Hello, and welcome to Networking Unleashed, building
profitable connections. Welcome back to the show,
folks. I'm your host, Michael Foreman, and you're
listening to the podcast where networking is
more than just awkward handshakes and bad coffee.
It's an art and a talent. But here's the twist.
It's an art and talent you can actually learn.
Yes, even if you're the person hiding in the
corner at every event, pretending to check emails.
Networking isn't just a nice skill to have, it's
a game changer. And when you get good at it,
you'll wonder why you didn't start sooner. More
connections, more opportunities, more profits.
It's like unlocking a cheat code for life. So
whether you're the life of the party or the just
let me stay at home and text type, we've got
something for you. So stick around and let's
turn those awkward small talk moments into big
wins. Now, I've got a guest today who I really
feel a kinship with. I was on his podcast recently,
but I feel like I've known Mike for years. I'd
like to introduce to you Mike Litton. And Mike
has over 31 years of experience in real estate,
finance, and investing. He's passionate about
being a father, a teacher, a realtor, an investor,
and a leader. And I want to tell you that with
my mortgage background and his mortgage background,
we could talk for three hours. But let me just
introduce Mike Linton and let him give you a
little bit more. Mike, how are you? Good, buddy.
How are you? Not bad. Why don't you tell us a
little bit about your background? So I've been
in real estate for 33 years now. That's actually
an old, that's some old material anyway. But
yeah, 33 years as of a couple of weeks ago. And
I got started in the business because I got turned
down for a home loan. So be careful saying no
to me, right? So I get going in real estate in
1992 in the mortgage business and I became really
successful in it. I became one of the nation's
top producers and year after year did really
well. And I worked really hard and I earned a
lot of the success that I had. But I also learned
a ton about. people and about specifically how
to work with people and how to work with them
better. Because not everybody that we come across
in this industry, not everybody that we come
across is necessarily a match for our behavioral
style. And so we have to adapt and overcome,
right? So 33 years. And I also, in 2000, went
to an annual event that the building industry
in San Diego puts on called the Bull and Bear.
And it's January of every year, and it's a dinner
that everybody goes to. And the bull gets up
and talks about how wonderful everything's going
to be, and the bear gets up and talks about how
terrible everything's going to be for that year.
And this one time in 2000, January 2000, these
two honyaks actually agreed on something. They
couldn't agree on the color of the sky, okay?
But they agreed on one thing, and that was that
we were running out of permittable land in San
Diego County. And I was 100 % builder. purchase
loans. So I, all of my loans, I was a builder
rep and all of my loans were purchase loans and
they were all builder. And I had close to 300
loans in my pipeline at the time. And I had a
baby at home and I had another one on the way.
And I got a chill from the top of my head to
the bottom of my feet. And I just went, okay,
I'm a big fish in an ever smaller pond, right?
And I need to diversify. So by the time that
year, 2000, was over, I had been pre -approved
and had been in application to buy and start
a Keller Williams Realty franchise. And so that
was my way of diversifying. I ended up starting
that in January of 2020 or 2001. And we started,
we were supposed to have 22 agents. We started
with four, partly because somebody that started
the company with me didn't know what truth meant.
And so we ended up with four and everybody went,
oh, you're going to fail. You'll never succeed.
And we ended up owning that office for 18 years.
And we had one of the largest real estate offices
in North America. And it was an amazing experience.
I loved every second of it. The thing that I
learned was I learned how to deal with a whole
lot of people with a whole lot of different personalities
and different agendas. And a lot of those agendas
didn't match, right? And so it was a real learning
experience. During that time in 2011, 2008, we
had the Great Recession. In 2011, it seemed like
everybody was losing their homes to foreclosure.
I was an REO broker. I was going out and knocking
on people's doors and telling them that they
didn't own the house anymore and that they needed
to move. And they would tell me, oh, no, that's
not possible because I just gave a law firm $9
,000 yesterday and they guaranteed me in writing
that I'd never lose my house to foreclosure.
That was the kind of thing we were dealing with.
I got so frustrated that I started a radio show
called The Real Estate Zone on 760 KFMB. We took
the least listened to hour they had their entire
weekend lineup and turned it into number one
in all of AM radio in eight weeks. And they told
me that hadn't happened in 34 years. So we did
it because we were telling the truth, Michael.
