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Hello, and welcome to Networking Unleashed, Building Profitable Connections.

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Welcome to the show.

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I'm Michael Forman, and you're listening to the podcast where networking is more than

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just awkward handshakes and bad coffee.

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It's an art and a talent.

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But here's the twist.

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It's an art and talent you can actually learn.

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Yes, even if you're the person hiding in the corner at every event pretending to check

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emails.

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Nowworking isn't just a nice skill to have.

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It's a game changer.

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When you get good at it, you'll wonder why you didn't start sooner.

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More connections, more opportunities, more profits.

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It's like unlocking a cheat code for life.

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So whether you're the life of the party or the let me just stay in the corner and text

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type, we've got something for you.

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So stick around.

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Let's turn those awkward small talk moments into big wins.

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Now I have a guest today.

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His name is Chris Abdi, and I have a short intro for him, but I'm going to let him introduce

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himself and you'll get a better feeling of what he's about.

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His bio, well, what he asked me to tell you about him.

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He wanted to know if you're caught in an endless loop of I'll start tomorrow.

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Say hello to Chris Abdi, a seasoned procrastination coach with a lack of transforming hesitation

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into action.

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And I'm going to bring up as a simple poem.

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I told you this last time that my mother told me.

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Procrastination is my sin.

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It brings me endless sorrow.

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I really must stop doing it.

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In fact, I'll stop tomorrow.

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Okay, Chris, take her away.

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Oh, thank you.

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Thank you, Michael.

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And thank you for having me on the show.

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Yeah, as a procrastination coach, I do feel that sometimes we don't pay enough attention

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to it as such, but the house and the why has really brought me back to, you know, I've always

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wanted to help people in some way.

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My mother was a psychiatric nurse for many years.

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My father had many different professions always, you know, and in that capacity of helping others,

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whether it was, you know, the military or he was a paramedic for a while and very, very

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brilliant man.

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And so I, you know, wanted to, I've always wanted to help people like that.

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So we fast forward to my high school days and I'm sure everybody can relate to this

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one.

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And then my last two years of high school, I had, you know, to do 12 art projects.

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And what happened was, well, I obviously I left into the last minute because I didn't

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think art was really that important.

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So I was scrambling around in my garage, you know, it was probably about seven or eight

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p.m. on the Sunday before the Monday morning, which was going to be a full on art exam,

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like exhibit.

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You can actually look this up.

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We were in the paper, small paper, but still.

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So there was a lot of pressure on this, right?

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But you know, I did it and I walked in there and let me ask you, Michael, what do you think

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the result was of that?

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Maybe you saw that putting things off wasn't the best idea.

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That's what you would think.

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But a series of fortunate events led me to actually the proctor was from another school,

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so they didn't know me, didn't know that I just completely slacked off for the entire

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two years.

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They started talking about the art as soon as he came in.

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I just shut my yeah.

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He's like, oh, I really love how you use these, you know, unconventional materials, but you

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didn't go too far overboard.

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I love how this one rep seems to represent this.

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And you know, you're absolutely right.

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And my saving grace, I think was where he asked, you know, he said, oh, this is very

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reminiscent of pathetic art.

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I think I can work with this.

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And so I said, you're right, because in today's society, you know, is not the striving for

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perfection and mediocrity because everybody's doing it.

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And you know, bing bang boom, I pass with almost the same grade or maybe slightly better

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than the guy that busted his hump for two years and had extra art lessons and all this

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extra help put on him.

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And so it actually kind of gave me a minor God complex at that age, you know, going

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out into the world, oh, I'll just, you know, I'll leave to the last second.

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I'll pull a rabbit out of my hat.

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It'll be fine.

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Right.

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And it works like that until it doesn't.

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And then, you know, fast forward into my adult life.

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And you know, I was always striving along the way I lost that dream when I was younger.

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So I got caught up in the rat race, almighty dollar sort of thing, you know, customer service.

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Then I went to, you know, management, then I went to project management, business development.

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Then I went to, well, even at the end, you know, financial risk analysis.

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But the commonality between all the students is I was always working with people, right?

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You know, guiding them through burnout, you know, stress, overwhelm, signs of procrastination,

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right?

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But procrastination really holds that, that part for me because of what happened to me

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in high school.

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And also, I know how detrimental it can be as well because it robbed me of my last conversation

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with my mother, too.

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You know, we knew she was dying and because it was uncomfortable for me, you know, I just

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put it off, always had better things to do.

