And then as it progresses, I think it piles upon
itself because I keep driving down that dark
place and keep driving into that hole. And if
I don't consciously move myself away or somehow
get shocked into a change. And then when I went
into treatment, which was January 3rd of 1985,
so it was just a few days later, I went into
treatment then and And I started to feel like...
You feel like you're living your purpose and
are you in your purpose right now? I do. I do.
And it's funny because I haven't felt that way
until probably two years ago. It's, we touched
on it a little bit earlier, but it's getting
sick and tired of being sick and tired. Getting
stick a bang in my head against the wall and
doing the same thing and expecting different
results and just getting to a point where you're
just done. From addiction to author, from rock
bottom to purpose, it's not just about getting
sober. It's about choosing to live life fully
every single day. Daryl Dittmer's story is proof
that your past doesn't define your future. Through
his books, When I Stopped Fighting, and When
You Stopped Fighting, Daryl shares the raw truth
about transformation, healing, and what it takes
to reclaim your life. In this episode of The
Throg Word Journey, we dive deep into purpose,
identity, and the power of turning fame into
impact. This episode, What Sobriety Really Takes.
Let's begin. Hey, family. This is The Throg Word
Journey. Look. Life's too short to just get by.
And 2025 is the year to persist. We're here to
grow, build, and thrive. This podcast is all
about powerful stories, real talk, and practical
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Let us know you're here. Do us a favor. If you're
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know what to do hit that like button subscribe
and turn on those notifications So you never
miss an episode and as we always say Let's make
thriving our new norm Today we have an incredible
guest Darrell Dittmer. He's an entrepreneur author
and a living testament to transformation, from
overcoming adversity and decades of sobriety,
sobriety to building success on his own terms.
Darrell's journey is nothing short of inspiring.
So get ready for a puff inside some business
sobriety and living beyond your wildest dreams.
And Darrell, how you doing? We just met and I
can tell you, you feel centered. Thank you, Michael.
Thanks for having me, man. I appreciate you having
me on your show. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. You
know, as we have people on where we get to know
their stories, it's things that like move me
and things that I would love to, you know, explore
in the world of entrepreneurship and business,
but also as a becoming a full human being in
the purpose of who we hear who we are, and why
we're here. And I know you have a story to tell
about, you know, kind of your early years? And
can you just kind of share who you are and what
that story is? Absolutely. Well, it I started
in the Midwest in Michigan, actually, as a kid,
I was born in Detroit, and I'm from Grand Rapids.
So oh, yeah, from Grand Rapids. Oh, very cool.
Yeah. So You know Midwestern upbringing for for
me it was it was my dad was a mechanic my mom
took care of the kids and You know that was just
kind of the household sort of thing back back
then And it was my dad was also You know, he's
a pretty tough dude. He was He was a veteran.
He was he was very into You know do the right
stuff and respect and you know chest out Chin
up, you know all that sort of thing and and my
mom was a pretty strict person too And and so
that's kind of how I was raised I was raised
in a fairly strict household and and And and
you know, I don't I don't know exactly what that
means It just means I was raised in a very strict
household and that was that and and I think it
was a positive thing in many many ways you know
in terms of just a start in this world and understanding
that, you know, not everything's going to be
the way I want it to be. And a lot of nos and
a lot of, you know, you're not going to get that.
