Here we go, let's see Yeah, yeah, yeah, well
we did a test today and It's not working. Oh
There it goes. There it goes. There was a little
there was a little Delay a little delay and Facebook
is now Live so this is awesome. Hey, what's up?
Welcome to TJ night Friday Night Live, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. TTJ Friday Night Live,
and I think we are good to go. I just want to
make sure that we are good to go. Yes, we are
good to go. Let's get to it. You know, this whole
thing is very new, but I love what we're doing.
And for those who, you know, are following...
Following us. I thank you for following us. So
for those who don't know me, I'm Michael Burt
and For the last two weeks. I've been talking
about breaking the illusion creating your purpose
after disruption and This week we're talking
about healing and healing is not a straight line
and we're talking about healing in a way where
you you've had some kind of disruption in your
life or you had some kind of trauma in your life
and you're looking to really heal from all of
that, okay? And tonight is for anybody who really
is saying, you know, I was doing good or I was
doing better in my life coming from the past
when you say I'm doing better, but you say I
was doing better. then anxiety showed up or I
was doing better and then sadness hit me again
you know we all have our emotions right or you
were doing better and then you got triggered
by something or someone and you didn't like who
you became in that moment you know things happen
right again we're human or you know you were
doing great and then happiness showed up right
so I would say that right there is the moment
the illusion of the past, it continues to show
up for you, right? Because that's, I believe,
what I assert, rather, is that when people start
grading themselves, we always try to grade ourselves
and say, you know, maybe I was like an A plus
today, or a B, or a C, or a D. You know, we grade
ourselves maybe not in the letters, but we put
who we're becoming on certain emotions, right?
You might start saying things like, man, I thought
I was past this. You know, I thought the past
was in the past. Or you might start saying that
maybe I'm not healed from the disruption or the
trauma that I was going through. And maybe you're
like, I thought I was going through all this,
and I was past all this. But man, I'm at the
freaking beginning again. All right. So let me
just kind of tell you something simple about
all that, right? Look, healing is not a straight
line. Okay, healing will have setbacks, but that
doesn't mean that you're at the beginning. So
if something shows up for you, has showed up
for you in the past or shows up for you again,
I want you to really hear me here. Like don't
bring shame when those emotions show up. One
of the things that I've learned and am learning
is being non -resistant. So when those emotions
show up, just let them be what they are, and
then you can really call them out as, you know,
as what they are. You know, just don't be run
by them, okay? And when those feelings show up,
people use the word broken, right? You're not
broken, okay? What I assert is that that's your
system, your nervous system bringing something
up that it's finally ready to process, okay?
Now... If I don't know if people here cuz I can't
see I have all this other stuff going on if you're
in the chat I hope you're here, you know put
in there where you're from and You can type in
like one word that describes what you're going
Through and what's going on inside of you right
now? You know one word is good like I'm you know
Hank everything I'm anxious right now or things
are heavy or I'm irritated or I feel shut down
or I'm numb or I'm scattered or I feel tense
or You may be like I feel calm. I feel clear
all right and for people who are listening on
the podcast You can comment on whatever RSS platform
that you're on or would love for you to give
a review as well. Or if you're watching the replay
on any of the platforms, just say, you know,
replay, type replay and say what it is that you're
going through, what's going on with you on the
inside, okay? And I hope you guys like we we've
been working on things and we're trying to elevate
We're elevating not trying to we're elevating
and we've got this little slideshow for you here.
Okay, so The illusions were breaking from illusion
to truth. So Here we go So what we're doing tonight
is this we're not going to turn this into a therapy
session I'm not a therapist. I'm a coach Right?
I'm a coach, entrepreneur, podcaster, all that
good stuff. Right? Not a therapist. So we're
not going to tell long stories. And what we're
going to really get into is practicing our leadership
of who we are and how we push ourselves, or not
even push ourselves, but just be who we are in
the messy middle. All right? Because the biggest
illusion people live in during the healing is
this. Like, you might still feel certain things.