We were literally saving thousands and thousands
of homes from foreclosure. And so what ended
up from what came from all that was I ended up
on television, started my radio career, so to
speak, in San Diego and television, right? I've
been on ever since 2011. And one of the things
that I dearly loved was I dearly. loved getting
people's stories. I dearly loved meeting people
for the first time. I just, I dig people. You
know that. I think I hide it well, but you've
figured it out, right? So one of the things I
promised myself was I knew when I had a podcast
that I would go deep. I wouldn't have hard, you
know, commercial breaks. I wouldn't have network
breaks. I wouldn't have all the stuff that you
have in commercial radio because I literally
would just have time. And so what we do with
the Mike Litton experience is just like we did
with you. We get people's life stories. We start
with where they were born, go all the way up
to today. We've done 322 episodes in less than
19 months. And it's been amazing. It's been absolutely
amazing. We're heard in 60 countries worldwide,
6 -0 -60, which is still hard for me to imagine
when I say that. We've been listened to over
2 .35 million times, over 2 million downloads.
Crazy, just crazy. But it's been a riot. It's
been a great amount of fun. And I really thoroughly
enjoyed it. It sounds like you have the personality
to do everything that you're doing. That's why
I think you don't really think you're doing well
that well, but you are. But you're enjoying it
so much that you're just having fun and you're
doing well. So it's a good combination to have.
It's an absolute riot, man. It's just fun. Okay,
so let me ask you, how did you first discover
the power of asking questions in your personal
and professional life? Oh, God, great question.
So I'll tell you the personal one, and this is
a little embarrassing. I love those. Actually,
it's humiliating. It's humiliating, but I'm going
to tell you anyway. So I met a girl. In 1992.
And I fell in love with her and I decided I was
going to marry her and we were going to have
kids. And right. That was 32 years ago. So we
just celebrated our 31st wedding anniversary
a couple of months ago, January 5th. And we were
in premarital counseling and I went to our pastor
and I said, listen, by the way, he's one of the
nicest people you ever meet in your life. And
I said, you need to consider me a blank slate.
And he goes, what does that mean? And I said,
I haven't had a relationship with a girl that's
lasted more than 60 days. And I said, so I don't
know how to be in a relationship with a woman.
And I don't ever want to get divorced. So I need
you to help me be a husband. Teach me how to
be a husband. And so we're going through the
processes. We're going through the process. At
one point, my fiance at the time is now my wife,
gets up and runs out of his office crying. And
this man who is the sweetest heart of just about
anybody you've ever met other than my son looks
at me with the most exasperated look on his face.
And he says, Mike, you have to ask yourself a
question. I said, okay, what's that? He goes,
do you want to be married or do you want to be
right? Okay. Yep. And it was like, oh. Great
question. So I've asked myself that question
now, I don't know how many millions of times
over the last 31 years. But that's the that's
where I learned the power of questions in my
personal life. Okay. And I started and what it
did was it started this wildfire of, okay, if
that question works, let's ask some more. Let's
ask. questions that actually help us to bond
as a couple. Let's ask questions about that help
us plan for the future, all that kind of thing.
Yeah. So that was the power of questions of the
personal life. In the professional life, I took
the personal life experience and started using
it in my professional life. I became a better
loan officer. I became a better manager. I became
a better leader because I started asking questions
because ultimately I asked myself a different
question than I had personally, but it was, do
I want to be right? Or do I want to be in business
with this person? Do I want to be right? Or do
I want to have the opportunity to lead this person?
Okay. And what it did was it started me down
this road. In 2000, we bought this Keller Williams
franchise. One of the things that Keller Williams
requires is they require that you go through
a series of training in order to qualify to be
the owner of an operating principal of a market
center. And so I went through that training.
The biggest part of that training is how to ask
effective questions, like how to sit with people
and how to actually have a conversation with
them when you're recruiting them, when you're
getting to know them. When you have people that
are in your charge that work for you and right.
When you're interviewing potential employees,
the whole thing. And so I'm conflict resolution,
the whole deal. And so I learned basically from
that one question in premarital counseling, which
by the way, he said was the most excruciating
experience of his life. It wasn't because of
my wife, man. Yeah. I'm a lot, Michael. I'm sure
you are. I know you've met me, but I'm a lot,
man. Yeah. So it basically grew from there. And
then several years after we bought the franchise
and started with Keller Williams, they taught
a class called the Consulting Clinic. And Bev
Steiner, who's still with Keller Williams, she's
a regional owner and operating principal and
all that. She's just an amazing woman. She taught
this class at the La Costa Resort. And I'll never
forget this. And she had all of us get up and
she had us stand up. And we were to ask each
other questions, okay? And the first person who
answered a question had to sit down, okay? So
there's a room, if you can imagine, 150, 200
people, okay? And all of them get up and they
start asking each other questions. And very quickly,
the group of 200 shrunk down to about 10, okay?
