Welcome back to Networking Unleashed, Building
Profitable Connections, the podcast where we
explore the art and impact of powerful relationships
in business and life. I'm your host, Michael
Foreman, and today we're diving deep into one
of the most transformational concepts in networking,
developing a connector mindset. Joining me is
someone who just doesn't talk about connection,
she lives it. She's built her career around understanding
ecosystems, elevating success circles, and helping
people turn their relationships into real results.
If you've ever wondered how to move beyond surface
-level networking and actually tap into the full
force of the people around you, this episode
is your playbook. We'll unpack how to find your
support ecosystem, build career momentum through
connection, and engage your network in a way
that drives long -term success, not just short
-term wins. Get ready to shift your perspective
and sharpen your networking game, because today
we're not just making contacts, we're making
moves. Let's welcome to the show Sabine Gideon.
Sabine, welcome to the podcast. Thank you. I'm
excited to be here. I loved that introduction.
I work hard on it. So why don't you just give
us a little insight of your background, and we'll
take it from there. Absolutely. I'll cut to the
short of it today. Like I run a business that
is a professional development firm. So I work
with individuals and organizations who are looking
for coaching in the space of executive coaching,
leadership development. I do a lot of workshops
for organizations and associations as well. Part
of why I feel like I've been able to remain in
business today is for the use of my network or
being able to leverage it in a way that is mutually
beneficial. But that actually started in my corporate
career. When I first started Corporate America
right out of undergrad, I majored in HR, went
into HR. I'm also a background. I'm an immigrant
from Haiti. So I came here just shy of four,
first generation, everything. That's important
because the narrative that was taught in my household
was you got to work hard. You got to work hard.
The way to advance in life is to work hard. And
so that's the model that I applied, did all the
things, was the first and whatnot. And then I
got into corporate America and I was working
hard. I was taking on all the extra projects
at the time. FaceTime was a big thing, right?
So you get in before your boss, you leave after
them, leave your emotions at the door, all those
messages. And I even also took on all the dots.
And dots is a term coined by one of my former
managers. And dots are development opportunities
that suck. So basically, it was the projects
or the things that no one else needed to do,
no one else wanted to do, but needed to get done.
And of course, my hard work mindset, I'll take
on the dots, thinking that was going to somehow
elevate me or at least get me the recognition
for the next step. And it didn't. I learned then
at 23 or 24 that the reward for hard work is
more hard work. And so that's when I started
observing the people around me. I started asking
the question of, OK, wait a minute, what else
do I have to do to move ahead? And I started
to pay attention to some of my colleagues who
were. navigating seamlessly easy throughout the
organization. And I refer to, it's a few people,
but I refer to them as one, as Bob. So if anyone's
listening, your name is Bob, please don't take
offense to this. But I started observing Bob
and what I noticed that Bob was doing differently
than me was that he was having meetings with
our manager, the senior level manager. At the
time, I didn't even know that that term was called
a skip level meeting. He was getting invited
to projects and doing things that like, I was
just like, wait a minute, he get that. He's,
I used to say mediocre at best. It sounds a little
harsh now, but I observed and rather than sit
in my bitterness and resentment, I was just like,
okay, if Bob is able to get these. special projects
or he's navigating his career differently because
he's, one, having conversations with people who
are in positions of authority or influence. Two,
he's letting them know what it is that he wants
to do next. And then most importantly, he's finding
out what's important to them, what's on the horizon.
And he's positioning himself for those opportunities.
And so I started to apply what Bob was doing
in my corporate career where, yes, I had mentors,
I had coaches, but I was starting these conversations
more strategic where I'd go in with the senior
leader instead of asking, hey, tell me about
your career and how you got here. It was more,
oh, so you've been in this role for a while.
Where do you see yourself next? What are some
of the challenges? What are some of the things
that might hinder you from moving? towards that
and as I uncovered these things that's when I
started to one find people resources whatever
I could be of value to support that to build
that relationship and move forward and so that
was the long of the story but I took what I learned
in corporate because that that change really
catapulted my career until I got to the place
in corporate where I was just like ah I don't
want to do this anymore. This is not where I
see me fulfilling at the time, my purpose and
my great legacy. And I stepped out and started
my business. At the same time, we were just talking
in the green room. I left corporate America,
started the business, and then moved across the
country to California and San Diego, where I
knew. barely anyone. So as you can imagine, that
was not an easy experience, but I leveraged what
I had learned earlier in my career, which was
networking. And so I took to LinkedIn, I took
to local events, and that's how I was able to
build my business. It'll be seven years in July
as of the time of this recording through my network
in a brand new city, in a, not a brand new industry,
but definitely a new business. Great. And really,
you went to the school of hard knocks. I tell
everybody I went to the school of hard knocks.
