Welcome to Networking Unleashed, Building Profitable
Connections. I'm Michael Foreman, and today is
episode 100. Yes, you heard me correctly. 100
chances to ruin a handshake and 100 chances to
fix them instead. So I'm flying solo today, which
means no guests to blame and all the best shortcuts
to share straight with you. Each week... I give
you tactical, no -fluff strategies that turn
small talk into real revenue. And this one message
or these messages get you a lunch, a single question
that turns conferences chaos into meaningful
connections. If you want fewer awkward silences
and more closed deals, you're in the right place.
So stay with me. I'll give you razor sharp actions
you can use today and a short challenge at the
end. Make life worth living. Make networking
less exhausting and more profitable. Now, I'm
going to run you through a few things that I
normally go through during a workshop. And my
first question is, why? Why does everyone network?
And I firmly believe that networking is the base
of all businesses. So what's your ultimate goal?
Of course, it's to make more money. Otherwise,
why are you in business? But there's more to
networking than that. It's having a giver's game.
It's having a servant's heart. It's doing good
for somebody else. And that plays more into networking
than anything else. You know what? Let me tell
you a story. It's a story. Two guys, Marty and
Fred, and they decided to go fishing one day.
So they got all their gear together and they
went up the mountain and they decided they found
a great lake. And they said, okay. Marty said,
you know what, Fred? You go to the north side.
I'm going to take the south side. You go do everything
you do, and I'll do everything that I do, and
we'll catch fish, and we'll get together, and
we'll have dinner. It'll be great. Fred went
on his way. Marty went on his. And at the end
of the day, Fred came back with one fish. He
goes, ah, the fish really weren't biting today.
But Marty had 10 fish. He goes, well, I guess
it was better on the north side than the south
side. So you know what? Let's do this, Fred.
Let's change sides. I'll go to the south side
and you stay on the north side. And this way
we'll both have enough fish. Marty came back
with 10 fish, 11 fish. And Fred had one. And
he said, what's going on? Why am I not catching
the fish? So Marty said, what are you doing?
He said, doing what you're doing. I'm setting
up my camp. I am putting my radio on so I have
some really cool music and I'm fishing. And Marty
said, that's your problem. You're doing it wrong.
And networking is the same way. If you do it
wrong, then you're missing out on so much. And
do you realize that most people waste 80 % of
their networking opportunities without even realizing
it? But you know what? That's where we come in.
And that's where we can help you. Because you
have to remember, you are a problem solver. That's
right. So you have to find out what the person
that you're speaking to, what's their problem?
Because you have to have in the back of your
head some sort of solution. And when you can
do that, then you've made it. Let me just tell
you just a few items, a few things. Because when
you're networking, don't just think networking
as a business. Think of networking in your everyday
life. And so when you network, you go shopping
for your jeans, go shopping for food. You're
talking with people online. You're talking with
people in the aisles. First things first, make,
smile. Make it like you're a happy person, whether
you are or not, doesn't make a difference. But
you know what? Because people will react to you
much better when you're a happy person. And so
you just, if you're in line with somebody and
they're talking about it, I used to be in a mortgage
industry and I would always listen. I would always
listen if people are talking about. buying a
house or selling a house or renting a house,
I would always turn around, give my two seconds
worth of information, and I'd turn back around.
If they were interested, they'd tap me on the
shoulder and they'd say, you know, what about
that? So anyway, so that goes a long way with
networking. But you know what? Whenever you go
anywhere, you have business cards, right? Don't
forget your business cards. You put them in your
pocket or whatever else. And whenever the time
comes, you can always give your business card.
What's more important than actually meeting the
person? It's your follow -up. I have a follow
-up strategy. I call it my secret sauce, the
follow -up. So I will get into that, maybe, but
I will get into that. So I want you to think.
I want you to think about what communication
is. Communication is the number one professional
skill. Communication. It's how you communicate.
Just remember, people hate to be sold to, but
they love to buy something. So that puts you
in a quandary. How do I do this? It's very simple.
When you walk up and you meet somebody, obviously,
you're smiling. You're smiling. Extend your hand.
You're looking for that just to shake your hand,
say hello, how you doing? And eye contact is
very important. Now, I come from New York, right?
Eye contact, ooh, that's a negative, right? You're
always looking down. You're always looking away.
But I'm in Georgia now. And it's always looking
at the person in the eye. You want to make that
eye contact because what does that tell you?
It tells you that you're listening to them, that
you're interested in them. So you know what?
You have that eye contact, but you're always
giving the utmost of respect. And whether you're
the... CEO or the janitor, that's what you do.
