WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.360 says, hey, what do you think about jumping out 00:00:01.360 --> 00:00:03.819 of planes? And then I was like, find me up. I 00:00:03.819 --> 00:00:06.080 get separated from everybody else. Wait, why 00:00:06.080 --> 00:00:07.719 am I getting separated from everybody else? They 00:00:07.719 --> 00:00:11.259 sent me to some barracks by myself. Ended up 00:00:11.259 --> 00:00:13.359 working for a major. Angry Black Woman thing 00:00:13.359 --> 00:00:15.960 was connected to you? You know what's crazy? 00:00:16.260 --> 00:00:18.420 I thought it was me, because nobody talked about 00:00:18.420 --> 00:00:21.820 that. And I thought, I'll work even harder. So 00:00:21.820 --> 00:00:24.039 I'm already working 50 hours a week. I'll work 00:00:24.039 --> 00:00:25.859 60 hours a week, because I'm going to prove myself. 00:00:26.599 --> 00:00:30.500 Then got you to realize that you had to make 00:00:30.500 --> 00:00:33.079 a shift for yourself, for your sustainability. 00:00:33.280 --> 00:00:36.579 When I got laid off the second time. The light 00:00:36.579 --> 00:00:40.659 shined. For some reason, I always found myself 00:00:40.659 --> 00:00:44.700 in extremely toxic organizations, where I had 00:00:44.700 --> 00:00:47.299 to protect employees, where I had to stand up 00:00:47.299 --> 00:00:50.259 to executive leaders. And I had thought at that 00:00:50.259 --> 00:00:52.960 time that I thought, oh, I can't ever get any 00:00:52.960 --> 00:00:56.219 more toxic than this. God had to kick me out 00:00:56.219 --> 00:00:57.899 because I still would have been trying to prove 00:00:57.899 --> 00:01:00.520 myself. I ended up working with an executive 00:01:00.520 --> 00:01:03.420 coach. Whatever, she just, she was tough because 00:01:03.420 --> 00:01:05.599 I know how to do the smile and okay, okay, well, 00:01:05.799 --> 00:01:08.670 nothing's wrong. First of all, niching down or 00:01:08.670 --> 00:01:10.689 niching down, however you want to say it, is 00:01:10.689 --> 00:01:14.590 probably more ideal for a person. Because in 00:01:14.590 --> 00:01:16.450 that, like you said, what you do like it, what 00:01:16.450 --> 00:01:18.750 you don't like. And if you find out what you 00:01:18.750 --> 00:01:21.909 do like, there can be more fulfillment just in 00:01:21.909 --> 00:01:23.549 your dailies. Like, you know, you're fulfilling 00:01:23.549 --> 00:01:25.510 yourself because it's something that you love. 00:01:25.609 --> 00:01:27.829 Probably happier. Of course. You find people 00:01:27.829 --> 00:01:31.939 being happier. Oh, I can tell the energy shift 00:01:31.939 --> 00:01:34.519 with my client who doesn't like people. We finally 00:01:34.519 --> 00:01:36.299 started figuring out what he does like. What's 00:01:36.299 --> 00:01:37.939 up, fam? Before we get into this conversation, 00:01:38.060 --> 00:01:39.980 let me say this. Look, I know it's a thing, right? 00:01:40.459 --> 00:01:42.879 But if what we do here on this channel speaks 00:01:42.879 --> 00:01:45.599 to you, if it lifts you, centers you, or helps 00:01:45.599 --> 00:01:49.439 you see your life a little clearer. I invite 00:01:49.439 --> 00:01:52.019 you to like the video and subscribe so you stay 00:01:52.019 --> 00:01:54.760 connected. And if you want these conversations 00:01:54.760 --> 00:01:57.420 with you beyond YouTube, download the Thrillable 00:01:57.420 --> 00:01:59.939 Journey podcast on your favorite RSS platform. 00:02:00.340 --> 00:02:03.459 It is a small ass that goes a long way and it 00:02:03.459 --> 00:02:06.120 really truly helps us create the kind of content 00:02:06.120 --> 00:02:09.860 that doesn't just entertain but actually supports 00:02:09.860 --> 00:02:13.560 your journey of growth and alignment. So hit 00:02:13.560 --> 00:02:18.000 that like, subscribe, let's breathe in, get present. 00:02:18.139 --> 00:02:21.740 step into the conversation. Hello, Monique Gibson 00:02:21.740 --> 00:02:25.740 is on the Thrivewell Journey podcast today. First 00:02:25.740 --> 00:02:28.800 of all, I want to just say, welcome to the podcast. 00:02:29.439 --> 00:02:32.699 How you doing? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 00:02:32.719 --> 00:02:36.379 I'm so honored to be asked. I really am. I'm, 00:02:36.379 --> 00:02:41.240 I'm, I'm excited. I'm excited too. I, well, just 00:02:41.240 --> 00:02:44.240 to create just some context here. I've known 00:02:44.240 --> 00:02:49.439 you since what? Oh my God, 19. the late 90s? 00:02:51.460 --> 00:02:57.759 2002? 2002? No, I think it was before then. Like 00:02:57.759 --> 00:03:02.159 99 2000. So we have we have history, right? Yeah. 00:03:02.259 --> 00:03:04.879 One of the things I found find out with you know, 00:03:04.960 --> 00:03:07.379 people that I've known is that they have extraordinary 00:03:07.379 --> 00:03:10.219 stories that I don't even know about. And I was 00:03:10.219 --> 00:03:12.680 going across some of the social media and I saw 00:03:12.680 --> 00:03:18.599 you in a post. And I was like, This is Mo? What? 00:03:20.479 --> 00:03:23.680 Like, flabbergasted. I was like, who is this 00:03:23.680 --> 00:03:26.120 person that I've known for so long and really 00:03:26.120 --> 00:03:28.520 don't know the ins and outs of who you are, which 00:03:28.520 --> 00:03:33.000 is why you're here. And I want to just kind of, 00:03:33.000 --> 00:03:34.900 before we get to the, you know, the titles and 00:03:34.900 --> 00:03:37.419 the roles and the accomplishments, I want to 00:03:37.419 --> 00:03:40.300 ask you, like, I'm curious, like, what's one 00:03:40.300 --> 00:03:44.180 belief that has remained unchanged for you, no 00:03:44.180 --> 00:03:47.129 matter where life has taken you? Because what 00:03:47.129 --> 00:03:49.969 I'm finding out, you have many, many places that 00:03:49.969 --> 00:03:52.669 you've gone in your life and your story. And 00:03:52.669 --> 00:03:56.009 I want to know. First thing that came to my mind, 00:03:56.810 --> 00:04:01.250 I have to put in the work, period. Nobody's going 00:04:01.250 --> 00:04:04.250 to give me anything. I got to work for everything 00:04:04.250 --> 00:04:10.009 that I want. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. And with 00:04:10.009 --> 00:04:12.349 all that, like, put in the work, right? Like, 00:04:12.389 --> 00:04:15.270 so you've... You've done a lot of things. You, 00:04:15.270 --> 00:04:19.189 you have a Juris Doctorate. You've, you know, 00:04:19.269 --> 00:04:21.870 I mean, it's a lot of things. I can just list 00:04:21.870 --> 00:04:25.949 them, but I want to go back to the beginning. 00:04:26.209 --> 00:04:28.430 Like in your professional career, you started 00:04:28.430 --> 00:04:32.930 as an arm in the army. Um, from my research, 00:04:33.250 --> 00:04:36.629 uh, I'm not going to try to pronounce it in Germany. 00:04:37.170 --> 00:04:41.009 All right. Yes. So if I could back up before 00:04:41.009 --> 00:04:45.569 then, so yes. In school, in the third grade, 00:04:45.670 --> 00:04:49.250 I had a teacher who, she just didn't like me. 00:04:49.449 --> 00:04:52.009 She wanted to make everything challenging for 00:04:52.009 --> 00:04:54.470 me. She wanted to hold me back a grade. Well, 00:04:54.470 --> 00:04:57.149 fortunately, in the fourth grade, I had Mrs. 00:04:57.490 --> 00:05:00.389 Ash. Mrs. Ash, she didn't take any mess from 00:05:00.389 --> 00:05:04.449 me. And she was like, you're real smart. By the 00:05:04.449 --> 00:05:05.910 time I got to the fifth grade, I was still in 00:05:05.910 --> 00:05:07.689 her classroom. She put me in the eighth grade 00:05:07.689 --> 00:05:10.870 math book and I was doing the math. So she saw 00:05:10.870 --> 00:05:15.480 something in me. that I didn't even know that 00:05:15.480 --> 00:05:18.079 I had, but she gave me a chance and she developed 00:05:18.079 --> 00:05:20.980 that. So then I started excelling in school, 00:05:21.139 --> 00:05:23.699 excelling in school. And then when I got to high 00:05:23.699 --> 00:05:26.699 school, I was goody two shoes. Oh, you so smart. 00:05:26.959 --> 00:05:29.839 So then I tried to dumb myself down. Stopped 00:05:29.839 --> 00:05:34.879 going to class. Barely graduated. Somehow I found 00:05:34.879 --> 00:05:37.019 out about Grand Valley. It was college at the 00:05:37.019 --> 00:05:41.639 time. Went, flunked, played all day. Met a friend 00:05:41.639 --> 00:05:43.939 there. We just played all day. Never went to 00:05:43.939 --> 00:05:46.519 the library, just played. Army recruiter calls. 00:05:47.300 --> 00:05:48.639 Says, hey, what do you think about jumping out 00:05:48.639 --> 00:05:52.060 of planes? And then I was like, sign me up. Why 00:05:52.060 --> 00:05:55.639 not? Why not? No discipline, just sign me up. 00:05:56.199 --> 00:05:59.579 So go through, you know, the tests and things. 00:06:01.079 --> 00:06:03.319 So my best friend at the time, she went back 00:06:03.319 --> 00:06:05.379 to college because she was like, yeah, I changed 00:06:05.379 --> 00:06:07.100 my mind. So I was like, okay, forget it. I changed 00:06:07.100 --> 00:06:08.759 my mind too. They come knocking on the door. 00:06:09.480 --> 00:06:12.740 Y 'all ready? Nah, we changed our mind. Yeah, 00:06:12.759 --> 00:06:18.060 no. You ready? So, we go to boot camp. Go to 00:06:18.060 --> 00:06:21.360 boot camp. I promise I'm not making this up. 00:06:21.439 --> 00:06:25.519 I was so good at everything that we did on the 00:06:25.519 --> 00:06:28.000 gun range. I had never shot a weapon before. 00:06:28.480 --> 00:06:31.379 Expert marksman. I'm marching. It didn't matter 00:06:31.379 --> 00:06:32.959 how much weight they gave me. I'm like do do 00:06:32.959 --> 00:06:35.680 do do do do. Everything we did, I was on the 00:06:35.680 --> 00:06:38.290 range one day. and I'm laying on my stomach on 00:06:38.290 --> 00:06:40.490 the range. Drill Sergeant comes in my ear, he 00:06:40.490 --> 00:06:44.550 says, are you undercover CID? I said, Drill Sergeant, 00:06:44.569 --> 00:06:47.490 what? Are you undercover CID? I didn't even know 00:06:47.490 --> 00:06:51.889 what CID was. CID, Criminal Investigations Department. 00:06:52.069 --> 00:06:54.269 They thought I was undercover looking for something 00:06:54.269 --> 00:06:56.329 I guess the drill sergeants were doing. Because 00:06:56.329 --> 00:06:59.269 you're so good? Because it just came natural 00:06:59.269 --> 00:07:01.910 to me. I loved it. Loved the discipline. I loved 00:07:01.910 --> 00:07:05.160 the challenge. I was an athlete. Very competitive. 00:07:05.420 --> 00:07:09.959 It just worked for me. So ended up, we're graduating. 00:07:10.100 --> 00:07:12.819 They go, everybody's going to Germany. What? 00:07:16.180 --> 00:07:21.639 I am. I was like, it's okay, babe. You'll be 00:07:21.639 --> 00:07:24.720 okay. Oh, don't get me started about my mom. 00:07:25.699 --> 00:07:28.040 Whatever you want to do, you do it. Okay, man, 00:07:28.040 --> 00:07:29.920 I'm going to be okay. You're going to be okay. 00:07:30.560 --> 00:07:35.600 Get to spexing in Germany. On assignment I get 00:07:35.600 --> 00:07:41.100 separated from everybody else They send me to 00:07:41.100 --> 00:07:45.680 to some barracks by myself Ended up working for 00:07:45.680 --> 00:07:48.620 a major Again, I still had some development to 00:07:48.620 --> 00:07:51.120 do I've always had a mouth He tells me to carry 00:07:51.120 --> 00:07:53.759 some you know, ream of paper when they have ten 00:07:53.759 --> 00:07:58.139 reams in a box. Oh, yeah That's like 40 pounds. 00:07:58.139 --> 00:08:01.220 It was old Germany. So it was like up two flights 00:08:01.220 --> 00:08:04.230 of stairs. So he says, you know Gamel, that's 00:08:04.230 --> 00:08:06.209 my maiden name. Go down there and get that box. 00:08:07.389 --> 00:08:12.470 Sir, you go get it. So, buffing floors at night. 