1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:24,280 Hello, and welcome to Networking Unleashed, Building Profitable Connections. 2 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:25,280 Welcome to the show, folks. 3 00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:30,840 I'm your host, Michael Forman, and you're listening to the podcast where networking 4 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:35,840 is more than just awkward handshakes and bad coffee. 5 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:38,600 It's an art and a talent. 6 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:40,440 But here's the twist. 7 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:43,840 It's an art and a talent you can actually learn. 8 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:50,720 Yes, even if you're the person hiding in the corner at every event pretending to check 9 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:52,880 emails. 10 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:55,640 Unleashing isn't just a nice skill to have. 11 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:57,400 It's a game changer. 12 00:00:57,400 --> 00:01:02,840 And when you get good at it, you'll wonder why you didn't start sooner. 13 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:07,600 More connections, more opportunities, more profits. 14 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:11,560 It's like unlocking a cheat code for life. 15 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:17,120 So whether you're the life of the party or the let me just stay at home and text type, 16 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:19,080 we've got something for you. 17 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:25,920 Stick around, let's turn those awkward, small talk moments into big wins. 18 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:32,720 Now I've got a guest here today who has really quite an extensive background. 19 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:38,400 He was in law enforcement for 20 years as a hostage negotiator, no less. 20 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:40,440 But that was really just the beginning. 21 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:47,640 He wrote a book and he has so much more to give us, to show us, to tell us that I wouldn't 22 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:51,320 do it justice by introducing him that way. 23 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:55,560 So Scott, if you would, first of all, welcome to the show. 24 00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:56,560 Thank you so much. 25 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:58,080 I'm excited to have this conversation. 26 00:01:58,080 --> 00:01:59,880 Good, that's great. 27 00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:04,280 So Scott, why don't you tell us a little bit about your background? 28 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:07,400 So yeah, my background, as you mentioned, I was in law enforcement for 20 years. 29 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:10,400 I've been married, more importantly, been married about 28 years now. 30 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:11,680 So that's the main thing. 31 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:13,520 To the same woman, so that's really saying something. 32 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:17,880 I got involved in law enforcement fairly early on, that's what I went to college for. 33 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:21,320 And when I got into law enforcement, I was only in for a couple of years before I figured 34 00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:23,680 out I was in a downstream problem. 35 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:28,040 I was collecting all the problems that were downstream and I got tired of being in the 36 00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:29,040 cleanup business. 37 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:33,720 So very early on in my career, I started fighting my way upstream to see what we could do to 38 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:38,080 prevent some of these crimes, to educate people to make better choices. 39 00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:40,920 So that got me involved in things like the DARE program. 40 00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:45,560 I was teaching fifth and seventh graders just basically good decision making practices. 41 00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:48,480 I got trained as a hostage negotiator very early on. 42 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:50,920 I became trained as a public information officer. 43 00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:55,640 So I'm talking to the media, relaying information to the public, keeping them informed as to 44 00:02:55,640 --> 00:03:00,240 what's going on, teaching our citizens police academy. 45 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:04,960 All of this to say, it wasn't very long into my career before I figured out I was communicating 46 00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:05,960 for a living. 47 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:11,200 I was wearing a police uniform, but even when it came to a physical altercation, Michael, 48 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:15,680 I was the guy that would talk myself out of that fight, talk the person out of fighting 49 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:16,680 me. 50 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:18,040 I can take you to the ground. 51 00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:19,840 I would rather not, right? 52 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:23,680 I would just rather talk you into a better solution for you and me. 53 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:27,120 So it became very clear that I was communicating for a living. 54 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:28,560 I'm the middle of three boys. 55 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:32,520 So as the middle child, I'm the peacekeeper, the negotiator, all of that stuff just kind 56 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:34,840 of came naturally to me. 57 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:40,800 And I knew I could retire at 43 years old because I became a police officer at 23. 58 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:44,200 And at the time it was a 20 year hazardous duty retirement. 59 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:50,760 It's now 25, but I knew at 43, I had two girls that one was graduating college or graduating 60 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:54,080 high school when I retired or when I was eligible to retire. 61 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:56,920 And the second one was five years behind her. 62 00:03:56,920 --> 00:04:00,800 So I knew retirement and collecting a public pension was not my gig. 63 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:03,320 I knew that about halfway through my career. 64 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:08,080 So with about eight years left, I started speaking professionally and it kind of came 65 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:12,740 up because I was attending conferences anyways and knew the conference organizers and one 66 00:04:12,740 --> 00:04:16,280 of them two months out said, Hey, we had somebody cancel for a breakout session. 67 00:04:16,280 --> 00:04:18,280 Do you have anything you can talk about? 68 00:04:18,280 --> 00:04:21,760 I said, sure, I can talk about bullying because I was in the day or classroom. 69 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:26,220 This was a hot topic in 2010 when this request came through and she's like, that'd be great 70 00:04:26,220 --> 00:04:27,680 if you could do a bullying session. 71 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:31,000 So I did that to about 20 people. 72 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:34,840 All those 20 people over half of them came up to me afterwards and said, would you come 73 00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:36,040 train our staff? 74 00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:39,520 Because these were school principals, school resource officers, superintendents. 