I learned what not to do before I learned what
to do. And really, from what I hear, is that
you learned what to ask. You didn't just let
life happen. You have to just you have to go
for it. And I really found out at an early age
that it's not going to be given to you. You've
got to take it. And you've got to see the opportunities
because they're all around us. You have to see
the opportunities and you have to seize the opportunities.
So that's very good. Okay, so let's set the tone
a little bit. You talk about developing a connector
mindset. What does that mean in practice and
how can someone start building it today? Yeah,
great question. So mindset in general, right?
As a business owner, I've had to learn the hard
way because when I was in corporate, we didn't
talk about mindset. And before Carol Dweck with
her book, Mindset, that wasn't as much of a common
thing. I'm a firm believer that our mindset,
which are our thoughts, our beliefs, and the
emotions that we've attached to certain things
is 80 % of our success in any venture, right?
So whatever goal you have. 80 % of your ability
to be successful in achieving that thing is going
to be around what you think, what you believe
is possible for you moving towards that. And
then 20 % is execution. So when I think about
the Connectors Mindset and the way that I teach
it is really around most people, we talk networking
because this is our life, right? For most people,
networking is like a four letter word, right?
Like it is just the thing that no one wants to
do. It's bad. It's icky. It's all the things,
all the labels. Right. And so when people have
that mindset around something that is probably.
Outside of communication, I think the greatest
skill that you can have, it's really important
to help them break down, okay, what challenges
or roadblocks are you having towards that? So
when it comes to the connector mindset, it's
really an understanding of this is you building
a relationship with someone else. And there are
certain elements that I include in that. So with
the connector mindset, it's taken from Stephen
Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.
You make deposits before you make withdrawals.
So what does that mean? That means that if you're
looking to connect with someone, and I think
I heard you share on one of your earlier podcasts,
you have that framework of form, right? You can't
get to form. Unless you've actually asked some
questions. Unless you've actually taken the time,
invested the time to understand what's important
to this person. What do they have going on? Understanding
how you can help support them. So I'm really
big on, and Bob Berg is another, the go -giver,
right? So it's when you meet someone, identify
what's important to them. What do they have going
on? You looking at your resources and your capacity
and then giving to them. And when the time is
right, asking. So that's the first thing about
a connector's mindset. The second piece is really
you doing a value assessment. So not a values
assessment. We have our values, our core values,
but a value assessment. So you assessing yourself.
What are your skills? What are you good at? What
do you bring to the table? What is your knowledge?
What do you know? Who do you know? What experiences
have you had that could be of support to another
person? And then what are your opportunities?
And so your opportunities could be the places
where you have a gap. You're not so good at it,
right? Let's just say you and I met at a networking
event, right? And so you ask, oh, so tell me
about yourself. I'm an executive coach, a leadership
development consultant. I've been here in San
Diego for the last seven years. But quite honestly,
I'm at a point right now where I need to build
my community here locally. And so. having the
opportunity to network and navigate the business
community here would be really helpful for me.
So if you saw what I did with that value assessment,
like I talked about my skills, I talked about
the things that I was good at, but then I also
infused, this is where the opportunity is, right?
So now that's given that person the space or
an opportunity to use the word again, to say,
oh, really interesting, tell me more, or who
would be a good person for me to connect you
with? And so it's doing the work. It's almost
you have to do the work up front before you even
step into a networking room or a Zoom or any
virtual place. But you're getting clear on what
you're bringing to the table, what your opportunities
are. You're building the confidence. to be able
to articulate that to someone else. And then
you're also ready to give so that you don't have
that block of, what if they ask me for something?
Or what if they're expecting something of me?
You've done that pre -work so that it's a nice,
natural, casual exchange. You touched on so many
points that were so relevant to what networking
is. But one thing you said, because - You're
very confident in what you're doing. The mindset,
you've totally accomplished what you've set out.
Let's go back about 10 years in your corporate
environment and your mindset was completely different.
Very quickly, how did you shift that mindset
from that corporate world to where you are today?
