WEBVTT 00:00:14.089 --> 00:00:17.570 Hello and welcome back to Networking Unleashed, 00:00:17.609 --> 00:00:20.929 Building Profitable Connections. Welcome to the 00:00:20.929 --> 00:00:23.670 show, folks. I'm your host, Michael Foreman, 00:00:23.730 --> 00:00:26.769 and you're listening to the podcast where networking 00:00:26.769 --> 00:00:30.089 is more than just awkward handshakes and bad 00:00:30.089 --> 00:00:33.609 coffee. It's an art and a talent. But here's 00:00:33.609 --> 00:00:36.869 the twist. It's an art and talent you can actually 00:00:36.869 --> 00:00:40.090 learn. Yes, even if you're the person hiding 00:00:40.090 --> 00:00:42.990 in the corner at every event, pretending to check 00:00:42.990 --> 00:00:46.450 emails. Networking isn't just a nice skill to 00:00:46.450 --> 00:00:49.469 have, it's a game changer. When you get good 00:00:49.469 --> 00:00:52.090 at it, you'll wonder why you didn't start sooner. 00:00:52.229 --> 00:00:56.210 More connections, more opportunities, more profits. 00:00:56.390 --> 00:01:00.250 It's like unlocking a cheat code for life. I 00:01:00.250 --> 00:01:04.290 have a very nice guest today. Her name is Kelly 00:01:04.290 --> 00:01:08.739 Sparta, and she's got... A huge background, so 00:01:08.739 --> 00:01:11.659 I don't want to really butcher it, but I will 00:01:11.659 --> 00:01:14.959 just read the first sentence. She's a spiritual 00:01:14.959 --> 00:01:19.099 business coach, transformational shaman, and 00:01:19.099 --> 00:01:22.599 energy healer with 50 years experience in personal 00:01:22.599 --> 00:01:26.939 growth, spiritual practices, and 38 years in 00:01:26.939 --> 00:01:31.159 business. So Kelly, welcome to the show, and 00:01:31.159 --> 00:01:33.359 why don't you give us a little bit of more in 00:01:33.359 --> 00:01:36.150 -depth knowledge of your background. Sure, Michael. 00:01:36.230 --> 00:01:39.510 Thank you for having me. So I'm going to tailor 00:01:39.510 --> 00:01:42.049 this a bit to the people that are listening to 00:01:42.049 --> 00:01:43.969 you because I'm going to do a little bit different 00:01:43.969 --> 00:01:46.989 bio than I usually do because not a lot of people 00:01:46.989 --> 00:01:48.930 know this about me anymore, but I used to be 00:01:48.930 --> 00:01:50.730 a national trainer in the real estate industry. 00:01:51.170 --> 00:01:54.250 And so I've actually got a book out in the marketplace 00:01:54.250 --> 00:01:56.469 called The Consultative Real Estate Agent. I 00:01:56.469 --> 00:01:58.730 did not choose that title. It was terrible. And 00:01:58.730 --> 00:02:02.290 I trained real estate agents for about a decade 00:02:02.290 --> 00:02:06.760 and a half. background in the spiritual world 00:02:06.760 --> 00:02:08.939 is I've been doing this stuff since I was five 00:02:08.939 --> 00:02:10.659 years old. My mom said I was talking to ghosts 00:02:10.659 --> 00:02:14.539 in my crib. And so these days, what I do, and 00:02:14.539 --> 00:02:16.039 you're probably going, what does that have to 00:02:16.039 --> 00:02:18.819 do with networking? I am also a super connector. 00:02:18.979 --> 00:02:21.400 And the work I do these days is very much about 00:02:21.400 --> 00:02:24.259 bringing people into alignment with their purpose 00:02:24.259 --> 00:02:27.620 and their business. And so your purpose is the 00:02:27.620 --> 00:02:30.099 fullest expression of your authentic self. And 00:02:30.099 --> 00:02:32.219 when you are in the fullest expression of your 00:02:32.219 --> 00:02:35.050 authentic self, then you are in alignment. with 00:02:35.050 --> 00:02:38.189 what you're doing. And that alignment creates 00:02:38.189 --> 00:02:41.069 profit because people will be naturally attracted 00:02:41.069 --> 00:02:44.550 to you. And a classic example was back when I 00:02:44.550 --> 00:02:48.229 was selling real estate in the 90s and I came 00:02:48.229 --> 00:02:51.789 out of the spiritual closet, right? I was desperately 00:02:51.789 --> 00:02:54.430 afraid to share what was going on with me. And 00:02:54.430 --> 00:02:58.150 every single client I had at the time was like... 00:02:58.590 --> 00:03:00.870 That's so cool. Did you know about this? Did 00:03:00.870 --> 00:03:02.830 you know about that? Can you tell us the history 00:03:02.830 --> 00:03:04.710 of the house? And does it, is it haunted? And 00:03:04.710 --> 00:03:07.610 all this stuff. It was so great because everybody, 00:03:07.650 --> 00:03:10.129 nobody looked at me like I had three heads. It 00:03:10.129 --> 00:03:13.770 was amazing. And that's just because I was drawing 00:03:13.770 --> 00:03:17.030 in the people that were in alignment with me. 00:03:17.210 --> 00:03:20.069 And nobody was talking about it in the 90s because 00:03:20.069 --> 00:03:22.810 if you talked about it, you were a nut job. And 00:03:22.810 --> 00:03:25.849 now. People are like, oh, you can talk about 00:03:25.849 --> 00:03:28.310 it now, mostly. Mostly. I'm okay with the not 00:03:28.310 --> 00:03:31.650 mostly signs, though. That's okay. But I want 00:03:31.650 --> 00:03:35.389 to, your opening just spoke to me so much. I 00:03:35.389 --> 00:03:37.110 want to jump right into that, if that's okay. 00:03:37.590 --> 00:03:39.939 Absolutely. You talked about people standing 00:03:39.939 --> 00:03:41.819 up against the wall and I want to give you guys 00:03:41.819 --> 00:03:44.960 my favorite trick for networking because I am 00:03:44.960 --> 00:03:48.319 a super connector and I just, I talk to people 00:03:48.319 --> 00:03:51.280 and I know everybody, right? And the reason that 00:03:51.280 --> 00:03:54.139 works for me is because I was a very shy child 00:03:54.139 --> 00:03:58.060 and the military forced me to be less shy or 00:03:58.060 --> 00:04:00.400 have no friends, right? So I learned how