WEBVTT 00:00:16.839 --> 00:00:20.219 Welcome back to Networking Unleashed, Building 00:00:20.219 --> 00:00:23.440 Profitable Connections. I'm your host, Michael 00:00:23.440 --> 00:00:26.800 Foreman, and today's episode is all about stepping 00:00:26.800 --> 00:00:29.920 out of the background and into the spotlight 00:00:29.920 --> 00:00:33.439 of your business and your life. My guest is a 00:00:33.439 --> 00:00:36.539 powerhouse in helping entrepreneurs break free 00:00:36.539 --> 00:00:39.479 from invisible patterns that keep them playing 00:00:39.479 --> 00:00:43.920 small. He teaches how to get into the zone that 00:00:43.920 --> 00:00:47.700 focus fearless. feel this energy where clarity 00:00:47.700 --> 00:00:51.920 flows, confidence rises, and opportunities multiply. 00:00:52.340 --> 00:00:55.920 So here's what makes his perspective so valuable. 00:00:56.200 --> 00:00:59.399 He doesn't just talk about mindset. He shows 00:00:59.399 --> 00:01:02.320 how it directly fuels profitable networking. 00:01:02.780 --> 00:01:05.859 Because you're fully present, fully assigned, 00:01:06.060 --> 00:01:09.939 and fully you, the right people can't imagine, 00:01:10.379 --> 00:01:13.900 I'm sorry, the right people can't help. but be 00:01:13.900 --> 00:01:17.099 drawn to your energy. So if you've been holding 00:01:17.099 --> 00:01:20.040 back, waiting to be noticed, or playing it safe 00:01:20.040 --> 00:01:22.640 in the rooms you enter, this is your moment. 00:01:23.079 --> 00:01:26.939 Let's talk about what really means to your own 00:01:26.939 --> 00:01:30.879 story, activate your zone, and build bold, authentic 00:01:30.879 --> 00:01:33.859 connections that move your business forward. 00:01:34.079 --> 00:01:37.870 I hope I put all that correctly. I'm sorry if 00:01:37.870 --> 00:01:40.629 I didn't. Okay. So I would like to introduce 00:01:40.629 --> 00:01:45.170 today, Dr. Gary Wollman, PhD. He has quite an 00:01:45.170 --> 00:01:47.530 extensive background, which I'm going to let 00:01:47.530 --> 00:01:51.170 him do himself. Gary, welcome to the podcast. 00:01:52.370 --> 00:01:55.469 Sounds like you're inviting me to be up at bat, 00:01:55.489 --> 00:02:00.260 up on stage. That's great. That's beautiful. 00:02:00.439 --> 00:02:03.420 Welcome, everyone who's listening or watching 00:02:03.420 --> 00:02:08.780 or both or any combination. I have, yes, a varied, 00:02:08.919 --> 00:02:12.300 adventurous background, born where you also grew 00:02:12.300 --> 00:02:16.219 up in New York. And I've been moving west my 00:02:16.219 --> 00:02:19.939 whole life. California, Hawaii, New Zealand, 00:02:20.060 --> 00:02:24.050 Australia. Bali, Thailand, and now I'm living 00:02:24.050 --> 00:02:27.349 on the east coast of Australia. I live in a permaculture 00:02:27.349 --> 00:02:31.710 community, and I have a very successful and very 00:02:31.710 --> 00:02:37.830 unusual, you can see already, way of, if I put 00:02:37.830 --> 00:02:44.689 it in one word, it would be multi -sensorize. 00:02:48.120 --> 00:02:51.719 Multisensorizing everything has been the calling 00:02:51.719 --> 00:02:55.560 card for me to have fantastic networking opportunities. 00:02:55.659 --> 00:02:59.199 I'll share a few with you, live moments, as well 00:02:59.199 --> 00:03:01.939 as a... the presentation doctor and speaker's 00:03:01.939 --> 00:03:05.560 mentor, which I am, coaching, helping people 00:03:05.560 --> 00:03:08.379 who have a message to share their voice and wisdom 00:03:08.379 --> 00:03:12.000 with the world in a somatic way. My background 00:03:12.000 --> 00:03:15.340 at Horace Mann Private School, actually in New 00:03:15.340 --> 00:03:20.280 York City. I graduated there cum laude, and along 00:03:20.280 --> 00:03:23.520 with honors, there's one student in each class 00:03:23.520 --> 00:03:25.819 that's given an award for the best combination 00:03:25.819 --> 00:03:29.900 of academics and athletics. champion springboard 00:03:29.900 --> 00:03:33.979 diver and track star and gymnast. So I got that 00:03:33.979 --> 00:03:37.419 award as I graduated. And you know what? That 00:03:37.419 --> 00:03:43.039 same focus throughout my life, the marrying of 00:03:43.039 --> 00:03:48.520 the body and the mind has been the cornerstone 00:03:48.520 --> 00:03:54.169 of my success. And it's taken me first When I 00:03:54.169 --> 00:03:56.710 didn't get into medical school after going to 00:03:56.710 --> 00:04:00.469 Johns Hopkins to move to San Francisco and discover 00:04:00.469 --> 00:04:06.870 all kinds of body therapies, psychodrama, all 00:04:06.870 --> 00:04:10.729 kinds of gestalt, bioengineering, I got into 00:04:10.729 --> 00:04:14.169 deep personal development, developed my own system, 00:04:14.229 --> 00:04:18.139 which... is now called the wolman method for 00:04:18.139 --> 00:04:21.139 the whole person which was also government endorsed 00:04:21.139 --> 00:04:23.980 here in australia after i moved here forty years 00:04:23.980 --> 00:04:29.379 after developing a method of stretching the muscles 00:04:29.379 --> 00:04:35.319 in the body while speaking in rhyme and on the 00:04:35.319 --> 00:04:39.620 exhalations just like dr seuss that propel people 