And that was, that was cool. Yeah. Yeah. I remember
my dad when I was, I was 14 years old, we moved
out to the country and, and we were at church
one Sunday and that was a big part of my upbringing
too. He put me in front of this farmer and he's
like, can you put him to work? And the farmer's
like, yeah. And so a buck 15 hour and, and busted
my butt. And we were doing, you know, up to 14
hour days sometimes, and, and even probably a
little bit more. And, and, but that's, that's
how it was. That's what was expected. And I remember
being on this. This farm and it was a, it was
a steer and a hog farm and I had, I had called
them tennis shoes back then, but I'm trying to
get with the times here and call them sneakers
or whatever. But, but, uh, they had holes in
them and I was, I was covering the holes with
duct tape and I'd be walking through, you know,
three or four inches of, of cow and pig stuff
and you know, and And I wanted boots, you know,
I wanted work boots. And I went to my dad one
time and I, and this, I was like 15. And I said,
dad, you know, can I get some work boots? And
he was like, yeah, you can, you're working. So
go buy yourself some. That was, that was how
it was. And that was cool. So, so I got some
of those lessons when I was a kid, which were
helpful for me moving into adulthood, but But
I got started with drinking and drugs when I
was 13 years old and I don't want to belabor
it, but for me it was a progression that wasn't
normal. It wasn't like kids just having fun or
experimenting, whatever. I wanted more and that's
what became my focus. I still worked. I did all
the things that I needed to do, but relationship
suffered, grade suffered, got in trouble, did
a whole bunch of stupid things. Um, and, and
I don't glorify that part of my past. I just,
I just tell it like it was. And, and by the time
I was 18 years old, I was toward the end of my
18th year heading into 19 and, and, uh, there
was an intervention done by my parents and they
knew I was. You know, pretty deep in the drugs
and I was dealing drugs and I was just doing
things that weren't, um, you know, indicative
of living the life that I was raised to try to
live and, and, and the person I was raised to
attempt to become. And, and basically they said,
go talk to this social worker and, uh, you know,
if you don't, they gave me the choice. Either
talk to them or don't if you don't get out of
our lives. And if you do then let's see what
happens. So It was a scary time and i'm 18 years
old i'm, you know, I think i'm tough i'm not
I don't have the tools internally to deal with
difficult things. Um Like that and and that scared
me and and so for whatever reason I decided to
go talk to this guy and But I was planning to
lie, just like I had lied my way through the
rest of my life up to that point. Um, and so
as soon as I walked in his office, he's like,
you can't lie to me. I'm going to go crap. He
read you right, right in there, huh? He knew
what was going on. He'd done this before. Right.
And, uh, so he intimidated me and, and so for
however it rolled out. I don't remember the conversation,
but I do remember that, that I told him the truth
to the best of my ability at that time, whatever
that was, whatever that looked like. And that
was probably about a month later. I went into
a, a drug and alcohol treatment program and I
was inpatient for 30 days and And that was the
beginning of my new life. Yeah. So I'll, I'll,
I'll end the story there. Cause there's a lot
more. There's a transition there. Just, just
to get an understanding of was you think that
the, the strict how to hold, um, pushed you that
way, or was there something that you felt that
was missing that pushed you towards the drugs
and drugs and alcohol. And if so, like, Can't
explain a little bit of what that is or was for
you. Sure. Sure. Um, there, there was, there
was a, uh, January, well, December 31st of 1984
was New Year's Eve. And, um, I was, I was at
this party and I was with about 200 people or
or so. Um, and I'd never felt more alone in my
life and I'd never felt more. isolated in my
life and and I and I just had this big hole in
the middle of my chest and and it crossed my
mind at that party I said you know I'm not sure
I want to be on this planet anymore and that's
that's where it got for me now how did I get
there I my opinion is and for whatever it's worth
I don't I don't jumped too far into the, the
psychology of it necessarily. But I would say
that there were high expectations as a kid. There
were, there were, you know, my mom was either,
Hey man, you're going to be a preacher or a doctor.
Neither of those happened. And, uh, none of those
happen. None of those happen. Um, but you know,
it was, it was, there was this There was this
line that we had to walk and, and there was also
a line that we had to walk from a religious perspective
because I was raised Lutheran. And so that was
either you're doing the right stuff or you're
going to hell. Okay. And that was kind of, that
was, those were the choices. And so I'm always
feeling that, you know, that that fear, that
guilt, that, Oh man, am I doing the right things?
You know, what if I do this? What if I do that?
So I think all everything contributes, right?
And everything contributes to starting. And then
as it progresses, I think it piles upon itself
because I keep driving down that dark place and
keep driving into that hole. And if I don't consciously
move myself away, or somehow get shocked into
a change. It just keeps going. And I think itself
perpetuates. Yeah, I think when a lot of us are
dealing with things or feel like we're missing
something that we want to fill it with, whatever
could be drugs, alcohol could be, you know, sex,
money, whatever it may be. And then there's a
point where we're like, you know, there has to
be a change, you know, we get, you know, we get
tired or fed up or whatever it may be for that
person. And there's a shift that happens spiritually,
mentally, eventually physically, what was the
moment? I know that you went to the concert,
but what was the moment in your life that you
said, Okay, stop no more. I got to make this
shift. I got to make a change. It was probably
that New Year's Eve party. I would say if I was
going to pick a moment Where things became different?
Inside me a little bit You had mentioned that
you get tired of it. I'm a big believer in We
need to get sick and tired of being sick and
tired before we change. Yeah but then You know,
there's, and I feel that there are several moments
and I feel there were several moments for me,
but that was probably the inflection point. And
then when I went into treatment, which was January
3rd of 1985, so it was just a few days later,
I went into treatment then and, and I started
to feel like, and I started to look around at
people who You know, they, they'd have us go
to 12 step meetings and we talked to counselors
who had been where we were at some point, many
of them. And I started looking at them and I'm
like, man, these people kind of have it together
and they seem happy and they don't have this
big, this big golf in the middle of their chest.
