WEBVTT

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But the way I was responding to the world, the

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way I was responding to people was very much

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indicating that I had that belief that like,

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oh, you owe me something. I'm here. Maybe it

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was some kind of egotistical belief like thinking

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I'm better than other people. Maybe it was, I

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don't know. I can't tell you the source of it.

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I really can't. But I can tell you it was definitely...

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How do you coach people through Through like

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the betrayal of themselves, you know that or

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them falling into victimhood So it's not for

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everyone because I don't like to be around bush

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like to get straight to the point The first thing

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to get someone to that point is to show them

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In regards to removing negative emotions from

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a relationship, absolutely, it will most certainly

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do that. But in regards to removing positive

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emotions from a relationship, no. And even more

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to the point, it will continue to foster positive

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relations long after a relationship, because

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now it's nothing about how the other person screwed

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you or they've done you wrong or you've done

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them wrong. There's no they did this, there's

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no us and them, there's no us versus them. What

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if the biggest betrayal in your life wasn't done

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to you, but by you? What if the red flags you

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ignored, the burnout you kept pushing through,

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the relationships that fell apart weren't accidents,

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but patterns built on one belief that something

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outside of you will fix what's broken inside?

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Today's guest, Clay Moffitt, ex -Navy weapons

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tech, high -performance coach, and author of

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The Trust Trap, is here to challenge that belief.

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This isn't a soft conversation about trusts.

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It's about self -betrayal, emotional intelligence,

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and why confidence is a myth. If you ever ignored

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your gut, trusted the wrong people, or felt like

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you kept letting yourself down, this episode

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is your interruption. It won't just make you

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feel inspired, it will make you tell the truth.

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Hey there. Look, my hope is that the Thravo journey

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meets you exactly where you are and helps you

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rise into who you're here to be. It's 2025, and

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this is your year to thrive, despite what the

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world is throwing at us. And our desire is that

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our conversations inspire you, bring clarity,

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and give you a reason to breathe deeper. So our

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ask is that you take a moment to subscribe, download

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the episode, and follow us on your favorite RSS

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platform, your support. doesn't just help the

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show grow. It helps build a space that's rooted

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in your evolution. And that means everything

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to me and the TDJ team. Now, if you're ready

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to go beyond the episodes, come join our private

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Thrive Wheel of Journey discussion group on Facebook.

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We're walking through a 22 -week series built

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to anchor each week in intention, purpose, and

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meaningful connection. I do so look forward to

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hearing your voice and can't wait to see you

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in the group. But for right now, let's get into

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it. So Clay, again, man, just I want to say thank

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you for being on the podcast. I know you're in

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Phuket, Thailand. What time is it there? As a

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matter of fact, 5am. Oh my gosh. Okay. So thank

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you for being on the podcast. Thanks. Welcome

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to the show. Like I said before, man, just the

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story that you have the knowledge that you have

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to share with the world. I appreciate you and

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I'm excited to have this conversation with you.

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And again, thank you for being here. I'm very

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excited to be having this conversation. It's

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an interesting place to be because I did podcasts

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many, many years ago, like 2019, 2018. I did

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maybe four or five. I was like, oh, this is great.

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And then kind of stopped because I didn't really

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think I had anything unique to offer. Right.

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And that's all changed in the last six, seven

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months, which I'm sure we are definitely going

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to get into like how, why, et cetera, et cetera.

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But just even my approach has changed. So I'm

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very protective of my sleep and this would never

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have happened before, but I've adjusted my schedule

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so that I just go to sleep earlier so that I

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wake up and then we're good to go. And there's

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some podcasts that I get on at 10 p .m. 11 p

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.m. at night because that's like the right time.

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So it's always going to be early morning for

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me or late evening that I get on podcasts unless

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they're in the UK or Australia and then it's

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typically early morning for Australia and UK

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is typically like very early evening. So I'm

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very happy to be here and I appreciate you creating

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space for us. Absolutely. So you are you're actually

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the of this section of this section of our interviews

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and conversations. You're the first person out

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of two that we'll be talking to in Thailand.

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So I'm actually really excited to have people

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from across the across the world. Yeah, to be

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on the podcast that we have a conversation with.

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And like I said, man, we're about conversations

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that really make a difference. And that really

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can lead people to enlightenment and understanding

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of who they are in the world, what space they're

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in. And the question I have for you as we move

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forward is, what's something that you used to

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believe deeply that kind of forced you to unlearn?

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So the surprising thing about that is it's not

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something that even you'll ever leak, right?

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It came about after having multiple instances

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in my life, kind of being shoved into my face

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for me to actually recognize that that must have

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been a belief. And the belief was very much that

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the world owed me something. I don't know how

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it came out. I don't know how it came about.

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My parents certainly don't have that belief.

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In fact, I can... vividly recall many, many,

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many times to my parents saying the exact words,

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you know, the world owes you nothing. Um, and

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just getting hit with that. But the way I was

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responding to the world, the way I was responding

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to people was very much indicating that I have

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that belief that like, Oh, you owe me something.

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I'm here. Maybe it was some kind of. egotistical

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belief like thinking I'm better than other people

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maybe it was I don't know I can't tell you the

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source of it I really can't but I can tell you

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it was definitely what I would associate with

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this sense of victimhood that I carried for a

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long time right like oh I'm going to get my outcome

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and that outcome is going to be achieved because

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These other people owe me something. And you

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said you're going to do it, so that means you

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owe it to me. Now I'm very big on if I say I'm

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going to do something, I'm going to do it. And

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I think the trap was I was pushing my rules onto

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other people and expecting them to adhere to

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my rules and the way that I do things. And that's

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a big problem. That's probably another really

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big belief that has also kind of collapsed. There's

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two in one. So the one was that the world owe

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me something and the second was that my rules

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should be the rules for everyone else instead

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of recognizing that other people most likely

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have their own rules and follow those. You know

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what, I don't think that you're alone in that

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world. I talked to a lot of people that have

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that whole notion, you know, that the world owes

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them something. And there are probably people

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that walk around not really truly admitting that

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to themselves, but they live their life like

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that. And it's probably more some conscious subconscious

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for some people. And sometimes you have to check

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yourself. Be like, do I believe this? Sometimes

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you can't even really check yourself. Like I

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promise you, I didn't check myself. Uh, I got

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fracked and continuously. And I was continuously

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putting myself in those positions. But because

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of that belief in the way it was being framed,

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I was always looking outward at why people kept

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doing this. The standard question, right? Why

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does this keep happening to me? Is the ultimate

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victimhood question. Because now you're at the

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mercy of something happening to you, not the

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fact that you're a part of the process, not the

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fact that you're a part of the thing that caused

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to resolve. Right. So there's a lot of people

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that walk around saying that and repeating that

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question to themselves and always say, well,

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OK, so if you say that out of all the times that

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you've asked yourself that question, have you

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ever noticed on one single occasion that something

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good can be asking that question? And the answer

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is always no, you know. Yeah. And the answer

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is always no. Because what happens is the brain

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goes, oh, you want the answer. Let me go find

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all the answer. And it goes digs up all the crap.

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that has gone wrong in your life, just shoves

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it front and saying, you're like, right, this

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is exactly what I needed. It wasn't what you

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needed. What you needed was a different question

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and a different way of looking at life. And this

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is why in coaching they talk about really good

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coaching is about asking really good quality

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questions. How do you coach people through, through

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like the betrayal of themselves, you know, or

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them falling into victimhood? Cool, so it's not

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for everyone because I don't like to be around

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a bush. I get straight to the point The first

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thing to get someone to that point is to show

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them Betrayal doesn't exist Not in the form that

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people think and that the only kind of betrayal

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it does exist itself. And that can be a pill

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for a lot of people to swallow like a very large,

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fat pill that they don't want to swallow. What

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the evidence when you start to break it down

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is kind of overwhelming in the favor of that

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being a reality. And so the typical reason that

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I'd say that I was on a podcast a little while

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ago, and the host was talking about how he wanted

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to be more vulnerable and more open and sharing.

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I said, okay, fantastic. And then he started

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speaking about this and he brought up a similar

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question. And he had previously just mentioned

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something about his ex -wife. And I said, okay,

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she might be an example and I'll show you something.

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And so we went through this process where I said,

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okay, so before you guys split eventually, before

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you got there, Looking back now at that situation

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and that time period before you actually split,

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can you put your hand on your heart and say without

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question that you are 100 % convinced that there

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were no signs that the relationship was going

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that way? He's like, no, I'm right. So if you

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can see those signs now, then you could see those

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signs back then. And you were likely negotiating

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with yourself saying, this is not true. She wouldn't

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do that. We're married. Oh, no, we've got a good

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relationship. Oh, no, this is worth five. And

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you come up with all these excuses and reasons

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as to why to ignore the obvious thing that is

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happening under the rug that is going to eventually

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lead to this outcome. And that's why I say self

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betrayal exists, because you're noticing all

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along these things that happen now, whether it's

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a girl that's out at night or a woman out at

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night. and she's being hit on in the bar. She's

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detecting red flags. Whether it's people at work

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that are seeing their boss continuously take

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credit for the work that they do and not passing

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it down. And then when a promotion comes around,

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they promote someone else. It doesn't matter

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the situation. There is always going to be real

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time data that's happening that people are going

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to rationalize with themselves through like a

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cognitive bias or through a filter that they

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have, a mechanism. And then that is going to

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predict and determine how they actually respond.

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And then that response is going to set them up

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to get blindsided, backstabbed, betrayed, or

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whatever. And then they're going like, I can't

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believe it happened. When all along, they saw

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it happening, like they were watching it happening

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real time, but their brain, it created this heuristic

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and the shortcuts kind of sets up a perfect storm.

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that allows it to happen in the first place.

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So a lot of it is uncovering. In the self -development

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community, there's a really big thing. And it's

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even bigger in internet marketing. And they say

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you need to show the other person it's not their

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fault. Now, for the most part, I never subscribe

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to that. If you tell people it's not their fault,

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then basically you're telling them to continue

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being a victim. Now, the ironic thing is this

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understanding that we have a betrayal cannot

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be anyone's fault. And it can't be anyone's fault

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because of multiple reasons. The first reason

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is evolutionary psychology. If you look at evolutionary

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psychology and how that plays a role with the

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nervous system and the way that we are wired,

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literally wired to look at this, how neurons

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fire, you'll start to see that The first thing

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is that the brain wants to learn everything as

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fast as it can and turn it into an automatic

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path. And it wants to do that because it wants

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to conserve energy. Because we've got 7 -11 now,

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for the previous 190 ,000 years before that,

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we didn't. And the brain hasn't evolved so quickly.

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And in fact, I would even argue that we've got

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7 -11 now, but you could go back to the 1950s

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and it wasn't that way. So it's not. Like we've

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had this massive surplus and excess of food all

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along There are some people that have the rich

00:14:55.220 --> 00:14:57.960
most certainly have had access to it or the majority

00:14:57.960 --> 00:15:02.159
of the population have Yeah, so therefore We

00:15:02.159 --> 00:15:06.399
need to conserve energy So therefore if you have

00:15:06.399 --> 00:15:09.559
to continuously pay attention all the time that's

00:15:09.559 --> 00:15:15.500
chewing a lot of energy so therefore if For example

00:15:15.500 --> 00:15:18.539
Michael you and I are friends we've been friends

00:15:18.539 --> 00:15:21.820
for years. I don't need to pay attention with

00:15:21.820 --> 00:15:24.940
you now, because I know Michael, I've got this

00:15:24.940 --> 00:15:26.919
internal representation in my head of who Michael

00:15:26.919 --> 00:15:31.960
is, how Michael acts. And so when you start acting

00:15:31.960 --> 00:15:34.200
differently, or when I start acting differently,

00:15:34.820 --> 00:15:38.820
each one of us is like, ah, no, that's not Clay.

