and welcome to Networking Unleashed, Building
Profitable Connections. Welcome back to the show,
folks. I'm your host, Michael Foreman, and you're
listening to the podcast where networking is
more than just awkward handshakes and bad coffee.
It's an art and a talent. But here's the twist.
It's an art and talent you can actually learn.
Yes, even if you're the person hiding in a corner
at every event pretending to check emails. Networking
isn't just a nice skill to have, it's a game
changer. And when you get good at it, you'll
wonder why you didn't start sooner. More connections,
more opportunities, more profits. It's like unlocking
a cheat code for life. So whether you're the
life of the party or just the let me stay at
home and text type, I've got something for you.
So stick around and let's turn those awkward
small talk moments into big wins. I've got an
incredible guest today. His name is Frank King.
Let's say he's been around the horn a little
bit, and he has quite an extensive background.
But let me just tell you that Frank King is a
corporate comedian, TEDx speaker, and a suicide
prevention advocate with over 20 years of experience
as a writer for The Tonight Show. So before I
butcher his background, I really just want to
introduce Frank and let him tell you a little
bit more about it. Frank, how are you today?
Enjoying a wonderful cup of coffee. I'm good.
And I've been around the Horn twice, actually.
The Horn. First time around, the weather was
gorgeous. The sea was flat like a pool table.
I came up, I do stand -up comedy on cruise ships.
I've been to all seven continents, including
Antarctica, twice. And we were on our way to
Antarctica. And I come up on deck, I look, and
I... It's just a gorgeous day. And I said, what's
that big rock? To one of the pastors, he goes,
Frank, that's the horn. I go, it can't be. I've
seen pictures of this area when I was a kid.
Giant waves, sea serpents, ships flipping over,
guys falling out. It's going to be. But it was.
The second I went around, it was like that. The
ship didn't turn over, but it was ugly. I started
comedy in the fourth grade, nine years old. Actually,
people often ask me, were you born funny? Yes,
as a matter of fact. An amusing thing happened
on the way down the birth canal. But I was born
funny. Ninth grade, I told a joke. Kids laughed.
Teacher was hysterical. So hysterical, she had
to excuse herself to go to the teacher's lounge.
She was laughing so hard. I realized at that
moment I was going to be a comedian. Twelfth
grade, I'd been taking drama for three years,
never got a speaking part. Spring, they had a
talent show. And I thought, you know what? If
I do stand -up, I can write, direct, produce,
star my own little show every night. I'm going
to do stand -up. Nobody's ever done stand -up
at the talent show. And there's a picture of
me in the annual in a really ugly three -piece
suit holding the microphone and doing my stand
-up. And I won. Of course, I beat the accordion
player and the folk dancer, so not a huge victory,
but still a victory. Went home, told my mama,
I'm going to L .A. She goes, no, son, you're
not. You are going to college first. I don't
care what you do when you get done. You can be
a goat herder for all I care. You're going to
be a goat herder with a college degree. So UNC
Chapel Hill picked up a couple of college degrees,
neither of which I've ever used. But I graduated
and then bolted for the West Coast. And 40 years
ago, this coming April 1st, I was doing my first
open mic night. And inside my head about halfway
through, I heard a voice. You're home. Decided
that moment. I would do it for a living. Had
no idea how. Matter of fact, Michael, I've threatened
for years to write a keynote called, What Could
You Do If You Didn't Know No Better? Because
had I known how hard it was to make a living
doing stand -up, I might not have tried. 18 months
later, said to my girlfriend, now my wife of
37 years, I'm going on the road to be a comic,
full -time. You want to come along for the ride?
Figuring she'd go, oh, hell no. She goes, yeah.
So we gave up the apartment. and our jobs. Jumped
into my tiny Dodge Colt and we were on the road
for 2 ,629 nights in a row non -stop. Club to
club, beer bar to beer bar, pool hall to pool
hall, drunk idiot screaming, tell us some jokes
we can dance to. Here comes the slow one. You
can slow dance. And seven years and change. And
then came off the road to do radio in my old
hometown of Raleigh, North Carolina. Got a job
on The Morning Show, the number one morning show
in Raleigh, North Carolina. And in 18 months,
I drove it to number six. A friend of mine said,
you didn't drive that into the ground. You drove
it into Middle Earth. I did. And then I made
the jump to corporate comedy because the clubs
are closing faster than they were opening. People
ask me, what's the difference between a club
comic and a corporate comic? About $5 ,000 a
night plus travel. Yeah, I'm no math major, Michael,
but that made sense. Some of my really pure comic
purists friends, you sold out. You went corporate.
