Hello and welcome back to Networking Unleashed,
Building Profitable Connections. Welcome to the
show, folks. I'm your host, Michael Foreman,
and you're listening to the podcast where networking
is more than just awkward handshakes and bad
coffee. It's an art and a talent. But here's
the twist. It's an art and talent you can actually
learn. Yes, even if you're the person hiding
in the corner at every event, pretending to check
emails. Networking isn't just a nice skill to
have, it's a game changer. When you get good
at it, you'll wonder why you didn't start sooner.
More connections, more opportunities, more profits.
It's like unlocking a cheat code for life. I
have a very nice guest today. Her name is Kelly
Sparta, and she's got... A huge background, so
I don't want to really butcher it, but I will
just read the first sentence. She's a spiritual
business coach, transformational shaman, and
energy healer with 50 years experience in personal
growth, spiritual practices, and 38 years in
business. So Kelly, welcome to the show, and
why don't you give us a little bit of more in
-depth knowledge of your background. Sure, Michael.
Thank you for having me. So I'm going to tailor
this a bit to the people that are listening to
you because I'm going to do a little bit different
bio than I usually do because not a lot of people
know this about me anymore, but I used to be
a national trainer in the real estate industry.
And so I've actually got a book out in the marketplace
called The Consultative Real Estate Agent. I
did not choose that title. It was terrible. And
I trained real estate agents for about a decade
and a half. background in the spiritual world
is I've been doing this stuff since I was five
years old. My mom said I was talking to ghosts
in my crib. And so these days, what I do, and
you're probably going, what does that have to
do with networking? I am also a super connector.
And the work I do these days is very much about
bringing people into alignment with their purpose
and their business. And so your purpose is the
fullest expression of your authentic self. And
when you are in the fullest expression of your
authentic self, then you are in alignment. with
what you're doing. And that alignment creates
profit because people will be naturally attracted
to you. And a classic example was back when I
was selling real estate in the 90s and I came
out of the spiritual closet, right? I was desperately
afraid to share what was going on with me. And
every single client I had at the time was like...
That's so cool. Did you know about this? Did
you know about that? Can you tell us the history
of the house? And does it, is it haunted? And
all this stuff. It was so great because everybody,
nobody looked at me like I had three heads. It
was amazing. And that's just because I was drawing
in the people that were in alignment with me.
And nobody was talking about it in the 90s because
if you talked about it, you were a nut job. And
now. People are like, oh, you can talk about
it now, mostly. Mostly. I'm okay with the not
mostly signs, though. That's okay. But I want
to, your opening just spoke to me so much. I
want to jump right into that, if that's okay.
Absolutely. You talked about people standing
up against the wall and I want to give you guys
my favorite trick for networking because I am
a super connector and I just, I talk to people
and I know everybody, right? And the reason that
works for me is because I was a very shy child
and the military forced me to be less shy or
have no friends, right? So I learned how to talk
to people. But the thing that I found most useful
in networking was to assign myself a role. at
the event. And it wasn't an official role. It
was an unofficial role. So however I was feeling,
which was usually unwelcome, right? However I
was feeling, I would assume that the other people
were feeling that way too. And I would designate
myself the welcome committee. And so anybody
walking, standing around the outside edges of
the room, I would walk up and say, Hey, who are
you? What you doing? How's it going? has, what
do you do? Talk to me. And then the minute we
would exchange information and we got to the
end of our two or three minute conversation,
which is really the only time you should be spending,
right? I would say, oh, great. Come with me.
And I grab them by the hand and I drag them to
a group of people who were talking and I butt
into the group of people. And I would say, have
you met so -and -so? And they, that I would introduce
them and they would say, that's awesome. They
would introduce themselves and then they say,
who are you? And that would give me an excuse
to be in the circle, right? And so by facilitating
other people's network, I got to facilitate my
own. And then when the conversation would die
down a little bit and people would start to blah,
blah, blah, and there wasn't anything else to
say, I'd grab somebody and say, who hasn't been
around the room? And I'd grab them by the hand
and walk them over to the next group. And I just,
that's what I do every time. And it makes it
so much easier. You hit upon so many points of
interest that I speak about when I go on stages
or do workshops in companies. But you really
spoke about being an extrovert versus an introvert
and what you have to do and everything else.
And I go in a lot about that. But that's very
good what you did and what you picked up on.
