WEBVTT 00:00:16.969 --> 00:00:19.629 Welcome back to Networking Unleashed, Building 00:00:19.629 --> 00:00:22.789 Profitable Connections. I'm your host, Michael 00:00:22.789 --> 00:00:29.530 Foreman, speaker, strategist, and believer that 00:00:29.530 --> 00:00:32.250 meaningful relationships drive real results. 00:00:32.770 --> 00:00:35.890 Today's conversation is going to challenge you 00:00:35.890 --> 00:00:40.109 to think about connection, because while most 00:00:40.109 --> 00:00:42.850 people play it safe when it comes to networking, 00:00:43.170 --> 00:00:47.350 real growth, real community, starts with a little 00:00:47.350 --> 00:00:50.409 risk. Didn't read that, but that's right. My 00:00:50.409 --> 00:00:53.049 guest today is someone who understands that connection, 00:00:53.229 --> 00:00:57.130 doesn't thrive in comfort zones. We're diving 00:00:57.130 --> 00:01:01.310 into why risk is essential. I'm sorry. We're 00:01:01.310 --> 00:01:04.609 diving into why risk is an essential ingredient 00:01:04.609 --> 00:01:08.530 in community building. I don't know what's going 00:01:08.530 --> 00:01:12.250 on with my talking today and how too often overlooked 00:01:12.250 --> 00:01:16.750 strengths. Vulnerability and curiosity can transform 00:01:16.750 --> 00:01:20.829 not only how we network, but how we lead, collaborate, 00:01:21.090 --> 00:01:27.030 and grow. If you ever hesitated to reach out, 00:01:27.150 --> 00:01:30.870 share your story, or start that bold conversation, 00:01:31.290 --> 00:01:34.629 this episode is going to speak directly to you. 00:01:34.730 --> 00:01:37.829 So let's get into it. I'd like to introduce today 00:01:37.829 --> 00:01:42.209 David Holman. He's got quite a background, and 00:01:42.209 --> 00:01:45.170 I swear I'll just butcher it if I try it, because 00:01:45.170 --> 00:01:48.930 today my tongue is absolutely in knots. But David, 00:01:49.090 --> 00:01:52.150 hello, welcome to the podcast, and give us a 00:01:52.150 --> 00:01:54.750 little bit about your background. Sure, and thank 00:01:54.750 --> 00:01:56.769 you, Michael, for having me. I love your work, 00:01:56.769 --> 00:01:59.109 and I'm so pleased to be able to share whatever 00:01:59.109 --> 00:02:01.549 insights I might have from a way that I have 00:02:01.549 --> 00:02:03.709 from my world, which I call orchestrated connecting. 00:02:05.000 --> 00:02:07.480 So I'll give you a brief background. So I am 00:02:07.480 --> 00:02:09.800 an anomaly in the business world because I am 00:02:09.800 --> 00:02:13.120 a working classical composer. The last time somebody 00:02:13.120 --> 00:02:15.520 held a job and actually had success in music 00:02:15.520 --> 00:02:18.680 was Aaron Copland. Everyone else teaches. But 00:02:18.680 --> 00:02:21.560 I realized as I was running a large scale nonprofit 00:02:21.560 --> 00:02:25.639 that my entire world was about finding the resonance 00:02:25.639 --> 00:02:29.000 with people and the skill sets that come from 00:02:29.000 --> 00:02:32.699 the performing arts that come from understanding 00:02:32.699 --> 00:02:35.340 how to read people, how to have. conversations, 00:02:35.659 --> 00:02:38.479 how you were present. All of that self -work 00:02:38.479 --> 00:02:41.560 helped me understand how I eventually became 00:02:41.560 --> 00:02:45.840 a nonprofit CEO in my mid -20s and then transitioned 00:02:45.840 --> 00:02:49.219 from that into running a film company for a large 00:02:49.219 --> 00:02:52.120 -scale family office. But at every point, there 00:02:52.120 --> 00:02:54.719 was one thing that brought me forward in my career, 00:02:54.860 --> 00:02:58.879 and that was my purposeful community. Some people 00:02:58.879 --> 00:03:00.780 would describe it as a network, but for me, the 00:03:00.780 --> 00:03:04.090 network is around you. to do a round of what 00:03:04.090 --> 00:03:05.870 you're doing. The community is there to lift 00:03:05.870 --> 00:03:09.930 you up. And I can look at every single point 00:03:09.930 --> 00:03:13.409 in my life and in my career where I met the right 00:03:13.409 --> 00:03:17.370 donor, got the right client, got into the right 00:03:17.370 --> 00:03:20.490 room, all based on the power of the introduction. 00:03:22.330 --> 00:03:26.889 That's incredible. I think you can do that pinpointing 00:03:26.889 --> 00:03:29.710 as you eloquently put it. because you're actually 00:03:29.710 --> 00:03:34.689 looking for it. Most people network today, they 00:03:34.689 --> 00:03:36.889 don't even know they're networking. They're finding 00:03:36.889 --> 00:03:40.009 those connections, those networking between two 00:03:40.009 --> 00:03:42.789 people, and they don't understand that it's truly 00:03:42.789 --> 00:03:45.889 networking that's getting them even further. 00:03:46.370 --> 00:03:50.110 But I'll leave that for now. Let me just go into 00:03:50.110 --> 00:03:52.710 a few of the questions that I have for you, and 00:03:52.710 --> 00:03:54.889 I hope they are in line with what you wanted 00:03:54.889 --> 00:03:58.759 to talk about. You talk about risk. as a key 00:03:58.759 --> 00:04:02.080 ingredient in building community. Can you unpack 00:04:02.080 --> 00:04:06.460 that? And what kind of risk are we really talking 00:04:06.460 --> 00:04:11.080 about when we're trying to connect? So I love 00:04:11.080 --> 00:04:13.719 starting with this question because what we don't 00:04:13.719 --> 00:04:15.620 think about when we don't even think, as you 00:04:15.620 --> 00:04:19.000 just said, whether we're networking or not, we 00:04:19.000 --> 00:04:21.639 don't think about the one thing we cannot buy, 00:04:21.860 --> 00:04:27.189 which is our reputation. People have tried. And 00:04:27.189 --> 00:04:31.050 then they have basically been dethroned, so to 00:04:31.050 --> 00:04:34.870 speak. But everyone who has a positive reputation 00:04:34.870 --> 00:04:39.769 has it based on positive action. So in communities 00:04:39.769 --> 00:04:41.810 and networks, whoever you look at your personal 00:04:41.810 --> 00:04:44.110 network, your business network, your alumni network, 00:04:44.310 --> 00:04:47.689 any variation from your PTA, there's a thousand 00:04:47.689 --> 00:04:50.509 worlds in which your community can be purposeful, 00:04:50.509 --> 00:04:55.019 Michael. In everyone, we rarely, if ever. talk 00:04:55.019 --> 00:04:57.879 about the consequences of taking bad actions 00:04:57.879 --> 00:05:01.180 or taking no action. But if you were to view 00:05:01.180 --> 00:05:03.560 everything as relationships with the summation 00:05:03.560 --> 00:05:06.199 of how you've spent your time and what you've 00:05:06.199 --> 00:05:10.180 spent your money towards and into, that if somebody 00:05:10.180 --> 00:05:13.959 is wasting your time, shouldn't their reputation 00:05:13.959 --> 00:05:17.699 not be as strong as somebody who is elevating 00:05:17.699 --> 00:05:21.060 or