00:08:12.470 --> 00:08:14.750 You told my man go get it, you go get it. Yes, 00:08:14.750 --> 00:08:17.589 I did. You go get it. It's heavy. You go get 00:08:17.589 --> 00:08:23.329 it. You big burly, you go get it. No way. I was 00:08:23.329 --> 00:08:26.089 an expert floor buffer, but he saw something 00:08:26.089 --> 00:08:28.610 in me. He said, you know what? You real spicy. 00:08:28.689 --> 00:08:31.110 He said, but you smart. He said, you just need 00:08:31.110 --> 00:08:33.120 to work on that attitude. He said, where do you 00:08:33.120 --> 00:08:35.460 want to go next? I said, if you're that great, 00:08:35.539 --> 00:08:40.460 send me to the Pentagon. That was right when 00:08:40.460 --> 00:08:43.179 Desert, I think it was Desert Storm started rolling 00:08:43.179 --> 00:08:48.299 up, people being sent over to Desert Storm. I 00:08:48.299 --> 00:08:53.019 get orders to go to the Pentagon. I said, how 00:08:53.019 --> 00:08:56.559 did that happen? How did that happen? Get to 00:08:56.559 --> 00:08:59.620 the Pentagon. I'm in a meeting, all these officers. 00:08:59.899 --> 00:09:01.919 We need somebody who can do Harvard graphics 00:09:01.919 --> 00:09:05.620 at the time. We need somebody who can do this. 00:09:06.620 --> 00:09:09.360 We need somebody. One of them says, dog on it, 00:09:09.460 --> 00:09:11.500 soldier, what can't you do? I said, that would 00:09:11.500 --> 00:09:13.620 be nothing. I said, if it's something I don't 00:09:13.620 --> 00:09:15.899 know how to do, I'll figure it out. They were 00:09:15.899 --> 00:09:21.100 like, oh, oh, oh. I ended up working with military 00:09:21.100 --> 00:09:25.200 personnel at the White House. I mean, 19. 19 00:09:25.200 --> 00:09:28.659 years old. But you came in with gusto. Yes, yes. 00:09:28.840 --> 00:09:34.539 But that gusto had a sergeant that I didn't particularly 00:09:34.539 --> 00:09:39.340 care for. I said, you know, I'm tired of dealing 00:09:39.340 --> 00:09:40.960 with you. He would make all these off the walk. 00:09:41.039 --> 00:09:46.600 I'm getting out. Got out. I would have loved 00:09:46.600 --> 00:09:50.240 to have made it a career, but that one bad decision 00:09:50.240 --> 00:09:53.659 based on my emotions, I'm getting out. Forget 00:09:53.659 --> 00:09:58.179 y 'all. Wow, so you made it that far that won't 00:09:58.179 --> 00:10:01.440 that one moment kind of shifted everything yeah, 00:10:01.440 --> 00:10:05.799 and you end up going to the public sector Yeah 00:10:05.799 --> 00:10:13.340 this that's interesting so like when Your life 00:10:13.340 --> 00:10:15.820 has like just automatically shifted like that 00:10:15.820 --> 00:10:19.919 because I mean I would just assume that doing 00:10:19.919 --> 00:10:22.000 from what I've heard, like being in the military, 00:10:22.240 --> 00:10:24.500 it's, you know, it's no games, you know, you're, 00:10:24.620 --> 00:10:26.879 it's really strict, which you said you like, 00:10:27.399 --> 00:10:31.120 like how that shift, where were you mentally 00:10:31.120 --> 00:10:34.039 when you had to, when you just left the, you 00:10:34.039 --> 00:10:37.860 know, the private sector or the, or the army 00:10:37.860 --> 00:10:41.080 and all that good stuff to go to the public? 00:10:41.919 --> 00:10:44.460 Honestly, I thought I was hot stuff. I was like, 00:10:44.919 --> 00:10:47.559 I got the Pentagon on my resume. I'm a military 00:10:47.559 --> 00:10:55.519 veteran. Yeah. Yeah. So quickly learned. Folks 00:10:55.519 --> 00:11:00.320 don't really care about that. I never did fully 00:11:00.320 --> 00:11:04.240 transition successfully from a military, very 00:11:04.240 --> 00:11:08.039 structured atmosphere, teamwork. It doesn't matter 00:11:08.039 --> 00:11:11.440 if I like you. I've got your back. We don't throw 00:11:11.440 --> 00:11:13.659 each other under the bus. That was my experience. 00:11:14.080 --> 00:11:16.559 I didn't realize in corporate wasn't the same. 00:11:16.700 --> 00:11:18.740 You get to a meeting, your colleague throws you 00:11:18.740 --> 00:11:20.299 under the bus and you're like, wait a minute, 00:11:20.480 --> 00:11:22.519 we're on the same team. What are we doing here? 00:11:23.259 --> 00:11:26.779 So I never fully successfully made that transition 00:11:26.779 --> 00:11:31.740 because I liked the idea of the harder I work, 00:11:32.039 --> 00:11:35.059 the more I'll be rewarded. Cause it's fair to 00:11:35.059 --> 00:11:38.659 me. Like, okay. Oh, it's fair. Oh, competition. 00:11:39.399 --> 00:11:42.740 Oh, even better. It's not like that in corporate 00:11:42.740 --> 00:11:45.259 America. In corporate America. doesn't matter 00:11:45.259 --> 00:11:48.340 how smart you are you know it's not always the 00:11:48.340 --> 00:11:50.259 people who are with the most skilled and most 00:11:50.259 --> 00:11:53.799 competent who get promoted it was more that likeability 00:11:53.799 --> 00:11:58.919 factor which up until that point you know i didn't 00:11:58.919 --> 00:12:03.379 even really understand what that was um yeah 00:12:03.379 --> 00:12:07.639 so you had to make it you had to make a you had 00:12:07.639 --> 00:12:11.500 to make a real mental shift at that point well 00:12:11.500 --> 00:12:14.159 so i didn't make it at that point It took me 00:12:14.159 --> 00:12:19.899 it took me 20 years to get it because it just 00:12:19.899 --> 00:12:23.340 I did I could not comprehend like how was this 00:12:23.340 --> 00:12:26.820 person rewarded when they didn't do the work 00:12:26.820 --> 00:12:29.799 like I genuinely did not comprehend that so I 00:12:29.799 --> 00:12:32.759 would work harder and then I would be criticized 00:12:32.759 --> 00:12:35.940 for being you know too disciplined and oh so 00:12:35.940 --> 00:12:38.960 and so the people are intimidated by you why 00:12:38.960 --> 00:12:42.220 intimidated I didn't mean what why are you intimidated 00:12:42.220 --> 00:12:46.799 by me Oh, you just seem angry all the time. No. 00:12:47.600 --> 00:12:50.279 If I'm angry, I guarantee you'll know when I'm 00:12:50.279 --> 00:12:53.820 angry. Yeah, right. Never. Again, group an environment 00:12:53.820 --> 00:12:56.159 where you are a professional 100 % of the time. 00:12:56.419 --> 00:13:00.519 And the military just really kind of solidified 00:13:00.519 --> 00:13:03.179 that. Oh, I'd never show. Oh, I would never disappoint 00:13:03.179 --> 00:13:07.200 my mama like that. I would never disrespect anybody 00:13:07.200 --> 00:13:14.519 at work. That's not how I operate. really difficult 00:13:14.519 --> 00:13:18.019 for me. I didn't understand why there were always, 00:13:18.019 --> 00:13:20.500 there was always feedback about my attitude. 00:13:21.679 --> 00:13:25.059 That's my attitude got, I'm killing it. Everybody's 00:13:25.059 --> 00:13:27.039 coming to my office. Hey, I just want to run 00:13:27.039 --> 00:13:29.980 something by you. Hey, I'd love your input. Hey. 00:13:31.340 --> 00:13:34.240 But then I get feedback that, Oh, you seem to 00:13:34.240 --> 00:13:37.659 have a chip on your shoulder. A chip on my shoulder. 00:13:37.759 --> 00:13:41.700 How do you know that? Yeah. Did you, did you 00:13:41.820 --> 00:13:45.759 believe that maybe the whole the time what you 00:13:45.759 --> 00:13:48.179 call it but the the angry black woman thing was 00:13:48.179 --> 00:13:53.080 was connected to you. You know what's crazy is 00:13:53.080 --> 00:13:58.100 that you heard about that a little bit at that 00:13:58.100 --> 00:14:03.220 time. But I didn't I thought it was me. I thought 00:14:03.220 --> 00:14:06.299 it was me because nobody talked about that. Yeah, 00:14:06.799 --> 00:14:08.659 nobody talked about I thought it was me and I 00:14:08.659 --> 00:14:11.860 thought I'll work even harder. So I'm already 00:14:11.860 --> 00:14:14.120 working 50 hours a week. I'll work 60 hours because 00:14:14.120 --> 00:14:17.120 I'm going to prove myself. No matter what, I'm 00:14:17.120 --> 00:14:21.059 going to prove myself. And I thought that the 00:14:21.059 --> 00:14:23.500 issue was that I just hadn't proven myself yet. 00:14:23.860 --> 00:14:26.559 Even though again, I got the CEO coming to my 00:14:26.559 --> 00:14:29.659 office after hours. Hey, I just want to get your 00:14:29.659 --> 00:14:31.720 input. I got general counsel coming in. Hey, 00:14:31.740 --> 00:14:35.039 I wanted to get your input. So wait a minute. 00:14:35.840 --> 00:14:37.440 Everybody's coming to me. They put me on all 00:14:37.440 --> 00:14:40.470 the projects. All the projects, even outside 00:14:40.470 --> 00:14:44.529 of my area. I'm on IT projects. That's weird. 00:14:44.590 --> 00:14:46.870 They keep putting me on everything, but I have 00:14:46.870 --> 00:14:50.470 a chip on my shoulder. Yeah, right. I didn't 00:14:50.470 --> 00:14:57.909 really realize how common it was for black women 00:14:57.909 --> 00:15:02.590 to be perceived as angry in a corporate environment 00:15:02.590 --> 00:15:05.789 until, oh, I would say maybe the last six years. 00:15:06.309 --> 00:15:07.850 Cause nobody talked about, we didn't talk about 00:15:07.850 --> 00:15:13.779 it. Yeah That's interesting how that that go 00:15:13.779 --> 00:15:18.580 ahead No, I'm gonna say that's interesting how 00:15:18.580 --> 00:15:21.879 like Your perception is like I'm just I just 00:15:21.879 --> 00:15:24.480 got to prove myself and I work hard hard hard 00:15:24.480 --> 00:15:27.940 and harder so that I can prove myself but in 00:15:27.940 --> 00:15:31.240 others others perception it was could have been 00:15:31.240 --> 00:15:36.940 perceived as the ABW You know, I had a VP tell 00:15:36.940 --> 00:15:40.580 me one time She was new to the organization and 00:15:40.580 --> 00:15:43.480 I had been there And she calls me cuz she was 00:15:43.480 --> 00:15:45.720 my new boss and she goes, you know what? When 00:15:45.720 --> 00:15:48.120 I first got here the rest of the team told me 00:15:48.120 --> 00:15:50.519 that you were effing know that you were an effing 00:15:50.519 --> 00:15:53.279 a know -it -all And she was like they were right. 00:15:53.460 --> 00:15:57.220 She's like you're so annoying. I Was like the 00:15:57.220 --> 00:15:59.600 way she said it. I thought surely she's not serious. 00:15:59.600 --> 00:16:03.860 Like did you just say that to me? And it's like 00:16:03.860 --> 00:16:07.000 you just called me enough. So what did I do? 00:16:07.200 --> 00:16:09.240 You know what? You're right. I do know a lot. 00:16:10.799 --> 00:16:15.559 Yeah. Yeah. Again, you're probably right. I didn't, 00:16:15.559 --> 00:16:19.659 I did not realize the dynamic. I didn't realize 00:16:19.659 --> 00:16:24.179 the social political dynamic that I was missing, 00:16:24.440 --> 00:16:29.659 that likeability factor, that not, that not overshadowing 00:16:29.659 --> 00:16:32.120 everybody else. We're in the military. That was 00:16:32.120 --> 00:16:35.039 a great thing. Like, oh, Oh, she knows how to 00:16:35.039 --> 00:16:37.039 do this. We're going to give her another promotion. 00:16:37.059 --> 00:16:39.299 We're going to put her over here. And that, you 00:16:39.299 --> 00:16:42.559 know, I'm working two levels below at the Pentagon 00:16:42.559 --> 00:16:46.120 in the basement in assignment as a 19 year old. 00:16:46.879 --> 00:16:51.340 So now I go somewhere where in my mind, oh, oh, 00:16:51.340 --> 00:16:53.000 I can do this. I can do that. I'm solving this 00:16:53.000 --> 00:16:54.860 problem. I'm solving this problem. I'm questioning 00:16:54.860 --> 00:16:58.259 CFOs. Wait a minute, Rebecca, that doesn't make 00:16:58.259 --> 00:17:04.500 sense. Would you shut your face? And again, I 00:17:04.500 --> 00:17:07.259 just got it. I'm like, these people are imbeciles. 