:17:18.160 --> 00:17:22.240 off of your phone, right? Are you getting pop 00:17:22.240 --> 00:17:24.940 -ups on every single email that comes up on your 00:17:24.940 --> 00:17:27.380 desktop or your laptop? Pretty sure you don't 00:17:27.380 --> 00:17:28.579 need that because you're going to look at your 00:17:28.579 --> 00:17:32.549 email anyway. And if you're not, you're doing 00:17:32.549 --> 00:17:35.230 that. Hopefully you're doing valuable work and 00:17:35.230 --> 00:17:40.049 you shouldn't be distracted by that. So my point 00:17:40.049 --> 00:17:42.910 here really is that just the way that we practice 00:17:42.910 --> 00:17:45.970 having conversations with people in the grocery 00:17:45.970 --> 00:17:50.190 store, in line at Starbucks, practice reducing 00:17:50.190 --> 00:17:55.470 the noise and you can reclaim a bit of your own 00:17:55.470 --> 00:17:58.930 attention so that it's easier when you are interacting 00:17:58.930 --> 00:18:03.519 with other people. Absolutely. Absolutely. And 00:18:03.519 --> 00:18:07.279 that brings me to a point where whenever I network 00:18:07.279 --> 00:18:11.420 or I'm teaching people how to network, I say, 00:18:11.440 --> 00:18:15.500 go there with a servant's heart. Go there thinking, 00:18:15.680 --> 00:18:19.799 what can I do for them and not for me? Because 00:18:19.799 --> 00:18:23.359 what that does is that releases. all of the tension, 00:18:23.680 --> 00:18:26.359 everything off my shoulders. It's no longer a 00:18:26.359 --> 00:18:28.779 problem. So if I'm going there and I'm saying, 00:18:28.900 --> 00:18:31.700 okay, Andrew, you're talking to me or everything, 00:18:31.900 --> 00:18:35.559 I bring in something called F -O -R -M, family, 00:18:35.740 --> 00:18:38.880 occupation, recreation, and there's a message. 00:18:39.440 --> 00:18:41.480 So I try to pick out one of those things and 00:18:41.480 --> 00:18:44.200 have you talk about it. Family, that's easy because 00:18:44.200 --> 00:18:47.559 everybody loves to talk about themselves or their 00:18:47.559 --> 00:18:49.619 family or their kids or their grandchildren. 00:18:50.099 --> 00:18:52.599 If they talk about youth sports, I'm in like 00:18:52.599 --> 00:18:54.940 Flint because I was a coach, I was a mentor, 00:18:55.059 --> 00:18:57.059 I was everything. And then it moves to occupation 00:18:57.059 --> 00:18:59.839 and they start talking about what they do and 00:18:59.839 --> 00:19:02.200 how they do it and everything else. And I stop 00:19:02.200 --> 00:19:05.119 them and I say, you know something, Andrew, I 00:19:05.119 --> 00:19:09.240 like you. I like the way you do business. can 00:19:09.240 --> 00:19:14.339 I make you more successful? How can I be a good 00:19:14.339 --> 00:19:18.759 referral source for you? And if I did my job 00:19:18.759 --> 00:19:21.799 correctly, you say, Mike, I don't even know what 00:19:21.799 --> 00:19:24.680 the hell you do yet. You know, and that's perfect. 00:19:25.019 --> 00:19:28.460 And the follow -up is a whole nother conversation 00:19:28.460 --> 00:19:31.460 that starts the whole thing because that shows 00:19:31.460 --> 00:19:34.859 them that I'm very interested in helping them 00:19:34.859 --> 00:19:38.769 and not just selling something. Yeah. And like 00:19:38.769 --> 00:19:40.829 you said, it takes the pressure off. I don't 00:19:40.829 --> 00:19:43.569 need to show up at this event and sell my thing. 00:19:43.710 --> 00:19:48.009 I don't need to find five amazing clients or 00:19:48.009 --> 00:19:51.250 anything. All I have to do is be curious. That's 00:19:51.250 --> 00:19:55.549 it. And connect. You connect. Listen, I told 00:19:55.549 --> 00:19:57.730 you I was in a mortgage company, mortgage firm, 00:19:58.069 --> 00:20:02.210 big bank. I was high up. And I used to go to 00:20:02.210 --> 00:20:04.190 a networking event. And I used to come home with 00:20:04.190 --> 00:20:07.069 a shoebox. filled with business cards. I said, 00:20:07.150 --> 00:20:10.089 look how good I did. Did I do that well? No, 00:20:10.210 --> 00:20:14.349 I didn't, right? So now when I teach people, 00:20:14.450 --> 00:20:16.630 if they go to a three or four hour event, you 00:20:16.630 --> 00:20:20.490 come home with 15, maybe 20 business cards, right? 