75 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:42,240 I said, sure, you'll have to pay my gas. 76 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,160 Like I didn't know how this speaking thing worked. 77 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:46,440 Like maybe feed me lunch and I'll come. 78 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:48,040 And so I did that. 79 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:50,800 And then those staffs were like, Hey, would you come and train our students? 80 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:54,200 I'd never done a student assembly before, but I'm like, sure, I can do this. 81 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,120 I've been doing dare classes already. 82 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:58,160 So I knew what connected with them. 83 00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:04,920 And so I started doing school assemblies in 2010 and I was eligible to retire in 2018. 84 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:09,800 By that time I was doing about 90% school assemblies, about 10% adult learners in the 85 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:11,600 education world. 86 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:15,880 Then when I retired, I started transitioning more towards corporate speaking. 87 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:20,480 And that's where the hostile negotiator stuff really started to play in because what frustrated 88 00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:25,160 me Michael is that corporations today, when there's an issue or a problem, they tend to 89 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:27,440 shut down communication. 90 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:30,140 Because they're so afraid of saying the wrong thing. 91 00:05:30,140 --> 00:05:34,280 And then my point is from a law enforcement standpoint, if we shut down communication, 92 00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:36,720 the public thinks we're hiding something. 93 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:38,880 And it's no different in the business world. 94 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:44,240 If you shut down communication, that feels like you don't care almost every time. 95 00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:47,520 And so I started putting together corporate presentation saying you are going to have 96 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:50,320 a crisis every day. 97 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:53,760 If you shut down communication, your people will start becoming suspicious. 98 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:58,040 They'll start looking for a new job and your clients and customers will start wondering 99 00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:02,520 why they're not being informed about minor issues along the way when they would adjust 100 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:04,240 to those if they would just be informed. 101 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:06,440 So that's what I do today. 102 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:08,800 Mostly corporate speaking, I still do school assemblies. 103 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:09,800 That's the heavy bat. 104 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:13,200 I tell corporate people all the time, if I can keep a thousand middle schoolers attention 105 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:17,760 while they sit on bleachers in the gym for an hour, your boardroom does not scare me. 106 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:23,740 And so mostly corporate today, school assemblies, if they ask, I just don't mark it to those. 107 00:06:23,740 --> 00:06:28,880 I'm older than I've ever been and less relevant to the average teenager than I've ever been. 108 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:31,000 But still to me, that's the heavy bat. 109 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:34,960 And that'll always have a special place in my heart. 110 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:37,440 That's great. 111 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:43,160 What you're really saying to me is communication is really the key. 112 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:49,240 It's the main component of negotiating, whether it's hostages or not. 113 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:55,960 It's negotiating between two elements, two people, two corporations, whatever. 114 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:59,240 But communication is key. 115 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:04,600 And listen, I've been married 37 years to the same woman. 116 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:08,480 I am the middle child of two brothers. 117 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:13,600 So I feel exactly, I put nine years as a police officer in the Air Force. 118 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:18,040 So I really feel a kinship to what you are saying. 119 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:26,240 You know, so how do you communicate with, well, let's just start with the average person. 120 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:27,240 Okay. 121 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:35,940 So instead of going to the corporate environment, how would you, if you see a problem, a something 122 00:07:35,940 --> 00:07:45,680 stirring up, a fight basically ready to happen, how would you step in and alleviate that problem? 123 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:52,160 Yeah, I think especially for this upcoming generation, which I'm a big fan of, but honestly, 124 00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:55,880 I'll be honest, I get a lot of corporations that hire me to come in and train their new 125 00:07:55,880 --> 00:08:01,160 staff because they want me to come in and tell them you actually have to have conversations 126 00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:02,160 with people. 127 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:04,680 You can't email text your way through business today. 128 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:09,160 Like you have to have a conversation face to face is what we prefer. 129 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:11,360 But voice to voice is second place to that. 130 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,840 And they don't want to make a phone call. 131 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:18,920 Is to get back to your point, this upcoming generation, which my kids are a part of, they've 132 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:22,280 been trained to bump up against awkward and then run the other way. 133 00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:25,000 And they're afraid to have awkward conversations. 134 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:30,840 If you feel like conflict coming on, like you said, it feels like it's easier to ignore 135 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:31,840 it. 136 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:33,040 It feels like I don't want to offend anybody. 137 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:34,280 I don't want to have to take a side. 138 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,000 This is going to be awkward. 139 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:40,600 And I tell people at a time, we are paid to have awkward conversations if you're in leadership. 140 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:42,160 That's your job. 141 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:48,360 Your job is to call them in individually and say, I feel like there's a beef going on. 142 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:51,320 I even tell them my spidey sense is tingling. 143 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:56,760 And the best way to diffuse awkward conversations is to call it awkward from the beginning. 144 00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:57,760 Bring them into your office. 145 00:08:57,760 --> 00:08:59,320 Say this is probably going to be awkward. 146 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:00,400 I don't want it to be awkward. 147 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:01,400 I want you to be awesome. 148 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:04,520 And in order to do that, we've got to work through these issues. 