adding to it? And so in the network that I 00:05:21.060 --> 00:05:23.930 run, in the way that I live my life, If you introduce 00:05:23.930 --> 00:05:26.170 me to people who are not positive people that 00:05:26.170 --> 00:05:28.529 I can help or they can help people that I know, 00:05:28.629 --> 00:05:31.689 at some point, sometimes me, then you are wasting 00:05:31.689 --> 00:05:35.350 my time. And if I am clear on the type of people 00:05:35.350 --> 00:05:38.129 I want to meet, such as yourself, and the way 00:05:38.129 --> 00:05:39.889 that I want to support those people in my network, 00:05:40.129 --> 00:05:43.870 why should it not be that standard is a double 00:05:43.870 --> 00:05:47.069 standard that you should be rewarded and have 00:05:47.069 --> 00:05:50.649 your reputation increase for having a positive 00:05:50.649 --> 00:05:55.579 benefit? And if the opposite is true, shouldn't 00:05:55.579 --> 00:06:00.240 there be a risk associated with that? Of course 00:06:00.240 --> 00:06:04.259 there should be. And I go into networking with 00:06:04.259 --> 00:06:07.199 what's called a servant's heart. I always look 00:06:07.199 --> 00:06:12.399 to give rather than receive. And as many people 00:06:12.399 --> 00:06:14.959 would say, and Zig Ziglar, one of them, when 00:06:14.959 --> 00:06:19.410 you do that, you're going in with a better. alternative 00:06:19.410 --> 00:06:22.970 of living. You go with giving instead of receiving 00:06:22.970 --> 00:06:26.629 so that if you constantly give, if I put two 00:06:26.629 --> 00:06:30.209 people together, then one or both of those people 00:06:30.209 --> 00:06:33.810 should say, Michael did this for me. So let me 00:06:33.810 --> 00:06:37.329 try to introduce him to somebody else. And you 00:06:37.329 --> 00:06:40.209 do that enough and it will go around. What goes 00:06:40.209 --> 00:06:42.730 around does come around. So it's very important 00:06:42.730 --> 00:06:48.290 what you say. Thank you. a moment in your own 00:06:48.290 --> 00:06:52.209 journey where taking a networking risk, starting 00:06:52.209 --> 00:06:55.790 a conversation, asking for help, showing up, 00:06:55.889 --> 00:07:00.930 changed everything? I have a few of these, but 00:07:00.930 --> 00:07:03.990 I want to demonstrate with this answer what happened 00:07:03.990 --> 00:07:07.610 because I built enough of a community to actually 00:07:07.610 --> 00:07:09.930 support me through a very dark and hard time. 00:07:10.810 --> 00:07:14.110 So there was this time, we all remember it, it 00:07:14.110 --> 00:07:17.009 was called COVID. It technically still exists, 00:07:17.170 --> 00:07:20.029 we just pretend it doesn't. And I was living 00:07:20.029 --> 00:07:23.490 with my now ex -in -laws out of New York City. 00:07:24.310 --> 00:07:27.949 My kids were young, and through no fault of my 00:07:27.949 --> 00:07:30.250 own, I had actually just gotten an incredible 00:07:30.250 --> 00:07:34.329 new opportunity with my current employer. Circumstances 00:07:34.329 --> 00:07:37.009 changed, and I had to figure everything else 00:07:37.009 --> 00:07:40.170 out about my life in the span of six months. 00:07:41.490 --> 00:07:47.079 So I went to my community. And I said, I'm not 00:07:47.079 --> 00:07:49.579 sure what I can do. I can't go back and run an 00:07:49.579 --> 00:07:51.860 arts organization. There's no performing arts. 00:07:51.920 --> 00:07:55.160 It's COVID. I can't move back to New York. My 00:07:55.160 --> 00:07:57.800 younger kid has always had breathing issues. 00:07:57.839 --> 00:08:00.240 I don't know what will happen if he gets this 00:08:00.240 --> 00:08:05.019 disease. And would anyone that knows, trusts, 00:08:05.139 --> 00:08:08.339 or loves me show up and for 20 minutes tell me 00:08:08.339 --> 00:08:13.879 what you think I can do? 142 people booked the 00:08:13.879 --> 00:08:17.540 call. And I might think what I've built now in 00:08:17.540 --> 00:08:22.019 my world of startup and book and global event 00:08:22.019 --> 00:08:25.720 series and purposeful community of 2000, I was 00:08:25.720 --> 00:08:28.540 good at it. I wasn't then. I stumbled into it. 00:08:28.779 --> 00:08:32.639 I needed to hone it. And I was not so dense that 00:08:32.639 --> 00:08:34.860 after maybe like the hundredth time that somebody 00:08:34.860 --> 00:08:36.240 told me what they thought I did well, that they 00:08:36.240 --> 00:08:38.059 thought I was already doing, I got it that I've 00:08:38.059 --> 00:08:40.960 been doing. what I was eventually supposed to 00:08:40.960 --> 00:08:45.919 do, but I had been completely afraid of it until 00:08:45.919 --> 00:08:49.299 people took their time to tell me why they valued 00:08:49.299 --> 00:08:53.080 me. And that gave me enough fuel for the last 00:08:53.080 --> 00:08:56.039 five years now to build a much more impactful 00:08:56.039 --> 00:09:01.259 business and community from it. So that fuel 00:09:01.259 --> 00:09:04.879 that you're speaking of is maybe confidence. 00:09:05.720 --> 00:09:10.179 confidence in yourself so that you now see what 00:09:10.179 --> 00:09:13.879 everybody else generally sees or saw in you. 00:09:14.120 --> 00:09:17.460 And you are now, you've built that confidence 00:09:17.460 --> 00:09:20.679 to such a point where you're comfortable doing 00:09:20.679 --> 00:09:23.080 what you're doing today. And that's creating 00:09:23.080 --> 00:09:27.179 your community and actually not only creating 00:09:27.179 --> 00:09:30.299 it because you've created it, but you're watching 00:09:30.299 --> 00:09:34.080 it expand, and you're enjoying it. And that all 00:09:34.080 --> 00:09:37.340 started from the confidence level. That's all. 00:09:38.299 --> 00:09:41.980 Absolutely. Why do you believe vulnerability 00:09:41.980 --> 00:09:45.340 is such a core strength in today's networking 00:09:45.340 --> 00:09:49.399 culture? And how can leaders model it authentically? 00:09:51.240 --> 00:09:55.580 So you know how anyone who's a parent will tell 00:09:55.580 --> 00:09:57.779 you when they say to their kids, do what I say 00:09:57.779 --> 00:10:00.600 you're supposed to do? Everyone laughs as you're 00:10:00.600 --> 00:10:03.139 laughing now because no kid ever listens when 00:10:03.139 --> 00:10:05.460 you say you're supposed to do something. How 00:10:05.460 --> 00:10:09.320 are you supposed to model empathy in leadership? 00:10:10.220 --> 00:10:13.320 Curiosity. How are you supposed to get past the 00:10:13.320 --> 00:10:17.139 water cooler conversation without embracing vulnerability 00:10:17.139 --> 00:10:21.960 as a key part of our lives? This is the question 00:10:21.960 --> 00:10:24.919 I ask myself repeatedly. And even though I might 00:10:24.919 --> 00:10:26.500 have needed the confidence to build my business. 