00:20:20.569 --> 00:20:22.789 Because that means that you made a connection 00:20:22.789 --> 00:20:27.289 to all of those people. And then you follow up 00:20:27.289 --> 00:20:30.309 accordingly. But it's such a difference. I went 00:20:30.309 --> 00:20:32.589 to the School of Hard Knocks. I learned how to 00:20:32.589 --> 00:20:35.299 do everything wrong. Before I did it correctly. 00:20:35.519 --> 00:20:38.039 But now I hope I think I'm doing it correctly. 00:20:38.200 --> 00:20:40.160 Because I'm teaching people. And I hope I'm teaching 00:20:40.160 --> 00:20:44.539 them the correct way. Okay. So everyone says 00:20:44.539 --> 00:20:49.539 just be authentic. But does authentic mean we've 00:20:49.539 --> 00:20:52.079 been constantly adapting to fit different professional 00:20:52.079 --> 00:20:58.579 circles? Incredible question. And let's just 00:20:58.579 --> 00:21:02.279 let's call it like it is. I think as you're especially 00:21:02.279 --> 00:21:04.140 if you're working in a corporate environment, 00:21:04.240 --> 00:21:07.059 working for a company, there is a bit of that. 00:21:07.160 --> 00:21:11.559 There's a bit of am I fitting in? Am I understanding 00:21:11.559 --> 00:21:14.980 what the rules of engagement are? Do I am I tuning 00:21:14.980 --> 00:21:17.799 into the culture of the company, the subculture, 00:21:17.880 --> 00:21:21.559 the way real decisions are getting made? There's 00:21:21.559 --> 00:21:24.589 a little bit of that. If everyone dresses in 00:21:24.589 --> 00:21:27.470 business casual and jeans on Friday, it would 00:21:27.470 --> 00:21:30.569 be in your best interest to probably do the same. 00:21:31.289 --> 00:21:34.849 Even if you're a sweatpants, you know, the way 00:21:34.849 --> 00:21:37.609 people go to the airport, right? They get on 00:21:37.609 --> 00:21:39.690 planes, right? Even if you're one of those people. 00:21:42.349 --> 00:21:46.650 So authenticity doesn't mean, hey, I'm a cranky 00:21:46.650 --> 00:21:49.269 jerk and everyone just has to love me the way 00:21:49.269 --> 00:21:54.150 I am. That's not authenticity. Authenticity, 00:21:54.349 --> 00:21:57.069 the way we should think about authenticity is 00:21:57.069 --> 00:22:02.910 really that you have opinions and you have ideas 00:22:02.910 --> 00:22:08.950 and you're able to talk about yourself in a way 00:22:08.950 --> 00:22:15.190 that is. both affirming and also encourages input 00:22:15.190 --> 00:22:18.150 from others. You're not inflicting yourself on 00:22:18.150 --> 00:22:20.670 others. You're encouraging people to engage with 00:22:20.670 --> 00:22:23.609 you. I went through a lot of this myself as trying 00:22:23.609 --> 00:22:29.089 to be this sort of corporate executive and fit 00:22:29.089 --> 00:22:31.529 in a financial services company where at the 00:22:31.529 --> 00:22:34.650 start, it was like everyone was in suits all 00:22:34.650 --> 00:22:37.769 the time. And that was as far away from my world 00:22:37.769 --> 00:22:42.299 as I could ever get. And you got to just figure 00:22:42.299 --> 00:22:46.720 out the stuff that doesn't matter and use genuine 00:22:46.720 --> 00:22:50.000 one -on -one conversations to get to know people 00:22:50.000 --> 00:22:53.980 and build strong connections with people. That's 00:22:53.980 --> 00:22:56.559 perfect. I couldn't have said it better myself 00:22:56.559 --> 00:23:00.220 because it's not a matter of you trying to fit 00:23:00.220 --> 