Welcome back to Networking Unleashed, Building
Profitable Connections. I'm your host, Michael
Foreman, and today we're talking about a game
changer in the world of business and networking
communication. Listen, that's right in my wheelhouse.
So listen, you've probably heard how you say
something is just as important as what you say.
And what if I told you that in today's competitive
environment, Superior communication isn't optional.
It's your differentiator. My guest today is a
master of helping people deliver messages that
land with power, purpose, and profit. He believes
that inferior doesn't win. And in this episode,
you're going to find out exactly what that means
for your next pitch, presentation, or conversation.
Whether you're networking in a room full of strangers
or speaking on a stage with high stakes, this
conversation will help you out, speak up, and
secure real results. Let's dive in. Now, before
I introduce George, I just want to say that this
is exactly what I talk about. This is exactly
what I do, what I'm so passionate about when
I go on stages, when I go into companies. He's
the real deal. So I would like to introduce George
Torok, and he has such a vast background. I'm
going to let him introduce himself, but George,
why don't you take it away? Thank you, Michael.
Delighted to be talking with you and your listeners
here on Networking Unleashed. And everyone starts
somewhere, Michael, and I started out as a shy
and introverted student. Now, those are two separate
aspects. Some people confuse them, but shyness
is a learned behavior, which means it can be
unlearned. So introversion versus extroversion,
I define as where you get your energy. I'm still
an introvert. I know what to do. I can go to
the networking events. And when it's time, I
can stand up on a stage and speak to people.
And I enjoy that. And I'm drained after. Totally
wears me out. So that's where I started. And
it actually started to change when I was in high
school because I wanted to become popular. But
I was afraid to stand out. So I pushed myself
to be bold, to stand up, to answer questions
in class, to ask the teacher questions, to walk
up to that girl and talk to her. Oh, she's going
to hurt me. No, she's not going to make fun of
me. And I got over that. But it was a struggle.
And later in my career, I learned to communicate
more effectively. I'll tell you what the big
change was. I attended a two -day workshop on
presentation skills. And I went to that workshop
thinking, in fact, my boss said, you don't need
this. You're already good enough. And I thought,
yeah, I'm good enough. And I went to the workshop
and I came away with two big ahas. One, I wasn't
as good as I thought I was. And I had to discover
that myself. No one could tell me that. And two,
I learned that effective communication is a skill
set. And it's techniques that are based on principles.
And the techniques can be learned, adapted to
your style. But it's all skill. It's not natural
talent. And anyone can learn to become a better
communicator. And if you don't, you're going
to be left behind. Absolutely. I can't, you made
so many great points, but the most important
thing is that networking communication is a skill
and a talent. Okay. So you have to, and what
do you do when you have to, what do you have
to do to get better at a skill? What do you have
to do with a talent? You have to practice, practice
and practice. And then when you're finished with
that, you have to practice again. Okay, so I've
developed about 10 questions that I'd like to
ask you, but I'm really interested in your answers
because each one is something that I talk about.
So I'm very interested to hear. You talk about
communication being a differentiator. How can
professionals use this edge to stand out when
networking in crowded industries? People will
remember you based on how they felt when they
met you and when you had a conversation with
them. And that will be determined by how you
communicated with them. And I'll give you an
example of a recent conversation at a networking
event I attended. The person said to me, he thought
he was being, perhaps he thought he was being
clever. So his opening statement was, what brings
you here today? And I could have said my car
or it could have been funny and said my steed.
But instead, I said curiosity, curiosity in the
search for a positive conversation. And he looked
at me and he didn't know what to say. He had
no follow up. So he started the conversation,
what he thought was a clever question, but he
didn't know how to continue it. And so it. We
picked up the conversation at some point, but
it went through this flat part. So be prepared
to listen to people. And he could have responded
with, oh, that's different. What makes you curious,
George? So pick up on what people say and engage
them, and they'll remember you. And I don't remember
the guy's name. And if I see him again, I'm probably
not going to go walk over to him because he left
me with a yucky feeling. Right. That's right.
And the important thing that you said was that
you had to have active listening. Active listening
is so important because you have to respond to
what the person is asking you, not the next thing
that you want to say. So when he got confused,
because he tried to come out of his little bag
of tricks of what to say, and you just hit him
right back. So that's very good. And I'll have
to remember that. Okay, so what are the most
common mistakes people make when presenting themselves
at networking events and how can they avoid them?
One of the most common mistakes is that they
think it's all about them. that they're there
to give their 30 second or two minute or pitch
about, here's what I do. Here's what I sell.