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And put it on the calendar and for the Monday.

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And depending on who you want to believe, it's still kind of a blur to me, honestly.

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I don't know the exact time anymore.

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But sometime between that Sunday night and the wee hours on Monday morning, she passed.

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So I know that it can have that detrimental effect as well.

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So that's really why I honed in on procrastination.

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Sometimes you need that kick in the pants to get you straightened out.

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And it sounds like that was your kick in the pants.

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So listen, whatever the reason is, it got you moving in the right direction.

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And I think you're a lot better for it.

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But judging by what you said by procrastinating or by not procrastinating, how would you

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network with other people?

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How do you keep networking and what's your commonality of networking?

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Right.

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So for networking, I never really procrastinate.

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Actually, that's not true.

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That's not true.

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I want it to be true, but it's not true.

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I'm sorry.

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I told a lie.

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A little white lie.

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I told them myself, I don't procrastinate on that.

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I'm like, well, maybe I do.

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So in one sense, I procrastinate.

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In another sense, I don't.

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So in terms of my networking, my online networking, which I've always been more comfortable with,

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I don't procrastinate that at all.

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But I do find myself procrastinating a little bit on my networking in person because any

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number of reasons, the main one being convenience normally.

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So getting better at that one, but normally I don't procrastinate when it comes to that.

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So what do you consider the key elements of networking?

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Well, the key elements of networking are, well, for me, they would be, know yourself

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first, know how you connect and how you interact with people, and then know how to know other

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people and then go out and actually start meeting people.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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Well, you, it sounds like you have a certain fear.

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You're slightly introverted and you prefer doing everything online instead of going in

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person.

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Right?

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Am I right so far?

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Yeah.

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Yeah, pretty right.

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Okay.

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So how would you or how do you overcome the fear of networking?

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Right.

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So that actual fear of the fear of networking is actually twofold for me and I know I'll

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do a little bit of a sidebar when it comes to that.

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The fear for me hasn't really been about, before it's what we call the which one, right?

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You know, that fear of being judged, you know, like, what are you doing?

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I mean, as a coach and being in the space now, you hear a lot of stuff, right?

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Like, the first thing is, oh, procrastination coach, well, you know, do you want me to

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get over it?

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Do you want me to do it better?

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Like, well, what are you doing?

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Right?

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And then you have those other little, you know, gremlins that get in there, those doubts

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right of people who are close to you, they're supposed to be your supporters and they might

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not always support you.

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So there's, there's multi-faces to that.

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But the way that I get over it is, I mean, I go out and do it and the fear of being

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like judged to the which one I actually work on actively by, you're going to laugh about

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this one, but it's true.

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I'm sure there's pictures of me out there on the internet doing it too.

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I have this little duck hat.

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So when I feel like I'm being judged, you know, I'll go out and wear this duck hat for the

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sole purpose and it's got these little feet, you squeeze it and waves.

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So I'll just go out and wave at people all day, right?

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And I'm like, well, if I can do that all day and still feel all right about it, I can probably

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go out and tell people what I actually do.

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All right, I can go with that.

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I can go with that.

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While you're, you're, you're going out and you're, you're doing this networking, whether

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you're doing it through your introverted ways or extrovert sometimes, I'm sure you've made

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mistakes.

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So what is your, what was your biggest mistake and how did you overcome it?

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Honestly, my biggest mistake and this is, this has been, this is a common recurring

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theme actually.

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My biggest mistake was just not being authentic.

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One of the things that I learned on really early was that I was a chameleon just because

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of the way that I was brought up.

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So I would, you know, I would mirror people quite a bit, which sometimes works and sometimes

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doesn't.

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Right?

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And then what, you know, I, yeah, I guess that's pretty much it.

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So that's, that's the biggest mistake is just not being yourself.

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So I mean, I remember going to Las Vegas on a, on a company trip once, right?

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And you know, I'd never been to Vegas.

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I'm not really, you know, I wasn't really a gambler, wasn't really, you know, into the

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other sort of nightlife stuff.

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But lo and behold, when I got sitting with a bunch of guys over there, right, you know,

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we were talking about things, oh yeah, yeah, I love that.

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Let's, let's, you know, let's go see that show or whatever.

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Right?

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Yeah.

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And it was, it's just, I probably could have saved myself a couple of hours of really awkward

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things, but you know, I did it because I wanted to be liked by the guys, right?

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Okay.