And she's like, all right, all right. Those of
you that are still standing, sit down. You're
just showing off. By the way, that group that
was still standing, right? And so it was something
where questions were encouraged, but they were
encouraged as a way to communicate and a way
to deepen your relationship with each other.
And that was something that really resonated
with me. Very good. And I have to give some acclaim
to your pastor. I've been married going to be
36 years. come May. And he is so right. He is
so right. And I take that to heart. I really
do. They've gone on since our premarital counseling,
they've gone on to write and publish over 40
books on marriage and family. They're some of
the foremost experts in the world on the subject.
And we were very fortunate. They hadn't written
a single book when they did our premarital counseling.
But when they talk about Mike and Mimi in their
books, Mike and Mimi. They're talking about us.
And I'm like, are you sure you're not talking
about a cautionary tale? What not to do? And
they're like, oh, we use you as an example of
what to do. I said, wow. Let me ask you a question.
How long was it before Mimi came back into the
room? You said she stormed off crying. That's
a good question. It was probably 30 minutes.
It was probably close to 30 minutes. Because
one of the things that happened was he looked
at me with the most exasperated look on his face.
He asked me that question. And then he goes,
stay here. And he leaves. I was in his office
with, at the time, there were three of us, right?
Now, all of a sudden, I'm sitting there with
my thoughts, right? I'm the only one there. And
he went to go find her. And he talked with her.
outside for 30 minutes. And then she calmed down
and she came back in. And I think he was afraid
she wasn't coming back. I really, he's probably
there convincing her to come back. Do you like,
come on back. I'll show you. All right. Okay.
What's one question every leader should ask their
team regularly? Oh, wow. Great question. Great
question. I believe, and again, this is my opinion,
okay, but I believe that every leader should
ask their team on a regular basis, how are we
doing? How are we doing as a company in supporting
you? Is there anything that we're missing that
you need? Is there anything in particular that
you would need us to provide so that you can
succeed at a higher level? Do you feel fulfilled?
Okay, because ultimately, It's not about the
leader. It's about who they're leading, and it's
about how they feel about what's going on with
the company, okay? So I'm going to give you an
example. So we're writing a book on the power
of questions, just full disclosure, right? We're
actually writing seven books, we found out, as
I shared with you before we hit record. We're
actually writing seven books. One of them, the
first one's on the power of questions. And the
idea is you have to care enough to ask, okay?
So Scott Mann, who's a retired Lieutenant Colonel
of Green Beret, wrote a book called Nobody's
Coming to Save You, Green Beret's Guide to Getting
Big Stuff Done. It's not stuff, but it's, you
know, right. It's a G -rated show, right? So
he tells this story of this company that hired
him to come in and be their speaker at their
annual meeting. And there's hundreds of people
sitting in the audience, large company, large
group of people. And the CEO gets up and says,
I'm going to introduce Scott Mann, our speaker
here in a minute, but I wanted to go through
a real quick slide deck and catch you up to speed
on where we are as a company. He looked out into
the audience and the CEO had just started with
his presentation. He looked out in the audience,
Scott did, and all of his people were on their
phones. He had lost them. And it had been a matter
of seconds, Michael. Absolutely. Matter of seconds.
Yep. Now, I would submit to you that if that
same CEO had gotten up and said, hey, I'm going
to introduce Scott Mann here in a minute, but
I wanted to go through this slide deck real quick
and share with you where we are as a company.
Let me ask you a question. You're out there on
the firing line every day. You're the ones that
are out there making us successful. How do you
think we did this year? What do you think this
slide deck is going to say? Does anybody want
to take a guess? All you have to do, Michael,
is get one or two people to raise their hands.
That's all you have to do. Enter into a dialogue
with them, okay? It's this tribal mentality that
if one person in the audience is talking to the
speakers talking to all of them, okay? They're
paying attention. They're not looking on their
phone. They're rubbernecking to try to figure
out if they know who that person is that is talking
directly to the CEO because they haven't had
a chance to and they want to. It literally comes
down to your ability as a leader to engage your
people. Okay. I interviewed a lady the other
day that worked for Whataburger for 20 some years.