Yes, I did. I'm a prostitute, but I'm a high
paid prostitute. That's right. Did that till
2008 when the bottom dropped out of the speaking
slash comedy market with the recession. Lost
everything in a chapter seven bankruptcy. That's
when I learned what the barrel of my gun tasted
like. Spoiler alert, I did not pull the trigger.
When speaking came back, meeting planner said
to me, Frank, we love you. Can't pay you five
grand anymore just to be funny. You have got
to teach the audience something. I had no idea
what to teach. But a friend of mine, Judy Carter,
wrote a book called The Message of You, Turn
Your Life into a Money -Making Speaking Career.
She gave me a copy. She goes, Frankie, you read
this, you'll figure it out. And she takes you
by the hand and walks you through the process.
Halfway through, I thought, I do have something
to talk about. Given my near suicide, two mental
illnesses, the fact, Michael, there are more
nuts in my family than in a squirrel turd, I
could keynote on suicide prevention if I got
some training, which I did. Then I thought, now
wait a minute. I've been doing comedy for two
and a half decades. Who's going to take me serious
about anything? So my wife said famously, do
a TEDx. And I said famously, what's a TEDx? As
I get ready to do my 13th TEDx, I got an application
that week from a TEDx in Vancouver, BC. And so
I applied, I auditioned, I got it. And then two
more events called and said, do you have any
more mental health topics? Yes, I do. Those are
my first three. So I proved to people that I
could do something deadly serious, literally
deadly serious, with humor, funny personal anecdotes,
not jokes, but anecdotes. And by the way, there's
a rule in comedy, Michael. You can make fun of
any group to which you belong. And having two
mental illnesses and coming close to killing
myself, I am doubly qualified. So that's the
long and the short, and I've been doing that.
I had other speeches. I had a networking speech,
as a matter of fact. I have a networking speech
that will make you cry. It's a story about networking.
It's about how I network to help someone out.
And at the end, I said, look, if I don't ever
do anything good for anybody else in my lifetime,
that story right there should get me into heaven.
But I decided January 1st, 2018, I'm just going
to be a suicide prevention speaker. Because Jane
Atkinson, the wealthy speaker coach, said, pick
a lane. Be the expert or thought leader. Just
do one thing. and figure out who needs that thing
and is willing to pay for it. So I thought, okay,
I'm a suicide prevention speaker. And I've been
doing that since 2018. I'll tell you, from my
experience as a speaker, that was always the
case. Pick a lane. Pick a lane, go to it, and
you'll do wonders. It's worked so far. And hearing
it from you with your vast experience tells me
that I was given the right advice. Okay, so I'm
going to go right into the questions. Yeah. How
has networking played a role in your mission
to raise awareness about suicide prevention?
I'm a big believer in giving value first without
expectation of return. My mother taught me that.
I didn't know she was teaching me that. She loved
to network, although we didn't call it that at
the time. People would call her all hours, day
and night. and ask if they could get some help
from her. And if she could help, she would do
her best to help them. And I'm watching this
as a child, to no benefit of her own, just because
she knew somebody who could probably get it done,
and she took great pleasure in getting it done.
And so I have networked with other entertainers,
other speakers in my career, and I think that's
the key, a key to success. is the network. It's
a lonely business as a speaker, as a comedian.
You're doing it by yourself. So I believe you
have to build a network. And I believe when you
network, it's like a garden. You have to tend
it. You have to nurture it. I'm still in touch
with my eighth grade history teacher. Was Miss
Hill, now Mrs. Goody. And I needed something.
I needed, oh, I needed, somebody called me, a
fraternity brother of mine. had a daughter who
graduated from college, and she wanted to work
in a school where they worked with autistic kids.
And I said to him what my mother would say, I'll
see what I can do. So I called Ms. Godey, who
had been a teacher in Raleigh, North Carolina,
and on the Wake County School Board, and said,
listen, here's the deal. She graduated college,
she's really bright, she wants to work, and so
we helped to network her into a job in Cary,
North Carolina, at one of the top schools for
autistic kids in the South. So that's eighth
grade teacher. Your network goes way, way back.