Yeah, it's a really great question. So back,
if we go back 10 years, networking, if it was
a four letter word now, it was something else
before, right? It was just that you walk into
a room, you grab your drink, you grab your cheese
plate. And as soon as you go to put something
in your mouth, someone walks up to you like,
hey, what do you do? Or you're exchanging all
these business cards and then never did anything
with them. Luckily for me, I had the same senior
manager who gave me the DOTS acronym. She, when
we would go to networking events. And granted,
I was also in recruiting in the earlier part
of my career, which required me to be out and
about having conversations, meeting and greetings.
But I think my work forced me into that space.
But when I went to just casual networking events,
she used to give me the charge of you need to
collect at least three business cards. right
within that event. And then you need to follow
up with these people. And so that was something
that I started doing from a networking perspective.
And so that became the tactical side of it, right?
This is what I do. It wasn't until when probably.
So I didn't share this part. The last organization
that I had, they moved me around quite a bit.
So within a two year period, I went from living
in Connecticut most of my life to Houston to
Charlotte and then West Palm Beach. Right. And
so if we really track back 10 years ago, that
was the catalyst for me to change my mindset.
Because now I didn't have the community that
I had most of my life. And so knowing that you're
moving around every eight months, you have to
get into whatever city environment that you're
in, build relationships, understand who people
are, and be able to make the best of that knowing
that you're going to leave. And so for me, the
catalyst was actually all of the moves and the
external things that were happening where I realized,
okay, this is, I'm here for a while. I got to
build relationship really quickly, build rapport,
gain the trust of the people that I'm working
with, the people that I'm around in community,
and then move to the next place and do it all
over again. So I didn't understand, to answer
your question or finalize it, I didn't understand
that there was a mindset shift that happened.
I think I did it more so out of, necessity because
of the situation that I was in. Necessity is
the mother of invention, right? So you don't
really know you have to do until you have to
do it. It's like, you don't know what you don't
know. Very good. Okay. So what role has your
network played in your biggest career breakthroughs
or pivots? Yeah, that's another really great
question. So I'll go back to when I first moved
out here to San Diego. Like I said, I knew a
handful of people. And I had signed up with this.
It was like a challenge, some Facebook group
challenge of a conversation challenge. And at
that time moving here, I had a limited amount
of savings trying to get this business up. And
so literally I took to LinkedIn and this is this
was my strategy. I would not advise it. And LinkedIn
doesn't let you do it as much anymore anyways.
But literally I identified and scoped out. Everyone
who was like in HR related role, because that
was my background here in San Diego. And every
day I set a goal of reaching out to a hundred
people here in San Diego. And the, and it wasn't
about like gaining business. It's literally,
I'm here in the city. I don't know anyone, but
HR was a common ground. And so I would just send
out messages or invite, Hey, I'm new to San Diego.
Would love to connect with you. And I said, yeah,
I'm like starting a consultancy in a leadership
development firm. Right. And so. Every day, I
think for about six months, so just almost six
months, Monday through Friday, not took the weekends
off, but reached out to a hundred people. Then
when they would connect with me, I'd follow up
and say, hey, thank you so much for connecting
with me. If you ever want to do, back then we
did more in -person stuff. If you ever want to
meet for coffee or lunch, please let me know.
I can't remember what the statistics were, but
probably maybe 20 % of those thousands of people
that I reached out actually came back to me.
And maybe some of them we met up with, some of
them we just kept in touch. But I remember vividly
probably around the fifth month of doing this,
I got someone who like booked a discovery call.
And I got on the discovery call, not knowing
who this person was or where they were coming
from. And they were like, oh, such and such gave
me your contact information. She said the name
and the name didn't even register to me. I was
like, I have no idea who that is. I'll ask her
later. Long story short, Michael, that turned
out to be the biggest contract that I have had
in my entrepreneurial career to this day. And
I can tell you the person that she said gave
her my name. I reached out to this person. I
was like, by the way, like, how'd you get in
touch with me? Or how'd you know about me? She
was like, oh, I put feelers out with my network.
So it's almost like the person who ended up being
the recommendation was someone I had no contact
in. But the seeds that I had sown over that five,
six month period is what allowed enough people
to get to know me, see that I was genuine, throw
my hat in the ring that led to that success.
One thing that I try to teach all of my clients
is that you're not only talking to the people
that you're talking to, you're talking to their
network of people. And because I've gotten so
many referrals from two and three people removed
that I'm like, how did you get my name? And he'd
give me the name and it didn't ring a bell. So
I asked that person, oh, Joe, what's his face?