00:23:04.500 in. You're trying to make yourself, well, fit 00:23:04.500 --> 00:23:08.420 in, but have everybody else acknowledge the fact. 00:23:09.049 --> 00:23:13.589 What am I trying to say? That you are part of 00:23:13.589 --> 00:23:17.009 the group. That's called the group. And you want 00:23:17.009 --> 00:23:19.069 to be a part of the group. You don't want to 00:23:19.069 --> 00:23:22.630 speak at people. You want to speak to people 00:23:22.630 --> 00:23:25.970 and have them respond to you. And it's how you 00:23:25.970 --> 00:23:30.910 respond to the responses that help you fit in. 00:23:31.470 --> 00:23:35.769 Right. Yes. And fighting against things that 00:23:35.769 --> 00:23:39.390 don't really matter too much. is really just 00:23:39.390 --> 00:23:41.829 going to set you off to the side. The things 00:23:41.829 --> 00:23:44.549 that matter are speaking what you feel like is 00:23:44.549 --> 00:23:47.990 truth. And sometimes you suffer the consequences 00:23:47.990 --> 00:23:51.029 of it, but a lot of times honoring your own ideas, 00:23:51.250 --> 00:23:55.809 that builds real authenticity. Yes, I couldn't 00:23:55.809 --> 00:24:00.289 agree more. Okay, so we're surrounded by constant 00:24:00.289 --> 00:24:03.950 noise, content, opinions, updates, notifications, 00:24:04.250 --> 00:24:07.960 as you said before. How do you personally cut 00:24:07.960 --> 00:24:12.079 through that and stay connected to people who 00:24:12.079 --> 00:24:16.660 matter most? It's a great question, Michael. 00:24:16.740 --> 00:24:22.720 For me, staying connected with people takes effort. 00:24:23.180 --> 00:24:25.599 I'm not going to tell you that I call my mom 00:24:25.599 --> 00:24:30.240 every day, okay? It does take effort. And I'm, 00:24:30.240 --> 00:24:33.700 I'm as, I like to say that I'm a lot more present 00:24:33.700 --> 00:24:36.799 or I can be present in situations. And I think 00:24:36.799 --> 00:24:39.900 that's probably true a lot of time, but in a 00:24:39.900 --> 00:24:42.519 lot of ways, I'm swimming in the pool with everyone 00:24:42.519 --> 00:24:45.920 else. I'm distracted too. So, you know what? 00:24:46.079 --> 00:24:48.720 Sometimes I put it on my calendar. Call dad. 00:24:50.529 --> 00:24:54.910 My son has been in the Bay Area for a long time 00:24:54.910 --> 00:24:58.829 now, and we used to purposely have a biweekly 00:24:58.829 --> 00:25:01.829 meeting where we would just chat. And it was 00:25:01.829 --> 00:25:04.470 great for his schedule. He was super busy. It 00:25:04.470 --> 00:25:06.529 was great for my schedule. There's nothing wrong 00:25:06.529 --> 00:25:09.950 with that. What you don't want is to be walking 00:25:09.950 --> 00:25:11.990 around feeling bad that you haven't reached out 00:25:11.990 --> 00:25:14.670 to people or talked to people. And sometimes, 00:25:14.730 --> 00:25:17.150 to be fair to ourselves, sometimes we just forget 00:25:17.150 --> 00:25:19.509 or we're just not in the mood. You go out, you 00:25:19.509 --> 00:25:21.690 take your garbage cans out to the curb, your 00:25:21.690 --> 00:25:24.430 neighbors are there chatting, you're like, head 00:25:24.430 --> 00:25:29.890 down, pull the baseball cap down. Not available, 00:25:30.150 --> 00:25:32.609 right? It's okay. Absolutely. Give yourself a 00:25:32.609 --> 00:25:35.549 break. Yep, yep. You can do that. You can just 00:25:35.549 --> 00:25:38.359 say, I don't want. any of that now because I'm 00:25:38.359 --> 00:25:41.500 just not in the mood. However, sometimes you 00:25:41.500 --> 00:25:44.460 have to open yourself up to that. You have to 00:25:44.460 --> 00:25:46.779 look out the window and see your neighbors talking. 