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Okay.

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But okay.

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So, so give me your, your top three strategies for networking.

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So you give it, you've given me everything you've done so far, but give me your top three

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strategies that you use today for networking.

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Right.

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My top three strategies for today, I'm a big fan of non-marketing marketing.

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I, I like to say ABN, always be more, always be networking.

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So I'll even go out and, you know, I'll do, I'll go to, you know, I'll sign up the book

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clubs, I'll, you know, go out to the library and just see what other people are reading,

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try to strike up conversations that way.

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See anywhere there's people, I'll try to, and again, I don't do this from a perspective

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of trying to gain business.

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I just do this from a perspective of trying to get to know people.

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But a lot of people, you know, when you're standing in a grocery store and someone says,

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oh, these lines, they never open up, you know, the two checkouts.

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Yeah, you're right.

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They never do.

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Just, just silly things like that.

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Hey, we got five minutes.

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So, you know, I should tell me about something about that.

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Well, you know, when you, when you meet people, whether you're at a networking event or online

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and department store or grocery store, there's a, still a mantra, know you like you trust

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you, then they'll do business with you.

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Now you could do business or just get to know you, but still you have to go through those

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first stages before the trust factor comes in.

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And as we said before, know you, that's pretty simple because you're a nice guy.

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Everybody knows you like you.

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That narrows the field down just a little bit, but know you like you and then trust

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you.

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Trust is such a crucial part of networking, whether it's personal or business, but it's

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still a crucial part.

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How would you maintain those relationships?

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You told me how you get those relationships, whether they're superficial or not, but how

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do you maintain the relationships that you want to maintain?

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So the way that I maintain relationships that I want to maintain, normally what will happen

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is I have a few touch points and I always try to get, you know, either a virtual coffee

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or a real coffee out of it, right?

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Sometimes it always work out and sometimes it falls by the wayside, but normally what

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it looks like is, oh, hey, you know, do you use WhatsApp, do you use, you know, Telegram,

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whatever it is, you know, let's look into that.

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I usually find that, you know, some commonality, right?

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Like they have some sort of club.

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If they don't, well, then I just say, you know, go to the virtual, you know, coffee

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route or whatever, but it doesn't always work out because I'll have to admit my follow-ups

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aren't always as good as they should be from those interactions because they just happened

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out of the blue anyway.

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Well, you know, follow-up, I profess that follow-up is just as, if not more important,

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then the initial contact, okay?

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So it's the way that you follow up.

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I have a secret sauce, the way that I follow up with business contacts, keeping it professional.

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So within two weeks, I contact you in a certain way or two certain ways and it usually gains,

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gets me pretty favorable results.

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But the follow-up is key.

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Give me one tip that you would give somebody looking to improve their networking skills.

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Well, obviously my biggest one is I would just be authentic, just be you because eventually

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it's going to come out anyway that, you know, you're pushing something off and when it does,

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then you have to rebuild the sort of trust factor, right?

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So I'm just saying you like sushi when you don't.

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Been there, done that multiple times.

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Let's go for sushi.

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I hate sushi.

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Yeah, let's do it.

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I'll go and eat a California roll or something maybe.

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But it's right.

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Right.

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Yeah, it's true.

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Being authentic is really the key to be present, to be yourself.

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All of that is part of the confidence building that you normally try to have before you even

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meet somebody.

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So you have to first start with that confidence, confidence in yourself.

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If you're, excuse me, if you're not confident, then the people you're talking to usually

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can see that and they'll go right past you.

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So that's all very important.

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So you have the confidence building, you have the building of the trust.

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All of that really comes into how you network professionally, not just personally.

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But with everything that you've told me so far, what's your favorite marketing tactic?

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Actually, this one, this one's something I don't really share often and I'm wondering

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if I should because, you know, if I do, then people are going to understand it and they

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may not do it as much.

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But there's a psychological aspect of something and somebody taught me this a long time ago

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and it's kind of applied to dating, but I sort of, you know, mimicked it to the network

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when I'm talking to people.

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And it's, you know, you teach somebody something and they're going to, you know, they're going

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to trust you a little more when they use that thing.

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Well, I sort of dumbed it down a little bit.

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And so let's say I'm in that grocery line again, right?

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So if I know the line's big, and this always happens to me at the grocery store anyway.

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So when I know the line's long and we've had that interaction and I'm like, normally,

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you know, maybe I've got a cart, maybe I don't, man, you know what, I left the pickles in

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the aisle, can you watch my cart for me?