00:17:07.259 --> 00:17:10.359 Like, how did you get this role? And I was very 00:17:10.359 --> 00:17:13.799 vocal about it. Yeah. And then, you know, I remember 00:17:13.799 --> 00:17:15.960 one senior leader pulled me aside and he was 00:17:15.960 --> 00:17:18.079 like, if you don't shut your mouth, he was like, 00:17:18.079 --> 00:17:21.180 you, you gonna get your haircut off. And I was 00:17:21.180 --> 00:17:25.079 like, yeah. Not me. It didn't matter to you? 00:17:27.400 --> 00:17:30.819 It mattered a lot. But again, remember my mindset 00:17:30.819 --> 00:17:35.450 is competition. Oh, I thrive in competition. 00:17:35.930 --> 00:17:38.849 Oh, I will win. If I don't win, I will be a close 00:17:38.849 --> 00:17:44.349 second. I will win. So I still didn't get that 00:17:44.349 --> 00:17:48.569 likeability factor. Instead of showing everyone 00:17:48.569 --> 00:17:52.250 how competent I was, I should have been spending 00:17:52.250 --> 00:17:56.490 time on working on relationship building, on 00:17:56.490 --> 00:18:00.630 that likeability factor, not outshining senior 00:18:00.630 --> 00:18:04.160 leaders in a meeting. knowing when to open my 00:18:04.160 --> 00:18:06.460 mouth, or as Kenny Rogers said, knowing when 00:18:06.460 --> 00:18:08.980 to hold them, when to fold them. Shut your mouth, 00:18:09.119 --> 00:18:12.440 Monique, because when I say something and a senior 00:18:12.440 --> 00:18:16.700 leader looks incompetent, that didn't fare well 00:18:16.700 --> 00:18:23.700 for me. But I didn't get that. I just didn't 00:18:23.700 --> 00:18:31.029 get that. Put a damper on your shine and what 00:18:31.029 --> 00:18:37.569 you actually have to offer the company So it 00:18:37.569 --> 00:18:40.549 took for me to get laid off the first time Didn't 00:18:40.549 --> 00:18:44.789 even see it coming because again fives five five 00:18:44.789 --> 00:18:47.269 five out of five five five five on performance 00:18:47.269 --> 00:18:49.930 five I'm getting this assignment in it. You got 00:18:49.930 --> 00:18:55.079 a new boss She was like, oh They hired me now. 00:18:55.079 --> 00:18:58.240 She was significantly less experienced than I 00:18:58.240 --> 00:19:01.140 was. I was like wait, what's going on here? How 00:19:01.140 --> 00:19:04.319 is she getting? How'd she get this title? Wait 00:19:04.319 --> 00:19:08.440 a minute. Well, it was Came from upon high the 00:19:08.440 --> 00:19:11.059 apparent company. But again, I'm thinking oh 00:19:11.059 --> 00:19:14.460 You're not gonna come in here outshine me. Well, 00:19:14.460 --> 00:19:19.900 yeah Came to work a child showed up. I was like 00:19:19.900 --> 00:19:21.680 wait a minute. I could feel the energy was off 00:19:22.910 --> 00:19:26.450 What's going on here? She said it's just not 00:19:26.450 --> 00:19:28.269 working and got up and walked out of the meeting. 00:19:28.390 --> 00:19:30.750 So I'm left there with the HR woman. I said, 00:19:30.829 --> 00:19:34.609 what? Wait, what do you mean what? She starts 00:19:34.609 --> 00:19:38.690 crying. This is happening to you. This is HR. 00:19:39.750 --> 00:19:43.630 We've been working together. They know me. They 00:19:43.630 --> 00:19:46.309 know me. If they wanted a question answered, 00:19:46.369 --> 00:19:52.150 who'd they come to? Me? She's crying. Security 00:19:52.150 --> 00:19:56.349 guard shows up like what what he comes in he 00:19:56.349 --> 00:19:59.769 said miss Monique who we walking out That would 00:19:59.769 --> 00:20:03.569 be me I suppose He faced his drop. He wouldn't 00:20:03.569 --> 00:20:05.670 let me touch a thing. He said I don't want you 00:20:05.670 --> 00:20:08.250 to carry everything That's how much respect they 00:20:08.250 --> 00:20:10.250 have for me because I know how to work with people. 00:20:10.269 --> 00:20:14.150 I work very well with the Union Conflict oh, 00:20:14.150 --> 00:20:16.869 that's me all day long. Let's talk about it. 00:20:16.950 --> 00:20:18.690 Now. I don't I don't give a rip about this kicking 00:20:18.690 --> 00:20:21.119 doors in and Let's get to the root of the problem. 00:20:21.220 --> 00:20:22.680 Let's talk about it. I was very good at what 00:20:22.680 --> 00:20:26.880 I did. So it took me about five years to get 00:20:26.880 --> 00:20:29.400 over that. Getting laid off. I was like laid 00:20:29.400 --> 00:20:32.319 off. Now you say it was a first layoff, so it 00:20:32.319 --> 00:20:37.380 had to be a new one, yeah? Learned the first 00:20:37.380 --> 00:20:40.119 time. Because again, it wasn't performance. It 00:20:40.119 --> 00:20:41.940 was just because things weren't working out. 00:20:42.279 --> 00:20:44.740 I did not know what that meant. I'm a perfectionist. 00:20:44.859 --> 00:20:48.480 I'm a competitor. If I lose, I need to understand 00:20:48.480 --> 00:20:52.480 why. So in my mind, I lost. It just so happened 00:20:52.480 --> 00:20:54.900 that while I was at that company, before I got 00:20:54.900 --> 00:20:57.180 laid off, I had gone to an executive training. 00:20:57.880 --> 00:21:00.460 There was a woman who spoke and she said, if 00:21:00.460 --> 00:21:03.299 you never get fired, you ain't doing it right. 00:21:03.920 --> 00:21:08.559 I was like, I would never be fired. Cause I come, 00:21:09.779 --> 00:21:14.000 I'm one of the best. Not me. I remember that 00:21:14.000 --> 00:21:17.089 when I got laid off the first time I said, there 00:21:17.089 --> 00:21:19.130 might be something to that. So that was the first 00:21:19.130 --> 00:21:24.569 time. So still hadn't learned the likeability 00:21:24.569 --> 00:21:30.470 part of it, the political part of it. So continued 00:21:30.470 --> 00:21:37.150 to operate on all cylinders, just outshining 00:21:37.150 --> 00:21:41.869 executives. Which is a natural gear for you. 00:21:42.009 --> 00:21:45.930 That's how you showed up, right? Competitive, 00:21:46.069 --> 00:21:49.140 baby. If you don't want to compete, I made other 00:21:49.140 --> 00:21:51.779 people, and now I realize it, because I've grown 00:21:51.779 --> 00:21:54.200 so much. Now I realize that I made other people 00:21:54.200 --> 00:21:57.099 uncomfortable because I pushed them too hard. 00:21:57.599 --> 00:21:58.960 If you're going to stay up with me, you want 00:21:58.960 --> 00:22:01.319 to compete with me, let's go. And people are 00:22:01.319 --> 00:22:03.440 like, oh, yeah, no, I don't like this. She's 00:22:03.440 --> 00:22:05.339 pushing too hard. She's getting too much done. 00:22:06.019 --> 00:22:07.980 You know, like the army, we do more before 9 00:22:07.980 --> 00:22:09.779 a .m. than most people do all day. That was me. 00:22:09.779 --> 00:22:12.759 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Team projects. Yeah, you still 00:22:12.759 --> 00:22:18.490 on project one. People on my team, I had people 00:22:18.490 --> 00:22:21.829 who I had the opportunity to develop. One went 00:22:21.829 --> 00:22:24.529 to Google, one went to Coca -Cola. Oh, you're 00:22:24.529 --> 00:22:27.890 on my team? Oh, you will be pressed, but you 00:22:27.890 --> 00:22:31.750 will learn so much. And they did. And that was 00:22:31.750 --> 00:22:35.549 even worse because I'm developing all these, 00:22:35.549 --> 00:22:39.329 you know, these young up and coming potentials 00:22:39.329 --> 00:22:41.950 and that bothered people. That bothered them, 00:22:42.410 --> 00:22:46.220 yeah. You so you're in the space, right? You're 00:22:46.220 --> 00:22:50.619 getting laid off. And you're like, what's wrong 00:22:50.619 --> 00:22:55.180 with me? Are you in that mentality? Yeah. Yeah. 00:22:55.660 --> 00:22:59.779 Like, what am I doing wrong? Me and at one point? 00:23:01.339 --> 00:23:03.799 It's probably the work in 70 hours a week. Because 00:23:03.799 --> 00:23:06.359 I was dealing with foreign companies that we 00:23:06.359 --> 00:23:08.160 deal with on different projects and things like 00:23:08.160 --> 00:23:10.920 that. So I had to be up. You know, when it was 00:23:10.920 --> 00:23:13.680 morning time in Japan or, you know, France or 00:23:13.680 --> 00:23:16.720 work nonstop. I'm at a kid's games. I just got 00:23:16.720 --> 00:23:18.099 to work hard. You know, that was supposed to 00:23:18.099 --> 00:23:20.700 be watching my kids play and I'm on at the time, 00:23:20.720 --> 00:23:24.640 the Blackberry. Oh man, not the Blackberry. Oh, 00:23:24.640 --> 00:23:27.980 oh, and people knew. Oh, if you send me an email, 00:23:27.980 --> 00:23:33.440 you're getting a response. Started having migraines. 00:23:33.779 --> 00:23:36.720 Some of my hair was falling out. Started having 00:23:36.720 --> 00:23:39.490 digestive issues. And I just thought, oh, geez, 00:23:39.529 --> 00:23:42.289 I'm not working hard enough. And you still think 00:23:42.289 --> 00:23:44.549 you're not working hard enough. You know, I was 00:23:44.549 --> 00:23:48.049 going to say that because I had Lynette Cottrell 00:23:48.049 --> 00:23:51.829 on yesterday, as a matter of fact, and she was 00:23:51.829 --> 00:23:55.150 talking about how black women really feel like 00:23:55.150 --> 00:23:57.730 they have to prove themselves over and over again, 00:23:57.730 --> 00:24:01.410 and it's not sustainable. And then you talk about 00:24:01.410 --> 00:24:03.730 the physical things that are happening to you 00:24:03.730 --> 00:24:06.069 and the way that you kept doing that, it just 00:24:06.069 --> 00:24:09.059 was sustainable for you. You know, I'll be real 00:24:09.059 --> 00:24:12.339 transparent. So before that first layoff when 00:24:12.339 --> 00:24:16.579 I'm working 60 70 hours Totally disregarded my 00:24:16.579 --> 00:24:19.700 kids. My kids were young my husband. There was 00:24:19.700 --> 00:24:21.460 one point where my husband told me he said mom 00:24:21.460 --> 00:24:26.240 I don't even really like you anymore What do 00:24:26.240 --> 00:24:32.059 you mean if you know my husband nicest guy ever 00:24:36.770 --> 00:24:38.670 I don't know, that's his problem. That's how 00:24:38.670 --> 00:24:40.269 bad it was, y 'all. I'm just being honest. I 00:24:40.269 --> 00:24:46.390 was like, no, just get over it. It hurt. But 00:24:46.390 --> 00:24:49.950 I was like, oh, he's just being emotional. Let 00:24:49.950 --> 00:24:55.670 me get back to this Blackberry. Yeah. Yeah. And 00:24:55.670 --> 00:24:58.950 when he said that and you're like, all right, 00:24:58.950 --> 00:25:01.049 you know what? You'll get over it. Let me get 00:25:01.049 --> 00:25:05.430 back to the Blackberry. What then got you to 00:25:05.430 --> 00:25:09.529 realize that you had to make a shift for yourself, 00:25:10.309 --> 00:25:14.589 for your sustainability? When I got laid off 00:25:14.589 --> 00:25:20.430 the second time. The light shined. Yeah, it was. 00:25:21.829 --> 00:25:24.809 I had thought for some reason, so I'm a believer, 00:25:25.670 --> 00:25:29.690 for some reason, I always found myself in extremely 00:25:29.690 --> 00:25:34.579 toxic organizations. Where I had to protect employees 00:25:34.579 --> 00:25:36.920 where I had to stand up to executive leaders 00:25:36.920 --> 00:25:40.019 and I had thought at that time that I thought 00:25:40.019 --> 00:25:43.640 oh It can't ever get any more toxic than this 00:25:43.640 --> 00:25:52.720 The last time whoa, I mean It was it was a demonic 00:25:52.720 --> 00:25:56.460 experience. It really was They had bought me 00:25:56.460 --> 00:25:59.299 in to replace this executive. She knew it. I 00:25:59.299 --> 00:26:01.980 knew it For some reason, they thought she was 00:26:01.980 --> 00:26:06.440 gonna be okay with that. She wasn't. Of course. 