And she had a CEO that she basically worked directly
for him. Okay. So I call her my CEO whisperer.
Okay. She said he would go into meetings with
people that were two and three levels below him.
And he would sit with them and he'd take a pad
of paper in and he'd close the door and he'd
ask them, so how are we doing? How are you doing?
What's helping you to succeed here? What do you
need to help you succeed here? And this man,
the CEO, would take notes. Do you know what happens
when you ask people about themselves and they
tell you about themselves? What happens? You
bond. They bond with you. Because that's their
favorite subject. Now, grandparents and parents
will tell you that their favorite subject is
their kids and their grandkids. It's not true.
The reason why their kids and their grandkids
are their favorite subject is because it's them.
They're an extension of them, right? They are
the fruits of their life. Make sense? Okay. And
all the investment that they've made raising
those kids and grandkids. But their absolute
favorite person to talk about is themselves.
So all you have to do is ask people about themselves,
and they will literally pour into you what's
going on with them. You just have to care enough
to ask, right? They will tell you what's going
on with them. If you sit there and take notes,
do you know what happens? What? You validate
them. Of course, yes. 1 ,000%. What you're describing.
Yes, it's a leader. I go through a whole thing
of saying the difference between leaders and
bosses. And a leader teaches leaders. Bosses
just shout commands. So a leader is teaching
leaders to lead. And the only way they learn
is by listening to them. You had so many things
that hit the nail on the head in so many different
areas, I couldn't keep up. Okay. And that's all
I can come out and tell you. Okay. So now let
me just one second, just bring this back to your
spouse just a little bit. How can asking the
right questions improve communication between
spouses? It's actually very simple. It's a great
question, but it's very simple. And it comes
back to the same thing we were just talking about.
So if you ask your spouse about how they feel.
about a particular decision, or you ask them
how they feel about the way that you treated
them at a party, or you ask them how they feel
about your communication with them, it gives
them an opportunity to share with you how they're
feeling and they feel validated, okay? They feel
like they're more of a part of that relationship
than they ever have been. I'll give you an example.
Years ago, I was teaching a class on the DISC,
which is basically behavioral assessment, behavioral
traits, right? And I've been teaching it now
for 33 years. But it was about 30 years ago,
and I'm standing up in front of a group of people.
And as I'm standing up there talking, and I'm
teaching it, my mind went to, I've never had
this conversation with my wife. So I went home
and I sat with my wife that night and I said,
listen, do you mind if I ask you a question?
She said, sure. I said, what do you think your
behavioral style is? She goes, I have no idea.
I said, would it surprise you to know that you're
an SC? S is stable. They don't like change. They're
real steady. Okay. A C is conforming. They follow
every rule. Okay. I'm a D. I am 1000 % a D. In
fact, they sent out a search party 30 years ago
for the other three. behavioral styles and they
still haven't come back it's not good right it's
i'm all d man usually people are a mixture of
those things not me i am that's it i am right
and here's the thing so i shared with her i said
listen there isn't a single thing in my life
that doesn't change on a regular basis which
is her greatest fear change and there's and i
always want to bend and or break every rule i
come across and all you want to do is follow
them her favorite thing to say to me is you can't
do it that way. And she wags her finger when
she says it. Okay. And I said that just, and
she goes, what does all that mean? I said, all
that means is that you're perfect for me. And
she started crying. Okay. Now I asked her, why
are you crying? She said, because I didn't understand
until right now, how much you actually get me,
how much you appreciate me. That works. I can't
say anything about that. Okay, so let's switch
a little bit and say, how do you use questions
to build meaningful connections at networking
events? Great question. So what I do is I try
to find something about that person that's interesting,
okay? And it might be their shirt. It might be
the way that they cut their hair. It might be
a piece of jewelry. It could be anything. I'm
one of those people that, and I don't know if
you know this, but there are a lot of people
that think that if you notice a woman's shoes,
you must be not necessarily a man or manly or
whatever. That's not necessarily the case. If
they've got a particularly attractive pair of
shoes on, I'm going to say something. Okay. I
oftentimes will say something about their nails
and it'll be something along the lines of my
daughter had her nails done. She's 24 and she's
all that in a bag of chips. Right. She had her
nails done and they're similar in color to what
you had done. Right. And I just think they're
gorgeous. They just, they just really pop. Right.
