Hey, family, L. Michael here. You know, every
so often, life gives you a wake -up call, one
that makes you stop and really look at yourself.
There's a moment when you realize the applause
you've been chasing was never designed to make
you feel whole. So we stack achievements like
armor, right? The wins, titles, followers, likes,
believing they'll protect us from the feeling
of not enough. But then life holds up a mirror.
And what you see staring back at you isn't your
resume or titles. It's your soul asking, who
am I without all this noise? So Cristiano Cola
looked into that mirror, and instead of running,
he listened. He walked away from the identity
that wants to find him and stepped into something
raw, something real. Now, this isn't a conversation
about perfection. It's a conversation about breaking
the illusion, letting go of who you thought you
had to be, and discovering the truth you can
finally live with. Now here's a glimpse of what
he discovered. I was going to say you say restrictive
for your spiritual growth. What did that look
like? Well, I was middle 2024. I was struggling.
I was struggling emotionally. Yeah, I felt restricted,
and I was not myself. I was falling back into
old ways of thinking. And I was doing therapy.
and it didn't work for me because I would talk
about stuff but I wouldn't actually have the
time to process. So I eventually looked into
psychedelics and specifically ayahuasca because
after research I had a feeling that's what I
needed to get to the core of my traumas, to get
to the core of what I was struggling with. So
if you're a person who experiences lucid dreams,
vivid dreams, I feel that those are powerful
insights to be taken care of when we are awake
again the next day. At least to give ourselves
the time to reflect on those experiences. Sometimes
it takes losing everything we thought made us
whole to discover what really matters. Cristiano
Cola's journey is one of courage, surrender,
and truth. From chasing physical perfection to
being cracked open in the jungles of Peru, he
learned that healing doesn't come from performance,
it comes from presence. In this conversation,
we explore what happens when you stop chasing
validation and start remembering who you really
are. This is why I stopped chasing validation
with Cristiano Cola. We are here in Cristian
Cola. I want to invite you and welcome you to
the Thrago journey. How are you doing? I'm doing
well. Thank you so much for having me. It's a
pleasure. Yes, we've been trying to do this for
some time now and we're here and And I'm excited
to have a conversation with you because you are
a new generation kind of guy. You've taken up
your life, really, and changed it around to really
fit your soul and your spirit. And I admire that.
A lot of people want to do that, but they don't,
and you did. And before we get into the conversation,
I typically ask, intrinsic kind of question.
And I know you started this journey some time
ago. So what's the most important truth that
you live by today that you didn't fully understand
about your life five years ago? I would say to
show up in life authentically at least trying
to do my best not to compromise myself and the
longings of my soul for someone else's Um, satisfaction,
um, it's probably something I, I didn't fully
understand five years ago, but now I'm, I think
I'm embodying, um, or at least I am on my path
to, to become that person. You use the word embodying
and that's a, that's a really powerful word and
we'll get back to that. But I want to just kind
of build up to who you are today and you're.
Your home country is Italy, but are you still
in Australia right now? No, I'm back in Italy.
So I came back this year. So I lived in Australia
from 2018 to January, 2025. So almost seven years.
Okay. Now you, you were in health, you were a
semi -pro football player and you were a fitness
coach, right? Talk about that life. um and who
you were in that in that period of your life
well i i grew up around football so i i was football
from the age of five to to 24 that's all i knew
my my whole identity was built around football
so i consider myself a football player even before
a human being sometimes uh or perhaps that was
the culture at least uh the home i grew up in
Um, and it was, it was tough for me to, to relate
to people, um, to relate to human beings, you
know, under different context or circumstances.
So, um, I would be really shy away from the football
environment. So I was a completely different
person from, from playing, from being on the
pitch, um, or being outside of it. And this dynamic
of playing. later in my life when I delved into
personal training in the fitness industry. And
being around fitness, professional sports from
a young age, it definitely shaped how I interact
with people, how I show up in life. At some point
it took a toll on me because I didn't know who
I was away from that. So I would struggle, you
know, romantic context or on a personal level,
professional level as well. And I didn't fully
understand who I was and I was in a way judging
myself for the lack of experiences I had away
from the professional environment. And that made
me feel sometimes behind. So I compare myself
to people that I perceived them I had in life
and I felt behind. So in a way, it showed me
a part of myself, my potential in a way, but
in another way, it took away from me as well.