Yes, and the greatest thing I've ever done, networking
-wise, was I was taking a martial arts class
on Whidbey Island, Washington, and I had a fellow
student, Elise. And Elise came in crying one
day. And I said, what's wrong? She said, we're
trying to adopt a child from Nepal. My husband's
there now. It's the last visa he will have because
we can't afford to send him back again. And I
said, what's holding up the audition? She said,
well, the birth mother signed off, the birth
father signed off, the Nepalese government signed
off. What's the catch? Homeland security. I said,
look, I've never had a three -year -old, but
I can't believe he's that big a terrorist. So
before I could stop myself, Michael, I said exactly
what my mother would say. I'll see what I can
do. And I believe there's power in giving voice
to that. Because as I'm driving home, I'm thinking,
I'm a comic on Whidbey Island. How do I impact
international relations or politics? And then
it occurred to me. There was a guy in Raleigh
that went to junior high school a year or two
ahead of me named Tom Fetzer. And then he became
mayor of Raleigh. He was mayor of Raleigh when
I was there working for the radio station. So
he got reacquainted to the YMCA. And so Tom...
is a Republican operative. He worked for Bill
Good, Strom Thurmond, and Jesse Helms. But the
thing was that this is during the George W. Bush
administration. So pretty much everybody in town
is a Republican. And this woman, Elise, was connected
with the two senators and the governor in Washington
State, but they're Democrats. So that was where
she's getting jammed up. So I called Tom. I said,
Tom, I told him a story. He said, just as my
mother would say, I'll see what I can do. Now,
Tom and I agree on nothing political, nothing.
But we agree on humans and kids. So Tom said,
I'll see what I can do. So that was Tuesday.
On Thursday, I got a call back from him. I said,
how'd it go? He said, Frank, I called Elizabeth
Dole, who was a senator in North Carolina at
that time, Liddy Dole. And I told her the situation.
And she called Homeland Security. And what happened
at Homeland Security? And he said, Frank, and
I'm quoting, I tore him a new asshole, end quote.
And so the word went out from Washington, D .C.
in a diplomatic pouch to Nepal to say, cut the
kid loose. But I don't know. I go back to class
on Monday morning and Elise is not there. And
I'm thinking, oh, man, it didn't work. Tuesday,
no, Elise. I can't believe we got so close. Tuesday,
I go to the grocery store after class. I'm pushing
my little buggy. I come around the corner. There
stands Elise holding the hand of a darling little
three -year -old child. I'm crying. She's crying.
His name is Avi. Avi looks me in the eye and
goes, Avi, go pee. I said, yes, and on American
soil, I might add. So I don't know if it's possible
to have that kind of impact on three people's
lives very often in a lifetime. So if I never
do anything good again, the fact that I helped
to bring them together to pull that off across
the international date line and Tom Fetzer, who
we agree on nothing politically, but he did it
because he could do it. I did it because I thought
I could do it. And Lady Dole apparently likes
kids and likes Tom. And there we go. You're at
the right place at the right time. You knew the
right people. And you never even knew it. And
I couldn't stop myself from saying, I'll see
what I can do. Oh, dear God, did I say that out
loud? Yeah. You know what? It's ingrained in
your system. Because your first thought is to
help somebody. Yeah. And so what comes out is
what your mother said. So it goes a long way.
It really does. And you can never be faulted
for doing the right thing. You can be, but. That's
beside the point. But at least you tried. Except
this time you tried and something came out of
it. It's a beautiful thing. It really is. What
advice do you have for professionals who want
to build meaningful connections that foster mental
well -being in their networks? A, what I learned
from my mom was when you meet someone, don't
think about what they can do for you. Focus on
what you can do for them. Because a lot of people
make that mistake networking. They're passing
out business cards, they're hustling, they're
trying to figure out what the person they're
talking to can do for them. Again, I believe
you figure out what you can do for them without
expectation of return. And Zig Ziglar famously
said something on the order of, help enough people
get what they want, and there's a good chance
you'll get what you want. Absolutely. That's
one of the main things that I talk about when
I go, when I speak. So you have to go into that
situation. What can you give? Don't think about
receiving. When you're meeting with somebody,
you say, how can I make you more successful?
Or how can I be a good referral source for you
without even thinking what I can do for me? So
that's a very good. So we're right on line with
the same thing. How did you leverage networking
to land your TED Talk, and what tips do you have
for others looking to do the same? I can't swear
that I used my networking as a leverage to get
the TEDx. Okay. It's a very simple process. You
apply, you audition, you get it. And there was
no one, I didn't have anybody in the TED world
that I could use, that I could contact and say,
hey, listen, can you help me? Although I coach
TEDx. We have a program called the TEDx Launchpad.