That kind of thing. Right. And so I'll get into
a conversation with them about. Or I'll get into
a conversation with them about something they
said at the networking event or they were whatever,
right? And we'll get into a conversation and
we'll start talking about what they do, where
they work, why they work there, how happy they
are, that kind of thing. And then at some point
I'll say, so when you're not working, what do
you do for fun? Okay. Now, a lot of people think.
If you ask that, you're like coming onto them
or something. And that's not the case. You're
just getting to know them outside of business,
okay? And one of the ways that you're going to
get to know somebody in a deeper way, in a more
meaningful way, is to get away from the necessary
business stuff and start talking about the stuff
that they want to talk about, which is their
kids, their spouse, their house, their vacations,
whatever. And sports, what are they into? What
are they, that kind of thing. And so we'll get
into conversations about that, but I'll ask them
about them. Easy way to remember something like
that. Cause I use all of that you're saying,
which is probably no surprise to you, but I use
it, but I have something that I use called form
F O R M family, occupation, recreation. and a
message. Everything you just said, you can sum
up into that word and you can draw from it whenever
you can. And I too, when I'm speaking to a woman,
a girl or something, I'll notice her nails. I'll
say my wife does it exactly the same way, or
she chooses the same color. So you're letting
them know that, hey, you're not interested in
that way, but you're actually talking about.
their shoes, their nails or something else. And
you just talk to conversation. That's a very
good way of doing it. What question do you recommend
professionals ask their mentors or supervisors?
You touched on this before, but with the pad
and the pen and he, the CEO was actually genuinely
interested, but. Give me a question or something
that you can ask a mentor or ask your supervisor
that will help you. How can I add value to you?
Perfect. What can I do right now that I haven't
been doing where I can add value to you? Because
people respond to it, okay? Leaders respond to
the people that are working for them. being enthusiastic
about helping. Mentors. So one of the things
that I think is a real misnomer for people and
where they miss the mark a lot of times with
mentors is mentors want to give back. So this
lady I was telling you about that was at the
screening on Saturday, and I told you I was channeling
you, okay? One of the things that I mentioned
to her was, or one of the things she said to
me was, she said, I'm working on an SBA loan.
And I said, great. What's your business plan
look like? And she goes, I don't have one. And
I said, do you know you have to have one for
an SBA loan? And she said, no. And I said, here's
what I would suggest. Go talk to the Service
Corps of Retired Executives. And she said, the
what? I said, the Service Corps of Retired Executives.
Score, right? And I looked it up and I sent her
the link. I'm not joking. Right there, standing
there, right there. And the idea behind it is
these retired executives want to help you. They're
part of this. They volunteer for this in order
to give back, okay? The thing that sets you apart
from other people that are out there, there are
a lot of people out there that will approach
a mentor and say, hey, can I take you to lunch?
Hey, can I pick your brain? Do you have any idea
how many people come to me and ask me if they
can pick my brain? And do you know what my response
is? Absolutely. It's slim pickings. It won't
take very long. Okay. I have three brain cells
left and you're welcome to them. Okay. But if
you walk up to somebody and you say, I want to
pick your brain, what does that say? It just
says, I want to take whatever's left of you and
I want you to give it to me. Okay. Don't do it
that way. Walk up to a mentor and go, what can
I do to help you right now? What can I do? Because
I want you to mentor me, but I don't want this
to be a one -way street. I want to be able to
help you. Is there anything you can think of
that I can do? Can I raise money for your foundation?
Can I help your kids? Can I help your kids' school?
What can I do to give back? Now, by the way,
just so you know, be prepared that the answer
may be nothing, but the fact that you asked...
The fact that you asked and you offered, that
will go miles with these people because they
deal with people all the time that are like,
what can I get from you? What can I get from
you? What can I get from you? What? Why would
you start a relationship out like that? That's
probably the best suggestion or the best thing
to ask. It's probably the best piece of advice
I can give to my listeners right now. Just what
you just said, because that gives both sides
of the equation. It gives you something to offer
as well as take it. So listen, you always think
to give and not receive. Okay. So if you were
the mentor, you're always looking to give. But
if somebody came to me and asked me that question,
my whole feeling would change on the whole thing.
So that was the best piece of advice. that I
can think that you can give. Okay. Can you share
an example of how a well -crafted question helped
you overcome a challenge? Wow. Absolutely. Absolutely.