to talk 00:04:00.400 --> 00:04:03.379 to people. But the thing that I found most useful 00:04:03.379 --> 00:04:07.400 in networking was to assign myself a role. at 00:04:07.400 --> 00:04:10.580 the event. And it wasn't an official role. It 00:04:10.580 --> 00:04:14.180 was an unofficial role. So however I was feeling, 00:04:14.280 --> 00:04:17.339 which was usually unwelcome, right? However I 00:04:17.339 --> 00:04:19.139 was feeling, I would assume that the other people 00:04:19.139 --> 00:04:21.279 were feeling that way too. And I would designate 00:04:21.279 --> 00:04:24.439 myself the welcome committee. And so anybody 00:04:24.439 --> 00:04:26.639 walking, standing around the outside edges of 00:04:26.639 --> 00:04:29.839 the room, I would walk up and say, Hey, who are 00:04:29.839 --> 00:04:32.360 you? What you doing? How's it going? has, what 00:04:32.360 --> 00:04:34.800 do you do? Talk to me. And then the minute we 00:04:34.800 --> 00:04:37.000 would exchange information and we got to the 00:04:37.000 --> 00:04:38.759 end of our two or three minute conversation, 00:04:38.920 --> 00:04:40.980 which is really the only time you should be spending, 00:04:41.079 --> 00:04:43.959 right? I would say, oh, great. Come with me. 00:04:44.040 --> 00:04:45.819 And I grab them by the hand and I drag them to 00:04:45.819 --> 00:04:48.579 a group of people who were talking and I butt 00:04:48.579 --> 00:04:51.040 into the group of people. And I would say, have 00:04:51.040 --> 00:04:53.720 you met so -and -so? And they, that I would introduce 00:04:53.720 --> 00:04:55.759 them and they would say, that's awesome. They 00:04:55.759 --> 00:04:57.819 would introduce themselves and then they say, 00:04:57.879 --> 00:04:59.480 who are you? And that would give me an excuse 00:04:59.480 --> 00:05:02.759 to be in the circle, right? And so by facilitating 00:05:02.759 --> 00:05:06.139 other people's network, I got to facilitate my 00:05:06.139 --> 00:05:08.439 own. And then when the conversation would die 00:05:08.439 --> 00:05:10.579 down a little bit and people would start to blah, 00:05:10.579 --> 00:05:12.319 blah, blah, and there wasn't anything else to 00:05:12.319 --> 00:05:14.279 say, I'd grab somebody and say, who hasn't been 00:05:14.279 --> 00:05:15.980 around the room? And I'd grab them by the hand 00:05:15.980 --> 00:05:18.279 and walk them over to the next group. And I just, 00:05:18.339 --> 00:05:21.379 that's what I do every time. And it makes it 00:05:21.379 --> 00:05:25.680 so much easier. You hit upon so many points of 00:05:25.680 --> 00:05:28.819 interest that I speak about when I go on stages 00:05:28.819 --> 00:05:32.319 or do workshops in companies. But you really 00:05:32.319 --> 00:05:35.439 spoke about being an extrovert versus an introvert 00:05:35.439 --> 00:05:37.459 and what you have to do and everything else. 00:05:37.519 --> 00:05:40.819 And I go in a lot about that. But that's very 00:05:40.819 --> 00:05:43.939 good what you did and what you picked up on. 00:05:44.139 --> 00:05:46.920 And that was just that was great. You brought 00:05:46.920 --> 00:05:50.050 up the military. Were you in the military? My 00:05:50.050 --> 00:05:52.430 mother and my ex -husband were both military. 00:05:52.689 --> 00:05:55.449 So when we moved down here, I live in Bukete, 00:05:55.449 --> 00:06:00.949 Panama now. This was my 40th move, 4 -0. So yeah, 00:06:01.009 --> 00:06:02.870 if I didn't make friends fast, I didn't make 00:06:02.870 --> 00:06:06.410 friends. Absolutely. No, I spent nine years in 00:06:06.410 --> 00:06:08.509 the Air Force. That's why I asked. You understand. 00:06:08.970 --> 00:06:13.709 I understand completely. Okay, so how about we... 00:06:14.480 --> 00:06:17.740 We go right into this. And how does your spiritual 00:06:17.740 --> 00:06:21.839 background influence your networking approach? 00:06:23.959 --> 00:06:26.540 You're going to love this. So I do, when I go 00:06:26.540 --> 00:06:28.639 networking, I do what I call finding the bright 00:06:28.639 --> 00:06:31.689 and shiny in the room. Okay. I can walk into 00:06:31.689 --> 00:06:34.509 a room and I have walked into a room of 500 people. 00:06:34.889 --> 00:06:38.569 And just what I do is just turn on my extra sensory 00:06:38.569 --> 00:06:40.730 perception. I'm looking at the auras in the room 00:06:40.730 --> 00:06:43.310 and I'm like, who's bright, who's lightened up 00:06:43.310 --> 00:06:46.670 for me. And I go and I talk to them and I actually, 00:06:46.709 --> 00:06:48.970 it's very funny. You're going to, it's hysterical. 00:06:48.990 --> 00:06:52.750 There was this guy and the networking event I 00:06:52.750 --> 00:06:55.269 was at was a, it was a weird one. It was a combination 00:06:55.269 --> 00:07:01.000 singles event. and business networking, which 00:07:01.000 --> 00:07:03.680 was odd. And so this guy, I talked to him and 00:07:03.680 --> 00:07:06.139 he's, you know, help me find somebody. And we 00:07:06.139 --> 00:07:07.740 walked around the room and walked around and 00:07:07.740 --> 00:07:09.060 he's like, how about this one? I'm like, no, 00:07:09.100 --> 00:07:10.920 not that one. Why? And I would tell him why and 00:07:10.920 --> 00:07:12.660 we'd keep going. And finally, I saw somebody 00:07:12.660 --> 00:07:14.920 from across the room. I'm like, her. And he started 00:07:14.920 --> 00:07:17.819 laughing. And I'm like, what? He said, that's 00:07:17.819 --> 00:07:26.769 my wife of 12 years. I'm like, perfect fit. So 00:07:26.769 --> 00:07:30.889 that's the thing is that you're, what you're 00:07:30.889 --> 00:07:33.329 looking for is the bright and shiny. And so I'll 00:07:33.329 --> 00:07:35.930 say this from two perspectives. One is if you're 00:07:35.930 --> 00:07:37.709 in a physical space, you're looking for the person 00:07:37.709 --> 00:07:39.889 who's attracts your attention more than anybody 00:07:39.889 --> 00:07:42.490 else. So you want to sit at the edge of the room, 00:07:42.589 --> 00:07:44.949 not engage with anybody and just allow yourself 00:07:44.949 --> 00:07:50.410 to look over the room and see who you feel like 00:07:50.410 --> 00:07:53.399 you want to go talk to. OK, and it's not an in 00:07:53.399 --> 00:07:55.660 your head feeling. It's an in your body feeling. 