And that was just that was great. You brought
up the military. Were you in the military? My
mother and my ex -husband were both military.
So when we moved down here, I live in Bukete,
Panama now. This was my 40th move, 4 -0. So yeah,
if I didn't make friends fast, I didn't make
friends. Absolutely. No, I spent nine years in
the Air Force. That's why I asked. You understand.
I understand completely. Okay, so how about we...
We go right into this. And how does your spiritual
background influence your networking approach?
You're going to love this. So I do, when I go
networking, I do what I call finding the bright
and shiny in the room. Okay. I can walk into
a room and I have walked into a room of 500 people.
And just what I do is just turn on my extra sensory
perception. I'm looking at the auras in the room
and I'm like, who's bright, who's lightened up
for me. And I go and I talk to them and I actually,
it's very funny. You're going to, it's hysterical.
There was this guy and the networking event I
was at was a, it was a weird one. It was a combination
singles event. and business networking, which
was odd. And so this guy, I talked to him and
he's, you know, help me find somebody. And we
walked around the room and walked around and
he's like, how about this one? I'm like, no,
not that one. Why? And I would tell him why and
we'd keep going. And finally, I saw somebody
from across the room. I'm like, her. And he started
laughing. And I'm like, what? He said, that's
my wife of 12 years. I'm like, perfect fit. So
that's the thing is that you're, what you're
looking for is the bright and shiny. And so I'll
say this from two perspectives. One is if you're
in a physical space, you're looking for the person
who's attracts your attention more than anybody
else. So you want to sit at the edge of the room,
not engage with anybody and just allow yourself
to look over the room and see who you feel like
you want to go talk to. OK, and it's not an in
your head feeling. It's an in your body feeling.
It's a right with that energy. And then the other
side of it from a networking perspective is it's
also from a prospecting perspective, because
I used to use this all the time in my real estate
practice. Anytime somebody's name would come
to mind that I hadn't thought of in a while,
I would pick up the phone immediately and call
them and they would always be getting ready to
put their house on the market. Really? Yeah.
So I called that intuitive prospecting. Okay.
That's intuitive prospecting. Okay. How do you
align networking efforts with your soul's permission?
Your soul. So when you're networking, so networking
is all about finding the connections to the clients
that you want, right? Absolutely. And so it's
very much about. being in alignment with that
person. It's less about the networking and more
about the target marketing, right? So you need
to be really clear that you're in alignment with
your target market. I actually just talked to
somebody earlier today who's doing some consulting
work. She's working with people on Wall Street
and she comes from Wall Street and that's great
and it's making her money, but she's not in alignment.
It's not, doesn't make her soul sing. So she's
looking for the next thing. And so the thing
that you have to be clear on is what makes your
soul sing? What is it that you're excited about?
The reason I was so happy in real estate is because
at my heart, I am the person who stands at the
threshold of initiation from one identity to
the next. And real estate, when you move, you
change identity in a lot of ways. And so it was
in alignment with who I was at my core, right?
You have to... Be clear about who you are and
what's important to you and what your values
are. Make sure you're living by your values and
not your parents' values because otherwise that's
a recipe for misery. And then you can come about
that and say, okay, now I'm clear on who it is
I want to talk to. Now I need to find the intuitive
connections and the networking connections that
get me there. And that is also about connecting
with people with similar values. Right. So I
just had a guy on my podcast. I've got a spiritual
podcast called Spirit Sherpa. And I just had
a guy on who was a financial manager. And why
would you have a financial manager on a spiritual
podcast, which normally I would never do. But
the guy's so aligned. He's heart centered. He's
aligned. It's all about purpose. It's all about
it. I'm like, yes, I want my people to know that.
Right. But it's all about finding the alignment
and values. I had somebody on my podcast. His
main thing is a servant's heart. And his main
goal is just to give and help and everything.
And he is so on point with everything. And you
can tell that it's genuine just by the way that
he speaks. So I understand that completely. How
do you balance building profitable connections?
while staying true to your spiritual values.
You can't let your pocketbook dictate your actions,
okay? Hard to do. Yeah, I see this all the time
in the real estate world and mortgages where...
They'll prospect, end up with a ton of business
and then they don't prospect and then they end
up with no business. And then they have to, they
up and down and up and down and up and down.