Yeah. As you were sharing that, I remember my
years as well. For people that are listening
and watching, when we talk about football, we're
talking about American soccer. Just so that we
bring context to folk. But I ran track and field
for college and somewhat going to training myself
to go to the Olympics and I do remember when
you said that like I my identity was wrapped
up in in my sport and outside of that like I
didn't really know who I was either and then
when I lost that or I wasn't competing anymore
I too had an identity crisis but I didn't even
know there was it was a crisis or an issue. I
just didn't know who I was outside of what I
did for 20 years, you know, that was my identity.
And for you, that was your identity, but things
shifted for you. When did things shift for you
outside of the norm that you had for yourself?
Yeah, great question. When I decided to emigrate
to Australia in 2018, that was the first conscious
shift I made. It was in a way an act of rebellion
against my own self because I was so soaked in
this identity of football player that I didn't
want that anymore. I wanted to travel the world.
I wanted to experience other cultures. I wanted
to see what was out there for me to explore other
gifted part of myself, not just football. When
I started to travel, that was the first time
I opened up to the flow of life, to the opportunities
of life away from football. Meeting new people
on a daily base and learning their story and
sharing things. Being in another country itself,
you know, away from my Italian background. And
I made a conscious decision not to get myself
back. to football whenever I feel discomfort,
whenever I needed that safe place to go, I made
a conscious decision not to go back to football
because I knew that if I did, I was going to
deny all those things that I just mentioned to
myself and the opportunities to evolve as a human
being. what that was for you, because a lot of
people fall into the trap when you're in the
world of the unknown. It's like, I get to get
back to what's comfortable because I know that
world, right? So I'm now in the world of unknown,
what do I do? And you brought the world out,
the word evolve. And so you were comfortable
in evolving, you're comfortable with being uncomfortable,
right? Is that would it be a fact? Yeah, that's
facts. Well, it wasn't easy all the time. But
yeah, I just made sure to remind myself that
was just temporary and that I took a decision
for a reason. And it was a constant reminder
not to go back to, as you said, what felt comfortable
and keep pushing into the unknown and trusting
and surrendering to the... to all the gifts of
the universe, to the unlimited possibilities
that were waiting for me. And that's what I did.
But it wasn't easy. No, it's never easy. But
I think that's what challenges us in evolving
is that when we are uncomfortable and okay with
being uncomfortable, there's a shift that happens.
And with you, there was a shift that that I assume
that happened with you. And in that world of
the unknown and being uncomfortable, what was
like the thing that showed up for you and said,
this is what I want for the duration of my life?
I don't think I fully get the question. So in
your evolution, being in the world of the unknown,
being uncomfortable, What was that thing that
kept you saying, I'm going to continue to evolve
and not go back to what's comfortable? Um, I
think trusting, trusting my ability to, to expand
and not to, not to retreat again and again and
again, uh, whether it was physically, emotionally,
spiritually, mentally, As soon as I started to
travel, I have discovered a connection with the
universe. I like to call it the universe, like
some people call it God. So I trusted that as
a sort of, you know, silent guidance. So that
was... It is hard to explain. It's like when
you know you're on the right path and you don't
question it, regardless of whether you are experiencing
comfort or emotional pain or physical pain in
some way. So I trusted that anything that came
up for me, it was the right thing I needed at
that time. and that I wasn't going to be in that
state forever. Courage as well, so having the
courage to back yourself up and not only relying
on, for example, family or friendships to gain
a sense of self. Probably courage was the the
thing that kept me from going back and you know
push me towards evolution. Yeah and there's a
I would I would what I'm hearing as well is that
there's a a world of self -discovery that you
wanted to find out for your like who you were
in this new space. Yes because within the football
context even even when I was at school for example
People they used to compliment me for my football
skills and never never because of my You know
human personality traits not because of my kindness
or anything else. It was all about Oh, you scored
a great goal. Oh, you played well Yeah, you know
and and I was relating to people that way. So
like I was you know, you know getting a sense
of validation in a way And again, as I said before,
I wanted to rebel against that because I wanted
to prove myself that I was more than that. And
then I didn't want people to see me just as a
football player. I wanted people to see me as
a whole human being because I was struggling
to see them as whole human being at first. And
that was painful for me in the beginning. And
I didn't want to live my life like that. Yeah.
Hence I made the decision to step away. Ladies
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away. to step away. And the reason I ask that
because we talk to a lot of people, entrepreneurs
and things like that. And so sometimes we get
stuck in this way of being because people give
us praise for, I don't know, building a company
or whatever it may be. But that's what our identity
is. And so when there's a shift that needs to
happen, people will be scared to get away from
that, even though there's a calling for them
to get away from that. But they're still stuck
in this identity because of the praise and people
like you, you made a shift, right? You make the
shift and you went on a journey. And what was
the next journey for you? What was that? After
I began to travel, you mean? Yes. Well, I started
to study within the sports and fitness context.