00:07:55.779 --> 00:07:58.939 It's a right with that energy. And then the other 00:07:58.939 --> 00:08:02.660 side of it from a networking perspective is it's 00:08:02.660 --> 00:08:04.860 also from a prospecting perspective, because 00:08:04.860 --> 00:08:07.019 I used to use this all the time in my real estate 00:08:07.019 --> 00:08:11.040 practice. Anytime somebody's name would come 00:08:11.040 --> 00:08:12.819 to mind that I hadn't thought of in a while, 00:08:12.959 --> 00:08:14.980 I would pick up the phone immediately and call 00:08:14.980 --> 00:08:17.360 them and they would always be getting ready to 00:08:17.360 --> 00:08:20.639 put their house on the market. Really? Yeah. 00:08:21.149 --> 00:08:24.170 So I called that intuitive prospecting. Okay. 00:08:24.230 --> 00:08:27.629 That's intuitive prospecting. Okay. How do you 00:08:27.629 --> 00:08:33.389 align networking efforts with your soul's permission? 00:08:34.070 --> 00:08:41.009 Your soul. So when you're networking, so networking 00:08:41.009 --> 00:08:43.909 is all about finding the connections to the clients 00:08:43.909 --> 00:08:48.009 that you want, right? Absolutely. And so it's 00:08:48.009 --> 00:08:51.960 very much about. being in alignment with that 00:08:51.960 --> 00:08:54.740 person. It's less about the networking and more 00:08:54.740 --> 00:08:57.919 about the target marketing, right? So you need 00:08:57.919 --> 00:09:01.080 to be really clear that you're in alignment with 00:09:01.080 --> 00:09:02.700 your target market. I actually just talked to 00:09:02.700 --> 00:09:04.919 somebody earlier today who's doing some consulting 00:09:04.919 --> 00:09:07.379 work. She's working with people on Wall Street 00:09:07.379 --> 00:09:10.419 and she comes from Wall Street and that's great 00:09:10.419 --> 00:09:12.440 and it's making her money, but she's not in alignment. 00:09:12.639 --> 00:09:15.220 It's not, doesn't make her soul sing. So she's 00:09:15.220 --> 00:09:17.779 looking for the next thing. And so the thing 00:09:17.779 --> 00:09:20.519 that you have to be clear on is what makes your 00:09:20.519 --> 00:09:22.539 soul sing? What is it that you're excited about? 00:09:22.600 --> 00:09:25.340 The reason I was so happy in real estate is because 00:09:25.340 --> 00:09:29.320 at my heart, I am the person who stands at the 00:09:29.320 --> 00:09:32.200 threshold of initiation from one identity to 00:09:32.200 --> 00:09:35.899 the next. And real estate, when you move, you 00:09:35.899 --> 00:09:38.580 change identity in a lot of ways. And so it was 00:09:38.580 --> 00:09:41.220 in alignment with who I was at my core, right? 00:09:41.519 --> 00:09:45.379 You have to... Be clear about who you are and 00:09:45.379 --> 00:09:47.399 what's important to you and what your values 00:09:47.399 --> 00:09:49.620 are. Make sure you're living by your values and 00:09:49.620 --> 00:09:51.639 not your parents' values because otherwise that's 00:09:51.639 --> 00:09:55.559 a recipe for misery. And then you can come about 00:09:55.559 --> 00:09:58.299 that and say, okay, now I'm clear on who it is 00:09:58.299 --> 00:10:01.600 I want to talk to. Now I need to find the intuitive 00:10:01.600 --> 00:10:04.220 connections and the networking connections that 00:10:04.220 --> 00:10:08.200 get me there. And that is also about connecting 00:10:08.200 --> 00:10:11.590 with people with similar values. Right. So I 00:10:11.590 --> 00:10:14.509 just had a guy on my podcast. I've got a spiritual 00:10:14.509 --> 00:10:17.090 podcast called Spirit Sherpa. And I just had 00:10:17.090 --> 00:10:21.309 a guy on who was a financial manager. And why 00:10:21.309 --> 00:10:23.450 would you have a financial manager on a spiritual 00:10:23.450 --> 00:10:25.490 podcast, which normally I would never do. But 00:10:25.490 --> 00:10:28.350 the guy's so aligned. He's heart centered. He's 00:10:28.350 --> 00:10:30.490 aligned. It's all about purpose. It's all about 00:10:30.490 --> 00:10:32.690 it. I'm like, yes, I want my people to know that. 00:10:32.750 --> 00:10:35.409 Right. But it's all about finding the alignment 00:10:35.409 --> 00:10:40.169 and values. I had somebody on my podcast. His 00:10:40.169 --> 00:10:44.090 main thing is a servant's heart. And his main 00:10:44.090 --> 00:10:48.049 goal is just to give and help and everything. 00:10:48.169 --> 00:10:53.269 And he is so on point with everything. And you 00:10:53.269 --> 00:10:56.330 can tell that it's genuine just by the way that 00:10:56.330 --> 00:11:00.149 he speaks. So I understand that completely. How 00:11:00.149 --> 00:11:02.649 do you balance building profitable connections? 00:11:03.629 --> 00:11:06.289 while staying true to your spiritual values. 00:11:07.529 --> 00:11:13.090 You can't let your pocketbook dictate your actions, 00:11:13.389 --> 00:11:17.330 okay? Hard to do. Yeah, I see this all the time 00:11:17.330 --> 00:11:19.769 in the real estate world and mortgages where... 