Hello, and welcome to Networking Unleashed, Building Profitable Connections.
Welcome to the show.
I'm Michael Forman, and you're listening to the podcast where networking is more than
just awkward handshakes and bad coffee.
It's an art and a talent.
But here's the twist.
It's an art and talent you can actually learn.
Yes, even if you're the person hiding in the corner at every event pretending to check
emails.
Nowworking isn't just a nice skill to have.
It's a game changer.
When you get good at it, you'll wonder why you didn't start sooner.
More connections, more opportunities, more profits.
It's like unlocking a cheat code for life.
So whether you're the life of the party or the let me just stay in the corner and text
type, we've got something for you.
So stick around.
Let's turn those awkward small talk moments into big wins.
Now I have a guest today.
His name is Chris Abdi, and I have a short intro for him, but I'm going to let him introduce
himself and you'll get a better feeling of what he's about.
His bio, well, what he asked me to tell you about him.
He wanted to know if you're caught in an endless loop of I'll start tomorrow.
Say hello to Chris Abdi, a seasoned procrastination coach with a lack of transforming hesitation
into action.
And I'm going to bring up as a simple poem.
I told you this last time that my mother told me.
Procrastination is my sin.
It brings me endless sorrow.
I really must stop doing it.
In fact, I'll stop tomorrow.
Okay, Chris, take her away.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you, Michael.
And thank you for having me on the show.
Yeah, as a procrastination coach, I do feel that sometimes we don't pay enough attention
to it as such, but the house and the why has really brought me back to, you know, I've always
wanted to help people in some way.
My mother was a psychiatric nurse for many years.
My father had many different professions always, you know, and in that capacity of helping others,
whether it was, you know, the military or he was a paramedic for a while and very, very
brilliant man.
And so I, you know, wanted to, I've always wanted to help people like that.
So we fast forward to my high school days and I'm sure everybody can relate to this
one.
And then my last two years of high school, I had, you know, to do 12 art projects.
And what happened was, well, I obviously I left into the last minute because I didn't
think art was really that important.
So I was scrambling around in my garage, you know, it was probably about seven or eight
p.m. on the Sunday before the Monday morning, which was going to be a full on art exam,
like exhibit.
You can actually look this up.
We were in the paper, small paper, but still.
So there was a lot of pressure on this, right?
But you know, I did it and I walked in there and let me ask you, Michael, what do you think
the result was of that?
Maybe you saw that putting things off wasn't the best idea.
That's what you would think.
But a series of fortunate events led me to actually the proctor was from another school,
so they didn't know me, didn't know that I just completely slacked off for the entire
two years.
They started talking about the art as soon as he came in.
I just shut my yeah.
He's like, oh, I really love how you use these, you know, unconventional materials, but you
didn't go too far overboard.
I love how this one rep seems to represent this.
And you know, you're absolutely right.
And my saving grace, I think was where he asked, you know, he said, oh, this is very
reminiscent of pathetic art.
I think I can work with this.
And so I said, you're right, because in today's society, you know, is not the striving for
perfection and mediocrity because everybody's doing it.
And you know, bing bang boom, I pass with almost the same grade or maybe slightly better
than the guy that busted his hump for two years and had extra art lessons and all this
extra help put on him.
And so it actually kind of gave me a minor God complex at that age, you know, going
out into the world, oh, I'll just, you know, I'll leave to the last second.
I'll pull a rabbit out of my hat.
It'll be fine.
Right.
And it works like that until it doesn't.
And then, you know, fast forward into my adult life.
And you know, I was always striving along the way I lost that dream when I was younger.
So I got caught up in the rat race, almighty dollar sort of thing, you know, customer service.
Then I went to, you know, management, then I went to project management, business development.
Then I went to, well, even at the end, you know, financial risk analysis.
But the commonality between all the students is I was always working with people, right?
You know, guiding them through burnout, you know, stress, overwhelm, signs of procrastination,
right?
But procrastination really holds that, that part for me because of what happened to me
in high school.
And also, I know how detrimental it can be as well because it robbed me of my last conversation
with my mother, too.
You know, we knew she was dying and because it was uncomfortable for me, you know, I just
put it off, always had better things to do.