And because you feel those certain things, you
might say, man, I am not healed or I must not
be healed. And I would assert to you that that's
not true. OK. And what it is is that, you know,
healing isn't never feeling the thing again,
because things again, we're human. So you're
going to have those emotions. But healing is
when the memory can be there. But like I said
in the clips if you've been watching the clips
on Instagram or Facebook, I've said this before
Healing is the memory Right or healing is when
the memory can be there for you, but it doesn't
drive the car or you basically you don't allow
it to Dictate your being in that moment. So let's
kind of make it real for you here, so would I
say what a memory shows up and you don't spiral
right that's what i'm talking about or a trigger
can hit and you don't explode or a heavy day
can come and you don't collapse into the old
identity so when you're going through those things
that's healing right you're healing from the
trauma you're healing from the disruption and
i'm speaking from experience right not from something
i heard from somebody else or that i read in
the book or a book right so when you're going
through that that's healing And the proof isn't
that the feeling has disappeared. The proof in
all of that, in that middle space, this healing
space, is that you can notice the feeling without
becoming who you used to be, okay? And... You
know, you... Here's what I would say. the problem
is when people feel something again they they
don't just feel it they start talking to themselves
or the mind starts going right and you start
speaking in your head and you're like man here
we go again or i'm never going to change or transform
like or this is a big one this always happens
to me or you know i'm saying like or i'm at the
beginning and that self -talk right there it
turns a moment into a whole situation and you
start living in that in that idea of that's not
even real all right you just made it up right
so tonight i'm going to give you a simple practice
you can use at any time that feeling shows up
for you all right and like i said here the feeling
shows up again the self -talk starts here we
go again i'm back at the beginning i'm never
going to change right i really like these these
little uh these slides here i hope you like them
too okay so um Here we go. So what we're going
to do is talk about naming the state, right?
Choosing the next move, and then just making
it happen. Because when you name the state of
where you at, the state of being, the emotion,
you can create distance. And when you have distance,
you have choice. Because you're really, like
with my client today, I was saying that she's,
she's, she's really noticing who she's being
in moments. And she's like, I'm looking at myself.
I'm watching myself. I'm seeing myself. And that's
awareness. That's a place of observance. And
when you have that place of observance, you have
choice. And when you have choice, you can continue
to lead yourself through those moments when you
feel like the old identity is showing up or you're
just not in the moment that you feel like you're
making progress. All right? And I just really
want to say this clearly. A hard moment, which
we all have, it's not failure. And I've said
this before, it's information, right? It's your
system saying, here's what still has energy,
here's what still needs leadership, or here's
what you're ready to handle now, but in a different
space, okay? You know, all this stuff shows up,
right? And you want to really allow yourself
to just allow yourself to be in those spaces,
but again, don't let it dictate who you become
or who you be. Okay? So here's the practice,
y 'all. We're gonna do a live practice. I want
you to grab your phone, your phone notes or whatever
you need to do, a piece of paper. Something simple
something easy. This is we're not going deep
here. Just a practice that you can use when You
when things like that show up in your that in
your that healing space, you know We're always
in a space of healing from old old things that
show up old traumas old old disruptions so, you
know You never ever you do get rid of things
but things always show up. So this is the practice
they can use when when emotions from the past
show up okay so one line each just keep it simple
keep it clean and like right here on the the
screen just write it that write it this way my
state right now is whatever your state is you
know just pick one word don't make it complicated
like we said earlier like when we when you came
in said is am i heavy am i calm am i clear am
i irritated you know all those things just don't
make it complicated okay and then what you're
going to do is write what triggered it or what
caught what allowed you to allow that emotion
to show up for you when um you now say that things
are heavy or whatever it is what triggered it
was a straight line all right keep it simple
you know um some a lot of things trigger people
a text or memory a conversation a bill, you know,
some memory of a place, a thought, even a tone
where somebody says something to you in a certain
way, and you're like, uh -uh, who you talking
to do like that, right? So anything like that
can show up for you, right? Now write this down,
which is when I'm in this state, right, when
I'm in this state, my default pattern is That's
number three When I'm in this state my default
pattern is what do you what do you usually do
when you get triggered? Okay, do you isolate?
Do you scroll on social media? You know, do you
snap at people? or do you shut down or Like what
a lot of people do is you people please because
you're overcompensating for something right or
do you overthink or what I used to a portion
of my life. What I did was just avoid, all right?