You give the respect that they deserve. So, you
know, what you want to do is you want to square
your body up to them. You don't want to talk
to somebody with their shoulders, with your shoulders
turned. Okay. You want to just square up to them.
And how about a facial expression, a friendly
facial. expression. And put your hands in plain
sight. If you're sitting on your hands, or if
you're sitting, if you're standing, just, you
know what, and talk with your hands. Because
it's a natural ability. It's a natural thing.
So if you talk with your hands, you're actually
becoming more involved with the conversation.
Right? If you're sitting, that's one thing. If
you're standing, you're talking with your hands.
And most importantly, You want to enunciate.
Because if the person can't hear you, can't understand
you, then they're really not going to be interested
in you and not going to be interested in what
you have to offer them or sell them or anything
else like that. But if you're speaking with them
and you have their attention, right, you want
to listen. And listening is a very important
part. Don't just hear them. You're listening
to what they are saying. And you're active listening.
You're listening for something that they're saying
that you can respond with. Don't think about
the next thing that you want to say. You're thinking
about, okay, he said something about this. So
you repeat part of it. So I understand. You're
saying this. So what you're meaning to say is
that, right? It's very important. But that also
tells them you're listening. You're listening.
You know, I use something. It's called F -O -R
-M. And that's family, occupation, recreation,
and a certain message. And I use this every time
that I. Speak with anybody. Have a meeting with
anybody. So F is family. So you get them to talk
about their family. Remember the networking mantra.
Know you, like you, trust you, they'll do business
with you. Right? Everybody knows you. Everybody
likes you. Not really. Everybody doesn't like
you because that narrows the field a little bit.
But trust you, that's the major factor. That's
the major factor because if they don't trust
you, then they're not going to do business with
you. So let me get back to form. Form is family.
You have them talk, have the other person speak,
talk, talk about their family, husband, wife,
sister, brother, son, daughter, whatever. If
they are into youth sports, that's great. If
they're into music, that's great. Art, that's
great. Talk about anything because what you're
doing is you're having them talk about their
family and that wall between you is going down.
But you know what? That trust factor, that's
going up. So they're beginning to trust a little
bit more. So you want to talk about their occupation?
which is O, they're R, recreation. What do they
like to do? They like to go boating. They like
to go ski. They like to paddleboard, play pickleball.
I don't understand why, but they play pickleball,
tennis, football, baseball. It doesn't make a
difference. However they do their recreation,
that would be best. And you find that level.
You find something that you can talk about, right?
And the M. is a message that you just try to
get onto the same keel as them. So you know what?
Whenever you're meeting with somebody and you're
using the form, figure out what they like, who
they are, okay? If you're sitting down with somebody
in an office, you really only have about 30 seconds.
You have about 30 seconds to really find out.
about the person. So scan the walls. Do they
have a picture of some sports memorabilia? Do
they have a picture of something of music, something
of art? Find it, talk about it, ask questions.
You're trying to find that commonality, find
what you have in common. And here's a little
trick. If you walk into an office and you see
all the pictures, on his desk right on his desk
looking in towards him that means that he really
doesn't want you to comment on his family but
if you see pictures on the back when they're
facing out you that almost gives you the right
almost right depends on the person to talk about
their family right so it depends on everything
so you're really trying to build that type of
rapport. But again, I'm going to bring you back
to the mantra, the mantra, know you, like you,
trust you. If they know you, if they like you
and they trust you, then they will do business
with you. And remember, if you don't have that
trust, you, you're going, you're doing something
wrong, right? So now what I've told you basically
is what The difference, it's for extroverts,
right? If you're an introvert, it's something
completely different. Let's change this up a
little bit. Let's go to a networking event at
the table. And you walk up to the table. I'm
thinking just extroverts now. You walk up to
the table. What's the first thing you do? Everybody
says, talk. Tell everybody what you do. Oh, that's
100 % the wrong thing to do. What you should
do really is walk up the table and not say a
word, not say a word. You're listening. That's
active listening. You're listening for the conversation.
And you say to yourself, is this a conversation
that I want to be a part of? Because there's
a ton of conversations going on. So if it is
great, if not. If you haven't said anything yet,
you politely bow out and you go to the next table.
Let's say it is a conversation that you want
to be a part of. Well, that's great. So you wait
for the opportunity for you to give your two
cents. Now, remember, you are the expert in your
field, the expert. So what you say should really
be worth something. And all you're trying to
do is get the attention of, let's say, two of
the people that are at that table. There's generally
four or five people. Two people. And when you
do, you direct your conversation towards them.