00:11:20.159 --> 00:11:22.360 They'll prospect, end up with a ton of business 00:11:22.360 --> 00:11:24.399 and then they don't prospect and then they end 00:11:24.399 --> 00:11:26.179 up with no business. And then they have to, they 00:11:26.179 --> 00:11:27.779 up and down and up and down and up and down. 00:11:27.840 --> 00:11:30.360 And at the bottom of that cycle, inevitably they 00:11:30.360 --> 00:11:32.200 will pick up somebody who will make them miserable 00:11:32.200 --> 00:11:35.139 and who will take all their time and all their 00:11:35.139 --> 00:11:38.120 energy and give them nothing in return and probably 00:11:38.120 --> 00:11:41.759 not even buy. And that's where things go south 00:11:41.759 --> 00:11:44.620 as you can, the better you can take care of yourself 00:11:44.620 --> 00:11:48.259 by creating consistency in your business, by 00:11:48.259 --> 00:11:50.509 automating your system. so that your marketing 00:11:50.509 --> 00:11:52.590 goes out consistently without you having to touch 00:11:52.590 --> 00:11:55.370 it and making sure that the business keeps coming 00:11:55.370 --> 00:11:58.070 in even when you're busy. The more you can do 00:11:58.070 --> 00:12:00.330 that, the less likely you are to make those bad 00:12:00.330 --> 00:12:03.830 decisions. Now, if you happen to be in that position 00:12:03.830 --> 00:12:07.070 where you're like, money isn't there, I gotta 00:12:07.070 --> 00:12:10.070 pay the bills, taxes are coming, whatever, then 00:12:10.070 --> 00:12:14.179 you have to... You have to center yourself and 00:12:14.179 --> 00:12:17.259 you have to trust. You have to go back into your 00:12:17.259 --> 00:12:20.460 knowledge base of saying, look, there has always 00:12:20.460 --> 00:12:24.019 been money there. There will be money there again. 00:12:24.120 --> 00:12:26.399 I have not been doing the things I was supposed 00:12:26.399 --> 00:12:29.019 to do to get the money in the door. All I have 00:12:29.019 --> 00:12:32.340 to do is breathe. It'll be fine. And I'm going 00:12:32.340 --> 00:12:34.240 to trust that the universe is going to send me 00:12:34.240 --> 00:12:37.179 something, somebody who is perfect, who is going 00:12:37.179 --> 00:12:40.580 to be easy and profitable and grateful and send 00:12:40.580 --> 00:12:43.990 me lots of referrals. And then instead of acting 00:12:43.990 --> 00:12:46.970 out of panic, you sit down, get centered and 00:12:46.970 --> 00:12:49.450 just open your mind and say, okay, who needs 00:12:49.450 --> 00:12:52.950 to hear from me? And open your mind to all of 00:12:52.950 --> 00:12:54.990 your past clients, all of the people you know, 00:12:55.029 --> 00:12:58.009 and see whose name pops up and call them and 00:12:58.009 --> 00:13:00.169 see why they need to talk to you. Now, sometimes 00:13:00.169 --> 00:13:03.570 it'll be business and sometimes it won't. Sometimes 00:13:03.570 --> 00:13:06.070 it'll be a referral. Sometimes it'll just be 00:13:06.070 --> 00:13:07.990 a social call, but they'll remember you two weeks 00:13:07.990 --> 00:13:09.669 from now when they have a conversation with somebody 00:13:09.669 --> 00:13:12.769 else. You never know. Right. But you got to trust 00:13:12.769 --> 00:13:16.370 what shows up. Yeah, there's a I was in the mortgage 00:13:16.370 --> 00:13:19.330 industry for 10 years. So I really understand 00:13:19.330 --> 00:13:23.750 that we had a system to keep yourself in front 00:13:23.750 --> 00:13:27.549 of all of your clients, your past clients. So, 00:13:27.649 --> 00:13:31.169 you know, it goes along that way. But I learned 00:13:31.169 --> 00:13:34.850 a very valuable lesson. I learned how to fire 00:13:34.850 --> 00:13:41.340 my clients. Yes. OK. Yes. I fired them and they're 00:13:41.340 --> 00:13:43.620 always so, what do you mean you don't want to 00:13:43.620 --> 00:13:45.960 work with me? You're so difficult and everything 00:13:45.960 --> 00:13:48.019 else. It's better that you work with somebody 00:13:48.019 --> 00:13:50.960 else because honestly, I won't have the patience 00:13:50.960 --> 00:13:53.559 to do it. But that's, I had to learn that the 00:13:53.559 --> 00:13:57.080 hard way. The very hard way. Happiest places 00:13:57.080 --> 00:14:01.019 were the people I fired. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. 00:14:01.059 --> 00:14:06.309 You were making me crazy. Okay, so. What's your 00:14:06.309 --> 00:14:10.789 top tip for networking authentically in the business 00:14:10.789 --> 00:14:16.629 world? So the one thing that I see happen a lot 00:14:16.629 --> 00:14:19.169 with people who are out there networking is that 00:14:19.169 --> 00:14:21.210 they're so busy pitching, they're not listening. 00:14:22.269 --> 00:14:27.519 Active listening. Yeah, active listening. It's 00:14:27.519 --> 00:14:29.360 great to want to go out and talk about yourself. 00:14:29.440 --> 00:14:31.320 And I am the queen of talking about myself. Look 00:14:31.320 --> 00:14:34.840 at me here. But you really, before you can tell 00:14:34.840 --> 00:14:37.059 anybody anything about what you do, you first 00:14:37.059 --> 00:14:38.740 need to understand who they are and what they 00:14:38.740 --> 00:14:41.379 need. Because I don't know about you, but I got 00:14:41.379 --> 00:14:44.460 toolkits mile wide and 20 miles deep. So if I 00:14:44.460 --> 00:14:46.059 talk about everything I do, we'll be here for 00:14:46.059 --> 00:14:49.100 several hours and you'll be bored. I need to 00:14:49.100 --> 00:14:51.460 find out what's going on with them. And so I 00:14:51.460 --> 00:14:54.220 might give a one liner that's just enough to 00:14:54.220 --> 00:14:57.200 get people interested. When you're in an industry 00:14:57.200 --> 00:15:00.379 like real estate or mortgage or insurance, there's 00:15:00.379 --> 00:15:02.299 a lot of people who are probably at the same 00:15:02.299 --> 00:15:04.200 event as you who are in real estate, mortgage 00:15:04.200 --> 00:15:06.360 and insurance. And I used to run these groups 00:15:06.360 --> 00:15:09.299 in Boston and that was 90 % of the room. that 00:15:09.299 --> 00:15:11.860 those four categories and financial