And I eventually found I started to work as a
personal trainer as a sole trader at first. But
then I quickly realized that without any background
with business or anything like that, marketing,
it was really hard. So I joined a private studio
and I worked there as a coach for four years.
So I was training people to compete in bodybuildings
or like doing fitness photo shoots, you know,
body composition, everything around that. So
that was my next journey, which helped me complement
my sports background and my interest with psychology
and coaching because I used to study psychology
in high school too. So that felt like a you know,
a complementation of my of my skills from my
background. And I really enjoyed doing that doing
that job and dealing with people on a daily base
and, you know, taking them from A to B and seeing
them evolve themselves with my with my presence.
And it was really a fulfilling and satisfying
job. Yeah. But eventually I got to a point that
even that became restrictive for my spiritual
growth. I was going to say you say restrictive
for your spiritual growth. What did that look
like? Well, I was middle 2024, I was struggling
emotionally to open up. So after that initial
period of transitioning, from my traveling into,
you know, settling into a city and actually starting
a job and creating my network of people. Then
eventually I got to a point that even that. Yeah,
I felt restricted and I was I was not myself.
I was falling back into old ways of thinking
and I was doing therapy and it didn't work for
me because I would talk about stuff, but I wouldn't.
actually have the time to process. And it was
just words and words. It was just talking. So
I eventually looked into psychedelics and specifically
ayahuasca because I, after researches, I had
a feeling that's what I needed to get to the
core of my traumas, to get to the core of what
I was struggling with. And therapy wasn't doing
it for me anymore. So I made a decision to go
to South America and work with shamans and work
with with the medicine they call it the medicine
and and after that I came back and that's why
my my life and my job as a personal trainer fat
restricted because Being in a gym all day With
the music loud with people slamming weights right
and left. There's a big ego sometimes going around
at the gym. Maybe you know that. So I didn't
want to be part of that while I was transforming,
while I was shifting again towards a more grounded
and authentic life. Yeah, so you're you're still
personally coaching was there something a situation
or something because typically when we go on
a journey like that and not that I have yet But
typically when people go on a journey like that,
I'll ask I was gonna have a really good friend
Who's done that who's actually been on the podcast
and he did that some time ago another person
who was on the podcast Susanna Stokes She went
on that journey as well. And there's always something
that that it was like It was a not necessarily
a trigger moment, but I'm just going to use that
as a trigger moment that sent them on this journey,
much like you, that led them to the Ayahuasca
area. I don't know. What was that trigger moment
for you or a moment for you? I don't know if
it was a trigger, but just a moment for you that
led you to get to the journey to the Ayahuasca.
Well, yeah, there's, there's, there are many
triggers, but I would say the most profound one
is I had this feeling of brokenness, broken,
brokenness. I felt there was something deep inside
me that something was wrong. And I couldn't figure
out what it was, but then I actually understood
that there's nothing wrong. Um, and again, I
was identifying myself with this feeling of brokenness.
especially within a romantic context. So I was
with a woman for two years and this woman really
supported me in my growth. But it was really
triggering as everything that makes you grow,
it triggers you like the deepest part of yourself.
So shifting from this mindset of victimhood to
to empowerment and taking ownership of my story,
of my traumas, and not making somebody else,
which is what I was doing within the romantic
context. I was projecting my stuff onto her,
regardless of how patient she was. So that was
the biggest trigger for me. So you had that trigger.
You went to the ayahuasca. asking these questions
out of curiosity, right? Me and Yvonne, we think
it's, we think it's a cool thing. But we haven't
done it. And we're talking about you. I said,
we might need to have, we might need to take
a trip to the Peruvian jungle. You know what
I mean? To find that, you know, to get some clarity
for ourselves. But you went down there. And there's
a, when I was reading, you have the saying that
ayahuasca, well, first of all, for those, most
people pretty much know what ayahuasca is. But
just for the people that don't know, what is
ayahuasca? Ayahuasca is a plant native from South
America, from region like Peru, Brazil, Ecuador,
and Colombia. It is a combination of two plants,
actually. So the ayahuasca vine, and the chakruna
bushes, which are leaves and they are combined
together boiled into hot water for a amount of
hours and what comes out is a sticky reddish
liquid that it gets given to the participants
in the ceremonial space. So we got to drink it
and it contains DMT, which is a psychedelic substance.