00:15:38.940 --> 00:15:41.360
No, that's not Michael. No, no, no, no, that

00:15:41.360 --> 00:15:43.549
wouldn't happen. because we're having like this

00:15:43.549 --> 00:15:47.070
internal cognitive bias, this conflict inside

00:15:47.070 --> 00:15:50.350
ourselves because the reality that we're experiencing

00:15:50.350 --> 00:15:55.029
and witnessing right now, it doesn't match up

00:15:55.029 --> 00:15:56.950
with the reality that we've created inside our

00:15:56.950 --> 00:16:00.669
head. There's a disbelief? Yes, sir. There's

00:16:00.669 --> 00:16:04.690
a massive disconnect. And so we're clear that

00:16:04.690 --> 00:16:08.139
disconnect, it doesn't mean that anyone's being

00:16:08.139 --> 00:16:11.360
evil, maniacal, or trying to kill you or out

00:16:11.360 --> 00:16:13.899
to screw you over. It just means that there's

00:16:13.899 --> 00:16:17.120
a separation of an intention. There's a separation

00:16:17.120 --> 00:16:23.080
of a mutually beneficial outcome. Because that's

00:16:23.080 --> 00:16:26.539
what trust is in my definition. And if you look

00:16:26.539 --> 00:16:29.480
through your life, you can see that every time

00:16:29.480 --> 00:16:33.399
someone has done the right thing by you, there's

00:16:33.399 --> 00:16:35.740
been a benefit for them that happened to align

00:16:35.740 --> 00:16:38.889
with a benefit for you. Yeah. And if every time

00:16:38.889 --> 00:16:42.129
someone has not done the right thing by you,

00:16:42.529 --> 00:16:46.409
there's been no benefit for them to do it. Here

00:16:46.409 --> 00:16:48.649
on the Thriveville journey, we talk a lot about

00:16:48.649 --> 00:16:52.149
not just surviving, but thriving. And a big part

00:16:52.149 --> 00:16:54.610
of that for me has been understanding my health

00:16:54.610 --> 00:16:57.269
on a deeper level. That's why I partnered with

00:16:57.269 --> 00:17:00.049
Livegood and brought it under my company, Orion's

00:17:00.049 --> 00:17:02.450
Health. Not just because I believe in the products,

00:17:02.590 --> 00:17:05.150
but because I've seen what they can do firsthand.

00:17:05.440 --> 00:17:07.700
I've walked through some hard health chapters

00:17:07.700 --> 00:17:11.259
in my life, including cancer and a kidney transplant,

00:17:11.400 --> 00:17:14.960
and I know what it feels like when your body's

00:17:14.960 --> 00:17:17.599
working against you. That's why we're offering

00:17:17.599 --> 00:17:20.480
two free tools that help me and can help you

00:17:20.480 --> 00:17:24.000
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00:17:24.000 --> 00:17:26.960
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00:17:26.960 --> 00:17:29.359
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00:17:29.359 --> 00:17:32.160
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00:17:32.160 --> 00:17:35.410
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00:17:35.410 --> 00:17:39.150
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00:17:39.150 --> 00:17:42.150
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00:17:42.150 --> 00:17:45.089
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00:17:45.089 --> 00:17:47.869
way to clear out toxins and start fresh, something

00:17:47.869 --> 00:17:51.470
I personally use and stand behind. This isn't

00:17:51.470 --> 00:17:53.730
just a sponsorship. It's part of my mission through

00:17:53.730 --> 00:17:56.900
Orion's Health to help people thrive and body,

00:17:57.200 --> 00:18:00.460
mind and spirit. Of course, of course, always,

00:18:00.460 --> 00:18:02.299
always, always consult your physician before

00:18:02.299 --> 00:18:04.339
starting any new supplement or health regimen.

00:18:04.640 --> 00:18:06.940
Your body is unique and your healthcare provider

00:18:06.940 --> 00:18:09.400
should always be part of the conversation. The

00:18:09.400 --> 00:18:12.140
links are in the show notes. Now tap in and take

00:18:12.140 --> 00:18:15.180
your next step toward thriving. So if you can

00:18:15.180 --> 00:18:18.480
peel it back and say that, okay, trust isn't

00:18:18.480 --> 00:18:21.619
this characteristic trait. It's not this virtue

00:18:21.619 --> 00:18:24.140
that we have, which is, you know, a very noble

00:18:24.140 --> 00:18:25.980
way of looking at, but it's not. I don't see

00:18:25.980 --> 00:18:27.660
it that way. I see it as more of a practical

00:18:27.660 --> 00:18:31.819
and objective thing. Then you can start tracking

00:18:31.819 --> 00:18:34.700
behavior real time. And you can start using and

00:18:34.700 --> 00:18:37.000
utilizing the information that you get. And when

00:18:37.000 --> 00:18:38.960
you use this information, you start tracking

00:18:38.960 --> 00:18:41.059
it in the way that it starts presenting itself.

00:18:41.759 --> 00:18:44.259
You can start seeing, oh, OK, it looks like we're

00:18:44.259 --> 00:18:47.559
starting to go separate ways. Perfect. No worries.

00:18:47.619 --> 00:18:49.599
That means the relationship has run its course

00:18:49.599 --> 00:18:52.460
in the way that I expect it to run its course.

00:18:53.039 --> 00:18:56.130
And that's OK. Now some people can think of that

00:18:56.130 --> 00:18:58.509
being a cynical way of looking at things. Some

00:18:58.509 --> 00:19:00.690
people can say it's a very negative and conceited

00:19:00.690 --> 00:19:03.930
way of looking at things. I just think it's very

00:19:03.930 --> 00:19:06.309
much objective. I don't think there's anything

00:19:06.309 --> 00:19:08.849
negative about it. I think it's extremely positive

00:19:08.849 --> 00:19:12.349
and I also think it's massively liberating because

00:19:12.349 --> 00:19:14.890
to come to that realization means that you're

00:19:14.890 --> 00:19:16.730
never going to get screwed over because you recognize

00:19:16.730 --> 00:19:19.029
that you're in it for yourself. You're a human

00:19:19.029 --> 00:19:22.049
being. And everyone else is also in it for themselves.

00:19:22.049 --> 00:19:24.390
And it doesn't make them a selfish, horrible,

00:19:24.990 --> 00:19:27.190
mean, evil human being. It just makes them a

00:19:27.190 --> 00:19:29.490
human being. And that's just how we're all operating.

00:19:30.569 --> 00:19:33.750
If you take that stance then, are you just looking

00:19:33.750 --> 00:19:38.450
at that as data in the relationship and taking

00:19:38.450 --> 00:19:42.349
out the emotion of the relationship? No, not

00:19:42.349 --> 00:19:43.930
really. Because you're still going to have emotion.

00:19:44.690 --> 00:19:46.710
You're still going to have connection. Yeah.

00:19:46.829 --> 00:19:48.849
I would see that there are a lot of people that

00:19:48.849 --> 00:19:52.630
if they wouldn't look at it that way. Like if

00:19:52.630 --> 00:19:55.750
there's some kind of, you know, point where the

00:19:55.750 --> 00:19:57.930
relationships are then going to start, you know,

00:19:58.130 --> 00:20:02.910
going away. It just looks like just from my experience

00:20:02.910 --> 00:20:06.109
that people put emotion into it, and not the

00:20:06.109 --> 00:20:10.190
way where people would think like, oh, well,

00:20:10.190 --> 00:20:12.529
you're not benefiting me anymore. And you're

00:20:12.529 --> 00:20:16.009
not like there's no benefit benefiting from our

00:20:16.009 --> 00:20:19.319
relationship. So let's Let's go the other way.

00:20:19.339 --> 00:20:25.299
Right. It's more like it could be blame or upset

00:20:25.299 --> 00:20:30.559
or something along those lines. So, okay. In

00:20:30.559 --> 00:20:33.859
regards to removing negative emotion from a relationship.

00:20:34.299 --> 00:20:37.299
Absolutely. It will most certainly do that. But

00:20:37.299 --> 00:20:39.740
in the regard to removing positive emotions from

00:20:39.740 --> 00:20:43.180
a relationship, no. And even more to the point,

00:20:43.740 --> 00:20:46.400
it will continue to foster positive relationships.

00:20:47.039 --> 00:20:50.680
long after relationship because now it's nothing

00:20:50.680 --> 00:20:53.279
about how the other person screwed you or they've

00:20:53.279 --> 00:20:55.579
done you wrong and you've done them wrong. There's

00:20:55.579 --> 00:20:58.039
no they did this. There's no us and them. There's

00:20:58.039 --> 00:21:02.559
no us versus them. There's only alignment and

00:21:02.559 --> 00:21:04.640
misalignment or unalignment, whatever you want

00:21:04.640 --> 00:21:07.180
to call it. So, okay, we're aligned on this thing.

00:21:07.220 --> 00:21:08.859
Okay, let's keep working together. Okay, we're

00:21:08.859 --> 00:21:11.299
no longer aligned. Perfect. All right. Thanks,

00:21:11.400 --> 00:21:13.599
man. I've had a blast. This is awesome. You do

00:21:13.599 --> 00:21:15.319
you I'm going to do me and let's keep going.

00:21:15.740 --> 00:21:18.160
And maybe our paths come back in the future where

00:21:18.160 --> 00:21:20.539
we realign again. I mean, who knows? Yeah, who

00:21:20.539 --> 00:21:22.420
knows? And there's, there's points and I'm just

00:21:22.420 --> 00:21:25.119
looking at my life where there's nothing wrong.

00:21:25.240 --> 00:21:27.799
Nothing happened. It's just, just things just

00:21:27.799 --> 00:21:31.519
kind of went. Yep. Separate. Yeah. There was

00:21:31.519 --> 00:21:35.160
no, you know, nothing negative. It just, it just

00:21:35.160 --> 00:21:38.059
kind of happened the way it happened. Yeah. There's

00:21:38.059 --> 00:21:40.880
no disharmony. There's no anger. There's no,

00:21:40.960 --> 00:21:43.059
there's nothing there. You're like, okay, like

00:21:43.059 --> 00:21:46.000
this is where we're headed. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

00:21:46.680 --> 00:21:50.700
You know, um, I want to kind of piggyback a little

00:21:50.700 --> 00:21:52.720
bit because we were going somewhere but I want

00:21:52.720 --> 00:21:57.339
to I want to kind of establish who you are and

00:21:57.339 --> 00:22:03.640
show your story a little bit. And you I wanted

00:22:03.640 --> 00:22:05.680
you to talk about a little bit about you know,

00:22:05.779 --> 00:22:08.140
what happened in your with your eyes and things

00:22:08.140 --> 00:22:12.099
like that because I came across a statement that

00:22:12.099 --> 00:22:15.950
you had made. Where you know you had some issues

00:22:15.950 --> 00:22:18.809
and like you to go into it, but you had said

00:22:18.809 --> 00:22:22.410
something very powerful that That confidence

00:22:22.410 --> 00:22:26.650
is a myth people bought Bought it hook line and

00:22:26.650 --> 00:22:29.569
sinker. It's like a fast -food advert. Everything

00:22:29.569 --> 00:22:32.109
looks amazing Then you order from the restaurant

00:22:32.109 --> 00:22:34.369
and your expectations are shattered by reality.

00:22:34.569 --> 00:22:37.049
It's not the starting point It's the it's not

00:22:37.049 --> 00:22:40.150
even the goal. It's just a side effect commitment

00:22:40.150 --> 00:22:44.890
is what you get when you Commitment is what gets

00:22:44.890 --> 00:22:48.069
you to the promised land. Why? Because commitment

00:22:48.069 --> 00:22:52.009
doesn't ask how you feel. It doesn't care. If

00:22:52.009 --> 00:22:56.289
it's real, tethered, pure, and bulletproof, you'll

00:22:56.289 --> 00:22:59.369
walk through hell and you'll earn your place

00:22:59.369 --> 00:23:05.849
back in the light. Yep. That's accurate. So that

00:23:05.849 --> 00:23:10.109
came with an understanding, I guess, in the light

00:23:10.109 --> 00:23:12.809
of what happened uh, with you and physically,

00:23:12.950 --> 00:23:15.309
can you talk about that a little bit? Yeah, sure.

00:23:15.730 --> 00:23:18.930
So that, that belief most certainly formed a

00:23:18.930 --> 00:23:21.730
long time before that. It was just reinforced

00:23:21.730 --> 00:23:28.430
by the process. So to give full context, 2009,

00:23:28.690 --> 00:23:32.150
26th of December, 2009, I was at a music festival.

00:23:32.190 --> 00:23:34.490
It's boxing day in Australia day after Christmas

00:23:34.490 --> 00:23:37.890
public holiday. And I was walking from one stage

00:23:37.890 --> 00:23:40.470
to another. And, uh, my vision in my left eye

00:23:40.470 --> 00:23:43.710
just disappeared. vanished. Everything went black,

00:23:43.970 --> 00:23:48.569
which was a strange situation to be in. It's

00:23:48.569 --> 00:23:50.650
a public holiday in Australia. I didn't think

00:23:50.650 --> 00:23:53.230
much of it. I was like, okay, I'm probably just

00:23:53.230 --> 00:23:55.130
like having heatstroke or something like this.

00:23:55.130 --> 00:23:56.910
I'll just go chill out. I'll go home and rest

00:23:56.910 --> 00:23:59.690
and like, it'll be fine. Woke up the next day,

00:23:59.710 --> 00:24:01.430
it was still black. I'm like, huh, I should probably

00:24:01.430 --> 00:24:02.750
go check this out. So I went to the dentist,

00:24:02.970 --> 00:24:06.210
blah, blah, blah. Detached retina. I had three

00:24:06.210 --> 00:24:08.089
surgeries. They reattached the retina. It failed.

00:24:08.130 --> 00:24:09.970
They reattached the retina. It was a huge success.