Give me your name. I'm like, oh, I know Joe,
but I didn't know you. But I want to thank you
for the referral and everything else. But it's
amazing that you can speak to a person like at
a Chamber of Commerce event, 45 people. But you're
talking to those 45 people's network and it goes
on from there. So, yeah, so the power of networking
is just an incredible thing. Incredible. You
emphasize ecosystems. How can somebody identify
and tap into theirs if they don't know where
to start? Yeah. So you actually set it up perfectly
with what you just said, right? That we're not
just engaging with a person, but we're engaging
with that person's networks, right? And so when
you think about ecosystems and you think about
networking, most people are going to think about
professional, right? Who are the people that
I work with now, the people I've worked with,
maybe past clients, right? But think about it
bigger, right? So there's our personal ecosystem.
That's the friends, the family, right? There's
the community ecosystem. So that's the city that
we live in, the town that we live in, like all
of the things, right? The people who take care
of our lawns, right? Like they're part of that
ecosystem. When you think about finances, right?
That's the, if you have a banker, like that's
your banker, that might be your mortgage loan
officer. That might be, yeah, I don't know, your
financial advisor, right? So there are these
ecosystems that we have educational, right? So
that might be the people that you are part of
your alumni. be past professors that you've worked
with, right? When you start to look at it from
an ecosystem in these categories, we can see
that our networks are so much larger than we
believe them to be. I think I was listening to
something not too long ago, and it said the statistic
where most people know about 600 people, like
maybe like people that you can actually name
that you've engaged with. So now take that 600.
and multiply that out to their 600. That is huge.
And when I talk about networking from the perspective
of looking at your ecosystems, most people don't
even think about, oh yeah, my realtor is part
of my network, right? My investment banker is
part of my network. Oh, the person who does my
taxes, that's part of my network. And so it's
really broadening out, not just from the people
that you deal with on a day -to -day basis or
maybe one or two times a year, but looking -
at the, I think it's five or six ecosystems overall
of individuals. And I think the most underused
ecosystem, and this is a tricky one because friends
and family aren't going to be your clients and
like, they're never going to be your clients.
But if you can get friends and family to understand
what it is that you do, like they are your best,
they can become your best supporters and marketers.
I have to stress that they have to know what
you do because I have family members. who are
close to me who still don't know what I do. So
there's that. They just have to understand and
understand who it is that you want to partner
with. And usually they're your biggest advocates
that can spread the word. Yeah, I have a lot
of family members that say, what do I do? Oh,
he talks to people. What do you mean he talks?
I go across the country. I go on different stages.
I go into big business. I do workshops. I do
a whole lot. I don't just talk to people. But
that's a whole nother ballgame. Okay. So many
people think networking is just about meeting
people. How do you move from connections to real
mutual support? Yeah, that's a really great question.
And networking is so much more than meeting people
because we meet people all the time, right? It
doesn't necessarily lead into anything. So I'm
really big on human interaction and human relationships,
but... systemized processes in the background.
So for me, like I mentioned, when I was Meet,
I was reaching out to 100 people on LinkedIn
every day, right? There was a spreadsheet that
was systemizing it. There were calendar invites
that were reminding me to follow up with people.
There were things that were happening in the
background then. over time, all these cool tools
that have come up have really shifted that. So
for me, and this is, and I'm speaking from the
perspective here of my, what I consider my personal
network, right? So not my broad network. I have
14 ,000 people on LinkedIn, right? I don't know
all of them, but there is a circle. There is
a core group of about 100 people that I am intentional
about keeping in touch with. Now, at this stage
in my life and business, I can't remember all
these other people, all these people all the
time. So I keep I use a tool like Streak. And
I don't know if you've ever heard of Streak.
S -T -R -E -A -K. So it's a Google. Is it a CRM?
Yeah, you can use it at that. Yeah, it's a Google.
Chrome plugin. And what I love about Streak is
that I can go in and say, all right, on May 15th,
I spoke with Michael. This is what we talked
about. Let's set a follow -up for three months
from now. Three months from now, there's a calendar
invite. It creates a calendar invite. And I get
an email the day before that says, hey, Sabine,
you need to reach out to Michael. And I could
put notes in there, right? So I use Streak for
my personal network, the people who have built
relationships with us as past clients. These
are prospects or leads. These are individuals
and organizations that I hold dear to my circle.