And then you bring form into it. You bring form
into it. And you have the person or people talk
about themselves. And then you bring the conversation
around to what they do for a living. They've
already told you all about their family and things
that they like to do. So they're going to tell
you about what they do for a living. And as they're
talking about what they do, you're listening,
active listening. So you're listening to them.
You respond to them. You say, so I understand
that you do this. And at the end, you say, you
know what? I like you. I like your business and
how you do it. How can I make you more successful?
How can I be a good referral source for you?
That usually blows them away. Mike, I don't even
know what you do yet. And you're saying this
to me? Remember, it's a giver's game. You're
looking to go in there and help everybody that
you can. What goes around comes around. They
will, in turn, refer you. But your interest right
now is to refer your person, this person that
you're talking to. So you do. And so you exchange
cards and you explain what you do for a living.
Because the only time you're going to give your
business card is if they ask for it. And on the
back of the card, his card, the other card, her
card. is you're going to write the date, the
name of the function, and something you spoke
about. Because he told you everything. So everything
you spoke about. And then you'll hold that for
your follow -up. Now, as a side note, like I
said, I used to be in a mortgage business. I
used to go to these events. I used to come home
with a shoebox filled with business cards and
say, look how good I did. Did I do good? No.
I did not. So now with a three or four hour event,
I come back with 15 or 20 business cards so I
can follow up with them correctly. Now I told
you all this was all for an introvert, extrovert.
Now introvert is almost the same with a difference.
This is where you're going to bring in a friend,
your sister, your brother, whoever knows you
well, knows what you do well. Because let's go
back to the beginning. Let's go back to the table.
When you're walking up to the table, you're listening
for the conversation. Is this a conversation
that I want to be a part of? Yes, it is. Okay.
So when the conversation comes around, you're
the person who you came with. says you know something
that is a great idea you know what michael really
knows about that michael why don't you tell us
about it and that is like an introduction so
you don't feel overwhelmed and you do that so
that if your partner does that enough times you're
going to get used to it you get used to speaking
with the person now don't become a wallflower
don't walk into an event and immediately go to
the wall and look at it, sip your drink and say,
oh, there's a nice event. I'm not meeting anybody.
If you see somebody that's like that, take it
upon yourself, walk up to them, say, hey, how
you doing? Hey, that's a nice blazer. Or I like
your shoes. I like your blouse. Where'd you get
it from? Something, anything outside of business,
because that will make them. Make them more amenable
to what you do, what you have, whatever else.
But it's all for you. So remember, so now your
follow -up. Oh, there's a secret sauce for follow
-up. And you know what? I'm going to share it
with you. I'm going to tell you what I use as
a follow -up. And I say it's a secret sauce because
it works the majority of the time. Nothing works,
everything. But let's, okay, let's say you finish
the event, you go back to your house, your office,
wherever the case may be. You have 15 or 20 business
cards. You're going to write an email that night.
And you're going to say, hey, Michael, this is
Michael. I met you last, I met you tonight at
the networking event. Had a great time. Looking
forward to speaking with you soon, Michael. That's
it. Nothing else. And send it off. The next morning,
here's the key. The next morning, you write a
handwritten thank you note. That's right. Handwritten.
I have about 50 of them in my briefcase. You
write a handwritten thank you note. Hey, Michael,
this is Michael. I met you on such and such date
at such and such an event. We spoke about X,
Y, Z. Now, remember. On the back of the business
card, I have all that information. Hey, Michael,
this is Michael. I met you on such and such day.
I met you at last night or such and such date.
At such an event, we spoke about XYZ. I really
hope we can do business soon, Michael. And put
your business card in, send it off. Now, the
mail's a little slow. You have to wait three
or four days because if you haven't gotten a
return email yet, send them another email. Hey,
Michael, this is Michael. I met you on such and
such date at such as an event. We spoke about
X, Y, Z. Now notice I say the same thing every
time I speak with them. Why? Because that'll
bring me top of mind. That'll bring us. Oh, I
remember him. We spoke about this. Or we spoke
about that. Okay. Hey, Michael, this is Michael.
I met you on such and such day. We spoke at such
an event. We spoke about X, Y, Z. Hey, listen,
I just noticed that next week, Tuesday and Wednesday
seems to be clear. Would one of those days work
with you to meet up and have a cup of coffee?
Michael, send it off. Wait two or three days
later, he still hasn't returned. Bad sign. But,
hey, Michael, this is Michael. I met you on such
and such date at such an event. We spoke about
X, Y, Z. I said, Tuesday and Wednesday look pretty
good. Tuesday's getting kind of full. How's Wednesday?