00:25:47.380 --> 00:25:49.819 You'll not take the garbage out for 10 minutes 00:25:49.819 --> 00:25:53.019 because that means that both disperse. But otherwise, 00:25:53.420 --> 00:25:56.559 you take them out now and you go out and say, 00:25:56.599 --> 00:25:58.799 hey, what's going on? And talk with them. So 00:25:58.799 --> 00:26:02.140 you make that decision, but don't be pressured 00:26:02.140 --> 00:26:05.849 into... going out, being open and talking to 00:26:05.849 --> 00:26:08.049 everybody because we're not built like that. 00:26:08.170 --> 00:26:11.609 We need our alone time, but we don't want to 00:26:11.609 --> 00:26:17.009 take that too far. Okay. So as AI starts to handle 00:26:17.009 --> 00:26:21.609 more of our communication, emails, social posts, 00:26:21.809 --> 00:26:25.109 even introductions, where do you think human 00:26:25.109 --> 00:26:31.009 connection still has an irreplaceable edge? I 00:26:31.009 --> 00:26:33.289 think what we're going to find, and maybe this 00:26:33.289 --> 00:26:37.390 is happening now, is that there is some sort 00:26:37.390 --> 00:26:41.390 of surface level interaction going on with AI. 00:26:41.509 --> 00:26:45.369 And you see it, I see it on LinkedIn. It's so 00:26:45.369 --> 00:26:48.390 incredible what has happened on LinkedIn in the 00:26:48.390 --> 00:26:52.450 past five years, maybe eight years now. But I 00:26:52.450 --> 00:26:55.730 don't want to wax too philosophically about LinkedIn, 00:26:55.829 --> 00:26:59.900 but that's, it's a... fascinating thing to watch. 00:27:00.200 --> 00:27:05.460 And so you're right, AI, content creators, people 00:27:05.460 --> 00:27:08.160 managing your social media for you, all those 00:27:08.160 --> 00:27:11.579 things are happening. But I think, for one thing, 00:27:11.660 --> 00:27:15.279 the really generic stuff is never going to get 00:27:15.279 --> 00:27:19.079 picked up on. It's the posts or the interactions 00:27:19.079 --> 00:27:21.579 that actually have some meaning behind them, 00:27:21.660 --> 00:27:25.079 some genuine opinions. I think as humans, we're 00:27:25.079 --> 00:27:28.279 good. We're good at that. And we can tap into 00:27:28.279 --> 00:27:32.619 a million years of trying to figure out if that's 00:27:32.619 --> 00:27:36.079 a tiger or whether it's just the wind blowing 00:27:36.079 --> 00:27:39.960 outside the cave. We're pretty smart when it 00:27:39.960 --> 00:27:44.359 comes to whether we're talking to a stereotypical 00:27:44.359 --> 00:27:49.220 used car salesman or an ex -girlfriend or ex 00:27:49.220 --> 00:27:53.740 -boyfriend, right? We can tell. So I think. At 00:27:53.740 --> 00:27:55.640 the heart of your question really is like, where 00:27:55.640 --> 00:27:58.779 does this lead? And I think we're in a world 00:27:58.779 --> 00:28:01.220 where all the surface interactions are probably 00:28:01.220 --> 00:28:05.000 going to be formulated. They're going to be mechanical. 00:28:06.059 --> 00:28:10.420 And the people that are able to break through 00:28:10.420 --> 00:28:14.000 that, have a real message, have a genuine message, 00:28:14.079 --> 00:28:18.019 be of service, to your point earlier, are going 00:28:18.019 --> 00:28:20.920 to break through it. And really beyond that, 00:28:22.250 --> 00:28:24.789 I don't want to talk to an AI. Like, I want to 00:28:24.789 --> 00:28:28.269 talk to a real human who has lived experience 00:28:28.269 --> 00:28:32.410 and is willing to share the ups and downs of 00:28:32.410 --> 00:28:36.369 their life with me. I think the humanity is going 00:28:36.369 --> 00:28:39.390 to actually become more and more important the 00:28:39.390 --> 00:28:44.549 more that there's going to be a subset of our 00:28:44.549 --> 00:28:49.670 sort of co -workers in the world that are okay 00:28:49.670 --> 00:28:54.390 with AI. I think the success and the fruits are 00:28:54.390 --> 00:28:56.089 going to be with the people that are willing 00:28:56.089 --> 00:28:59.829 to break through it. Yeah, that's one thing that 