planner in 00:15:11.860 --> 00:15:13.980 there too, right? The four categories were the 00:15:13.980 --> 00:15:16.700 most people in the room. So how do you make yourself 00:15:16.700 --> 00:15:19.120 sound different? So that's the first thing is 00:15:19.120 --> 00:15:21.659 you're like, okay, my differentiation is I am 00:15:21.659 --> 00:15:25.299 the goddess of real estate or I am the queen 00:15:25.299 --> 00:15:28.980 of making happy change or something, right? Something 00:15:28.980 --> 00:15:30.879 just enough that people go, what's that? And 00:15:30.879 --> 00:15:32.580 then you can talk about yourself. But I generally, 00:15:32.659 --> 00:15:35.299 I start with them. I start with saying, who are 00:15:35.299 --> 00:15:37.320 you and what are you doing? What's going on for 00:15:37.320 --> 00:15:39.570 you? Because that's the first thing I'm going 00:15:39.570 --> 00:15:41.470 to do. The second thing I'm going to do is say, 00:15:41.610 --> 00:15:45.070 who do I know that I can connect with? Okay. 00:15:45.210 --> 00:15:49.350 Now here's a super connectors, very hard one 00:15:49.350 --> 00:15:52.129 piece of information. Do not commit yourself 00:15:52.129 --> 00:15:55.830 to following up with them. Make the offer. Tell 00:15:55.830 --> 00:15:57.429 them that you're happy to give it to them. Hand 00:15:57.429 --> 00:15:59.429 out a card and say, if you send me an email, 00:15:59.549 --> 00:16:02.169 I'll give you the information. Because 99 times 00:16:02.169 --> 00:16:05.330 out of 100, they do not send you an email. And 00:16:05.330 --> 00:16:07.529 if you are the one who has to follow up with 00:16:07.529 --> 00:16:09.350 them every time, you'll be spending two or three 00:16:09.350 --> 00:16:11.990 hours after every event following up with all 00:16:11.990 --> 00:16:13.690 the people that you promised something to who 00:16:13.690 --> 00:16:15.929 never will read it, never will appreciate it, 00:16:15.950 --> 00:16:18.990 never will do anything with it. So say, I'm happy 00:16:18.990 --> 00:16:21.659 to help you here. Here's my card. Please follow 00:16:21.659 --> 00:16:24.019 up and I'll give you the information. And then 00:16:24.019 --> 00:16:27.940 after I've known about them, given them something, 00:16:28.039 --> 00:16:31.539 then I will offer them information about me because 00:16:31.539 --> 00:16:35.580 the social contract is if I give you something, 00:16:35.720 --> 00:16:38.899 you should give me something in return. And in 00:16:38.899 --> 00:16:41.200 this case, it's your attention and maybe your 00:16:41.200 --> 00:16:45.610 referral or your business. The first thing that 00:16:45.610 --> 00:16:49.389 the networking rule is when you go to a networking 00:16:49.389 --> 00:16:53.909 event, you look to give, not to receive. So when 00:16:53.909 --> 00:16:57.210 you're asking that other person all about them, 00:16:57.590 --> 00:17:00.970 there's a methodology we use. It's called form, 00:17:01.129 --> 00:17:04.309 family, occupation, recreation, and a message. 00:17:04.609 --> 00:17:08.390 And that's all to build up the rapport so that 00:17:08.390 --> 00:17:10.849 you can, when you walk up to somebody, because 00:17:10.849 --> 00:17:14.099 you think of that before you. Speak with them. 00:17:14.279 --> 00:17:16.619 And you have them talk about themselves because 00:17:16.619 --> 00:17:19.819 you know as well as I do, people love to talk 00:17:19.819 --> 00:17:23.319 about themselves. They do. So you let them. But 00:17:23.319 --> 00:17:26.440 you end the conversation with, you know what? 00:17:26.539 --> 00:17:29.359 I like you. I like what you do. I like how you 00:17:29.359 --> 00:17:33.519 do it. How can I make you more successful? How 00:17:33.519 --> 00:17:36.319 can I be a good referral source for you? And 00:17:36.319 --> 00:17:39.279 this is before you even say what you did. And 00:17:39.279 --> 00:17:40.859 that usually blows them out of the water and 00:17:40.859 --> 00:17:43.380 everything is good after that. So that's just 00:17:43.380 --> 00:17:46.759 a little bit, a little tidbit. Which spiritual 00:17:46.759 --> 00:17:51.500 principles have you found most effective in building 00:17:51.500 --> 00:17:57.680 meaningful business relationships? Non -judgment 00:17:57.680 --> 00:18:02.240 is the single most useful one. Because everyone 00:18:02.240 --> 00:18:05.079 lives in fear of being judged because they spend 00:18:05.079 --> 00:18:07.240 their whole lives judging themselves and projecting 00:18:07.240 --> 00:18:10.440 that judgment onto others. And so when you can 00:18:10.440 --> 00:18:13.319 stand in a place where absolutely nothing that 00:18:13.319 --> 00:18:16.960 comes out of anybody's mouth is judged, and that's 00:18:16.960 --> 00:18:19.180 true whether you're talking to the person themselves 00:18:19.180 --> 00:18:22.180 or talking about someone else. Because if you're 00:18:22.180 --> 00:18:23.559 going to judge somebody else, they're going to 00:18:23.559 --> 00:18:26.779 assume you're going to judge them. So non -judgment, 00:18:26.859 --> 00:18:29.619 if you can stay out of judgment and stay in a 00:18:29.619 --> 00:18:33.759 compassionate, open -hearted space, then people 00:18:33.759 --> 00:18:37.000 will trust you at a much higher level and a deeper 00:18:37.000 --> 00:18:39.640 level. And they are more likely to refer to you 00:18:39.640 --> 00:18:44.460 because they trust you. Know you, like you, trust 00:18:44.460 --> 00:18:47.119 you, they'll do business with you. That's the 00:18:47.119 --> 00:18:50.160 mantra of networking. And it's true no matter 00:18:50.160 --> 00:18:52.640 how you slice it. It really is. But what you 00:18:52.640 --> 00:18:55.740 said is so real. Can you share a networking challenge 00:18:55.740 --> 00:18:59.599 that you faced as a spiritual entrepreneur and 00:18:59.599 --> 00:19:04.500 how you overcame it? Yes, I can definitely do 00:19:04.500 --> 00:19:08.359 that. I made the mistake of joining a BNI group 00:19:08.359 --> 00:19:11.700 when I was promoting myself as the business shaman. 