Now, the CRM, the official CRM, which I use for
active campaign, that's what I keep for like
leads. prospects and businesses so I separate
the two out because I think there's the value
of that larger network and keeping in touch with
them in like more automated spaces but the people
who are actually the ones that you're giving
referrals they're going to give referrals you
need to add that human touch or that extra touch
so that's what I use that system for I think
that Very good. No, it did. It answered it perfectly.
Let's talk about career circles. What are they
and how can someone build and revive theirs right
now? Yeah, great question. So I'm going to respond
to this in the sense of most of the people that
you're dealing with are entrepreneurs. I have
a career circle for people who are in corporate
trying to build their board of advisors, but
I got this from the notion. I think her name
is Jane. I can't remember her, her last name
right now. It's from the book, the super connectors.
And so I read this book years ago and she gave
the concept of your five. you're 50 and you're
100, right? So these are like the circles of
people that you maintain contact with. And so
your top five are usually like the people who
are like closest to you, right? So it could be
the husband, the wife, the kids, a mother, whatever
the case may be. The top five people, I like
to say, these are the people that you're not
afraid to ugly cry in front of, right? This is
your support circle. And it could be best friend,
whatever it is, but these are the top five people.
And you're likely... keeping in contact with
these people at least every day, if not every
day, at least once a week, right? So that's your
core circle. Then your 50, then your next level
is your top 50. These are individuals that are
a lot broader, right? And these are considered
the people that are part of your circle of influence.
And these can include clients, past employers.
They can include people you've done business
with. If you're part of a chamber, people within
the chamber. These are individuals that you're
touching base with at least once a month or maybe
every other month. but that there's a continuum
connection where you are touching base with these
people. And then the larger group is the top
100. this is like your most fluid, right? Because
people are going to come in and out depending
on what happens in life. So there are people
that for a few years, you're really close with,
you're keeping in touch. They're part of the
chamber. You see them every month and then something
happens and you don't see them for a while. So
this top, this next level of 100, these are the
people that they're the farthest removed from
your day -to -day. So maybe you're touching base
with them on a quarterly basis. Maybe it's even
more than that every six months, but these are
people that somehow they came into your circle.
Maybe you met them at a networking event. Maybe
they were a referral at some point that didn't
materialize, but you want to keep them in your
orbit. And so when you think about these success
circles or these career circles, it's really
helping you maintain who are the people that
I want to touch base with. As we talked about,
if we really know 600 people, none of, I don't
know about you, but I don't have the capacity
to keep in touch with 600 people. But when you
can narrow it down to these. or 150, this allows
you to create a schedule, whether you're putting
it in streak or your CRM or whatever the case
may be, to have that, those touch bases of what's
happening with them. And then as people leave,
of course, you'll meet new people. So that's
where that comes from. I will tell you in all
honesty. I really tried the 150 people of keeping
in touch and keeping track. For me personally,
that was a lot, as you can imagine. So for me
right now, it's, I just focused in on my core
50 and then, I'm sorry, my core five and then
my next level 50. And for me, that... That feels
authentic. That feels genuine. I do. I love connecting
people when I'm like, hey, what is it that you
need? How can I help support you? I don't want
to have to ask 150 people that and then not follow
through on being able to support them. It's it's
so very important. And 50 seems to be a very
manageable number. So you really don't want to
go more than that. And if you go less than that,
you're not really living up to your potential.
So 50 is a very good number. And as long as you
can stay up on it, it's good because I always,
I educate as many people as I can. The follow
-up with people is more important than actually
meeting the person. So you have to always keep,
and what I do, I have a secret sauce for follow
-up. But after all that is done, you want to
stay in front of them, but you don't want to
be annoying. So you put them like into a newsletter
or something else like that. So you always keep
your name in front of them. So it's always good.
But the follow up is so very important. OK, can
you share an example of when a when your success
circle helped you overcome a major challenge
or seize an opportunity? Yeah. So literally just
last year, I not to go into the details, but
I had this brand that I had built for quite some
time and I was actually in the process of relaunching
it. And I. Without knowing it, I got served a
cease and desist for the portion of the brand
name by someone who had the trademark, even though
they weren't operating in my particular space,
but their trademark covered the executive coaching
training space. And so they exercised their right
to serve the cease and desist. And so, as you
can imagine, that was gut -wrenchingly painful
to have to experience as a business owner. And
not only just as a business owner, but like this
was something that I had been dreaming up since
2017. So I was still in corporate as I was like
dreaming up what like my business was going to
be. So there was a lot of emotional attachment
to the name and to the vision that I had put
towards it. Nonetheless, it was what it was.