00:24:09.970 --> 00:24:12.609
I got all my vision back. It was fantastic. And

00:24:12.609 --> 00:24:14.769
then they used a stabilizing oil inside my eye

00:24:14.769 --> 00:24:17.630
to keep the retina there. And that caused cataracts

00:24:17.630 --> 00:24:19.730
on my lens. So I had to operate to remove the

00:24:19.730 --> 00:24:22.630
cataract and put a fake lens in. And in doing

00:24:22.630 --> 00:24:26.250
so, they took my vision away again. So I've been

00:24:26.250 --> 00:24:29.710
blind in there since 2010, about March 2010,

00:24:29.789 --> 00:24:36.500
April 2010. And if you fast forward, 14 on years,

00:24:37.259 --> 00:24:40.380
November last year, give or take into November

00:24:40.380 --> 00:24:44.160
started December. I was on a road trip with my

00:24:44.160 --> 00:24:48.240
family for driving up to the national park. And

00:24:48.240 --> 00:24:51.640
the lines on the road started to split and deviate

00:24:51.640 --> 00:24:56.740
from each other. Oh, that's weird. But I wear

00:24:56.740 --> 00:24:59.019
a contact like my right eye was the only functional

00:24:59.019 --> 00:25:02.900
one. And I have a high mobile and a high stigmatism.

00:25:03.319 --> 00:25:05.900
And so I have to wear what's called toric lenses.

00:25:06.319 --> 00:25:08.599
So these lenses, if they don't sit at the exact

00:25:08.599 --> 00:25:12.140
right angle in my eye, then it can actually make

00:25:12.140 --> 00:25:14.980
my vision worse because they need to be sitting

00:25:14.980 --> 00:25:17.440
in the right angle to get the refraction in the

00:25:17.440 --> 00:25:20.740
right spot. It was like, Oh, it must be my contacts.

00:25:21.180 --> 00:25:23.759
And I left my glasses at home. So I spent the

00:25:23.759 --> 00:25:25.700
whole weekend just not really being able to see

00:25:25.700 --> 00:25:33.309
anything. I've been there. So we get back. I

00:25:33.309 --> 00:25:35.650
go to the optometrist and he's like, uh, I think

00:25:35.650 --> 00:25:37.009
you should go see an ophthalmologist. I think

00:25:37.009 --> 00:25:39.390
you might have a cataract. He was the first one

00:25:39.390 --> 00:25:42.390
to say it. So I went to the hospital and they

00:25:42.390 --> 00:25:44.250
said, no, I think you've got dry eyes. So I did

00:25:44.250 --> 00:25:48.250
this routine. Ended up going around spending

00:25:48.250 --> 00:25:52.410
a lot of months. So that was in December. Got

00:25:52.410 --> 00:25:56.930
December, January and February. Went and saw

00:25:56.930 --> 00:25:58.849
multiple ophthalmologists at multiple hospitals

00:25:58.849 --> 00:26:01.549
flying all around Thailand. Did a whole bunch

00:26:01.549 --> 00:26:04.049
of processes and then no, they ended up coming

00:26:04.049 --> 00:26:06.950
back three and a half months later. Okay. Yeah,

00:26:06.950 --> 00:26:10.130
it's 100 % cataracts. You need to operate again.

00:26:11.710 --> 00:26:16.490
I felt relief. And then at the same time, I felt

00:26:16.490 --> 00:26:19.690
a huge apprehension. Relief because I figured

00:26:19.690 --> 00:26:21.630
out what the issue was apprehension because I

00:26:21.630 --> 00:26:23.329
had to have the same surgery that took the vision

00:26:23.329 --> 00:26:28.650
from my left eye. So I booked in for the surgery.

00:26:28.950 --> 00:26:34.569
I came home. And two days later, it just kind

00:26:34.569 --> 00:26:37.130
of slapped me across the face. It was like, okay,

00:26:37.349 --> 00:26:41.089
there's a very real chance that at the end of

00:26:41.089 --> 00:26:45.390
that surgery, you might not see. Because if they

00:26:45.390 --> 00:26:46.910
screw up for some reason, and there's reasons

00:26:46.910 --> 00:26:49.210
beyond our control that could screw up, people

00:26:49.210 --> 00:26:53.250
are like, oh yeah, like what? Well, if the surgery

00:26:53.250 --> 00:26:55.849
had been two days later, I would have been on

00:26:55.849 --> 00:26:59.589
the surgery table. When the eight point six earthquake

00:26:59.589 --> 00:27:03.509
hit Bangkok. Others all have it in. Okay. Yeah.

00:27:04.910 --> 00:27:08.250
So there was things that are completely out of

00:27:08.250 --> 00:27:09.789
control where something could have happened.

00:27:09.789 --> 00:27:11.930
And if my eye had been cut open, they're doing

00:27:11.930 --> 00:27:13.990
that. It's very real that I would not be now

00:27:13.990 --> 00:27:16.269
see. Yeah, actually, that's the first thing when

00:27:16.269 --> 00:27:18.519
that happened. The first thing I said is I'm

00:27:18.519 --> 00:27:20.579
so thankful that my surgery was not today. The

00:27:20.579 --> 00:27:22.819
second thing I said was I hope that no one else

00:27:22.819 --> 00:27:24.400
had that surgery today because that would have

00:27:24.400 --> 00:27:29.140
been an absolute nightmare. That would have been

00:27:29.140 --> 00:27:35.119
brutal. So as I can see you now, so obviously

00:27:35.119 --> 00:27:40.359
the surgery was successful. But during that point

00:27:40.359 --> 00:27:44.680
in those two days, I've spent 15 years helping

00:27:44.680 --> 00:27:49.009
myself, helping other people. And like acquiring

00:27:49.009 --> 00:27:51.450
a set of skills and the knowledge base, it could

00:27:51.450 --> 00:27:54.410
be useful to other people. I also still want

00:27:54.410 --> 00:27:57.589
to be useful in case I do go blind and like have

00:27:57.589 --> 00:28:01.529
some way to contribute to the world. So I started

00:28:01.529 --> 00:28:03.150
thinking about like, what could I do? And the

00:28:03.150 --> 00:28:04.710
first thought I thought, you know what, I'll

00:28:04.710 --> 00:28:07.730
develop a course. Like that's a good idea. I

00:28:07.730 --> 00:28:09.650
can do a lot of video. I can get a lot. I can

00:28:09.650 --> 00:28:11.789
deliver a lot of value to people. Life changing

00:28:11.789 --> 00:28:14.130
is going to be fantastic. And I thought, what

00:28:14.130 --> 00:28:16.529
a stupid idea. How am I going to maintain the

00:28:16.529 --> 00:28:18.670
domain? How am I going to maintain all these

00:28:18.670 --> 00:28:20.829
other things that you need to do with all the

00:28:20.829 --> 00:28:25.349
widgets and the upkeep of plugins? It's like,

00:28:25.589 --> 00:28:28.230
well, the thing that I could really do is a book.

00:28:29.950 --> 00:28:32.490
So I set to work and I had three weeks to write

00:28:32.490 --> 00:28:36.130
and publish the book, which I did. Now I didn't

00:28:36.130 --> 00:28:38.670
know that I was going to be able to do it. I

00:28:38.670 --> 00:28:40.390
wasn't confident that I was going to be able

00:28:40.390 --> 00:28:43.470
to write a good book in three weeks. I wasn't

00:28:43.470 --> 00:28:46.079
even confident that It was going to be done in

00:28:46.079 --> 00:28:55.579
three weeks. But I was committed. And so I knew

00:28:55.579 --> 00:28:58.880
that I would do whatever it takes to make it

00:28:58.880 --> 00:29:02.460
happen. It didn't mean it was going to be an

00:29:02.460 --> 00:29:05.799
Amazon bestseller, a New York Times bestseller,

00:29:06.099 --> 00:29:09.039
or a Wall Street Journal bestseller. And it would

00:29:09.039 --> 00:29:10.940
be very impossible to do that because I don't

00:29:10.940 --> 00:29:13.180
have a list of 500 ,000 or a million people.

00:29:13.079 --> 00:29:16.819
So it would have been very difficult. But I knew

00:29:16.819 --> 00:29:18.319
that I'd be able to get it out there and I'd

00:29:18.319 --> 00:29:23.920
be able to make it happen. And so I did. I basically

00:29:23.920 --> 00:29:26.400
deleted most of my social media. I was getting

00:29:26.400 --> 00:29:29.380
ready to like exit off social media. So I started

00:29:29.380 --> 00:29:31.559
getting rid of all my contacts, disconnecting

00:29:31.559 --> 00:29:34.259
from everyone, which looking back now was a very

00:29:34.259 --> 00:29:36.619
stupid thing to do because I went from having

00:29:36.619 --> 00:29:38.640
four and a half thousand contacts down to like

00:29:38.640 --> 00:29:40.440
200, which doesn't really help with marketing

00:29:40.440 --> 00:29:43.839
the book, but you know, whatever. Um, I wasn't

00:29:43.839 --> 00:29:46.720
preparing for the book and the operation being

00:29:46.720 --> 00:29:48.980
successful. I was preparing for things going

00:29:48.980 --> 00:29:53.380
worse. And then let me just like figure it out

00:29:53.380 --> 00:29:59.180
after that. But that process itself was very

00:29:59.180 --> 00:30:04.160
cathartic because it actually made me go on reassess

00:30:04.160 --> 00:30:07.259
the things that I'm doing and how I'm doing them

00:30:07.259 --> 00:30:10.819
and how they affect other people. and what are

00:30:10.819 --> 00:30:13.160
the core things that underline the things that

00:30:13.160 --> 00:30:18.039
I'm doing, which are things that I have never

00:30:18.039 --> 00:30:21.339
ever actually put into words or coach people

00:30:21.339 --> 00:30:23.259
on. I've never coach people on how I do what

00:30:23.259 --> 00:30:26.259
I do or what the mechanisms are behind it. I've

00:30:26.259 --> 00:30:29.079
always just coach people and use these tools

00:30:29.079 --> 00:30:31.400
unknowingly in my head. So it taught me how to

00:30:31.400 --> 00:30:33.759
decode all these things to make something that's

00:30:33.759 --> 00:30:39.799
going to be exceptionally useful. Okay. And so

00:30:39.799 --> 00:30:41.319
what was, I mean, what was going through your

00:30:41.319 --> 00:30:44.099
mind when you were actually starting to create

00:30:44.099 --> 00:30:47.700
that? Um, dealing with what you dealt with and,

00:30:48.119 --> 00:30:51.319
and then just thinking about like, you know,

00:30:51.500 --> 00:30:52.960
writing this book, like what was, what was going

00:30:52.960 --> 00:30:56.420
through your mind? There's only one thing. How

00:30:56.420 --> 00:31:00.740
do I write a book that's self -contained so that

00:31:00.740 --> 00:31:07.309
it provides a solution to people and, and offers

00:31:07.309 --> 00:31:11.369
the value of what it says on the cover. And it

00:31:11.369 --> 00:31:13.730
actually does what it says. And that was the

00:31:13.730 --> 00:31:17.089
big thing. To be able to create that and to be

00:31:17.089 --> 00:31:19.089
able to have that and to be able to build that.

00:31:19.630 --> 00:31:23.309
That was a very, very important thing for me.

00:31:25.150 --> 00:31:27.450
Because there was the chance that I might not

00:31:27.450 --> 00:31:30.630
be able to coach again. I want this book to be

00:31:30.630 --> 00:31:35.089
like a masterclass of coaching with Clay. And

00:31:35.089 --> 00:31:38.299
so that was the intention behind writing the

00:31:38.299 --> 00:31:39.900
book. And that was the only thing that was behind

00:31:39.900 --> 00:31:42.579
writing the book. Like that this book had to

00:31:42.579 --> 00:31:45.420
be to a standard and the standard had to be very

00:31:45.420 --> 00:31:48.160
high. And so we're clear, when I published the

00:31:48.160 --> 00:31:52.460
book, it had tons of errors. Of course. Like

00:31:52.460 --> 00:31:54.920
tons. Like, no, but like obvious ones. Like there

00:31:54.920 --> 00:31:57.480
was entire paragraphs that had been repeated

00:31:57.480 --> 00:31:59.980
on some of the pictures inside the book and some

00:31:59.980 --> 00:32:01.799
of the drawings inside the book. It had the wrong

00:32:01.799 --> 00:32:05.950
captions in there. push this thing out so fast

00:32:05.950 --> 00:32:08.250
right that we were bound to have some errors

00:32:08.250 --> 00:32:09.990
and even my editor like we were just working

00:32:09.990 --> 00:32:12.990
so hard that we ended up with it's just too much

00:32:12.990 --> 00:32:16.369
they're all fixed now which is good but yeah

00:32:16.369 --> 00:32:19.869
of course right uh you know we didn't really

00:32:19.869 --> 00:32:21.769
have the space or the breathing room because

00:32:21.769 --> 00:32:24.029
we're under the pump and under the fire and to

00:32:24.029 --> 00:32:27.250
be frank i think there's maybe 30 copies or 40

00:32:27.250 --> 00:32:29.150
copies out there that have these errors in them

00:32:29.150 --> 00:32:32.660
and i don't care like i got it done Right. Like

00:32:32.660 --> 00:32:35.480
I got it done. I achieve what I want to do. And

00:32:35.480 --> 00:32:38.819
if someone is super upset about them having a

00:32:38.819 --> 00:32:41.299
book with all these errors, then they can contact

00:32:41.299 --> 00:32:43.000
me and I'll give them another one. It's fine.