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So I get back.

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And you know, normally if I've, you know, done a good job of talking to them, they say

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yes.

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If they say yes, I've noticed that they are more likely to ask me for my contact information

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after without actually giving them anything.

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That's really a good way.

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Always have the person ask you instead of you offering it up.

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You know, it's the same way when you go to networking events, I'll use that as a whole.

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You're always looking to give rather than receive.

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So you're always looking to give them whatever information that they want.

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And if you're authentic enough, if you're real, if you're present enough, then they'll

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in turn ask you for your contact information.

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You know, when I was in the mortgages and I was online at a grocery store, I'd hear

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a conversation behind me about mortgages, the rates, the, the, they can't find the

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right property or this or that.

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There's some sort of a problem.

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And I turn around, I give them an answer to their problem and I turn back around.

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And if I presented that properly, they would say, wait a second, what about this?

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And that's all you're looking to do.

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And the same way is if you're meeting somebody and you're giving your, your 30 second elevator

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pitch, you don't give out the whole pitch.

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You give out just enough so they ask you for the information.

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But that's a very good, good thing.

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So let me bring this all the way around.

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Give me one takeaway that my listeners can use right now.

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In terms of networking.

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It's up to you.

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Give me what?

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Yes.

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Let's keep it to network.

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Okay.

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All right.

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So the one takeaway that you can start doing today, I'm going to go back and beat it with

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like a dead horse, you know, be authentic.

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Barring that if you can get them to, and it depends on how much trust you're willing

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to put out here because the gentleman that actually, you know, put forth this idea, not

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mine, but he said you give them your wallet and you let them hold it for five seconds.

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And I'm like, okay, wow, that's a little bit more than I'm willing to go, but we push

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to get just a little bit too much.

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Yeah.

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So, but I mean, if you can get them to, you know, accept that tiny, tiny responsibility,

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it means that, that you're in and they will say generally they'll say yes to, you know,

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a second coffee meeting at least, right?

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Or something, maybe a book club meeting or whatever meeting you want to go to.

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So that actionable step is something they can do today is actually three actionable

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steps that are pretty easy to do.

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If you don't want to do that, there's still active listening.

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So listen to what other people are saying, you know, be a make it about them and not

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about you.

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And then that second one would be don't offer any information unless asked for it, which

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is pretty easy.

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You just have to shut up.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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That's pretty good.

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As far as the listening goes, and I've, I say this across stages and workshops and everything

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else, listening is so important that when you're 100% listening, you're taking away

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all your distractions, your cell phone, everything else, putting it all away and you're listening

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to that person.

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You're concentrating and by listening, by not saying anything by shutting up, you are

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giving that person 100% of your attention.

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And what's more important than listening, but the pause at the end, because the pause,

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that's the other person believe that you were listening to them and you're going to respond

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to what they said, not the next thing that you wanted to say, but responding to something

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that they said, and that goes such a long way.

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It really does.

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Again, building that trust and everything else.

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Okay, Chris.

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So if somebody wanted to get in touch with you about coaching, about just getting in

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touch with you about saying hi, whatever, how would they do it?

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Well, the best ways and the easiest ways are my LinkedIn.

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I'm the only Chris Abbey on LinkedIn, so you can always find me there pretty easily.

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Then you have my website, procrastinationstation.ca or you've got just my name, chrisabdy.com.

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None of them are very well-designed right now.

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They're just placeholders, but you can find me there.

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That's okay.

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But as long as they can get hold of you, that's great.

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Do you have anything, any last minute things you want to add?

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No, I think I just want to say thank you for having me on the show and really enjoyed it.

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It's great, Chris.

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Chris, I want to thank you again for coming out and this is great.

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I'll talk to you soon.

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Well, that's a wrap, folks.

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A huge thank you to our special guests for sharing such incredible insights today and,

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of course, a big shout out to you, our amazing listeners for tuning in and spending your

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time with us.

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Remember, networking isn't about being perfect.

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It's about being present.

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So take what you've learned today, get out there, and make some meaningful connections.

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If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave us a review, and share

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it with someone who could use a little networking inspiration.

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Let's keep the conversation going.

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You can find me on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or my website, MichaelA4man.com.

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Remember, until next time, keep practicing, keep connecting, and keep building those

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relationships.

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This is Michael A. Foreman signing off.

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Take care and happy networking.