So three months ago, a very good friend of ours
passed away. He was six years younger than me.
It was a sudden, he died at home by himself,
heart attack. And he was somebody, I'm not joking,
Michael, if you had met him, you'd have thought,
this guy will live to be 150, easy, okay? At
52, he passed away. And his 14 -year -old son
just lost his way. He was already headed down
a road that was not a good one. And when his
dad passed away, catapulted into the absolute
wrong way. And I'm good friends with his godfather.
His godfather was the one that introduced me
to his dad. And so we were all, the three of
us were friends and our friends. And I'm sitting
with his godfather and he's telling me about
the kid and they put the kid in a military academy
and all this kind of stuff. And the kid's 14.
And so I asked him, I said, so what's your conversation
like with him? What's your, what are you, right?
And he said, he doesn't want to talk to me. The
last time I saw him, he called the police on
me and all this kind of thing. And it was really
bad. And I said, okay. I said, you've got to
go sit with him and you've got to go have a conversation.
And the conversation needs to be, talk to me,
tell me how you're feeling. Tell me what's going
on. Tell me what's wrong. talk to me, share with
me how you're feeling, share with me what's going
on because it's all bottled up inside of him.
And I said, and it's festering and it's getting
worse. It's just awful. And so he went and he
met with him three times. I gave him sample questions,
the whole thing, and he couldn't get anywhere
with the kid. In fact, he felt like he went backwards.
So he called me up and he said, listen, it's
desperation time. I think I'm losing him. He
said, I feel like you're the only person on the
planet that can reach this kid. Will you come
have dinner with us? We're going to take him
to dinner Saturday night. Will you come have
dinner with us and see if you can reach him?
So I sat down with him and I said, let me ask
you, let me ask you a question. Are you happy
right now? He's no. So, okay. What would be,
where would you have to be happy? Because I know
he doesn't like the military academy. He's in,
he hates it. And I said, so where would you need
to, because this high school, this high school
is okay. How do you get there from here? How
do we put a plan together to get you from here,
from where you are now, to where you're happy?
And he said, stop. And he turns to his godparents
and he turns to his mother and he goes, what
is this? Why am I here? Who is this? What is
this? Why is he asking me all these questions?
Okay. Defense mechanism. The wall went up. Okay.
I said, listen to me. I knew your dad. I was
fond of your dad. You don't remember this, but
you and I spent Easter together a couple of years
ago, okay? I was fond of your father. And I know
that if your father was here, he would want you
to be happy. I'm here because of your dad. And
I'm here to try to help you. So if you'll work
with me, we'll put a plan together, you and I
together, okay? Just you and I. I'll never judge
you. No matter what you say, I'm not going to
judge you, okay? And we're going to, if you're
okay with it, we'll put a plan together. You
just have to work with me. Right. And so we kept
talking. We ended up exchanging phone numbers.
We're now working together. He's now behaving.
He's doing what he's supposed to be doing. He
went off to spring break last week with his mother
and his brother. And he was a good kid. He was
the kid that she knew before. Okay. He didn't
call anybody. He didn't call police. He didn't
do any of that stuff. Didn't lie. Didn't get
upset. He's really behaving correctly. He's starting
to understand all this. And all of it's coming
from questions. All of it's coming from, how
are you grieving for your dad? What was your
relationship like with your dad when you were
growing up? And here's the thing, Michael, nobody
ever asked that kid any questions. That's why
when I got into the third question with him,
he stopped and turned to everybody and went,
what is this? Like he's being ambushed or something,
okay? Everybody just ordered him around. He told
me that his childhood with his dad was like living
with a drill instructor. His dad was a Marine.
Once a Marine, always a Marine, right? You mentioned
it earlier when you said there are bosses and
there are leaders. Bosses order people around
and they expect them and require that they just
do what they were told. Leaders go in and sit
with somebody and say, listen, we are here and
we need to be here, right? How do we get from
here to here? You're our expert. You're the person
on the firing line every day. You're the one
making us successful. How do we get here? Great.
How do you? factor into this? What can you do
to help us get there? Are we being unrealistic,
right? Okay. And what happens is they get engaged.
They feel like they're part of the process. They
feel like they're, and it's, they feel like it's
part of their decision, right? Because it's,
they're owning it. Okay. This kid is putting
a plan together to put his family back together.