00:10:26.970 --> 00:10:30.590 bigger than it was at the time, I didn't need 00:10:30.590 --> 00:10:33.870 any confidence to be vulnerable and to see what 00:10:33.870 --> 00:10:36.370 came of it because I saw its strategic effect 00:10:36.370 --> 00:10:40.090 and the personal growth I experienced from it. 00:10:40.909 --> 00:10:42.990 When you meet somebody at whatever level they 00:10:42.990 --> 00:10:45.230 are and you're willing to share something, not 00:10:45.230 --> 00:10:47.990 verbal diarrhea or every single problem you have, 00:10:48.190 --> 00:10:50.350 but you're willing to share something that you 00:10:50.350 --> 00:10:52.330 think instinctually is relevant and they open 00:10:52.330 --> 00:10:56.110 up. You build relationship trust. And once you 00:10:56.110 --> 00:10:59.690 have trust, you have the exact opposite of that 00:10:59.690 --> 00:11:03.269 parent trying to tell the kid, do what I say. 00:11:03.669 --> 00:11:06.029 Because when I parent my kids and they trust 00:11:06.029 --> 00:11:09.590 me on certain things, they just do it. But they 00:11:09.590 --> 00:11:11.970 know that I've explained to them why we do it. 00:11:12.029 --> 00:11:14.950 I will explain more after. And that it needs 00:11:14.950 --> 00:11:18.350 to be done so we can collectively achieve something. 00:11:18.750 --> 00:11:20.870 That for me, whether it's in a parent situation 00:11:20.870 --> 00:11:24.220 or a management or... business growth situation 00:11:24.220 --> 00:11:27.860 is the key. And it's embracing that vulnerability 00:11:27.860 --> 00:11:30.860 that gets us closer to the people that we want 00:11:30.860 --> 00:11:34.100 to stay relational with, even when transaction 00:11:34.100 --> 00:11:39.779 occurs. That is so true. You touched on so many 00:11:39.779 --> 00:11:44.220 points that is so crucial, besides to living, 00:11:44.299 --> 00:11:47.659 besides networking, it's to everyday life. But 00:11:47.659 --> 00:11:52.120 what you... really said was that trust me, that 00:11:52.120 --> 00:11:57.700 trust factor is so crucial that you can't do 00:11:57.700 --> 00:12:01.340 anything else unless you have that trust factor. 00:12:01.500 --> 00:12:04.179 And it's so true, especially with networking. 00:12:04.480 --> 00:12:06.240 That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm 00:12:06.240 --> 00:12:10.379 all about. But it's so crucial, I think, in every 00:12:10.379 --> 00:12:15.509 business, every walk of life. Okay. Curiosity 00:12:15.509 --> 00:12:18.929 is often overlooked in networking. You just spoke 00:12:18.929 --> 00:12:22.269 about the curiosity. How does it deepen connection 00:12:22.269 --> 00:12:28.330 and create stronger communities? Think about 00:12:28.330 --> 00:12:31.970 the last time you went to an event, maybe before 00:12:31.970 --> 00:12:34.090 you spoke, because I have a feeling from the 00:12:34.090 --> 00:12:36.190 incredible keynotes that you give that once you 00:12:36.190 --> 00:12:39.129 speak, people don't make this mistake. But think 00:12:39.129 --> 00:12:40.889 about somebody who's sitting there with you, 00:12:40.950 --> 00:12:43.659 maybe two hours before you go on. And they start 00:12:43.659 --> 00:12:46.559 talking about themselves. And they talk and they 00:12:46.559 --> 00:12:49.019 talk. And you, being a naturally curious super 00:12:49.019 --> 00:12:53.679 connector, ask them questions. And then they 00:12:53.679 --> 00:12:56.980 say goodbye, having handed you their card. And 00:12:56.980 --> 00:12:59.940 two hours later, they see you on the stage. And 00:12:59.940 --> 00:13:02.879 they go, that's the guy I talked to. And you 00:13:02.879 --> 00:13:05.899 think later, no, that's the guy you talked at. 00:13:07.559 --> 00:13:10.220 That is the fallacy in networking people don't 00:13:10.220 --> 00:13:12.740 get. My estimate, right, not a social science 00:13:12.740 --> 00:13:16.320 graph yet, is that only 30 % of people are actually 00:13:16.320 --> 00:13:18.799 curious enough to build depth in a conversation. 00:13:19.840 --> 00:13:23.480 But the ones who do, right, like, why would I 00:13:23.480 --> 00:13:26.899 want to go into even speaking on a podcast with 00:13:26.899 --> 00:13:29.879 you, which I'm very grateful for, without having 00:13:29.879 --> 00:13:31.980 read what you do and looked you in the eye and 00:13:31.980 --> 00:13:35.159 talked to you and seen that we are kindred spirits 00:13:35.159 --> 00:13:37.990 of how this world works. for that right you come 00:13:37.990 --> 00:13:40.070 with 10 questions which means you have curiosity 00:13:40.070 --> 00:13:44.409 not just the necessity of being a host but you 00:13:44.409 --> 00:13:47.690 have insight with that which means that our rapport 00:13:47.690 --> 00:13:49.509 is going to be different and what people listen 00:13:49.509 --> 00:13:52.389 to from it is going to be different than something 00:13:52.389 --> 00:13:55.649 that would otherwise be drier but now which is 00:13:55.649 --> 00:13:57.690 a lot of conversations when we go through the 00:13:57.690 --> 00:14:01.070 motions without actually that that emphasis on 00:14:01.070 --> 00:14:03.870 the deep listening and curiosity as essential 00:14:05.000 --> 00:14:07.120 To again, the same thing, building the trust. 00:14:07.240 --> 00:14:10.019 You combine the two, vulnerability and curiosity, 00:14:10.080 --> 00:14:13.399 and you have something worth remembering or being, 00:14:13.519 --> 00:14:16.960 you're worth remembering from exhibiting those 00:14:16.960 --> 00:14:21.139 traits. That's so true. And really, when I say 00:14:21.139 --> 00:14:24.360 when you're first meeting somebody, you let them 00:14:24.360 --> 00:14:28.220 talk about themselves. But it's not to such a 00:14:28.220 --> 00:14:31.460 point where they talk, talk, then you say goodbye. 00:14:32.279 --> 00:14:35.350 Because They don't even know your name or what 00:14:35.350 --> 00:14:39.750 you do because all they did was talk, talk. And 00:14:39.750 --> 00:14:42.730 that's why I will interject, interjecting with 00:14:42.730 --> 00:14:45.529 you right now, several parts of my own vulnerability 00:14:45.529 --> 00:14:50.730 to see if they bite. It's true. And if they bite, 00:14:50.830 --> 00:14:54.490 then you have a conversation. If not, it's a 00:14:54.490 --> 00:14:56.330 one -way mirror and you were on the wrong side 00:14:56.330 --> 00:15:00.649 of it. Absolutely. Absolutely. And really, every 00:15:00.649 --> 00:15:04.340 time that... that you do this if they bite. It's 00:15:04.340 --> 00:15:06.000 one little thing in the back of your mind saying, 00:15:06.139 --> 00:15:09.600 okay, they bit on that so I can talk about this 00:15:09.600 --> 00:15:12.740 or I can take the conversation in this direction. 00:15:13.419 --> 00:15:17.279 But that's all communication going back and forth. 00:15:17.879 --> 00:15:20.980 Without it, what you said at the beginning was 00:15:20.980 --> 00:15:25.320 that's who you spoke at, not to. And it's so 00:15:25.320 --> 00:15:28.600 true. Okay, to add one more thing. Absolutely. 