WEBVTT 00:00:14.759 --> 00:00:17.579 Do you ever notice how the smallest conversation 00:00:17.579 --> 00:00:21.339 can change the shape of your life if you know 00:00:21.339 --> 00:00:25.339 what to listen for? Welcome to Networking Unleashed, 00:00:25.379 --> 00:00:28.039 building profitable connections. I'm Michael 00:00:28.039 --> 00:00:31.500 Foreman. On this show, we don't collect business 00:00:31.500 --> 00:00:35.240 cards. We learn to start conversations that matter, 00:00:35.359 --> 00:00:39.320 create trust that lasts, and turn human moments 00:00:39.320 --> 00:00:42.890 into measurable value. Today's episode peels 00:00:42.890 --> 00:00:46.810 back the mechanics of real connection. Not tricks, 00:00:46.929 --> 00:00:51.189 not scripts, but the mindset that moves you and 00:00:51.189 --> 00:00:54.929 lets you influence, serve and grow without sounding 00:00:54.929 --> 00:00:58.289 like a salesperson. If you want fewer awkward 00:00:58.289 --> 00:01:01.570 small talk sessions and more conversations that 00:01:01.570 --> 00:01:04.829 open doors, you're in the right place. Stay curious, 00:01:05.069 --> 00:01:09.290 take one idea, use it today and watch what happens 00:01:09.290 --> 00:01:12.959 tomorrow. I'd like to welcome to the podcast 00:01:12.959 --> 00:01:17.340 Grace Gavin. She has a remarkable background, 00:01:17.579 --> 00:01:20.459 but I'll let her tell you her background. Grace, 00:01:20.540 --> 00:01:23.780 welcome to the podcast. Michael, thanks so much 00:01:23.780 --> 00:01:26.680 for having me. I'm excited for whatever conversation 00:01:26.680 --> 00:01:30.280 we get into today. Good. So give us a little 00:01:30.280 --> 00:01:33.579 bit about your background. Yeah, so I am the 00:01:33.579 --> 00:01:37.459 co -founder and co -author of a book and company 00:01:37.459 --> 00:01:40.340 by the same name, No Honesty. And for those who 00:01:40.340 --> 00:01:43.680 are listening, that's K -N -O -W, not N -O, but 00:01:43.680 --> 00:01:45.500 a little bit of play on words there. And what 00:01:45.500 --> 00:01:48.140 we really focus on as an organization is changing 00:01:48.140 --> 00:01:51.340 how the world communicates one conversation at 00:01:51.340 --> 00:01:54.540 a time. And I think that really plays into what 00:01:54.540 --> 00:01:55.900 we're going to talk about here today, especially 00:01:55.900 --> 00:01:58.120 when it comes to networking and having those 00:01:58.120 --> 00:02:03.010 conversations. helping people master communication. 00:02:03.510 --> 00:02:06.769 And how I got into that is I got a business education 00:02:06.769 --> 00:02:09.030 very young in my life. I grew up in a family 00:02:09.030 --> 00:02:12.009 business. Half our kitchen table was the accounting 00:02:12.009 --> 00:02:15.090 department. The door you walked into in the house 00:02:15.090 --> 00:02:17.689 was also the office. So I would walk in and my 00:02:17.689 --> 00:02:20.509 dad would be having business conversations with 00:02:20.509 --> 00:02:23.189 our insurance broker or our seed salesman, things 00:02:23.189 --> 00:02:25.150 like that, or with employees. We had a family 00:02:25.150 --> 00:02:28.340 -owned dairy farm. Got an education very young 00:02:28.340 --> 00:02:31.340 in the importance of business and networking 00:02:31.340 --> 00:02:34.599 and all of those pieces. And then from there, 00:02:34.620 --> 00:02:36.860 years later in my professional life, I partnered 00:02:36.860 --> 00:02:39.819 with a gentleman who's now co -author with me 00:02:39.819 --> 00:02:41.580 on the book, founder of the business. His name 00:02:41.580 --> 00:02:44.180 is Ken Bogard, but we were helping teams at the 00:02:44.180 --> 00:02:48.550 time implement EOS. And what we found, if anybody's 00:02:48.550 --> 00:02:50.729 familiar with EOS, it's the entrepreneur operating 00:02:50.729 --> 00:02:53.009 system. And it's this proven system for running 00:02:53.009 --> 00:02:55.090 your business on. But what we kept finding over 00:02:55.090 --> 00:02:58.629 and over again is that teams would work to implement 00:02:58.629 --> 00:03:01.669 this proven system, thousands upon tens of thousands 00:03:01.669 --> 00:03:04.460 of businesses running on it. But they would still 00:03:04.460 --> 00:03:07.500 really struggle and it would be difficult to 00:03:07.500 --> 00:03:09.860 implement this system. Things wouldn't move nearly 00:03:09.860 --> 00:03:12.580 as quickly. And we just were like, OK, what's 00:03:12.580 --> 00:03:14.979 going on here? What's happening? And what really 00:03:14.979 --> 00:03:17.300 it came down to, what we found, it was the team's 00:03:17.300 --> 00:03:20.479 ability or in this case, inability to communicate. 00:03:21.560 --> 00:03:24.680 And that was the foundation of every issue. And 00:03:24.680 --> 00:03:26.159 so looking at that, we said, all right, we got 00:03:26.159 --> 00:03:29.280 to help leaders develop the skill. communication. 00:03:29.719 --> 00:03:32.939 Because a lot of times we think that because 00:03:32.939 --> 00:03:36.120 we as human beings can talk, we have words that 00:03:36.120 --> 00:03:38.780 we use, that we can communicate. But it's really 00:03:38.780 --> 00:03:42.599 a skill to be developed, especially if you want 00:03:42.599 --> 00:03:44.520 to be a high performing individual or high performing 00:03:44.520 --> 00:03:48.699 team. Which leads us into the work that I do 00:03:48.699 --> 00:03:51.560 today, working with teams to master communication. 00:03:51.860 --> 00:03:55.699 And we do that through simple, tangible, and 00:03:55.699 --> 00:03:58.360 implementable practices. Maybe we'll get into 00:03:58.360 --> 00:04:00.099 that a little bit here today, but that's the 00:04:00.099 --> 00:04:02.180 long and short of my background, Michael. It 00:04:02.180 --> 00:04:05.020 sounds very apropos to what we're talking about 00:04:05.020 --> 00:04:09.539 today. I do workshops, I do conferences, I go 00:04:09.539 --> 00:04:14.080 into big businesses, and I teach networking and 00:04:14.080 --> 00:04:18.160 communication, but... I coach the C -suite executives 00:04:18.160 --> 00:04:21.699 about the communication because everything rolls 00:04:21.699 --> 00:04:25.519 downhill. So if I teach just the people who are 00:04:25.519 --> 00:04:28.720 doing the job one thing, but I leave the C -suite 00:04:28.720 --> 00:04:31.379 executives alone, then they're just going to 00:04:31.379 --> 00:04:33.920 do the same thing they've always done and they're 00:04:33.920 --> 00:04:36.000 not going to go anywhere. So that's just what 00:04:36.000 --> 00:04:39.420 I do also. Okay, so let's jump into the first 00:04:39.420 --> 00:04:43.720 question. What first taught you that connection? 