00:32:43.119 --> 00:32:45.460
I don't care. It makes a difference. Like I achieved

00:32:45.460 --> 00:32:47.980
my goal. My goal was to have a good book and

00:32:47.980 --> 00:32:51.079
the errors in the book don't detract. I mean,

00:32:51.099 --> 00:32:53.039
they will, if you want to get pedantic and you're

00:32:53.039 --> 00:32:54.819
like, Oh, well this book, I paid the book. So

00:32:54.819 --> 00:32:56.259
it should be worth it and should be perfect.

00:32:56.339 --> 00:32:58.240
If you want to go down that path and you're okay,

00:32:58.779 --> 00:33:00.539
you kind of missing the point. But it doesn't

00:33:00.539 --> 00:33:02.000
detract from the message, it doesn't detract

00:33:02.000 --> 00:33:04.619
from the value, it doesn't detract from all the

00:33:04.619 --> 00:33:06.519
things that are inside the book. Yeah, I was

00:33:06.519 --> 00:33:09.339
going to ask you about that. But you answered.

00:33:10.559 --> 00:33:14.019
So the book is called Trust Trap, right? Yes,

00:33:14.019 --> 00:33:18.279
sir. What is that? Can you just kind of give

00:33:18.279 --> 00:33:21.960
just a general understanding of what Trust Trap

00:33:21.960 --> 00:33:25.079
is? So the Trust Trap is basically taking back

00:33:25.079 --> 00:33:27.230
what we're talking about with the trail. The

00:33:27.230 --> 00:33:29.829
Trust Trap is this mechanism that we have inside

00:33:29.829 --> 00:33:33.690
the brain, this perfect storm of a combination

00:33:33.690 --> 00:33:36.710
of evolutionary psychology, how neurons work

00:33:36.710 --> 00:33:39.849
together, and how language comes together to

00:33:39.849 --> 00:33:43.089
create this mechanism where we create these frozen

00:33:43.089 --> 00:33:47.150
mental images of people. Because we want to conserve

00:33:47.150 --> 00:33:49.690
energy inside our brains, we don't want to expel

00:33:49.690 --> 00:33:52.730
excess energy when we don't have to. So we create

00:33:52.730 --> 00:33:56.940
these I call them safety boxes, safety brackets.

00:33:57.880 --> 00:34:01.359
For example, you're now in a safe bracket inside

00:34:01.359 --> 00:34:06.460
my mind and I can trust Michael is safe, Michael

00:34:06.460 --> 00:34:09.440
is trustworthy, so I no longer need to be paying

00:34:09.440 --> 00:34:16.500
attention to everything that he does. Now, if

00:34:16.500 --> 00:34:19.500
and when we start interacting and you come into

00:34:19.500 --> 00:34:22.239
the picture or I come into the picture and we're...

00:34:22.079 --> 00:34:24.239
responding to each other in a different way,

00:34:25.500 --> 00:34:28.719
the brain starts correcting. They go, no, no,

00:34:28.780 --> 00:34:30.280
that's not Michael. Michael wouldn't do that.

00:34:30.400 --> 00:34:32.320
No, that's not Clay. Clay wouldn't do that. Like

00:34:32.320 --> 00:34:34.719
we know each other. This is not what we do with

00:34:34.719 --> 00:34:37.840
around each other. And so it starts like fracturing

00:34:37.840 --> 00:34:40.780
what's going on. And it's fracturing reality,

00:34:41.340 --> 00:34:43.980
not the internal representation. And so the trust

00:34:43.980 --> 00:34:47.300
trap is the very mechanism that allows you to

00:34:47.300 --> 00:34:50.460
get betrayed by yourself. Which is why I say

00:34:50.460 --> 00:34:52.880
there's no such thing as betrayal and self -betrayal.

00:34:53.400 --> 00:34:57.099
And the reason for that is because of this perfect

00:34:57.099 --> 00:34:59.840
storm. So we think people are trustworthy. We

00:34:59.840 --> 00:35:01.800
think that trust is this permanence. We think

00:35:01.800 --> 00:35:05.780
that trust is a trait and it's not. I mean, you're

00:35:05.780 --> 00:35:07.679
free to believe that. I think it's massively

00:35:07.679 --> 00:35:10.619
oversold by Disney and all its romanticized ideas

00:35:10.619 --> 00:35:16.000
of what trust is. And I think that that's a broken

00:35:16.000 --> 00:35:18.929
system. That's a broken definition as a broken

00:35:18.929 --> 00:35:21.789
way of looking at the world. I think when you

00:35:21.789 --> 00:35:24.650
pull it apart and you take it from this stance,

00:35:24.730 --> 00:35:27.110
it actually creates a very freeing way and there

00:35:27.110 --> 00:35:29.690
is no trap because you're paying attention to

00:35:29.690 --> 00:35:33.969
what is happening now, not what you expect or

00:35:33.969 --> 00:35:36.969
anticipate to happen based on a past interpretation

00:35:36.969 --> 00:35:39.429
of someone else when they're not even showing

00:35:39.429 --> 00:35:41.949
up in that way anymore. Like you're holding onto

00:35:41.949 --> 00:35:45.570
a delusion about who someone used to be. versus

00:35:45.570 --> 00:35:48.150
paying attention to who they are now and how

00:35:48.150 --> 00:35:53.449
they're showing up. So the evolution of someone,

00:35:55.489 --> 00:35:58.230
who they were at a certain point and then who

00:35:58.230 --> 00:36:00.829
they are at a present moment can be different.

00:36:01.030 --> 00:36:04.489
And then some people are trusted in the past

00:36:04.489 --> 00:36:09.630
person. I've overstepped slightly because it's

00:36:09.630 --> 00:36:11.250
not even who they are, it's just how they're

00:36:11.250 --> 00:36:12.570
showing up. It's just how they're showing up.

00:36:12.969 --> 00:36:15.000
Right? And how they show up is purely contextual.

00:36:16.000 --> 00:36:18.000
So for example, right now we're having this conversation,

00:36:18.039 --> 00:36:20.519
right? And this conversation would be entirely

00:36:20.519 --> 00:36:23.340
different if we were sitting in a bar. Yeah.

00:36:23.880 --> 00:36:26.719
Right. And not because we're being disingenuous

00:36:26.719 --> 00:36:29.239
to each other, but it's just going to be a different

00:36:29.239 --> 00:36:32.219
conversation because there's a completely different

00:36:32.219 --> 00:36:34.440
context surrounding the conversation. Right.

00:36:34.599 --> 00:36:37.199
Right. And if we were having a conversation in

00:36:37.199 --> 00:36:40.159
a bar and we were the only two people in there,

00:36:40.320 --> 00:36:42.699
the depth and the intimacy of that conversation

00:36:42.699 --> 00:36:46.960
will be this level, right? Really deep. And then

00:36:46.960 --> 00:36:48.900
someone else comes into the bar and they sit

00:36:48.900 --> 00:36:52.360
on the other side of the bar, it would change.

00:36:52.900 --> 00:36:54.760
And the reason it would change because there's

00:36:54.760 --> 00:36:57.019
someone else. So the conversation like, maybe

00:36:57.019 --> 00:37:00.019
we'd speak even softer. Maybe we turn our backs

00:37:00.019 --> 00:37:04.000
slightly away from the person. They're just small,

00:37:04.260 --> 00:37:06.739
subtle things that are going to change the environment.

00:37:06.980 --> 00:37:08.619
They're going to shift things. The background

00:37:08.619 --> 00:37:11.329
music could shift the environment. A song could

00:37:11.329 --> 00:37:13.809
come on that starts playing that triggers a response

00:37:13.809 --> 00:37:16.030
to you in your subconscious because it means

00:37:16.030 --> 00:37:19.949
something either highly fantastic or highly depressing

00:37:19.949 --> 00:37:21.670
that's attached to a memory from a long time

00:37:21.670 --> 00:37:25.369
ago. And then I say something to you that then

00:37:25.369 --> 00:37:27.989
multiplies that and then it just falls apart.

00:37:28.389 --> 00:37:30.449
And so I don't think that that's the case, Michael.

00:37:30.769 --> 00:37:34.710
Just saying that context can change so rapidly

00:37:34.710 --> 00:37:38.719
and people... are so unaware of how much context

00:37:38.719 --> 00:37:43.619
plays a role in everything. So how should people

00:37:43.619 --> 00:37:47.099
or not necessarily should, but what's a way for

00:37:47.099 --> 00:37:51.519
people to look at trust in relationships? So

00:37:51.519 --> 00:37:54.500
that's, I mean, depends on what they want an

00:37:54.500 --> 00:37:56.840
outcome. But for me, the way to look at trust

00:37:56.840 --> 00:37:59.559
in a relationship is to always look for the mutually

00:37:59.559 --> 00:38:05.079
beneficial outcome. And then there would be a

00:38:05.079 --> 00:38:08.800
way of asking yourself, okay, what does this

00:38:08.800 --> 00:38:13.940
person get by me trusting them? What do they

00:38:13.940 --> 00:38:21.000
stand to receive? So there are people that come

00:38:21.000 --> 00:38:23.519
into our lives, right? And, and they kind of

00:38:23.519 --> 00:38:30.699
break trust or, um, how can someone like some,

00:38:30.699 --> 00:38:34.349
some people live in that pattern, like, Or if

00:38:34.349 --> 00:38:36.329
it's a relationship like dating relationships

00:38:36.329 --> 00:38:38.630
and they get the wrong person all the time, how

00:38:38.630 --> 00:38:41.909
can someone break the cycle of trusting the wrong

00:38:41.909 --> 00:38:46.329
person, you know, just over and over again? Well,

00:38:47.250 --> 00:38:51.369
for me, if you're trusting the wrong person over

00:38:51.369 --> 00:38:54.949
and over again, it all starts with the self and

00:38:54.949 --> 00:38:57.989
you're not trusting yourself. Okay. And until

00:38:57.989 --> 00:39:00.210
you can create the mechanisms and leverage and

00:39:00.210 --> 00:39:02.690
tie yourself where you can't trust yourself.

00:39:03.250 --> 00:39:05.630
you will likely continue to repeat that pattern.

00:39:06.309 --> 00:39:07.570
And it comes back to what I was talking about

00:39:07.570 --> 00:39:13.550
before when we're talking about how the host

00:39:13.550 --> 00:39:18.130
who I was talking to before, Mark, we were having

00:39:18.130 --> 00:39:23.050
these conversations and there are always going

00:39:23.050 --> 00:39:27.809
to be signs along the way. And the more you can

00:39:27.809 --> 00:39:30.210
pay attention to your gut and the more you can

00:39:30.210 --> 00:39:32.389
understand what your gut is trying to tell you,

00:39:32.599 --> 00:39:34.960
The more readily armed you are to be able to

00:39:34.960 --> 00:39:37.099
make decisions in the real time that are going

00:39:37.099 --> 00:39:42.940
to navigate you towards the path of... Safety

00:39:42.940 --> 00:39:47.619
is not the right word. I'm going to use the word

00:39:47.619 --> 00:39:49.980
peace, but it's not really the right word. Let's

00:39:49.980 --> 00:39:51.980
just say it's going to keep you on the smooth

00:39:51.980 --> 00:39:54.300
path. You can say straight and narrow, but it's

00:39:54.300 --> 00:39:57.659
not really. Versus on a path that has you continue

00:39:57.659 --> 00:39:59.360
going through these loops. And these loops are

00:39:59.360 --> 00:40:02.690
going to continue to happen. Unless... you can

00:40:02.690 --> 00:40:04.750
get the connection with what these signals mean.