00:26:06.799 --> 00:26:11.500 When I tell you I have never ever been, it was 00:26:11.500 --> 00:26:14.720 like Hunger Games. She was always digging, digging, 00:26:14.880 --> 00:26:17.700 digging. If I walked down the hallway. Why do 00:26:17.700 --> 00:26:22.839 you walk so hard? What, what? So then I tried 00:26:22.839 --> 00:26:27.420 to tiptoe. I'm tiptoeing down the hallway. Why 00:26:27.420 --> 00:26:30.589 does your hair look like that? Ladies, check 00:26:30.589 --> 00:26:32.890 this out because you're going to like what I'm 00:26:32.890 --> 00:26:36.049 about to say. And fellas, let's talk about it. 00:26:36.569 --> 00:26:39.490 Energy, your energy, the kind that fuels your 00:26:39.490 --> 00:26:42.730 focus, your drive, and your confidence in every 00:26:42.730 --> 00:26:45.529 area of life. So when I started using the Ooh 00:26:45.529 --> 00:26:48.910 Shaman male potency elixir created by my brother, 00:26:49.109 --> 00:26:51.529 Celestino Corniel, I noticed something shift. 00:26:51.730 --> 00:26:55.059 My clarity sharpened. my stamina rose, my focus 00:26:55.059 --> 00:26:58.799 locked in, and whether I'm training, creating, 00:26:59.140 --> 00:27:01.740 or pulling to my purpose, I just feel alive. 00:27:01.960 --> 00:27:04.640 And here's the thing, this isn't about hype or 00:27:04.640 --> 00:27:07.539 shortcuts, it's about alignment. You know, when 00:27:07.539 --> 00:27:10.420 your body, your mind, and your spirit are connected, 00:27:11.099 --> 00:27:12.640 you move through the world differently, right? 00:27:13.079 --> 00:27:16.299 You lead differently, and you definitely love 00:27:16.299 --> 00:27:19.390 differently. So that's what this elixir was designed 00:27:19.390 --> 00:27:23.430 for to support blood flow, endurance, and presence 00:27:23.430 --> 00:27:28.930 so you can show up stronger, centered, and inflow 00:27:28.930 --> 00:27:32.380 every single day. So if you're ready to recharge 00:27:32.380 --> 00:27:34.500 your energy, restore your balance, and reclaim 00:27:34.500 --> 00:27:37.839 your power, go to ushaman .com forward slash 00:27:37.839 --> 00:27:42.259 elixir to use code THRIVEWELL for 10 % off your 00:27:42.259 --> 00:27:45.880 order. That's ushaman .com forward slash elixir. 00:27:46.180 --> 00:27:49.559 Step into your sacred strength today. The link 00:27:49.559 --> 00:27:52.220 and the code is in the show notes. Check it out. 00:27:52.619 --> 00:27:55.039 It was always something. Always something. Because 00:27:55.039 --> 00:27:57.740 I wear my hair curly, natural, in the summertime. 00:27:57.839 --> 00:27:59.400 And then in the wintertime, I would blow it straight. 00:27:59.680 --> 00:28:02.240 First time I blew it straight, she was dumbfounded. 00:28:03.819 --> 00:28:08.339 So I'm talking to my team. She comes up and starts 00:28:08.339 --> 00:28:10.019 running her fingers through my hair. I don't 00:28:10.019 --> 00:28:11.940 understand. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I already know. 00:28:11.940 --> 00:28:15.859 I already know. That's a no -no. She was in a 00:28:15.859 --> 00:28:18.359 trance. She said, how is your hair this soft? 00:28:20.799 --> 00:28:23.299 That's crazy. There are a couple females on my 00:28:23.299 --> 00:28:27.319 team, and they all were like... Yeah. Don't touch 00:28:27.319 --> 00:28:30.559 my hair. Don't go back. Don't touch my hair. 00:28:31.160 --> 00:28:37.779 Oh I mean just I Would be at meetings there was 00:28:37.779 --> 00:28:40.599 one meeting that I went to in another state when 00:28:40.599 --> 00:28:42.319 I came back She said yeah, I need to talk to 00:28:42.319 --> 00:28:46.720 you about the meeting you just had Okay, yeah, 00:28:46.740 --> 00:28:49.380 you can't you can't the attitude you had isn't 00:28:49.380 --> 00:28:53.299 acceptable What attitude? Well when you told 00:28:53.299 --> 00:28:55.099 the team that you were willing to do whatever 00:28:55.099 --> 00:29:00.640 it took to work well together And she comes as 00:29:00.640 --> 00:29:04.259 attitude when I swear I don't make any of this 00:29:04.259 --> 00:29:06.779 stuff up me you're going and even then I was 00:29:06.779 --> 00:29:11.640 like, okay I thought that was a good thing. That's 00:29:11.640 --> 00:29:13.400 what I do. I'm a collaborator. I want to collaborate. 00:29:13.599 --> 00:29:16.119 How can we work well together? Let's Talk about 00:29:16.119 --> 00:29:19.000 what the issues are. Let's get through it right 00:29:19.000 --> 00:29:24.940 so the last Star broke the camera's back her 00:29:24.940 --> 00:29:26.900 and I would go at it because I wasn't scared 00:29:26.900 --> 00:29:31.009 of her talk to the CEO Hey, you need to get you 00:29:31.009 --> 00:29:34.529 need to get her because I'm not the one Everybody 00:29:34.529 --> 00:29:38.190 everybody I Could go on and on about that. There's 00:29:38.190 --> 00:29:40.690 somebody on my team. She called him fat and sloppy 00:29:40.690 --> 00:29:42.730 He told me he would never be anything. So he 00:29:42.730 --> 00:29:44.329 comes in my office crying I go straight to her 00:29:44.329 --> 00:29:46.150 office shut the door. You don't need to talk 00:29:46.150 --> 00:29:48.970 to anybody on my team He is not fat and sloppy. 00:29:50.210 --> 00:29:54.329 Oh No, no, absolutely not. So we're sitting before 00:29:54.329 --> 00:29:56.589 the CEO, you know her that she starts crying 00:29:59.460 --> 00:30:02.400 You you've been freaking harassing me bullying 00:30:02.400 --> 00:30:08.799 me. Why are you crying? I was already familiar 00:30:08.799 --> 00:30:12.119 with the tear game. So I just sit here we go 00:30:12.119 --> 00:30:17.200 Yeah, here we go. So I mean it was tense. It 00:30:17.200 --> 00:30:19.920 was tense Everybody in the office was like, oh 00:30:19.920 --> 00:30:21.619 there they go. All right, they could hear us 00:30:21.619 --> 00:30:26.420 going at it One night late six o 'clock everybody 00:30:26.420 --> 00:30:29.059 gone Her and I just finished going at it. She 00:30:29.059 --> 00:30:32.740 follows me into my office. The way my office 00:30:32.740 --> 00:30:35.319 was set up, the desk was against the wall so 00:30:35.319 --> 00:30:38.240 I could only get in or out one way. So I go to 00:30:38.240 --> 00:30:39.900 my desk, grab my purse, turn around, she's right 00:30:39.900 --> 00:30:44.779 behind me like this. Are you mad? Are you mad? 00:30:45.339 --> 00:30:49.180 She said, are you mad? I swear. I felt a demonic 00:30:49.180 --> 00:30:53.400 like get out. I swear I don't make this up. get 00:30:53.400 --> 00:30:55.619 out it made that hair it still does makes the 00:30:55.619 --> 00:30:57.680 hair on the back of my neck stand up get out 00:30:57.680 --> 00:30:59.839 tell her whatever you need to do to get out she 00:30:59.839 --> 00:31:04.539 wanted me to hit her i said please move out of 00:31:04.539 --> 00:31:07.779 my way i need to go pick my son up from daycare 00:31:07.779 --> 00:31:09.599 this is how funny that was at the time my son 00:31:09.599 --> 00:31:13.640 wasn't even in daycare okay i said if i'm late 00:31:13.640 --> 00:31:16.119 if i'm late they're gonna charge me 50 i just 00:31:16.119 --> 00:31:18.640 felt like tell her anything tell her get out 00:31:18.640 --> 00:31:21.000 and she just looked i couldn't even see her eyes 00:31:21.000 --> 00:31:24.650 they were all black And then she turned to the 00:31:24.650 --> 00:31:40.329 side she said, okay Just so you think that she 00:31:40.329 --> 00:31:44.630 was trying to get you fired like Just trying 00:31:44.630 --> 00:31:47.349 to get me fired she was trying to get me put 00:31:47.349 --> 00:31:52.509 in jail. Yeah. Yeah She wanna get rid of you. 00:31:54.529 --> 00:31:58.089 Because I was a major threat to her within the 00:31:58.089 --> 00:32:00.150 short time I was in. Yeah, I can see that. General 00:32:00.150 --> 00:32:02.910 counsel, they're all coming to me. They should 00:32:02.910 --> 00:32:05.009 have been going to her. Hey, everybody, CEO. 00:32:06.130 --> 00:32:09.289 I walk in, the CEO's like, what's up, mom? She's 00:32:09.289 --> 00:32:15.309 standing there like, oh, oh, but guess what? 00:32:16.029 --> 00:32:18.250 Out of all the negative things that I've been 00:32:18.250 --> 00:32:21.799 through, I learned so much. So nobody can tell 00:32:21.799 --> 00:32:25.759 me, oh, it's not toxic. They just don't understand. 00:32:25.819 --> 00:32:28.339 No, no, no. I know the game. I know the game. 00:32:29.759 --> 00:32:32.940 So after that layoff, if you see pictures of 00:32:32.940 --> 00:32:35.599 me, I mean, just black under my eyes, my face 00:32:35.599 --> 00:32:43.480 was just... It was a drag for you, like going 00:32:43.480 --> 00:32:46.140 through all of that and living that life, having 00:32:46.140 --> 00:32:52.539 a family, all that stuff. Was it worth it to 00:32:52.539 --> 00:33:00.099 be where you are today? Yes. Because I had to 00:33:00.099 --> 00:33:03.559 experience it to understand it. So now I can 00:33:03.559 --> 00:33:05.839 protect other people. So now I understand when 00:33:05.839 --> 00:33:09.299 people say, in front of everybody else, this 00:33:09.299 --> 00:33:12.559 individual leader, whoever, they just love them. 00:33:12.819 --> 00:33:15.279 Then when that door closes, baby, when I tell 00:33:15.279 --> 00:33:19.099 you, I can't describe, other than demonic. Like 00:33:19.099 --> 00:33:24.299 they report up very well, you know Then they 00:33:24.299 --> 00:33:29.339 do our clothes is like that scary movie Then 00:33:29.339 --> 00:33:32.480 it's all like Donkey Kong and they are freaking 00:33:32.480 --> 00:33:36.099 bullies not even a good word for it is demonic 00:33:36.099 --> 00:33:39.099 Absolutely to my everything you do is not good 00:33:39.099 --> 00:33:40.799 enough. Well, wait a minute You can't even explain 00:33:40.799 --> 00:33:43.200 to me what you want then when I do what I think 00:33:43.200 --> 00:33:45.460 you want. It's still not good enough It's a game 00:33:45.869 --> 00:33:50.650 So I had to experience it in order to understand 00:33:50.650 --> 00:33:53.289 what it feels like and to understand all the 00:33:53.289 --> 00:33:57.250 little games that go on, the psychological warfare. 00:33:57.849 --> 00:34:01.309 It's not obvious. Good bullies aren't obvious. 00:34:01.950 --> 00:34:07.789 But I know the game. So now I believe that God 00:34:07.789 --> 00:34:13.199 is using those experiences to help me create 00:34:13.199 --> 00:34:17.079 a path for other experienced people who have 00:34:17.079 --> 00:34:21.199 not been valued or who have been kicked out just 00:34:21.199 --> 00:34:23.039 because they were better than everybody else. 00:34:23.739 --> 00:34:25.840 That's not a bad thing. That's like, I love it. 00:34:26.300 --> 00:34:29.639 I love it. I love competition in a good way. 00:34:30.000 --> 00:34:32.079 I want to be around people who are smarter than 00:34:32.079 --> 00:34:35.179 I am. Cause guess what? I'm like a sponge. I'm 00:34:35.179 --> 00:34:36.840 gonna sit in every meeting. I'm gonna listen 00:34:36.840 --> 00:34:40.960 to everything you say. Like, okay, okay. So so 00:34:40.960 --> 00:34:44.860 that's that's what I want to do is create like 00:34:44.860 --> 00:34:50.079 a a talent collective With people who have 15 00:34:50.079 --> 00:34:54.260 20 years of experience But these organizations 00:34:54.260 --> 00:34:59.019 just don't know How to use somebody like that? 00:34:59.340 --> 00:35:02.039 Yeah, they're a threat They're a threat you have 00:35:02.039 --> 00:35:03.559 these people come in and they know more than 00:35:03.559 --> 00:35:06.239 your executive folks. That's that's a problem 00:35:06.239 --> 00:35:10.429 For someone who's listening Now, what advice 00:35:10.429 --> 00:35:14.829 would you give them to really to deal with something 00:35:14.829 --> 00:35:22.030 like that? So if someone is in a toxic environment 00:35:22.030 --> 00:35:27.230 now, and you're having health issues, I understand 00:35:27.230 --> 00:35:29.190 it's easy to say, oh, just leave, find another 00:35:29.190 --> 00:35:34.090 job. But for some people, it was hard enough 00:35:34.090 --> 00:35:36.750 to get that first job, not because I don't have 00:35:36.750 --> 00:35:38.809 the experience. Because I got the experience, 00:35:38.909 --> 00:35:41.570 oh, you need a degree? Not a problem. I got three 00:35:41.570 --> 00:35:46.409 of them. Which one you want me to bring? So to 00:35:46.409 --> 00:35:49.230 say, oh, we'll just quit the job. Everybody doesn't 00:35:49.230 --> 00:35:52.449 have that luxury because everybody doesn't have 00:35:52.449 --> 00:35:57.909 access to other jobs that would be a promotional 00:35:57.909 --> 00:36:01.610 or a lateral move. I couldn't believe how hard 00:36:01.610 --> 00:36:04.829 it was for me to get jobs. I was like, I'm a 00:36:04.829 --> 00:36:08.659 veteran, law degree, MBA. undergrad. I got all 00:36:08.659 --> 00:36:11.079 this experience. I was at the Pentagon. You know 00:36:11.079 --> 00:36:14.000 what they would tell me? Oh, wow. Your background 00:36:14.000 --> 00:36:19.880 is really impressive. But. Yes, right. Right. 