Dino -methyls try something. Triathlon or something.
I remember, I know the word, the letters DMT.
Um, I did a little study on that some years ago.
Um, and you, you got into that space of ayahuasca.
You took ayahuasca and I've seen just that it's
an enlightenment space for people or a moment
for people. What did ayahuasca do for you? Because
you mean, first of all, you're on this journey,
trying to figure out your identity and and really
knowing that you're going through this transformation
and now you find yourself in the space of ayahuasca
and you've taken that and there's what's now
happening for you. Ayahuasca allowed me to, it
stripped away most of my illusions but even to
this day with integration it's a constant It's
a constant process, constant evolution. So it's
not because I went that my life changed. It's
because of my willingness to integrate the experience
afterwards that my life is changing how I want
to. So I would say Ayahuasca allow me to destroy
the armor that I've built. and the character
I've built for so many years, it destroyed that.
And it left me vulnerable with my creative self.
And that's the life I want to live. That's the
life I've decided to live. A life of creation,
not a life of victimhood. Life of creation. Do
you feel like that... You've gotten to the core
of who you are authentically I Am getting glimpses
of it. Yes, it is hard to say if I if I got to
the real core, but I'm I'm getting close Just
by the small decision I'm making daily And what
what comes you know the consequences of those
little decision I can realize that I am constantly
deciding to live that life, which is promising.
Now, what's different for you now? Who are you
now versus who you were then? What's the distinct
difference that you can feel and tell within
yourself that going on this journey, taking the
ayahuasca and now being here that you can see.
I am definitely a more humbly but empowered being.
I feel responsible for my decisions, for my life.
Not that I didn't before, but now I am closer
to the truth. Before I did it because I was,
you know, acting on sometimes intuition on impulses
at times that led me somewhere. Yeah. But this
time I am more conscious and I have a more, more
intimate relations with my intuition. So that's,
that's the being I was before reactive being.
Out of control and now I am responsive to life.
I'm not reacting to life Which is a massive shift
Yeah It's like before I had external stimulus
and I would just instantly react like it was
an animal for example Now I have the external
stimulus and I like take my time to pause and
decide what I want to do with that stimulus Um,
in all the areas of my life, whether it's relating
to human beings in an interaction, whether it's
in the romantic context, whether it's in, uh,
you know, sports and training. Um, that was,
that was a, the most significant shift I, I had.
Is there a community with you now of people that
have shifted their lives in the way that you
did? No. The people that I've done the experience
with, because I wasn't alone, it was 25 of us,
people I didn't know, that still to this day,
with some of them, we keep in touch. And some
of them, they are on my same path. And that's
why what we talk, we can relate to each other.
But I find it really hard to... to speak about
my experience with family and friends because
they haven't done it. And when you get to work
with such a powerful plant like ayahuasca, it
is a delicate topic to talk about people that
they haven't done it. Yeah, I ask that question
because I know that there are people that may
want to do it. They listen to this podcast and
it may empower them to do it. Um, but they don't
have the community because it is, it is kind
of a controversial kind of thing. Um, I don't
think it should be, but you know, that's kind
of what society has created to be in a way. But
you, you are now calling yourself a truth receiver,
not a truth seeker. Am I right? Yeah. What's
the difference in the shift in your mindset to
say, you know what, I was seeking truth at some
point, but now I'm receiving. The way I see it
is it feels my responsibility now not to seek
the truth externally to me. Again, it puts me
in a survival mode in a way. But when I made
the shift of calling myself a receiver of truth,
It was because I felt an opening in my heart,
in my expression, and truth always arises within.
It's not outside of us. So if I stay open, and
if I keep myself abundant to the treasures of
my own soul, and explore those gifts with small
steps, then I know that's the truth because I'm
acting on an intrinsic motivation, like you've
mentioned intrinsic before. It comes straight
from the source, which is me. It doesn't come
from something else. So I'm not a seeker anymore
for that reason. And if I... If I have the willingness
and the courage to observe my inner landscapes,
that's what the truth come from. So it doesn't
come from your parents. It doesn't come from
your best friends. Whatever they say, it doesn't
matter in a way. What matters is what's inside
you, what you want to do, like the longings of
your soul. And I feel I must listen to those
So there's a big difference that I mean that
I'm hearing When before your journey it was like
there was this outside praise outside Ambition
the things that that you saw on the outside was
something that you were going after but now what
you're realizing Is that everything that that
is fulfilling to you? Comes from within Yes,
so what would you say to someone? That is Seeking
and searching for wealth and all these kind of
things that's on the outside Which is to have
that it's fine, but it's really all the things
that are coming from you That you're really I
don't know Causing and creating for your life
to be Yeah that it takes courage and that it
takes the willingness to observe the little things.