And he asked me a very poignant question that
a 14 year old would ask you, right? He's like,
why do I have to put the plan together? I said,
I could do it. I could put the plan together
and hand it to you. But if I put it together
and I hand it to you, who owns it? He goes, you
do. I said, if you put it together and hand it
to me, who owns it? He goes, I do. I go, who
needs to own it? He goes, I do. All of a sudden,
okay, you literally as a parent and as a friend,
okay, you can pull so much out of these kids.
If you just ask. teenagers love to do the Heisman.
We call it the Heisman. They love to say, talk
to the hand. The last thing in the world you
can do, the worst thing in the world you can
do as a parent is just throw up your hands and
go whatever and walk out the door. Okay. You
need to stand your ground. You need to care enough
to ask. Okay. Period. And you're going to lose
that kid. If you walk out that door because you
just proved to them through your actions, not
your words, through your actions, that you care
more about yourself than you do about them. That's
how you lose your kid. And by the way, there
are people out there that will care more about
your kid and the kid will find them. And typically
they don't have their best interest at heart.
That's more of an answer than you wanted. I get
it, but. No, that's right. That's right. Which
actually. You answered pretty much my next question
all in one. Okay, to wrap things up, okay, what's
one question my listeners should start asking
today to enhance their networking skills? That's
a great question. I would say is this, if you're
going to a networking event, ask yourself this
question, what do I want out of that event? And
what am I willing to accept before I leave? What's
my goal? And what's my minimum amount? Or in
other words, if your goal is to meet eight people,
then you need eight people and eight people's
contact information before you leave tonight.
Okay? But ask yourself that question. The other
thing that you want to do, pardon me, the other
thing you want to do is you want to ask the people
that are in the networking event, What do you
do for a living? And how can I help you? How
can I help you succeed? Okay. It's all about,
it's just like when we were talking about mentoring,
right? Because what's going to happen is when
you go to these networking events, you're going
to meet people from all walks of life. You're
going to meet people from different industries,
right? And different life stories and different
sets of, we call them frames of reference, right?
They have life experiences that have helped them
to look at the world the way they look at it
now. They can teach you a lot. They can teach
you a lot. You can help them in the process,
right? Just figure out a way to ask them, what's
your single biggest challenge right now? And
how can I help you with it? It's great because,
again, you've hit so many different things on
that one answer. Because you, first of all, whenever
you go to a networking event, you always look
to give rather than receive. But the main question,
the main thing that you would ask, that I would
ask, if I was talking to you and we were sitting
in a networking table, I would say, how can I
make you more successful? How can I be a good
referral source for you? And I say this and do
this without you even knowing what I do. But
I am there to give rather than receive. Mike,
I have to tell you, I could go on for three hours
talking to you, but I'm afraid we can't do that
on this podcast. So if anybody wants to get hold
of you, either A, talking about a book, coaching,
mentoring, or just to say hi, how would they
get hold of you? So it's really easy to get me
on LinkedIn. My cell phone number and my email
address are on LinkedIn. So when you hit the
contact info for me, you don't just get a LinkedIn
link. By the way, that's a recommendation for
the people that are listening to this. If you're
on LinkedIn and you want to do business, don't
send people on a loop, okay? If you put your
contact information where it says contact info
instead of a link back to your profile, all they're
doing is going back. Come on, man. So you can
message me through there. Of course, you're welcome
to send me an email. You're welcome to call me.
Like I said, my cell phone number's on there.
You can also reach me. You can just type in the
Mike Litton experience in Google and there's
all kinds of ways to get me. I'm at reo760 .com,
the whole thing. Super easy to get ahold of.
Mike, thanks a lot for coming on the podcast.
And I really had a good time. I did too. Well,
hold on, folks. Don't go anywhere. Let me just
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-U -P -K -I -D -S dot org. Well, that's a wrap,
folks. A huge thank you to our special guests
for sharing such incredible insights today. And
of course, a big shout out to you, our amazing
listeners, for tuning in and spending your time
with us. Remember, networking isn't about being
perfect. It's about being present. So take what
you've learned today, get out there and make
some meaningful connections. If you enjoyed this
episode. don't forget to subscribe, leave us
a review, and share it with someone who could
use a little networking inspiration. Let's keep
the conversation going. You can find me on Apple,
Spotify, YouTube, or my website, michaelaforman
.com. Remember, until next time, keep practicing,
keep connecting, and keep building those relationships.
This is Michael A. Foreman signing off. Take
care and happy networking.