And they, they're confident and they can talk
to people and they can have conversations and
they can look people in the eye. All things that
I couldn't do at that point. And. And so I think
that there's a, I believe there's a momentum
to getting worse, but I also believe there's
a momentum to getting better and to healing.
And, and some of those points, you know, there's
maybe less than 10 in the entire time I've been
on this planet where I could say that changed
me, or that was a moment. So I hope that answers
the question. Yeah. So you had that moment like
when or moments? What did you do after that?
Did you do a or Alan on or whatever it was, or
whatever? What did you choose to get your life
back on the track that you saw for yourself or
your future, and then started going that way?
The the thing that I sort of latched on to at
that point in my life was Was the 12 step program.
I got involved in AA and that's what they introduced
us to in the, um, initial, uh, treatment program.
And, and I didn't know anything else to do because
one thing they said to me, which I think is incredibly
important is when you change the game, you got
to change the players. And so I, I couldn't hang
around with the people that I used to hang around
with. And, and so. I had to find a community.
I had to find, um, people who wanted what I wanted
to be better and to be different and to feel
better and all those things. So, so that's what
I chose. And what I found briefly in the, the
AA program was the 12 steps and the 12 steps
are There's only one of the 12 steps that talks
about drinking or drugs or whatever. Um, and
that's, I think pretty, pretty uniform across
all the 12 step programs that are out there these
days, but only one that talks about that. The
rest is about changing myself and the rest is
about being a better person and taking out the
garbage and cleaning my side of the street and,
and helping others and, and, you know, more of
a a conscious contact with a, with a, with whatever
higher power I believe might be out there, whatever
you want to call it. It's up to, it's up to the
individual. So, so it became a roadmap for me.
Um, and that's what I, that's what I latched
onto. I latched onto a roadmap for living. Roadmap
for living. Oh, okay. I like that. So you, now
you're on this roadmap for living. There is some
intrinsic, uh, transformation that started to
happen for you. What did the outside world begin
to look like for you? What was the, what was
the shifting looking like from that world to
your next world? It was, it was profound and
it wasn't. They say when you're, when you're
doing a change, right, or you're making a change
or you're moving somewhere else, wherever you
go there, you are right. So you're bringing yourself
with you. Yeah. And, and so. So I needed to change
me and that's not an overnight process. So I
still, I still did stupid things. I still got
in a little bit of trouble, you know, not the
kind of trouble that I got in before, but I didn't
drink and didn't do drugs, but. But the, but
the transformation was, was gradual. And as I
went through those steps and, and then I started
to get excited because I met people who were
Who were really happy and really content and
fulfilled and and some of the people I met were
successful from a financial perspective, but
but successful in life and And that was probably
the coolest thing is the successful in life people
that I met So so I started to surround myself
with those kinds of people and And, uh, and,
and I listened to when people would say to me,
um, and I never was really tempted to go back
to the crew that I used to hang out with, but
what it's easy to not be discerning about your
world and about who you're surrounded with. And,
and people would say, and I know I'm, I don't
know why I'm full of cliches today, but I'm gonna
say it. You lay down with dogs long enough, you're
going to get fleas, right? And that's, that's
one of them. And, and I listened to those things.
So, so I tried to choose people who wanted to
be on a path. Like I wanted to be on. So, so
in choosing that my entire world started to shift.
I like that. Give me, I'm going to, I'm going
to have to cut this. Give me once or give me
one minute. Right in the middle of your story.
All good. Yeah, it's all good, man. Sorry about
that. Just kind of just pick up where you left
off. So so lay down with dogs wake up with fleas,
right? You made that shift. So did you feel like
the people that you were now connecting with
was mirroring mirroring who you who you were
at that time? And then where did that lead your
life to? They, they definitely started to mirror
my life or mirror what I wanted, but, but I tried
to, one of the big things in the 12 steps is,
is finding a mentor and they call it a sponsor,
but I call it a mentor because I've had many
mentors in my life and I, and I tried to choose,
uh, you know, one mentor, somebody that I could
relate to and listen to and, and respect. um,
how that person lived their life. And I, and
I found one and his name was bud. And, uh, and
he was the reason I was, um, I guess attracted
to his sort of way is because he seemed very
content. And I looked into his eyes and I was
like, man, that guy's got something. There's
a, there's a piece there. There's a centeredness
there. Um, and, and so So that's what I was attracted
to. And he helped me work through the 12 steps.