Michael. Still didn't answer you. Two or three
days later. Hey, Michael, this is Michael. I
met you on such date at such an event. We spoke
about X, Y, Z. I told you Tuesday and Wednesday
were open. Tuesday was full. Wednesday is kind
of full. Is there a good day for you? Okay. So
what does that do? Well, that kind of closes
out all the times that you've tried to reach
out to him, but it leaves it open for him to
contact you. Now, before doing all of this, when
you meet with somebody, you want to reach out
to them in a soft way. And what I mean by that,
go to LinkedIn. Connect with them. Go to Instagram,
see if they have it. Facebook, see if they have
it. A YouTube channel, see if they have it. Wherever
they're on social media, connect. Now, with LinkedIn,
because I usually use that for business, right?
So if you reach out LinkedIn, let's say they're
in the roofing company, and you see an article.
comparing metal roofs to shingle roofs and whatnot.
I would attach that to your next message. You
always want to bring value to the message. You
never want to sell. You never want to sell, right?
So you're bringing value to the relationship.
If you bring value to it once, twice, even three
times, they'll get the message and they will
reach out to you. Now, I have a lot about using
a CRM. And if you don't have one, if you don't
have one, I would highly advise getting one.
Because what it does, I said get 15 to 20 business
cards from your event. That's great from the
first one. There's somebody that I met on. other
podcasts, where he has everything on one side
of the computer. And as soon as he makes contact
with them, he changes to the other side of the
computer. That's great if you're only dealing
with 15, 30 business cards. But what about the
fifth, sixth, seventh time that you go to a networking
event? What are you going to do with 150 cards?
You're not going to sit there and play swapsies.
You have to put them into a CRM. Because what
will a CRM do? It'll keep you organized. And
that's really, organization is key because you
know what? You have to, organization is key because
if you don't do it early, then you're going to
lose out, right? You're going to lose something.
You're going to leave money on the table. So
remember, okay, I've given you a lot so far,
and there's much more that I can give you, I
can teach you. But you know what the most important
thing is? Practice, practice. Okay? And you want
to focus on building the relationship. You're
not looking to sell. You're looking to building
the relationship. And look, you can find the
people on LinkedIn. And you know the people that
you want to go after. Don't sell to them. Just
build that relationship. And just remember the
handwritten. thank you notes. Everybody that
I coach, everybody that I talk to, that I teach,
that I've been teaching this handwritten thank
you note has gotten such favorable reviews, feedback
reviews, feedback. And I've got a stack of a
hundred thank you notes because every time I
coach a client, I have them write me a thank
you note just to get them into the habit. So
with that being said, I want to tell you that
giving is the fastest way to build that relationship.
So I told you to build relationships. Giving,
not receiving. That's the fastest way to build
a relationship. And remember, people hate to
be sold. They hate to be sold to. They love to
buy. And a way to think about you in somebody,
you networking in itself, don't think about how
many people are in your network. Think about
how many people, how many people that you are
in their network, right? So just remember, that's
very important. So that's what I have to tell
you. First of all, doing my podcast was just
an idea in the beginning, just a way for me to
spread the word that I can. I can help other
people. It's turned into quite a bit more. I've
had wonderful guests from besides Canada, Mexico.
Australia, the UK, Israel, Egypt. I've had them
from all over and all of them bring something
different to networking. So it's very important.
And I tell them all, networking is the base of
all businesses. But anyway, okay, all right.
That's a wrap for episode 100. And I'm Michael
Foreman. Thank you for sticking with me through
100 chances to mess up and to mess up a handshake
and 100 ways to get it right. If one of today's
actions landed for you, do me a favor. Cry it
within the next 24 hours and send me a one -sentence
victory report. I'd live for those. So just send
it to michael at michaelaforman .com. You can
subscribe to subscribe wherever you get podcasts.
Leave a quick review. If this episode helped
you or if it made you laugh, I'll tell a colleague
that treats LinkedIn like a museum that didn't
want to do it. They get a connection. They'll
leave it. They don't bring value, bring value
to your network. Remember, go to foreman .com
because I have digital courses on there from
the. beginner to the experienced. I have a full
course on there. Everything I just talked about
plus more. But I also have networking made simplistically.
I have networking for realtors. I have all sorts
of podcasts. So let me tell you, I'm going to
see you next week or actually later on this week.
And I just want you to put the useful moves.
And if you do what I told you, you'll increase
profits. I did this with a company. I think I
traveled to Ohio. And I got a call back about
four months later. I said, Mike, we brought in
everything that you told us to do. We increased
our ROI by $25 ,000. So it works. So if anything.
Hats off to you. Hats off to me. Whatever. I
will see you for number 101. Thank you and have
a good night. Hold on, folks. Don't go anywhere.
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