And the first half an hour is always free. Now,
obviously, I want to sell them the program. But
oftentimes, we realize very quickly that they
don't have the money, even to finance it. We
have financing. But I don't cut the call short
because they don't have the money. What I do
is I say, look, here's the deal. You want to
be a speaker? Yes. You want to do a TEDx? Yes.
Okay. Here's how you get started very inexpensively.
Buy Judy Carter's book, The Message of You. Figures
under 20 bucks. Buy Talk Like Ted by Carmine
Gallo. It's a great TEDx 101. Again, under 20
bucks. I can get you started down the path to
be a professional speaker and have a TEDx talk
if you just buy those two books. Now, that said,
when you start putting yourself out as a speaker,
I would recommend you... If they ask your fee,
$5 ,000 plus travel. That's a starting point
nowadays. B, when you're filling out TEDx application,
pro tip. Some of them say, who do you want to
nominate? It's a way, I believe, of them cutting
down the number of people who fill them out because
you're thinking, who's going to nominate me?
Here's what they don't tell you. You can nominate
yourself, which they don't tell you. So I try
to give them tips and tricks and things for free.
that will ease, that will speed their journey,
even though they can't afford. It's obvious they
can't afford. And I have some other pro tips
on when you go to audition, make sure you have,
they're going to go, great idea. Now, what are
you going to teach the audience? Make sure you
have learning objectives, you know, figured out.
And then they're going to ask you, great, what's
the takeaway? So make sure you have takeaways
figured out. Because I had a speaker call me
one day. He'd gotten an audition and got blown
out. I said, how'd you get blown out? He goes.
Frank, they asked me for my learning objectives.
What's a learning objective? I'm thinking, how
long have you been speaking? So yeah, so I give
them tips that they, for 40 bucks, they can do
all that on their own and not use me. And it's
to no benefit of mine. Maybe they might, if somebody
else, they asked me what they can do for me.
If somebody says, I want to do a TEDx or I want
to make money speaking or I want to do both,
just say, I know a guy. Absolutely. And which
I happen to have you in my little knapsack also,
because you're the first name that comes off
my lips if somebody asks me that question. OK,
so you're right there. OK, so what's the most
impactful connection you've made through public
speaking and how did it change your career? The
most impactful was personally was the one I told
you. Oh, I know. I took a class, an eight hour
class on mental health, no, suicide prevention
in the workplace from Dr. Sally Spencer Thomas.
And she lost her brother to suicide. And she's
a psychologist. And she is big deal. She's a
big deal in the world of suicide prevention.
And she has a friend named Sarah Gare, who's
a therapist who teaches suicide prevention to
first responders. So they're friends. I didn't
know Sarah, but I met Sally. I did the class.
She had a fundraiser. I'm an auctioneer as well.
So I just charged her for my travel and I went
and did the auction. It was in an airplane hangar
in Colorado in the summer. I was sweating like
George Bush at a spelling bee. It was horrible.
I did it for travel. So Sarah teaches first responders
about suicide prevention. Most of them are men.
She wanted to buy a book on men's mental health
for one of her students. She went to Barnes &
Noble, brick -and -mortar store, nothing. Amazon,
nothing. She thought, there's a vacuum. So she
contacted Sally, said, I've got an idea. So Sally
thought it was a great idea. They contacted me,
because Sally knew me. She said, Frank, listen,
here's your idea. And we want to make it funny.
Would you make the book funny? I said, wait a
minute. You two ladies are writing a book on
men's mental health. Don't you think you might
need a co -author who is, I don't know, a man?
I said, here's the deal. I'll make it funny.
If I can be a co -author and I can record the
books for Audible, narrate them. So no money
for me besides a third of whatever profit we...
make on the books. And I haven't seen a dime
yet. And that was years ago, but that was the
best connection because Sally and Sarah are,
and I helped Sarah get a TEDx talk. Two of them,
as a matter of fact, didn't charge her a dime.
So it's, and Sally already had a TEDx. So I wasn't
able to, but that, that probably right there.
And by the way, I have never seen a psychologist,
psychiatrist or therapist. I'd never been officially
diagnosed until. We were working on book one
and I described my symptoms to Sally and Sarah.