And he also helped me understand that there are
other ways of understanding life. So I started,
I started diving into Taoism and Buddhism and,
and just reading, you know, and just seeing that
there are many different ways, other than the
way that I was, that I grew up being told. To
live life and to change and to get better. And,
and, and along the way, a few, a few years in,
I was. Well, I'll, I'll say I started, I went
to college. I was the only person in my family
to ever graduate from college, which, which I
decided to do after I got straight. And, and
I was fortunate to be able to do that. And when
I got out of college, I got a criminal justice
degree because my brother was a cop. My grandfather
was a cop. My other grandfather was a firefighter.
That was just, that was, that was it. Yeah. So,
so I got that degree, but I didn't get that degree
as much because that's what they were. I got
that degree because I had no idea when people
talk about business or marketing or finance.
I'm like, are you serious? I got out of college.
I didn't know the difference between wholesale
and retail. So when I, when I got out of college,
I went back to what I had been doing, which was
at that point was carpentry. I was framing homes.
I was kind of a blue collar kid and that's what
I started doing. But then somebody asked me to
get involved in a sales thing. Um, and I was
like, you know what? I'll try it. And that was
actually ended up being a multi -level marketing
thing, which was crazy. But, uh, but it was fine.
It taught me a number of things. Um, and then
I got involved in sales again and then again,
and I kept trying and. And so I'll cut it off
there. That's, that's kind of, that's kind of
part of, of reaching for me. It was, it was part
of taking risks and doing things. That I wasn't
used to doing that. I had never heard of being
done. Um, my family wasn't from that place. So
my, my dad actually came up to me a while before
that and he said, well, I got a spot on the assembly
line for you if you want it. And I said, you
know what? I, I'm good. I think I'm going to
choose another path. And so, so that's the path
I started to go down that the risk taking. path
and putting myself in situations I had not heretofore
been in. Yeah. There's such a great amount of
shifting and changing and transformation that's
happening in your life in these years. Some that
I can attest to for my life, you know, this,
you know, we grew as we get older, we grow, you
know, and the transformation that happens. I
came from a religious background, too. I know,
like, some days I would on Sundays, I pretend
to be asleep. And then my mom is like, Yeah,
if you don't get up, you're not going X, Y, and
Z. You know, I'm like, I'm up. I'm up. I'm up.
I got to go to church. You know what I mean?
Yeah, and then throughout life, you know, I,
I forged my own path and found my own path. you
know, of what I wanted to do and who I wanted
to be. And, you know, we go through our transformation
of stages and our places. And you've gone through
that. And like I'm reading here, like you said,
you started as a carpenter, sales, and then you
end up being a business owner, a builder, a landlord,
real estate investor and consultant. You have
many hyphens. So your life is definitely transformed.
And you shifted into the entrepreneurship space.
How did that happen? Well, I, um, I had a job
as a, uh, a sales person in a firm. Uh, it's
a long story, but actually ended up moving out
to Boston with a different risk taking venture.
Um, and then And everybody decided to go back
to Michigan when it didn't go well. And I said,
you know what, I'm staying in Boston. I'm the
only guy that stayed in Boston and I'm going
to try some other stuff. So, so I got hired on
as a sales guy and then, uh, and, and that went
well in, in this particular industry. And, um,
and then the company that I was with got bought.
But one of my business mentors at that time,
who I sought out, he was a client of mine. He
said, you know what? If you really want to make
real money, you got to have ownership. And I
was like, Oh, okay. All right. Let me try that.
So I ended up being the, the top sales guy for
this, this little company. And, and, uh, and
I went to the, to the owner and I said, you know,
I I'd like to get some ownership and, and he
said, All right. Well, what have you done? I
said, well, this is all that I've done. And he
said, okay. And before he gave me that ownership,
he sold the company, which was a little upsetting.