00:04:44.300 --> 00:04:48.100 not selling or strategy, is the real -time engine 00:04:48.100 --> 00:04:53.240 behind your success, and can you share one moment 00:04:53.240 --> 00:04:58.439 that the idea changed everything for you? Yeah, 00:04:58.519 --> 00:05:05.079 one moment. I think when I first started years 00:05:05.079 --> 00:05:08.259 ago, Michael, in my professional career, I started 00:05:08.259 --> 00:05:11.620 out going to networking events, and it was part 00:05:11.620 --> 00:05:17.339 of my job. And I had never really been to networking 00:05:17.339 --> 00:05:19.939 events prior to that. I was new in the professional 00:05:19.939 --> 00:05:22.920 world. And so I showed up to these events and 00:05:22.920 --> 00:05:27.040 what I saw and what I thought I had to be was 00:05:27.040 --> 00:05:29.660 this perfect version of a business person. And 00:05:29.660 --> 00:05:32.670 I say that in quotes. There wasn't any. I certainly 00:05:32.670 --> 00:05:34.610 didn't talk to you before I was there. And so 00:05:34.610 --> 00:05:37.170 I just thought, okay, I guess this is what we 00:05:37.170 --> 00:05:39.810 do. We wear the uncomfortable blazers and the 00:05:39.810 --> 00:05:42.269 uncomfortable shoes and we have the boring conversation 00:05:42.269 --> 00:05:45.569 that you know how it goes. How are you? Good. 00:05:46.009 --> 00:05:51.449 How are you? Good. What do you do? It was terrible. 00:05:51.490 --> 00:05:55.769 And I just, I didn't love them and I didn't look 00:05:55.769 --> 00:05:57.670 forward to them, but I had to go to them as part 00:05:57.670 --> 00:06:00.819 of my job. And so what I noticed was happening 00:06:00.819 --> 00:06:03.439 is that I would see a networking event on my 00:06:03.439 --> 00:06:06.040 calendar and I would get this feeling of dread. 00:06:06.180 --> 00:06:08.959 Oh, I do not want to go to this. And I would 00:06:08.959 --> 00:06:11.259 show up just in time for it starting. Some events 00:06:11.259 --> 00:06:14.360 have like pre -event networking. I was not there, 00:06:14.459 --> 00:06:17.139 not interested in that by any means. And then 00:06:17.139 --> 00:06:19.100 I was out of there as soon as it was done, because 00:06:19.100 --> 00:06:22.579 what I found is that it was exhausting for me. 00:06:23.310 --> 00:06:26.350 It was exhausting my energy. And I never really 00:06:26.350 --> 00:06:29.470 made any great business connections coming out 00:06:29.470 --> 00:06:34.069 of that. And so I was like, okay, I identify 00:06:34.069 --> 00:06:36.029 as a problem solver. And I thought, this is a 00:06:36.029 --> 00:06:38.649 problem. This is something that I know I'm going 00:06:38.649 --> 00:06:41.350 to continue to do in my career, most likely. 00:06:42.149 --> 00:06:45.170 This isn't working. It's draining my energy. 00:06:45.269 --> 00:06:47.689 I'm not making any good business or any kind 00:06:47.689 --> 00:06:49.649 of connections coming out of it. So what's going 00:06:49.649 --> 00:06:52.509 on here? And this is actually one of the practices 00:06:52.509 --> 00:06:54.350 that I talk about and teach with my leaders. 00:06:54.430 --> 00:06:56.870 But what was happening for me in these networking 00:06:56.870 --> 00:07:00.329 events is I was showing up as fake you. So fake 00:07:00.329 --> 00:07:02.990 you is one of our practices. And that's what 00:07:02.990 --> 00:07:06.629 was happening that whole time. I'm not a perfect 00:07:06.629 --> 00:07:09.540 version of a business person. I can tell you 00:07:09.540 --> 00:07:11.399 that for certain, but I can also tell you that 00:07:11.399 --> 00:07:12.980 because it doesn't exist. There's no such thing 00:07:12.980 --> 00:07:15.759 as perfection. But I wasn't in conversations 00:07:15.759 --> 00:07:18.439 that I was interested in. I wasn't making genuine 00:07:18.439 --> 00:07:21.180 connections with people. And so, of course, there 00:07:21.180 --> 00:07:23.899 wasn't that trust. There wasn't the connection 00:07:23.899 --> 00:07:26.300 that needed to happen for people to really trust 00:07:26.300 --> 00:07:28.839 me and to do business with me. So I was like, 00:07:28.920 --> 00:07:32.050 okay. That was the aha. That's what was going 00:07:32.050 --> 00:07:34.470 on. And so I started to shift in the way that 00:07:34.470 --> 00:07:37.209 I showed up still in my professional attire, 00:07:37.209 --> 00:07:39.709 but I showed up in clothing that was comfortable, 00:07:39.810 --> 00:07:41.670 that I felt like I didn't have to think about 00:07:41.670 --> 00:07:44.310 what I was wearing. I started to ask questions 00:07:44.310 --> 00:07:46.750 about, okay, how did you get into this industry? 00:07:46.829 --> 00:07:49.410 Or what is it that drives you to do this work? 00:07:49.870 --> 00:07:52.389 Let them ask questions of me back in that way. 00:07:52.449 --> 00:07:54.540 And in that way, I could tell a full story. of 00:07:54.540 --> 00:07:56.699 the business that I was doing and not just a, 00:07:56.759 --> 00:07:59.600 here's what I do in a robot type of sense. And 00:07:59.600 --> 00:08:02.420 that, Michael, changed everything. Because not 00:08:02.420 --> 00:08:05.300 only was I making those real connections, but 00:08:05.300 --> 00:08:07.939 I was also enjoying myself. I was showing up 00:08:07.939 --> 00:08:11.279 with a much, I feel, lighter air. And people 00:08:11.279 --> 00:08:13.160 are more attracted to that. And they want to 00:08:13.160 --> 00:08:14.939 have conversations with individuals like that. 00:08:15.100 --> 00:08:17.480 Not the same tired, how are you? Good, good. 00:08:17.560 --> 00:08:20.199 What do you do? Nobody wants to do that, but 00:08:20.199 --> 00:08:23.199 we all default to it for some reason. That's... 00:08:23.519 --> 00:08:26.300 in a nutshell, what I would say to that. What 00:08:26.300 --> 00:08:30.579 you finally got to is your authenticity, your 00:08:30.579 --> 00:08:35.200 authentic self. And the way that you handle networking 00:08:35.200 --> 00:08:39.539 events or networking as a whole, you don't go 00:08:39.539 --> 00:08:42.379 in there with business in mind. It's contrary 00:08:42.379 --> 00:08:45.080 to popular belief. But you go in there with a 00:08:45.080 --> 00:08:48.340 servant's heart. You go in there speaking to 00:08:48.340 --> 00:08:51.779 the other people about how you can solve. their 00:08:51.779 --> 00:08:54.899 problem. Without you even saying what you are 00:08:54.899 --> 00:08:59.139 doing there, what your business is, you have, 00:08:59.220 --> 00:09:03.039 and I use something called FORM, family, occupation, 00:09:03.460 --> 00:09:07.519 recreation, and a message. And you pick any one 00:09:07.519 --> 00:09:09.980 of the above because everybody loves to talk 00:09:09.980 --> 00:09:13.059 about themselves. And when you get the other 00:09:13.059 --> 00:09:15.779 person to talk about themselves, you're taking 00:09:15.779 --> 00:09:18.879 all the pressure off yourself. You can be your 00:09:18.879 --> 00:09:22.139 authentic self and you listen to them. The father, 00:09:22.159 --> 00:09:25.340 mother, sister, brother, aunt, uncle, son, daughter, 00:09:25.419 --> 00:09:28.100 whatever. Or what do you like to do? You like 00:09:28.100 --> 00:09:30.340 to go skiing? Oh, so do I. Like to go boating? 