00:36:20.739 --> 00:36:23.079 So so I would tell someone if you're in that 00:36:23.079 --> 00:36:27.260 position and it isn't easy for you to get another 00:36:27.260 --> 00:36:30.679 job. At least start looking. You got to start 00:36:30.679 --> 00:36:33.780 putting in the legwork. You have to. It does 00:36:33.780 --> 00:36:39.420 have health ramifications. Yeah. Within the legal 00:36:39.420 --> 00:36:41.260 community, there were so many sisters that were 00:36:41.260 --> 00:36:43.780 dropping dead. I was like, I'm, who, who, who 00:36:43.780 --> 00:36:50.519 died? Really? Because you're facing all that 00:36:50.519 --> 00:36:56.920 stuff like daily. Daily. And at the time, I had 00:36:56.920 --> 00:36:59.880 just taken in my parents and I had a teenage 00:36:59.880 --> 00:37:05.099 daughter. So it was a triple threat. So, you're 00:37:05.099 --> 00:37:10.960 dealing with a lot. Yes. And the start of menopause. 00:37:11.300 --> 00:37:13.239 Yeah, okay. Yeah, I don't know anything about 00:37:13.239 --> 00:37:16.760 that, but I have a sister that was going through. 00:37:16.840 --> 00:37:18.519 I have a couple of sisters that are going through 00:37:18.519 --> 00:37:21.719 it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We've never talked about 00:37:21.719 --> 00:37:23.599 it. People don't talk about it. But guess what? 00:37:23.760 --> 00:37:26.260 That's chemical. That's those hormonal changes 00:37:26.260 --> 00:37:28.820 going on. You don't understand like what? Why 00:37:28.820 --> 00:37:31.380 do I feel like this? What? I'm not myself. We 00:37:31.380 --> 00:37:35.530 gotta talk about it. It's real. It is real. We 00:37:35.530 --> 00:37:39.110 can't just shake it off. Yeah. It's not like 00:37:39.110 --> 00:37:41.989 a jacket. Yeah, you can't just shake it off. 00:37:42.190 --> 00:37:44.710 It's not just, oh, oh, it's not that bad. Yeah, 00:37:44.710 --> 00:37:50.070 okay. Man. So you, you're going through, you 00:37:50.070 --> 00:37:53.590 have all this experience, man, and these, these 00:37:53.590 --> 00:37:56.630 hills, the climb and valleys that you went through. 00:37:57.070 --> 00:37:59.610 And I mean, you had to make a shift at some point 00:37:59.610 --> 00:38:04.280 where you kept getting laid off and I know at 00:38:04.280 --> 00:38:05.400 some point you were like, you know what? I'm 00:38:05.400 --> 00:38:07.760 done with this. I got it. Something has to shift. 00:38:08.139 --> 00:38:11.659 When that you made a shift. What was that? So 00:38:11.659 --> 00:38:14.059 actually, if I hadn't gotten laid off the second 00:38:14.059 --> 00:38:15.440 time, I still would have been trying to prove 00:38:15.440 --> 00:38:18.920 myself. How crazy is that? Right? God had to 00:38:18.920 --> 00:38:22.960 kick me out. God had to kick me out because I 00:38:22.960 --> 00:38:24.719 still would have been trying to prove myself. 00:38:25.559 --> 00:38:28.880 I ended up working with an executive coach who 00:38:28.880 --> 00:38:32.650 for whatever she just she was tough. Because 00:38:32.650 --> 00:38:35.570 I know how to do the smile and okay. Well, nothing's 00:38:35.570 --> 00:38:38.650 wrong After our first call. She said I'm surprised. 00:38:38.650 --> 00:38:42.050 I have eyebrows left. I said you assert that 00:38:42.050 --> 00:38:44.429 you probably found the perfect coach for you 00:38:44.429 --> 00:38:48.630 because who you are I? Did she said you're like 00:38:48.630 --> 00:38:51.210 a dragon? She said you just brush. She said you're 00:38:51.210 --> 00:38:54.150 so angry. She said it comes through the camera 00:38:54.150 --> 00:38:58.349 Said oh no angry. She said cut the bull. She 00:38:58.349 --> 00:39:02.480 was like you're angry and I was I was, so she 00:39:02.480 --> 00:39:05.179 really, she saved my life. I'm not even gonna, 00:39:05.780 --> 00:39:09.039 she did. She saved my life because I still would 00:39:09.039 --> 00:39:14.019 be trying to prove myself as crazy as that sounds 00:39:14.019 --> 00:39:17.360 until she helped me realize that like I'm enough. 00:39:17.900 --> 00:39:22.219 I'm more than enough. I had to let that anger 00:39:22.219 --> 00:39:24.739 go. I had to forgive those people. That doesn't 00:39:24.739 --> 00:39:27.280 mean I like them. I just had to say, you know 00:39:27.280 --> 00:39:30.960 what? I gotta let that go. I gotta let that last 00:39:30.960 --> 00:39:32.719 woman who was trying to put me in jail, I gotta 00:39:32.719 --> 00:39:35.599 let her go. Took me years, I'm not gonna lie. 00:39:36.280 --> 00:39:38.719 There were some things in my childhood, you know, 00:39:38.780 --> 00:39:41.460 that she helped me realize why, you know, I might 00:39:41.460 --> 00:39:43.719 be as spicy as I am. Had to let all that go. 00:39:44.079 --> 00:39:47.880 Let it go. Had to release. Had to release. What 00:39:47.880 --> 00:39:52.219 opened up for you when that shift happened, when 00:39:52.219 --> 00:39:55.880 the transition happened? Yeah. Yeah. I felt it. 00:39:56.079 --> 00:39:59.960 It was like a heaviness. It took time. I'm not 00:39:59.960 --> 00:40:01.920 saying it was a two -week venture. It probably 00:40:01.920 --> 00:40:05.960 took eight, nine months. I started feeling like 00:40:05.960 --> 00:40:09.239 myself again. I could think again. My husband's 00:40:09.239 --> 00:40:10.719 always telling me, Mo, you're meant to be an 00:40:10.719 --> 00:40:12.579 entrepreneur. You're meant to be an entrepreneur. 00:40:12.719 --> 00:40:14.380 I was like, nope, nope. Got to get that check 00:40:14.380 --> 00:40:17.340 every two weeks. I want to prove it. I don't 00:40:17.340 --> 00:40:20.239 care. As an entrepreneur, that's not always the 00:40:20.239 --> 00:40:23.079 case, especially in the beginning. No, it's hard. 00:40:23.179 --> 00:40:25.340 It's hard, but I didn't have a choice now. It 00:40:25.340 --> 00:40:27.320 was right at COVID. That was another thing that 00:40:27.320 --> 00:40:29.380 she did. You gonna put me out at the beginning 00:40:29.380 --> 00:40:32.840 of a pandemic? That's okay. But that's how I 00:40:32.840 --> 00:40:37.659 started consulting. Started my business. I could 00:40:37.659 --> 00:40:39.559 think clearly. Now I could work when I wanted 00:40:39.559 --> 00:40:42.059 to work. My ideas were heard. I didn't have anything 00:40:42.059 --> 00:40:44.079 to prove to anybody. I could move as fast as 00:40:44.079 --> 00:40:48.960 I wanted to. And it transformed me. I realized, 00:40:49.179 --> 00:40:54.559 oh gosh, my family, is way more important than 00:40:54.559 --> 00:40:59.500 a job. So had to rebuild some of those relationships 00:40:59.500 --> 00:41:02.079 with my kids. My daughter's in her last year 00:41:02.079 --> 00:41:04.800 of college had to, we're still rebuilding. She 00:41:04.800 --> 00:41:09.019 was like, mine, you were just so like, I said, 00:41:09.199 --> 00:41:13.059 I know, sweetie. All I can do is do better now. 00:41:15.500 --> 00:41:22.119 I try to be the best for my husband. I was about 00:41:22.119 --> 00:41:25.199 to say, does he like you again? Yeah. He was 00:41:25.199 --> 00:41:27.820 real honest. He was like, no, I like you. You're 00:41:27.820 --> 00:41:29.960 so energetic. That was another thing. My personality, 00:41:30.099 --> 00:41:33.019 I've always been very, and I got so much criticism 00:41:33.019 --> 00:41:37.719 that, yes. Well, that's not me. When I could 00:41:37.719 --> 00:41:42.300 be me, that lifted that dark, it was like a heavy, 00:41:42.360 --> 00:41:44.159 you know, those things you put on when you get 00:41:44.159 --> 00:41:46.860 into x -ray, that heavy lead, whatever it is, 00:41:47.019 --> 00:41:48.960 check. It was like, I do that. And I was like, 00:41:48.960 --> 00:41:50.719 if you don't like me, you think I'm too much. 00:41:50.800 --> 00:41:52.500 You think I'm too energetic. You think I'm a 00:41:52.500 --> 00:41:55.159 know -it -all. Guess whose problem that ain't. 00:41:55.340 --> 00:41:59.280 It ain't mine. That's yours. Right. It ain't 00:41:59.280 --> 00:42:05.480 my problem. It's not mine. Yeah. So. Yeah. Now, 00:42:05.539 --> 00:42:09.480 you made that shift. And, you know, like many 00:42:09.480 --> 00:42:11.920 people are like really searching their whole 00:42:11.920 --> 00:42:15.210 lives for the clarity. who they're called and 00:42:15.210 --> 00:42:18.909 meant to be. When you went after the executive 00:42:18.909 --> 00:42:21.750 coach, did you feel an understanding of what 00:42:21.750 --> 00:42:24.849 your calling was and what your purpose is on 00:42:24.849 --> 00:42:29.469 the planet? So that is a very deep question because 00:42:29.469 --> 00:42:34.010 I think a lot of us got distracted with thinking 00:42:34.010 --> 00:42:38.170 we had to go find our purpose. That's not spiritual. 00:42:38.889 --> 00:42:42.110 God doesn't say, go find it, figure it out. Hopefully 00:42:42.110 --> 00:42:45.559 it works out for you. Mm -hmm. That's that's 00:42:45.559 --> 00:42:47.980 not so so I I was I was trying to find my person 00:42:47.980 --> 00:42:50.800 because I'm trying to find my person No, our 00:42:50.800 --> 00:42:54.539 purpose is to be an example To demonstrate what 00:42:54.539 --> 00:42:58.679 he tells us to demonstrate to listen To pray 00:42:58.679 --> 00:43:01.920 to seek him diligently. So it took me years to 00:43:01.920 --> 00:43:03.500 get past like what is my purpose? What is my 00:43:03.500 --> 00:43:04.920 purpose? What is my purpose? What is my purpose? 00:43:05.059 --> 00:43:10.519 What? I had time during that but five, six years 00:43:10.519 --> 00:43:12.880 since the executive coach to say, okay, Mo, girl, 00:43:12.920 --> 00:43:16.679 what are you good at? What are you good at? And 00:43:16.679 --> 00:43:18.480 I figured that out. And then I wasn't ashamed 00:43:18.480 --> 00:43:21.840 about it. Yeah. If I'm a know -it -all and I 00:43:21.840 --> 00:43:23.960 walk in and I'm more experienced than everybody 00:43:23.960 --> 00:43:25.760 else in there, again, guess whose problem that 00:43:25.760 --> 00:43:31.440 ain't. So then people started recognizing that 00:43:31.440 --> 00:43:35.099 going, Hey, wait a minute. Yeah. Good. There 00:43:35.099 --> 00:43:37.280 was one potential client I had. He just, during 00:43:37.280 --> 00:43:40.269 the meeting, he looked, he goes, I thought I 00:43:40.269 --> 00:43:43.530 was good. He said, but you think of solutions 00:43:43.530 --> 00:43:46.710 out of the box, unlike anybody I've ever known. 00:43:49.289 --> 00:43:52.489 So then you start like, okay, that's my gifting. 00:43:52.789 --> 00:43:56.630 That's my gifting. I figure out, I see like the 00:43:56.630 --> 00:44:00.550 matrix. I see the confusion, but I see the organization. 