And they said, you have major depressive disorder
and chronic suicidal ideation. So they diagnosed
me and they were absolutely right. But again,
I took Sally's class. I did the auctioneering
for travel with no expectation of anything else.
And lo and behold, they called me. And now it
was going to be one book, an anthology, 12 guys.
Each one has a problem. Life's good. Life's bad.
Here's how I'm coping. And we figured if we get
12 guys to be honest about their issues, we'd
be lucky. We got 60 guys. So it became four books.
So I am a best -selling author on Amazon four
times over. Now, I was the best -selling author
on the day they went up. It didn't last very
long. Somebody said to me, how long are you going
to call yourself a best -selling author? Until
the day I die. That's right. Because I am. I
have four best -selling. books on Amazon, thanks
to networking with Sally with Sarah. And that's
probably the most impactful. Outstanding. Outstanding.
Okay, let's move the needle a little bit. How
does humor help break down barriers and create
stronger connections in professional? It's not
just professional events. Pretty much anywhere.
It's disarming. And it's To make people laugh,
you have to make a connection. They have to be
seeing the world the way you see it to make them
laugh. And it brings down barriers. Laughing
is an unguarded moment. And so whether it's in
a social situation or a business situation or
a comedy club. if you can make them laugh and
it's a gift. I believe I was born funny and funny
thing happened all the way down the birth canal.
And so it's, it greases the wheels of interaction
with other humans. They automatically see you
differently than they did the moment before.
I'm in the airport. There's a mechanical problem,
a delay. Everybody at the gate is cranky. They're
upset. They're going to miss the wedding or whatever.
And so, grumble, I'm standing under television.
And on the television above me is CNN. And pretty
much everybody can hear the broadcaster. And
the guy standing next to me goes, hey, how do
we get this TV turned to Fox News? And I said,
you kill me first. Everybody in the gate is laughing.
They're still upset the play's not leaving, but
it changed the mood of the gate like that. And
now, oh, and when I came to Eugene, I knew one
person. It was the woman I bought insurance from
on the rental house we owned in Eugene. So I
called her and she goes, Frank, you need to go
to this, they call it greeters. It's a sub, it's
a committee of the chamber, greeters. You need
to go to greet. My husband's big in greeters.
He'll hold your hand. And so they meet in the
morning for breakfast. And her husband introduced
me around and we're all sitting there. And just
by chance, the person who was supposed to speak,
because they always have a speaker at the meeting,
didn't show up. So I said, how about some comedy?
And Kelly, who was the co -chair of the committee
at the time, told me later, I'm thinking to myself,
okay, it's Springfield, Oregon. How funny can
he be? So they let me get up on a chair. So I
did a theater round. And I've been doing comedy
by this point for, I don't know, 25 years. And
when I've been listening, which I think is important
in networking, I've been listening to, as people,
you go around the room and introduce themselves.
They give their name, the name of the business,
their tagline. So I knew there was a mortician
there, a travel agent there, and several other
occupations. And I had jokes for each one in
my repertoire. So I stood up and I did 15 minutes,
20 minutes of just, and they're going nuts. So
from not knowing anyone, all of a sudden, every
one of those 60 people at the meeting knows who
I am and that I'm funny. Well, get this, the
next week, the same thing happened. The speaker
didn't show. So I said, how about some comedy?
And Kelly said, we could do comedy or give 10
people members two minutes each to talk about
their business. What do you guys want to do?
And they all screamed comedy. I got up again.
And that's how I became known in Springfield
with all those business people instantly. Comedy
always seems to work the best. I, too, believe
in comedy. I sprinkle it into whatever talks
that I have because it keeps everybody involved.
You have everybody's attention. That's just one
of the ways. But I truly believe it's very important.
What business professionals learn from comedians
about building rapport and engaging in the audience
and audience? In comedy. A, you have to read
the room. Absolutely. During the recession, all
my bucket list was being a police officer. I
was 52 years old. And I thought I was too old.
But I met somebody in one of the departments
who said, Frank, there's no age limit. They can't
do that. You pass the law enforcement physical
fitness test, they have to at least consider
you for hire. So I started training. And I applied
with 12 different departments. And I passed the
physical fitness test four times. Oldest person
in the state of Washington ever passed. And at
one of the oral boards, they said, look, what's
the connection between comedy and being a police
officer? And I said, we're both paid observers.