00:09:30.460 --> 00:09:32.559 Oh, that's great. Like to play baseball? So do 00:09:32.559 --> 00:09:35.919 I. Football? Yeah, so do I. Get somewhere on 00:09:35.919 --> 00:09:39.259 the same playing field and then talk about it. 00:09:39.539 --> 00:09:43.019 You shouldn't, whatever meeting you have, you 00:09:43.019 --> 00:09:45.240 shouldn't talk business for the first 10 minutes. 00:09:46.029 --> 00:09:49.549 It should be completely different. And that just 00:09:49.549 --> 00:09:52.210 takes all the pressure off your shoulders. You 00:09:52.210 --> 00:09:55.330 enjoy the networking events. When I go, I'm the 00:09:55.330 --> 00:09:56.950 first one there and I'm the last one to leave 00:09:56.950 --> 00:10:00.710 because I'm enjoying myself so much that I'm 00:10:00.710 --> 00:10:03.570 talking to everybody. And we'll get into that 00:10:03.570 --> 00:10:08.629 later on. Okay, so you often say real connection. 00:10:09.549 --> 00:10:13.090 How do you define it? And how can someone tell 00:10:13.090 --> 00:10:16.909 if they're creating it? Or faking it. Yeah. So 00:10:16.909 --> 00:10:20.990 real, right? What we talk about is that connection, 00:10:21.090 --> 00:10:23.809 the communication, really how we create connections 00:10:23.809 --> 00:10:26.889 through communication as human beings. And so 00:10:26.889 --> 00:10:29.750 what I emphasize with clients is it's not just 00:10:29.750 --> 00:10:32.769 communication for communication's sake. Because 00:10:32.769 --> 00:10:36.080 if a leader thinks about their... We know that 00:10:36.080 --> 00:10:38.720 they spend about 88 % of their weeks communicating. 00:10:39.460 --> 00:10:41.700 And so it's not just let's add more communication 00:10:41.700 --> 00:10:44.200 for communication's sake, but we want it to be 00:10:44.200 --> 00:10:46.740 real. We want it to be the conversations that 00:10:46.740 --> 00:10:48.779 change, that move the needle, that make a difference. 00:10:49.379 --> 00:10:51.399 And so, Michael, what we really found in our 00:10:51.399 --> 00:10:53.679 research when we were looking at, all right, 00:10:53.720 --> 00:10:55.779 communication is a skill that leaders need. This 00:10:55.779 --> 00:10:58.320 is how do we help them develop that? What we 00:10:58.320 --> 00:11:01.840 really found within there was it's two foundational 00:11:01.840 --> 00:11:05.370 skills of communication. And keeping it real 00:11:05.370 --> 00:11:09.490 simple, the two skills are open and honest. Now, 00:11:09.490 --> 00:11:11.429 a lot of times those two words get squished together 00:11:11.429 --> 00:11:15.509 and we take it to just be about ourselves. But 00:11:15.509 --> 00:11:17.710 they are two very different words, two very different 00:11:17.710 --> 00:11:20.850 skills. And so to get to that real connection, 00:11:20.929 --> 00:11:23.210 that real communication, we need both. But we 00:11:23.210 --> 00:11:25.669 need to think about them completely separate 00:11:25.669 --> 00:11:29.129 of each other. And so honesty as we define it 00:11:29.129 --> 00:11:31.649 is being truly and freely yourself, speaking 00:11:31.649 --> 00:11:34.149 into what you want and how you feel. So that's 00:11:34.149 --> 00:11:35.710 the authenticity piece that we already talked 00:11:35.710 --> 00:11:37.730 about, right? People can pick up on that pretty 00:11:37.730 --> 00:11:40.610 quickly if you're not being authentic. It's just 00:11:40.610 --> 00:11:42.470 something that we can sense as human beings. 00:11:42.649 --> 00:11:44.850 But then on the other side of it, the question 00:11:44.850 --> 00:11:47.690 becomes, I think it's pretty clear we all want 00:11:47.690 --> 00:11:50.269 to be authentic. That's the most ideal state. 00:11:50.350 --> 00:11:52.570 We all want to be honest. We all want to say 00:11:52.570 --> 00:11:55.389 what we think, how we feel, be truly and freely 00:11:55.389 --> 00:11:57.490 ourselves. So then the question for us became, 00:11:57.590 --> 00:11:59.970 why doesn't that happen? What is it that holds 00:11:59.970 --> 00:12:03.389 us back? Why do we have to talk about? being 00:12:03.389 --> 00:12:05.610 honest or being authentic as being the brave 00:12:05.610 --> 00:12:08.570 thing or being courageous when it should just, 00:12:08.629 --> 00:12:11.570 when it should ideally just be our default. And 00:12:11.570 --> 00:12:14.250 so what we really found in the research and what 00:12:14.250 --> 00:12:17.649 we were looking at this is that there was a lack 00:12:17.649 --> 00:12:22.450 of openness or at least a perceived lack of openness. 00:12:23.250 --> 00:12:25.750 And now openness is something that we take and 00:12:25.750 --> 00:12:29.110 we we flip what we mean by that. So a lot of 00:12:29.110 --> 00:12:31.210 times people will take openness as being an open 00:12:31.210 --> 00:12:34.210 book or being transparent. To me, that's still 00:12:34.210 --> 00:12:35.929 wrapped up in the honesty side of things. It's 00:12:35.929 --> 00:12:37.870 still about me, myself, and I. But if we're going 00:12:37.870 --> 00:12:39.929 to have real connection, real communication going 00:12:39.929 --> 00:12:42.590 back and forth, what we need on the other side 00:12:42.590 --> 00:12:45.289 is the openness as we define it, which is listening 00:12:45.289 --> 00:12:48.350 without reservation, putting your needs and wants 00:12:48.350 --> 00:12:51.289 on pause for someone else. So we think about 00:12:51.289 --> 00:12:52.830 in that networking example that you're talking 00:12:52.830 --> 00:12:56.719 about, your need or your want is to have business 00:12:56.719 --> 00:12:59.559 come out of it right some type of revenue generation 00:12:59.559 --> 00:13:04.000 but how do we really be in service of another 00:13:04.000 --> 00:13:06.500 person how do we help them we pause that need 00:13:06.500 --> 00:13:08.860 that want for a moment and we really hear what 00:13:08.860 --> 00:13:10.639 the other person is saying we're looking for 00:13:10.639 --> 00:13:12.740 what do they really need how do i help them how 00:13:12.740 --> 00:13:16.000 do i understand them best and in that way when 00:13:16.000 --> 00:13:18.299 you have that exchange going on where i'm able 00:13:18.299 --> 00:13:20.580 to be 100 honest with you michael you're 100 00:13:20.580 --> 00:13:24.460 open to it and i trust that And then back, you're 00:13:24.460 --> 00:13:26.940 100 % honest with me because I'm 100 % honest 00:13:26.940 --> 00:13:30.139 to it. Man, can we really get some stuff done? 00:13:30.220 --> 00:13:32.259 Can we really make a real genuine connection 00:13:32.259 --> 00:13:35.919 there? That's the two pieces of it. So simple, 00:13:36.019 --> 00:13:41.159 yet so sometimes difficult to do and not talked 00:13:41.159 --> 00:13:43.179 about nearly enough, which is why I do what I 00:13:43.179 --> 00:13:48.720 do. I think that people try to do it so hard 00:13:48.720 --> 00:13:53.360 that they wound up faking it. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. 00:13:53.840 --> 00:14:00.000 I think we're told to listen, but we're not really 00:14:00.000 --> 00:14:04.860 taught how to listen. And so that can look like 00:14:04.860 --> 00:14:06.799 we're performing the ways of listening, like 00:14:06.799 --> 00:14:09.100 doing a lot of head nodding and doing that. Actually, 00:14:09.279 --> 00:14:12.519 it's just interrupting somebody and that's performing 00:14:12.519 --> 00:14:15.629 the listening versus. actually listening to them, 00:14:15.649 --> 00:14:18.230 making that genuine eye contact? Are you really 00:14:18.230 --> 00:14:20.370 hearing what they have to say? Are you just waiting 00:14:20.370 --> 00:14:23.750 for your next opportunity to speak? Even if that 00:14:23.750 --> 00:14:25.750 next opportunity is a question you're going to 00:14:25.750 --> 00:14:29.129 ask, that still means that you're thinking about 00:14:29.129 --> 00:14:31.129 that question rather than listening to what they're 00:14:31.129 --> 00:14:34.429 actually saying. True. And that's actually called 00:14:34.429 --> 00:14:38.450 active listening because you need to listen to 00:14:38.450 --> 00:14:42.500 the person you're speaking with 100%. nothing 00:14:42.500 --> 00:14:46.240 else, and you need to, after they say it, you 00:14:46.240 --> 00:14:49.240 recite some of it back to them to say, okay, 00:14:49.279 --> 00:14:52.700 so I understand it that you were saying this, 00:14:52.840 --> 00:14:54.740 you're in need of that, or whatever the case 00:14:54.740 --> 00:14:57.519 may be, to show them that you were listening 00:14:57.519 --> 00:15:01.679 by 100%, right? So you can have a true interactive 00:15:01.679 --> 00:15:05.159 conversation about whatever the conversation 00:15:05.159 --> 00:15:09.820 was, right? So that is active listening. Okay. 00:15:10.399 --> 00:15:15.159 So what are the three daily habits or micro routines 00:15:15.159 --> 00:15:18.360 you practice that keeps your communication sharp 00:15:18.360 --> 00:15:21.500 and authentic? The first one is one of the practices 00:15:21.500 --> 00:15:24.559 we teach to clients, which is the agreement. 00:15:24.720 --> 00:15:28.919 So it's a simple proven script to start any conversation 00:15:28.919 --> 00:15:30.539 that's going to get you to real communication 00:15:30.539 --> 00:15:33.659 so much faster. For the audience listening, I 00:15:33.659 --> 00:15:38.029 highly recommend you write this next. phrase 00:15:38.029 --> 00:15:40.450 down because it's the agreement and it's gold. 00:15:40.509 --> 00:15:42.029 I'm going to give it to you in full. So here, 00:15:42.129 --> 00:15:43.750 Michael, we're going to do it together. Okay. 00:15:43.789 --> 00:15:47.370 You don't have to do anything, but here we go. 00:15:47.789 --> 00:15:49.750 Will you agree with me on how we're going to 00:15:49.750 --> 00:15:51.830 communicate? I want you to be a hundred percent 00:15:51.830 --> 00:15:54.350 honest, meaning I want you to be truly and freely 00:15:54.350 --> 00:15:56.799 yourself. speaking into what you want and how 00:15:56.799 --> 00:15:59.919 you feel. I promise I'll be 100 % open to it. 00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:02.340 I will listen without reservation. I'll put my 00:16:02.340 --> 00:16:05.419 needs and wants on pause for you. And in return, 00:16:05.740 --> 00:16:07.960 I'll be honest with you and I ask that you be 00:16:07.960 --> 00:16:11.379 completely open to it. Sound good? Sounds good. 00:16:12.039 --> 00:16:14.340 That's the entire agreement. You use that every 00:16:14.340 --> 00:16:17.860 single day, man. your relationships will transform. 00:16:18.340 --> 00:16:20.799 I use it with my team. I teach it to all of my 00:16:20.799 --> 00:16:22.759 clients. I have them use it. We use it with all 00:16:22.759 --> 00:16:24.759 of our third -party vendors within our business 00:16:24.759 --> 00:16:28.379 and it has transformed the level of conversation 00:16:28.379 --> 00:16:31.059 that we get to have because we get past all the 00:16:31.059 --> 00:16:34.360 fluff so much faster and we get down to the root 00:16:34.360 --> 00:16:36.139 of the real issue happening. So that's number 00:16:36.139 --> 00:16:40.000 one. Number two and number three tie together 00:16:40.000 --> 00:16:42.200 a little bit, but I think about these are two 00:16:42.200 --> 00:16:45.299 other practices that we teach clients. And I 00:16:45.299 --> 00:16:47.899 think about what gets in the way of communication. 00:16:48.460 --> 00:16:51.919 And there's a whole list of things that I could 00:16:51.919 --> 00:16:54.200 give you, but it's really these two things. And 00:16:54.200 --> 00:16:56.320 it is fake you that we already talked about. 00:16:56.480 --> 00:16:59.080 When you're projecting that facade, it is getting 00:16:59.080 --> 00:17:01.259 in the way of real genuine connection and people 00:17:01.259 --> 00:17:04.220 can sense that. And then the other thing is the 00:17:04.220 --> 00:17:06.980 wall. And so the wall is the divide we put between 00:17:06.980 --> 00:17:09.380 ourselves and others rather than being 100 % 00:17:09.380 --> 00:17:12.759 open. So think about when you are not listening 00:17:12.759 --> 00:17:16.220 to somebody, what essentially you are doing to 00:17:16.220 --> 00:17:20.380 them is you are putting up a giant brick wall 00:17:20.380 --> 00:17:23.039 between you and them. And what is going to happen 00:17:23.039 --> 00:17:25.880 to your conversation there? So those are two 00:17:25.880 --> 00:17:28.400 things that I look out for on a daily basis in 00:17:28.400 --> 00:17:30.960 this conversation. Am I being a fake version 00:17:30.960 --> 00:17:34.200 of myself? And why is that? What's going on there? 00:17:34.640 --> 00:17:36.799 In this conversation, am I putting up the wall? 00:17:36.980 --> 00:17:38.779 Do I really not want to hear what this person 00:17:38.779 --> 00:17:40.799 has to say? Am I not engaged? Am I not interested? 00:17:41.660 --> 00:17:44.380 What's going on there? Why is that happening? 00:17:44.519 --> 00:17:46.680 And we're digging into that every single day. 00:17:47.200 --> 00:17:50.220 And so those are the three. The agreement, start 00:17:50.220 --> 00:17:52.559 your conversation off on the right foot. And 00:17:52.559 --> 00:17:55.160 then, which inevitably will happen if we fall 00:17:55.160 --> 00:17:58.960 short of 100 % honest or 100 % open. We got to 00:17:58.960 --> 00:18:00.920 look at what's going on there. Where's fake you 00:18:00.920 --> 00:18:03.279 popping up? Where's the wall popping up? And 00:18:03.279 --> 00:18:04.960 so those are the ways that I think about it to 00:18:04.960 --> 00:18:09.140 keep it so simple, but in front of me still. 