Yeah, I can imagine. But the new guy that came
in, uh, I ended up being the second largest shareholder
in that firm. So that was, that was the beginning
of my entrepreneurial journey. Um, and, and that
was something that, that, uh, I loved because
I was writing my own story and, and I had the
ownership. So there was something that John Paul
Getty said a long time ago. I don't necessarily
align with his values from what I understand,
but I, but he did say, he said, I'd rather make
1 % of a hundred people's efforts than a hundred
percent of my own. Yeah. And that's what ownership
can allow us to achieve. And that's what it helped
me to. to get into. So I did that for a number
of years. And then I said, you know what, I think
I've had enough. We're becoming too much like,
uh, I'm not a corporate guy. There was some,
there was something about me that even when I
was a kid, I said, you know, I'm not wearing
a tie to work. I'm sorry. I'm just not doing
it. I agree. Right. And, and, but I did it for
a little while and then, and then it got so corporatey
and And it just didn't feel right anymore. And
in this, this little boutique company that we
had started to get big. Um, and I said, you know
what, I think I'm out. So, um, I got involved
in some real estate, which I had done also in
part of the, uh, my previous, uh, career. I got
involved in a couple of different properties
and then my wife and I bought a restaurant and
I bought more properties. And, and that's just,
it just, the momentum of the entrepreneurship.
Just continued forward and, and it was, it was
great. And, and, and not everything went extremely
well. Some things didn't go well, which is fine.
Yeah. And, but I learned a lot and, and I learned
a ton about things going well and things not
going well. And each of them helped me immensely.
Yeah. For me, I know after university, I struggled
to find, I really struggled, but I was just seeking
my place and what I wanted. And my dad is a business
owner and he also works. And my mom was like
a very free spirit. And so I got both of those
genes running in my head and in my body. And
so I had to figure it out. And I remember I think,
right after graduation, I worked out went to
Europe with after that I came back. And then
I worked for a rental car rental place. And,
and I won't say the name, everybody will know
the name. But I was like, this is, I was depressed.
And I was upset. It was like I need to find what
I want to do. And so I left Michigan moved to
Atlanta. And then from Atlanta, move to Los Angeles
and now back in Atlanta. So I kind of, we kind
of have a similar direction there. And, but in
that whole space, you know, trying to find, you
know, the entrepreneur inside of me, there was
a lot of self -doubt. So how do you, how did
you, did you have self -doubt on your path? How
do you, if you did, how do you handle that? And
what advice would you give to entrepreneurs?
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That kind of similar thing that we have. Tons
of self doubt. Yeah. Garbage bags full of self
doubt. The 40 gallons. Yeah. Yeah. There was
a lot. I mean, it was, uh, I was unsure for a
long time. Um, unsure of, is this the right move?
Is this the right direction? Am I, you know,
what am I doing? Why did I choose this? You know,
sales and business ownership is Is a difficult
thing and, and it takes a while. Um, I have a
son that's in sales now and, and he's gone through
the ups and the downs. And I just said, you know,
what exactly what you have behind you, it's not
over when you lose, it's over when you quit.
Yeah. And that's, and that's a hundred percent
it. I mean, so, so how do I, how did I deal with
self doubt? And it's a very simple formula and
it's not that exciting. It's keep going. Just
keep going. Uh, I heard a lot of people say,
and I believe this was true. Don't quit before
the miracle. Don't quit before that place. You
could be, you could be two minutes away from
success right now and you don't know it. Yeah.
And two minutes from leveling up and moving forward.
So, so that would be, and I know again, it's
simple, but it's the truth. It's And many, many
entrepreneurs that I know and business owners
that I know and very successful people that I
know will say exactly the same thing. Just keep
going. Just keep going. Cause you never know
what's around the bend, so to speak. Um, there's
a lot of things that, that I don't necessarily
regret, but I continue to look back on where,
um, Make it practical like when I think I started
Did a YouTube thing at 2011 right YouTube wasn't
really all that big but I was doing the things
that are people doing now back in 2011 not as
great but had I kept learning and doing who knows
where you know, I would be because you know You
just you never know or there's other things that
that if I didn't stop you know, I would probably
most likely be at a higher level of success,
then, then, if I didn't, if I had, you know,
quit. So what do you say to those people that,
you know, those entrepreneurs are beginning business
owners that, that want to quit. But, you know,
we need to tell them to keep going, but they
just, they just quit. What do you, I mean, I
know there's other things that can factor into
that, but what would you say? I would say it's
a, it's a, it's always going to be a difficult
journey, no matter what. If I, if I quit and
I have to think it through, I have to think through
to the end. So if I quit and I still have that
fire, I'm going to start something else. And
if I, if I quit and I don't, feed that fire,
but I still have it in front of me and I, and
I accept something and I, and I don't mean this
as a bad thing, but if I accept something that's
not as challenging or I accept something that's
just, you know, not commensurate with my capabilities
or my fire, that's just like quitting. That's
just like stopping. That's just like, for me,
that's just like not. Allowing myself to be what
I can be and I'll feel that I will feel that
I'm not performing to my capabilities or or striving
to my capabilities and and so So there's there's
there's going to be times where Things just don't
work out and that's okay Yeah, and and I can
stop and I can retool and I can shift and I think
they call it pivot these days. I can pivot, right?