00:15:28.740 --> 00:15:30.840 Go right ahead. So I want to point this out in 00:15:30.840 --> 00:15:33.039 terms of, yes, we're walking through the basic 00:15:33.039 --> 00:15:35.279 principles which are in my book and the way I 00:15:35.279 --> 00:15:37.179 talk about connecting. I know a lot of it's akin 00:15:37.179 --> 00:15:39.759 to the way you talk about this and speak as well. 00:15:40.259 --> 00:15:44.399 The thing people fail to realize is, I believe 00:15:44.399 --> 00:15:47.659 we have maybe five to six times in our life to 00:15:47.659 --> 00:15:50.580 be in the right place at the right time to meet 00:15:50.580 --> 00:15:54.259 the right person. So if you're not ready for 00:15:54.259 --> 00:15:57.490 that moment. You have lost more than you could 00:15:57.490 --> 00:16:02.450 ever fathom because that guy who just talks at 00:16:02.450 --> 00:16:07.009 you and then hears the keynote speaker, he didn't 00:16:07.009 --> 00:16:11.090 just get to know you. You wrote him off by the 00:16:11.090 --> 00:16:13.370 time your conversation was done because you saw 00:16:13.370 --> 00:16:15.730 his intentions and what was behind the curtain. 00:16:16.309 --> 00:16:19.210 You don't need to talk to him anymore, no matter 00:16:19.210 --> 00:16:24.070 who he is, because he's a taker. Absolutely. 00:16:24.190 --> 00:16:27.389 And as well as I do, that you really, you have 00:16:27.389 --> 00:16:33.049 to be a giver. Not 100%, not 100%, but like I 00:16:33.049 --> 00:16:36.549 said before, you need to give in order to receive. 00:16:37.009 --> 00:16:40.889 But if you are, again, going back to that person 00:16:40.889 --> 00:16:44.269 that's just speaking at people, I really, it's 00:16:44.269 --> 00:16:46.929 very hard for me to say this, being the networker 00:16:46.929 --> 00:16:49.580 that I am, I don't have time for them. I don't 00:16:49.580 --> 00:16:52.299 have time for people like that. And I just move 00:16:52.299 --> 00:16:57.159 on. But it's moving on from that person that 00:16:57.159 --> 00:17:01.600 makes it more difficult for me because they never 00:17:01.600 --> 00:17:05.140 shut up. But that's beside the point. Okay. How 00:17:05.140 --> 00:17:08.980 can someone move past the fear of being too much 00:17:08.980 --> 00:17:13.059 or not enough when trying to show up vulnerability 00:17:13.059 --> 00:17:17.910 in their professional relationships? It's why 00:17:17.910 --> 00:17:21.450 it's a combination. If you're just vulnerable 00:17:21.450 --> 00:17:23.329 with somebody and not knowing if it resonates, 00:17:23.529 --> 00:17:25.809 you're still talking at them. You're just sharing 00:17:25.809 --> 00:17:28.690 more than you probably should have. If you're 00:17:28.690 --> 00:17:31.890 so curious that you just pepper them with questions, 00:17:31.970 --> 00:17:34.990 you're not actually hearing them. You're just 00:17:34.990 --> 00:17:38.150 peppering them with questions. It's an intricate 00:17:38.150 --> 00:17:41.609 balance. This is an art. It's a skill. So to 00:17:41.609 --> 00:17:45.579 do that right. is to have what is that real give 00:17:45.579 --> 00:17:49.119 and give in a conversation where you simply don't 00:17:49.119 --> 00:17:50.960 just shift gears because you need to make your 00:17:50.960 --> 00:17:53.859 point or you harp so much on what they're doing, 00:17:53.920 --> 00:17:55.700 you miss the chance to share about yourself. 00:17:56.400 --> 00:17:59.319 It is that deep listening that makes it more 00:17:59.319 --> 00:18:02.539 nuanced and different, but you have to put enough 00:18:02.539 --> 00:18:06.359 out there many times to get somebody to open 00:18:06.359 --> 00:18:08.839 up because in a conference setting in particular, 00:18:08.960 --> 00:18:11.809 just to keep this going. How many people do you 00:18:11.809 --> 00:18:14.349 talk to within a given day? How many people are 00:18:14.349 --> 00:18:17.210 memorable? Tell me it's more than three for anyone. 00:18:18.430 --> 00:18:21.029 So how are you going to be one of those three? 00:18:21.210 --> 00:18:24.029 But then the follow -up is warranted. You actually 00:18:24.029 --> 00:18:26.269 get the contact information and know it will 00:18:26.269 --> 00:18:29.410 be reciprocated. Or you've even set an intention 00:18:29.410 --> 00:18:34.450 from it. All this is an art and it's a science 00:18:34.450 --> 00:18:39.220 that involves that self -work. You have to study 00:18:39.220 --> 00:18:42.980 how you show up to people to understand that 00:18:42.980 --> 00:18:44.779 your style and mine are going to be totally different. 00:18:44.819 --> 00:18:47.460 Your outcome is different than mine. You are 00:18:47.460 --> 00:18:49.859 a sought after speaker looking for those keynote 00:18:49.859 --> 00:18:52.220 opportunities to do your workshops and to speak. 00:18:52.640 --> 00:18:55.000 That's not how my network works or how my business 00:18:55.000 --> 00:18:57.400 works. So I have something different from the 00:18:57.400 --> 00:19:00.779 same conversation, even if we have the same approach 00:19:00.779 --> 00:19:04.440 to start it off. Absolutely. And it all goes 00:19:04.440 --> 00:19:09.109 back to active listening. Right. You have to 00:19:09.109 --> 00:19:12.230 listen to the person that you're speaking with. 00:19:12.609 --> 00:19:15.829 And I call it active listening because you're 00:19:15.829 --> 00:19:18.130 not just hearing them. You're listening to what 00:19:18.130 --> 00:19:21.450 they have to say. And after they finish talking, 00:19:21.670 --> 00:19:25.670 you're pausing. And that pause becomes so important. 00:19:26.279 --> 00:19:28.960 It's because it tells the other person you are 00:19:28.960 --> 00:19:32.119 listening to them and you have to respond to 00:19:32.119 --> 00:19:35.460 them with what they were talking about, not the 00:19:35.460 --> 00:19:38.839 next thing that you wanted to say. And that's 00:19:38.839 --> 00:19:42.619 so hard for somebody. If you're a salesman, I've 00:19:42.619 --> 00:19:45.880 been a salesman for 30 years. And you're always 00:19:45.880 --> 00:19:49.299 trying to sell something. But to be a networking 00:19:49.299 --> 00:19:52.960 person, you listen to what the person has to 00:19:52.960 --> 00:19:56.910 say. You respond to the person. you take notes 00:19:56.910 --> 00:20:00.789 and everything else. And I have to say, when 00:20:00.789 --> 00:20:04.789 you follow up with these people, now you're saying 00:20:04.789 --> 00:20:09.069 that you generally have three people that you 00:20:09.069 --> 00:20:13.930 remember. In a three or four hour event, I say 00:20:13.930 --> 00:20:18.849 take 15, 20 business cards. I used to, listen, 00:20:18.930 --> 00:20:21.049 I was in a mortgage industry. I used to come 00:20:21.049 --> 00:20:23.710 home with a shoebox filled with business cards 00:20:23.710 --> 00:20:27.230 and say, look how good I did when I really