And what helped me the most, it was reflecting
or like meditating on the meaning of death. So
when I started to reflect on death, there was
another shifting moment for me because I realized
I wasn't going to live somebody else's life or
I wasn't going to live on somebody else's approval.
Even if I loved them, it still didn't matter
because I was the one living my life. So meditating
on the on the brevity of life, meditating on
what do I really want to do? If nobody else was
around me, like would I still do, would I still
do it or would I, would I do it because somebody
else is, is giving me thumbs up or he's telling
me, yeah, you're doing great. Would I still do
it if somebody, if nobody was there to, to applaud
me or to cheer me on. Um, so it was asking myself
those questions, um, that, that shifted the whole
thing. You know You said that you started to
take a new view on death. What's that view now?
I I reflect on death a lot because There's a
direct connection between life and death. So
for example when we go to sleep Yeah, when we
go to sleep at night and we wake up the next
day and we experience dreams and You know experiences
in in the subconscious then The part of like
also actually leaves the body and we we come
back to the body in the morning So that's also
a death in itself But we don't call it that we
call it sleep at least that that's what I experienced
in my sleep I'm not saying that everybody else
needs to experience that but that's that's how
I feel when I When I go to sleep and when I when
I wake up in the morning, we have that choice
every day and it's not going to be anything different
when we die from our physical body. So with death
comes the switch from risk -taking to following
the longings of my soul. So the first time I
left Italy to go to Australia, For me, it was
a risk because I left a career in a semi -professional
football career and a job and the comfort of
my family life, my friends. So I perceived it
as a risk. But when I did it again, early this
year, coming back to Italy and quitting my job
as a personal trainer, which was going to lead
me to become an Australian citizen, I quit that
because it felt restrictive as I felt before,
as I said before. It didn't feel like a risk
at all. Because after the experience, I learned
how to trust the call, the intuition, the God
guidance, whatever we want to call it. And because
I'm trusting that I know it's not a risk. It
is not a risk. It is just me. following my own
path. And that to me links with with with the
brevity of that to actually live my life as I
want to live my life. Yeah. Yeah, I love that.
And I want to ask you about Okay, so I'm gonna
go a little deeper with what you just said. Like,
so this is in your view, I don't know about the
science of it at all. When we go to sleep, you
you say that we are so souls leave the body and
it's our choice to wake back up. Yeah, yes. Talk
about that a little bit because that in that
I what I'm hearing is the word that shows up
is transcendental. I don't know too much about
it. So I can't really speak on it too too much.
But I'm interested to hear what you have to say
about that because in many of the quantum physics
or transcendental or some of the laws of the
universe. Like that's where our life is developed
in that space when we're asleep. And so when
we wake up to this reality, it's the reality
that we created from the subconscious and whatever
in that space. So that's the real world. And
then we wake up and then we're here in the matrix,
so to speak, and this is what we're, that's where
we are, but we can always change that. So I just,
I want to get your, your, your insight on that.
I think there's a, there's lots of taboo around
dreams and they, you know, they just appearances
in our minds, but I don't believe that. I think,
I think our waking life is as important and as
our, you know, dreaming mind. And there is no,
there is no separation between the two. And,
uh, as I said before, when I go to sleep and
I make my, my prayer before I go to sleep or
whatever, it's your routine, then that's an intention
to, to experience something in a way why you
sleep. And that intention must be carried forward
onto the next day. So if you're a person who
experiences dreams like lucid dreams, vivid dreams,
I feel that those are powerful insights to be
taken care of when we are awake again the next
day, at least to give ourselves the time to reflect
on those experiences. Because they are not just
fleeting experiences. They are there for a reason.
Whether it's your subconscious speaking to you,
whether you are dreaming of people, whether you're
dreaming of perfect scenarios. So I think a dream
is an accurate representation of where we are
on our spiritual journey to enlightenment. And
I take that very seriously. And I've learned
how to tune in with my dreams and to let them
guide my waking life and to do my best to, you
know, in a way, interpretate them, but not so
obsessively that they take me away from the reality
of waking life. So I like to call that spiritual
homeostasis, which is spiritual homeostasis,
which is the liminal space in between being awake
and dreaming. So that's my view on that. I mean,
you were working in things and so you can apply
this to... um entrepreneurs and business people
how how how would they apply that to their lives
and their situations as being like a a business
owner as in like practical practical tools to
anyone yeah i can't say right now practical tool
yes in regards to the dreams you mean yes like
i mean in this Like we're talking about some
spiritual things, you know, your spiritual self
and your spiritual self really guides you to
who you are in the real world. And so in the
real world, these it could be a practical practical
tool that can guide you as an individual in different
decisions and choices that you need to make.