00:28:59.829 --> 00:29:03.609 I try to keep in mind. And another thing that 00:29:03.609 --> 00:29:07.690 I coach people about is that this Zoom call is 00:29:07.690 --> 00:29:10.450 going all the time. But you have to remember 00:29:10.450 --> 00:29:14.549 one thing. There's a person on the other end 00:29:14.549 --> 00:29:18.089 of that call. Right? It's not AI generated. It's 00:29:18.089 --> 00:29:20.769 not anything. You're talking to him one -on -one. 00:29:21.190 --> 00:29:24.730 So you have to think about the person who is 00:29:24.730 --> 00:29:29.250 behind the Zoom call, not just a Zoom call. So 00:29:29.250 --> 00:29:32.230 listen, if you can meet them one -on -one in 00:29:32.230 --> 00:29:34.609 a coffee shop or whatever else, that's terrific. 00:29:35.170 --> 00:29:37.869 But if you can't and you're talking to them over 00:29:37.869 --> 00:29:41.170 Zoom, you have to remember there are people too. 00:29:41.349 --> 00:29:44.319 They're a person. And that's one thing that I 00:29:44.319 --> 00:29:48.160 tried to coach with. Okay. So can you recall 00:29:48.160 --> 00:29:50.900 a moment when you realized you weren't showing 00:29:50.900 --> 00:29:54.180 up as your true self in a professional setting 00:29:54.180 --> 00:30:01.339 and what changed after that? There's been a lot 00:30:01.339 --> 00:30:05.240 of moments like that. And I mentioned having 00:30:05.240 --> 00:30:09.279 this executive role in a financial services company. 00:30:09.359 --> 00:30:13.220 And for me, I'm a little bit more of I want to 00:30:13.220 --> 00:30:15.839 go dig in the dirt. I like to be on a mountain 00:30:15.839 --> 00:30:19.460 bike. I like to be outside. I have a couple apple 00:30:19.460 --> 00:30:24.500 trees. I like to be outside. And I always felt 00:30:24.500 --> 00:30:27.940 a little bit like, hey, I have to play a little 00:30:27.940 --> 00:30:33.240 bit of this game here and fit in. Because I've 00:30:33.240 --> 00:30:37.059 invested 20 years into my career and a bachelor's 00:30:37.059 --> 00:30:39.079 degree and a master's degree and cybersecurity 00:30:39.079 --> 00:30:44.660 certifications and IT trainings and all that 00:30:44.660 --> 00:30:47.440 kind of stuff. And it can feel like a machine 00:30:47.440 --> 00:30:51.859 that you're at the front of, but you're not necessarily 00:30:51.859 --> 00:30:55.019 like really steering. And there have been plenty 00:30:55.019 --> 00:30:58.859 of moments where I felt like I am getting into 00:30:58.859 --> 00:31:02.279 something that I don't care too much about. And 00:31:02.279 --> 00:31:06.980 one of the big moments in my career was burning 00:31:06.980 --> 00:31:09.960 out really badly. And I didn't even know that 00:31:09.960 --> 00:31:14.720 I was in burnout. People seven, eight years ago 00:31:14.720 --> 00:31:16.680 would say things like burnout. And it was just 00:31:16.680 --> 00:31:20.059 like, oh, take the weekend off. And rub some 00:31:20.059 --> 00:31:23.880 dirt in it, by the way. And real burnout is elusive 00:31:23.880 --> 00:31:27.000 because suddenly you start to care a lot less. 00:31:27.240 --> 00:31:31.119 And when you used to reply to your boss's email 00:31:31.119 --> 00:31:34.599 within 10 or 15 minutes, suddenly you're going 00:31:34.599 --> 00:31:38.759 like a day and you're caring less and less. And 00:31:38.759 --> 00:31:43.539 the thing that changed for me was that I knew 00:31:43.539 --> 00:31:46.819 I had to make a change. And that was one of the 00:31:46.819 --> 00:31:50.990 big catalysts for me. for doing the work. What 00:31:50.990 --> 00:31:53.150 do I want? What do I want to do with my life? 00:31:53.269 --> 00:31:55.569 Where do I want to be in five years? What are 00:31:55.569 --> 00:31:59.890 the big, what would be fulfilling for me as I 00:31:59.890 --> 00:32:02.869 go into the next phase of my career? And