00:04:39.620 --> 00:04:44.060 on this instant journey of their self -talk and 00:04:44.060 --> 00:04:46.180 immediately shifted their relationship with their 00:04:46.180 --> 00:04:49.800 body, their communication. Yes, we'll be talking 00:04:49.800 --> 00:04:53.980 about that. Their relationships as well as their 00:04:53.980 --> 00:04:56.420 creativity and their contribution. So I've developed 00:04:56.420 --> 00:05:00.839 tools over, I'm now 73, at least 60 years, I'm 00:05:00.839 --> 00:05:05.079 sure longer, that are all about freeing the physical, 00:05:05.259 --> 00:05:10.920 emotional, and creative stored energy in a person's 00:05:10.920 --> 00:05:14.569 body. My networking and communication is based 00:05:14.569 --> 00:05:17.829 on body wisdom. And I'll share some specific 00:05:17.829 --> 00:05:20.470 examples with you over the years, some great 00:05:20.470 --> 00:05:23.350 stories, just a few words from each time one 00:05:23.350 --> 00:05:26.329 of these happen that is so easy to pass on. And 00:05:26.329 --> 00:05:30.230 what a thrill to you who are listening and watching 00:05:30.230 --> 00:05:32.310 today. You'd like to know any more about my background? 00:05:32.470 --> 00:05:34.930 That's a short version right there. Okay, let's 00:05:34.930 --> 00:05:37.250 move into the questions and we'll get into it 00:05:37.250 --> 00:05:41.009 a little bit more. You talk about getting... 00:05:41.069 --> 00:05:44.449 into the zone to grow your business. How does 00:05:44.449 --> 00:05:49.230 being in the state that, how does being in that 00:05:49.230 --> 00:05:52.389 state impact the way that we network and connect 00:05:52.389 --> 00:05:56.930 with others? I'll give you a good example from 00:05:56.930 --> 00:05:58.930 something that just happened. in the last two 00:05:58.930 --> 00:06:02.350 hours. It's getting cold here in Australia. And 00:06:02.350 --> 00:06:04.529 even though I went swimming at the dam today, 00:06:04.649 --> 00:06:09.589 which I do on our 800 acres of wild forest here, 00:06:09.750 --> 00:06:14.029 I have a wood -fired sauna. And I took a wood 00:06:14.029 --> 00:06:17.110 -fired sauna tonight by myself and got into the 00:06:17.110 --> 00:06:19.870 zone. I was meditating. I was chanting. I was 00:06:19.870 --> 00:06:23.149 singing. I was praying. I was breathing. I was 00:06:23.149 --> 00:06:27.009 stoking the fire the whole time. And I just came 00:06:27.009 --> 00:06:29.350 out about an hour ago. My fingers are still a 00:06:29.350 --> 00:06:35.430 little cool. Yet I tell you, by nurturing, empowering, 00:06:36.110 --> 00:06:41.360 and inspiring, myself first throughout the day 00:06:41.360 --> 00:06:45.040 this is the secret sauce to doing what i'm doing 00:06:45.040 --> 00:06:48.980 with you i'm reaching who knows how many it doesn't 00:06:48.980 --> 00:06:52.500 matter people around the world from being in 00:06:52.500 --> 00:06:55.449 the zone from being in the zone It's like being 00:06:55.449 --> 00:06:57.750 on the dance floor with someone, being on the 00:06:57.750 --> 00:07:00.750 dance floor with yourself, and every move is 00:07:00.750 --> 00:07:03.689 in synchrony with yourself, your intentions, 00:07:04.069 --> 00:07:06.610 your intonations, and whoever you're connecting 00:07:06.610 --> 00:07:09.889 with. So I practice nurturing, empowering, and 00:07:09.889 --> 00:07:12.930 inspiring myself with every thought, word, and 00:07:12.930 --> 00:07:15.829 action. And that metaphysical practice, that 00:07:15.829 --> 00:07:19.509 inner practice, fills my day. And you can see, 00:07:19.509 --> 00:07:23.500 I'm lit up, and it's a result. I'll give you 00:07:23.500 --> 00:07:28.040 another example. Just before this session, after 00:07:28.040 --> 00:07:32.300 coming out of the sauna, I was rehearsing some 00:07:32.300 --> 00:07:37.579 affirmations. And I teach this. But this is not 00:07:37.579 --> 00:07:40.379 affirmations by themselves. It's boring. It's 00:07:40.379 --> 00:07:45.540 dull, boring, verbal apparitions of affirmations. 00:07:45.560 --> 00:07:48.699 It's just words or on paper. So what I do is 00:07:48.699 --> 00:07:53.189 I record a whole script. Just the key affirmations. 00:07:53.389 --> 00:07:57.509 I put it on a Word document in my computer in 00:07:57.509 --> 00:08:01.269 multicolored and very attractive graphics that 00:08:01.269 --> 00:08:05.110 match the tonality of those affirmations. I have 00:08:05.110 --> 00:08:08.170 a candle going. This little light in the background 00:08:08.170 --> 00:08:13.329 here is a multisensory experience. So I'm programming 00:08:13.329 --> 00:08:18.569 the affirmations into my psyche before I speak 00:08:18.569 --> 00:08:22.129 with you. And that is how... With all those practices 00:08:22.129 --> 00:08:24.730 I just shared with you, I get into the zone. 00:08:24.790 --> 00:08:26.329 I can see you looking for your next question, 00:08:26.370 --> 00:08:29.230 so I'll pause. That's all right. Listen, I'm 00:08:29.230 --> 00:08:31.990 always looking around for the questions. I am 00:08:31.990 --> 00:08:35.629 always intently listening to what you have to 00:08:35.629 --> 00:08:39.129 say because it is so very interesting. Thank 00:08:39.129 --> 00:08:42.809 you. Many entrepreneurs hold back without realizing 00:08:42.809 --> 00:08:47.129 it. What patterns do you see most often and how 00:08:47.129 --> 00:08:51.549 do they sabotage meaningful networking? I can 00:08:51.549 --> 00:08:54.570 own that rather than point the finger. I've been 00:08:54.570 --> 00:08:57.470 there. I've been there. I've overdone that. I 00:08:57.470 --> 00:09:01.610 grew up with a very strong parents and helped 00:09:01.610 --> 00:09:03.950 me be very successful as I turned out to be. 00:09:04.629 --> 00:09:10.169 And at the same time, I know my mom had great 00:09:10.169 --> 00:09:13.409 expectations of me. I did become a super achiever, 00:09:13.470 --> 00:09:16.850 but I had a great sense of loathing inside that 00:09:16.850 --> 00:09:20.440 we all do. A self -talk that told myself. I'm 00:09:20.440 --> 00:09:22.820 not enough. It was my core wound. It wasn't true, 00:09:22.980 --> 00:09:26.960 but I couldn't do enough A pluses to please her. 00:09:27.320 --> 00:09:30.440 And so I developed a belief that I'm not enough, 00:09:30.480 --> 00:09:34.960 I'm not good enough. Turning around the self 00:09:34.960 --> 00:09:40.259 -talk is absolutely essential to be able to free 00:09:40.259 --> 00:09:44.879 one's ability to be all that they can be in this 00:09:44.879 --> 00:09:48.299 life. When I work with people, I see myself as 00:09:48.299 --> 00:09:50.840 an archaeologist of the soul. There's the physical 00:09:50.840 --> 00:09:53.080 stored tension on the surface layer. The physical 00:09:53.080 --> 00:09:55.799 tension has to be released, number one. Number 00:09:55.799 --> 00:09:58.940 two, the emotional self -talk, I'm not good enough, 00:09:59.200 --> 00:10:01.320 I'm afraid of this, whatever it could be, make 00:10:01.320 --> 00:10:03.500 up your own version, we all have our own flavor, 00:10:03.740 --> 00:10:06.820 then is released at the second level, the emotional 00:10:06.820 --> 00:10:10.659 holding stored energy patterns. And only then, 00:10:10.740 --> 00:10:14.120 physical, emotional, can the creative layers 00:10:14.120 --> 00:10:18.320 of full self -talk self -expression, being absolutely 00:10:18.320 --> 00:10:21.080 magnificent in one's achievements, in one's business, 00:10:21.159 --> 00:10:24.100 and in relationships emerge. But it has to take 00:10:24.100 --> 00:10:28.340 place by first removing, as Michelangelo said, 00:10:28.559 --> 00:10:32.740 I saw the angel already in that marble, and I 00:10:32.740 --> 00:10:35.759 chiseled everything else away, so what was left 00:10:35.759 --> 00:10:40.200 was the angel. So this is the secret. Find out, 00:10:40.259 --> 00:10:43.990 identify where you're wounded. We're all wounded. 00:10:44.090 --> 00:10:46.649 Until you get to that layer, it's just all cotton 00:10:46.649 --> 00:10:50.090 candy and bubble gum and cotton floss and champagne, 00:10:50.250 --> 00:10:53.409 and it's not true. Once you can come to an event 00:10:53.409 --> 00:10:55.990 where you felt held back and see the decision 00:10:55.990 --> 00:10:58.970 you made around it, one thing I recommend you 00:10:58.970 --> 00:11:01.870 do, an exercise I've developed, but I often do 00:11:01.870 --> 00:11:04.970 this online with people, take that pain, that 00:11:04.970 --> 00:11:07.549 false persona, that belief that you're not enough, 00:11:07.730 --> 00:11:09.549 and do something like this. This is what I do. 00:11:09.750 --> 00:11:13.360 I send this program, this pattern, this pain, 00:11:13.539 --> 00:11:16.360 what I've taken in from my ancestors and others 00:11:16.360 --> 00:11:19.600 that I felt responsible for, and I send it back 00:11:19.600 --> 00:11:22.500 to the source with that strength, that full body 00:11:22.500 --> 00:11:26.559 wisdom, verbal, vocal, visual, simultaneously. 00:11:26.919 --> 00:11:30.799 I send it back. to where it came. And then the 00:11:30.799 --> 00:11:33.879 self -talk. My new self -talk is I am creative. 00:11:34.139 --> 00:11:38.379 I am playful. I am transformational. I teach 00:11:38.379 --> 00:11:41.659 this. But we have to come to identify the negative, 00:11:41.740 --> 00:11:45.679 turn it through a releasing process, whatever 00:11:45.679 --> 00:11:48.279 works for you, into my new mission statement, 00:11:48.399 --> 00:11:51.539 my new self -talk is, and then multi -sensorize 00:11:51.539 --> 00:11:55.350 it. And then it becomes you very quickly. Good. 00:11:55.490 --> 00:11:58.210 Very good. I'm listening to this and I can't 00:11:58.210 --> 00:12:00.809 wait to listen to this podcast after we're all 00:12:00.809 --> 00:12:04.590 done because I want to really go over everything 00:12:04.590 --> 00:12:09.269 that you had just said. But moving on, you help 00:12:09.269 --> 00:12:12.710 people step into the center stage of their life. 00:12:12.950 --> 00:12:16.850 How can networking serve as a stage, not just 00:12:16.850 --> 00:12:22.809 a strategy? That's a well -worded question. Well, 00:12:22.850 --> 00:12:26.129 I'm now reviewing in my psyche all the different 00:12:26.129 --> 00:12:28.809 experiences that I have had in networking in 00:12:28.809 --> 00:12:31.970 my life. And there's both the physical