Give me your card. I'll get lost. Get out of
my face. This is the feeling that I have when
that happens. And here's another, I remember
a person approached me and they start talking
to me, but while they're talking to me. their
eyes are looking up. They're going up like this.
And I realized that what they were doing is they
weren't talking to me. They were reading the
script that they had memorized in their head.
So that's all they were there for. And then when
they're done, I just looked at them and said,
well, that's interesting. So the first thing
is, it's not about you. It's about making connections.
And connections means building a relationship.
And another mistake is to write people off because
you think, oh, this person is an incline for
me. I'm not going to talk to them. I'm not going
to waste my time with them. Guess what? That
person might introduce you to someone else or
they might simply give you energy when you arrive
the next time because you already have a connection.
So those are a couple of the mistakes. And the
third mistake is. Not following up because it's
about a relationship. And can you imagine if
you can you imagine getting married and the first
year you the year later after the marriage, you
have a first anniversary and you give your spouse
flowers and a card and all that. And you think,
OK, that's done. I don't have to do that anymore.
Don't work that way. That's a good analogy. I
haven't thought about it that way. Follow up.
is so important. It's more important, I think,
than actually meeting the person, by the way.
But the follow -up and the way you do it and
what you do is so very important. And you brought
it out. That's a great analogy. If you don't
mind, I'm going to have to steal that, okay?
All yours. It's free. It's a gift. Okay. Okay.
So you say inferior doesn't win. What are the
signs that someone is delivering in an inferior
presentation or pitch? And how do they level
up fast? A sure sign is when it's when they're
talking about it's all about themselves. And
I get another example. I attended a webinar the
other day and 10 minutes in. The speakers are
still introducing each other. And I used to show
up early for those type of webinars, but now
I know to show up at least a couple minutes in
so I can skip that nonsense. But 10 minutes in,
they're still introducing each other. They're
talking about themselves. I don't care. That's
not why I showed up. So stop talking about yourself
and make it about the audience real quick. Engage
the other person quickly and make it about them.
And here's a tip to make. your presentation more
about your listener, your audience. Use the word
you. So here's what this means to you. Here's
how you can benefit. Here's what you can do.
Or has this ever happened to you? So speak to
them as if you're speaking. So if you're speaking
to an audience, speak to them as if you're speaking
to one person. And use the same, if you're speaking
to one person, you're speaking to one person,
but use the word you and stop using the word.
If the speaker is using the word I a lot, they're
into themselves. That's very good. And I would
say that in my presentations, I use the word
you because I always believe that I'm talking
to one person. I may be talking to 10, 20, 50,
100, 200, 300. I always use the word you. So
that's very good. I hope everybody that's listening
is listening to George because he knows what
he's talking about. Listen to what he's saying
and use you in your presentations. And Michael,
I'll add one point to that. Don't say you guys.
Yuck. That's so gang talk. That's gang talk,
street talk. You don't talk to people, you guys.
Well, especially when you're trying to be inclusive,
right? Inclusive, meaning men and women. So if
you say you guys, most of the women will say,
all right, I understand he's saying it to the
masses, but some of them may say, what about
me? So absolutely, you're 100 % correct. In your
experience, how does a powerful presentation
translate into profitable connections? And can
you share a specific story? Ah, an effective
presentation leaves people knowing what to do
next. And I'll give you an example of actually
a client that I helped. This client was pitching
for a $10 million contract. And they had been
failing in their presentations recently. So I
coached him on this. And we spent... three days
together working on this presentation. And initially,
he had a 60 -minute presentation because they
said, you've got 60 minutes. Guess what? You
don't need to fill it. When we recreated his
presentation, it was 12 minutes long. He's got
60 minutes, and 12 minutes wasn't a magic number.
It's just that when we were recreating the presentation,
we got to that point, and I realized that was
all he needed to say. And this is what many people
don't realize. Say less. Say the minimum that
you need to say to get the results that you want.
And in this case, he delivered his 12 minutes.
Now, can you imagine the committee listening
to him and going, wow, the man's done in 12.
This is fabulous. I like this guy already. And
they spent the rest of the time asking him questions.
So it became more of a conversation than a pitch.
Very good. And if you keep it conversational,
then that will also keep the attention of the
people involved. Okay, so give me your top strategies
for making a lasting first impression, whether
in person, on stage, or even in Zoom. Different
environments, but there are some similar techniques.
First of all, connect with people. And so, for
example, when you're on stage, make eye contact
with people. Now, what if you got 100, 500 people
in a room, 1 ,000 people? You might, I can't
look at everybody. Yes, but it's not who you
looked at. It's who believed you looked at them.