Tell the truth on yourself. That's just, that's
between you, you and you, right? And then after
that, you write down what my next move is in
the next two hours is. Now in this space right
here, you, people want to make it complicated.
Just don't make it complicated. It's not your
whole life plan, right? It, we're not, hey, I'm
not Ayanna Van Zandt. This is not fixing your
whole life, right? We're not fix your life. Just
something simple, something easy. My next move
in the next two hours is whatever that might
be for you. Just your one next move. And it could
look like anything, like a breath or a walk or
a glass of water, an honest text to someone,
one boundary that you're setting up for yourself,
or just a small action that interrupts. the default
pattern that shows up for you when those old
emotions and old feelings or disruptive feelings
show up okay and then number five my 24 hour
proof is or basically what you're going to do
in the next 24 hours i will prove i'm leading
myself by all right one proof step meaning you
know something that you can actually finish okay
just make it simple whatever that next thing
is in the next 24 hours to continue to lead yourself
to your future identity walk through this messy
middle of healing and make it easy so that you
can actually finish very simple okay that is
the practice that is the practice okay now again
it's going to make it very easy very simple um
just the state, the trigger, the default pattern,
the next move in the next two hours, and then
the proof, the 24 -hour proof that you've made
it through whatever that emotion shows up. And
what you do is you continue to do that over and
over again so that you can make that emotion
that shows up flat. So it doesn't allow you to
lose who you're becoming in this healing space,
okay? All right. Now, like I said right here,
do something easy. Water, food, a 10 -minute
walk, an honest text, you know, you can read
it here, a boundary, 10 -minute on whatever the
task is, or the phone down for 30 minutes. If
you've been watching the clips, I mean, sometimes
I take a nap, you know, if I just got to get
away for a minute and just breathe out and just
take a nap, okay? Now, just a quick... just quick
coaching coaching session for you in these moments
what happens is in our minds we try to revert
back because we're we kind of shame ourselves
don't shame yourself what's what's showing up
is just information um just what i remember somebody
i was watching something or reading something
i can't remember what it was but um in what in
my business and one of my businesses i have to
do sales right and i The story that I have around
sales is that I hate it. But I heard somebody
say, you know what sales is? I mean, what a no
is, because I don't like to hear no. And I made
that mean something. I don't now, because I got
that flat. But I was like, I hate hearing no.
I hated hearing no. And when I heard someone
say, this is a lady who was talking about something.
She said, no, all it is is information. A no?
is information. That's it. Sometimes what happens
is what we made no mean for us is that I'm not
good enough or nobody likes me or whatever the
story may be. And the no is just a no, right?
So in this process, don't make the next move
too big. Just make it small if you need to also
put a time on it. When are you doing it by? uh
your your default pattern is it is the pass right
trying to drive you um and what we're doing is
now leading yourself through all that and not
letting the emotion or the default pattern the
old identity speak for you you get to lead it
all right and when you get proof of going going
through all of this in your last step step five
your proof It's not about being perfect. Right?
Your proof is that you're a leader for yourself.
Okay? Self leadership is one of the first mastery
of becoming a leader for other people. So you
want to start to lead yourself through things
and just be there for yourself. Then we show
up for yourself over and over again through this
healing space. You get to know yourself in a
different way. You get to step forward into the
identity that's calling you forward, and you're
really stepping up into a new realm of being.
Okay? And these steps might be, you know, easy
and simple sounding, but simplicity is probably
the best way to do this thing. You know, we sometimes,
as humans, try to make things complex. I know
I do. Let's not do that. Okay, let's not make
things complex. All right, family. And if anything
else comes up for you this week, you know, here's
what I want you to stop doing. Stop turning a
feeling into a verdict about who you are. I know,
you know, sometimes we just do that, you know?
What I said earlier today was a feeling is like
a weather system. It just moves right through
you. But if you let it drive the car, you, it
starts making decisions for you and you don't
want to do that. It starts picking your ideas,
your tones, what you're making things mean. Somebody
might say something to you and you're like, what
you talking about? You know what I'm saying?