I can choose a new direction. But, but I think
the, the distinction there is I don't, I shouldn't
quit because it's difficult because difficult
is just part of it. Difficult is something that
we need to get used to, especially if we want
to keep going. Everything I've done, nothing
has gotten much easier. It's just that I've built
myself up to the point through those trials where
I'm more able to withstand the ups and downs.
I'm more able to go forward with confidence because
I didn't quit and because I understand that things
are going to be difficult. So I think that's
really the distinction that that an entrepreneur
needs to make, um, when they're choosing whether
or not to quit. You live in a life, um, that
started the way it started. You moved on and
you're here now where you're, where you are in
your life. Are you, do you feel like you're living
your purpose and are you in your purpose right
now? I do. I do. And it's, it's funny because
I haven't felt that way until probably two years
ago. Um, and you know, I'm not a, I'm not a young
dude. So, so it could be said that we're living
our purpose, our entire life. We just don't recognize
it until a certain point in our life. And I,
and I think there's some truth to that. Like
that, but because who's to say that There aren't
17 purposes for my life. Yeah. There doesn't
have to be one. Um, and, and I feel like that's
incredibly important to understand for me is,
is my purpose and I could get real philosophical,
but I'm not going to, I'm not going to do it.
Um, well, there's, there's a book called the
Bhagavad Gita, which is, is, uh, uh, a beautiful
ancient. ancient writings and there's a warrior
who's tasked with fighting some of his family,
some of his friends, some of the people that
he knows because they're sort of on the other
side. And there's a sage there who is actually
a god, quote unquote, in this tradition. And
the god's like, dude, Your purpose is to fight
those people. Your purpose is to be a warrior.
That's what you are. You're a warrior. So go
fight. And so his name was Arjuna and the God's
name was Krishna. And that was his purpose at
that time. And I feel like my purpose at one
point in my life was to drink and do drugs. And
then my purpose was to get my head out of my
butt. And then my purpose was to, you know, have
some success in business. And then now my purpose
is to, to be an author and, and to, to share
my story. So, so I think they all contribute
and, and they all could be called our purpose.
They're just not maybe that sort of touchy feely
warm cozy thing that we're all looking for. Right.
This is the kind of conversation that I have
over and over is like, you know, you don't necessarily
have just one purpose. You know, you may have
multiple purposes in different moments. You know,
for a dad in that one moment with his son or
his daughter, it may be just being that best
person, best father to that child. And then,
you know, maybe you have a different purpose
within business. like you said, 17 purpose purposes,
you have, you know, it's not just one purpose.
So, you know, don't necessarily get stuck with
that one idea or ideal thing that you think is
just the one, one purpose that you have as a
human being. Right? Yeah. You, I wanted to talk
about this. I was gonna wait till later. But
you wrote a book where you wrote a couple books.
And then I like the title of this first book
is when I stopped fighting the the unexpected
joy of getting my head out of my ass. So I love
the title. First of all, what inspired you to
write that book? And what is it about? That book
is about my journey. And I and I feel like I,
I have lived a life where I can help people and
I can help people Best I believe in terms of
my story and and to share my story and I feel
like that's if there's one thing we all have
to give in this world, it's our experience in
our story because somebody at some point might
be able to relate to that story and say you know
what I was there too or or I am there now and
you know what I need to change or I need to do
things differently. So I believe our stories
are incredibly crucial. And my story is, as we've
talked about, has to do with addiction and dysfunction
and healing and taking risks and ultimately freedom.
But the freedom comes with all of it. The winning,
the losing, the doing dumb stuff, the doing some
things that might be somewhat intelligent. It's
all of it. And with my first book, I want people
to understand it's not a, it's not a you should
book or this is what you're supposed to do book.
It's a book that shares my experience and, and
hopefully, you know, so that people can relate.
So, so that's the, I look at, look at it more
as, um, You know falling down many times getting
up many times and the lessons that I learned
that's really a the book in a nutshell Okay,
I like that and then you have another book called
when you stop fighting the road your own Is your
own asshole? What's the difference between the
two books there? The first book is my story and
the second book is is how can I help? you with
your story. Um, and, and I feel like we all have
a, we all have a wish list in this lifetime.