149 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:09,760 I feel like there's a tension going on with you and coworker B. In my way off base, if 150 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:12,920 I am correct me, but I feel like something's going on. 151 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:17,040 And if you continue down this path, it's going to affect your ability to succeed at this 152 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:18,200 company. 153 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:20,520 And your success is important to me. 154 00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:22,360 So what can I do to help? 155 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:25,480 Give them permission to be awkward in the beginning. 156 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:27,360 Call it out awkward. 157 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:30,080 This is probably going to be awkward, but I want to have this conversation because I 158 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:34,440 want us both to be better at the end of it. 159 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:42,840 So let's just say there's been a lot of research on what you're talking about. 160 00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:52,560 And the Gen Z period is really what's come into play because those are the new employees. 161 00:09:52,560 --> 00:10:00,600 And I just read a research paper that said after a thousand employers, what a thousand 162 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:11,000 employers said was that they're having a problem keeping their Gen Z employees because of lack 163 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:15,720 of professionalism, lack of motivation. 164 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:20,800 All they want to do is talk on Zoom or their cell phone. 165 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:28,240 And the whole idea of what I do because I too go into schools and I tell them about 166 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:32,200 not working communication, but in a different sense. 167 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:35,400 So I say, what about distractions? 168 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:37,360 What's your number one distraction? 169 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:39,000 And of course, it's easy. 170 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,360 It's the cell phone. 171 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:48,520 So if you take the cell phone out and you talk to them, eye communication, eye contact, 172 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:54,880 having that confidence, keeping your body straight, all of that is so intricate into 173 00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:58,680 the way that they. 174 00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:07,440 But okay, so let's say you're you're communicating, but I'm going to I'm going to take you out 175 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:11,320 of the corporate environment and the school environment. 176 00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:15,520 And I'm just going to put you in a professional networking environment. 177 00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:16,520 Yes. 178 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:17,520 Okay. 179 00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:18,520 Not like your wedding. 180 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:19,520 Yep. 181 00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:27,120 I've met that incredible person, but give me give me some key elements to the art of 182 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:31,600 communication with networking. 183 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:34,960 So I tell people all the time, people freak out about small talk and they worry and I've 184 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:37,480 had people hire me because they're like, I'm not good at small talk. 185 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:38,960 I'm like, you are good at small talk. 186 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:41,680 You just don't realize it, right? 187 00:11:41,680 --> 00:11:46,920 Networking small talk is whoever asks the most questions wins, right? 188 00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:49,960 So people know that networking is a little bit awkward. 189 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:54,360 That's inherent in it, but the way you make somebody feel at ease in an awkward situation 190 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:56,840 is you ask them easy questions. 191 00:11:56,840 --> 00:12:01,920 You know, tell me about you, you know, an easy one is what do you do, which to me is almost 192 00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:02,920 cliche. 193 00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:03,920 That's played out. 194 00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:06,720 One of my favorite ones, networking wise, what's the best thing that happened in the 195 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:07,720 last year? 196 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,400 Cause that may be business. 197 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:11,040 That may be personal. 198 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:13,160 And if they share, well, my daughter got married this year. 199 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:14,160 That's incredible. 200 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:15,780 My daughter got married a couple of years ago. 201 00:12:15,780 --> 00:12:19,400 Tell me about that and you just continue asking about that. 202 00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:23,360 And then you might work into it, what they do and that kind of stuff through the course 203 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:30,440 of this conversation, but ask them easy questions and then ask the follow up question to that. 204 00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:34,800 You know, when they answer that question, ask the next question, even if you never get 205 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:40,520 a chance to talk about you, when they leave that conversation, they're going to feel really 206 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:45,240 highly about you because that guy was a good conversationalist. 207 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:46,840 He was a good listener. 208 00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:51,600 She asked great questions, whatever it is, they're going to remember you because you 209 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:54,920 put them at ease because you allowed them to talk about something they're an expert 210 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:56,880 in, which is themselves. 211 00:12:56,880 --> 00:13:01,480 You didn't ask anything else from them except to tell me about you. 212 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:06,160 And then they will often reciprocate when they're done kind of talking about them. 213 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:07,200 They're like, what's your story? 214 00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:08,200 Tell me about you. 215 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,160 And then that's your chance to share. 216 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:13,080 If they don't ask, it's still a win. 217 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:17,520 And then the big follow up to me, the way I win networking is I'll get a business card, 218 00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:20,520 contact information, something from them at the end. 219 00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:22,720 And then I'm the first to email them. 220 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:27,480 I email them that day, usually before the event is up. 221 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:31,480 And I will say, Michael, it was so good to meet you at XYZ event. 222 00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:33,400 I loved hearing about your daughter's wedding. 223 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:36,960 If I can ever do anything for you, let me know. 224 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:40,080 Because when they do email me back, that reminds me what we talked about. 