00:18:09.880 --> 00:18:13.579 It goes right along with the networking that 00:18:13.579 --> 00:18:15.319 you're trying to get everybody to wrap their 00:18:15.319 --> 00:18:17.859 head around. And it's very simple. It's the old 00:18:17.859 --> 00:18:20.660 saying, know you like you trust you. They'll 00:18:20.660 --> 00:18:23.160 do business with you. Everybody will know you. 00:18:23.519 --> 00:18:26.579 You're a nice person. Not everybody's going to 00:18:26.579 --> 00:18:28.779 like you. That kind of narrows the field down. 00:18:28.900 --> 00:18:31.680 But that wall that you were talking about, that 00:18:31.680 --> 00:18:35.339 wall is always right in front of the trust. And 00:18:35.339 --> 00:18:38.779 as you're speaking with them authentically and 00:18:38.779 --> 00:18:41.440 you're having them tell you what they like and 00:18:41.440 --> 00:18:43.819 everything else, talking about themselves, that 00:18:43.819 --> 00:18:47.299 wall is coming down and that trust factor is 00:18:47.299 --> 00:18:50.900 going up. And then you can begin to do business. 00:18:51.549 --> 00:18:54.089 and not before. Some people try to put the cart 00:18:54.089 --> 00:18:56.789 before the horse, and they walk into a networking 00:18:56.789 --> 00:19:00.069 event. Hi, I'm Mike Forman. I do this. I really 00:19:00.069 --> 00:19:03.190 don't care. I'm not here for that. And you move 00:19:03.190 --> 00:19:07.329 on. But okay. So let's go with listening versus 00:19:07.329 --> 00:19:12.789 talking. Most people, listening matters. What 00:19:12.789 --> 00:19:17.569 specific listening skill separates average networkers 00:19:17.569 --> 00:19:22.109 from exceptional ones? That is a fantastic question. 00:19:23.289 --> 00:19:27.910 I think I'm going to go with a personal example 00:19:27.910 --> 00:19:31.049 for me, but it goes back to what we were talking 00:19:31.049 --> 00:19:33.970 about before. What I find is I get so excited 00:19:33.970 --> 00:19:35.990 when I talk to somebody and I ask them so many 00:19:35.990 --> 00:19:39.049 questions and they'll say something and I'm like, 00:19:39.109 --> 00:19:40.490 oh, I got a question about that, but they're 00:19:40.490 --> 00:19:42.430 not done speaking yet. And so now I'm thinking 00:19:42.430 --> 00:19:44.109 I got to ask him this question because I'm really 00:19:44.109 --> 00:19:46.910 interested in this. And I miss the second half 00:19:46.910 --> 00:19:51.140 of everything that they say. And so really exercising 00:19:51.140 --> 00:19:55.180 that muscle. I really believe it's a muscle of 00:19:55.180 --> 00:19:58.319 pausing that voice in your brain that's constantly 00:19:58.319 --> 00:20:00.440 coming up with questions or comments or things 00:20:00.440 --> 00:20:04.700 that you could say to really hear what the individual 00:20:04.700 --> 00:20:08.299 is saying all the way through. I think the most 00:20:08.299 --> 00:20:12.599 powerful thing is a pause. At the end of when 00:20:12.599 --> 00:20:14.599 somebody speaks, it doesn't have to be a long 00:20:14.599 --> 00:20:17.079 one, like half a second long, but what that really 00:20:17.079 --> 00:20:19.220 is your brain fully processing what they had 00:20:19.220 --> 00:20:21.700 to say. And then you'll have a great question 00:20:21.700 --> 00:20:23.859 after that or a comment or something like that. 00:20:23.940 --> 00:20:26.500 Your brain will come up with it, I promise you. 00:20:26.839 --> 00:20:29.339 But practicing that skill is something that I 00:20:29.339 --> 00:20:34.559 work on actively because otherwise I feel like 00:20:34.559 --> 00:20:36.460 I end up brushing them through whatever they 00:20:36.460 --> 00:20:37.799 were going to say and they don't actually feel 00:20:37.799 --> 00:20:40.019 heard, but I'm trying to help them feel heard. 00:20:40.329 --> 00:20:44.109 By asking another question. That's so on point. 00:20:44.650 --> 00:20:48.250 This all goes back to the active listening. And 00:20:48.250 --> 00:20:51.230 the most important part about the listening is 00:20:51.230 --> 00:20:56.690 the pause. And nobody evaluates that pause like 00:20:56.690 --> 00:20:59.369 it's something important. But it's probably the 00:20:59.369 --> 00:21:03.349 most important part of listening. So you're right 00:21:03.349 --> 00:21:07.190 on point with that. Okay. How do you balance 00:21:07.190 --> 00:21:11.160 being open? I'm sorry. How do you balance being 00:21:11.160 --> 00:21:14.440 open enough to build trust while protecting your 00:21:14.440 --> 00:21:20.000 time and energy? The time and energy, man, that 00:21:20.000 --> 00:21:24.819 is, I think that is an ongoing evaluation that 00:21:24.819 --> 00:21:28.980 I do. And so I think about, for me, it's important 00:21:28.980 --> 00:21:32.240 where I show up consistently. So consistency 00:21:32.240 --> 00:21:34.700 is an important part of trust for what I do and 00:21:34.700 --> 00:21:37.930 what I build with people. But that also means 00:21:37.930 --> 00:21:43.069 that sometimes I can show up in spaces multiple 00:21:43.069 --> 00:21:47.069 times that aren't a place where I'm adding value 00:21:47.069 --> 00:21:49.529 or that is adding value for what I'm looking 00:21:49.529 --> 00:21:52.589 for as well. And so I think that's a consistent 00:21:52.589 --> 00:21:55.289 practice that I have asking, am I adding value 00:21:55.289 --> 00:21:59.069 here? Is the value on the other side making sense? 00:21:59.849 --> 00:22:04.559 So I think that is a key part of it. That is 00:22:04.559 --> 00:22:07.680 a key part of it. And when you said adding value 00:22:07.680 --> 00:22:11.359 to the conversation, to what you're doing, is 00:22:11.359 --> 00:22:15.579 whenever somebody perceives you giving value 00:22:15.579 --> 00:22:18.359 to the conversation or to what you're doing, 00:22:18.519 --> 00:22:21.420 then they'll listen. If they don't perceive you 00:22:21.420 --> 00:22:24.579 giving value to it, they turn you off. They'll 00:22:24.579 --> 00:22:27.660 say, okay, who's next? So that's very much on 00:22:27.660 --> 00:22:30.059 point. I don't keep saying on point. I shouldn't 00:22:30.059 --> 00:22:33.119 keep saying on point, but it's on point. The 00:22:33.119 --> 00:22:35.980 other thing too, Michael, that I had here, when 00:22:35.980 --> 00:22:38.680 we look at, we have an assessment that measures 00:22:38.680 --> 00:22:40.660 people's ability to be honest and to be open. 00:22:40.980 --> 00:22:43.359 And then we break it down further into your personal 00:22:43.359 --> 00:22:45.119 life and your work life. Because sometimes I've 00:22:45.119 --> 00:22:46.880 been in networking events where we just got an 00:22:46.880 --> 00:22:50.859 overshare, which I think there's a place for 00:22:50.859 --> 00:22:54.839 all of it. I think about what hat am I wearing? 