And the wish list probably includes, it may be
a little different for everybody, but, but happiness
and contentment, um, great relationships, peace
of mind. And we already talked about meaning
or purpose, um, and some financial security.
And I feel like there's, there's elements of
that, that everybody wants to acquire. But the
question is, how do we go about getting there?
And I went about getting there through drinking
and drugs and, and, you know, addictions and
I was addicted to nicotine and, you know, even
cigarettes and tobacco and, and work and a number
of different things. And those things are easy
to get attached to. So, so am I. Am I developing
that wish list by reaching outside for all of
these things and reaching outside for my contentment
and how I present myself in my relationships
and into this world? And so what is stopping
me? And a lot of times those things are stopping
me from getting to my wish list. And so how do
we move forward? How do we change? How do we,
how do we, um, how do we fail and still go? How
do we falter and get up? And what does that journey
look like? Um, and, and the journey is on the
inside journey that I have to take is in here.
And that's how all this stuff out there, um,
changes. Yeah. Everyone has a story, right? And
depending on who the person is, they may connect
to your story for whatever reason, you just never
know who you impact by sharing yourself. So if
anyone has a story to tell, and they don't know
how, what advice would you give them? understanding
that our stories are valuable. And I tell a story
in my second book of a guy who many people may
not listen to. And, and, but my mentor said,
he told me, listen to everybody. Everybody's
got something to share, whether it's, whether
it's, you know, the CEO of a, of a huge corporation
or the person at the, the grocery store or, and
many times, you know, in the 12 steps, I was
introduced to a lot of people who were homeless
at that time. And, and there was a homeless guy
at a meeting one time that said to me, or said
at the table, he said, he said, you know, you
can't change other people until they're willing
and ready to change. And that was something that
just hit me like a ton of bricks in the side
of my head because my sister had struggled with
some of the same things that I was struggling
with. And I was trying to get her out of it and
save her and all that sort of thing. So what
do I say to someone that's hesitant to share
their story is please share it because whatever
you've learned to this point in your life, I
don't care if you're 16 or 25 or 37 or, or 70,
you know, share because, because you never know
who you're going to affect and who you're going
to help. Yeah, that, um, that's one of the big
thing is that everybody has a story. And when
you were, we were saying that, uh, listen to
everybody, cause you just never know. Like what
has what someone has on the inside and. That's
very powerful. And do you think that from that
advice that made you, uh, I don't know, kind
of person or what, what did that advice give
you? You know, it gave me, um, there's, there's
another word for humility or another definition
for humility. And I believe it is being teachable.
And understanding that I don't know. I don't
have all the answers. And it's very easy when
we're younger to think that we have all the answers
and that that everything we discover is brand
new. And it's not because there's a lot of wisdom
that's come before us. And there's, there's a
lot of wisdom that came before me. And am I willing
to to study that wisdom and to be teachable and
to listen to other people and to understand that
I don't have all the answers. And I think there's
a wonderful breadth and depth of knowledge and
experience that can be had by putting down what
I think I know and being open to what I don't
know, which is There's a lot more that I don't
know than I do know. And at this point in my
life, and I'm almost 60 years old, it's gotten
even bigger of what I don't know. Of what you
don't know. Right. And of what you don't know
that you don't know. Right. Exactly. Yes. The
fact that you've, you, you know, you experienced
life the way you have, what's your advice for
entrepreneurs who, who feeling overwhelmed or
stuck and want to move their life or even entrepreneurs
that might be suffering, um, addictions and silence.
What's your advice to them? Well, in terms of
feeling stuck or feeling that they're in a spot
where they're not moving or things are changing,
I'd say you have to, you have to figure out how
to do things differently. Um, and a lot of times
There was one thing that there's a couple things
that bud told me that that are incredibly crucial
in life and and both have to do with the with
how I titled my books. But I grew up I grew up
to fight. I grew up to struggle. I grew up to
battle. I grew up to you know, he played a lot
of sports. If there's not a bone sticking out,
you're not hurt. You know, if you're if you're
struggling swing harder all of those things,
right? Like just yeah, working against ourselves
and And Bud told me one time, he said, Daryl,
when you stop fighting, the fighting stops. And
I was like, Oh, so I've been ruminating on that
for a long, long time. And, and that's why I
titled my books when I stopped fighting and when
you stop fighting, because, because it's easy
to be our own worst enemy. It's easy to, to,
to put ourselves in a position where we're just
wrestling and grinding and fighting. As opposed
to think, you know, doing something differently,
maybe as opposed to, uh, just grinding and grinding
and grinding. Maybe I need to take a break. Maybe
I need to rest. And these are all things I had
to learn over time, or maybe I have to learn
how to, how to approach things in a different
way. Uh, and that can come from study that can
come from, from listening to podcasts of successful
people. It can come from a lot of different things,
but. But I'd say doing things differently is,
is crucial. And regarding the addictions, another
thing that Bud said to me was, he said, Darrell,
first things first and the rest will be added
on. And I was like, okay, that sounds cool, but
what's first, right? And so that gets into a
little more of a philosophical look, but, but
it's what what's first is to develop me. I have
to develop me and develop my ability to withstand
the tough times. And if I can develop me, I will
have success in many areas of life. And I'm not
talking about just financial success. I'm talking
about the wish list from my second book. I'm
talking about purpose and fulfillment and great
relationships and all those sorts of things.