And put it on the calendar and for the Monday.
And depending on who you want to believe, it's still kind of a blur to me, honestly.
I don't know the exact time anymore.
But sometime between that Sunday night and the wee hours on Monday morning, she passed.
So I know that it can have that detrimental effect as well.
So that's really why I honed in on procrastination.
Sometimes you need that kick in the pants to get you straightened out.
And it sounds like that was your kick in the pants.
So listen, whatever the reason is, it got you moving in the right direction.
And I think you're a lot better for it.
But judging by what you said by procrastinating or by not procrastinating, how would you
network with other people?
How do you keep networking and what's your commonality of networking?
Right.
So for networking, I never really procrastinate.
Actually, that's not true.
That's not true.
I want it to be true, but it's not true.
I'm sorry.
I told a lie.
A little white lie.
I told them myself, I don't procrastinate on that.
I'm like, well, maybe I do.
So in one sense, I procrastinate.
In another sense, I don't.
So in terms of my networking, my online networking, which I've always been more comfortable with,
I don't procrastinate that at all.
But I do find myself procrastinating a little bit on my networking in person because any
number of reasons, the main one being convenience normally.
So getting better at that one, but normally I don't procrastinate when it comes to that.
So what do you consider the key elements of networking?
Well, the key elements of networking are, well, for me, they would be, know yourself
first, know how you connect and how you interact with people, and then know how to know other
people and then go out and actually start meeting people.
Okay.
Well, you, it sounds like you have a certain fear.
You're slightly introverted and you prefer doing everything online instead of going in
person.
Right?
Am I right so far?
Yeah.
Yeah, pretty right.
Okay.
So how would you or how do you overcome the fear of networking?
Right.
So that actual fear of the fear of networking is actually twofold for me and I know I'll
do a little bit of a sidebar when it comes to that.
The fear for me hasn't really been about, before it's what we call the which one, right?
You know, that fear of being judged, you know, like, what are you doing?
I mean, as a coach and being in the space now, you hear a lot of stuff, right?
Like, the first thing is, oh, procrastination coach, well, you know, do you want me to
get over it?
Do you want me to do it better?
Like, well, what are you doing?
Right?
And then you have those other little, you know, gremlins that get in there, those doubts
right of people who are close to you, they're supposed to be your supporters and they might
not always support you.
So there's, there's multi-faces to that.
But the way that I get over it is, I mean, I go out and do it and the fear of being
like judged to the which one I actually work on actively by, you're going to laugh about
this one, but it's true.
I'm sure there's pictures of me out there on the internet doing it too.
I have this little duck hat.
So when I feel like I'm being judged, you know, I'll go out and wear this duck hat for the
sole purpose and it's got these little feet, you squeeze it and waves.
So I'll just go out and wave at people all day, right?
And I'm like, well, if I can do that all day and still feel all right about it, I can probably
go out and tell people what I actually do.
All right, I can go with that.
I can go with that.
While you're, you're, you're going out and you're, you're doing this networking, whether
you're doing it through your introverted ways or extrovert sometimes, I'm sure you've made
mistakes.
So what is your, what was your biggest mistake and how did you overcome it?
Honestly, my biggest mistake and this is, this has been, this is a common recurring
theme actually.
My biggest mistake was just not being authentic.
One of the things that I learned on really early was that I was a chameleon just because
of the way that I was brought up.
So I would, you know, I would mirror people quite a bit, which sometimes works and sometimes
doesn't.
Right?
And then what, you know, I, yeah, I guess that's pretty much it.
So that's, that's the biggest mistake is just not being yourself.
So I mean, I remember going to Las Vegas on a, on a company trip once, right?
And you know, I'd never been to Vegas.
I'm not really, you know, I wasn't really a gambler, wasn't really, you know, into the
other sort of nightlife stuff.
But lo and behold, when I got sitting with a bunch of guys over there, right, you know,
we were talking about things, oh yeah, yeah, I love that.
Let's, let's, you know, let's go see that show or whatever.
Right?
Yeah.
And it was, it's just, I probably could have saved myself a couple of hours of really awkward
things, but you know, I did it because I wanted to be liked by the guys, right?
Okay.
But okay.