00:44:00.710 --> 00:44:02.650 Like, oh, this is what we need to fix. This, 00:44:02.650 --> 00:44:04.610 this, this, this, this, this, this. Oh, here 00:44:04.610 --> 00:44:07.239 are the people who are the problem. Let's unpack 00:44:07.239 --> 00:44:10.139 that. Let's talk about that. So through that 00:44:10.139 --> 00:44:13.659 whole entrepreneurial journey that I'm still 00:44:13.659 --> 00:44:17.780 on, I've discovered more of myself as well as 00:44:17.780 --> 00:44:21.139 what I'm not good at. And that's okay. Why am 00:44:21.139 --> 00:44:23.340 I going to pursue stuff I'm not good at? It's 00:44:23.340 --> 00:44:29.380 a weakness for me. But in a space like you're 00:44:29.380 --> 00:44:34.949 more yourself than you've ever been. And how 00:44:34.949 --> 00:44:39.090 does that show up for you? I'm curious. I'll 00:44:39.090 --> 00:44:41.250 tell you what my mother told me. My mama is 83. 00:44:41.610 --> 00:44:45.070 My dad is 90. My mama said, this was a couple 00:44:45.070 --> 00:44:48.230 of years ago, she said, you're glowing. You're 00:44:48.230 --> 00:44:51.789 glowing. Your eyes are clear. She said, I haven't 00:44:51.789 --> 00:44:57.429 seen that in years. I rest when I need to rest. 00:44:57.429 --> 00:44:59.980 That was hard for me because I'm... I'm high 00:44:59.980 --> 00:45:01.500 octane. I want to be working all the time. Let's 00:45:01.500 --> 00:45:05.139 go. Let's go. Let's go. Right, right. I just, 00:45:05.139 --> 00:45:07.519 I just felt, I just felt guys saying, no, you 00:45:07.519 --> 00:45:10.480 need to rest. You need to let your body recover 00:45:10.480 --> 00:45:14.519 from what 20 years of having knives thrown at 00:45:14.519 --> 00:45:17.179 you, bombs thrown. You need to recover. It's 00:45:17.179 --> 00:45:20.380 how I force myself. Okay, rest. Meditating. That 00:45:20.380 --> 00:45:25.400 was huge for me. Meditating. Accepting who I 00:45:25.400 --> 00:45:30.599 am and loving me. Yeah. What I'm sensing is there's 00:45:30.599 --> 00:45:34.659 like no force, like forcing yourself to be or 00:45:34.659 --> 00:45:37.340 to do something that's not aligned with who you 00:45:37.340 --> 00:45:43.260 are. I think, well, so like we've already said, 00:45:43.719 --> 00:45:46.380 entrepreneurship is tough. So when you are getting 00:45:46.380 --> 00:45:49.719 that check every two weeks, and that check isn't 00:45:49.719 --> 00:45:52.239 coming every two weeks, then it's a different 00:45:52.239 --> 00:45:53.960 level of stress. And you're like, oh, should 00:45:53.960 --> 00:45:56.699 I be doing something else? But it takes time. 00:45:56.840 --> 00:45:59.559 It takes time to build up your business. And 00:45:59.559 --> 00:46:04.059 then I had to learn the sales part. Yeah, I don't 00:46:04.059 --> 00:46:08.139 like sales. I can't stand sales. I don't like 00:46:08.139 --> 00:46:11.199 it. I do not like it. But like somebody told 00:46:11.199 --> 00:46:12.860 me, if you don't sell you, who else is going 00:46:12.860 --> 00:46:17.519 to do it? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. It's a muscle 00:46:17.519 --> 00:46:19.559 just like anything else that we do in business. 00:46:20.599 --> 00:46:22.679 And you know, it's funny even with you. Like 00:46:22.679 --> 00:46:28.400 I would consider us very warm people. But I think 00:46:28.400 --> 00:46:32.699 for me, what I don't like is the, the fakeness 00:46:32.699 --> 00:46:38.659 of hi, you know, going to an event. I prefer 00:46:38.659 --> 00:46:40.820 tonight. If you sit next to me at an event, we're 00:46:40.820 --> 00:46:42.420 going to be besties by the end of the night. 00:46:42.920 --> 00:46:47.380 Yeah. Yeah. But just that fake kind of, Oh, let's 00:46:47.380 --> 00:46:50.139 exchange business cards. Okay. Great. I don't 00:46:50.139 --> 00:46:52.860 like, I don't like the fakeness of that. You 00:46:52.860 --> 00:46:55.460 know what I found? I don't like it either. Right. 00:46:55.760 --> 00:47:00.329 So. I found that when that energy comes my way, 00:47:00.630 --> 00:47:04.949 I know who it may be. I find myself either going 00:47:04.949 --> 00:47:08.710 some other way or not even having that come my 00:47:08.710 --> 00:47:11.409 way because I just, I can't deal with it. I don't 00:47:11.409 --> 00:47:15.210 deal with it well. And it does still show up 00:47:15.210 --> 00:47:17.429 from time to time, but I'm like, yeah, that's 00:47:17.429 --> 00:47:21.050 not it. Because even when I'm in the world of 00:47:21.050 --> 00:47:24.590 sales and I do sales, I want to be as genuine 00:47:24.590 --> 00:47:27.730 as possible. And I like to just be like, this 00:47:27.730 --> 00:47:32.409 is what it is. And you could be a yay or a nay. 00:47:32.750 --> 00:47:36.969 And I'm good with whatever, because I'm not beholden 00:47:36.969 --> 00:47:41.389 to the outcome. And I just want to just, like, 00:47:41.449 --> 00:47:43.269 this is what it is. And whatever the outcome 00:47:43.269 --> 00:47:47.349 is, that's what it is. And not to get too woo 00:47:47.349 --> 00:47:51.710 -woo on that, but when you're in alignment and 00:47:51.710 --> 00:47:55.500 you stop and you listen, You you'll feel that 00:47:55.500 --> 00:47:58.099 energy you feel like that this person ain't for 00:47:58.099 --> 00:48:03.079 me and you go you exit stage left and it's such 00:48:03.079 --> 00:48:05.980 a I can't even don't get me started talking about 00:48:05.980 --> 00:48:09.880 just the energies and the attraction when I myself 00:48:09.880 --> 00:48:12.820 My energy is just it'll turn off some people 00:48:12.820 --> 00:48:17.719 like oh great other people are drawn to me Tell 00:48:17.719 --> 00:48:23.940 me more those are the people And that's okay. 00:48:23.980 --> 00:48:27.900 That's not a reflection of me. And when I realized 00:48:27.900 --> 00:48:32.340 that, I was like, well, okay. I went through 00:48:32.340 --> 00:48:35.920 another, it was like a veteran cohort program. 00:48:36.559 --> 00:48:39.119 And there was a woman, she was a psychiatrist, 00:48:39.480 --> 00:48:41.539 psychologist or something. She was part of working 00:48:41.539 --> 00:48:44.719 with the veterans and things. She told me, she 00:48:44.719 --> 00:48:48.039 said, you know what the challenge is for you? 00:48:48.780 --> 00:48:51.059 Identifying who you work well with. And I was 00:48:51.059 --> 00:48:52.420 like, oh, no, I want to work with everybody. 00:48:52.500 --> 00:48:55.400 And she's like, no, no, no, no, no. She said, 00:48:55.679 --> 00:48:58.239 you need to work with people who are willing 00:48:58.239 --> 00:49:01.539 to put in the work. Because if not, you get frustrated. 00:49:02.739 --> 00:49:04.679 And she said, there's nothing wrong with that. 00:49:05.219 --> 00:49:10.059 Everybody's not for you. Yeah. It's like, who 00:49:10.059 --> 00:49:15.139 knew? But she's right. Yeah. She's right. Because 00:49:15.139 --> 00:49:17.920 I'm not, I'm not, because. Remember I said earlier, 00:49:17.920 --> 00:49:20.199 if you work with me, I'm gonna push you hard. 00:49:21.159 --> 00:49:25.360 But guess what? Months later, years later, you're 00:49:25.360 --> 00:49:27.400 gonna go, oh my God, who knew? I never thought 00:49:27.400 --> 00:49:30.440 I could be doing this. But she pushed me. She 00:49:30.440 --> 00:49:33.739 pushed me into what I was meant to do. She helped 00:49:33.739 --> 00:49:37.579 me realize my limits. Everybody doesn't want 00:49:37.579 --> 00:49:39.019 that. Other people are like, yeah, no, no, no, 00:49:39.019 --> 00:49:40.800 no, I don't wanna do the work. Yeah, yeah, that's 00:49:40.800 --> 00:49:43.679 not everybody's cup of tea. But you know, but 00:49:43.679 --> 00:49:46.230 you've... You've seen results. So like you have 00:49:46.230 --> 00:49:48.550 people that you've trained, they go off to different 00:49:48.550 --> 00:49:52.010 places, you know, well -known places that they're 00:49:52.010 --> 00:49:54.610 doing great things for themselves. Yes. Yes. 00:49:54.610 --> 00:49:56.889 And that makes me feel good. That makes me feel 00:49:56.889 --> 00:50:00.809 good. That's why I coach kids basketball. Third 00:50:00.809 --> 00:50:03.170 and fourth grade boys, seventh and eighth grade 00:50:03.170 --> 00:50:05.510 girls. I've coached for years. You know what 00:50:05.510 --> 00:50:07.989 I love? I love the kids coming in. They're just, 00:50:08.010 --> 00:50:10.010 oh, they can't dribble. They can't. By the end 00:50:10.010 --> 00:50:12.250 of the season, we had an undefeated season last 00:50:12.250 --> 00:50:16.019 season. What? What? These are boys. You know, 00:50:16.119 --> 00:50:20.699 boys are, hey, let's do this thing. If you listen 00:50:20.699 --> 00:50:24.440 to me, I promise by the end of the season, we'll 00:50:24.440 --> 00:50:26.739 be killing it. Then when they started sending 00:50:26.739 --> 00:50:29.639 results, they were like, yeah, I didn't have 00:50:29.639 --> 00:50:32.239 to yell anymore. I'd have, I'd be on that, do 00:50:32.239 --> 00:50:34.760 your thing, do your thing. And they finger rolling 00:50:34.760 --> 00:50:38.579 and I'm like, that's what I love. I love to see 00:50:38.579 --> 00:50:41.440 the progress. I love to see people putting in 00:50:41.440 --> 00:50:43.590 the work. I'm going to be with you. Every step 00:50:43.590 --> 00:50:46.849 of the way. I love the progress. But if you want 00:50:46.849 --> 00:50:51.070 to get if you want to Say you want to get in 00:50:51.070 --> 00:50:54.769 shape, but you don't want to go to the gym. I 00:50:54.769 --> 00:51:06.429 That's not my people But I'm okay with saying 00:51:06.429 --> 00:51:11.130 that now because I'm free to be honest, yeah 00:51:12.719 --> 00:51:14.980 And in that, like, could you create the space 00:51:14.980 --> 00:51:17.440 for yourself in that you attract, like you said, 00:51:17.460 --> 00:51:20.840 that you attract the people that will want to 00:51:20.840 --> 00:51:22.400 work with you and get the results that they're 00:51:22.400 --> 00:51:25.019 really looking for. And you do that in your consulting. 00:51:25.619 --> 00:51:29.659 Is it JMCO consulting? So, so I have JMCO consulting, 00:51:29.679 --> 00:51:31.880 which I do professional development training. 00:51:32.199 --> 00:51:35.079 I had contracts with 40 plus government agencies. 00:51:35.480 --> 00:51:39.260 I do conflict training, negotiations, tactical 00:51:39.260 --> 00:51:43.329 to strategic thinking. I did all that, but. January 00:51:43.329 --> 00:51:45.909 of this year, a lot of those, those federal contracts 00:51:45.909 --> 00:51:49.289 fell off, but I started another business with 00:51:49.289 --> 00:51:51.969 another veteran, which is that talent collective 00:51:51.969 --> 00:51:54.889 I was talking about. Like working with people 00:51:54.889 --> 00:51:57.769 to say, what are you really good at? Cause typically 00:51:57.769 --> 00:51:59.409 when you have 15, 20 years, you're like, I can 00:51:59.409 --> 00:52:02.650 do everything. I believe you. I believe you. 00:52:02.730 --> 00:52:04.909 But when you say that people don't know what 00:52:04.909 --> 00:52:08.070 that means. Their eyes kind of glaze over. Yeah. 00:52:08.159 --> 00:52:10.719 But what are you really good at? So I help people 00:52:10.719 --> 00:52:13.900 figure out what are you really good at? And then 00:52:13.900 --> 00:52:16.920 how do we package that? And then the next step 00:52:16.920 --> 00:52:20.340 is how can we help organizations who know they 00:52:20.340 --> 00:52:23.000 need that experience? How can we frame it in 00:52:23.000 --> 00:52:27.659 a way that it doesn't cause issues for executives 00:52:27.659 --> 00:52:30.820 who may feel intimidated? Can we come in for 00:52:30.820 --> 00:52:33.679 90 days? Tell us what the problem is. We'll fix 00:52:33.679 --> 00:52:36.000 the problem and then be on our way. That way 00:52:36.000 --> 00:52:38.670 nobody feels threatened. You know, there's no 00:52:38.670 --> 00:52:42.769 self -preservation fight going on because organizations 00:52:42.769 --> 00:52:45.730 need that experience. We just need to figure 00:52:45.730 --> 00:52:48.889 out ways that we can provide that experience 00:52:48.889 --> 00:52:51.289 without them thinking, you know, it's going, 00:52:51.409 --> 00:52:53.909 it's going to cost too much or, oh, you know, 00:52:54.050 --> 00:52:56.789 they're not energetic. I don't even know where 00:52:56.789 --> 00:53:07.030 that came from. It's 83. She's more energetic 00:53:07.030 --> 00:53:10.550 than a lot. The 30, 40 year olds that I see. 00:53:10.789 --> 00:53:11.929 So age is okay. I didn't think you were going 00:53:11.929 --> 00:53:17.849 to say that. Did I tell you? Oh, mama, 83. Cause 00:53:17.849 --> 00:53:19.469 she tells, she said, I don't want to, I don't 00:53:19.469 --> 00:53:20.929 want to be an old person just sitting on a couch. 