And at the bottom of that cycle, inevitably they
will pick up somebody who will make them miserable
and who will take all their time and all their
energy and give them nothing in return and probably
not even buy. And that's where things go south
as you can, the better you can take care of yourself
by creating consistency in your business, by
automating your system. so that your marketing
goes out consistently without you having to touch
it and making sure that the business keeps coming
in even when you're busy. The more you can do
that, the less likely you are to make those bad
decisions. Now, if you happen to be in that position
where you're like, money isn't there, I gotta
pay the bills, taxes are coming, whatever, then
you have to... You have to center yourself and
you have to trust. You have to go back into your
knowledge base of saying, look, there has always
been money there. There will be money there again.
I have not been doing the things I was supposed
to do to get the money in the door. All I have
to do is breathe. It'll be fine. And I'm going
to trust that the universe is going to send me
something, somebody who is perfect, who is going
to be easy and profitable and grateful and send
me lots of referrals. And then instead of acting
out of panic, you sit down, get centered and
just open your mind and say, okay, who needs
to hear from me? And open your mind to all of
your past clients, all of the people you know,
and see whose name pops up and call them and
see why they need to talk to you. Now, sometimes
it'll be business and sometimes it won't. Sometimes
it'll be a referral. Sometimes it'll just be
a social call, but they'll remember you two weeks
from now when they have a conversation with somebody
else. You never know. Right. But you got to trust
what shows up. Yeah, there's a I was in the mortgage
industry for 10 years. So I really understand
that we had a system to keep yourself in front
of all of your clients, your past clients. So,
you know, it goes along that way. But I learned
a very valuable lesson. I learned how to fire
my clients. Yes. OK. Yes. I fired them and they're
always so, what do you mean you don't want to
work with me? You're so difficult and everything
else. It's better that you work with somebody
else because honestly, I won't have the patience
to do it. But that's, I had to learn that the
hard way. The very hard way. Happiest places
were the people I fired. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely.
You were making me crazy. Okay, so. What's your
top tip for networking authentically in the business
world? So the one thing that I see happen a lot
with people who are out there networking is that
they're so busy pitching, they're not listening.
Active listening. Yeah, active listening. It's
great to want to go out and talk about yourself.
And I am the queen of talking about myself. Look
at me here. But you really, before you can tell
anybody anything about what you do, you first
need to understand who they are and what they
need. Because I don't know about you, but I got
toolkits mile wide and 20 miles deep. So if I
talk about everything I do, we'll be here for
several hours and you'll be bored. I need to
find out what's going on with them. And so I
might give a one liner that's just enough to
get people interested. When you're in an industry
like real estate or mortgage or insurance, there's
a lot of people who are probably at the same
event as you who are in real estate, mortgage
and insurance. And I used to run these groups
in Boston and that was 90 % of the room. that
those four categories and financial planner in
there too, right? The four categories were the
most people in the room. So how do you make yourself
sound different? So that's the first thing is
you're like, okay, my differentiation is I am
the goddess of real estate or I am the queen
of making happy change or something, right? Something
just enough that people go, what's that? And
then you can talk about yourself. But I generally,
I start with them. I start with saying, who are
you and what are you doing? What's going on for
you? Because that's the first thing I'm going
to do. The second thing I'm going to do is say,
who do I know that I can connect with? Okay.
Now here's a super connectors, very hard one
piece of information. Do not commit yourself
to following up with them. Make the offer. Tell
them that you're happy to give it to them. Hand
out a card and say, if you send me an email,
I'll give you the information. Because 99 times
out of 100, they do not send you an email. And
if you are the one who has to follow up with
them every time, you'll be spending two or three
hours after every event following up with all
the people that you promised something to who
never will read it, never will appreciate it,
never will do anything with it. So say, I'm happy
to help you here. Here's my card. Please follow
up and I'll give you the information. And then
after I've known about them, given them something,
then I will offer them information about me because
the social contract is if I give you something,
you should give me something in return. And in
this case, it's your attention and maybe your
referral or your business. The first thing that
the networking rule is when you go to a networking
event, you look to give, not to receive. So when
you're asking that other person all about them,
there's a methodology we use. It's called form,
family, occupation, recreation, and a message.
And that's all to build up the rapport so that
you can, when you walk up to somebody, because
you think of that before you. Speak with them.
And you have them talk about themselves because
you know as well as I do, people love to talk
about themselves. They do. So you let them. But
you end the conversation with, you know what?