networking 00:12:31.970 --> 00:12:35.450 events online and in the physical that occur 00:12:35.450 --> 00:12:37.570 when your body is somewhere and you're interacting 00:12:37.570 --> 00:12:40.970 with humans. There's also the non -networking 00:12:40.970 --> 00:12:46.870 events where you feel a resonance. with someone 00:12:46.870 --> 00:12:50.450 in the arena, in the audience, whether or not 00:12:50.450 --> 00:12:52.669 you're on stage or an event. I keep thinking 00:12:52.669 --> 00:12:54.570 about this particular moment, so I'm going to 00:12:54.570 --> 00:12:59.210 share it. The example, I was at, I believe it 00:12:59.210 --> 00:13:03.350 was a Werner Erhard, Esther, Landmark Forum, 00:13:03.450 --> 00:13:06.850 an event that had hundreds of thousands of people 00:13:06.850 --> 00:13:10.409 in this one assembly, in this one audience auditorium. 00:13:11.750 --> 00:13:18.200 And I kept seeing a woman over there yeah like 00:13:18.200 --> 00:13:22.720 thirty forty people away every time i turned 00:13:22.720 --> 00:13:25.720 she seemed to turn every time i looked at her 00:13:25.720 --> 00:13:27.860 i don't know what it was that was magnetizing 00:13:27.860 --> 00:13:31.379 me to her presence her energy her vibration her 00:13:31.379 --> 00:13:35.250 signature her clothes whatever it was And I do 00:13:35.250 --> 00:13:37.970 this. I've got married and things like this from 00:13:37.970 --> 00:13:40.009 following my intuition. So I'm going to tell 00:13:40.009 --> 00:13:42.110 you how I follow my intuition in this instance. 00:13:42.470 --> 00:13:46.519 So I walk up to this person and I told her. But 00:13:46.519 --> 00:13:48.179 to be honest with you, I saw you from across 00:13:48.179 --> 00:13:52.059 the room. I don't know who you are or what we 00:13:52.059 --> 00:13:54.220 have to speak about, but I felt drawn to you. 00:13:54.320 --> 00:13:56.179 And as a matter of fact, then I bring in the 00:13:56.179 --> 00:13:58.460 physical. Every time I look towards you, you 00:13:58.460 --> 00:14:00.659 seem to turn towards me. Now, I'm either making 00:14:00.659 --> 00:14:04.100 that up or let's find out. My name is, I'm a 00:14:04.100 --> 00:14:07.000 presentation coach, body therapist, and she wound 00:14:07.000 --> 00:14:09.120 up being one of my best clients. She was a lawyer 00:14:09.120 --> 00:14:12.009 and for three or four, five, six. 10 months. 00:14:12.230 --> 00:14:15.429 She was a fantastic client of mine. And it was 00:14:15.429 --> 00:14:18.389 a great experience. Trusting intuition and following 00:14:18.389 --> 00:14:22.210 through reaps great rewards. And that's one of 00:14:22.210 --> 00:14:26.470 my networking experiences. The principle is feel 00:14:26.470 --> 00:14:30.070 the energy. Feel where you're drawn. Notice if 00:14:30.070 --> 00:14:32.889 you're uplifted by that experience of who you're 00:14:32.889 --> 00:14:37.370 looking at. Forget the agenda. Forget the lines. 00:14:37.450 --> 00:14:39.610 Forget what to say. Be honest. I'll give you 00:14:39.610 --> 00:14:42.000 another example, okay? This is not networking. 00:14:42.220 --> 00:14:44.799 This is how I met one of the wives that I was 00:14:44.799 --> 00:14:48.120 married to. I'm now very happy with myself. All 00:14:48.120 --> 00:14:52.159 oneness. All oneness. New relationship with that. 00:14:52.259 --> 00:14:55.200 So I was driving my bicycle, my pushbike, here 00:14:55.200 --> 00:14:59.139 in Australia. I was north of Brisbane, living 00:14:59.139 --> 00:15:01.740 there at the time. I was riding my bicycle on 00:15:01.740 --> 00:15:05.320 this park near the ocean. And a woman smiles 00:15:05.320 --> 00:15:08.139 at me. She has two dogs. She's walking two dogs. 00:15:08.419 --> 00:15:13.039 She gives me this huge smile. I keep thinking 00:15:13.039 --> 00:15:15.539 about it. I'm riding my bicycle. It's maybe 30, 00:15:15.639 --> 00:15:19.659 40 seconds now. Gary, turn around. You don't 00:15:19.659 --> 00:15:22.279 know what you might have missed. Seize the moment. 00:15:22.440 --> 00:15:25.519 Follow your intuition and tell the truth. So 00:15:25.519 --> 00:15:27.960 I went back. I stopped in front of her and I 00:15:27.960 --> 00:15:30.320 said, excuse me, you gave me the most beautiful 00:15:30.320 --> 00:15:34.019 smile. I was being honest back there. And it 00:15:34.019 --> 00:15:35.679 just really touched me. I don't know who you 00:15:35.679 --> 00:15:38.779 are, yet I want to meet you. We were married 00:15:38.779 --> 00:15:44.480 16 weeks later. So following your intuition is 00:15:44.480 --> 00:15:47.899 a physical experience where the energy gets uplifted 00:15:47.899 --> 00:15:50.179 when you have a particular thought, whether it's 00:15:50.179 --> 00:15:55.480 in a networking meeting or out in a park or in 00:15:55.480 --> 00:15:57.519 a large audience. You have another question. 00:15:57.620 --> 00:16:00.279 I can feel it. Well, what I'm gathering is you 00:16:00.279 --> 00:16:04.080 have to be your authentic self. Authenticity 00:16:04.080 --> 00:16:08.000 speaks volumes. it does i used to when i was 00:16:08.000 --> 00:16:10.399 a teenager and i was growing up in white plains 00:16:10.399 --> 00:16:13.840 new york i went to a private high school that 00:16:13.840 --> 00:16:16.899 was all boys and i felt awkward with girls not 00:16:16.899 --> 00:16:19.450 even though i I wound up having many relationships 00:16:19.450 --> 00:16:21.970 and four marriages, etc. But that's another story. 