So if you look off to the one side here, you're
looking at that person over there, that five
or six or maybe 10 people around them believe
you looked at them. So talk to them for a sentence.
or two and then move your eyes over here to another
part of the room so by the end of the presentation
everyone feels that you looked at them and therefore
we're talking directly to them now when you're
in zoom of course you need to spend the time
looking into the camera not the screen because
you think i'm looking at them no you're not it
doesn't look that way you got to look at the
camera which is hard to do it's a training but
the audience needs to believe that you looked
at them another technique is to engage people
throughout. Our attention span is so short today
that you need to engage people every, it depends
how many seconds or minutes you need to engage
them. And there's two main ways you engage people.
One is changes in your delivery, and two is by
involving them. And one of the best techniques
that actually uses Both of those methods is to
tell stories that involve them, that they can
see themselves involved in. So there are a few
of the ideas to connect with people. And of course,
start on time. And even if you didn't start on
time because the emcee was late, you finish on
time and maybe a little bit early. I watched
a speaker at an event. They had five minutes
to speak. They spoke for 15. And they said at
the end, oh, oops, we went a little over time.
No, you didn't. You went three times over. And
why would you think it was little? And so finish
on time or a little bit early. And people go,
whoa, that wasn't so bad. That's right. That's
right. And when you try to engage your audience,
I always have them ask them a question, have
them raise their hand. you know, or something
else like that. And I always try to engage. I
think my audience, the bigger audience last year
was about 300 people. And I broke it up into
four segments, sections. And I just crossed my
eyes and I stared right at the people and everybody
thought I was looking at them, but I didn't see
anybody, but that was just me. Okay. How does
one balance authenticity with professionalism?
in high stakes networking or speaking situations.
Ah, and that's a terrific question to ask because
some people say they, some people, for example,
say, oh, I don't rehearse because I want to be
natural. Guess what? Anyone who's good at what
they do in any kind of performance, whether it's
music, dance. The sporting world, you think those
people who are out there playing those sports,
those multi -million dollar athletes don't rehearse,
don't practice. You think that the great pianists
of the world don't play scales to rehearse to
get their fingers working. Of course they do.
That's how they come across natural. But see,
too many people stop rehearsing too early. So
first of all is to remember to rehearse. And
then, ah, but. Stay real. Be in the moment. Just
because you are the performer, you're on stage,
stop thinking of yourself as a star because the
audience will feel it. And I watched a presentation
last week where one person told his story. One
of the speakers just told his story of how he
built his business and the challenges they had
and the problems. Was he dynamic? No. However,
he was real. And when he was telling his story
of struggle, and then this happened, and that
went wrong, and we're thinking, holy crap, how
does he keep going? How does he have the perseverance?
I don't know if I could do it. So we felt him,
his story. Another speaker spoke and gave us
wonderful insights, yet he had an attitude. He
had an attitude that just, he's not someone that
I would want to sit and have coffee with because
he would spend the whole time talking about himself.
So connect with the audience. You are not the
star. Your audience is the star. Absolutely.
And I was just going to say that I always make
the audience the star, right? But I go into networking
communication with what's called a servant's
heart. Right. I'm always looking to give and
not to receive. Now, people say you go to a networking
event and you're looking to sell either your
widgets or whatever the case may be. Take that
completely out of your mind. The people that
I coach, I tell them all the same thing. Go in
there looking to give to be that source for somebody
that's going to be the referral source for two
people. And you'll get so much more out of it
when you're looking to give. not receive. So
that's my main story. And that's powerful advice.
And more people need to understand that the grease,
if you assume that networking is a machine, the
lubrication, the grease that keeps it working
is helping other people. Absolutely. Absolutely.
Okay. Let's talk about energy and delivery. What
should networkers know about tone, pace, and
presence? when they communicate. Your voice says
a lot about how you feel. It says whether you
are excited. It says whether you are being positive
or whether you are maybe being deceptive or even
feeling not confident about what you're saying.
So your tone, your pace. So for example, And
it's not necessarily how you feel. It's how the
audience perceives the message. So, for example,
if you are chattering away at me a mile a minute
and I barely have a time to listening to what
you're saying, I'm trying to digest what you're
saying, but you're going so fast that I can't
even decipher. That's annoying. And it strikes
me. It comes across as you are obviously nervous
talking about this topic, especially if you just
keep talking without pausing. So, for example,
some people believe that they can't have any
blank spaces, can't have any pauses in there.