So, so give me your, your top three strategies for networking.
So you give it, you've given me everything you've done so far, but give me your top three
strategies that you use today for networking.
Right.
My top three strategies for today, I'm a big fan of non-marketing marketing.
I, I like to say ABN, always be more, always be networking.
So I'll even go out and, you know, I'll do, I'll go to, you know, I'll sign up the book
clubs, I'll, you know, go out to the library and just see what other people are reading,
try to strike up conversations that way.
See anywhere there's people, I'll try to, and again, I don't do this from a perspective
of trying to gain business.
I just do this from a perspective of trying to get to know people.
But a lot of people, you know, when you're standing in a grocery store and someone says,
oh, these lines, they never open up, you know, the two checkouts.
Yeah, you're right.
They never do.
Just, just silly things like that.
Hey, we got five minutes.
So, you know, I should tell me about something about that.
Well, you know, when you, when you meet people, whether you're at a networking event or online
and department store or grocery store, there's a, still a mantra, know you like you trust
you, then they'll do business with you.
Now you could do business or just get to know you, but still you have to go through those
first stages before the trust factor comes in.
And as we said before, know you, that's pretty simple because you're a nice guy.
Everybody knows you like you.
That narrows the field down just a little bit, but know you like you and then trust
you.
Trust is such a crucial part of networking, whether it's personal or business, but it's
still a crucial part.
How would you maintain those relationships?
You told me how you get those relationships, whether they're superficial or not, but how
do you maintain the relationships that you want to maintain?
So the way that I maintain relationships that I want to maintain, normally what will happen
is I have a few touch points and I always try to get, you know, either a virtual coffee
or a real coffee out of it, right?
Sometimes it always work out and sometimes it falls by the wayside, but normally what
it looks like is, oh, hey, you know, do you use WhatsApp, do you use, you know, Telegram,
whatever it is, you know, let's look into that.
I usually find that, you know, some commonality, right?
Like they have some sort of club.
If they don't, well, then I just say, you know, go to the virtual, you know, coffee
route or whatever, but it doesn't always work out because I'll have to admit my follow-ups
aren't always as good as they should be from those interactions because they just happened
out of the blue anyway.
Well, you know, follow-up, I profess that follow-up is just as, if not more important,
then the initial contact, okay?
So it's the way that you follow up.
I have a secret sauce, the way that I follow up with business contacts, keeping it professional.
So within two weeks, I contact you in a certain way or two certain ways and it usually gains,
gets me pretty favorable results.
But the follow-up is key.
Give me one tip that you would give somebody looking to improve their networking skills.
Well, obviously my biggest one is I would just be authentic, just be you because eventually
it's going to come out anyway that, you know, you're pushing something off and when it does,
then you have to rebuild the sort of trust factor, right?
So I'm just saying you like sushi when you don't.
Been there, done that multiple times.
Let's go for sushi.
I hate sushi.
Yeah, let's do it.
I'll go and eat a California roll or something maybe.
But it's right.
Right.
Yeah, it's true.
Being authentic is really the key to be present, to be yourself.
All of that is part of the confidence building that you normally try to have before you even
meet somebody.
So you have to first start with that confidence, confidence in yourself.
If you're, excuse me, if you're not confident, then the people you're talking to usually
can see that and they'll go right past you.
So that's all very important.
So you have the confidence building, you have the building of the trust.
All of that really comes into how you network professionally, not just personally.
But with everything that you've told me so far, what's your favorite marketing tactic?
Actually, this one, this one's something I don't really share often and I'm wondering
if I should because, you know, if I do, then people are going to understand it and they
may not do it as much.
But there's a psychological aspect of something and somebody taught me this a long time ago
and it's kind of applied to dating, but I sort of, you know, mimicked it to the network
when I'm talking to people.
And it's, you know, you teach somebody something and they're going to, you know, they're going
to trust you a little more when they use that thing.
Well, I sort of dumbed it down a little bit.
And so let's say I'm in that grocery line again, right?
So if I know the line's big, and this always happens to me at the grocery store anyway.
So when I know the line's long and we've had that interaction and I'm like, normally,
you know, maybe I've got a cart, maybe I don't, man, you know what, I left the pickles in
the aisle, can you watch my cart for me?