00:16:22.269 --> 00:16:24.470 So I remember, and I haven't thought about this 00:16:24.470 --> 00:16:27.669 in probably 40, 50, 60 years, that when I was 00:16:27.669 --> 00:16:30.830 on the phone, I wrote down jokes to girls that 00:16:30.830 --> 00:16:33.210 I was into. And I read the jokes on the phone. 00:16:33.690 --> 00:16:37.950 Oh, my God. It's been a long ways. Now I trust. 00:16:40.169 --> 00:16:45.009 Leap. And the net will appear. I trust the unknown. 00:16:45.269 --> 00:16:48.179 I like the unknown. There's a certain feeling 00:16:48.179 --> 00:16:52.679 of security that people, false security, have 00:16:52.679 --> 00:16:55.720 when they want to know what to say before they 00:16:55.720 --> 00:16:57.940 say it. When I do my presentation coaching with 00:16:57.940 --> 00:17:00.840 people, I want to get the structure first before 00:17:00.840 --> 00:17:02.720 presenting it. No, just tell me about it. The 00:17:02.720 --> 00:17:06.640 structure will form itself. Chagall, one of my 00:17:06.640 --> 00:17:10.220 great mentors, beautiful artist, beautiful, playful, 00:17:10.660 --> 00:17:14.400 joyful, biblical, he had tremendous wisdom in 00:17:14.400 --> 00:17:16.460 his paintings. Someone asked him once, how do 00:17:16.460 --> 00:17:19.279 you do that? How do you make these amazing shapes 00:17:19.279 --> 00:17:24.299 that are so accurate? And he said this, I don't 00:17:24.299 --> 00:17:27.240 focus on the shapes. I focus on the feelings, 00:17:27.339 --> 00:17:30.019 the colors, and the colors become the shapes, 00:17:30.019 --> 00:17:33.789 and the shapes become... The forms and the forms 00:17:33.789 --> 00:17:36.309 become what you're seeing in the imagery. So 00:17:36.309 --> 00:17:39.309 starting with the feeling and seeing what sound, 00:17:39.390 --> 00:17:41.829 movement, word, wisdom comes from that. This 00:17:41.829 --> 00:17:43.809 is my way through life. It's very different. 00:17:43.910 --> 00:17:48.430 I recognize that. That's all right. Let me go 00:17:48.430 --> 00:17:51.309 on. So what's the difference between showing 00:17:51.309 --> 00:17:55.990 up in a room and truly being present? And how 00:17:55.990 --> 00:17:59.089 can that shift transform a business conversation? 00:17:59.829 --> 00:18:02.839 Okay. I need to know your... making that as a 00:18:02.839 --> 00:18:04.339 distinction? Because to me, that could be the 00:18:04.339 --> 00:18:07.420 same thing. So please explain that in more detail 00:18:07.420 --> 00:18:11.579 so I can make a distinction. Okay. So usually 00:18:11.579 --> 00:18:16.579 when somebody shows up in a room, they're really 00:18:16.579 --> 00:18:20.400 not present because you have to be confident, 00:18:20.759 --> 00:18:22.480 you have to know where you are, you have to know 00:18:22.480 --> 00:18:24.539 what you're doing, and you have to be present 00:18:24.539 --> 00:18:28.460 in a room. And just as another factor I'm going 00:18:28.460 --> 00:18:33.500 to bring into this was I go when I do a networking 00:18:33.500 --> 00:18:38.140 event or something else, I go in with a servant's 00:18:38.140 --> 00:18:43.240 heart. OK, I go in and I see what can I do for 00:18:43.240 --> 00:18:46.579 this person instead of saying, oh, look, I have 00:18:46.579 --> 00:18:48.759 this to sell that to sell. I can do this for 00:18:48.759 --> 00:18:52.660 you. Listen, what can I do to make you more successful? 00:18:53.200 --> 00:18:55.460 Okay, I got it. Okay, that answers it. That's 00:18:55.460 --> 00:18:58.019 it. That answers the question. And now I'll answer 00:18:58.019 --> 00:18:59.920 my own version of you asking me that question. 00:19:00.140 --> 00:19:02.160 The difference between showing up and being fully 00:19:02.160 --> 00:19:04.859 present. Now I understand the question. Yeah. 00:19:06.500 --> 00:19:09.759 The difference between showing up, which to me, 00:19:09.759 --> 00:19:11.799 in the way you describe it, is not showing up 00:19:11.799 --> 00:19:14.970 as being present, but showing up. With all of 00:19:14.970 --> 00:19:18.130 the stress, do I have my shirt buttoned and is 00:19:18.130 --> 00:19:20.910 my hair looking good, performing, so to speak, 00:19:20.950 --> 00:19:23.029 or what do I want to get out of this? What can 00:19:23.029 --> 00:19:25.869 I give to this? So here's how I do this. This 00:19:25.869 --> 00:19:31.329 is how I address it. One, I do what I've already 00:19:31.329 --> 00:19:34.309 told you I do, which is I feel where my body, 00:19:34.390 --> 00:19:40.390 energy, eye contact is drawn and I move towards 00:19:40.390 --> 00:19:43.970 that no matter what it is. However, if I have 00:19:43.970 --> 00:19:49.130 the point of view or the thought inside of how 00:19:49.130 --> 00:19:51.289 can I be of service, just like what you said, 00:19:51.390 --> 00:19:53.789 to the situation, I don't think so much as about 00:19:53.789 --> 00:19:57.170 the person as what does this moment