But the reality is the pauses give you a chance
to breathe. And it gives the audience a chance
to digest what you just said. And if you can
demonstrate that you can stop talking for two
or three seconds, the audience feels more comfortable
because it's not like you're trying to ram something
down our throat. Absolutely. And what I've used
is a good rule of thumb. Comedians. Comedians
have a great presence. They pause at the right
time. They actually wait. for something back
from the audience. And I follow a lot of comedians.
And when they're on stage and something doesn't
work, they look at it and they say, okay, that
didn't work. So I'm going to write that down.
And they move on. So if you make a mistake, it's
not the end of the world. You made a mistake.
But when you are active listening and you respond
to what they said, pause. And I read an entire
book about the pause after you listen. because
it is so very important. It does, A, give them
time to digest what you have said, and also gives
you time to respond to what they said. It serves
multiple purposes, but the pause is so very important
with the pace and your tone. Always, you raise
your voice, you lower your voice, you raise your
voice, you lower your voice, but you have to
do it in such a way. But yes, very good, very
good. Okay, so here's a good one. What role does
storytelling play in effective communication,
especially when trying to build meaningful business
relationships? Stories make the difference between
success and failure. No question. Stories engage
us. Stories stimulate our imagination. Stories
build trust. The best stories are ones that create
a visual in the mind of your listener and trigger
an emotion. At the least... at least one of those,
either an emotion or a visual, but those are
the best stories and people need to see themselves
in your stories. And I'll give you a quick example.
I was speaking to a group of entrepreneurs and
this was actually some years ago. And I told
a story about my teenagers, about the challenge
of the teenagers. Now, the interesting fact,
the reason that I told the teenager story is
because I, at the time, I looked young for my
age and I wanted the audience to know that I
was old enough to have teenagers. So I worked
in the story about teenagers and the frustration
and communication. And I know I connected because
after my presentation, people came up to me and
started telling me about their teenagers. That's
how you should. Yep. That's how you know you're
connected with them. That's very good because
you had a connection with the people you were
speaking to. And that, of course, is the ultimate
goal. But I feel that the storytelling, it can't
be too long. The story can't take up a half an
hour. But if you have that quick story and if
you have a few stories, I use slides when I present.
But I have a few stories that I keep in my back
pocket. for those audiences that it's appropriate
for. But I feel that storytelling is a very important
part of presentation, networking, and everything
else. Not as much with networking, because networking,
you don't have that time, unless it's a one -on
-one, something like that. But yes, that's very
good. Okay. What do you recommend to someone
who struggles with speaking confidently? in front
of others, especially when trying to make a connection
that counts. First of all, realize that feeling
anxious or nervous when speaking to other people,
whether it's one person, a half dozen, or a few
hundred, feeling anxious is normal. So if you
have experienced any form of anxiety, nervousness,
you're normal, okay? You're normal. Get over
it. You're not the only person in the world.
Now, here's something to keep in mind. And here's
a question to think about. Is it more important
to feel confident or to appear confident? And
people sometimes ask this question of some of
my audiences and people say they want both. That's
nice, but you can't always have both. And there
will be those moments when you have those pangs
of anxiety. The audience, the listeners don't
need to know. They don't need to know. And so
what if you stumble, you make a mistake? Big
deal. We'll actually like you more when you appear
imperfect. Like us. When you appear human, stop
trying to be super person. You're not super person.
And even Superman had kryptonite. It's okay to
be imperfect. It's okay to be nervous. And if
you stumble, you trip on a word, don't worry
about it. Just smile. So here's the secret. When
you're feeling nervous, smile. Now, you won't
feel like smiling. You won't. But make a small
smile. And guess what? When you smile, and especially
if you smile just after you stumble, people look
at you and go, oh, the speaker's got it under
control. There's no problem. Look, he's smiling.
Everything's okay. But if you make a mistake
and you frown and go, oh, my God. Oh, I made
a mistake. They'll know. You don't want them
to know. You just show them that you're just
delivering your presentation and there's little
stumbles in there just to make you look human.
And just be human. Yeah, absolutely. And I have
found that owning the mistake, and I've made,
I can't tell you how many mistakes I've made,
right? But I just said, oh, that one's on me.
And I just moved on and went over it. And that's
the best. And the audience reacts to that. They
say, oh, he's got that type of thing. And there's
been like a lot of things. I was on a stage one
time that the floor felt, it's like a two foot
floor, a false floor, and it fell through. You
know, and I'm sitting there and I'm looking down
and I'm looking up at them. I said, boy, I'm
feeling mighty low. And I got up onto the stage
and I just moved on because it happens. Things
happen. But I'll give you an instance of what
I heard of. This was a speaker many years ago,
was on stage and they tripped and they fell down.