it really 00:32:02.869 --> 00:32:07.289 drove me to start my coaching business. Wow. 00:32:07.430 --> 00:32:10.349 That's good. That's great. We all have that. 00:32:11.450 --> 00:32:14.289 We've all come from corporate. We all began our 00:32:14.289 --> 00:32:18.809 coaching journey. And we've also felt that bit 00:32:18.809 --> 00:32:22.250 of burnout when you're used to answering those 00:32:22.250 --> 00:32:25.289 emails almost on the spot saying, oh yeah, I'll 00:32:25.289 --> 00:32:27.509 be right there or whatever else. And it starts 00:32:27.509 --> 00:32:30.630 taking you longer and longer. If you can self 00:32:30.630 --> 00:32:35.190 -realize what's going on, you'll make that decision 00:32:35.190 --> 00:32:40.150 either to time to change ships or let me just 00:32:40.150 --> 00:32:42.730 figure out something and continue on my way. 00:32:42.950 --> 00:32:46.500 So you have to make that distinct decision. Okay. 00:32:46.900 --> 00:32:50.480 If someone asked your closest friends or colleagues, 00:32:50.700 --> 00:32:53.900 what makes you a great listener? What would they 00:32:53.900 --> 00:32:57.519 say? And what do you hope that they'd notice? 00:33:00.079 --> 00:33:05.440 I think that they would say that I ask a lot 00:33:05.440 --> 00:33:09.779 of questions. And that's probably not surprising 00:33:09.779 --> 00:33:11.980 since I'm an executive and leadership coach. 00:33:12.569 --> 00:33:17.710 But in third grade, I won an award for most inquisitive. 00:33:19.890 --> 00:33:24.210 So I haven't changed that much in that respect 00:33:24.210 --> 00:33:28.210 over time. So I like to know a lot about people. 00:33:28.349 --> 00:33:32.329 Like, I want to know, like, where in Georgia 00:33:32.329 --> 00:33:35.009 are you? I've been there. I have family there. 00:33:35.450 --> 00:33:39.150 Maybe you live near them. I'd love to hear about 00:33:39.150 --> 00:33:43.289 the military. I have 50 questions about you, 00:33:43.369 --> 00:33:46.150 Michael, that I haven't asked because I'm super 00:33:46.150 --> 00:33:48.950 curious about people. So I think it's the question 00:33:48.950 --> 00:33:52.789 part. But actually, the second part of your question 00:33:52.789 --> 00:33:55.829 is, what would I want them to take away? And 00:33:55.829 --> 00:33:59.410 I think it would be the presence. I want to be 00:33:59.410 --> 00:34:02.329 in conversation with someone where even if I 00:34:02.329 --> 00:34:06.890 don't say a word, they can feel that I'm there. 00:34:07.829 --> 00:34:11.639 I'm not wondering what's for lunch. I'm not wondering 00:34:11.639 --> 00:34:16.320 like why my phone is buzzing in my pocket. I'm 00:34:16.320 --> 00:34:20.019 actually there with them human to human and that 00:34:20.019 --> 00:34:25.920 it's important to me. What you just said, it 00:34:25.920 --> 00:34:30.380 should resonate so much with each person, but 00:34:30.380 --> 00:34:34.400 having the phone in your pocket, that takes away 00:34:34.400 --> 00:34:37.460 the majority of your distractions when you're 00:34:37.460 --> 00:34:40.239 with a person. Right. That's one of the first 00:34:40.239 --> 00:34:42.519 things that I coach. Put the phone away, turn 00:34:42.519 --> 00:34:44.320 it off, turn the buzzer off, turn everything 00:34:44.320 --> 00:34:49.199 off and just be with the person. So by you doing 00:34:49.199 --> 00:34:54.219 that instinctively and you being present with 00:34:54.219 --> 00:34:57.619 the person that you're speaking to, how else 00:34:57.619 --> 00:34:59.760 would they describe you? They would say, no, 00:34:59.860 --> 00:35:03.559 Andrew listens to me. Nobody listens to me. Andrew 00:35:03.559 --> 00:35:07.309 does. He gets me. And that is probably the most 00:35:07.309 --> 00:35:10.329 important thing that I think that anybody would 00:35:10.329 --> 00:35:13.610 say about me is