00:19:11.880 --> 00:19:16.619 And that BNI group. had zero referrals for me. 00:19:16.680 --> 00:19:19.960 They were not at all interested in anything I 00:19:19.960 --> 00:19:22.079 was doing. They, in fact, looked at me like I 00:19:22.079 --> 00:19:26.640 was a nut job. This was about 2006, 2007. And 00:19:26.640 --> 00:19:29.700 the way I solved it is I left the group and found 00:19:29.700 --> 00:19:36.220 Better Shores. And BNI, it's either you have 00:19:36.220 --> 00:19:39.680 it, what everybody's interested in, or nothing. 00:19:39.900 --> 00:19:42.279 Yeah. And you don't get anything. So that's the 00:19:42.279 --> 00:19:45.470 way BNI... works, but I completely understand 00:19:45.470 --> 00:19:49.710 what you're saying. How do you create mutual 00:19:49.710 --> 00:19:53.910 value in networking while honoring your spiritual 00:19:53.910 --> 00:19:59.049 beliefs? I don't know that there's a conflict 00:19:59.049 --> 00:20:02.190 with my spiritual beliefs or my spiritual assumptions 00:20:02.190 --> 00:20:05.549 about life with any networking. The only difference 00:20:05.549 --> 00:20:08.309 would be that I don't network with people I don't 00:20:08.309 --> 00:20:11.619 like. It's a good thing, isn't it? Yeah. If you're 00:20:11.619 --> 00:20:12.920 not going to like them, then you're not going 00:20:12.920 --> 00:20:14.500 to send them business. And if you don't like 00:20:14.500 --> 00:20:15.980 them, the clients they get, aren't going to like 00:20:15.980 --> 00:20:18.059 you either. There's really no point in being 00:20:18.059 --> 00:20:21.420 there, but to get to a certain point and really 00:20:21.420 --> 00:20:24.619 in our, with our ages, we've gotten to a certain 00:20:24.619 --> 00:20:27.339 point where, you know what? I don't like you. 00:20:27.380 --> 00:20:30.180 I don't have to deal with you rather than just 00:20:30.180 --> 00:20:32.980 starting out. And we're like, I'm going to take 00:20:32.980 --> 00:20:35.119 everybody. I don't care. I'm disliking whatever. 00:20:35.599 --> 00:20:37.859 I would not recommend that. Even when you're 00:20:37.859 --> 00:20:40.240 younger, you're going to beat your head against 00:20:40.240 --> 00:20:41.660 the wall and you're going to be, you're going 00:20:41.660 --> 00:20:43.839 to feel rejected and miserable all the time because 00:20:43.839 --> 00:20:46.079 the people that you don't like you, and then 00:20:46.079 --> 00:20:48.059 you're going to feel rejected. And why would 00:20:48.059 --> 00:20:50.460 you do that to yourself? Just see, if I knew 00:20:50.460 --> 00:20:54.240 us a hundred years ago, I wouldn't have, I would 00:20:54.240 --> 00:20:56.799 look like this. Okay. Because I beat myself up 00:20:56.799 --> 00:21:03.009 against the wall. What mindfulness practices 00:21:03.009 --> 00:21:06.430 do you incorporate into your networking strategy? 00:21:09.250 --> 00:21:12.170 So networking these days for me is a little different. 00:21:12.230 --> 00:21:14.549 So I'm going to actually jump into online networking 00:21:14.549 --> 00:21:17.750 to have that conversation because I live in Boquete, 00:21:17.750 --> 00:21:20.609 Panama, but my market is in the U .S. And so 00:21:20.609 --> 00:21:23.819 all of my networking these days is online. And 00:21:23.819 --> 00:21:27.799 so the first thing that I'm doing is I am researching 00:21:27.799 --> 00:21:30.579 people before I talk to them. Everybody and their 00:21:30.579 --> 00:21:33.079 brother wants some of my time right now. Every 00:21:33.079 --> 00:21:34.640 time I turn around, somebody's, oh, let's hop 00:21:34.640 --> 00:21:37.220 on a networking call. And I'm like. I've got 00:21:37.220 --> 00:21:40.980 12 calls this week and I've got four podcasts 00:21:40.980 --> 00:21:43.579 and I have to actually get some work done at 00:21:43.579 --> 00:21:45.900 some point. And you have to recognize, especially 00:21:45.900 --> 00:21:48.640 if you're talking to somebody who's busier, the 00:21:48.640 --> 00:21:50.759 more successful someone is, the more you have 00:21:50.759 --> 00:21:54.220 to justify the reason for the call and the more 00:21:54.220 --> 00:21:56.160 you need to honor the time that they give you. 00:21:56.359 --> 00:21:58.619 whether it's 15 minutes or an hour and a half. 00:21:58.720 --> 00:22:01.420 If I'm giving you more than 15 minutes of my 00:22:01.420 --> 00:22:03.700 time at this point in my career for networking, 00:22:04.000 --> 00:22:06.519 it's because I feel like there's something to 00:22:06.519 --> 00:22:08.880 be had here. I don't call people just to talk 00:22:08.880 --> 00:22:12.200 to people at this stage. And a lot of that's 00:22:12.200 --> 00:22:13.680 just because I don't want to be on the computer 00:22:13.680 --> 00:22:16.529 all the time. And so this is about aligning my 00:22:16.529 --> 00:22:20.009 level of need to have time away from the computer. 00:22:20.150 --> 00:22:23.789 And this is about balancing for myself. So it's 00:22:23.789 --> 00:22:26.210 not actually about the networking. It's about 00:22:26.210 --> 00:22:30.210 the time management for myself around networking. 