225 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,640 You know, it's a hack that tells me, this is a person. 226 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:47,320 I met at this event and we talked about this thing and we automatically have a report and 227 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:49,160 move forward. 228 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:58,480 You just named about four things that I talk about with meeting, networking, communicating 229 00:13:58,480 --> 00:13:59,480 with people. 230 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:04,920 The first thing I say is when you, after you are networking and you speak with somebody 231 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:12,480 that you're interested in either them becoming a client or not, you let them talk about themselves. 232 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:14,120 And I have a little system. 233 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:21,080 It's called form, F-O-R-M, family, occupation, recreation, and a message. 234 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:25,480 You kind of have all that going as they're talking about themselves. 235 00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:26,840 And you're right. 236 00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:34,280 Because when they talk about themselves, you're building up that level of trust and that barrier 237 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:35,720 is coming down. 238 00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:38,200 And that's such a good, positive thing. 239 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:39,200 And you know what? 240 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:44,600 You say, before you even say what you do for a living, you say, you know what? 241 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,560 I like what you do. 242 00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:48,400 I like how you do it. 243 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:51,440 How can I make you more successful? 244 00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:55,120 How can I be a good referral source for you? 245 00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:59,000 It usually blows them away, but he'll give it to you. 246 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:02,000 And that business card that you get, you're right. 247 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,280 But you're on the back of the card. 248 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:10,520 You write the date, the name of the function, and the item that you spoke about. 249 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:15,600 Because when you do that follow-up, yes, you can put that card away and you'll have that 250 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:19,600 information in the email, but you'll have it right there. 251 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:20,600 Yeah. 252 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:21,600 Yeah. 253 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:22,600 It's huge. 254 00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:30,360 It's really, it comes in handy, but it's very important that you remember all of these 255 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:31,720 things that you have to do. 256 00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:36,600 And after a while, it's not like you're going to have to think about doing it because it 257 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:38,400 will just come naturally. 258 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:39,400 Right. 259 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:40,400 Right. 260 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:43,360 And as a negotiator, Michael, and I saw a couple of your videos and I know you talk 261 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:47,360 about this, my number one job as a negotiator was to build rapport. 262 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:51,800 I need you to think, I need you to know that I care about you. 263 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:56,800 I know that you, I need you to know that I'm here for your best interest because as a negotiator, 264 00:15:56,800 --> 00:16:00,880 I want you to come out safe and I want everybody that's inside with you to come out safe. 265 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:04,480 And I want the bad things to stop once we start communicating. 266 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:06,080 I want decisions to get better. 267 00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,120 I want situations inside to improve. 268 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:11,520 I want to walk you through this so that nothing else bad happens. 269 00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:12,520 Right. 270 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:13,680 And I have to build rapport. 271 00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:15,120 That's my job. 272 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:18,720 And today in business, it's no different because we do business with people we like, 273 00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:20,040 no, and trust. 274 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:23,600 And the best way to get people to like, no, and trust you is to make them feel comfortable, 275 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:26,520 make them feel like you understand their problems. 276 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:29,840 Sometimes I'll ask them, how's that going for you when they talk about work? 277 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:30,840 How's that going for you? 278 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:33,200 What is the issue you're having at work today? 279 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:37,560 And whether or not I can solve that problem, I know somebody who can. 280 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:38,560 Like you know what? 281 00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:40,440 I don't speak about that finances. 282 00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:44,120 Like I don't speak about finances, but I know a guy who does, who's an expert in this, 283 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,960 who's helped people like you, let me connect you. 284 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:50,000 And then I send an email connecting the two, say you two are awesome. 285 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,520 Go be awesome together. 286 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:54,160 And I'm still somebody that's helpful to them. 287 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:56,440 So we've got to build rapport with people. 288 00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:58,720 Otherwise they won't do business with us. 289 00:16:58,720 --> 00:16:59,720 Absolutely. 290 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:03,280 And that rapport building is so important. 291 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:08,080 Now you sometimes have 30 seconds to build it. 292 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:11,360 Sometimes you have three minutes, 10 minutes, a half an hour. 293 00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:17,640 You don't know, but the best you can be, first of all, is yourself. 294 00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:21,600 Be present, be yourself, and a lot of it will fall down. 295 00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:24,280 But let me ask you a question. 296 00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:34,000 What mistakes has happened to you and how did you overcome those mistakes? 297 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:39,240 I think the first mistake and my worst, I will admit this right now, confessional right 298 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:44,080 here on your podcast, names do not store very well in my head. 299 00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:46,480 I am not good with names. 300 00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:49,240 People tell me their name at the beginning of the conversation. 301 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:53,640 And while I'm shaking their hand, my brain erases it like an etch a sketch. 