A comedian has to read the room. Police officers,
they pull up on a scene. Maybe it's like a gathering
at an intersection. They have to take the temperature
of the situation. And I said, as in comedy. In
police work, whatever you say first can either,
in police work especially, either escalate the
problem or de -escalate the problem. So a comic
will know, will read the room, read the intersection,
and probably figure out who's in charge of this,
who are the leaders of this thing, and then what
they need to say first to de -escalate. So in
comedy, you've got about, I don't know, 30 seconds,
a minute to get their attention and make them
comfortable with the fact that you're funny.
When I do ships, stand -up comedy on ships, the
first 10 minutes, I do my bullets, my A material.
I tell speakers in comics, open with a 10. Anything
that's a 10, open with it. Anything that's a
10, close with it. In between those, that's where
all the 6, 7, 8, 5, 6, 7, 8 pieces of business
go. You need to open strong and close strong.
So I do 10 minutes, and then I do what they call
audience work. I go to the audience. I've made
the audience comfortable. They know I'm funny.
They know I'm not talking to them just because
I got nothing else to say. So I think you need
to focus on that opening. And a friend of mine
wrote a book. It's called Finding the Funny Fast.
And it's not for comics. It's for people who
find themselves at a podium or rostrum, and they
have to speak. And her idea is that you need
to... take in the environment and say something
funny based on the environment. For example,
when I'm in Vegas, oftentimes it seems like the
conference room I'm working in is miles from
my, you know, my hotel room. So I get up there
and go, look, I'm sorry I'm a little late. I
don't know about you guys, but my room is long
way from here. I'll tell you how long it is.
I got rolling luggage. I had to stop and rotate
the tires. Now, they've all experienced that.
They're all probably far away from, or there's
a little bottle of water in the room, and it's
five bucks for 10 ounces. So I go, you guys have
a bottle of water in your room? It's five bucks.
You know what that means? Here in Las Vegas,
it's actually cheaper to drink the gasoline.
Again, what you're looking for is commonality,
relatability. You want to relate to the audience,
something that they can wrap their minds around,
something that hopefully they've experienced.
And again, it brings those barriers down. I guess
the bottom line is you got about 60 seconds as
a comic and as a speaker to get their attention.
And because they've invested their time, they
want you to be good, but they want to know that
right away. Good, good. And you're speaking right
along the same lines as when I talk. I'm thinking
about my... talks and the way that you're describing
it. And I'm just about there, but I'm already
thinking about how I'm going to rearrange things
because of what you just said. But that's for
a story for another day. What's the best networking
lesson you've learned from your journey in comedy,
the speaking, and suicide prevention? I think
it's a lesson that I already knew, that giving
value first without expectation of return. And
figuring out what you can do for somebody when
you meet them, not worry about what they can
do for you. And a friend of mine who sells radio
in this town, I sold radio one summer for a cumulus
cluster of stations. Somebody had asked her,
somebody new at their station in sales, asked
her about how to succeed in sales. And she said,
don't sell anything for the first three months.
Just show up. In other words, just go to the,
Springfield Chamber meeting, the Eugene Chamber
meeting, the Eugene Chamber after hours. Just
keep showing up, not selling a thing. Just have
a presence in the community for three months.
Don't sell a thing. Don't pitch anything. Just
show up. And I think that's good advice. I think
they're young. They're excited. They want to
make the sales and whatever. And listen. When
I sold radio, The average salesperson in the
company had a 20 % close rate. My close rate
when they fired me was 94%. Because what I did
was, which most radio people don't do, I took
what they call a spec spot out to every closing
appointment. In other words, I actually wrote,
produced, and voiced a commercial for that client.
And the way I did that was when I met the client,
I listened. Oftentimes they would tell me exactly
what should be in that ad. I went to another
repair shop. Guy's name is Bob. Still friends
to this day. I go, Bob, tell me about the repair
shop. They said, we're not the home of the 1999
oil change. Hold on. Which in radio, they call
a disqualifier. You want to disqualify the people
you don't want to come. You want to qualify the
people you want. I go, what are you the home
of? We're the home of the 24 ,000 mile, 24 month,
24 ,000 mile nationwide warranty. Hold on. So
that's how I wrote. They wrote the ads for me.
One of them was a construction company that did
remodels, kitchen and bath. And their thing was,
look, if you're looking for, hang on, there's
a cat down here. We have six cats and this one
wants to come up. Hold on. Honey, I'm working.