00:22:30.430 --> 00:22:34.470 Because if you go to a new networking event online, 00:22:35.309 --> 00:22:37.529 Give it one or two tries. If you don't get anything 00:22:37.529 --> 00:22:40.369 out of it, move on, go to something else. If 00:22:40.369 --> 00:22:42.250 you're not coming in, especially if it's like 00:22:42.250 --> 00:22:44.049 a two hour event, I went to a two hour event 00:22:44.049 --> 00:22:47.170 two weeks ago, got zero out of it. I've got another 00:22:47.170 --> 00:22:49.589 one coming up tomorrow. If nothing comes out 00:22:49.589 --> 00:22:51.430 of that one, I will not be going back to that 00:22:51.430 --> 00:22:54.509 event. It's very much about honoring your own 00:22:54.509 --> 00:22:58.390 energy levels and knowing what you can and cannot 00:22:58.390 --> 00:23:02.150 do. Because the problem is that, especially when 00:23:02.150 --> 00:23:03.990 you're working one -on -one with people, if you 00:23:03.990 --> 00:23:07.009 start to burn out, they will feel that and cancel 00:23:07.009 --> 00:23:09.710 their appointments with you. That has happened 00:23:09.710 --> 00:23:13.170 to so many people I know because they get burned 00:23:13.170 --> 00:23:15.930 out and they're like. want to have any calls 00:23:15.930 --> 00:23:18.009 today and suddenly the calls are just dropping 00:23:18.009 --> 00:23:20.190 like flies and you're like oh but i needed that 00:23:20.190 --> 00:23:22.450 business and that's problematic so you really 00:23:22.450 --> 00:23:25.289 do have to manage your own energy really well 00:23:25.289 --> 00:23:27.789 and make sure that you have a clear agenda for 00:23:27.789 --> 00:23:30.730 the conversation that you're having even if it's 00:23:30.730 --> 00:23:33.269 a hey i really like what you do let's learn about 00:23:33.269 --> 00:23:36.130 each other that is a clear agenda but the hey 00:23:36.130 --> 00:23:38.210 let's just jump on a call because we happen to 00:23:38.210 --> 00:23:40.569 jump and there's no value there and don't lie 00:23:40.569 --> 00:23:42.250 to people about why you're setting the meeting 00:23:42.250 --> 00:23:45.740 by the way because they know Right? Of course 00:23:45.740 --> 00:23:48.519 they know. But you have to have, there has to 00:23:48.519 --> 00:23:51.960 be a goal for the call. There has to be a reason. 00:23:52.019 --> 00:23:54.099 Unless it's just a friend of yours that you want 00:23:54.099 --> 00:23:57.119 to catch up with. But if you're in business, 00:23:57.380 --> 00:24:00.539 there has to be a little structure, a goal for 00:24:00.539 --> 00:24:02.579 the end of the conversation. There's got to be 00:24:02.579 --> 00:24:05.720 a reason why you spoke. So that's all comes with 00:24:05.720 --> 00:24:09.200 it. How do you attract and identify networking 00:24:09.200 --> 00:24:12.880 opportunities that align with your spiritual 00:24:12.880 --> 00:24:17.039 and business goals? You're going to laugh again. 00:24:17.140 --> 00:24:20.640 I see so many things come across my desk and 00:24:20.640 --> 00:24:24.619 so many opportunities. And for me, a lot of it 00:24:24.619 --> 00:24:29.480 is simply. just feeling into it if i so your 00:24:29.480 --> 00:24:32.799 body knows what is good for you and what isn't 00:24:32.799 --> 00:24:35.700 your body can feel into the energy of what's 00:24:35.700 --> 00:24:38.319 going on in the room and so if you get your head 00:24:38.319 --> 00:24:40.920 out of the way and just close your eyes and put 00:24:40.920 --> 00:24:43.619 the idea of going to that on the table don't 00:24:43.619 --> 00:24:46.200 think about it just put the concept of it on 00:24:46.200 --> 00:24:48.279 the table and then listen to your body if your 00:24:48.279 --> 00:24:52.259 body goes then you go if your body goes then 00:24:52.259 --> 00:24:55.950 you don't if your body goes then I usually don't 00:24:55.950 --> 00:24:59.430 go. An eh is not enough for my time. For somebody 00:24:59.430 --> 00:25:01.509 just getting started, an eh might be useful, 00:25:01.650 --> 00:25:04.750 right? It might be. You're absolutely right. 00:25:04.849 --> 00:25:08.710 But again, it's because of where we are in our 00:25:08.710 --> 00:25:12.670 venture. You don't have time for stupid people. 00:25:13.009 --> 00:25:18.369 I don't have time for this. That's true. That's 00:25:18.369 --> 00:25:20.950 true. That's true. Who don't have anything to 00:25:20.950 --> 00:25:24.150 offer me and who I probably don't have anything 00:25:24.150 --> 00:25:26.869 to offer. If it's not a fit, I don't have time 00:25:26.869 --> 00:25:31.009 for non -fits. Yeah. Okay. You're not wrong. 00:25:31.049 --> 00:25:35.509 Bringing this full circle, how do you see networking 00:25:35.509 --> 00:25:39.170 evolving for the spiritual entrepreneurs in the 00:25:39.170 --> 00:25:43.549 coming years? Oh, what a great question. See, 00:25:43.650 --> 00:25:46.309 here's the thing. When I work with spiritual 00:25:46.309 --> 00:25:49.789 entrepreneurs, and what I'm saying is people 00:25:49.789 --> 00:25:52.990 who are teaching spirituality and doing spiritual 00:25:52.990 --> 00:25:56.670 services and things, the biggest challenge that 00:25:56.670 --> 00:26:00.170 they have is that they are tech -phobic. And 00:26:00.170 --> 00:26:02.690 they really don't want to be running a business 00:26:02.690 --> 00:26:06.009 90 % of the time. And the reason that they are 00:26:06.009 --> 00:26:07.549 running a business is because there's nobody 00:26:07.549 --> 00:26:10.390 who can employ them. And so if they could get 00:26:10.390 --> 00:26:13.130 a job doing it, they would. And so that's the 00:26:13.130 --> 00:26:15.329 biggest challenge for them right now. And so 00:26:15.329 --> 00:26:18.609 in the coming years, I think that anybody who 00:26:18.609 --> 00:26:22.789 can translate tech is going to be greatly in 00:26:22.789 --> 00:26:26.349 demand for them. And anybody who can help them 00:26:26.349 --> 00:26:29.849 use AI is going to be greatly in demand for them. 00:26:30.250 --> 00:26:34.650 And in terms of their networking, one of the 00:26:34.650 --> 00:26:40.609 first rules of networking is how do you Find, 00:26:40.710 --> 00:26:43.609 go to the places where your clients are going 00:26:43.609 --> 00:26:46.130 to be, right? Or the people who have your clients 00:26:46.130 --> 00:26:48.150 are going to be one or the other, right? Or both, 00:26:48.250 --> 00:26:51.930 ideally. And they need to be able to find those 00:26:51.930 --> 00:26:54.609 venues. So when I left the BNI, I actually switched 00:26:54.609 --> 00:26:58.410 to a different group that was entirely made up 00:26:58.410 --> 00:27:02.849 of people in that wellness market. And that was 00:27:02.849 --> 00:27:06.109 slightly more useful, but not terribly more useful 00:27:06.109 --> 00:27:09.230 because they still had sort of poverty mindset. 