00:22:54.880 --> 00:22:56.819 Am I wearing my personal hat or am I wearing 00:22:56.819 --> 00:22:59.440 my professional hat? And when it comes to that, 00:22:59.460 --> 00:23:01.859 what I mean by that is, am I sharing something 00:23:01.859 --> 00:23:05.839 that helps going back to value, give value to 00:23:05.839 --> 00:23:08.599 the conversation? So for example, if somebody's 00:23:08.599 --> 00:23:11.180 sharing that they're going through a difficult 00:23:11.180 --> 00:23:16.269 time with an employee because of... XYZ example. 00:23:16.430 --> 00:23:18.329 Do I have something that I can share with that 00:23:18.329 --> 00:23:20.609 is maybe a little bit deeper than what I would 00:23:20.609 --> 00:23:22.430 have shared in the conversation previously, but 00:23:22.430 --> 00:23:24.430 it's going to help them through that. And so 00:23:24.430 --> 00:23:27.809 I think about how do I continue to add value, 00:23:27.829 --> 00:23:30.950 add that trust and share in that professional 00:23:30.950 --> 00:23:33.569 setting with what makes sense and helps us advance 00:23:33.569 --> 00:23:37.809 forward and helps them in their life too. Yeah. 00:23:37.849 --> 00:23:41.230 When you look to give value to something and 00:23:41.230 --> 00:23:44.579 don't expect anything in return. That's the key. 00:23:44.900 --> 00:23:48.180 You're just giving them an answer to their question. 00:23:48.740 --> 00:23:51.220 And you've answered it. You've helped them through 00:23:51.220 --> 00:23:54.640 it. They're undoubtedly going to ask you again 00:23:54.640 --> 00:23:58.720 or then become a client or something in between. 00:23:59.000 --> 00:24:02.460 But that's always the first step is giving value 00:24:02.460 --> 00:24:07.099 to what you're doing. Yeah. All right. Walk us 00:24:07.099 --> 00:24:10.220 through the first five minutes, the high value 00:24:10.220 --> 00:24:13.890 networking encounter. And what do you say? What 00:24:13.890 --> 00:24:20.269 do you ask? And what do you avoid? Oh, the first. 00:24:20.349 --> 00:24:26.849 Yeah. Yeah, I like these. Okay. I think about. 00:24:29.750 --> 00:24:33.490 So I get to know them a little bit. And typically 00:24:33.490 --> 00:24:36.690 what people want to jump into immediately, because 00:24:36.690 --> 00:24:38.369 we're trained on this when we go to networking 00:24:38.369 --> 00:24:40.769 events, I think, is the back to the what do you 00:24:40.769 --> 00:24:44.690 do question. And so they just jump into immediately, 00:24:44.970 --> 00:24:49.849 I'm whatever title from whatever company. Okay, 00:24:49.910 --> 00:24:52.970 fantastic. But what I want to do is I want to 00:24:52.970 --> 00:24:56.589 get a level deeper with them. For me, that's 00:24:56.589 --> 00:24:58.750 just, that's purely how I'm built is I want to 00:24:58.750 --> 00:25:01.329 know a little bit more about the person. And 00:25:01.329 --> 00:25:02.910 so I'll ask them a question around, okay, what 00:25:02.910 --> 00:25:04.890 got you into that? Or why are you passionate 00:25:04.890 --> 00:25:08.549 about it? Or a question like that, where we get 00:25:08.549 --> 00:25:12.359 to get deeper very quickly. And then from there, 00:25:12.440 --> 00:25:15.460 we follow the conversation wherever that goes. 00:25:15.740 --> 00:25:19.140 And then inevitably what I'm asking is I'm asking 00:25:19.140 --> 00:25:23.079 about what's coming next for them. And that is 00:25:23.079 --> 00:25:26.799 purely from a, how do I help them? So if there's 00:25:26.799 --> 00:25:29.059 a big project that they're thinking about, or 00:25:29.059 --> 00:25:31.240 sometimes within meeting somebody, they tell 00:25:31.240 --> 00:25:32.759 them within five minutes, they're like, yeah, 00:25:32.779 --> 00:25:34.220 I'm looking actually for a new job. I'm like, 00:25:34.279 --> 00:25:39.059 oh, okay. Good to know. And let me keep an eye 00:25:39.059 --> 00:25:41.680 out for you. Something like that. But just trying 00:25:41.680 --> 00:25:43.799 to get that level deeper so we're not in that 00:25:43.799 --> 00:25:47.140 routine conversation and I get your spiel and 00:25:47.140 --> 00:25:51.599 you get my spiel. Absolutely. And you want to 00:25:51.599 --> 00:25:54.180 stay away from those awkward conversations and 00:25:54.180 --> 00:25:57.579 stay away from those stale conversations. So 00:25:57.579 --> 00:26:00.960 it's you being you have to you can say whatever 00:26:00.960 --> 00:26:04.240 you want to say, ask any question you want, as 00:26:04.240 --> 00:26:08.539 long as it's not a default way that you are always. 00:26:09.099 --> 00:26:11.720 Being when you're in a networking group, a networking 00:26:11.720 --> 00:26:14.500 environment, you have to be the person. They're 00:26:14.500 --> 00:26:17.259 going to feel your energy. Right. You have to 00:26:17.259 --> 00:26:20.660 be up and always with a smile and saying, OK, 00:26:20.740 --> 00:26:22.920 look, you know, in your head that this person 00:26:22.920 --> 00:26:25.400 isn't going to work for you. I'm going to move 00:26:25.400 --> 00:26:27.799 on. But how are you going to move on? Are you 00:26:27.799 --> 00:26:30.660 going to politely bow out and move on to the 00:26:30.660 --> 00:26:36.539 next person? Yes. OK, but let's say that this 00:26:36.539 --> 00:26:40.279 was a failed connection. When a connection goes 00:26:40.279 --> 00:26:44.500 cold or you say the wrong thing, what's a straightforward 00:26:44.500 --> 00:26:50.660 step to repair it? I think just owning it. That 00:26:50.660 --> 00:26:54.940 came out wrong. No, it had to have been perfect. 00:26:55.160 --> 00:26:59.420 Because listen, nobody's perfect. And I've made 00:26:59.420 --> 00:27:04.900 10 ,000 mistakes in my lifetime. But one thing 00:27:04.900 --> 00:27:08.279 I've learned is you own it. You own the mistake. 00:27:08.599 --> 00:27:12.640 And so that's exactly what you do. It's up to 00:27:12.640 --> 00:27:18.460 you, but you own the mistake. Yeah. Okay. So 00:27:18.460 --> 00:27:22.420 how do you change your communication style between 00:27:22.420 --> 00:27:27.400 a boardroom and a gym class and a one -on -one 00:27:27.400 --> 00:27:31.359 coffee without losing authenticity? A boardroom, 00:27:31.359 --> 00:27:37.490 gym, coffee shop. I think about... For me, what 00:27:37.490 --> 00:27:41.349 is consistency in that? And one of the important 00:27:41.349 --> 00:27:44.049 things in my background, like I shared, was growing 00:27:44.049 --> 00:27:46.670 up in a family business. And so that translates 00:27:46.670 --> 00:27:49.849 from the boardroom when I'm talking with executives, 00:27:49.950 --> 00:27:52.509 like, yes, I've seen your struggle. I'm also 00:27:52.509 --> 00:27:55.170 in your struggle. But I've also seen it for a 00:27:55.170 --> 00:27:57.450 long historical perspective and all the problems 00:27:57.450 --> 00:27:59.789 that leaderships deal with. For me, it's an important 00:27:59.789 --> 00:28:02.289 part of my story. It's probably going to show 00:28:02.289 --> 00:28:04.529 up if I'm in the gym having a conversation and 00:28:04.529 --> 00:28:06.730 if I'm in a coffee shop having a conversation. 