302 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:58,480 I will say it back to them as an effort to help me, but I just struggle with names. 303 00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:02,000 And sometimes I have called people by the wrong name. 304 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:06,920 I'm also from the South, so it's perfectly acceptable to meet, greet somebody and say, 305 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:07,920 hey buddy, how are you? 306 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,640 Good to see you partner, how are you? 307 00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:11,640 Because I can't remember their name, right? 308 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:12,640 It's not personal. 309 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:17,240 I remember our conversation and I remember where we had the conversation. 310 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:19,920 Like my brain stores things geographically. 311 00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:25,640 And so my wife and I have this standard practice that's been in our lives for over 20 years. 312 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:29,960 If I don't introduce her to somebody that comes up and talks to me, it's because I don't 313 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:31,480 remember their name. 314 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:34,480 And so she will step forward and say, hi, I'm Greta. 315 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:35,960 And he's like, oh, I'm John. 316 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:38,640 I'm like, I'm sorry, John Greta Greta John. 317 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:40,920 I learned their name same time she did, right? 318 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,360 Or I remembered their name. 319 00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:44,200 So, but you know what? 320 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:48,640 If that's what, if that's the worst that happens in the conversation, I talked to hundreds 321 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:50,600 of people a week. 322 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,480 And so do they. 323 00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:57,080 Missing their name, messing their name up is not a huge deal unless you make it a huge 324 00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:58,080 deal. 325 00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:02,280 In any conversation, if you make a mistake, own it. 326 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:03,800 If I say, hey John, good to see you. 327 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:05,040 And you're like, it's actually Michael. 328 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:06,320 Michael, I'm sorry. 329 00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:08,000 I'll remember that for the next time. 330 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:09,680 And we move on. 331 00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:14,280 You just don't camp there because the longer you camp there and make it awkward and talk 332 00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:18,000 about the last time you forgot somebody's name and everything, all they'll remember 333 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,440 is the awkwardness. 334 00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:21,880 Sincerely apologize and move on. 335 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:22,880 Very good. 336 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:25,160 That's very good advice. 337 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:28,080 I'm glad to see you're using that. 338 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:30,240 You have been using that with your wife. 339 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:38,520 My wife and I have the same exact thing because I too, I can't remember names for anything. 340 00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:41,800 She will step forward, introduce and I'll say, oh, that's right. 341 00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:42,800 I'm sorry. 342 00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:44,520 You know, Scott, this is April. 343 00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:45,800 April, this is Scott. 344 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:48,120 And so on and so forth. 345 00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:53,240 How do you stay in contact with your relationships? 346 00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:55,680 How do you follow up with them? 347 00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:57,720 So generally I follow up with email. 348 00:19:57,720 --> 00:20:02,520 I don't love written communication as a standard as the gold standard. 349 00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:04,080 I prefer face to face. 350 00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:07,720 I tell people, if you can get in the same room and breathe the same air, that's first 351 00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:08,720 place. 352 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:13,200 Second place is a Zoom video type call, Microsoft team, something like that so that you can 353 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:17,480 see facial expressions because so much of our communication is nonverbal. 354 00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:23,080 Actually, depending upon what studies you read, 93% of it is nonverbal. 355 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:26,640 About a third of it is our tone and about half of it is our body language. 356 00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:29,800 So you need to be somewhere where you can pick up tone. 357 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:34,200 That's why I tell these next generation people, at least get on the phone because you can 358 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:37,120 communicate compassion through tone. 359 00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:39,020 You can't do that in an email. 360 00:20:39,020 --> 00:20:43,360 That being said, I will email people on the follow up when I've met them at an event or 361 00:20:43,360 --> 00:20:44,760 a conference or something like that. 362 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:48,840 I'll email them and then I will give them my email. 363 00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:49,840 Email me back. 364 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:50,840 Here's my cell number. 365 00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:52,040 If you have a question, you can text me. 366 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:57,040 You can call me whatever West way they're comfortable communicating because just because 367 00:20:57,040 --> 00:21:03,080 I prefer face to face or voice to voice doesn't mean that the Gen Z person I met at the conference 368 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:05,680 is ever going to call me on the phone. 369 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:09,520 And if they know it's okay to text me, then they can text me. 370 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:13,040 Now it's possible that I will say, this is a great question. 371 00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:15,080 Can we talk on the phone to go through this? 372 00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:17,680 It's too much for my old thumbs to type. 373 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:18,840 And they'll laugh about that. 374 00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:20,480 Eventually they've met me at a conference. 375 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:24,480 They know I'm not a psycho and I can have a conversation and we'll get on the phone and 376 00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:26,280 have a conversation. 377 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:30,920 But when I email follow up, if I don't hear back from them after a couple of weeks, I'll 378 00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:33,120 send them a second email. 379 00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:39,120 And in that second email, I always say something like, I probably hit your spam folder last 380 00:21:39,120 --> 00:21:40,120 time. 381 00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:43,120 I just wanted to follow up and say, it's great meeting you at this conference. 