didn't 00:20:27.230 --> 00:20:29.829 do well at all. But on the back of your business 00:20:29.829 --> 00:20:32.309 card, on their business card, you write down 00:20:32.309 --> 00:20:34.569 the date, the name of the function, and something 00:20:34.569 --> 00:20:37.250 you spoke about. So when you do follow up with 00:20:37.250 --> 00:20:40.410 them, it jogs your memory. But that's a whole 00:20:40.410 --> 00:20:43.150 other conversation. It's an important thing to 00:20:43.150 --> 00:20:44.670 note, though. I know you have more questions, 00:20:44.769 --> 00:20:46.690 but I want to harp on this because the art of 00:20:46.690 --> 00:20:50.000 doing this. is so crucial. What I have adapted 00:20:50.000 --> 00:20:53.220 now and how I work in my world of connecting, 00:20:53.380 --> 00:20:55.440 networking, my own events, tons of conferences, 00:20:55.740 --> 00:20:59.299 I will actually look at the person and say, Michael, 00:20:59.359 --> 00:21:01.720 I really enjoyed talking about this. I'd love 00:21:01.720 --> 00:21:04.779 to follow up with another call about this. And 00:21:04.779 --> 00:21:07.259 then whether it's LinkedIn or WhatsApp or email 00:21:07.259 --> 00:21:10.619 or text or any variation, I will literally send 00:21:10.619 --> 00:21:13.599 them a note live to say, Michael, I'm looking 00:21:13.599 --> 00:21:17.079 forward to talking about AI and the service industry. 00:21:18.079 --> 00:21:21.720 And then they remember it too. And from the staff, 00:21:21.759 --> 00:21:25.599 even a 15 or 20, sometimes I end up with 10 great 00:21:25.599 --> 00:21:27.779 meetings from a conference. Depends on the number 00:21:27.779 --> 00:21:30.200 of people, the type of conference, how many days. 00:21:30.980 --> 00:21:34.720 But I don't end up with three of those people 00:21:34.720 --> 00:21:38.799 to me. I'm a minority in the type of people I 00:21:38.799 --> 00:21:41.680 follow up with because they need to resonate 00:21:41.680 --> 00:21:45.220 enough to be worth the time as I'm trying to 00:21:45.220 --> 00:21:50.130 do for them. And it is really difficult to remember 00:21:50.130 --> 00:21:52.569 everyone you've met unless you resonated in that 00:21:52.569 --> 00:21:55.170 moment and set the intention to connect further. 00:21:56.069 --> 00:21:58.990 That's so true. That's so true. When you're doing 00:21:58.990 --> 00:22:02.230 your follow -up, the follow -up, I feel, is more 00:22:02.230 --> 00:22:04.849 important actually than meeting the person. Because 00:22:04.849 --> 00:22:07.910 the way you follow up, just how you follow up, 00:22:07.910 --> 00:22:11.710 the way you follow up is so very important. And 00:22:11.710 --> 00:22:15.650 I have a whole secret sauce with following up. 00:22:16.720 --> 00:22:20.500 From that first email, text, WhatsApp, whatever 00:22:20.500 --> 00:22:23.680 the case may be, from that first touch forward, 00:22:23.940 --> 00:22:26.740 that will determine the type of relationship 00:22:26.740 --> 00:22:30.299 you're going to have with that person. So it's 00:22:30.299 --> 00:22:34.160 very important. What does a truly connected community 00:22:34.160 --> 00:22:38.200 look like to you? And how can you build it intentionally 00:22:38.200 --> 00:22:45.839 in both business and life? I'll qualify to say, 00:22:45.960 --> 00:22:49.099 although business and life are separated, I don't 00:22:49.099 --> 00:22:51.000 believe they are separate because we are each 00:22:51.000 --> 00:22:55.900 one person. The idea that people wear hats and 00:22:55.900 --> 00:22:58.400 you're approaching them on one hat versus another 00:22:58.400 --> 00:23:01.240 means you're being pigeonholed into the thing 00:23:01.240 --> 00:23:04.579 they want to hear you on. When you connect with 00:23:04.579 --> 00:23:08.180 somebody at a deeper level in, as your question 00:23:08.180 --> 00:23:11.000 alludes to, a community, you can connect on a 00:23:11.000 --> 00:23:14.400 myriad of different reasons. Some are actionable, 00:23:14.579 --> 00:23:17.359 some are informational, some are personal, but 00:23:17.359 --> 00:23:21.599 they're all to the same person. And so the difference 00:23:21.599 --> 00:23:24.539 in what makes a community function as opposed 00:23:24.539 --> 00:23:28.240 to even just the network is, it may be as we 00:23:28.240 --> 00:23:31.119 develop our relationship, I will never ever provide 00:23:31.119 --> 00:23:34.819 you a lead gen, a speaking opportunity, or a 00:23:34.819 --> 00:23:38.539 client. But if somebody I know who trusts me 00:23:38.539 --> 00:23:42.579 that then meets you does so, without an expectation 00:23:42.579 --> 00:23:46.619 in return from you or me, then you have a community. 00:23:47.099 --> 00:23:49.359 Because a community can have these different 00:23:49.359 --> 00:23:51.779 swirling circles where you can trust that if 00:23:51.779 --> 00:23:55.660 everyone's intentions are purposeful, then at 00:23:55.660 --> 00:23:59.140 some point it will come back to you. But my argument 00:23:59.140 --> 00:24:01.799 is, related to risk earlier as your first question, 00:24:02.059 --> 00:24:04.400 you have to have a community where there's an 00:24:04.400 --> 00:24:08.960 expectation of reciprocity, even if it is in 00:24:08.960 --> 00:24:12.009 a chain of connections. as opposed to me to you 00:24:12.009 --> 00:24:15.789 and you to me. And the community that I run, 00:24:15.950 --> 00:24:18.109 which I call orchestrated connecting, because 00:24:18.109 --> 00:24:20.890 I'm both a composer whose music no one listens 00:24:20.890 --> 00:24:23.130 to, even when I say I'm a composer and they like 00:24:23.130 --> 00:24:26.529 what I say, but also somebody who runs a network 00:24:26.529 --> 00:24:30.410 in several businesses. I trust that if I were 00:24:30.410 --> 00:24:32.690 to ask anyone on my network to take the time, 00:24:32.789 --> 00:24:36.049 they would take the time. Because they trust 00:24:36.049 --> 00:24:38.130 that when I would ask people to take time for 00:24:38.130 --> 00:24:41.500 them, it would also happen. And both of those 00:24:41.500 --> 00:24:44.839 examples, the risk is inherent. If you refuse 00:24:44.839 --> 00:24:47.319 to take time for something that I think would 00:24:47.319 --> 00:24:50.940 be beneficial, then somebody may refuse to take 00:24:50.940 --> 00:24:54.380 time for you, or I may refuse to ask because 00:24:54.380 --> 00:24:57.319 you valued your time above helping somebody else. 00:24:58.339 --> 00:25:02.819 That's very true. And it all depends on how you 00:25:02.819 --> 00:25:05.900 look at yourself, your time, but you go back 00:25:05.900 --> 00:25:10.789 to that same basic level of trust. The people 00:25:10.789 --> 00:25:14.829 within your community, they trust you wholeheartedly. 