00:53:21.030 --> 00:53:22.070 I don't want to be, I don't, I don't want to 00:53:22.070 --> 00:53:27.449 be doing it. Yeah. So, you know, all the stereotypes 00:53:27.449 --> 00:53:29.969 and it just off. Like that has nothing to do 00:53:29.969 --> 00:53:37.039 with age. personal. I mean, you know, so, so 00:53:37.039 --> 00:53:38.860 that's what we're trying to build with with Prime 00:53:38.860 --> 00:53:41.400 Bridge Solutions. It's just, again, that talent 00:53:41.400 --> 00:53:44.619 collective, helping people identify how can you 00:53:44.619 --> 00:53:48.119 hold yourself out as an expert in what? Because 00:53:48.119 --> 00:53:51.400 we should. And by that many years, yeah. So I'm 00:53:51.400 --> 00:53:54.219 working with a woman, she's the COO of a hospital 00:53:54.219 --> 00:53:57.420 organization. The conversations are amazing. 00:53:57.920 --> 00:54:00.440 What are you good at? Just a lot of things. No, 00:54:00.599 --> 00:54:05.210 tell me two things. So we worked through that. 00:54:05.429 --> 00:54:07.250 We worked through that. We worked that. We identified 00:54:07.250 --> 00:54:08.769 things that you thought you were good at, you're 00:54:08.769 --> 00:54:10.929 really not good at, or things that you hate doing. 00:54:11.570 --> 00:54:15.250 Okay, let's avoid those things. Yeah. Have another 00:54:15.250 --> 00:54:17.949 client. Okay, good. Go ahead, I'm sorry. Now 00:54:17.949 --> 00:54:19.510 I was gonna say I have another client who he 00:54:19.510 --> 00:54:21.530 would say, oh, I'm good at leadership. Then the 00:54:21.530 --> 00:54:23.630 more we talked about it, I said, you don't even 00:54:23.630 --> 00:54:29.210 like people. He's like, yeah. Oh, wait. And you're 00:54:29.210 --> 00:54:32.400 right. No judgment. No judgment at all. Cause 00:54:32.400 --> 00:54:35.519 it's okay. He says, but I feel like I have to 00:54:35.519 --> 00:54:37.780 be a good leader if I want to progress in my 00:54:37.780 --> 00:54:42.300 career. No, no man. You, you love being in the 00:54:42.300 --> 00:54:45.480 back room, you know, computer. You're not a leader 00:54:45.480 --> 00:54:49.940 and that's okay. That's okay. So, so it's been 00:54:49.940 --> 00:54:53.739 fascinating walking through the professional 00:54:53.739 --> 00:54:56.920 journeys with people and then having them realize 00:54:56.920 --> 00:54:58.940 like, you know what? I really don't like doing 00:54:58.940 --> 00:55:03.500 that. What I really do like doing this, how can 00:55:03.500 --> 00:55:09.360 I pivot? Yeah. Okay. Let's talk about that. Well, 00:55:09.579 --> 00:55:12.440 I see that first of all, niching down or niching 00:55:12.440 --> 00:55:14.460 down, however you want to say it is probably 00:55:14.460 --> 00:55:19.260 more ideal for a person because in that you're 00:55:19.260 --> 00:55:21.380 like, like you said, what you do like it, what 00:55:21.380 --> 00:55:23.699 you don't like. And if you find out what you 00:55:23.699 --> 00:55:27.559 do like there can be more fulfillment and you 00:55:27.559 --> 00:55:32.099 know, you're just your daily, just in your dailies. 00:55:32.340 --> 00:55:34.280 Like, you know, you're fulfilling yourself because 00:55:34.280 --> 00:55:37.039 it's something that you love and you're probably 00:55:37.039 --> 00:55:40.639 happier. Of course. You find people being happier. 00:55:41.500 --> 00:55:45.920 Oh, I can tell the energy shift with my client 00:55:45.920 --> 00:55:48.760 who doesn't like people. We finally started figuring 00:55:48.760 --> 00:55:51.119 out what he does like and his whole energy has 00:55:51.119 --> 00:55:53.619 shifted. I mean, I can see it. He's like, oh 00:55:53.619 --> 00:55:56.000 yeah, I want to do that. He said, what do I need 00:55:56.000 --> 00:55:58.139 to do for that? Versus when we started out, he 00:55:58.139 --> 00:56:03.530 was... Yeah, so, you know, I do this and so that's 00:56:03.530 --> 00:56:05.769 how we're developed we're developed to want to 00:56:05.769 --> 00:56:07.889 do things that we like we like it for a reason 00:56:07.889 --> 00:56:12.750 and if you're good at it even That's it. That's 00:56:12.750 --> 00:56:20.369 it. You're gonna enjoy it. Yeah Enjoyment is 00:56:20.369 --> 00:56:24.630 key. So what's it? What's the difference in managing 00:56:24.630 --> 00:56:29.360 people and leading them in your in your in your 00:56:29.360 --> 00:56:35.199 like experience. I saw this at every organization 00:56:35.199 --> 00:56:38.340 I was with because the way organizations are 00:56:38.340 --> 00:56:41.900 structured, the goal is to become a people manager 00:56:41.900 --> 00:56:45.800 for every job role. That's that's out of order 00:56:45.800 --> 00:56:50.559 because being a leader is a skill set. I have 00:56:50.559 --> 00:56:53.559 seen so many people who were awesome as an individual 00:56:53.559 --> 00:56:56.159 contributor and they get put into a leadership 00:56:56.159 --> 00:57:02.199 position. and they fail horribly. Leading people, 00:57:03.159 --> 00:57:07.699 your role is to develop those people. That takes 00:57:07.699 --> 00:57:11.960 work. That takes patience. A majority, I would 00:57:11.960 --> 00:57:15.179 say 90 % of the managers and people leaders I 00:57:15.179 --> 00:57:18.800 work with, they thought it was HR's job to develop 00:57:18.800 --> 00:57:20.579 the people. Or they thought, well, if somebody 00:57:20.579 --> 00:57:22.400 wants to be developed, they need to do it themselves. 00:57:24.940 --> 00:57:27.760 That's your role. I mean, that goes back to Jesus 00:57:27.760 --> 00:57:31.039 discipling the disciples. As a leader, you're 00:57:31.039 --> 00:57:34.599 supposed to create leaders. If you're not creating 00:57:34.599 --> 00:57:39.559 leaders, you're not doing it right. So I just 00:57:39.559 --> 00:57:41.119 think, you know, and then you hear there have 00:57:41.119 --> 00:57:44.000 been so many leadership gurus and whatnot. And, 00:57:44.199 --> 00:57:45.599 you know, you look at their background and you're 00:57:45.599 --> 00:57:49.760 like, have you ever been a leader? But come out 00:57:49.760 --> 00:57:51.619 with all of this advice and people love it. They 00:57:51.619 --> 00:57:55.619 eat it up. Just go with what, you know? Leadership 00:57:55.619 --> 00:57:59.340 advice, like, if you want to be nice, people 00:57:59.340 --> 00:58:03.159 will think you're nice. And you're like, that's 00:58:03.159 --> 00:58:09.860 your advice? So yeah, that's a whole nother skill 00:58:09.860 --> 00:58:15.079 set. Managing people is hard. It is hard. Yeah, 00:58:15.480 --> 00:58:21.199 yeah, yeah. I'd rather develop leaders. I'd rather 00:58:21.199 --> 00:58:26.840 do that. kind of bring this together. You've 00:58:26.840 --> 00:58:29.099 coached, you coach, you're still coaching sports 00:58:29.099 --> 00:58:33.219 and you're coaching and consulting adults and 00:58:33.219 --> 00:58:35.900 business. How do those two worlds come together? 00:58:36.500 --> 00:58:39.159 What do they have in common? Especially when 00:58:39.159 --> 00:58:41.699 you're building confidence in people's characters. 00:58:42.219 --> 00:58:44.860 That right there, building confidence. I'm a 00:58:44.860 --> 00:58:48.159 coach. I've always been, even as a kid, like 00:58:48.159 --> 00:58:51.519 I want to see you do better. And I mean, that 00:58:51.519 --> 00:58:54.519 translates into everything I've done. Like, again, 00:58:54.659 --> 00:58:56.460 if you're on my team, oh, we're going to be the 00:58:56.460 --> 00:59:02.039 best. I don't do bad news bears. That is not 00:59:02.039 --> 00:59:06.900 me. We might start out that way. I don't do that. 00:59:07.139 --> 00:59:10.860 But every skill that I've learned just throughout 00:59:10.860 --> 00:59:15.000 my coaching, just parenting what I've done wrong, 00:59:15.400 --> 00:59:17.739 what I've done better, being able to say I'm 00:59:17.739 --> 00:59:22.400 sorry, the way I did at the time, it wasn't the 00:59:22.400 --> 00:59:24.900 best I could have done or should have done, but 00:59:24.900 --> 00:59:27.619 I'll do better. Being able to go to my husband 00:59:27.619 --> 00:59:30.820 and say, I'm sorry, sweetie. Like I'm, I'll do 00:59:30.820 --> 00:59:36.119 better. That's all I can do is do better. So, 00:59:36.119 --> 00:59:40.019 so the coaching, the consulting, it's all motivational. 00:59:40.880 --> 00:59:42.440 You know, I got to tell people, hang in there. 00:59:42.599 --> 00:59:45.039 I'm here with you. I'm waiting for you. Even 00:59:45.039 --> 00:59:48.079 with the adult, you know, the, the, the, the 00:59:48.079 --> 00:59:51.760 one client I have that said that he Thought he 00:59:51.760 --> 00:59:53.340 was a good leader. Then he figured out he really 00:59:53.340 --> 00:59:56.679 doesn't like people. He said, stay, stay on me. 00:59:56.760 --> 00:59:58.480 Stay, stay with me. Stay with me. Cause I don't 00:59:58.480 --> 01:00:00.400 want to disappoint you. So you're not going to 01:00:00.400 --> 01:00:03.360 disappoint me. I said, you meet me halfway. I'll 01:00:03.360 --> 01:00:08.900 meet you the other halfway. Yeah. Yeah. From 01:00:08.900 --> 01:00:12.219 where you, from the beginning of our conversation 01:00:12.219 --> 01:00:15.760 of the things that you went through and to who 01:00:15.760 --> 01:00:19.280 you are now, what's the biggest lesson that you 01:00:19.280 --> 01:00:28.610 can. Give someone Just one explain how you want 01:00:28.610 --> 01:00:36.949 to explain it First is self -reflection Really 01:00:36.949 --> 01:00:41.030 self -reflection What are you doing? What has 01:00:41.030 --> 01:00:43.610 it worked? It's just all we can do is develop 01:00:43.610 --> 01:00:45.909 ourselves. All we can do is change ourselves 01:00:45.909 --> 01:00:49.369 I can't change anybody else. That's one lesson 01:00:49.559 --> 01:00:52.900 I can't change anything, but I can change myself. 01:00:53.059 --> 01:00:56.280 I can decide if I want to be mean and nasty. 01:00:56.960 --> 01:00:59.639 I can decide if I let something that someone 01:00:59.639 --> 01:01:03.099 said bother me or I accept a negative comment. 01:01:03.619 --> 01:01:05.699 That's my choice. I tell my kids that all the 01:01:05.699 --> 01:01:07.900 time. Somebody says something off the wall about 01:01:07.900 --> 01:01:10.280 you. It's your choice whether you accept it. 01:01:10.320 --> 01:01:13.380 At the end of the day, people go, oh yeah, but 01:01:13.380 --> 01:01:17.159 they made me mad. No, they didn't. They can't 01:01:17.159 --> 01:01:20.989 control you. That has been a mind blower for 01:01:20.989 --> 01:01:32.969 me. I think when you develop yourself in those 01:01:32.969 --> 01:01:35.789 spaces and you hear somebody say, well, that 01:01:35.789 --> 01:01:39.829 person made me mad. When you hear it, it's like, 01:01:39.829 --> 01:01:41.489 wait a minute, how can someone make you mad? 01:01:41.630 --> 01:01:43.710 They could probably do things that can make you 01:01:43.710 --> 01:01:47.150 mad, but the person that... owns that, that emotion 01:01:47.150 --> 01:01:50.090 is you. And you talk about emotional intelligence. 