382 00:21:43,120 --> 00:21:45,120 If I can do anything for you, let me know. 383 00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:49,160 Now my CRM told me they opened the first email. 384 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:52,980 They just didn't reply back because their world got busy and it's not a huge deal. 385 00:21:52,980 --> 00:21:57,040 But I always give them the out and more times than not, they email me back and they're like, 386 00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:58,040 you're right. 387 00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:02,120 It was in my spam folder, which I know is a lie, but it allows them to save face. 388 00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:05,360 And I'm okay with that because now we have a conversation going. 389 00:22:05,360 --> 00:22:11,240 I've given them a way to not be embarrassed and continue a conversation that they wanted 390 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:12,240 to have. 391 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:15,800 They just got busy and couldn't have at the time that I emailed them. 392 00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:20,200 And then if I don't hear back from them after the second, if I think it's a prospect or 393 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:23,760 something like that, I'll send them a third email. 394 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,640 And I got this from Grant Baldwin, who's a speaker. 395 00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:27,200 I don't know if you know Grant or not. 396 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:29,080 I'm a graduate of the speaker lab. 397 00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:30,080 Okay. 398 00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:31,720 So Grant wrote an endorsement for my book. 399 00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:36,200 He's been on my podcast back when I had one and my favorite email of his is the email that 400 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:38,840 says, Hey, I'd love to work with you. 401 00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:40,120 I don't want to bother you. 402 00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:42,200 So I'm going to put the ball in your court with this email. 403 00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:45,240 If I can ever do anything else for you, let me know. 404 00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:47,960 If they don't get back with me, they're not my person. 405 00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:51,480 But I tell you the times that somebody has gotten back to me on that third email and 406 00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:55,160 said, I'm so sorry, life has been crazy. 407 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:59,680 Let's schedule a time to meet because they realized this is kind of last chance. 408 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:03,640 That's Grant Baldwin's approach, Chris Voss, who's another FBI negotiator. 409 00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:08,040 He says in his subject line is, have you given up on working with me? 410 00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:09,960 Which is a great question. 411 00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:13,960 Because if they have, they can just continue to ghost me and I'll get the message. 412 00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:18,040 If they haven't, then we like, no, I'm sorry, I've been busy. 413 00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:19,040 Let's connect. 414 00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:20,040 Great. 415 00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:28,120 It's funny to bring up Grant Baldwin because I've spoken to him a few times. 416 00:23:28,120 --> 00:23:36,040 He actually contacted me because of what I did with his course. 417 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:41,240 I went through his course faster than most and I've done a little bit. 418 00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:43,560 I've done pretty well with it. 419 00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:45,560 And he's a great person. 420 00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:47,360 He's a great guy. 421 00:23:47,360 --> 00:23:48,360 Okay. 422 00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:56,600 So give me one essential tip. 423 00:23:56,600 --> 00:24:02,960 You can give to someone looking to improve their networking or sales skills. 424 00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:04,280 Yeah. 425 00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:08,760 And it's the same thing when we were looking for a new negotiator to add to the team. 426 00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:10,840 That was the same quality we were looking for. 427 00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:13,920 Because we would have officers that would apply and they would say, I can talk anybody 428 00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:15,800 into anything. 429 00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:19,040 That's really not what we're looking for because what makes a great negotiator is 430 00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:23,400 the same thing that makes a good communicator and that's, they're a great listener. 431 00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:26,760 I have never talked anybody into doing anything. 432 00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:31,920 My wife, my girls, any hostage, the host, the taker I was talking to, but I have listened 433 00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:35,080 people into doing what I want them to do. 434 00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:41,680 Meaning, I'm asking questions and I'm truly listening for what's being said, for what's 435 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:46,680 not being said, what makes them mad, what makes them happy. 436 00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:51,960 Those are the type of things that allow me to formulate a solution to their problem that 437 00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:54,600 allows them as many wins as possible. 438 00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:57,520 I know, let's say your kids are a motivating force for you. 439 00:24:57,520 --> 00:25:01,360 If you become a better communicator, you're going to be able to talk to your kids better 440 00:25:01,360 --> 00:25:06,440 and that's going to bring that relationship that much closer to where it needs to be. 441 00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:09,040 They're going to know mom is a great listener. 442 00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:10,600 Mom asks good questions. 443 00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:15,680 Dad is always available and he's going to listen when I come to him with the small stuff. 444 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:17,800 So it makes it easier to come to him with the big stuff. 445 00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:20,600 So listening is a superpower today. 446 00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:21,600 And it is hard. 447 00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:22,600 I get it. 448 00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:25,280 We have so many things competing for our attention. 449 00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:28,400 That's what makes it so magnetic. 450 00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:31,880 That's what makes it so rare is that people don't do it. 451 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:35,920 When my kids were growing up and we would go to a restaurant or a store or something and 452 00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:40,440 there was somebody just a few years older than them working there who did not communicate 453 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:43,920 well, didn't make eye contact, mumbled, that kind of stuff. 