00:25:15.049 --> 00:25:19.490 So if you recommend somebody to them, of course, 00:25:19.490 --> 00:25:22.750 they're going to take that leap and touch base 00:25:22.750 --> 00:25:25.549 with that person. Otherwise, they wouldn't be 00:25:25.549 --> 00:25:29.809 part of your community. You know, so of course, 00:25:29.829 --> 00:25:32.569 only when you set the intention for how the community 00:25:32.569 --> 00:25:35.470 needs to function, because there are people that 00:25:35.470 --> 00:25:37.809 are really good people who might be moderate 00:25:37.809 --> 00:25:41.740 givers. But in some cases, they'll happily help 00:25:41.740 --> 00:25:45.240 if they've been helped, but they weigh whether 00:25:45.240 --> 00:25:47.440 they've been helped recently enough to spend 00:25:47.440 --> 00:25:50.779 their time. Whereas in my network, somebody can 00:25:50.779 --> 00:25:53.920 have been helped by me two years ago, but because 00:25:53.920 --> 00:25:57.019 it was so substantive, they're willing anytime 00:25:57.019 --> 00:25:59.839 I ask, but they know I only ask when it's completely 00:25:59.839 --> 00:26:05.359 relevant and useful. Good point. That's quite 00:26:05.359 --> 00:26:10.380 well taken. Okay. You've said before that connection 00:26:10.380 --> 00:26:14.839 without curiosity is just performance. Can you 00:26:14.839 --> 00:26:17.839 speak to that idea and how it shows up in today's 00:26:17.839 --> 00:26:22.819 networking spaces? Let me back that one out to 00:26:22.819 --> 00:26:25.480 the world of dating. Now, I haven't been on a 00:26:25.480 --> 00:26:28.500 date in a very long time, but this resonates 00:26:28.500 --> 00:26:31.640 with everyone who has. Same thing as that person 00:26:31.640 --> 00:26:35.700 who spoke at you at the conference, right? Think 00:26:35.700 --> 00:26:39.140 about... The one date you went on where you met 00:26:39.140 --> 00:26:42.440 years ago for both of us, the most gorgeous, 00:26:42.539 --> 00:26:47.759 incredible person they had everything. You're 00:26:47.759 --> 00:26:50.519 describing my wife. There you go. But see, you 00:26:50.519 --> 00:26:53.539 built a long, bigger connection, right? But think 00:26:53.539 --> 00:26:56.200 about the person five years before, unless you 00:26:56.200 --> 00:26:57.500 were high school sweethearts and don't because 00:26:57.500 --> 00:27:00.440 13 years old has been way too strange. But think 00:27:00.440 --> 00:27:03.059 about that person that just the initial spark 00:27:03.059 --> 00:27:07.140 seemed like it would light a fire. And you told 00:27:07.140 --> 00:27:09.920 them everything about yourself, everything that's 00:27:09.920 --> 00:27:11.920 great about you, everything that would make you 00:27:11.920 --> 00:27:15.240 incredible, and then they never called back. 00:27:17.440 --> 00:27:21.380 That's the price of having no curiosity. Everyone 00:27:21.380 --> 00:27:23.960 I know has had a situation or multiples like 00:27:23.960 --> 00:27:26.579 that, or wonder why, if they're such a great 00:27:26.579 --> 00:27:29.359 friend, why they can't find that right partner. 00:27:30.599 --> 00:27:33.200 And in business and networking and all of this 00:27:33.200 --> 00:27:35.900 is inherently the same. We are looking for a 00:27:35.900 --> 00:27:38.240 validation for who we are and what we do and 00:27:38.240 --> 00:27:40.779 the people who give us that we will spend more 00:27:40.779 --> 00:27:46.299 time with. And that is a given gift that is for 00:27:46.299 --> 00:27:50.259 which curiosity is essential as one of the two 00:27:50.259 --> 00:27:54.180 primary ingredients. It does. That sounds like 00:27:54.180 --> 00:27:57.799 it is essential, but very good. Thank you. What 00:27:57.799 --> 00:28:02.200 are some small. Practical ways people can take 00:28:02.200 --> 00:28:05.819 more social or emotional risks in networking 00:28:05.819 --> 00:28:11.500 without feeling overwhelmed. When you look at 00:28:11.500 --> 00:28:15.980 the world of what you don't know, it's completely 00:28:15.980 --> 00:28:19.119 overwhelming. Where should you go? Should you 00:28:19.119 --> 00:28:21.440 keep your job? Should you go back to school? 00:28:21.640 --> 00:28:23.579 Should you join this network? Should you go to 00:28:23.579 --> 00:28:26.059 this other network? We're always looking for 00:28:26.059 --> 00:28:30.150 how we are out facing to get something. The most 00:28:30.150 --> 00:28:33.450 practical small step is do a little bit of intention 00:28:33.450 --> 00:28:36.230 setting so that when you ask for what you need, 00:28:36.289 --> 00:28:38.789 people are able to know where you need to go. 00:28:40.210 --> 00:28:42.309 And so that's a simple way of saying the more 00:28:42.309 --> 00:28:46.130 you figure your stuff out, the easier it is for 00:28:46.130 --> 00:28:48.390 people to help you. And the hardest part is knowing 00:28:48.390 --> 00:28:53.970 how to ask for it. If you can't ask for it, that 00:28:53.970 --> 00:28:57.930 is the hardest part. Yeah. And think about it, 00:28:57.950 --> 00:29:00.500 right? If somebody knows what you need, then 00:29:00.500 --> 00:29:03.700 they can be your advocate or champion. If they 00:29:03.700 --> 00:29:06.400 don't know, then the fact they can't define it 00:29:06.400 --> 00:29:10.779 is a negative against you. Somebody comes, you're 00:29:10.779 --> 00:29:12.299 like, I have to find a new job. You're like, 00:29:12.400 --> 00:29:14.119 okay, I'd like to help you. They're like, I need 00:29:14.119 --> 00:29:17.240 a new job. And you're like, what type of job? 00:29:17.440 --> 00:29:18.839 And they're like, I could do anything. And I 00:29:18.839 --> 00:29:20.799 was like, yeah, no one's looking for anything. 00:29:22.039 --> 00:29:25.519 But if you come and you say, I was the CFO of 00:29:25.519 --> 00:29:28.539 a company. I really love doing that work. When 00:29:28.539 --> 00:29:31.200 the startup was acquired, I realized I'd like 00:29:31.200 --> 00:29:33.299 to help several startups. You know anyone that's 00:29:33.299 --> 00:29:36.619 a fractional CFO I could talk to? Or several 00:29:36.619 --> 00:29:39.279 companies looking for somebody with exit experience 00:29:39.279 --> 00:29:43.019 in fintech? Then even the person who's not a 00:29:43.019 --> 00:29:45.700 connector like you or I will go, yeah, you should 00:29:45.700 --> 00:29:49.920 talk to Joe. You have to be specific, which means 00:29:49.920 --> 00:29:54.079 you have to know how to trigger that specificity 00:29:54.079 --> 00:29:56.700 in others. Once you understand the impact ask, 00:29:56.859 --> 00:30:00.400 as I call it, the power of that ask, then all 00:30:00.400 --> 00:30:03.279 the research you do of where to belong, who to 00:30:03.279 --> 00:30:05.420 talk to, where you might need to build what you 00:30:05.420 --> 00:30:08.420 need to for your business and your life, it no 00:30:08.420 --> 00:30:11.799 longer is vast and overwhelming. It's lots of 00:30:11.799 --> 00:30:14.859 specific little parts that you can now plug yourself 00:30:14.859 --> 00:30:19.839 into much better. Absolutely. That's great, great 00:30:19.839 --> 00:30:23.500 advice. Focusing on, let's say, what you can 00:30:23.500 --> 00:30:26.559 do, what you can't do, but narrowing the field, 00:30:26.640 --> 00:30:31.019 make it laser focused so that somebody else can 00:30:31.019 --> 00:30:35.220 help you. That is great, great advice. Okay. 00:30:35.259 --> 00:30:40.000 In your experience, excuse me, in your experience, 00:30:40.099 --> 00:30:43.519 what happens when we build networks in rooted 00:30:43.519 --> 00:30:47.559 authenticity rather than agenda? And how does 00:30:47.559 --> 00:30:50.440 that shift? How does that shift the outcome? 