00:40:05.170 --> 00:40:11.510
So a red flag is not a signal of deception. It's

00:40:11.510 --> 00:40:14.170
not a signal of someone being out to screw you

00:40:14.170 --> 00:40:16.590
over. It's not even a signal of something being

00:40:16.590 --> 00:40:21.369
wrong in a person. It is a signal from your brain

00:40:21.369 --> 00:40:26.710
that something is incongruent in what the other

00:40:26.710 --> 00:40:31.260
person is presenting to you. It's a signal for

00:40:31.260 --> 00:40:35.280
you to start paying attention that something

00:40:35.280 --> 00:40:38.780
doesn't add up. What they're saying isn't aligned

00:40:38.780 --> 00:40:41.079
with their intention. What they're saying isn't

00:40:41.079 --> 00:40:43.719
aligned with their behavior. What they're saying

00:40:43.719 --> 00:40:49.699
is not aligned. Now, women especially are socially

00:40:49.699 --> 00:40:52.440
conditioned to override their gut. A lot of people

00:40:52.440 --> 00:40:54.920
are taught that, you know, don't listen to your

00:40:54.920 --> 00:40:58.260
gut. And to be fair, there is a strong case for

00:40:58.260 --> 00:41:00.780
that. with people that have a lot of anxiety,

00:41:01.400 --> 00:41:03.800
their gut will respond and be very prone to thinking

00:41:03.800 --> 00:41:06.940
that everything's going to fall apart. So there

00:41:06.940 --> 00:41:11.960
is that. Additionally, you can train yourself

00:41:11.960 --> 00:41:15.900
to continuously go into processes that are negative,

00:41:16.420 --> 00:41:20.679
which is why studying nonverbals and understanding

00:41:20.679 --> 00:41:22.599
body language and then studying linguistics,

00:41:22.599 --> 00:41:25.300
you could start to detect lies that are happening.

00:41:25.519 --> 00:41:28.039
Now everyone lies, right? I lie, I promise you.

00:41:28.239 --> 00:41:31.059
Every single person lies. I don't really care.

00:41:31.460 --> 00:41:33.099
Anyone says, Oh, I'm honest. I've never lied.

00:41:33.380 --> 00:41:35.659
You can still be an honest person and you can

00:41:35.659 --> 00:41:39.840
tell. What's the term? You can tell white lies.

00:41:40.699 --> 00:41:43.519
I mean, I joke with my kids all the time. And

00:41:43.519 --> 00:41:45.380
so now my kids say, Oh, you're a liar. I'm like,

00:41:45.460 --> 00:41:47.840
yeah, sure. Whatever. Like, uh, they'll come

00:41:47.840 --> 00:41:52.599
in and they'll say, Oh, um, We haven't had any

00:41:52.599 --> 00:41:54.280
ice cream to them. I guess you had you had five

00:41:54.280 --> 00:41:56.159
ice creams or you had six ice creams for breakfast

00:41:56.159 --> 00:41:58.739
this morning No, we didn't know we didn't you're

00:41:58.739 --> 00:42:01.000
lying like I saw you go down the shops and have

00:42:01.000 --> 00:42:07.760
six ice cream so it's am I trying to destroy

00:42:07.760 --> 00:42:11.400
their reality and Make them feel horrible. No

00:42:11.400 --> 00:42:16.360
playing games done in jest So yeah, like everyone

00:42:16.360 --> 00:42:18.400
lies so don't turn around think that you're this

00:42:18.400 --> 00:42:20.159
special human being you've never told a lie in

00:42:20.159 --> 00:42:23.179
your life that at some point you will have told

00:42:23.179 --> 00:42:28.500
a lie. So it's okay. Now, people telling lies

00:42:28.500 --> 00:42:31.519
isn't the problem. Figuring out what they're

00:42:31.519 --> 00:42:36.440
trying to cover up, that's more where it becomes

00:42:36.440 --> 00:42:39.280
useful. What are they protecting? What are they

00:42:39.280 --> 00:42:42.940
guarding? What do they not want me to see? Because

00:42:42.940 --> 00:42:47.119
if someone's lying to their spouse about a surprise,

00:42:47.389 --> 00:42:50.610
birthday present or a surprise anniversary thing

00:42:50.610 --> 00:42:53.449
like that would be considered by most people.

00:42:53.570 --> 00:42:56.250
It's very kind and generous act. Some people

00:42:56.250 --> 00:42:57.730
might not like it. They don't like surprises,

00:42:59.489 --> 00:43:01.989
but it's a useful tool. It's a useful mechanism

00:43:01.989 --> 00:43:05.030
when it starts connecting with body language

00:43:05.030 --> 00:43:07.250
and indicators of high stress and indicators

00:43:07.250 --> 00:43:09.789
of deception. If you just start pulling things

00:43:09.789 --> 00:43:13.130
apart. And again, this comes back into contact.

00:43:14.349 --> 00:43:16.449
But if you don't train yourself in nonverbals,

00:43:17.400 --> 00:43:20.380
you don't pay attention to what's actually happening

00:43:20.380 --> 00:43:25.340
with other people, then your conscious mind isn't

00:43:25.340 --> 00:43:28.380
given the information that it needs to be able

00:43:28.380 --> 00:43:30.820
to connect and register with what the gut is

00:43:30.820 --> 00:43:34.000
telling it. Because it doesn't have that information,

00:43:35.079 --> 00:43:37.880
it will start to shift things in another direction

00:43:37.880 --> 00:43:41.280
and it will start to push things in a way that

00:43:41.280 --> 00:43:44.260
is going to go with the information that it does

00:43:44.260 --> 00:43:46.849
have and the information it does have Is that

00:43:46.849 --> 00:43:49.630
this person is safe? Or is that we're okay? Or

00:43:49.630 --> 00:43:52.849
is that, oh, no, we can ignore our gut because

00:43:52.849 --> 00:43:55.510
we can fix this person, or we can do this with

00:43:55.510 --> 00:43:57.250
this person, or it's not really that much of

00:43:57.250 --> 00:44:09.349
a big deal. That's a lot. That's a lot. So how

00:44:09.349 --> 00:44:14.409
do people begin to trust their gut? What are

00:44:14.409 --> 00:44:18.349
the signs of Being able to trust your gut. If

00:44:18.349 --> 00:44:21.230
there are, there are statistics that say you

00:44:21.230 --> 00:44:28.849
shouldn't training. You're going to try author

00:44:28.849 --> 00:44:32.110
experience. Yep. Absolutely. But there's also

00:44:32.110 --> 00:44:33.750
like, you're going to train it through experience,

00:44:33.769 --> 00:44:36.110
but you're also going to train it through teaching

00:44:36.110 --> 00:44:40.030
yourself what this stuff means. Right. So if

00:44:40.030 --> 00:44:41.670
you're someone that has been conditioned not

00:44:41.670 --> 00:44:46.929
to trust your gut, you will most likely. have

00:44:46.929 --> 00:44:49.389
learned to disconnect from the signals of what

00:44:49.389 --> 00:44:53.010
it's trying to tell you and You most likely have

00:44:53.010 --> 00:44:55.489
learned to play them down like it's not really

00:44:55.489 --> 00:45:02.289
important. So On a path to reconnect with that

00:45:02.289 --> 00:45:07.309
Having the information that says this type of

00:45:07.309 --> 00:45:11.650
behavior indicates high stress and Seeing that

00:45:11.650 --> 00:45:14.070
when it keeps showing up with a person doing

00:45:14.070 --> 00:45:17.489
a certain thing is, okay, I need to pay attention.

00:45:17.510 --> 00:45:20.250
This is a subject that's very sore for them.

00:45:20.250 --> 00:45:22.650
It's very sensitive for them, subject they don't

00:45:22.650 --> 00:45:26.050
want to go into, then you pay attention. And

00:45:26.050 --> 00:45:29.610
the biggest thing for me that I found that was

00:45:29.610 --> 00:45:35.269
highly useful is to just look for behavior and

00:45:35.269 --> 00:45:39.110
verbals in alignment. If a person says they're

00:45:39.110 --> 00:45:41.949
going to do something, they do that thing. Yeah.

00:45:41.969 --> 00:45:43.889
And they might not do it in a timeframe that

00:45:43.889 --> 00:45:46.789
you want, so we're clear. But if they always

00:45:46.789 --> 00:45:50.309
do that thing and you're tracking them doing

00:45:50.309 --> 00:45:54.170
that thing then that becomes reliable It doesn't

00:45:54.170 --> 00:45:58.050
mean that you can trust them all the time forever

00:45:58.050 --> 00:46:02.210
in a permanent state Yeah, but what you can trust

00:46:02.210 --> 00:46:04.289
is when they say they're gonna do something and

00:46:04.289 --> 00:46:06.809
they do that thing You know, okay. No worries.

00:46:06.809 --> 00:46:09.130
You can start to rebuild the mechanism that way

00:46:09.130 --> 00:46:12.329
and what you can trust is when someone says something

00:46:12.329 --> 00:46:14.949
and does something differently You know, okay,

00:46:15.030 --> 00:46:17.829
so there's like a misalignment there. There's

00:46:17.829 --> 00:46:19.929
an incongruence there. So what's really going

00:46:19.929 --> 00:46:23.030
on? And if you get a red flag that starts coming

00:46:23.030 --> 00:46:26.710
up during one of those second sessions, I don't

00:46:26.710 --> 00:46:29.289
know why I said sessions. Use that during that

00:46:29.289 --> 00:46:32.690
experience in that context, then that's the point

00:46:32.690 --> 00:46:38.670
in time to start paying attention. That's it's

00:46:38.670 --> 00:46:43.170
sounds like just the process of. someone honoring

00:46:43.170 --> 00:46:46.690
their word over and over and over again? Not

00:46:46.690 --> 00:46:50.030
even over and over and over again. So it's just

00:46:50.030 --> 00:46:52.349
in the instance, you're taking it step by step,

00:46:52.349 --> 00:46:54.429
right? Because if they're doing it over and over

00:46:54.429 --> 00:46:56.329
and over again, there's different ways that people

00:46:56.329 --> 00:46:59.250
start to learn to build trust. Some people build

00:46:59.250 --> 00:47:01.489
trust almost automatically. They see someone's

00:47:01.489 --> 00:47:03.469
a trustworthy person. They shake their hand like,

00:47:03.610 --> 00:47:06.050
okay, it's a good trustworthy person. And they've

00:47:06.050 --> 00:47:09.909
done that. Say again? You can feel that? Yeah,

00:47:09.909 --> 00:47:15.820
some people do. Absolutely. Some people, they'll

00:47:15.820 --> 00:47:19.639
take like a period of time, like three to six

00:47:19.639 --> 00:47:21.780
weeks. Some take six months, depends on the person.

00:47:22.320 --> 00:47:24.619
Some will need to see someone do things multiple

00:47:24.619 --> 00:47:27.019
times and others will just be watching constantly

00:47:27.019 --> 00:47:30.559
and paying attention. And so it just really depends.

00:47:31.000 --> 00:47:33.559
So there's multiple ways to get to that point.

00:47:33.980 --> 00:47:39.219
For me, it's about always paying attention, not

00:47:39.219 --> 00:47:41.550
because people are out to screw you over. because

00:47:41.550 --> 00:47:43.710
it's about being present in the moment, so I

00:47:43.710 --> 00:47:45.769
don't get caught in the trap that my brain will

00:47:45.769 --> 00:47:48.809
naturally default to, because it will. If you

00:47:48.809 --> 00:47:50.869
stop paying attention, your brain will revert

00:47:50.869 --> 00:47:54.369
back to that way, because it doesn't chew as

00:47:54.369 --> 00:47:57.170
much energy. And if it doesn't chew as much energy,

00:47:57.309 --> 00:47:59.090
then I'm not going to be as exhausted, which

00:47:59.090 --> 00:48:00.909
means I'm going to be able to do energy for other

00:48:00.909 --> 00:48:03.090
things that are more important. And the more

00:48:03.090 --> 00:48:07.030
important things for the brain is sex and food.

00:48:08.940 --> 00:48:11.780
From a survival standpoint, we're here to procreate,

00:48:11.840 --> 00:48:13.400
so it's going to be looking for all the other

00:48:13.400 --> 00:48:14.659
important things and it's going to be wanting

00:48:14.659 --> 00:48:18.400
to eat food. That's probably where you're hungry

00:48:18.400 --> 00:48:25.880
after procreation. I want to talk about sabotaging

00:48:25.880 --> 00:48:30.239
amongst high performers and just entrepreneurs.

00:48:32.440 --> 00:48:36.760
For some cases, why do high achievers people

00:48:36.760 --> 00:48:41.659
who should know better, sabotage their own success.

00:48:43.980 --> 00:48:46.099
So typically speaking, I call it smart people

00:48:46.099 --> 00:48:50.980
syndrome. Smart people think that they can rationalize

00:48:50.980 --> 00:48:53.000
and logic their way out of a lot of problems.

00:48:53.380 --> 00:48:57.780
But most people, I'm gonna really go out on a

00:48:57.780 --> 00:49:02.039
limb here and say all of the most human problems

00:49:02.039 --> 00:49:09.969
are emotional. Because with a lack of an ability

00:49:09.969 --> 00:49:12.510
to regulate emotions, logic's going to get thrown

00:49:12.510 --> 00:49:18.409
out the window. With trying to control your subconscious

00:49:18.409 --> 00:49:21.210
by brute force with your conscious mind, you

00:49:21.210 --> 00:49:24.309
can only do it so long. Because your conscious,

00:49:24.530 --> 00:49:26.449
unconscious and subconscious, non -conscious,

00:49:26.710 --> 00:49:28.190
other than conscious, whatever you want to call

00:49:28.190 --> 00:49:32.489
it, is running 24 -7 and it's chewing up the

00:49:32.489 --> 00:49:35.280
majority of the power. And for you to try and

00:49:35.280 --> 00:49:36.860
consciously imagine, like try and think about

00:49:36.860 --> 00:49:40.440
this for a second. We all had to learn how to

00:49:40.440 --> 00:49:44.500
walk. Now we do it unconsciously. But there was

00:49:44.500 --> 00:49:48.500
one point where we had to focus on 147 individual

00:49:48.500 --> 00:49:52.360
muscles to make it work. There was a point where

00:49:52.360 --> 00:49:54.880
we had to focus and concentrate on how to learn

00:49:54.880 --> 00:49:58.159
how to poop and pee. But it's all unconscious.