Right. Yeah. And so that's that's kind of where
I'm leading to. Yeah. Well, I've started to experience
in my sleep, especially after my ayahuasca experience,
so I can only speak about that time frame, which
is more than half an year. But especially in
this phase of my life, which I think it's the
starting of my... I'm stepping into entrepreneurship.
or business like I've never done before. I've,
you know, again, I've worked as a coach before,
but I was working for somebody else. So I didn't
have fully control over the decisions I would
make. But now that I stepped away from that and
I'm by myself, dreams are helping me to reveal
some shadow parts of myself in regards to business,
in regards to money, and the perception I had,
especially around those two aspects of the human
life. And they are allowing me to have little
breakthroughs in my journey to I don't know if
I want to become a, you know, a entrepreneur
or, you know, a millionaire. Probably not. That's
not my interest at this stage. But at least I'm
exploring those lacking aspects of my life, which
have long kept me stuck in the past. And I think
are leading me to a potential that I haven't
yet explored, but that I know it's there. So
I can give you example of my own experiences,
for example, dreaming about receiving money or
finding money, you know, underneath bushes, or
people giving me money, you know, huge amounts
or seeing a, what's it called? A safe, a big
safe in a bank. And then I just think about those
dreams. I try to attribute to those dreams my
personal interpretation based on all the details
around those experiences too. And I am understanding
that those dreams are leading me to build something
for myself, which I'm slowly starting to do in
the spiritual context, in the, you know, even
fitness context in a way. So they are all implementing
all my past skills with the skills I'm learning
now more in the business and money -making context.
Yeah. What I'm also hearing in this part is that
you are really leading a life that you're creating
and designing that is in harmony with who you
see yourself being in this very moment. Yes,
which is accurate. Yeah, that's that's really
accurate. Yeah, you you you read my unspoken
words really well I think that's amazing because
I would have I would assert that Living this
life right now is fulfilling. I mean probably
there's parts that Are maybe are not working
as well as you want them to much like everybody
else in the world, but I would assert that this
is a very fulfilling space and time in your life
for you right now. Because it keeps me curious.
And I've definitely, you know, thought about
ammonium business before. Even four or five years
ago, I had clients telling me, oh, you should
open a gym and all that. And I was like, I don't
want to. I don't want to think about all the
bureaucracy going around behind the scene. I'm
happy working for someone. You know, getting
paid by the hour and I'm happy like that. But
now even thinking about myself speaking that
way, it makes me feel like who was that guy speaking?
That was not me. But now because I'm present
with my life and I am again following where my
soul is taking me, even though it is carrying
some time. It's allowing me to tap in with what's
present now without worrying too much about my
past or even the future. Of course, it is good
to have plans and ideas of what someone wants
to do in the future and building towards it.
But if that takes away from the present moment,
then I don't believe that's what manifestation
is. What's present for you right now What's present
for me right now Expression So Doing my best
to express myself Whether I like it or not express
my whole self as I am and being honest towards
myself Yeah, and Yeah building something that
it's exciting for me. And that, you know, pushes
me to explore and evolve and create for the sake
of it. For the sake of pure creation and not
and not because of validation anymore. Pure creation
just for the creation sake. and not validation.
There's a lot to be said just with that right
there. There's a lot to be said. We can talk
about it. That is a lot to be said. So let's
talk about it. In this space right now, you're
just saying that in your life right now, you're
just being creative. And actually, I want to
talk about that. But you don't need validation.
What, what is that for you now? They like that
you don't have that, that you don't need validation.
I don't need validation because it is. Well,
it can be a, it can be a bonus. I'm not saying
that validation is there's something wrong with
it. You know, if, if you do something because
it's pure and innocence and you've created that.
you can decide whether to keep it for yourself
or to share it with the world. Whether it's through
a post on Instagram or a poem, for example, whether
it's an article, whether it's thoughts, emotions.
So those are two options. Either you keep it
for yourself for the fulfillment of your own
self, or either you share it With somebody else,
but if you share with somebody else. You need
to be aware that people might validate you for
that or people might destroy you for that. And
that's none of your problems. That's none of
your problems. You can't control what people.