that he gets me. So that goes 00:35:13.610 --> 00:35:16.829 on from there. So let's bring this podcast full 00:35:16.829 --> 00:35:21.489 circle. Looking ahead five to 10 years as technology 00:35:21.489 --> 00:35:26.670 evolves and attention spans shrink, what will 00:35:26.670 --> 00:35:30.550 authentic connection look like and what habits 00:35:30.550 --> 00:35:33.369 should we be building now to prepare for it? 00:35:33.820 --> 00:35:36.739 Incredible question. I'm going to approach that 00:35:36.739 --> 00:35:39.420 with some of the themes that we've been talking 00:35:39.420 --> 00:35:44.880 about. So I've coached people at a lot of different 00:35:44.880 --> 00:35:48.380 companies and not just engineers, a lot of engineers, 00:35:48.639 --> 00:35:52.420 a lot of very senior engineers, which is a direct 00:35:52.420 --> 00:35:55.119 connection back to my corporate background in 00:35:55.119 --> 00:36:00.300 engineering. But I want people to understand 00:36:00.300 --> 00:36:04.940 that it's highly likely that the person you're 00:36:04.940 --> 00:36:08.980 interacting with is incredibly lonely and anxious. 00:36:10.199 --> 00:36:13.420 The pandemic did a lot of things, and we could 00:36:13.420 --> 00:36:16.139 argue the pluses and minuses of the pandemic. 00:36:16.179 --> 00:36:21.980 But one thing about a lot of people is that they 00:36:21.980 --> 00:36:27.860 got used to being by themselves, being at home. 00:36:28.219 --> 00:36:31.519 And like remote work, it's not a great fit for 00:36:31.519 --> 00:36:33.840 a lot of people. People complain about this return 00:36:33.840 --> 00:36:37.940 to the office stuff, right? That seems really 00:36:37.940 --> 00:36:41.639 heavy handed. But on the other hand, working 00:36:41.639 --> 00:36:46.800 from home alone, day in, day out is not real 00:36:46.800 --> 00:36:49.739 healthy for a lot of people. So I think you have 00:36:49.739 --> 00:36:52.800 to assume that the person in front of you is 00:36:52.800 --> 00:36:58.070 incredibly lonely and incredibly anxious. Because 00:36:58.070 --> 00:37:01.429 the speed of our world, our devices, our notifications, 00:37:01.650 --> 00:37:04.269 things are speeding up the way that we process 00:37:04.269 --> 00:37:08.670 things in our minds. Wouldn't it be amazing to 00:37:08.670 --> 00:37:12.070 be the person, even if it's for five minutes, 00:37:12.110 --> 00:37:16.050 that could actually listen to that person? And 00:37:16.050 --> 00:37:19.050 almost be the one, maybe the one person in the 00:37:19.050 --> 00:37:23.489 week or the month that is actually there in that 00:37:23.489 --> 00:37:29.099 moment, looks them in the eye. It smiles, affirms 00:37:29.099 --> 00:37:33.219 what they're saying, says it back to them, connects. 00:37:33.619 --> 00:37:37.840 Like, you could probably change someone's day 00:37:37.840 --> 00:37:40.940 with just being present, looking them in the 00:37:40.940 --> 00:37:45.380 eye, nodding and smiling in a genuine way. And 00:37:45.380 --> 00:37:49.739 the speediness, the AI, the technology, that's 00:37:49.739 --> 00:37:51.980 not going away. There's too much money in it, 00:37:52.059 --> 00:37:56.829 right? It's not going away. But we're definitely 00:37:56.829 --> 00:38:02.829 in a situation where we can be the person that 00:38:02.829 --> 00:38:06.210 provides a little moment of peace and connection 00:38:06.210 --> 00:38:10.269 to someone else. That's great. That's perfect. 00:38:10.960 --> 00:38:13.699 That's a perfect answer to the question. Andrew, 00:38:13.840 --> 00:38:17.380 this was a great podcast. I thank you so much 00:38:17.380 --> 00:38:20.039 for coming on. If somebody wanted to get hold 00:38:20.039 --> 00:38:23.119 of you, either just to ask you a question or 00:38:23.119 --> 00:38:26.280 to ask you about coaching, where can they reach 00:38:26.280 --> 00:38:29.719 you? Yeah, great place to reach me is on LinkedIn. 