00:28:07.490 --> 00:28:10.049 And so figuring it out from there and always 00:28:10.049 --> 00:28:16.430 thinking about how do I tell that story and how 00:28:16.430 --> 00:28:20.430 do I keep it consistent and not cherry picking 00:28:20.430 --> 00:28:24.009 pieces out of it, but just this is who I am. 00:28:24.630 --> 00:28:28.609 It's probably cherry picking pieces depending 00:28:28.609 --> 00:28:31.319 on where you are. whether it's a boardroom or 00:28:31.319 --> 00:28:34.819 coffee shop or something like that. But I think 00:28:34.819 --> 00:28:37.440 you were right when you said cherry pick part 00:28:37.440 --> 00:28:39.740 of your story because you're telling the same 00:28:39.740 --> 00:28:43.799 story because that's how you got here and how 00:28:43.799 --> 00:28:48.000 you're going to help them. But you are who you 00:28:48.000 --> 00:28:50.559 are and you're going to cherry pick the certain 00:28:50.559 --> 00:28:54.299 sections that you feel is the right move for 00:28:54.299 --> 00:28:58.240 the venue. And I think the other part too, Michael, 00:28:58.299 --> 00:29:02.769 for me is. Where I think it's important and where 00:29:02.769 --> 00:29:06.009 I lose people, maybe people get confused in the 00:29:06.009 --> 00:29:09.769 cherry picking, is I'm not telling the perfectly 00:29:09.769 --> 00:29:14.230 polished stories. I'm telling you about how we 00:29:14.230 --> 00:29:16.539 didn't communicate well. in the business. Or 00:29:16.539 --> 00:29:19.460 I'm telling you about how another client of mine, 00:29:19.480 --> 00:29:21.619 protecting their anonymity a little bit, but 00:29:21.619 --> 00:29:23.519 telling them another story of where they didn't 00:29:23.519 --> 00:29:26.319 do so well when it came to communication. I'm 00:29:26.319 --> 00:29:29.099 not just giving the glossy versions of things. 00:29:29.279 --> 00:29:31.559 And for me and my leadership, that's really important 00:29:31.559 --> 00:29:34.440 because I need leaders to know that, especially 00:29:34.440 --> 00:29:36.440 as I'm helping them develop these skills, that 00:29:36.440 --> 00:29:39.019 they're going to get it wrong and it's going 00:29:39.019 --> 00:29:41.579 to be messy. And that's part of leadership. And 00:29:41.579 --> 00:29:45.359 that's really part of being a human being. When 00:29:45.359 --> 00:29:47.200 we get into leadership, we get this weird idea 00:29:47.200 --> 00:29:49.880 that we have to show up perfectly. And that's 00:29:49.880 --> 00:29:52.019 not the case. And so whatever story I'm telling, 00:29:52.240 --> 00:29:55.019 wherever I'm telling it, there's going to be 00:29:55.019 --> 00:29:57.640 a point where you see that I failed. Or that 00:29:57.640 --> 00:29:59.440 another person in the story example that I'm 00:29:59.440 --> 00:30:01.700 sharing failed. Things like that. And so that 00:30:01.700 --> 00:30:03.839 is where, to me, the consistency comes through. 00:30:04.980 --> 00:30:09.250 Okay, good. How do you track whether your relationships 00:30:09.250 --> 00:30:13.230 are actually paying off professionally or personally 00:30:13.230 --> 00:30:18.630 without sounding transactional? Yeah, the transactional 00:30:18.630 --> 00:30:22.309 piece, that's difficult. I think it comes back 00:30:22.309 --> 00:30:27.450 to the value side of things. And just as a person 00:30:27.450 --> 00:30:29.549 of faith, really trusting that there's a reason 00:30:29.549 --> 00:30:33.670 this relationship exists. And so whether it's 00:30:33.670 --> 00:30:36.950 because I am giving more. or because they are 00:30:36.950 --> 00:30:40.190 giving more for this time or this season, that 00:30:40.190 --> 00:30:44.910 it will come back. And so there's a reason that 00:30:44.910 --> 00:30:49.650 this relationship is happening. Now, if it becomes 00:30:49.650 --> 00:30:51.930 one where it's just a take -take, that's a real 00:30:51.930 --> 00:30:54.009 conversation that we have to have, that I have 00:30:54.009 --> 00:30:56.769 to have with that individual to say, hey, I love 00:30:56.769 --> 00:31:01.349 helping you, and I feel as though I'm just giving 00:31:01.349 --> 00:31:04.430 in this relationship. And then we talk about 00:31:04.430 --> 00:31:06.599 it. And it's as simple as having that conversation 00:31:06.599 --> 00:31:09.519 or being really clear with people to say, hey, 00:31:09.559 --> 00:31:12.000 here's where, you know, if you're going to, for 00:31:12.000 --> 00:31:14.740 example, refer me. We're talking about networking. 00:31:15.160 --> 00:31:17.960 Referrals happen and can be the best source of 00:31:17.960 --> 00:31:22.099 business. Here's what's really helpful. And getting 00:31:22.099 --> 00:31:24.380 really clear with people on that. And in that 00:31:24.380 --> 00:31:28.359 way, it's not, it can feel transactional, but 00:31:28.359 --> 00:31:31.359 I don't think it is because it's actually. Clarity 00:31:31.359 --> 00:31:34.000 is a gift to that individual. And it's a gift 00:31:34.000 --> 00:31:37.019 to anybody that they might refer to you. Because 00:31:37.019 --> 00:31:39.819 if somebody refers to me and they're looking 00:31:39.819 --> 00:31:43.559 for, I don't know, disc or Enneagram work or 00:31:43.559 --> 00:31:46.460 for any kind of example like that, certainly 00:31:46.460 --> 00:31:48.680 I can help them. There are great facilitators 00:31:48.680 --> 00:31:51.460 and facilitators around those that I know, but 00:31:51.460 --> 00:31:54.000 that's not going to be me. And so giving that 00:31:54.000 --> 00:31:58.779 clarity to them helps them also be a better connector 00:31:58.779 --> 00:32:02.559 of individuals too. So how do you help everybody 00:32:02.559 --> 00:32:05.579 shine in the best way possible? I think it's 00:32:05.579 --> 00:32:07.759 got to be clear. And sometimes that comes across 00:32:07.759 --> 00:32:10.359 as transactional, but I don't think it is. No, 00:32:10.480 --> 00:32:14.099 I agree. I agree. Communication is key. And the 00:32:14.099 --> 00:32:19.000 more open everybody is, the closer we are to 00:32:19.000 --> 00:32:22.920 getting to the transaction, the business part 00:32:22.920 --> 00:32:26.519 of it. But that comes way, way over here. All 00:32:26.519 --> 00:32:29.740 this has to happen first. Okay, so let's bring 00:32:29.740 --> 00:32:34.640 this podcast full circle and do a little 30 -day 00:32:34.640 --> 00:32:37.779 challenge for my listeners. Give our audience 00:32:37.779 --> 00:32:42.240 one simple 30 -day practice that will make them 00:32:42.240 --> 00:32:45.640 measurably better at creating real create connections 00:32:45.640 --> 00:32:50.200 and what it is and how they should measure progress. 