But honestly, looking back, it was probably the
best thing that happened to me because again,
when you're genuine, when you give before you
ask, when you truly have the heart to support
people, when it comes time for you to need that,
people are going to turn around and do the same
thing for you. And so I had a colleague, and
this was someone that I had brought on as a consultant
or subcontractor when I had another opportunity.
And in conversation, I was just explaining to
her, this is what I have going on. These are
my backup plans. And at the time she had an opportunity
for a subcontractor to come on. And so not only
did I, was I able to go in and subcontract and
generate revenue from that particular project,
but the project that I worked on actually was,
it was part of a program that I had developed,
but it was developed, right? because I was subcontracting
that I had the time and space to really further
develop it. And so not only did I gain by working
with them, but now this program is this more,
so much more robust program that I'm, I've been
taking to the market and organizations have been,
have been saying yes, and I've been able to implement
it. So it's like the thing that was the catastrophe,
my network came through for me. And not only
did they come. through for me in the short term,
but it's also resulted in earnings well past
that particular project. Yeah, you would be surprised
at where success finds you. And you get your
success from your failures or things that stop
you. Because if you, I'm sure you have the same
mindset that I do. They say, no, you can't do
that. What do you mean I can't do that? I'm going
to do it. I may go around you. I may do it a
different way, but I'm going to do it. And that's
the mindset that you have, and that's why you're
successful today. Okay, so in your experience,
what are the most common mistakes people make
when trying to network? build influence. Let's
do the trying to network because I've had a couple
of those lately, right? Especially on LinkedIn.
And I'm sure you experienced this, right? So
it's the, hey, let's connect or I noticed your
thing. Let's connect. And no sooner do you hit
the accept button, here they are. I'm a financial
advisor and I can help you with this. Or I'm
dry and I can help you with this. And it's just,
you know nothing about me. You cannot help me
with anything. Or better yet, I had this example,
this perfect learning lesson. So last year I
did a talk and I did it on networking for this
organization. And one of the people who was there,
she connected with me. We had an exchange back
on LinkedIn. And I left it like, obviously, I
just taught this, right? If you ever need anything,
reach out to me. So it was probably almost a
year because she just reached out about last
month. So maybe we'll say 10 months since I've
heard from her, since we've talked, since we've
connected, engaged in any capacity. And I get
this message on LinkedIn and it's just, hey,
I'm looking to connect with marketing people.
And I figured why not come to the queen of networking
for some help? And that was it, Michael. Like,
it was just like, oh, okay. Like, luckily we
had the like chain of communication where I could
go back and be like, wait, who is this? What
is it? How did she find me? And so that is a
misstep, right? So two things, you don't wait
till you need something to connect with someone.
That's first and foremost, right? You build the
relationship over time. And as whether it's a
platonic relationship, a male, female, whatever
the relationship is, it requires an investment
of time, right? So that's first step. Second,
I'm looking to connect with people in marketing.
There are 9 billion people on this planet, right?
That could be anyone. Be specific. Be specific
about what it is that you're looking for and
how that person can actually help you. Second
or third, it would have been helpful if she would
have said, hey, I've noticed that you're connected
to these people or I've noticed that you have
connections to these companies, right? Is there
anyone in there that you can help connect me
with? And so it's just, it's the, you wouldn't
walk into a networking event. I think that's
where the challenge is when it comes to online
networking, right? Like you, I wouldn't walk
into your chamber and be like, oh yeah, Mike,
connect me to all the people in HR. You'd look
at me with that awkward look on your face. What?
But I feel like that. understanding that awareness
goes out the door when we're doing it on a social
platform like LinkedIn. So again, one, make sure
that you're staying in connection with that person.
Two, help them help you. Who is it that you're
looking for? How will that help benefit? And
then third, again, going back to the give before
you ask, you should have started with a, hey,
how are things going with you? What's new? What
can I support you? So I think it's just the decorum
of, Dealing with a human being and not having
that mindset of networking is all about an exchange
for something versus that networking is actually
about collaborating with people so that you can
get what you need. They can get what they need
versus I'm going to take or I'm going to only
be the giver in a situation. Yep. You should
always. I have thousands of connections also
on LinkedIn. One thing that I've always noticed
is that the people that are truly interested
in a relationship, not just the client aspect
of it, but a true relationship, they start out
like we're standing next to one another. Hey,
Michael, how you doing? What's going on? You
know, they start out the whole paragraph before
they ask. So if you treat it as if you're talking
to them or talking to the person, you'll go so
much further. Okay, you've built. strong networks.