need? Because 00:19:57.170 --> 00:19:58.990 the moment needs something, but that person, 00:19:59.190 --> 00:20:02.690 their emergency, they fell down, their wife is 00:20:02.690 --> 00:20:06.720 this, or I broke my... It's colored by that, 00:20:06.880 --> 00:20:09.500 what just happened before. So when I look at 00:20:09.500 --> 00:20:11.400 it, I'm not just looking at the person, I'm looking 00:20:11.400 --> 00:20:15.680 at all that the moment is calling for to be in 00:20:15.680 --> 00:20:20.240 service. I recall recently someone who I highly 00:20:20.240 --> 00:20:24.720 respect gave me, gave on his podcast, on his 00:20:24.720 --> 00:20:27.519 international show, a description of why are 00:20:27.519 --> 00:20:29.599 we here on this earth. And he gave this beautiful 00:20:29.599 --> 00:20:33.200 one -sentence description. He said, we are here 00:20:33.200 --> 00:20:39.049 to be in service. to the creator in service to 00:20:39.049 --> 00:20:44.450 creation. That's it. And I go by that. And that 00:20:44.450 --> 00:20:47.150 serves me really well when I'm in a networking 00:20:47.150 --> 00:20:50.390 meeting or a session. I'll tell you something 00:20:50.390 --> 00:20:52.509 that works for me online. This is a bit different, 00:20:52.589 --> 00:20:56.049 but it's a strategy. It's not always following 00:20:56.049 --> 00:20:58.990 my feelings. I have a strategy that works as 00:20:58.990 --> 00:21:02.890 well. And this is what I do. So let's say we're 00:21:02.890 --> 00:21:06.789 on an online networking session. Okay, and people 00:21:06.789 --> 00:21:09.170 are talking to each other in the chat and people 00:21:09.170 --> 00:21:13.130 are introducing each other for 30 seconds to 00:21:13.130 --> 00:21:14.829 a minute and sometimes a bit longer depending 00:21:14.829 --> 00:21:17.470 on how small the group is. This is what I do 00:21:17.470 --> 00:21:22.109 with almost everyone. I find where the yes is. 00:21:22.349 --> 00:21:26.769 I find where I feel a sincere deep connection 00:21:26.769 --> 00:21:29.089 on some level with this person. I don't know 00:21:29.089 --> 00:21:31.470 what it's going to be later and I write them 00:21:31.470 --> 00:21:35.140 and I say these exact words. remembering what 00:21:35.140 --> 00:21:40.900 I put in the chat. Really loved your share, their 00:21:40.900 --> 00:21:44.500 name, particularly what you said about and whatever 00:21:44.500 --> 00:21:46.779 it was that connected me with them. I'd love 00:21:46.779 --> 00:21:50.700 to have a video chat and explore mutual support. 00:21:51.660 --> 00:21:54.680 Here's my website. As the presentation doctor 00:21:54.680 --> 00:21:57.500 and speaker's mentor, I'd love to assist you, 00:21:57.559 --> 00:22:00.900 bring your message, your voice, and your wisdom 00:22:00.900 --> 00:22:06.180 out to the world. Here's a link. to have a complimentary 00:22:06.180 --> 00:22:08.319 video chat. Let's see what we can do for each 00:22:08.319 --> 00:22:11.279 other. So that's what I do in networking meetings. 00:22:11.400 --> 00:22:15.920 Exactly what I just did is what I do. And a lot 00:22:15.920 --> 00:22:18.019 of people like that. And they're genuine connections. 00:22:18.319 --> 00:22:20.960 They're not false. Because I found out what it 00:22:20.960 --> 00:22:23.480 is that really touched me. Sometimes I don't 00:22:23.480 --> 00:22:25.839 even remember. And I say, I love what you shared. 00:22:25.940 --> 00:22:28.539 Let's have a video chat. So being honest here, 00:22:28.680 --> 00:22:31.779 it's not me always being so astute. Sometimes 00:22:31.779 --> 00:22:35.859 I forget, but I do honor that I want to make 00:22:35.859 --> 00:22:39.220 connection. And that helps tremendously in networking 00:22:39.220 --> 00:22:42.920 online. Got some more questions for me? Sure. 00:22:42.980 --> 00:22:48.640 How can someone create an environment internally 00:22:48.640 --> 00:22:53.000 and externally that keeps them in the zone when 00:22:53.000 --> 00:22:56.160 networking or building relationships? described 00:22:56.160 --> 00:22:58.299 that already. I do it through physical practices. 00:22:58.519 --> 00:23:01.960 I live near a waterfall and a dam. I do yoga. 00:23:02.299 --> 00:23:05.839 I do stretching. Lately, just before this call 00:23:05.839 --> 00:23:08.180 today, I did something that I absolutely love. 00:23:08.640 --> 00:23:12.079 I told you I love to multi -sensorize affirmations 00:23:12.079 --> 00:23:14.640 when I'm working with people. So I was sitting 00:23:14.640 --> 00:23:17.980 here with the candle, with the affirmations in 00:23:17.980 --> 00:23:22.579 multiple colors and fonts. I was here with the 00:23:22.579 --> 00:23:27.019 video from voice memos on my iPhone that I was 00:23:27.019 --> 00:23:30.859 listening to while reading the words. And I say 00:23:30.859 --> 00:23:34.140 the words both once out loud and then I sing 00:23:34.140 --> 00:23:36.640 them the second time. So they multi -sensorize 00:23:36.640 --> 00:23:39.200 in my psyche and they're immediately embedded 00:23:39.200 --> 00:23:42.720 in my cellular memory. I do this as a practice 00:23:42.720 --> 00:23:46.920 to get myself into zone. It's funny. Above my 00:23:46.920 --> 00:23:49.960 head... Right here. You can't see it because 00:23:49.960 --> 00:23:53.539 I'm not going to turn. Maybe I can. If I go to 00:23:53.539 --> 00:23:56.039 the ceiling, look at those words. Can you see 00:23:56.039 --> 00:23:58.339 that? Can you read it? I can't read that. It 00:23:58.339 --> 00:24:02.619 says, get into the zone. It's above my head. 00:24:02.700 --> 00:24:06.339 It's always above my head. So to me, it's a moment 00:24:06.339 --> 00:24:10.980 -to -moment practice. Joyful discipline. Okay, 00:24:11.019 --> 00:24:14.329 good. We're getting to the end. But a lot of 00:24:14.329 --> 00:24:17.769 people hide behind their brand or their pitch. 