So I get back.
And you know, normally if I've, you know, done a good job of talking to them, they say
yes.
If they say yes, I've noticed that they are more likely to ask me for my contact information
after without actually giving them anything.
That's really a good way.
Always have the person ask you instead of you offering it up.
You know, it's the same way when you go to networking events, I'll use that as a whole.
You're always looking to give rather than receive.
So you're always looking to give them whatever information that they want.
And if you're authentic enough, if you're real, if you're present enough, then they'll
in turn ask you for your contact information.
You know, when I was in the mortgages and I was online at a grocery store, I'd hear
a conversation behind me about mortgages, the rates, the, the, they can't find the
right property or this or that.
There's some sort of a problem.
And I turn around, I give them an answer to their problem and I turn back around.
And if I presented that properly, they would say, wait a second, what about this?
And that's all you're looking to do.
And the same way is if you're meeting somebody and you're giving your, your 30 second elevator
pitch, you don't give out the whole pitch.
You give out just enough so they ask you for the information.
But that's a very good, good thing.
So let me bring this all the way around.
Give me one takeaway that my listeners can use right now.
In terms of networking.
It's up to you.
Give me what?
Yes.
Let's keep it to network.
Okay.
All right.
So the one takeaway that you can start doing today, I'm going to go back and beat it with
like a dead horse, you know, be authentic.
Barring that if you can get them to, and it depends on how much trust you're willing
to put out here because the gentleman that actually, you know, put forth this idea, not
mine, but he said you give them your wallet and you let them hold it for five seconds.
And I'm like, okay, wow, that's a little bit more than I'm willing to go, but we push
to get just a little bit too much.
Yeah.
So, but I mean, if you can get them to, you know, accept that tiny, tiny responsibility,
it means that, that you're in and they will say generally they'll say yes to, you know,
a second coffee meeting at least, right?
Or something, maybe a book club meeting or whatever meeting you want to go to.
So that actionable step is something they can do today is actually three actionable
steps that are pretty easy to do.
If you don't want to do that, there's still active listening.
So listen to what other people are saying, you know, be a make it about them and not
about you.
And then that second one would be don't offer any information unless asked for it, which
is pretty easy.
You just have to shut up.
Yeah.
That's pretty good.
As far as the listening goes, and I've, I say this across stages and workshops and everything
else, listening is so important that when you're 100% listening, you're taking away
all your distractions, your cell phone, everything else, putting it all away and you're listening
to that person.
You're concentrating and by listening, by not saying anything by shutting up, you are
giving that person 100% of your attention.
And what's more important than listening, but the pause at the end, because the pause,
that's the other person believe that you were listening to them and you're going to respond
to what they said, not the next thing that you wanted to say, but responding to something
that they said, and that goes such a long way.
It really does.
Again, building that trust and everything else.
Okay, Chris.
So if somebody wanted to get in touch with you about coaching, about just getting in
touch with you about saying hi, whatever, how would they do it?
Well, the best ways and the easiest ways are my LinkedIn.
I'm the only Chris Abbey on LinkedIn, so you can always find me there pretty easily.
Then you have my website, procrastinationstation.ca or you've got just my name, chrisabdy.com.
None of them are very well-designed right now.
They're just placeholders, but you can find me there.
That's okay.
But as long as they can get hold of you, that's great.
Do you have anything, any last minute things you want to add?
No, I think I just want to say thank you for having me on the show and really enjoyed it.
It's great, Chris.
Chris, I want to thank you again for coming out and this is great.
I'll talk to you soon.
Well, that's a wrap, folks.
A huge thank you to our special guests for sharing such incredible insights today and,
of course, a big shout out to you, our amazing listeners for tuning in and spending your
time with us.
Remember, networking isn't about being perfect.
It's about being present.
So take what you've learned today, get out there, and make some meaningful connections.
If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave us a review, and share
it with someone who could use a little networking inspiration.
Let's keep the conversation going.
You can find me on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or my website, MichaelA4man.com.
Remember, until next time, keep practicing, keep connecting, and keep building those
relationships.
This is Michael A. Foreman signing off.
Take care and happy networking.