What people's reaction. So, if you share it,
if you decide to share it. And take and you can
take the consequences of that. whether it's the
positive or the negative brackets, then you know
that you've done that for the sake of sharing
it with your unconditional self, with love, and
you're not influenced by anybody else's. And
that's the way I see it. So there are multiple,
for example, thoughts and Philosophic ideas that
I I keep for myself my diary and that I would
love to share with people But that I know that
if I do Maybe certain things are not ready for
for people's reaction because it can take away
Can take away my power in a way if I'm not careful.
Yeah, and that's the same thing what you share
with people. I'll give you an example. When I
came back from my ayahuasca experience, it was
a delicate and sensitive time of my life. So
I decided not to talk with anybody within my
family or friendship context, because I knew
that they couldn't relate. But not because I
was superior to them, not at all, because they
didn't experience that. So their reaction in
my sensitive state It was going to take away
my power, the power I had. You know, I was desperate
to regain for myself and it's the same thing
with, um, with the sake of creation and, and
valid external validation. Yeah. Well, we're
in the world of creators, especially with all
of this stuff. Right. And so I think that's something
to be said that we do this for X, Y, and Z reasons,
but not to be validated. Um, Because, you know,
if that's the, the reason why that's the purpose,
then, you know, your heart will be broken all
day, every day, you know, and it really will
play with someone's psyche, if they're not validated
out of their creation. And it may just, you know,
like you said, it may it may break you. Yeah.
And I think it comes in place also, the money
aspect here, because sometimes when you create
and you put a price on it, for example, it becomes
an interesting dynamic. Then you start to create
because you know you're going to get the value
out of it. Then you start to create again out
of external influences, not because it comes
from the purity of your being. So that's also
another interesting dynamic that I am exploring
now. That's what you're exploring. And on Substack,
what we found is, are these your poems that's
on Substack? Yes, I have two pages on Substack.
One, it's called The Hybrid Soul Blood. poems
and articles about anything that comes to my
mind, you know, around shadow work, authenticity,
spirituality, creativity as well. And the other
page, which is called Oniric Life, which I share
about my Oniric experiences and practical tools,
as I said before, to remember dreams more efficiently
and how to have a more intimate relationship
with um, with, with our dreams and let them guide
us. Talk a little bit about shadow work. What
is that? Shadow work is getting familiar and
comfortable with, with the traits that we despise
about ourselves or other people. So for example,
I used to experience jealousy within a romantic
context. So, um, Well, I like to say that I wasn't
the jealous one, but sometimes I was acting as
the jealous one. So that made me jealous. So
it's all these, you know, these things that we
play in our heads. But now, so I had to face
myself. So I just, I just stayed there and I
was journal about my jealousy. So anytime I would
get triggered because I was jealous, then I would
write it down. as it was, was I was feeling without,
you know, bullshitting myself, with all honesty
and read that again until it became part of,
until I accepted that trait of myself. Yeah.
And I did that the same again and again with
all the fears I had. For example, public speaking,
I was absolutely, you know, afraid of Speaking
in front of the camera and expressing my opinions
and myself and my story and And here I am. So
that's that's a part of myself. I've accepted
and Sometimes it does cares me again, but I don't
let that fear control me. So That's that's what
part of the shadow work is Okay, I like that
because we all have our shadows, right? And so
to work on those would be, you know, definitely,
definitely beneficial. So, Cristiano, who are
you today? I am, I got asked this question before,
so I'm prepared for it. Oh, nice, nice, nice.
So, who I am today, I am the creator and the
destroyer of my life. I am everything and nothing.
I am all the paradoxical nature of my spirit.
I am all the opposing forces of life. I'm the
good and the bad. So I could go on and on and
on. That's who I am today. That's the words that
came to mind is the yin and the yang of of your
life, right? That's the that's what came to mind
and it was You you prepared for that that answer
But that's really from your heart I could sense
that's really truly who you believe yourself
to be and that's probably what makes you a poet
Yeah, I I consider myself an hybrid hybrid soul
as I as I call my blog so someone who someone
who doesn't You know identify it say you I don't
identify myself with with one single aspect Anymore
like I did with football. So it is a pleasure
that you calling me a poet and I'm grateful for
it If you've read my poems and they've touched
you, I'm super grateful. So yes, I am a poet,
but I'm also a writer. I am a son. I am a coach.