What are one to two daily or weekly habits that
keep your relationships thriving? Yeah, I love
that question. So something that I have been
doing, so I've, I had a podcast or I have a podcast.
It's just on break and I've been on a lot of
podcasts. And obviously I talk to people and
you're going to get this question after the fact
too. But like when I get off of a podcast, I'll
always ask the host, like, what do you need?
How can I support you? Are you looking for guests?
What kind of guests are you looking for? What
topics? And so I have a whole spreadsheet that
I have been tracking of podcasts that I've been
on, the links, what we talked about. And so as
I'm meeting people and it doesn't have to be
other like. podcasters, but as I'm meeting people
out and about at events, maybe on podcasts or
whatever, and I ask them, what are you looking
for? And especially with entrepreneurs, like
it's always around marketing and business development
and whatnot. And if I hear that they have a podcasting
strategy or podcasting is part of their marketing
strategy, I'll say, oh, okay, what are the topics?
I go in, I look at my list of podcast relationships
that I've built and I'll say, hey, OK, I'm going
to introduce you to this person. And so for me,
that's one of the things that I do that biweekly.
That's biweekly. The second piece is I do a lot
of virtual coffee. So I go to events and I'm
always like, OK, let's connect on LinkedIn. My
strategy is usually if I meet someone in person,
I connect with them on LinkedIn immediately.
During that time, I say, hey, let's set up a
virtual coffee or in -person coffee if they're
here. During that conversation, it's really just
to get to know them, understand what they have
going on, who it is, what it is that they need.
At the end of the conversation, I always ask
the question, what can I do to support you? And
if they're like, oh, I'm looking for this, whatever
it is. Okay, cool. I think I might have someone
that I can connect you with. I literally set
a goal, Michael. I started it this year. I've
never set it as a goal before, but this year
I started setting it as goal. Every week, I have
to connect at least two people with each other.
So like, literally, it gives me so much joy to
be like, hey, let me do this warm introduction
to someone. And now that I've actually set it
as a goal, every week, there's at least two or
three connections that I'm making. Again, that
is nothing in return. That is me. It goes off
of that Ziegler quote, where he is just, you'll
get what you want if you can help more and more
people get what they want. I'm butchering that.
That's right. I'm a big Zig Ziglar fan. But I
too, I do that. I have not set that as a goal,
but I average two to three times a week where
I take two people and I put them together. I
refer each other and I step away. I just did
it this morning and they both thanked me so much
and everything, but that's not the point where
I am in my circle. I am known as I get two people
together, you know, and I love doing just like
you. I love doing that. I love doing it. It gives
me such a good feeling that I can help because
I know it's going to come around. I know it's
going to come back around, but that doesn't take
away from the feeling that I helped two people.
Yeah, I really enjoyed that. It is an amazing
feeling. So I label people like that as super
connectors. And I feel like everyone should have
a super connector in your life. And I'm usually
the super connector. So it's, I don't have a
super connector, but I'm going to find one, but
I'm usually that person. And what I explain to
people is when you have a super connector in
your life, you have to understand that you're
not bothering them. Like they actually like generate
joy. off of connecting people. And so that's
not something to abuse, of course. Certainly
you don't want to abuse that, but just understand
the gem that you have when you have someone who
actually generally enjoys it. Okay, good, good.
Let's elevate the conversation just a little
bit. How do you approach networking differently
when it's about long -term success versus immediate
gain? Yeah, that's a really great question. And
I'll just, if you don't mind, I'll use a personal
experience. So here in San Diego in particular,
being like, I feel like I'm still the new kid
on the block, even though I've been out here
almost six years, I have realized that the culture
here. there's people do you've said this right
and you've heard this people do business with
people they know and trust right and when you're
new to a city or when you're new to an environment
and when you're new to i think southern california
and its culture it's very much stranger danger
type where people are nice don't get me wrong
people are very nice But building that trust,
that trust takes a very long time. And so that
first year that I was here, which is why I navigated
using LinkedIn first and then building the relationship
in person. And even to this day, I walk into
some organizations that like I've been part of,
or I've done things with them and people are
still like, I'm sorry, what's your name? And
I'm like, yeah. Every one of these meetings.