00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:12.680 And so when you're surrounding yourself, don't 00:27:12.680 --> 00:27:14.680 surround yourself with people with poverty mindsets 00:27:14.680 --> 00:27:16.500 is what I'm going to say, because your income 00:27:16.500 --> 00:27:18.259 is the average of the 10 people you spend the 00:27:18.259 --> 00:27:23.000 most time with. You have to realize that you 00:27:23.000 --> 00:27:26.319 are who you surround yourself with. And I used 00:27:26.319 --> 00:27:29.319 to think that, no, that's not the way it goes, 00:27:29.420 --> 00:27:33.500 but it actually is the way it goes. And that 00:27:33.500 --> 00:27:36.059 10 is a good number. You take the 10 people that 00:27:36.059 --> 00:27:39.119 you surround yourself with. Look at them because 00:27:39.119 --> 00:27:42.079 that's pretty much where you are. That's very 00:27:42.079 --> 00:27:46.160 insightful. Kelly, this was great. I got to tell 00:27:46.160 --> 00:27:48.680 you, this was a great podcast. I can probably 00:27:48.680 --> 00:27:52.519 talk to you for another two hours. But if anybody 00:27:52.519 --> 00:27:55.980 wants to get hold of you, either to be coached, 00:27:55.980 --> 00:27:58.440 to figure a website or whatever the case may 00:27:58.440 --> 00:28:01.720 be, I'm going to get hold of you. Yes, my website 00:28:01.720 --> 00:28:04.740 is kellysparta .com. Like you see on the screen, 00:28:04.799 --> 00:28:08.259 it's K -E -L -L -E. There is no I, no other E, 00:28:08.359 --> 00:28:11.000 no other Y, just K -E -L -L -E. Yes, my mother 00:28:11.000 --> 00:28:14.200 was phonetically stupid. kellysparta .com. And 00:28:14.200 --> 00:28:17.539 my podcast is Spirit Sherpa. So you can find 00:28:17.539 --> 00:28:20.299 Spirit Sherpa on any podcast player. Or if you 00:28:20.299 --> 00:28:23.079 don't know how to do a podcast player, one, learn 00:28:23.079 --> 00:28:26.900 some tech. And two, it's at spiritsherpapodcast 00:28:26.900 --> 00:28:30.680 .com. Like I said, my people are tech phobics. 00:28:32.519 --> 00:28:36.240 Okay. Okay. Very good, Kelly. And I look forward 00:28:36.240 --> 00:28:39.000 to talking with you in the future. Thank you. 00:28:39.619 --> 00:28:42.819 Well, hold on, folks. Don't go anywhere. Let 00:28:42.819 --> 00:28:45.000 me just read a few of our sponsors that we have. 00:28:45.819 --> 00:28:48.380 Struggling to reach success? Maybe it's time 00:28:48.380 --> 00:28:52.480 to quit. In Quit Your Way to Success. by Rodney 00:28:52.480 --> 00:28:56.359 Davis. This reveals 27 steps to breaking bad 00:28:56.359 --> 00:28:59.420 habits that hold you back. This powerful book 00:28:59.420 --> 00:29:03.160 helps you rewire your mindset, take control of 00:29:03.160 --> 00:29:05.920 your actions, and turn setbacks into stepping 00:29:05.920 --> 00:29:09.099 stones. With real -life examples, motivational 00:29:09.099 --> 00:29:13.160 quotes, and actionable lessons, especially for 00:29:13.160 --> 00:29:15.400 sales professionals, you'll gain the tools to 00:29:15.400 --> 00:29:18.700 quit what's stopping you and start winning. Transform 00:29:18.700 --> 00:29:21.980 your future today. So Quit Your Way to Success 00:29:21.980 --> 00:29:26.900 by Rodney Davis, available now on Amazon. And 00:29:26.900 --> 00:29:30.500 this is a nonprofit called Revved Up Kids. This 00:29:30.500 --> 00:29:33.759 is something I believe in wholeheartedly. Revved 00:29:33.759 --> 00:29:36.940 Up Kids is on a mission to protect children and 00:29:36.940 --> 00:29:40.779 teens from sexual abuse, exploitation, and trafficking. 00:29:41.019 --> 00:29:43.680 They provide prevention training programs for 00:29:43.680 --> 00:29:47.349 children. teens, and adults. To learn more, go 00:29:47.349 --> 00:29:52.210 to revvedupkids .org. That's R -E -V -V -E -D 00:29:52.210 --> 00:29:59.410 -U -P -K -I -D -S .org. Well, that's a wrap, 00:29:59.470 --> 00:30:02.329 folks. A huge thank you to our special guests 00:30:02.329 --> 00:30:05.670 for sharing such incredible insights today. And 00:30:05.670 --> 00:30:09.049 of course, a big shout out to you, our amazing 00:30:09.049 --> 00:30:12.009 listeners, for tuning in and spending your time 00:30:12.009 --> 00:30:15.880 with us. Remember, networking isn't about being 00:30:15.880 --> 00:30:19.220 perfect. It's about being present. So take what 00:30:19.220 --> 00:30:21.799 you've learned today, get out there, and make 00:30:21.799 --> 00:30:24.799 some meaningful connections. If you enjoyed this 00:30:24.799 --> 00:30:27.759 episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave us 00:30:27.759 --> 00:30:30.400 a review, and share it with someone who could 00:30:30.400 --> 00:30:33.700 use a little networking inspiration. Let's keep 00:30:33.700 --> 00:30:37.400 the conversation going. You can find me on Apple, 00:30:37.539 --> 00:30:41.880 Spotify, YouTube, or my website, Michael. Remember. 00:30:42.430 --> 00:30:45.809 Until next time, keep practicing, keep connecting, 00:30:45.930 --> 00:30:49.109 and keep building those relationships. This is 00:30:49.109 --> 00:30:52.309 Michael signing off. Take care and happy networking.