00:30:52.460 --> 00:30:54.819 I'm really grateful, Michael, for the community 00:30:54.819 --> 00:30:58.119 that I've built, because when I make an ask, 00:30:58.299 --> 00:31:04.480 the answer every time is anything for you. Imagine 00:31:04.480 --> 00:31:08.819 the power of having hundreds, or in my cases 00:31:08.819 --> 00:31:12.359 at this point, thousands of people willing to 00:31:12.359 --> 00:31:15.059 bend over backwards for something not relevant 00:31:15.059 --> 00:31:20.579 for them. That is rooted not just in trust, but 00:31:20.579 --> 00:31:25.279 in action. I've earned that. I've put the time 00:31:25.279 --> 00:31:28.859 in. And so when I come in to quote cash in my 00:31:28.859 --> 00:31:31.880 chips, the people have been waiting. In some 00:31:31.880 --> 00:31:34.160 cases, they felt really guilty. And in many cases, 00:31:34.240 --> 00:31:37.819 it's not even me that helped them. It's somebody 00:31:37.819 --> 00:31:40.460 I know who helped them that they met through 00:31:40.460 --> 00:31:43.900 the network. But you don't have to be a master 00:31:43.900 --> 00:31:45.960 connector or networker running a big community 00:31:45.960 --> 00:31:49.240 like I do. You simply have to look at everyone 00:31:49.240 --> 00:31:55.279 around you. as an opportunity to help them and 00:31:55.279 --> 00:31:57.420 to know at some point you may be helped in return 00:31:57.420 --> 00:32:00.319 or they may help somebody else you love and respect. 00:32:01.240 --> 00:32:04.200 That's why it's purposeful, the way we can design 00:32:04.200 --> 00:32:06.420 this. And we may believe we're powerless in this, 00:32:06.579 --> 00:32:10.220 but I know that we have a choice who we surround 00:32:10.220 --> 00:32:14.119 ourselves with, who we spend our time with, who 00:32:14.119 --> 00:32:18.500 we partner with, who we work with. In some cases, 00:32:18.519 --> 00:32:20.440 it's out of our control. But as we go through 00:32:20.440 --> 00:32:23.319 this life, we are less and less out of control, 00:32:23.420 --> 00:32:25.720 right? You start with your family, into your 00:32:25.720 --> 00:32:29.000 schooling, into your initial work. But as your 00:32:29.000 --> 00:32:30.880 life progresses, the thing we have to realize 00:32:30.880 --> 00:32:33.579 that needs to be flipped on its head is it's 00:32:33.579 --> 00:32:36.299 a choice who we surround ourselves with. And 00:32:36.299 --> 00:32:39.200 therefore, the more intentionality of that, the 00:32:39.200 --> 00:32:44.099 better the outcome from it. That's great. That's 00:32:44.099 --> 00:32:48.900 great. David, you... are speaking like a successful 00:32:48.900 --> 00:32:53.579 person. You have been through the lows, the highs, 00:32:53.839 --> 00:32:57.160 and you've come out of this smelling pretty good. 00:32:57.660 --> 00:33:02.319 But think back for a minute. Think back of the 00:33:02.319 --> 00:33:05.619 mistakes you've made. And I'm sure there's one 00:33:05.619 --> 00:33:10.420 or two. But give me a mistake that you've made 00:33:10.420 --> 00:33:15.759 and how you overcame it. I believe you only learn 00:33:15.759 --> 00:33:19.559 from mistakes. Everything that I have now, and 00:33:19.559 --> 00:33:22.180 it might smell of success. I don't know if it's 00:33:22.180 --> 00:33:24.980 necessarily that. The joke right now, as we do 00:33:24.980 --> 00:33:26.880 this podcast is, you might have a book coming 00:33:26.880 --> 00:33:29.079 out August 5th around Purposal Community and 00:33:29.079 --> 00:33:31.720 Connection. It might be a bestseller, or I might 00:33:31.720 --> 00:33:35.240 put author on my LinkedIn page. And I have a 00:33:35.240 --> 00:33:37.480 startup that's launching, and I might be a successful 00:33:37.480 --> 00:33:41.119 exited founder, or I might just put founder on 00:33:41.119 --> 00:33:44.150 my LinkedIn page. The way we perceive success 00:33:44.150 --> 00:33:47.230 is always relative because even nature is to 00:33:47.230 --> 00:33:52.230 want more. Where I made my biggest mistakes were 00:33:52.230 --> 00:33:55.549 in wanting more without understanding not only 00:33:55.549 --> 00:33:58.950 my value, but really in understanding other people's 00:33:58.950 --> 00:34:03.430 value around me. So the origin story of orchestrated 00:34:03.430 --> 00:34:05.569 connecting is the best example of this. And no, 00:34:05.589 --> 00:34:07.349 I won't give you the 20 minute spiel because 00:34:07.349 --> 00:34:09.579 we're on a time limit here. But essentially, 00:34:09.760 --> 00:34:12.179 I built a network of trust where I didn't connect 00:34:12.179 --> 00:34:15.500 the people I trusted to each other. That was 00:34:15.500 --> 00:34:17.559 one of the biggest mistakes of my life because 00:34:17.559 --> 00:34:20.239 everyone around me needed something I couldn't 00:34:20.239 --> 00:34:23.739 do when I was in the way. And I realized that 00:34:23.739 --> 00:34:26.159 the best way to build my intentional network 00:34:26.159 --> 00:34:29.059 was to get out of the way by getting those people 00:34:29.059 --> 00:34:33.219 to meet each other. I had to develop a rule system, 00:34:33.300 --> 00:34:35.400 a mantra, all these different parts to make it 00:34:35.400 --> 00:34:38.019 work. But in the end, Michael, what really worked? 00:34:38.590 --> 00:34:42.210 was learning that I was not nearly as good as 00:34:42.210 --> 00:34:45.809 I thought I was with seeing the patterns and 00:34:45.809 --> 00:34:49.230 balancing my time and helping people. And I was 00:34:49.230 --> 00:34:53.289 absolutely horrendous at demonstrating my value 00:34:53.289 --> 00:34:58.469 while doing it. Okay. Okay. Let's bring this 00:34:58.469 --> 00:35:02.050 podcast full circle. If someone is listening 00:35:02.050 --> 00:35:05.829 today, feeling disconnected, guarded, or unsure 00:35:05.829 --> 00:35:09.489 of how to start, What's the first step toward 00:35:09.489 --> 00:35:14.690 building community with purpose and heart? You 00:35:14.690 --> 00:35:16.469 know, what I have to say now, according to my 00:35:16.469 --> 00:35:19.570 publicist, is read my book, Orchestrating Connection, 00:35:19.590 --> 00:35:21.610 How to Build Purposeful Community in a Tribal 00:35:21.610 --> 00:35:24.110 World. But because not everyone reads a book 00:35:24.110 --> 00:35:26.269 in my family, what I'm basically going to do 00:35:26.269 --> 00:35:28.769 is have a bunch of coasters, because that's what 00:35:28.769 --> 00:35:31.030 we call my classical albums that everyone used 00:35:31.030 --> 00:35:34.750 to buy, coasters. I put everything up on my website. 