Come here. Pardon me. I've got to get a hold
of the table. Okay, there you go. Here we go.
Yep. So they did remodeling, and their thing
was, if you're looking for three bids like your
dad told you to do, that's not. Their thing was,
you bring us a budget and a dream, and we'll
make it work. So the spot I wrote was... They're
the one client that didn't buy from me. And I
wrote some Cracker Jack spots for them. One of
which was, bring whatever the name of the construction
company was. Yeah, what can I do for you? I'm
looking for three bids. Click. And you can hear
the click in the commercial. And then the phone
rings again. You can hear the guy pick it up
in the commercial. Yeah, hello, what can I do
for you? Oh, we got cut off. I'm looking for
three bids. We didn't get cut off. We don't do
that. Click. It was hysterical. And they didn't
buy it. But the point is, they wrote it for me.
All I had to do was take dictation. So I would
say in networking, listening is much more important
than talking. Absolutely. I couldn't agree more.
I couldn't agree more. How do you approach networking
in high stakes or emotionally challenging environments?
Comic. Here's your answer. I come in wearing
Kevlar and heavily armed. And again, it's like
that thing at the airport where I was just waiting
for an opening to break the tension. And the
guy couldn't have been better opening. It was
perfect. People say things, and if you're listening
carefully, again, listening. I thought for the
longest time, Michael, that everybody thought
the way I did. That they all, when something
happened, they saw the punchline and I was just
beating everybody to the punch. So one day at
the grocery store, I decided to give it a road
test, if that was true. I don't know if you ever
do this, but I like to look at the things that
people in front of me are buying and people behind
me are buying on the belt. It's a guilty pleasure.
And so the guy in front of me, he had a bag of
frozen shrimp. a quart of motor oil now it just
so happened it was back in the day when that
oil well blew up in the gulf of mexico remember
that hundreds of thousands oh yeah yeah the oil
so i'm looking at shrimp in that oil and i know
what the punch line is but i decided i'm just
gonna wait and see if anybody else the cashier
that guy the guy behind me i waited nothing so
i said dude that's an interesting purchase there
that's frozen shrimp and Motor oil. Are you going
to serve those Louisiana style? The cashier bends
over double. And when she gets back up, she goes,
you should be a comedian. I get that a lot. So
I realized, Michael, that not everybody thinks
that way. Comedy is a great, it's an icebreaker.
It levels the playing field. People all of a
sudden are taking you. You know, they see you.
Is there just a blur? Absolutely. Yeah. It's
the best icebreaker. It's the best tension breaker.
It's good in many different facets. But I am
a true believer in the comedian because you wear
all sorts of hats. You can diffuse many problems
without even diffusing the problem. You can just
be yourself. And you can find funny things in
just about everything. Just about everything.
And I think if you combine comedy and empathy,
I read a book called The Like Factor. The Like
Factor. And one of the things he said was, you
should always open an email, especially if you're
going to be turning somebody down or saying something
that they don't want to hear. Open it with an
empathetic statement. Listen, I understand how
busy you are. I get that. And then go into whatever
it is. Or I understand your point of view. You
can also do that in real life. And he said, here's
an example. And this has happened to me many
times. I'm standing at the rental car counter
behind somebody. And the guy in front of me is
just raking the poor rental agent over the coals.
And so... He said, in that case, what you do
is you need to let them know, the rental agent
know, you saw what happened, you understand what
happened, and you're sympathizing or empathizing.
So the way I do it is, the guy's screaming and
yelling at the poor agent behind the counter.
They stomp off. And I walk up and I go, hey,
listen up. I've got a car rental named Frank
King. Here's my driver's license. And I go, listen,
I just got one question for you. At what point
during this traction, this transaction, do I
get to yell at you? Now they're laughing. They
know I know what just happened. I took note of
it and I made them laugh. So if you combine empathy
and humor like that, where you're being empathetic,
but you're also being funny in the process, then
I think that's very powerful. Yeah, I still say
you can find funny things or comedic value in
just about everything. do or it happens or but
you have to make the decision whether you say
something about it or not because i always see
the comic the comedic value and so i find comedy
in just about everything my wife tells me to
shut up all the time okay so i know i know the
feeling i know the feeling but it's what you
have to put up and by the way what oftentimes
when i do that i get the upgrade on the automobile
Or the upgrade to the Economy Plus seat on the
plane. I remember I'd done that, and the woman
handed me keys, and it was a Spyder. I can't
remember what company makes the Spyder. It was
a Spyder convertible. Okay. It's sheet metal
and an eight -cylinder engine. It's dangerous.