454 00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:47,800 When they would walk away, I'd look at my daughters, I'd say, see where the bar is. 455 00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:52,960 You just have to be better than that, right, which meant when they were little and they 456 00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:56,440 wanted to change their order in a restaurant, they would ask me, dad, can you ask them if 457 00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:57,440 I can add this? 458 00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:59,440 No, but you can. 459 00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:00,440 That's your job. 460 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:01,440 You have a want. 461 00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:02,520 It's a legitimate want. 462 00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:04,440 You need to ask for it. 463 00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:08,720 And they didn't want like they pushed back, but in order to get them to communicate on 464 00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:13,280 the level they need to communicate to be successful, we had to teach them to be not afraid to speak 465 00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:18,160 up appropriately, but also more importantly to listen to what's being said and what's 466 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:19,160 not being said. 467 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:25,760 I just said that because listening is such an important part of communication that many 468 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:28,920 people just overlook it. 469 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:34,000 They think about the next thing that they want to say and they're not responding to 470 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:36,760 what is said to them. 471 00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:43,800 So listening is so and what's more important than listening that pause after listening 472 00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:49,440 because that tells the other person, yeah, they were listening to everything that I was 473 00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:50,440 saying. 474 00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:51,440 Yeah. 475 00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:53,960 So, so, so bring all this full circle. 476 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:59,880 Just give me your favorite marketing or networking or communication tactic. 477 00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:02,040 Your favorite one. 478 00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:03,040 Yeah. 479 00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:04,040 Yeah. 480 00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:05,040 I think that's great. 481 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:10,800 So, you're talking to somebody, they give you an answer and in order to make sure you 482 00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:14,000 understand what they're saying, I paraphrase back to people. 483 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,280 Active listening is gold today. 484 00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:20,920 Like if you want to perhaps study anything, one thing that's going to improve your communication 485 00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:22,880 study active listening. 486 00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:24,760 So you're paraphrasing back to them. 487 00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:27,720 You're asking this is what I heard you say is that correct. 488 00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:31,640 And that allows them to one, know you heard them and two allows that if they're an external 489 00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:35,480 processor like me, they might say, that's not what I meant to say at all. 490 00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:40,160 What I meant to say is this and now we're getting into the root of the problem. 491 00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:44,640 And so in order to do that, we have to ask open ended questions. 492 00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:49,560 One of my favorite open ended question is why, but why is one of those double edged 493 00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:52,640 swords because it can make people feel defensive. 494 00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:56,800 When you look at somebody and say, why did you say that they will automatically get their 495 00:27:56,800 --> 00:28:00,560 guard up because they feel like they have to defend themselves. 496 00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:05,760 And so what I do is I tell people something like, I like that answer. 497 00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:07,360 Tell me how you got there. 498 00:28:07,360 --> 00:28:09,320 Why did you share that at this time? 499 00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:13,120 Like validate the answer, make it okay for them to share. 500 00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:17,600 Because when I say, I really like that answer, I've never heard that answer before. 501 00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:19,800 It makes them feel unique and special. 502 00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:25,480 And now they're more willing to say, this is why I got there because in my past, this 503 00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:28,520 has been an issue for me and now it's not. 504 00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:30,320 And this is why I said what I said. 505 00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:35,440 So it validates their, their opinion because it's valid. 506 00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:40,680 And then it allows them to push deeper into the why question because the longer you can 507 00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:45,560 keep somebody talking, the more likely you can solve their problem. 508 00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:49,640 Now today, when I tell executives that they push back, they're like, I don't have the 509 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:52,640 time to have these type of conversations. 510 00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:53,760 Okay. 511 00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:59,000 Then make time in your future calendar for these problems to reoccur. 512 00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:03,720 You could either make a little bit of time today or you could make time next week and 513 00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:07,920 the week after and the week after because you didn't address it today. 514 00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:08,920 Right? 515 00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:12,680 Take the time, ask the questions, push for the higher level thinking stuff. 516 00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:13,680 Tell me why you said that. 517 00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:14,680 I like that answer. 518 00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:16,080 Tell me why. 519 00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:19,760 Ask open ended questions to get to the root of the problem today. 520 00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:24,440 And the chances of you having to solve that problem with this person again are almost zero. 521 00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:26,080 It's great. 522 00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:27,080 All right. 523 00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:28,080 Scott, last question. 524 00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:29,080 Yeah. 525 00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:36,520 Give me one takeaway that my audience can use today or tomorrow. 526 00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:39,020 One takeaway. 527 00:29:39,020 --> 00:29:43,040 One takeaway is find a way to surprise and delight. 528 00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:44,720 We talked about this before we came on. 529 00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:46,000 I don't care to share this story. 530 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,800 I met a guy at a wedding that I went to a friend of mine. 531 00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:52,640 She was getting married actually a mastermind client of mine was getting married and I came 532 00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:54,720 to the wedding two and a half hours from my house. 