I'm an athlete. I am everything I want to be,
honestly. And so I'm trying to live my life as
a whole, which... you know, it makes me capable
of doing bad because I've done bad before and
I've hurt people and I don't shy away from it.
I'm not perfect. Even to these days, I sometimes
hurt people or hurt myself or fall back into,
you know, self -sabotaging, you know, multiple
times. But at least I'm doing my best to be quick
and to realize that and to shift the narrative.
You did say that you were everything and nothing.
So that really speaks to that. Christian, there's
so much that we could talk about. We're coming
up on the hour. But first and foremost, I want
to say thank you for sharing your story and just
being willing to be open about your experience
and your journey. I don't think that everybody
has that ability. To just be open about you know
where they are who they are who they're not and
bringing that to just to the two people to share
what you've been through and Inspire folks to
do the same for themselves What is your mission
now? What is my mission I didn't prepare for
that question What is my mission? You can workshop
it out right now. My mission is to, well, it
goes back to, you know, doing my best to, to
be my whole self, um, to integrate. Well, I'll
tell you what's present now. Okay. I'll answer
with, with, with, uh, with presence. My mission
now is to, um, into is to integrate my, my sexuality.
is to integrate my masculine self and my feminine
self to create harmony and to redefine my definition
of being a man. That's my mission now. My own
definition, not what society thinks. So my mission
now is to reflect on that and Yes, and to let
insights come to me to receive to receive my
truth To receive your truth. Yes, I got that
As your last question that I'm gonna ask you
on the podcast This is knowing what I ask everyone
What's on your mind? In your heart and soul that
you want to share with people that are listening
and watching Well, I wanted to I wanted to praise
you because you've been such a great host and
because you've read you've read my as I said
before you've read my unspoken words and you've
You've rephrased things I said in a way that
made it easy for me to to answer your questions
And you at the same time you've challenged my
my thinking my perception because you allow me
to extrapolate answers and words that I haven't
thought about or processed before. So just by
our conversation, I'm now able to integrate some
aspects of myself, thanks to you. So that's one
thing I wanted to share. And that's really meaningful
to me. And I appreciate it. Absolutely. What
was the question? Yeah, so really from your heart
and your soul, what's on your mind that you want
to share with people that something that you're
probably probably even dying to say, or whatever
is present for you right now, just to share with
share my favorite quote, which is the problem
is not the problem. The problem is your attitude
about the problem. That's my quote. And It took
me out from a depressive state a few years ago
just by reflecting on that quote. So my heart
is telling me to share that because it is a quote
that it's up to interpretation and it can mean
different things to people. So I hope that everyone
who just heard that quote. gets moved and feels
inspired to take action in their life. Yeah,
I love that, man. Thank you for that question.
And before I ask the question for the audience,
I got to say throughout the conversation, sometimes
I know I could tell that you you're Italian,
but I could tell you've been in Australia. There's
a certain phrase that you would say. I was like,
that sounds very Aussie. Yeah, I don't. Not being
around English people. It is fast. It is mixed.
It is fast to forget English. Yeah. It's perfect,
man. We speak in Italian these days. Yeah, that's
good. It's good, though. It's good. It's pretty
cool. You know, as Americans, we have different
dialects of English, but you can pretty much
tell where you're from in America or United States
based on how we speak. But here's what I want
to say for our last question, which is for the
audience, what is one illusion or limiting belief
about success or purpose you've had to let go
of? I want you to share that as in the comments.
And as we always say, let's make thriving our
new normal. And I'll see you next time. Peace.
Before you go, I just want to say thank you.
Thank you for being a part of the Thrive Old
Journey. Every time you show up here, you're
choosing growth, clarity, and the deeper work
of becoming who you're meant to be in this world.
And if you're ready to reconnect with what truly
lights you up, I created something powerful that
can help you. It's called The Empowered Path,
Seven Days to Reclaim Your Purpose and Passion.
It's a beautifully designed guided workbook that
walks you through a week of powerful prompts,
clarity building tools, and real mindset shifts.
Now you can get instant access to it today. It's
a small investment for a huge return, your energy,
your clarity, your alignment. And if you want
to take it deeper, check this out. I'm offering
a limited number of free 30 minute purpose coaching
sessions. No pressure. No pitch, just space for
you to reconnect with your direction, your gifts,
and what's next. So you can grab the guide and
book your session at the link in the show notes.
Let's not just go through the motions. Let's
really walk this path on purpose. I appreciate
you. And like we always say, let's make thriving
our new normal. And I'll talk to you soon.