But it was not a midsize basic. I go. This spider
is a midsize. She goes, it is today. Yep. Yep.
Always. I would say almost always works out in
your favor. Yeah. Almost always. All right. Can
you share a story where a simple conversation
or connection led to an unexpected opportunity?
I think the key there. networking key is again
is it make it about them ask leading questions
because it may appear at first that there's nothing
you can do for them but if you ask leading questions
i'll give you an example when i'm on a plane
and i'm sitting next to somebody and we're going
to have a conversation i ask leading questions
through the flight never talk about myself what
i do why i'm there and oftentimes at the end
as we're coming in for a landing They go, you
never said what you did. I said, I'm a comedian.
You're not that funny. I said, I'm off the clock.
Get your checkbook out. We'll yuck it up. One
of the leading questions I ask is, and this surprise
comes at the end. The leading questions I ask
is, if you ask a question about how somebody
feels about something, I believe is a powerful
question. If you ask about their emotional. or
whatever it is you're asking about. And one of
the questions, I've got to grab the cat again.
It's like she forgot she was up here. I ask,
what do you do for a living? And I'm an attorney.
And I go, do you enjoy that? And if there's a
pause, Michael, yeah, then I know they don't.
So the woman sitting next to me, I said, what
do you do for a living? She goes, I set up booths
at exhibit halls for conferences. I said, do
you like that? Pause. Yeah, it's not a bad job.
I go, here's the deal. What if I could wave a
magic wand and you could do anything you wanted?
I said, did your husband have a job? Good pay?
Yeah. If you quit tomorrow, would you guys survive?
Yeah. So if I could wave a magic wand, you could
make money doing anything you want to do. What
would it be? And I can't remember what she said.
However, a year later, I got an email. Frank,
I sat next to you on a flight to wherever it
was. And you ask me, what would I do if I could
do anything for a living? And she goes, I'm doing
it. So by just asking leading questions and especially
ones that evoke an emotion, how do you feel about
that? Do you enjoy that? And that was a surprise.
I flew next to a pilot once. He was the head
pilot for United Airlines or one of those. There
were two airlines merging. So they had two head
pilots. So somebody's going to lose a job. He's
on his way to Dallas to find out whether he was
going to take the job or not. Gets a job. I go,
man, what if the worst happens? And they blow
you out and they pick the other guy. If you could
do anything in the world you wanted, rather than
being the head pilot for United, what would it
be? Sous -chef. What? He'd been a sous -chef
in college and he'd... That was a surprise. And
by the way, Michael, I just realized I've got
a Zoom starting two minutes ago. Do you have
another question before we go? You know what?
I do. But you know what? Let me just close it
up by saying I can talk to you for another two
hours. OK, that goes without saying. But if somebody
wants to get hold of you, Frank, what's the best
way that they can do it? Oh, that's easy. MentalHealthComedian
.com. MentalHealthComedian .com. That's my brand.
That's my website. All the information is there,
email, phone number, calendar link. Beautiful,
Frank. Frank, I don't want to keep you from your
next Zoom meeting, but I had a great time talking
to you, and I'm going to keep you in mind in
case anybody needs that kind of help. I'm telling
you, I'm going to send them your way. Well, and
may I close out the podcast the way a comic would
do it? Absolutely. Okay. If you enjoyed this
podcast, please rate, review, and subscribe,
and tell your friends. If you did not enjoy this
podcast, we hope you have no friends. Thank you,
Frank. I'll talk to you soon. Well, hold on,
folks. Don't go anywhere. Let me just read a
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-U -P -K -I -D -S .org. Well, that's a wrap,
folks. A huge thank you to our special guests
for sharing such incredible insights today. And
of course, a big shout out to you, our amazing
listeners, for tuning in and spending your time
with us. Remember, networking isn't about being
perfect. It's about being present. So take what
you've learned today, get out there and make
some meaningful connections. If you enjoyed this
episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave us
a review and share it with someone who could
use a little networking inspiration. Let's keep
the conversation going. You can find me on Apple,
Spotify, YouTube or my website, Michael. Remember.
Until next time, keep practicing, keep connecting,
and keep building those relationships. This is
Michael signing off. Take care and happy networking.