00:49:58.940 --> 00:50:02.019
So imagine if you had to focus on all of those

00:50:02.019 --> 00:50:06.579
things consciously still. You're not going to

00:50:06.579 --> 00:50:10.199
get anything done, which is why the natural heuristic

00:50:10.199 --> 00:50:12.079
of the brain is to learn something as fast as

00:50:12.079 --> 00:50:13.619
it can and turn it into an automatic pattern.

00:50:14.320 --> 00:50:18.139
I can't imagine, yeah. Right. So that's a very

00:50:18.139 --> 00:50:20.639
real example of these mechanisms that come into

00:50:20.639 --> 00:50:27.739
place. Imagine if you didn't have the capacity

00:50:27.739 --> 00:50:30.659
to remember how to open up a door. Let's say

00:50:30.659 --> 00:50:34.599
the door handle was different. Right. So you've

00:50:34.599 --> 00:50:36.059
got a round door knob, then you've got the one

00:50:36.059 --> 00:50:38.440
that goes to the side that you grab. Then you've

00:50:38.440 --> 00:50:41.039
got some doors that slide, some doors that push,

00:50:41.199 --> 00:50:44.039
some doors that pull. Imagine if you had to learn

00:50:44.039 --> 00:50:46.739
every single time you went through a door. You

00:50:46.739 --> 00:50:48.480
didn't have the ability to go, oh, it's a door.

00:50:48.559 --> 00:50:50.860
It's going to move some way like this. You had

00:50:50.860 --> 00:50:53.500
to consciously think about it every single time.

00:50:54.920 --> 00:50:57.820
I can't even think about that. That would be

00:50:57.820 --> 00:51:01.429
brutal, right? It would be brutal. And then I

00:51:01.429 --> 00:51:04.050
can't even imagine not having the ability to

00:51:04.050 --> 00:51:06.510
just automatically be able to open the door.

00:51:06.989 --> 00:51:12.090
Right. So there's, I mean, that's a very, very

00:51:12.090 --> 00:51:16.230
extreme example. Obviously the point I'm making

00:51:16.230 --> 00:51:19.869
is trying to track all that consciously. You

00:51:19.869 --> 00:51:21.650
don't need to, and your subconscious takes care

00:51:21.650 --> 00:51:24.869
of all that for you and your subconscious is

00:51:24.869 --> 00:51:29.250
an emotional beast. It runs off emotion. It doesn't

00:51:29.250 --> 00:51:33.519
run off logic. And so people fall into these

00:51:33.519 --> 00:51:35.659
traps because they think, oh yeah, I understand

00:51:35.659 --> 00:51:38.800
this. So therefore it's done, but they never

00:51:38.800 --> 00:51:41.500
deal with the emotional side of things. And because

00:51:41.500 --> 00:51:43.260
they don't deal with the emotional side of things,

00:51:43.420 --> 00:51:44.960
the loop keeps coming back. And like, I don't

00:51:44.960 --> 00:51:46.500
understand, like I worked through this inside

00:51:46.500 --> 00:51:48.940
my head, it makes sense to me. Right, but you

00:51:48.940 --> 00:51:51.719
didn't go through and figure out what was underneath

00:51:51.719 --> 00:51:56.099
and what was the driving factor. So there's a...

00:51:56.300 --> 00:51:59.000
a process that I speak to people about from time

00:51:59.000 --> 00:52:01.860
to time, which I think is kind of funny. And

00:52:01.860 --> 00:52:04.639
there was a gentleman who got pushed into my

00:52:04.639 --> 00:52:09.840
circle by his wife and he was a smoker. And she

00:52:09.840 --> 00:52:13.960
was very much encouraging him to come and quit

00:52:13.960 --> 00:52:17.519
smoking. And he didn't really want to. And he

00:52:17.519 --> 00:52:19.360
eventually rocked up this session, which he booked

00:52:19.360 --> 00:52:21.699
a few times and then he canceled and canceled

00:52:21.699 --> 00:52:26.300
and canceled and ended up coming. And we were

00:52:26.300 --> 00:52:29.960
chatting for maybe 10 minutes before it came

00:52:29.960 --> 00:52:33.280
out that, and I got him to admit that he actually

00:52:33.280 --> 00:52:36.719
didn't want to stop smoking. And I said, okay,

00:52:36.840 --> 00:52:38.380
so how about we break this down? So we started

00:52:38.380 --> 00:52:43.019
pulling it apart. And it turns out that while

00:52:43.019 --> 00:52:45.920
consciously he did want to stop smoking, he couldn't,

00:52:45.940 --> 00:52:48.139
and he was compelled to keep smoking because

00:52:48.139 --> 00:52:52.159
of his need for freedom. His needs for freedom?

00:52:52.940 --> 00:52:55.929
Everyone else at work. got to take smoke breaks,

00:52:56.050 --> 00:52:57.730
and he had to continue working because he wasn't

00:52:57.730 --> 00:53:02.070
smoking. Because, wow, that's wild. Right? When

00:53:02.070 --> 00:53:05.869
he got home from work, and he wanted just 30

00:53:05.869 --> 00:53:08.829
minutes to decompress, as soon as he stepped

00:53:08.829 --> 00:53:12.250
in through the door, everyone would be on him,

00:53:12.289 --> 00:53:15.449
and he didn't get any space. But his kids hated

00:53:15.449 --> 00:53:17.190
the fact that he smoked, and so did his wife.

00:53:17.230 --> 00:53:18.650
So as soon as he'd have a cigarette, they'd leave

00:53:18.650 --> 00:53:20.530
him alone. He'd go stand outside with his cigarette.

00:53:21.809 --> 00:53:26.289
So there was an subconscious motive there, that

00:53:26.289 --> 00:53:28.989
cigarettes equal freedom, cigarettes equal space,

00:53:29.550 --> 00:53:31.829
because I get space to myself. And it was hugely

00:53:31.829 --> 00:53:33.329
important. It's usually important for everyone.

00:53:33.429 --> 00:53:36.809
It's just the amount that varies. And so I said,

00:53:37.030 --> 00:53:41.449
okay, well, what if we bring your wife in and

00:53:41.449 --> 00:53:43.289
we create an agreement and you speak to your

00:53:43.289 --> 00:53:45.510
boss and you create an agreement that you get

00:53:45.510 --> 00:53:47.570
these two periods that everyone else takes risk,

00:53:47.630 --> 00:53:50.960
right? You get those to just go sit. Stand in

00:53:50.960 --> 00:53:53.480
Sun sit and chill with a bottle of water, whatever

00:53:53.480 --> 00:53:57.440
you want to do Like would that satisfy and give

00:53:57.440 --> 00:54:01.340
you the same thing. So yeah, yeah So we brought

00:54:01.340 --> 00:54:04.380
in his wife we explained situations and she her

00:54:04.380 --> 00:54:07.219
first reaction was extremely negative I don't

00:54:07.219 --> 00:54:09.320
use that word very often, but it was extremely

00:54:09.320 --> 00:54:11.920
negative and she said well, this is just stupid

00:54:11.920 --> 00:54:14.380
He shouldn't have to do that. Like I'm his wife

00:54:14.380 --> 00:54:17.820
lady You're the one that pushed him to come here.

00:54:18.019 --> 00:54:20.789
He didn't want to come Second of all, you're

00:54:20.789 --> 00:54:23.050
now getting a viable solution where he's going

00:54:23.050 --> 00:54:25.369
to stop smoking and he's not going to smell.

00:54:25.510 --> 00:54:27.429
He's not going to be doing this. You told me

00:54:27.429 --> 00:54:29.090
the whole reason you want to stop smoking was

00:54:29.090 --> 00:54:31.730
because of potential lung cancer. So that's going

00:54:31.730 --> 00:54:33.309
to go out the window. So you're getting what

00:54:33.309 --> 00:54:35.670
you want. What is the problem? What's the problem?

00:54:35.889 --> 00:54:38.809
Yeah. And she said, well, if you really have

00:54:38.809 --> 00:54:40.630
another problem, then maybe you should be coming

00:54:40.630 --> 00:54:43.070
in to get some work done because he is willing

00:54:43.070 --> 00:54:47.269
to go down this path. So. I would suggest that

00:54:47.269 --> 00:54:48.809
you make peace with it because it's definitely

00:54:48.809 --> 00:54:51.289
a viable option. And if you don't want to make

00:54:51.289 --> 00:54:54.170
peace with this and you're expecting more, then

00:54:54.170 --> 00:54:58.730
you're not really playing fair in my mind. Like

00:54:58.730 --> 00:55:00.570
he is willing to come to the table and do the

00:55:00.570 --> 00:55:03.110
thing you asked for. And now you're saying you

00:55:03.110 --> 00:55:05.070
want more than this and what he wants is not

00:55:05.070 --> 00:55:08.090
fair. Like where's the limit here? Yeah. Anyway,

00:55:08.230 --> 00:55:11.190
she eventually came around. We did the session.

00:55:11.610 --> 00:55:13.969
His boss had agreed. Everything was going great

00:55:13.969 --> 00:55:18.199
for six months. And then all the boundaries started

00:55:18.199 --> 00:55:21.559
to creep. The boss started to ask him to come

00:55:21.559 --> 00:55:24.400
back inside because he wasn't smoking. The wife

00:55:24.400 --> 00:55:26.139
and the kids started to go out and start bugging

00:55:26.139 --> 00:55:28.380
him during that 30 minutes when he was just chilling

00:55:28.380 --> 00:55:31.840
by himself. And lo and behold, within a month,

00:55:31.860 --> 00:55:35.860
he was smoking again. And she came back to me

00:55:35.860 --> 00:55:37.219
and said, look, I want my money back because

00:55:37.219 --> 00:55:39.780
it didn't work. And I could stand around and

00:55:39.780 --> 00:55:41.360
said, yep, that's fair enough. Can I ask you

00:55:41.360 --> 00:55:44.139
a question? She said, did you maintain the boundaries

00:55:44.139 --> 00:55:46.960
that you set? And she said, what? I said, did

00:55:46.960 --> 00:55:48.940
you maintain the balance? Oh, well, yeah. After

00:55:48.940 --> 00:55:50.380
six months, it shouldn't be a problem. I said,

00:55:50.519 --> 00:55:53.239
no, I'm not funding you. You set up a system.

00:55:53.860 --> 00:55:56.360
You broke the system. The system was there to

00:55:56.360 --> 00:55:59.579
give him this program and you broke it. So he's

00:55:59.579 --> 00:56:02.559
gone back to what he knows works. Sorry. That's

00:56:02.559 --> 00:56:04.079
not on me. That's on you. Like, I'm not going

00:56:04.079 --> 00:56:05.960
to be held responsible for that. You need to

00:56:05.960 --> 00:56:09.780
start owning like what you're doing. Anyway,

00:56:10.719 --> 00:56:14.320
when she kind of got that slap in the face, she

00:56:14.320 --> 00:56:17.599
then reverted. back to the old ways and he managed

00:56:17.599 --> 00:56:19.679
to start getting back off the cigarettes again.

00:56:21.219 --> 00:56:22.980
But the whole point of that is to demonstrate

00:56:22.980 --> 00:56:25.639
like the subconscious is like this massive driver.

00:56:26.239 --> 00:56:28.679
And it will push for things. And you can try

00:56:28.679 --> 00:56:30.980
and consciously reason with it as much as you

00:56:30.980 --> 00:56:35.219
want. But every second, so right now, like you're

00:56:35.219 --> 00:56:37.179
listening to me, right? Hopefully, maybe not.

00:56:37.480 --> 00:56:39.760
But at the same point, you're not paying attention,

00:56:40.039 --> 00:56:41.900
right? You're not paying attention to the feeling

00:56:41.900 --> 00:56:45.329
of your butt resting on that chair. But you are

00:56:45.329 --> 00:56:47.489
now. It wasn't until you said something. Right.