00:24:17.930 --> 00:24:21.490 What's the first step towards showing up as your 00:24:21.490 --> 00:24:29.170 full self in a business relationship? Remove 00:24:29.170 --> 00:24:33.910 the script. Go through the skid. Be willing to 00:24:33.910 --> 00:24:37.769 explore the unknown. Watch the mystery. And you 00:24:37.769 --> 00:24:40.759 look at it this way. boats are not meant to be 00:24:40.759 --> 00:24:43.180 stuck in the harbor they're meant to be out into 00:24:43.180 --> 00:24:46.839 the open sea or at least charting a course somewhere 00:24:46.839 --> 00:24:50.140 from one place to another so if you hold on to 00:24:50.140 --> 00:24:53.839 what's familiar you're just going to have dull 00:24:53.839 --> 00:24:58.180 monotonous plain vanilla ordinary responses However, 00:24:58.180 --> 00:25:01.099 if you challenge yourself to go, I trust being 00:25:01.099 --> 00:25:04.500 in the unknown. I trust whatever shows up in 00:25:04.500 --> 00:25:07.180 my interaction with this other human, that I 00:25:07.180 --> 00:25:10.339 can find the yes. I can find what delights me, 00:25:10.420 --> 00:25:13.480 inspires me, nurtures me, empowers me. And there 00:25:13.480 --> 00:25:16.259 is a solid connection between one human and another. 00:25:16.460 --> 00:25:19.559 From that, it may not go anywhere. Yet I'll tell 00:25:19.559 --> 00:25:23.079 you, it's more likely to than focusing on a script. 00:25:23.180 --> 00:25:25.720 If you have a script or something that you say 00:25:25.720 --> 00:25:29.619 or brand, it can be, even when I teach people 00:25:29.619 --> 00:25:33.700 about public speaking, the PowerPoint can be 00:25:33.700 --> 00:25:36.099 a hiding place because you're reading it rather 00:25:36.099 --> 00:25:38.339 than connecting with the human in front of you. 00:25:39.369 --> 00:25:43.569 Also, using gestures to make pictures of what 00:25:43.569 --> 00:25:45.730 you're saying will take you out of your being 00:25:45.730 --> 00:25:48.990 a talking head so you're not stuck in your brand 00:25:48.990 --> 00:25:52.349 or who you think you have to identify with because 00:25:52.349 --> 00:25:54.250 you think that's what people want. They want 00:25:54.250 --> 00:25:57.730 your humanity, your tenderness, your sharing, 00:25:57.769 --> 00:26:01.390 your caring as strength, your vulnerability as 00:26:01.390 --> 00:26:03.589 strength. And this is what we're here all to 00:26:03.589 --> 00:26:07.789 learn and practice. Outstanding. Outstanding. 00:26:07.990 --> 00:26:11.670 Okay, let's bring this podcast full circle. And 00:26:11.670 --> 00:26:16.829 looking ahead, what's one powerful mindset or 00:26:16.829 --> 00:26:20.029 practice you believe every entrepreneur should 00:26:20.029 --> 00:26:23.930 adopt to create more meaningful, profitable connections? 00:26:27.349 --> 00:26:30.809 The first word that came in my mind when my energy 00:26:30.809 --> 00:26:34.130 lifted up was the following affirmation. To say 00:26:34.130 --> 00:26:37.390 this to yourself. to write it down, to sing it, 00:26:37.490 --> 00:26:42.750 to dance it, to paint it. Simple message. It's 00:26:42.750 --> 00:26:51.470 an affirmation. And the words are... It's safe 00:26:51.470 --> 00:26:58.970 and easy for me to share my voice message and 00:26:58.970 --> 00:27:01.890 wisdom with you. And a shorter version is probably 00:27:01.890 --> 00:27:05.759 even better. I love sharing my... voice message 00:27:05.759 --> 00:27:09.480 and wisdom with you. And an ending is often called 00:27:09.480 --> 00:27:14.079 for. I love sharing my message and wisdom with 00:27:14.079 --> 00:27:17.019 you and being fully received. So we have a lovely 00:27:17.019 --> 00:27:19.299 connection wherever it goes. So any variation 00:27:19.299 --> 00:27:23.299 of that, it's basically a short, shortest, simplest, 00:27:23.420 --> 00:27:25.579 strongest, specific statement. I call that the 00:27:25.579 --> 00:27:29.619 5S principle affirmation that you can speak, 00:27:29.619 --> 00:27:34.259 write down, say it, sing it. And in a variety 00:27:34.259 --> 00:27:37.920 of multisensory ways, watch the magic, how quickly 00:27:37.920 --> 00:27:40.500 that will be manifest. So that's my greatest 00:27:40.500 --> 00:27:43.299 message to you is create an affirmation that 00:27:43.299 --> 00:27:45.740 you don't just write, that you live it every 00:27:45.740 --> 00:27:49.559 single moment, this moment, all the time in the 00:27:49.559 --> 00:27:53.900 world. Gary, that's great. Wonderful advice, 00:27:54.160 --> 00:27:57.259 things to live by, things to know. It's just 00:27:57.259 --> 00:28:00.720 everything you're saying, just I can resonate. 