Your being just shifts. You don't want it to
start picking your actions and you don't want
it to start picking your future. You get to do
that. And that's why I keep saying, name the
state. you choose the next move and Whatever
just to clarify some things about leadership.
I talked about it earlier Self leadership is
when you can tell the truth about what's happening
inside of you, you know That's why we said it
earlier by saying, you know, what's going on
inside of you? You know, you want to call that
stuff out so you can create the space Between
you and the emotion and then you could observe
it for yourself. Okay, so Self -leadership is
when you call, when you tell the truth about
what's happening and you don't let it run your
life, right? It sounds much like, you know, this
is anxiety, not I have it, right? This is anxiety
or this is heaviness or this is irritation. And
I'm still going to choose my next move from who
I said I am, the future identity that I'm. that
I created for myself is now calling me forward,
right? Not from the mood or not from the trigger
and not from the old pattern. Okay? So if you
take nothing else from week two, this week, healing
is not a straight line. Take this, you know,
you don't need a perfect day. You just need the
next move, right? And the next move done with
integrity. can change your whole night. And when
I talk about integrity, I'm not talking about
in a space where right versus wrong or wrong
versus right, not a moral situation, but integrity
is in the space of I'm doing what I said I'm
going to do and I'm going to do it by a certain
time. Okay. And if you want something that you
can let me find it here. If you want something
that You that you can use or sit with after these
these Friday night lives I got a free chapter
of the empowered path for you It's it's you know,
it's a practice that you can return to when your
mind gets loud you need you know, you need to
come back to yourself and Let me see Here is
the link for you here Let me get it for you here.
That is the link. Holla, holla, holla. That's
the link for you. And that's for the first chapter
there, OK? And I want you to stay with the Thrivo
journey, OK? We're coming to an end here. And
stay with the Thrivo journey or your RSS platforms.
Like I said in the beginning, if you want to
give us a rating, that'd be awesome. on YouTube,
if you like what we're talking about, how we're
building, give us a subscribe, you know, give
us a like. And Monday mornings at 7am, we drop
new episodes with guests every every every Monday
morning at 7am. And what we're doing also is
doing it as a preview and we have the chat open.
I'll be there if you want to. you know communicate
in the chat with me and we'll do that while the
live is premiering okay and so i just want to
say thank you for being here i love you keep
amen keep it simple this week name it choose
it choose the next move and then do the next
thing okay you're powerful human beings and that's
what i stand for in my life in your life and
we can do this human life thing better okay and
um ivan is calling in with the following question
testing the future cam is off okay well that's
interesting so now that you know that live you
can call in with a um with a live question i
don't know how you i guess are we going to test
this live while we're doing this um let's see
here I don't know if we're gonna do it. There
it goes, I can hear you. And what's your question?
Yes. Hi, Michael, thanks for having me on the
show, having a really great time. So I was curious
to know when you talk about your, you know, taking
the 10 minute break to just relax your mind,
what do you say to somebody who has a hard time
taking that 10 minutes? I would ask yourself,
what is it about you that you can't take 10 minutes?
What's showing up for you that you can't take
10 minutes? So basically, try to understand what
it is that's stopping you. Yes. Do you feel that
sometimes that that might Hold a person back
and maybe they just need to stop whatever they're
doing and just go just go for it Take that 10
-minute walk or that 10 -minute break or meditate
for the 10 minutes. Whatever it is. Yes, you
know if if you can't find the 10 minutes walk
do something that's That really allows you to
take your mind off of the moment that triggers
you or that showed up for you It might be you
know playing a video game for a second or You
know something that's relevant to allowing yourself
to really settle your steady steady yourself
and Relax your nervous system. So what a 10 -minute
walk is just an example but if you can't allow
yourself to show up for yourself in that way,
then I would say go within and Look at like what's
stopping you from? Taking that 10 minutes for
yourself That make sense Thank you, and thank
you for being here All right, so that was amazing
And we did that's the first time we did that
so this is amazing so This is what we do so continue
to come on Friday night lives and I look forward
to seeing you here and Have an amazing, amazing
weekend and the rest of the week. Y 'all take
care. And let's make thriving our new normal.
Bye bye.