01:01:50.329 --> 01:01:52.829 What is, I know it's like a buzzword, but what 01:01:52.829 --> 01:01:55.849 is that for you and how do you connect that to 01:01:55.849 --> 01:01:59.610 your coaching and your consulting? Okay. So remember 01:01:59.610 --> 01:02:02.230 early career, I didn't realize how important 01:02:02.230 --> 01:02:04.769 likeability, all that is social, social and emotional 01:02:04.769 --> 01:02:08.030 intelligence. I didn't realize how important 01:02:08.030 --> 01:02:10.949 it was to develop relationships with people, 01:02:11.070 --> 01:02:14.699 to be seen as somebody who Others could work 01:02:14.699 --> 01:02:17.440 with I didn't realize that but now that I have 01:02:17.440 --> 01:02:19.719 realized it now. I even teach on it That's one 01:02:19.719 --> 01:02:22.900 of the courses that I just did one yesterday. 01:02:22.900 --> 01:02:25.760 That's part of the conflict resolution When you 01:02:25.760 --> 01:02:28.000 can talk to people when you're aware of self 01:02:28.000 --> 01:02:31.699 when you understand emotions are a huge part 01:02:31.699 --> 01:02:36.000 of communication I can say Michael I just think 01:02:36.000 --> 01:02:39.039 you need to do differently Versus hey Michael, 01:02:39.039 --> 01:02:41.320 I appreciate the effort you're putting in. I 01:02:41.320 --> 01:02:43.889 was thinking that maybe you Could we talk about 01:02:43.889 --> 01:02:46.989 doing something different? I said the same thing. 01:02:47.030 --> 01:02:49.269 I just said it differently. So understanding 01:02:49.269 --> 01:02:52.769 that it matters. It matters what you say, how 01:02:52.769 --> 01:02:55.650 you say it. It matters what you say to yourself. 01:02:57.650 --> 01:02:59.630 If I'm constantly saying, you're not good enough. 01:02:59.829 --> 01:03:01.050 You're not the, you're not the, oh, that was 01:03:01.050 --> 01:03:04.449 dumb. You did. What's that words worth? I think 01:03:04.449 --> 01:03:06.909 it was your mind is a garden. It's up to you 01:03:06.909 --> 01:03:09.309 whether you plant flowers or allow weeds to grow. 01:03:10.070 --> 01:03:14.610 So I constantly tell myself, oh, again, I'm very 01:03:14.610 --> 01:03:20.690 competitive. You're the best to ever do it. So 01:03:20.690 --> 01:03:24.210 what am I telling myself? What am I telling myself? 01:03:24.909 --> 01:03:27.349 I'm not valuable. You see, you can't do anything 01:03:27.349 --> 01:03:29.949 right now. Just like those negative comments 01:03:29.949 --> 01:03:32.150 come to your thoughts. That's when you write 01:03:32.150 --> 01:03:36.800 back. Nope. I'm a child of the most high. God 01:03:36.800 --> 01:03:39.280 came so that I could have life, have it in abundance 01:03:39.280 --> 01:03:42.420 to the overflow. Yeah, but ooh, that bank account 01:03:42.420 --> 01:03:44.559 getting low, doesn't matter. God's got my back. 01:03:44.780 --> 01:03:46.739 God's gonna bless me into the, you gotta talk 01:03:46.739 --> 01:03:49.780 back. It's an active thing there. You gotta talk 01:03:49.780 --> 01:03:52.280 back to those negative thoughts. You gotta input 01:03:52.280 --> 01:03:55.300 those positive thoughts. You have to, you have 01:03:55.300 --> 01:03:56.920 to do that self -reflection. What do I need to 01:03:56.920 --> 01:03:59.099 work on? You can't just say, oh, I'm just like 01:03:59.099 --> 01:04:02.460 that. Nope. No, let's talk about that. Why are 01:04:02.460 --> 01:04:04.920 you just like that? Why are you so angry? Who 01:04:04.920 --> 01:04:07.519 are you angry at? let that go what do they say 01:04:07.519 --> 01:04:11.420 uh unforgiveness is like drinking poison poison 01:04:11.420 --> 01:04:17.260 and expecting someone else to die yeah let it 01:04:17.260 --> 01:04:24.219 go right let it go let it go let it go so a lot 01:04:24.219 --> 01:04:27.719 of it is just you you are the only person that 01:04:27.719 --> 01:04:31.039 contains you and you gotta put the work in. I 01:04:31.039 --> 01:04:33.139 can't forget that part. You gotta put the work 01:04:33.139 --> 01:04:35.219 in. It's hard work. You gotta put the, it's not 01:04:35.219 --> 01:04:39.500 just gonna happen. You have to put the work in, 01:04:39.659 --> 01:04:42.440 but it's, oh god, it's worth it. It is so worth 01:04:42.440 --> 01:04:47.099 it. My relationships just, I can't, I'll get 01:04:47.099 --> 01:04:50.559 emotional. I went from not even being present 01:04:50.559 --> 01:04:53.179 mentally. I was there physically. Mentally for 01:04:53.179 --> 01:04:55.860 my kids. Now my daughter's calling me all the 01:04:55.860 --> 01:04:59.010 time. My son, you know. Feels close. I think 01:04:59.010 --> 01:05:01.570 my husband feels closer. Even my mom, my mom, 01:05:02.250 --> 01:05:04.829 you know, so much for you because now I'm at 01:05:04.829 --> 01:05:08.750 peace. I can take care of my parents. I'm here 01:05:08.750 --> 01:05:10.489 for my daughter when she needs my here for my 01:05:10.489 --> 01:05:13.230 son. I'm here for my husband. My attitude is 01:05:13.230 --> 01:05:21.329 better. Even the pets like Like I said on the 01:05:21.329 --> 01:05:23.889 couch and here come the cats they do. Yeah, you 01:05:23.889 --> 01:05:25.650 know everybody my family goes. What is it the 01:05:25.650 --> 01:05:27.780 cats love you? Because they can feel that they 01:05:27.780 --> 01:05:31.940 feel that just that love like I'm I'm I'm operating 01:05:31.940 --> 01:05:36.420 in this mode. I'm supposed to I'm supposed to 01:05:36.420 --> 01:05:38.639 how can I make a difference? How can I be an 01:05:38.639 --> 01:05:41.679 example? And I'm over here talking negative to 01:05:41.679 --> 01:05:43.840 myself. I'm mad. I'm frustrated. I'm being mean 01:05:43.840 --> 01:05:47.260 nasty to people. That's not being an example. 01:05:48.059 --> 01:05:53.179 Yeah. And that's yeah, that's your purpose to 01:05:53.179 --> 01:06:01.110 be an example. Before we leave, because I can, 01:06:01.190 --> 01:06:03.469 I have so many questions. I mean, we can continue 01:06:03.469 --> 01:06:08.269 to go on, but as we begin to wrap up, what's 01:06:08.269 --> 01:06:12.070 one thing on your heart that you want to share 01:06:12.070 --> 01:06:14.789 with people or let people know as your last words 01:06:14.789 --> 01:06:22.150 on this podcast today? You are enough. I don't 01:06:22.150 --> 01:06:25.949 care if you've been laid off. fired, can't find 01:06:25.949 --> 01:06:29.349 a job for six months, eight months a year, you're 01:06:29.349 --> 01:06:32.289 good enough. I know it's hard because that's 01:06:32.289 --> 01:06:34.510 how we pay our bills is through our jobs, but 01:06:34.510 --> 01:06:37.449 you are good enough and God has something special 01:06:37.449 --> 01:06:42.210 for you. You're worth it. You're worth it to 01:06:42.210 --> 01:06:44.690 take this time. If you've been laid off and you're 01:06:44.690 --> 01:06:47.190 frustrated, you're anxious, take this time to 01:06:47.190 --> 01:06:52.369 relax, relax, focus, pray, work on yourself. 01:06:55.000 --> 01:06:59.360 Get rest And if I can't even explain you just 01:06:59.360 --> 01:07:02.099 to start feeling better you start looking better 01:07:02.099 --> 01:07:05.280 You'll start attracting that positive one of 01:07:05.280 --> 01:07:07.119 the I just did a post recently about how when 01:07:07.119 --> 01:07:09.480 I got laid off the first time I went to the next 01:07:09.480 --> 01:07:12.960 interview and I was so angry you could just And 01:07:12.960 --> 01:07:15.320 I ended up taking over the interview I was like, 01:07:15.400 --> 01:07:17.380 well, I think what you meant to say was that 01:07:17.380 --> 01:07:19.599 so needless to say I didn't get called back years 01:07:19.599 --> 01:07:23.179 later I was like, oh my god That they could feel 01:07:23.179 --> 01:07:26.360 that negative but people can feel that It's the 01:07:26.360 --> 01:07:29.340 energy is real when you're frustrated man anxious 01:07:29.340 --> 01:07:31.780 and you go to the interview and you know people 01:07:31.780 --> 01:07:35.420 can feel that people are like, ooh Coming in 01:07:35.420 --> 01:07:39.219 here. It's okay. It's a great take the time to 01:07:39.219 --> 01:07:41.900 work on you put the work in because you deserve 01:07:41.900 --> 01:07:46.400 it you deserve it You don't keep proving yourself 01:07:46.400 --> 01:07:50.349 for for the people who find themselves and the 01:07:50.349 --> 01:07:52.030 same like oh my god that was me you feel like 01:07:52.030 --> 01:07:53.869 you have to keep you've already proven yourself 01:07:53.869 --> 01:07:58.190 you've already proven yourself you've already 01:07:58.190 --> 01:08:03.130 proven yourself yeah there you go yeah mo i appreciate 01:08:03.130 --> 01:08:06.610 you being on like this has been a good conversation 01:08:06.610 --> 01:08:11.010 really cool like like it went i never tried to 01:08:11.010 --> 01:08:12.949 dictate where the conversation goes i'll just 01:08:12.949 --> 01:08:16.090 have my questions available and then i listen 01:08:16.090 --> 01:08:19.590 and There's still so many questions I have for 01:08:19.590 --> 01:08:22.989 you. So we might have to do another one, another 01:08:22.989 --> 01:08:26.630 part to you. But before we end, I know you have 01:08:26.630 --> 01:08:29.489 your businesses. How can someone get in touch 01:08:29.489 --> 01:08:33.609 with you? So the easiest one I would say is just 01:08:33.609 --> 01:08:40.170 at my JMCO. So January, March, October, Christmas. 01:08:41.289 --> 01:08:44.710 Y 'all did that wrong, didn't I? JMCO, January, 01:08:44.710 --> 01:08:48.699 March. Christmas, October. So I'm on at January, 01:08:48.699 --> 01:08:52.180 March, Christmas, October consulting .com. So 01:08:52.180 --> 01:08:55.159 JMU JMCO consulting account. I'm on LinkedIn. 01:08:55.560 --> 01:08:58.960 You'll find me Monique Gibson. I'm on Instagram. 01:08:59.939 --> 01:09:03.539 Um, yeah. Yeah. And I'm still, I'm still developing 01:09:03.539 --> 01:09:05.279 things, you know, cause everything is just kind 01:09:05.279 --> 01:09:07.539 of changed in the job market. I'm still building, 01:09:07.779 --> 01:09:10.300 developing. And I just want to say to you that 01:09:10.300 --> 01:09:15.380 I have seen you just. comes such a long way. 01:09:15.500 --> 01:09:17.880 I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you to step 01:09:17.880 --> 01:09:21.340 out and do a podcast. You have such a warm and 01:09:21.340 --> 01:09:24.680 engaging personality and that God has something 01:09:24.680 --> 01:09:27.500 so special for you because you have a heart for 01:09:27.500 --> 01:09:30.340 people. So I'm just again, I'm just honored that 01:09:30.340 --> 01:09:34.479 you asked me to be on and I just, I love to see 01:09:34.479 --> 01:09:37.760 you thrive. I love it. I love it. Cause I know 01:09:37.760 --> 01:09:42.159 what you've been through. So I don't want to 01:09:42.159 --> 01:09:44.720 get emotional, but Don't get emotional because 01:09:44.720 --> 01:09:47.800 you can get emotional. I'm like, I know what 01:09:47.800 --> 01:09:51.079 I am. I'm so proud of you. I really I'm so. Thank 01:09:51.079 --> 01:09:54.880 you. I appreciate you for the words and just 01:09:54.880 --> 01:09:58.159 who you are in the life in the world and in my 01:09:58.159 --> 01:10:01.180 life. And I appreciate you for being on here 01:10:01.180 --> 01:10:03.359 and just being authentic and sharing yourself. 01:10:04.140 --> 01:10:07.260 And at this time, we always ask our audience, 01:10:07.260 --> 01:10:10.020 you know, one last question is Based on this 01:10:10.020 --> 01:10:12.880 conversation, what's one leadership lesson you've 01:10:12.880 --> 01:10:16.060 learned in your own journey or what area in your 01:10:16.060 --> 01:10:19.600 life you're ready to grow? And again, Monique, 01:10:19.600 --> 01:10:21.539 thank you for being on the podcast. And as we 01:10:21.539 --> 01:10:25.039 always say, let's make thriving our new normal. 01:10:25.359 --> 01:10:27.220 And I'll see you next week. Thank you.