And of course, the audience, they're worried
about this person. And the person, while they're
down, they said. I guess I'll now take questions
from the floor. And of course, the audience burst
out into laughter because they knew he was OK.
And he got out, dusted himself off. He was able
to carry on. That's great. That's a great line.
I hope I remember something like that if it ever
happens to me. And here's something to keep in
mind. The more you. you speak in front of people,
the more likely you're going to have things go
wrong, whether it's a technical problem or a
technical problem is most common, but it could
be a disturbance from the next room. It could
be something happening and a chair falls over.
It could be a server drops a plate of food. Think
of those instances ahead of time and prepare
a line. And it doesn't have to be tremendously
funny. It could be. And it's easy. Pick a line
from a popular movie or a song or something in
the news that you can use. And people will think
they'll laugh. They'll think you are so clever.
But you prepared this line years ago. You had
it ready. You had it. Oh, beam me up, Scotty.
You've been waiting to say that line for years.
It's true. You have to seem as though. It's off
the cuff, but you're prepared for it for years.
You may never use it, but you have it in your
little bank of lines. Yeah. All right. So let's
bring this podcast full circle. If a listener
wants to become a must -remember communicator
starting today, what's the first small change
they should make and how should they speak or
present themselves? This is a combination. Say
less, listen more. Yes. I'll give you another
example of a client I was working with. He's
presenting to a group the services that he provides
and it's IT related and it can help them save
costs. And he sent me his slide deck. And, of
course, the first three, four slides were all
about him and who we are in history. I said,
get rid of that. Throw it out. No one wants that.
They don't care. I said, instead, I said, why
are you talking to this department? Well, they're
the biggest department in spending, biggest budget
in the organization. I said, okay. So you want
to connect with them on that. So start with something
that means something to them. Your first slide
will have the amount of their budget. the number
go go look it up find out the number it's the
biggest so put that on and if it's a rough approximation
fine so you put that up and you tell them here's
how much that's been budgeted or was spent last
year and then the next slide is the promise that
you make how much money you're going to save
them now you got them Yeah, that's true. Now
I, with networking communication, we say that
if you do it properly, you're going to make X
dollars more than what you made last year. So
that's very, cause that puts it in their head
immediately that saying, okay, I better listen
because either a, I'm going to save. a hundred
thousand dollars or B, I'm going to make a hundred
thousand dollars, whatever the case may be. But
put that, I learned that if you put what you
want to say really in the first slide or second
slide, it grabs her attention. Okay. I'm listening
to this now because I'm going to learn this.
And yeah, so that's very true. Very good. Okay.
So that's the last thing you want to say, George,
this was. First of all, it was enlightening for
me because I learned so much about presentation,
about networking. And even though I'm the person
that's going around and talking, I learned. So
what does that tell all of my listeners? Practice.
You never know where you're going to get more
information. And whether I use it or not is up
to me, but I'll probably use 90 % of what you
said. So if anybody listening would like to get
hold of you, either to be coached or whatever
else for business, or even just to say hi, how
can they get hold of you? Two ways, Michael.
And thank you for that offer. You can find me
on LinkedIn. That's where I'm most active. And
it's George Torok. And you can also visit the
website, speechcoachforexecutives .com. That's
speechcoachforexecutives .com. You can read the
blog posts. There are over 100 posts there of
tips and ideas. And you can contact me directly
through there as well. And we can have a chat.
And if you're interested in, if you're thinking
about improving your presentation, your communication,
and you want to find out what coaching would
look like, we can have an initial 20 -minute
call, whether that's phone or on Zoom, just to
explore. No obligation. Just reach out to me.
Very good. George, this was outstanding. I was
looking forward to this podcast for so long,
and I'll talk to you real soon. My pleasure.
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-E -V -V -E -D -U -P -K -I -D -S dot org. Well,
that's a wrap, folks. A huge thank you to our
special guests for sharing such incredible insights
today. And of course, a big shout out to you,
our amazing listeners, for tuning in and spending
your time with us. Remember, networking isn't
about being perfect. It's about being present.
So take what you've learned today, get out there
and make some meaningful connections. If you
enjoyed this episode. don't forget to subscribe,
leave us a review, and share it with someone
who could use a little networking inspiration.
Let's keep the conversation going. You can find
me on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or my website,
Michael. Until next time, keep practicing, keep
connecting, and keep building those relationships.
This is Michael signing off. Take care and happy
networking.