533 00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:58,680 My wife went with me and we didn't know anybody, but I've never met a stranger. 534 00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:00,160 So like I'm excited for this event. 535 00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:02,080 My wife is more introverted than I am. 536 00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:06,000 And so she can function in extroverted world, but it takes a lot of energy. 537 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:07,400 It gives me energy. 538 00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:09,280 So we sit down at this table not knowing anybody. 539 00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:11,120 I talk to the guy next to me. 540 00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:12,560 He's drinking a bourbon like I am. 541 00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:13,560 I'm from Kentucky. 542 00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:14,760 I have to ask about that. 543 00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:16,080 It's state law. 544 00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:18,240 And so, you know, we talked about bourbon for 20 minutes. 545 00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:20,000 We talked about business for an hour. 546 00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:23,600 It was an incredible conversation from a guy I never met before. 547 00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:28,560 A week later when I get home, a week later on my porch is a package from this guy who 548 00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:29,560 I've never met. 549 00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:34,560 And I open it up and it's a $50 bottle of bourbon with a note in it that says, during 550 00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:38,240 our conversation, you mentioned you wanted to try this type of bourbon. 551 00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:39,920 I had a couple of bottles. 552 00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:40,920 This one's on me. 553 00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:42,920 Enjoy. 554 00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:46,320 And I told my wife, I said, that's such a baller move because it was something very 555 00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:52,160 personal, very specific in our conversation that he picked up on, made a note of, went 556 00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:57,200 to the bride, got my home address and sent me a bottle of bourbon, which is illegal, 557 00:30:57,200 --> 00:30:59,200 by the way, but people do it all the time, right? 558 00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:00,200 It's olive oil. 559 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:03,480 He shipped me olive oil, I should say, for the FBI people listening. 560 00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:04,480 The postmasters. 561 00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:06,560 They just ship it through the post office. 562 00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:10,840 Anywho, it made me realize there's so much I can do in these conversations with people 563 00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:13,440 to plus the experience. 564 00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:17,520 To after we talk, instead of sending them an email, send them something that we talked 565 00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:18,600 about. 566 00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:22,200 Even if that's something as simple as a box of bourbon chocolates because I'm from Kentucky 567 00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:24,280 and that's something they'll remember from me. 568 00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:28,600 And that cost me six bucks to send that to them. 569 00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:32,360 And I'm like, that's just something that if this guy asked me to come and speak at his 570 00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:36,680 organization today, you better believe I'm going to do everything I can to get there. 571 00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:39,760 And it's not about the $50 bottle of bourbon. 572 00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:44,960 It's about the fact that we talked about this particular kind within an hour and a half 573 00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:46,240 conversation. 574 00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:50,440 He made a mental note when out of his way to ship me something. 575 00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:53,040 To me, that's next level networking right there. 576 00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:55,600 And I've never experienced anything like it. 577 00:31:55,600 --> 00:31:57,600 And it's my new standard. 578 00:31:57,600 --> 00:31:58,600 Absolutely. 579 00:31:58,600 --> 00:31:59,600 Fantastic. 580 00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:05,880 Scott, if somebody wants to get hold of you, whether they wanted your services, they wanted 581 00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:10,280 to consult with you or just talk to you, how would they do it? 582 00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:15,080 So they can go to my website, speakingofharvey.com, or they can email me directly. 583 00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:17,920 It's just scott at speakingofharvey.com. 584 00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:20,400 And I reply back personally to all of my emails. 585 00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:24,640 I have an assistant that helps with some other things, but you email me, you get me. 586 00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:26,320 And you can ask questions. 587 00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:30,520 We can talk about, we can set up a free consultation call to see what I can do for you or your 588 00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:32,020 organization. 589 00:32:32,020 --> 00:32:34,000 And if at the end of that call, it doesn't make sense. 590 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:37,960 We're still friends and I have a new network somewhere. 591 00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:38,960 That's fantastic. 592 00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:43,120 Scott, thank you so much for coming on the podcast today. 593 00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:44,120 Thank you for having me. 594 00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:47,520 Well, that's a wrap, folks. 595 00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:53,040 A huge thank you to our special guests for sharing such incredible insights today. 596 00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:59,000 And of course, a big shout out to you, our amazing listeners for tuning in and spending 597 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:00,680 your time with us. 598 00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:04,440 Remember, networking isn't about being perfect. 599 00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:06,160 It's about being present. 600 00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:11,440 So take what you've learned today, get out there, and make some meaningful connections. 601 00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:16,520 If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave us a review and share 602 00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:20,840 it with someone who could use a little networking inspiration. 603 00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:23,160 Let's keep the conversation going. 604 00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:29,920 You can find me on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or my website, MichaelAForman.com. 605 00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:37,160 Remember, until next time, keep practicing, keep connecting, and keep building those relationships. 606 00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:42,040 This is Michael A. Foreman, signing off, take care, and happy networking. 607 00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:43,040 Last. 608 00:33:43,040 --> 00:34:08,300 Day.