00:28:01.069 --> 00:28:04.450 with. So I want to thank you on every level. 00:28:04.789 --> 00:28:08.009 But let's say if somebody wanted to get hold 00:28:08.009 --> 00:28:10.990 of you, whether I know you're in Australia, I 00:28:10.990 --> 00:28:13.190 know you're on a mountain, but if they want to 00:28:13.190 --> 00:28:16.230 get hold of you, what's the best way for somebody 00:28:16.230 --> 00:28:19.250 to get hold of you? Sure. And I'll give you some 00:28:19.250 --> 00:28:21.329 links that you can put in the notes for this 00:28:21.329 --> 00:28:23.069 too. I'll send that to you afterwards. But for 00:28:23.069 --> 00:28:25.869 now, the very easy thing for you to remember, 00:28:26.049 --> 00:28:28.029 you who are listening, you who are watching, 00:28:28.230 --> 00:28:30.809 you who have a pen nearby, yes, get a pen out. 00:28:30.910 --> 00:28:32.869 That's right. Yeah. So in that drawer there, 00:28:32.950 --> 00:28:37.670 where you put it last, that's it. Okay. So here 00:28:37.670 --> 00:28:47.230 it is. Pause. You can reach me easiest. By putting 00:28:47.230 --> 00:28:49.690 in the link, or writing it down now so you can 00:28:49.690 --> 00:28:55.589 remember it, mypresentationdoctor .com, spelled 00:28:55.589 --> 00:29:01.690 out, mypresentationdoctor .com. That has everything. 00:29:01.789 --> 00:29:05.309 It has links, videos, keynote presentations, 00:29:05.829 --> 00:29:10.690 inspirational videos, blogs, all kinds of ways 00:29:10.690 --> 00:29:12.970 that we can connect. And there's a way you can 00:29:12.970 --> 00:29:16.220 contact me. Happy to give you a 20 -minute complimentary 00:29:16.220 --> 00:29:20.319 video chat to see how I can be of any support. 00:29:20.559 --> 00:29:24.279 So you, build your business, effective, efficient 00:29:24.279 --> 00:29:27.359 networking, and fulfill your life purpose. That's 00:29:27.359 --> 00:29:30.680 what I'm here for. Larry, thank you so much for 00:29:30.680 --> 00:29:33.460 coming on the podcast. I hope my listeners got 00:29:33.460 --> 00:29:37.400 everything that you wanted out of it. And if 00:29:37.400 --> 00:29:39.980 not, they can always re -listen to it. But thank 00:29:39.980 --> 00:29:42.720 you again for coming on the podcast. A pleasure. 00:29:42.799 --> 00:29:45.140 True pleasure there, Michael. Thank you. I'm 00:29:45.140 --> 00:29:47.640 really honored to be having you ask me those 00:29:47.640 --> 00:29:50.160 questions, to have you be as open as you are 00:29:50.160 --> 00:29:53.299 to me, multi -sensorize a topic that could be 00:29:53.299 --> 00:29:56.700 just a talking head download. So I'm grateful 00:29:56.700 --> 00:30:02.519 for the opportunity to make a difference. Well, 00:30:02.680 --> 00:30:06.160 hold on, folks. Don't go anywhere. Let's hear 00:30:06.160 --> 00:30:09.839 from our sponsors. David Neal, co -founder, Revved 00:30:09.839 --> 00:30:13.369 Up Kids. Revved Up Kids is on a mission to protect 00:30:13.369 --> 00:30:17.170 children and teens from sexual abuse, exploitation, 00:30:17.430 --> 00:30:20.490 and trafficking. They provide prevention training 00:30:20.490 --> 00:30:24.250 programs for children, teens, and adults. To 00:30:24.250 --> 00:30:28.890 learn more, go to revvedupkids .org. Henry Kaplan, 00:30:29.049 --> 00:30:32.089 Century 21. When it comes to making the biggest 00:30:32.089 --> 00:30:35.089 financial decision of your life, leave it in 00:30:35.089 --> 00:30:37.930 the hands of a proven professional, Henry Kaplan. 00:30:38.170 --> 00:30:41.450 Henry is a global real estate agent with Century 00:30:41.450 --> 00:30:45.890 21, celebrating his 41st year in business. No 00:30:45.890 --> 00:30:48.329 matter where you're moving, Henry has the right 00:30:48.329 --> 00:30:51.869 connections for you. You can contact Henry at 00:30:51.869 --> 00:30:58.470 561 -427 -4888. A huge thank you to our guests 00:30:58.470 --> 00:31:02.259 for sharing such insights today. And of course, 00:31:02.259 --> 00:31:05.200 a big shout out to you, our amazing listeners, 00:31:05.420 --> 00:31:08.119 for tuning in and spending your time with us. 00:31:08.359 --> 00:31:11.700 If you're interested in my digital courses, being 00:31:11.700 --> 00:31:14.420 coached or having me come and talk to your company, 00:31:14.660 --> 00:31:18.079 just go to Michael and fill out the request form. 00:31:18.579 --> 00:31:21.920 Remember, networking isn't about being perfect. 00:31:22.119 --> 00:31:25.180 It's about being present. So take what you've 00:31:25.180 --> 00:31:28.019 learned today, get out there and make some meaningful 00:31:28.019 --> 00:31:30.980 connections. If you've enjoyed this episode, 00:31:31.180 --> 00:31:34.119 please don't forget to subscribe. Leave us a 00:31:34.119 --> 00:31:36.740 review and share it with someone who could use 00:31:36.740 --> 00:31:39.859 a little networking inspiration. Let's keep the 00:31:39.859 --> 00:31:42.859 conversation going. You can find me on Apple, 00:31:43.000 --> 00:31:47.819 Spotify, Pandora, YouTube, or my website, foreman 00:31:47.819 --> 00:31:50.220 .com slash podcasts.