00:56:48.250 --> 00:56:50.769
But subconsciously, I couldn't have put your

00:56:50.769 --> 00:56:53.170
attention there if that feeling didn't already

00:56:53.170 --> 00:56:57.690
exist there. Understood. Right. So you went from

00:56:57.690 --> 00:56:59.329
paying attention to my voice to paying attention

00:56:59.329 --> 00:57:01.050
to your butt, and you couldn't pay attention

00:57:01.050 --> 00:57:02.929
to my voice while you were paying attention to

00:57:02.929 --> 00:57:06.150
your butt. So just think about that for a second

00:57:06.150 --> 00:57:09.130
when you start thinking of the overwhelming capacity

00:57:09.130 --> 00:57:12.769
of the conscious mind to not be able to manipulate

00:57:12.769 --> 00:57:16.239
the subconscious. And that is exactly why smart

00:57:16.239 --> 00:57:19.179
people get stuck. Because they think that this

00:57:19.179 --> 00:57:21.860
small fraction of a window into our consciousness,

00:57:22.019 --> 00:57:25.280
that is our conscious mind, can overpower something

00:57:25.280 --> 00:57:28.639
that is immensely more powerful, that is relentless,

00:57:28.760 --> 00:57:31.260
that has a battery that never turns off and is

00:57:31.260 --> 00:57:35.380
always on and functioning and running. Now you

00:57:35.380 --> 00:57:38.639
got me going back and forth, feeling the feeling

00:57:38.639 --> 00:57:40.360
and listening to you. I'm like, okay, where am

00:57:40.360 --> 00:57:47.139
I? Where am I now? Man, we could talk about so

00:57:47.139 --> 00:57:50.019
much, but one of the things I do want to know

00:57:50.019 --> 00:57:56.880
is you talk about, you know, you're straight,

00:57:56.960 --> 00:58:02.159
straight, no chaser, no BS. One of the things

00:58:02.159 --> 00:58:05.599
I want to address is what's the biggest BS advice

00:58:05.599 --> 00:58:09.940
that's out there about healing and forgiveness?

00:58:11.719 --> 00:58:15.159
The biggest BS advice that's out there. Yeah.

00:58:15.440 --> 00:58:22.280
Well, that's a big call. So I didn't know that

00:58:22.280 --> 00:58:25.679
it's advice. It's definitely a common misconception

00:58:25.679 --> 00:58:28.920
that is forgiveness is about the other person.

00:58:31.519 --> 00:58:33.539
Okay. I was, I was kind of thinking you're going

00:58:33.539 --> 00:58:42.710
to say that, um, please expound. A lot of people

00:58:42.710 --> 00:58:46.230
think that forgiveness comes from you forgiving

00:58:46.230 --> 00:58:49.329
this other person for what they did to you and

00:58:49.329 --> 00:58:56.329
you forgiving them because it's going to harden

00:58:56.329 --> 00:59:02.730
them, so to speak. That's neither here nor there.

00:59:03.389 --> 00:59:06.210
Forgiveness comes for you healing and moving

00:59:06.210 --> 00:59:09.190
on. Forgiveness, from what a lot of people teach,

00:59:09.329 --> 00:59:13.199
talks about You're giving yourself space to move

00:59:13.199 --> 00:59:15.199
forward again. It doesn't mean you're giving

00:59:15.199 --> 00:59:17.179
them permission to do it again. And these are

00:59:17.179 --> 00:59:19.559
all wonderful things, but they're all kind of

00:59:19.559 --> 00:59:24.539
bullshit. Forgiveness really comes down to it.

00:59:24.699 --> 00:59:28.360
There's forgiving the past version yourself that

00:59:28.360 --> 00:59:30.679
led to the current situation that you're in today.

00:59:32.500 --> 00:59:36.260
Because if you can never forgive yourself, then

00:59:36.260 --> 00:59:37.679
you're never really going to be able to move

00:59:37.679 --> 00:59:41.519
forward past something anyway. Because you're

00:59:41.519 --> 00:59:43.099
still gonna be trapped in these loops. This is

00:59:43.099 --> 00:59:46.539
why it's so click All roads lead to Rome, right?

00:59:47.019 --> 00:59:50.559
It's the same process as self -betrayal, right?

00:59:51.159 --> 00:59:53.300
No one else betrayed. I mean there are people

00:59:53.300 --> 00:59:55.960
right you get sociopaths psychopaths narcissists

00:59:55.960 --> 01:00:01.619
that Aren't necessarily intent on screwing you

01:00:01.619 --> 01:00:03.340
over they don't even wake up in the day going,

01:00:03.460 --> 01:00:04.940
you know what today I'm gonna screw this person

01:00:04.940 --> 01:00:09.070
over They just go today. I'm gonna get me what's

01:00:09.070 --> 01:00:12.150
mine and I don't care who gets in the way Hmm,

01:00:12.469 --> 01:00:14.530
so they're not even necessarily out to screw

01:00:14.530 --> 01:00:18.150
you over. They just don't care that they do Now

01:00:18.150 --> 01:00:19.849
there can be some bench people like what they

01:00:19.849 --> 01:00:22.110
say the hell happened a few like a woman's gone

01:00:22.110 --> 01:00:25.929
Yeah, so in that case that human being might

01:00:25.929 --> 01:00:28.030
be out to get revenge or seek revenge or exact

01:00:28.030 --> 01:00:33.590
prevention fair enough For the most part I argue,

01:00:34.010 --> 01:00:37.050
I'm making this number up, but I say over 95,

01:00:37.110 --> 01:00:39.250
96 % of people that you ever come across in your

01:00:39.250 --> 01:00:42.570
entire life, don't even think about you when

01:00:42.570 --> 01:00:44.869
you're out of the room, right? You don't take

01:00:44.869 --> 01:00:47.389
up real estate inside their brain. So the fact

01:00:47.389 --> 01:00:49.010
that you're thinking that, oh, they got to screw

01:00:49.010 --> 01:00:52.150
me over, it's just misguided. They're thinking

01:00:52.150 --> 01:00:53.989
about what they can do for themselves and how

01:00:53.989 --> 01:00:57.349
they can get themselves. And by you not paying

01:00:57.349 --> 01:00:59.989
attention to these signals of how they're thinking

01:00:59.989 --> 01:01:03.929
purely in it for themselves and while this is

01:01:03.929 --> 01:01:06.610
distinct while they're thinking about what's

01:01:06.610 --> 01:01:11.050
in for themselves. There's no alignment with

01:01:11.050 --> 01:01:14.389
you moving in the same direction and you're not

01:01:14.389 --> 01:01:17.150
paying attention. You then walk down the road

01:01:17.150 --> 01:01:20.210
and before you know it, you're both saying I

01:01:20.210 --> 01:01:22.989
do but you're saying I do to two very different

01:01:22.989 --> 01:01:25.150
things into very different versions of reality

01:01:25.150 --> 01:01:29.179
and next minute. He or she is a gold digger.

01:01:29.179 --> 01:01:32.000
They've left you in a big scam and now you screwed

01:01:32.000 --> 01:01:33.760
and you don't even know what happened You couldn't

01:01:33.760 --> 01:01:38.019
but you could predict it and you feel ashamed

01:01:38.019 --> 01:01:40.619
and the reason you feel ashamed is because you

01:01:40.619 --> 01:01:43.860
saw these red flags happening and you saw them

01:01:43.860 --> 01:01:47.139
happening real time and you ignored them and

01:01:47.139 --> 01:01:49.280
So people think well, I need to forgive that

01:01:49.280 --> 01:01:53.000
person for what they did to me buddy. No, you

01:01:53.000 --> 01:01:57.420
need to forgive yourself because Until you do

01:01:57.420 --> 01:02:00.199
forgive yourself, you'll never make peace with

01:02:00.199 --> 01:02:02.320
who you are and where you're supposed to be in

01:02:02.320 --> 01:02:08.739
life. I agree. I agree. What do you hope people

01:02:08.739 --> 01:02:11.980
will do differently or, yeah, just do differently

01:02:11.980 --> 01:02:16.019
after picking up your book and reading it or

01:02:16.019 --> 01:02:21.260
listening to you speak? So one of the things

01:02:21.260 --> 01:02:25.199
that I wrote the book for, I'd say the main concept

01:02:25.199 --> 01:02:31.179
I wrote it for was to give people the ability

01:02:31.179 --> 01:02:35.780
to learn to look at trust differently, not with

01:02:35.780 --> 01:02:39.719
other people, but with themselves and to give

01:02:39.719 --> 01:02:44.860
them a sense and a pathway back to trusting themselves.

01:02:46.360 --> 01:02:48.739
So it allows them to go back and recalibrate

01:02:48.739 --> 01:02:52.099
if they would choose to every situation in their

01:02:52.099 --> 01:02:55.340
life where they ended up in a position that they

01:02:55.340 --> 01:02:58.960
didn't want to be. And it allows them to reassess

01:02:58.960 --> 01:03:01.239
and track back like, oh my God, all those signals

01:03:01.239 --> 01:03:03.659
were there. I just wasn't paying attention. And

01:03:03.659 --> 01:03:06.179
if you go back and you replay those steps enough,

01:03:07.619 --> 01:03:10.340
just by doing that, it'll start to rekindle and

01:03:10.340 --> 01:03:14.519
re -spark the element of trust. And then as you

01:03:14.519 --> 01:03:18.420
start using it moving forward, it will start

01:03:18.420 --> 01:03:21.460
to increase. I got a message from a friend of

01:03:21.460 --> 01:03:26.059
mine. And a former client of mine, we haven't

01:03:26.059 --> 01:03:27.800
spoken in a few years, but she found out I wrote

01:03:27.800 --> 01:03:29.440
a book. So she's like, I'm going to read it.

01:03:30.860 --> 01:03:33.559
She is usually a very quick reader. So I was

01:03:33.559 --> 01:03:36.059
anticipating a turnaround of like 24 hours because

01:03:36.059 --> 01:03:38.599
she's usually tears through them. She replied

01:03:38.599 --> 01:03:41.059
to me six weeks after she bought the book. She's

01:03:41.059 --> 01:03:43.579
like, I'm sorry it took so long, but I took a

01:03:43.579 --> 01:03:45.960
lot of notes. And for me, that was like a huge

01:03:45.960 --> 01:03:48.659
compliment. I said, okay. She goes, yep. She

01:03:48.659 --> 01:03:51.719
goes, you had everything referenced. right in

01:03:51.719 --> 01:03:55.199
a very powerful way. And it was so confronting,

01:03:55.780 --> 01:03:57.940
I had to put it down multiple times to sit with

01:03:57.940 --> 01:04:02.079
the information that came inside. Okay, that's

01:04:02.079 --> 01:04:04.800
cool. But the biggest thing I got back was the

01:04:04.800 --> 01:04:06.579
fact that I could learn to trust myself again.

01:04:07.519 --> 01:04:10.300
And the sense of freedom that came for that,

01:04:10.380 --> 01:04:12.000
because it meant that I could make decisions.

01:04:12.460 --> 01:04:14.480
And I can make decisions with confidence that

01:04:14.480 --> 01:04:16.539
would move in any direction that I want to go.

01:04:17.699 --> 01:04:20.340
That's kind of the ultimate name. to be able

01:04:20.340 --> 01:04:22.719
to give people back this sense of freedom where

01:04:22.719 --> 01:04:25.320
they take the agency for their own lives again

01:04:25.320 --> 01:04:28.019
instead of being a victim from other people.

01:04:28.619 --> 01:04:32.199
And even if it's unknowing, the book is designed

01:04:32.199 --> 01:04:37.719
in a way to root that out of you and shove it

01:04:37.719 --> 01:04:40.300
back in your face and go, this is the author

01:04:40.300 --> 01:04:42.960
of all your pain and the author of all the pain

01:04:42.960 --> 01:04:49.570
is the person you see in the mirror. Real quick.