00:38:29.880 --> 00:38:32.360 You can find me. It's just Andrew Hinkelman. 00:38:33.420 --> 00:38:37.920 And one thing that I'll say is I do a lot of. 00:38:38.539 --> 00:38:41.500 what I might call pro bono coaching. If someone 00:38:41.500 --> 00:38:45.960 wants to just see what coaching is, I take an 00:38:45.960 --> 00:38:50.119 hour with tons of people week to week just to 00:38:50.119 --> 00:38:54.159 do a real conversation, not unlike the conversation 00:38:54.159 --> 00:38:55.860 that we're having right now. It's just what's 00:38:55.860 --> 00:38:58.849 going on. What are you working on? Where's the 00:38:58.849 --> 00:39:01.389 friction? That's something that I do with people 00:39:01.389 --> 00:39:04.190 frequently. We just take an hour and you can 00:39:04.190 --> 00:39:06.750 get a feel for what a real coaching session is 00:39:06.750 --> 00:39:09.789 like. So that's something that I'd offer to any 00:39:09.789 --> 00:39:12.949 of your audience. On my LinkedIn, there is a 00:39:12.949 --> 00:39:15.630 link to book time with me. That's a great way 00:39:15.630 --> 00:39:19.750 to connect. Great, Andrew. Thank you so much. 00:39:19.789 --> 00:39:22.710 And I hope people will take you up on it and 00:39:22.710 --> 00:39:26.250 they will all contact you soon. Absolutely. Thank 00:39:26.250 --> 00:39:32.570 you, Michael. Appreciate it. Well, hold on, folks. 00:39:32.929 --> 00:39:35.809 Don't go anywhere. Let's hear from our sponsors. 00:39:36.369 --> 00:39:40.250 David Neal, co -founder Revved Up Kids. Revved 00:39:40.250 --> 00:39:43.190 Up Kids is on a mission to protect children and 00:39:43.190 --> 00:39:47.190 teens from sexual abuse, exploitation, and trafficking. 00:39:47.429 --> 00:39:50.630 They provide prevention training programs for 00:39:50.630 --> 00:39:54.190 children, teens, and adults. To learn more, go 00:39:54.190 --> 00:39:58.570 to revvedupkids .org. Henry Kaplan, Century 21. 00:39:59.070 --> 00:40:01.289 When it comes to making the biggest financial 00:40:01.289 --> 00:40:04.230 decision of your life, leave it in the hands 00:40:04.230 --> 00:40:07.550 of a proven professional, Henry Kaplan. Henry 00:40:07.550 --> 00:40:10.750 is a global real estate agent with Century 21, 00:40:10.929 --> 00:40:14.909 celebrating his 41st year in business. No matter 00:40:14.909 --> 00:40:17.610 where you're moving, Henry has the right connections 00:40:17.610 --> 00:40:24.590 for you. You can contact Henry at 561 -427 -4888. 00:40:25.989 --> 00:40:29.159 We're out, folks. A huge thank you to our guests 00:40:29.159 --> 00:40:32.480 for sharing such incredible insights today. And 00:40:32.480 --> 00:40:35.320 of course, a big shout out to you, our amazing 00:40:35.320 --> 00:40:38.320 listeners, for tuning in and spending your time 00:40:38.320 --> 00:40:41.420 with us. If you're interested in my digital courses, 00:40:41.699 --> 00:40:44.719 being coached or having me come and talk to your 00:40:44.719 --> 00:40:48.179 company, just go to Michael and fill out the 00:40:48.179 --> 00:40:51.780 request form. Remember, networking isn't about 00:40:51.780 --> 00:40:55.480 being perfect. It's about being present. So take 00:40:55.480 --> 00:40:58.030 what you've learned today. get out there, and 00:40:58.030 --> 00:41:00.969 make some meaningful connections. If you've enjoyed 00:41:00.969 --> 00:41:03.670 this episode, please don't forget to subscribe, 00:41:03.889 --> 00:41:06.730 leave us a review, and share it with someone 00:41:06.730 --> 00:41:08.789 who could use a little networking inspiration. 00:41:09.610 --> 00:41:12.710 Let's keep the conversation going. You can find 00:41:12.710 --> 00:41:17.050 me on Apple, Spotify, Pandora, YouTube, or my 00:41:17.050 --> 00:41:20.929 website, foreman .com slash podcasts.