I like you. I like what you do. I like how you
do it. How can I make you more successful? How
can I be a good referral source for you? And
this is before you even say what you did. And
that usually blows them out of the water and
everything is good after that. So that's just
a little bit, a little tidbit. Which spiritual
principles have you found most effective in building
meaningful business relationships? Non -judgment
is the single most useful one. Because everyone
lives in fear of being judged because they spend
their whole lives judging themselves and projecting
that judgment onto others. And so when you can
stand in a place where absolutely nothing that
comes out of anybody's mouth is judged, and that's
true whether you're talking to the person themselves
or talking about someone else. Because if you're
going to judge somebody else, they're going to
assume you're going to judge them. So non -judgment,
if you can stay out of judgment and stay in a
compassionate, open -hearted space, then people
will trust you at a much higher level and a deeper
level. And they are more likely to refer to you
because they trust you. Know you, like you, trust
you, they'll do business with you. That's the
mantra of networking. And it's true no matter
how you slice it. It really is. But what you
said is so real. Can you share a networking challenge
that you faced as a spiritual entrepreneur and
how you overcame it? Yes, I can definitely do
that. I made the mistake of joining a BNI group
when I was promoting myself as the business shaman.
And that BNI group. had zero referrals for me.
They were not at all interested in anything I
was doing. They, in fact, looked at me like I
was a nut job. This was about 2006, 2007. And
the way I solved it is I left the group and found
Better Shores. And BNI, it's either you have
it, what everybody's interested in, or nothing.
Yeah. And you don't get anything. So that's the
way BNI... works, but I completely understand
what you're saying. How do you create mutual
value in networking while honoring your spiritual
beliefs? I don't know that there's a conflict
with my spiritual beliefs or my spiritual assumptions
about life with any networking. The only difference
would be that I don't network with people I don't
like. It's a good thing, isn't it? Yeah. If you're
not going to like them, then you're not going
to send them business. And if you don't like
them, the clients they get, aren't going to like
you either. There's really no point in being
there, but to get to a certain point and really
in our, with our ages, we've gotten to a certain
point where, you know what? I don't like you.
I don't have to deal with you rather than just
starting out. And we're like, I'm going to take
everybody. I don't care. I'm disliking whatever.
I would not recommend that. Even when you're
younger, you're going to beat your head against
the wall and you're going to be, you're going
to feel rejected and miserable all the time because
the people that you don't like you, and then
you're going to feel rejected. And why would
you do that to yourself? Just see, if I knew
us a hundred years ago, I wouldn't have, I would
look like this. Okay. Because I beat myself up
against the wall. What mindfulness practices
do you incorporate into your networking strategy?
So networking these days for me is a little different.
So I'm going to actually jump into online networking
to have that conversation because I live in Boquete,
Panama, but my market is in the U .S. And so
all of my networking these days is online. And
so the first thing that I'm doing is I am researching
people before I talk to them. Everybody and their
brother wants some of my time right now. Every
time I turn around, somebody's, oh, let's hop
on a networking call. And I'm like. I've got
12 calls this week and I've got four podcasts
and I have to actually get some work done at
some point. And you have to recognize, especially
if you're talking to somebody who's busier, the
more successful someone is, the more you have
to justify the reason for the call and the more
you need to honor the time that they give you.
whether it's 15 minutes or an hour and a half.
If I'm giving you more than 15 minutes of my
time at this point in my career for networking,
it's because I feel like there's something to
be had here. I don't call people just to talk
to people at this stage. And a lot of that's
just because I don't want to be on the computer
all the time. And so this is about aligning my
level of need to have time away from the computer.
And this is about balancing for myself. So it's
not actually about the networking. It's about
the time management for myself around networking.
Because if you go to a new networking event online,
Give it one or two tries. If you don't get anything
out of it, move on, go to something else. If
you're not coming in, especially if it's like
a two hour event, I went to a two hour event
two weeks ago, got zero out of it. I've got another
one coming up tomorrow. If nothing comes out
of that one, I will not be going back to that
event. It's very much about honoring your own
energy levels and knowing what you can and cannot
do. Because the problem is that, especially when
you're working one -on -one with people, if you
start to burn out, they will feel that and cancel
their appointments with you. That has happened
to so many people I know because they get burned
out and they're like. want to have any calls
today and suddenly the calls are just dropping
like flies and you're like oh but i needed that
business and that's problematic so you really
do have to manage your own energy really well
and make sure that you have a clear agenda for
the conversation that you're having even if it's
a hey i really like what you do let's learn about
each other that is a clear agenda but the hey
let's just jump on a call because we happen to
jump and there's no value there and don't lie
to people about why you're setting the meeting
by the way because they know Right? Of course
they know. But you have to have, there has to
be a goal for the call. There has to be a reason.