01:04:49.949 --> 01:04:53.670
I have I was going to do a mirror mirror exercise,

01:04:53.670 --> 01:04:56.349
but there's a couple of things that you that

01:04:56.349 --> 01:05:01.190
you posted and I'm just going to go through one

01:05:01.190 --> 01:05:04.030
of them. Okay. It was a mirror mirror exercise

01:05:04.030 --> 01:05:05.389
and I just want to see what you have to say about

01:05:05.389 --> 01:05:10.250
that. One in the mirror mirror. You said you

01:05:10.250 --> 01:05:13.989
weren't fooled. You needed to lie more than the

01:05:13.989 --> 01:05:21.159
truth. What do you say to that? So the lie more

01:05:21.159 --> 01:05:25.079
than the truth comes on as this process where

01:05:25.079 --> 01:05:29.800
You're holding on to the lie or this deception

01:05:29.800 --> 01:05:32.800
that you've created in yourself like this is

01:05:32.800 --> 01:05:36.619
what the relationship is like and so I'm gonna

01:05:36.619 --> 01:05:40.119
hold on to this this image this creation this

01:05:40.119 --> 01:05:42.599
construction that I've created inside my head

01:05:42.599 --> 01:05:46.239
of This relationship to be working or to be perfect

01:05:46.239 --> 01:05:49.500
or to be what I wanted because that's so much

01:05:49.500 --> 01:05:51.739
easier than facing the cognitive dissonance of

01:05:51.739 --> 01:05:53.780
getting it wrong about someone and having to

01:05:53.780 --> 01:05:56.480
admit that you got it wrong. A lot of people

01:05:56.480 --> 01:05:59.340
think that, okay, getting it wrong is like a

01:05:59.340 --> 01:06:01.500
huge failure on my part and that makes me a lesser

01:06:01.500 --> 01:06:05.139
human being. I'm like, fail, man. Fail as fast

01:06:05.139 --> 01:06:09.079
as you can and fail forwards. Because the faster

01:06:09.079 --> 01:06:11.019
you crash and burn, the faster you can rebuild

01:06:11.019 --> 01:06:16.989
and get up and go again. So, like, don't... Lean

01:06:16.989 --> 01:06:21.030
into failure, but embrace it. And if it shows

01:06:21.030 --> 01:06:23.110
up, go, okay, cool. We screwed that up. Let's

01:06:23.110 --> 01:06:26.050
do the next thing and just jump on. If you want

01:06:26.050 --> 01:06:28.070
to get bogged down by it and make it, make it,

01:06:28.150 --> 01:06:30.329
and this is worth it. See people fall into another

01:06:30.329 --> 01:06:35.050
trap. They identify with failures. Like people,

01:06:35.469 --> 01:06:38.829
people are so crazy sometimes, man. They identify

01:06:38.829 --> 01:06:41.889
with their failures, right? Like, Oh, I am the

01:06:41.889 --> 01:06:46.070
loser, but I suck at this. I'm such a piece of

01:06:46.070 --> 01:06:47.739
shit. All right, sorry if I'm not allowed to

01:06:47.739 --> 01:06:52.320
swear, I apologize. You're good. And then they

01:06:52.320 --> 01:06:55.219
had these huge wins and they're like, oh yeah,

01:06:55.300 --> 01:06:58.000
the circumstances allowed me to do that. What?

01:06:58.340 --> 01:07:02.260
Are you nuts? Like, you identify yourself as

01:07:02.260 --> 01:07:05.659
being this hunk of crap, but then when the good

01:07:05.659 --> 01:07:07.639
things happens, like, oh no, that happened to

01:07:07.639 --> 01:07:10.260
someone else. Like one of the things I love to

01:07:10.260 --> 01:07:14.440
teach people is, okay, every single thing that

01:07:14.440 --> 01:07:17.639
happens in your life that's negative, make it

01:07:17.639 --> 01:07:22.340
external, make it impermanent, and make it, there's

01:07:22.340 --> 01:07:24.039
three things that are going to be so annoying

01:07:24.039 --> 01:07:26.719
now when the third one is coming. So basically

01:07:26.719 --> 01:07:33.099
it happened due to a circumstance. It's not a

01:07:33.099 --> 01:07:36.420
characteristic or a trait that you have, right?

01:07:37.139 --> 01:07:39.619
And the third one is right on the tip of my tongue.

01:07:39.639 --> 01:07:41.440
This is going to frustrate the living hell out

01:07:41.440 --> 01:07:44.280
of me right now. And all, so I'm just going to

01:07:44.280 --> 01:07:45.659
go to the other side. So the positive things,

01:07:45.760 --> 01:07:48.340
You want to make it permanent. So you make it,

01:07:48.380 --> 01:07:50.239
oh, yeah, that happens to me all the time because

01:07:50.239 --> 01:07:53.960
I am this kind of person. Right. And because

01:07:53.960 --> 01:07:56.539
I'm this kind of person, I do these things. It's

01:07:56.539 --> 01:07:59.400
just who I am. So you're making it permanent.

01:07:59.639 --> 01:08:02.139
You're making it pervasive. It doesn't matter

01:08:02.139 --> 01:08:04.539
that it happened here. It can happen in any area

01:08:04.539 --> 01:08:07.340
of my life. This is just how I rock up. So you

01:08:07.340 --> 01:08:10.420
start to make your wins more about you. You make

01:08:10.420 --> 01:08:13.059
your failures more about circumstances. And you

01:08:13.059 --> 01:08:15.940
can say it's kind of egotistical. In a sense,

01:08:17.239 --> 01:08:20.000
I'm not going to argue that. At the same time,

01:08:20.659 --> 01:08:24.300
I think a lot of people could use something like

01:08:24.300 --> 01:08:26.819
this because there are a lot of people that seem

01:08:26.819 --> 01:08:31.520
to just take any chance they get to demean themselves

01:08:31.520 --> 01:08:33.439
and like berate themselves, to take them down

01:08:33.439 --> 01:08:37.039
a peg. And I think you could really use a different

01:08:37.039 --> 01:08:39.380
way of doing it. You could use a way that's hyper

01:08:39.380 --> 01:08:41.340
supportive of yourself and you could really get

01:08:41.340 --> 01:08:48.779
great results. Clay, man, we can go another hour.

01:08:50.220 --> 01:08:53.479
You have so much to share, and man, I had even

01:08:53.479 --> 01:08:58.760
more lined up. But I just want to say thank you,

01:08:58.779 --> 01:09:02.239
man, because what you've been through, what you've

01:09:02.239 --> 01:09:04.340
experienced, and the knowledge that you bring

01:09:04.340 --> 01:09:09.840
is like treasure. So thank you for bringing the

01:09:09.840 --> 01:09:14.869
knowledge. Thank you for just having this gift

01:09:14.869 --> 01:09:19.149
of just understanding you, of being able to trust

01:09:19.149 --> 01:09:21.869
yourself again, learn how to break through that

01:09:21.869 --> 01:09:27.869
and really giving that gift to the world. As

01:09:27.869 --> 01:09:31.369
your last words on this podcast, something from

01:09:31.369 --> 01:09:35.970
your heart, what would you like to say? So I

01:09:35.970 --> 01:09:40.289
had a realization fairly recently in the last

01:09:40.289 --> 01:09:43.739
12 to 18 months. So it's fairly recent. in the

01:09:43.739 --> 01:09:47.659
scope of 40 years. And that was very simple.

01:09:48.640 --> 01:09:51.380
It very much fits me. So I went into self -development

01:09:51.380 --> 01:09:54.359
because I want to learn how to make people do

01:09:54.359 --> 01:09:56.460
what I said. Like I never go into coaching. I

01:09:56.460 --> 01:09:59.000
didn't even want to be a coach. I want to learn

01:09:59.000 --> 01:10:01.720
how to negotiate better, how to get raises, how

01:10:01.720 --> 01:10:04.000
to get better positions. Like it was all about

01:10:04.000 --> 01:10:07.739
me. And then it kind of stemmed from there. And

01:10:07.739 --> 01:10:13.159
the drive for that was this Emptiness isn't the

01:10:13.159 --> 01:10:15.659
right word, but it's going to do for now. Like

01:10:15.659 --> 01:10:17.920
I had something wrong with me. Like I had this

01:10:17.920 --> 01:10:23.680
emptiness. I had this imperfection and I was

01:10:23.680 --> 01:10:27.340
trying to fix it. And the realization I had around

01:10:27.340 --> 01:10:30.079
about 18 months ago is that there's nothing to

01:10:30.079 --> 01:10:34.380
fix and there is no imperfection. And if you

01:10:34.380 --> 01:10:39.380
start from the premise that you're trying to

01:10:39.380 --> 01:10:42.180
fix an imperfection, you're trying to fix a flaw,

01:10:43.520 --> 01:10:49.840
then you'll never fix it. Because if it's already

01:10:49.840 --> 01:10:53.699
flawed, how can a flaw fix itself? Like even

01:10:53.699 --> 01:10:56.300
that premises self is flawed, because you're

01:10:56.300 --> 01:10:57.640
never going to be able to find the flaw because

01:10:57.640 --> 01:11:00.880
you're already flawed. So it's never ending loop.

01:11:03.899 --> 01:11:07.199
So what ended up coming out of that was something

01:11:07.199 --> 01:11:10.529
amazing. And that was that we're all born perfect,

01:11:11.229 --> 01:11:14.750
and we get all this crap laid onto us. And so

01:11:14.750 --> 01:11:20.689
you don't need to work to feel a whole. You don't

01:11:20.689 --> 01:11:24.350
even need to work. You just need to realize that

01:11:24.350 --> 01:11:26.270
you've had a lot of stuff put on you in your

01:11:26.270 --> 01:11:29.689
life that isn't yours, that you don't need to

01:11:29.689 --> 01:11:35.460
carry, and isn't your burden anymore. It becomes

01:11:35.460 --> 01:11:38.079
a really powerful thing when you start to connect

01:11:38.079 --> 01:11:41.399
with the fact that you're already whole, that

01:11:41.399 --> 01:11:45.300
you're already complete. And when you can connect

01:11:45.300 --> 01:11:49.000
with that idea, it just gives you a sense of

01:11:49.000 --> 01:11:52.899
peace like there's no tomorrow and that you aren't

01:11:52.899 --> 01:11:57.399
broken. Like no one's broken. Not in that sense.

01:11:59.420 --> 01:12:02.180
And you don't need this external thing that you've

01:12:02.180 --> 01:12:08.159
been chasing. When you're holding complete anything

01:12:08.159 --> 01:12:09.920
else, it's nothing outside that you're searching

01:12:09.920 --> 01:12:16.380
for Yeah, yeah within yeah Clay how do people

01:12:16.380 --> 01:12:23.000
get in touch with you? In your book Easiest way

01:12:23.000 --> 01:12:25.920
to get in touch with me is email me go at claim

01:12:25.920 --> 01:12:29.960
off a calm or you can reach out to me on X or

01:12:29.960 --> 01:12:36.720
LinkedIn or Facebook more active on X The book

01:12:36.720 --> 01:12:42.060
is TrustTrapBook .com. That's the website for

01:12:42.060 --> 01:12:44.560
the book. Yeah, they're probably the easiest

01:12:44.560 --> 01:12:50.779
ways. Sweet. Thank you, man. So our question

01:12:50.779 --> 01:12:54.579
of the week is, what's one moment where you betrayed

01:12:54.579 --> 01:12:58.699
your own gut and it cost you? So leave those

01:12:58.699 --> 01:13:04.670
comments down below. We read them and Clay, thank

01:13:04.670 --> 01:13:06.609
you for being on the podcast. Thank you for being

01:13:06.609 --> 01:13:10.550
here for Phuket. I know it's early and thank

01:13:10.550 --> 01:13:14.550
you for delivering such a good message. And I

01:13:14.550 --> 01:13:16.630
appreciate you. Thanks for having me. It's been

01:13:16.630 --> 01:13:20.210
fun. Absolutely. And as we always say, let's

01:13:20.210 --> 01:13:23.449
make thriving our new normal. I'll catch you

01:13:23.449 --> 01:13:26.130
next time. Before you go, I just want to say

01:13:26.130 --> 01:13:28.069
thank you. Thank you for being a part of the

01:13:28.069 --> 01:13:30.729
Thrabul journey. Every time you show up here,

01:13:30.909 --> 01:13:33.949
you're choosing growth. clarity, and the deeper

01:13:33.949 --> 01:13:36.470
work of becoming who you're meant to be in this

01:13:36.470 --> 01:13:38.869
world. And if you're ready to reconnect with

01:13:38.869 --> 01:13:41.390
what truly lights you up, I created something

01:13:41.390 --> 01:13:45.010
powerful that can help you. It's called The Empowered

01:13:45.010 --> 01:13:47.670
Path, Seven Days to Reclaim Your Purpose and

01:13:47.670 --> 01:13:50.930
Passion. It's a beautifully designed guided workbook

01:13:50.930 --> 01:13:53.210
that walks you through a week of powerful prompts.

01:13:53.600 --> 01:13:57.300
clarity building tools, and real mindset shifts.

01:13:57.479 --> 01:14:00.319
Now you can get instant access to it today. It's

01:14:00.319 --> 01:14:03.579
a small investment for a huge return. Your energy,

01:14:04.140 --> 01:14:07.340
your clarity, your alignment. And if you want

01:14:07.340 --> 01:14:10.020
to take it deeper, check this out. I'm offering

01:14:10.020 --> 01:14:13.159
a limited number of free 30 minute purpose coaching

01:14:13.159 --> 01:14:16.010
sessions. No pressure. No pitch, just space for

01:14:16.010 --> 01:14:18.729
you to reconnect with your direction, your gifts,

01:14:18.909 --> 01:14:21.649
and what's next. So you can grab the guide and

01:14:21.649 --> 01:14:24.090
book your session at the link in the show notes.

01:14:24.810 --> 01:14:27.409
Let's not just go through the motions. Let's

01:14:27.409 --> 01:14:30.670
really walk this path on purpose. I appreciate

01:14:30.670 --> 01:14:33.470
you. And like we always say, let's make thriving

01:14:33.470 --> 01:14:35.789
our new normal. And I'll talk to you soon.