00:35:34.889 --> 00:35:38.099 I put it up in video form. I've really tried 00:35:38.099 --> 00:35:42.019 to convey to everyone that to start, the most 00:35:42.019 --> 00:35:45.199 important thing is to know you have to, as per 00:35:45.199 --> 00:35:47.519 all of your great questions today, you have to 00:35:47.519 --> 00:35:51.059 get outside your comfort zone. And by getting 00:35:51.059 --> 00:35:52.960 outside your comfort zone, you have to know that 00:35:52.960 --> 00:35:56.800 you're going to get both great response and great 00:35:56.800 --> 00:35:59.699 criticism for not just talking with the people 00:35:59.699 --> 00:36:02.340 who validate you, who know you. And some are 00:36:02.340 --> 00:36:03.900 going to like you. Some are going to love you. 00:36:03.980 --> 00:36:05.980 Some are not going to care in the slightest. 00:36:06.679 --> 00:36:09.000 And the minute you start to see the patterns 00:36:09.000 --> 00:36:12.059 of how somebody responds to you or not, you gain 00:36:12.059 --> 00:36:16.039 more control, more confidence, so to speak. And 00:36:16.039 --> 00:36:18.340 you start to see which people to avoid, which 00:36:18.340 --> 00:36:22.739 is as important as which people to embrace. Very 00:36:22.739 --> 00:36:25.980 good. David, I have to tell you, you're a fantastic 00:36:25.980 --> 00:36:29.900 guest. I loved having you on. But if somebody 00:36:29.900 --> 00:36:32.500 wanted to get hold of you, what's the best way? 00:36:34.039 --> 00:36:36.789 If you Google me. and you look at my websites, 00:36:36.989 --> 00:36:39.909 business or community, I put my information out 00:36:39.909 --> 00:36:42.590 there. My email, if you actually Google hard 00:36:42.590 --> 00:36:45.530 enough, you can find my cell phone. But I believe 00:36:45.530 --> 00:36:48.989 in a world of intentional connection. So if somebody 00:36:48.989 --> 00:36:51.090 were to listen to this and want to connect, the 00:36:51.090 --> 00:36:53.969 first thing I'd ask for them to do is to write 00:36:53.969 --> 00:36:57.250 you as a listener and to thank you for your podcast 00:36:57.250 --> 00:37:01.030 and for your work. The second thing I would then 00:37:01.030 --> 00:37:04.110 suggest is if something struck them, Don't just 00:37:04.110 --> 00:37:07.010 write me and be like, hey, let's connect. Really 00:37:07.010 --> 00:37:09.090 means you didn't listen to the last 30 minutes 00:37:09.090 --> 00:37:11.309 of our conversation. Is there something that 00:37:11.309 --> 00:37:13.590 I'm offering or something that I'm doing that 00:37:13.590 --> 00:37:16.670 we think there could be reciprocal value? Because 00:37:16.670 --> 00:37:18.670 in the world of running a community and a network 00:37:18.670 --> 00:37:21.030 and a business and being an active dad with kids 00:37:21.030 --> 00:37:23.769 who are 8 and 11, it's the thing I've lost in 00:37:23.769 --> 00:37:27.690 my life is time. Therefore, if you're going to 00:37:27.690 --> 00:37:31.429 add to value and time, and I can do the same. 00:37:32.269 --> 00:37:35.710 Let's build a relationship. Otherwise, if there's 00:37:35.710 --> 00:37:37.750 things that one could learn from what I'm saying, 00:37:37.929 --> 00:37:42.809 buy the book. That's great. That's great. David, 00:37:42.889 --> 00:37:46.150 again, thank you for coming on the podcast. And 00:37:46.150 --> 00:37:49.170 I hope to talk to you again soon. Absolutely. 00:37:49.230 --> 00:37:51.309 Thank you so much for having me, Michael. And 00:37:51.309 --> 00:37:54.050 thank you for all the work that you do. Well, 00:37:54.150 --> 00:37:57.070 hold on, folks. Don't go anywhere. Let me just 00:37:57.070 --> 00:38:00.260 read a few of our sponsors that we have. Struggling 00:38:00.260 --> 00:38:03.800 to reach success? Maybe it's time to quit. In 00:38:03.800 --> 00:38:07.639 Quit Your Way to Success by Rodney Davis, this 00:38:07.639 --> 00:38:11.260 reveals 27 steps to breaking bad habits that 00:38:11.260 --> 00:38:14.840 hold you back. This powerful book helps you rewire 00:38:14.840 --> 00:38:18.280 your mindset, take control of your actions, and 00:38:18.280 --> 00:38:21.380 turn setbacks into stepping stones. With real 00:38:21.380 --> 00:38:24.849 -life examples, motivational quotes, and actionable 00:38:24.849 --> 00:38:27.969 lessons, especially for sales professionals. 00:38:28.349 --> 00:38:30.610 You'll gain the tools to quit, what's stopping 00:38:30.610 --> 00:38:33.489 you, and start winning. Transform your future 00:38:33.489 --> 00:38:37.030 today. So Quit Your Way to Success by Rodney 00:38:37.030 --> 00:38:41.469 Davis, available now on Amazon. And this is a 00:38:41.469 --> 00:38:44.909 nonprofit called Revved Up Kids. This is something 00:38:44.909 --> 00:38:48.469 I believe in wholeheartedly. Revved Up Kids is 00:38:48.469 --> 00:38:51.889 on a mission to protect children and teens from 00:38:51.889 --> 00:38:54.750 sexual abuse. exploitation, and trafficking. 00:38:54.989 --> 00:38:57.650 They provide prevention training programs for 00:38:57.650 --> 00:39:01.309 children, teens, and adults. To learn more, go 00:39:01.309 --> 00:39:06.190 to revvedupkids .org. That's R -E -V -V -E -D 00:39:06.190 --> 00:39:13.389 -U -P -K -I -D -S dot org. Well, that's our folks. 00:39:13.920 --> 00:39:16.940 A huge thank you to our special guests for sharing 00:39:16.940 --> 00:39:19.920 such incredible insights today. And of course, 00:39:19.920 --> 00:39:23.320 a big shout out to you, our amazing listeners, 00:39:23.460 --> 00:39:26.260 for tuning in and spending your time with us. 00:39:26.639 --> 00:39:30.079 Remember, networking isn't about being perfect. 00:39:30.219 --> 00:39:33.119 It's about being present. So take what you've 00:39:33.119 --> 00:39:36.059 learned today, get out there, and make some meaningful 00:39:36.059 --> 00:39:39.670 connections. If you enjoyed this episode, don't 00:39:39.670 --> 00:39:42.849 forget to subscribe, leave us a review, and share 00:39:42.849 --> 00:39:45.230 it with someone who could use a little networking 00:39:45.230 --> 00:39:48.750 inspiration. Let's keep the conversation going. 00:39:48.949 --> 00:39:53.710 You can find me on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or 00:39:53.710 --> 00:39:56.989 my website, Michael Foreman. Remember, until 00:39:56.989 --> 00:39:59.909 next time, keep practicing, keep connecting, 00:40:00.110 --> 00:40:03.219 and keep building those relationships. This is 00:40:03.219 --> 00:40:06.420 Michael A. Foreman signing off. Take care and 00:40:06.420 --> 00:40:07.179 happy networking.