And not to mention that I'm the only woman of
color in here. You realize that it is what it
is. And so for me. That giving before you ask,
that sowing those seeds, that being a value of
people, I have learned that my environment, this
is what the environment requires because this
is the business culture here. And there are organizations
here. There's one organization in particular,
it's similar to Vistage, if you're familiar with
Vistage. Yeah, it's very similar. And so just
like Vistage, you can go in, you can do presentations,
you can do workshops, and you can do talks. they
ask me, like my answer is always yes, right?
Because this is an organization where their members
are individuals that I want to build relationships
with, because I know the long term, it's a long
term play. And I also understand what the reward
is for that. And so I've gone in, I've done multiple
talks for multiple of their groups, I've presented,
I've done all those things, because I understand
that this is not about a, I did this, so you
give me that this is more of a Long -term, if
I'm going to be successful in business here locally,
and this is where the local business people are,
this is where I want to invest my time, my energy,
give value, because I know, we know, like those
seeds come back at some point. That's great.
And that was a perfect answer. It really was.
I thought I would get you a little bit with the
question, but you answered it perfectly. Let's
bring this podcast full circle. And if someone...
listening is feeling stuck, isolated, or like
they have no valued network, what's the very
first step you recommend they take? Yeah, I'm
going to ask you to do that value assessment.
That's going to be the first thing, right? Because
that is a mindset and that is a perception that
person may have, right? So you get down to what
are your skills, right? What are you known for?
Where do you have expertise? And what are your
strengths? And I forgot to say this before, but
when it comes to the strengths, oftentimes what
we think are our strengths really aren't our
strengths. And I say that because we can walk
into a room and walk up to someone and spark
up a conversation and be okay with it. Not everyone
can do that, right? So we may have not seen our
ability to network as a strength or better yet,
our ability to connect people and connect the
dots for people as a particular strength. And
so when it comes to our strengths, if people
are sitting around, oh, I don't really have any
strengths or I don't have valuable strengths,
ask the people around you. Ask the people who
know you best. One, especially family, they're
going to tell you the truth. And two, if you
have colleagues, just ask them, like, what is
it that you've noticed that I do really well?
Because sometimes we'll be surprised at what
people take notice of as a core strength of ours
that we take for granted because it's just what
we do. So getting clear on what your strengths
are and then being completely honest with yourself
about where your opportunities are. The opportunities
are important because that adds that level of
humility when you can say to someone, hey, I'm
really good at this. I'm really good at that.
This is what I'm looking to do. But I really
have, I'm really struggling here. People genuinely
naturally want to help other people, right? I
truly believe that my heart of hearts, maybe
I'm naive, but I believe that people really want
to help others. And so when you can humble yourself
and say, this is a shortcoming, whatever term
you want to use, and this is where I could really
use your help because I've seen you do this well,
or I admire this about you, people are going
to jump on board and they're going to want to
help you. So first and foremost, to answer the
question, right, start with challenging the mindset
that you don't have anything to bring to the
table. And you can do that by building up your
confidence and doing that value assessment. And
then when you're asking others what your strengths
are and you're hearing other people tell you
what they admire about you, what they think you
really do well, that's an immediate confidence
boost right there. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. Sabine,
I can go on talking to you for another two hours.
You are very easy to talk to, and you really
come with such a great amount of knowledge, whether
it's from your corporate background or you're
learning every day. And I see that you learn
from every customer. You're learning from whether
it's lessons or books or whatever, but you're
doing a fabulous job. Sabine. If somebody wanted
to get hold of you, either to be coached or just
to say hello, how can they reach you? Thank you
for asking that. So LinkedIn is where I hang
out. You can find me on LinkedIn. My handle is
my name, Sabine Gideon, or you could reach out
to me via my website at sabinegideon .com. It's
beautiful. Sabine, I will speak with you soon.
Thank you, Michael. Well, hold on, folks. Don't
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-E -V -V -E -D -U -P -K -I -D -S dot org. Well,
that's a wrap, folks. A huge thank you to our
special guests for sharing such incredible insights
today. And of course, a big shout out to you,
our amazing listeners, for tuning in and spending
your time with us. Remember, networking isn't
about being perfect. It's about being present.
So take what you've learned today, get out there
and make some meaningful connections. If you
enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe,
leave us a review, and share it with someone
who could use a little networking inspiration.
Let's keep the conversation going. You can find
me on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or my website,
Michael. Remember, until next time, keep practicing,
keep connecting, and keep building those relationships.
This is Michael signing off. Take care and happy
networking.