00:32:52.329 --> 00:32:55.230 Who would measure progress? Okay, that changes 00:32:55.230 --> 00:32:56.869 it a little bit. Because I was going to say, 00:32:56.950 --> 00:32:59.269 go back and listen to the segment on the agreement 00:32:59.269 --> 00:33:02.630 and now use that with any conversation with. 00:33:02.869 --> 00:33:06.230 That was very good. That was very good. And all 00:33:06.230 --> 00:33:09.069 my listeners, they should listen to that segment 00:33:09.069 --> 00:33:13.430 and implement that as the contract. Okay, within 00:33:13.430 --> 00:33:16.250 30 days. But there's the second half of the question. 00:33:16.569 --> 00:33:20.920 How are they going to measure progress? Yeah. 00:33:21.000 --> 00:33:23.579 So when it comes to that, for the agreement, 00:33:23.700 --> 00:33:26.700 the measurement of it, are you using it or you're 00:33:26.700 --> 00:33:29.460 not? And then evaluating post -conversation, 00:33:29.599 --> 00:33:33.119 how did it go? Did you get to a deeper level? 00:33:33.319 --> 00:33:35.599 But if they want to be really measurable, we 00:33:35.599 --> 00:33:38.380 have an assessment that gives them the, that 00:33:38.380 --> 00:33:40.160 I was talking about a little bit earlier, the 00:33:40.160 --> 00:33:42.180 real -time data. So if you go to knowhonesty 00:33:42.180 --> 00:33:45.839 .com slash assessment, so K -N -O -W honesty 00:33:45.839 --> 00:33:49.779 .com slash assessment, there's a About a 10 -minute 00:33:49.779 --> 00:33:51.740 assessment you can take that's going to give 00:33:51.740 --> 00:33:55.079 you your real -time ability to deliver and receive 00:33:55.079 --> 00:33:57.500 real communication. And so we're looking at how 00:33:57.500 --> 00:34:01.000 honest are you? How open are you? And if they 00:34:01.000 --> 00:34:02.940 want the measurable, those are the numbers to 00:34:02.940 --> 00:34:06.299 look at and say, okay, in my conversations, I'm 00:34:06.299 --> 00:34:09.920 60 % honest. Or in my conversations, I'm 50 % 00:34:09.920 --> 00:34:13.480 open. And then you can go take that again. It's 00:34:13.480 --> 00:34:14.980 an assessment you can take over and over. We 00:34:14.980 --> 00:34:17.260 typically recommend every six months or so, but 00:34:17.260 --> 00:34:19.980 certainly can do it within 30 days and starting 00:34:19.980 --> 00:34:22.699 that education piece there. So are we developing 00:34:22.699 --> 00:34:24.079 this? Are we getting better at this? Because 00:34:24.079 --> 00:34:27.420 I will tell you the people who succeed the most, 00:34:27.420 --> 00:34:31.940 the people who get looked to as high trust, engaging. 00:34:33.289 --> 00:34:36.789 Our exceptional leaders are the people who develop 00:34:36.789 --> 00:34:39.730 and display and live out those two skills of 00:34:39.730 --> 00:34:41.909 being open and being honest. So there's your 00:34:41.909 --> 00:34:45.150 measurable thing that they can go do. That was 00:34:45.150 --> 00:34:49.070 fantastic. Grace, I want to thank you so much 00:34:49.070 --> 00:34:52.969 for coming on the podcast. And if somebody wants 00:34:52.969 --> 00:34:55.409 to get hold of you about one of your programs 00:34:55.409 --> 00:34:58.150 or to be coached or just to ask you a question, 00:34:58.329 --> 00:35:00.650 what's the best way for them to get hold of you? 00:35:01.130 --> 00:35:03.730 Yeah, they can. One of two ways. You can shoot 00:35:03.730 --> 00:35:06.250 me a LinkedIn message. I'm on LinkedIn under 00:35:06.250 --> 00:35:08.389 Grace Gavin. Feel free to follow me there. I 00:35:08.389 --> 00:35:11.590 post about this all the time. And the other way, 00:35:11.690 --> 00:35:13.469 a little bit more direct, is you can reach out 00:35:13.469 --> 00:35:16.110 to me via email. My email is grace at no honesty 00:35:16.110 --> 00:35:20.489 dot com. And again, K -N -O -W honesty dot com. 00:35:21.050 --> 00:35:22.789 Important distinction to make there, Michael. 00:35:22.949 --> 00:35:24.730 But shoot me an email and let's have a conversation 00:35:24.730 --> 00:35:27.550 about this because. We've had a short one here 00:35:27.550 --> 00:35:30.190 today, but I could go on and on. And I talk about 00:35:30.190 --> 00:35:32.130 this all day long with my clients and wrestle 00:35:32.130 --> 00:35:34.949 with this ability, this skill. How do we build 00:35:34.949 --> 00:35:36.849 these things and talk through it? Reach out to 00:35:36.849 --> 00:35:39.030 me there. Love to have conversations about this. 00:35:39.130 --> 00:35:41.010 And bring me your challenges. Bring me your questions, 00:35:41.150 --> 00:35:44.789 whatever it might be. Fantastic. Grace, thank 00:35:44.789 --> 00:35:47.429 you so much for coming on the podcast. Thanks 00:35:47.429 --> 00:35:53.190 for having me, Michael. Well, hold on, folks. 00:35:53.730 --> 00:35:56.460 Don't go anywhere. Let's hear from our sponsors. 00:35:56.880 --> 00:36:00.880 David Neal, co -founder Revved Up Kids. Revved 00:36:00.880 --> 00:36:03.840 Up Kids is on a mission to protect children and 00:36:03.840 --> 00:36:07.800 teens from sexual abuse, exploitation, and trafficking. 00:36:08.079 --> 00:36:11.260 They provide prevention training programs for 00:36:11.260 --> 00:36:14.800 children, teens, and adults. To learn more, go 00:36:14.800 --> 00:36:19.199 to revvedupkids .org. Henry Kaplan, Century 21. 00:36:19.670 --> 00:36:21.909 When it comes to making the biggest financial 00:36:21.909 --> 00:36:24.849 decision of your life, leave it in the hands 00:36:24.849 --> 00:36:28.190 of a proven professional, Henry Kaplan. Henry 00:36:28.190 --> 00:36:31.369 is a global real estate agent with Century 21, 00:36:31.570 --> 00:36:35.530 celebrating his 41st year in business. No matter 00:36:35.530 --> 00:36:38.230 where you're moving, Henry has the right connections 00:36:38.230 --> 00:36:45.210 for you. You can contact Henry at 561 -427 -4888. 00:36:46.610 --> 00:36:49.780 We're out, folks. A huge thank you to our guests 00:36:49.780 --> 00:36:53.119 for sharing such incredible insights today. And 00:36:53.119 --> 00:36:55.940 of course, a big shout out to you, our amazing 00:36:55.940 --> 00:36:58.960 listeners, for tuning in and spending your time 00:36:58.960 --> 00:37:02.039 with us. If you're interested in my digital courses, 00:37:02.320 --> 00:37:05.199 being coached, or having me come and talk to 00:37:05.199 --> 00:37:08.659 your company, just go to Michael and fill out 00:37:08.659 --> 00:37:12.179 the request form. Remember, networking isn't 00:37:12.179 --> 00:37:14.880 about being perfect. It's about being present. 00:37:15.340 --> 00:37:18.030 So take what you've learned today. get out there, 00:37:18.130 --> 00:37:21.170 and make some meaningful connections. If you've 00:37:21.170 --> 00:37:23.909 enjoyed this episode, please don't forget to 00:37:23.909 --> 00:37:27.110 subscribe, leave us a review, and share it with 00:37:27.110 --> 00:37:29.409 someone who could use a little networking inspiration. 00:37:30.230 --> 00:37:33.329 Let's keep the conversation going. You can find 00:37:33.329 --> 00:37:37.670 me on Apple, Spotify, Pandora, YouTube, or my 00:37:37.670 --> 00:37:41.530 website, foreman .com slash podcasts.