Unless it's just a friend of yours that you want
to catch up with. But if you're in business,
there has to be a little structure, a goal for
the end of the conversation. There's got to be
a reason why you spoke. So that's all comes with
it. How do you attract and identify networking
opportunities that align with your spiritual
and business goals? You're going to laugh again.
I see so many things come across my desk and
so many opportunities. And for me, a lot of it
is simply. just feeling into it if i so your
body knows what is good for you and what isn't
your body can feel into the energy of what's
going on in the room and so if you get your head
out of the way and just close your eyes and put
the idea of going to that on the table don't
think about it just put the concept of it on
the table and then listen to your body if your
body goes then you go if your body goes then
you don't if your body goes then I usually don't
go. An eh is not enough for my time. For somebody
just getting started, an eh might be useful,
right? It might be. You're absolutely right.
But again, it's because of where we are in our
venture. You don't have time for stupid people.
I don't have time for this. That's true. That's
true. That's true. Who don't have anything to
offer me and who I probably don't have anything
to offer. If it's not a fit, I don't have time
for non -fits. Yeah. Okay. You're not wrong.
Bringing this full circle, how do you see networking
evolving for the spiritual entrepreneurs in the
coming years? Oh, what a great question. See,
here's the thing. When I work with spiritual
entrepreneurs, and what I'm saying is people
who are teaching spirituality and doing spiritual
services and things, the biggest challenge that
they have is that they are tech -phobic. And
they really don't want to be running a business
90 % of the time. And the reason that they are
running a business is because there's nobody
who can employ them. And so if they could get
a job doing it, they would. And so that's the
biggest challenge for them right now. And so
in the coming years, I think that anybody who
can translate tech is going to be greatly in
demand for them. And anybody who can help them
use AI is going to be greatly in demand for them.
And in terms of their networking, one of the
first rules of networking is how do you Find,
go to the places where your clients are going
to be, right? Or the people who have your clients
are going to be one or the other, right? Or both,
ideally. And they need to be able to find those
venues. So when I left the BNI, I actually switched
to a different group that was entirely made up
of people in that wellness market. And that was
slightly more useful, but not terribly more useful
because they still had sort of poverty mindset.
And so when you're surrounding yourself, don't
surround yourself with people with poverty mindsets
is what I'm going to say, because your income
is the average of the 10 people you spend the
most time with. You have to realize that you
are who you surround yourself with. And I used
to think that, no, that's not the way it goes,
but it actually is the way it goes. And that
10 is a good number. You take the 10 people that
you surround yourself with. Look at them because
that's pretty much where you are. That's very
insightful. Kelly, this was great. I got to tell
you, this was a great podcast. I can probably
talk to you for another two hours. But if anybody
wants to get hold of you, either to be coached,
to figure a website or whatever the case may
be, I'm going to get hold of you. Yes, my website
is kellysparta .com. Like you see on the screen,
it's K -E -L -L -E. There is no I, no other E,
no other Y, just K -E -L -L -E. Yes, my mother
was phonetically stupid. kellysparta .com. And
my podcast is Spirit Sherpa. So you can find
Spirit Sherpa on any podcast player. Or if you
don't know how to do a podcast player, one, learn
some tech. And two, it's at spiritsherpapodcast
.com. Like I said, my people are tech phobics.
Okay. Okay. Very good, Kelly. And I look forward
to talking with you in the future. Thank you.
Well, hold on, folks. Don't go anywhere. Let
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-U -P -K -I -D -S .org. Well, that's a wrap,
folks. A huge thank you to our special guests
for sharing such incredible insights today. And
of course, a big shout out to you, our amazing
listeners, for tuning in and spending your time
with us. Remember, networking isn't about being
perfect. It's about being present. So take what
you've learned today, get out there, and make
some meaningful connections. If you enjoyed this
episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave us
a review, and share it with someone who could
use a little networking inspiration. Let's keep
the conversation going. You can find me on Apple,
Spotify, YouTube, or my website, Michael. Remember.
Until next time, keep practicing, keep connecting,
and keep building those relationships. This is
Michael signing off. Take care and happy networking.