And if I just have a pile of money, I haven't
accomplished much. So to get to the success part,
I have to let go of what's stopping me. I have
to figure out how to jettison those addictions
and whatever those addictions are. We all know
intrinsically what's going on with us. It's just
a matter of, are we going to admit it to ourselves
and then decide to change? Or aren't we? That's
a lot to ruin it on. You grew up struggling and
fighting. I think that when you said that, that
was one of the things that I connect with because
just as a young person, I was always fighting,
fighting, fighting. not necessarily with other
people. But when I did fight with other people,
it was not I was I was I was bad. But I was fighting
with myself as well. And then you said once you
once you stop once I stopped fighting the fighting
stops. I think that through the things that I've
learned, you know, the places that I've been,
I stopped. I've learned how to do that for myself
and things would flow differently. in my life.
And I think that, you know, that was, that was
profound. I think it was wonderful to say. And
then said a lot of let go of let go of what's
stopping me. What is the initial step for people
to begin to let go of what when they first recognize,
I guess that would be a Recognize the thing that's
stopping them. When do they begin to like, let
that go? Well, it's, it's, uh, we touched on
a little bit earlier, but it's, it's getting
sick and tired of being sick and tired, getting
stick a bang in my head against the wall and,
and doing the same thing and expecting different
results and, and just getting to a point where
you're just done and, and you're ready to listen.
to something that may change, change your life
or change you or change the direction. I, I look
at, and I talk about this a lot in my second
book, what's our trajectory? You know, are we
headed North or are we headed South? And there's
various degrees of North and South. I could be
heading South going like this, or I could be
going like that. There was a point in my life
when I was going like that. And, and then there's
one of the things I talk about is heading toward
true North, you know, which We're never going
to be perfect. We're never going to get it all
right. We're never going to, you know, just,
okay, I'm done. You know, wow. Thank God that's
over. Um, we're always going to be striving and
we're always going to have to be moving. So,
so if you're in a place where you're just done
and you're, and you are sick and tired of being
sick and tired, that's, I would say 98 % of the
time. That's what it takes before we're willing
to accept new information and do things differently
and start that process of change. I like that.
What's one piece of unconventional wisdom about
business that you would give to an entrepreneur
or something that you strongly believe in? Unconventional
wisdom. Oh, let's see. That's a good question.
I would say that stick your nose in as many things.
Seriously, I've stuck my nose in a lot of places
where initially it didn't belong in terms of
learning and taking risks and trying and not
being prepared. You know, you don't have to prepare
to be successful. You got to stick your nose
in there and figure it out. Because if every
time I'm going to try something new, I wait till
I got it. It's not going to happen. I have to
stick my nose in and I have to, I have to, I
have to risk and risk is a huge word with a lot
of implications, but you stick your nose in there.
Somebody might whack you, but you have to understand
that that's just part of it. You know, you're,
you're going to get whacked and you're going
to have difficult things happen. But, but. Those
are the stepping stones, right? the tough things
happen and I step and another tough things happens
and I step and if I don't quit I keep leveling
up and and You caught me off guard with that
question, but I love it. I'm gonna ask somebody
else that question I think sticking your nose
in is is a big part of being successful. I like
it. I like it yeah, I think that is a conventional
and You you can't wait to be ready to or get
ready to be ready, you know, I mean Take the
risk, right? If there's one piece of a legacy
for yourself that you would like to leave behind,
what would it be? My legacy for me is my books
I was I was told this and I'll just do a quick
short story here One of my partners in a business
at one point said to me, he said, Darrell, this
business is going to be part of your legacy.
And my stomach turned and whatever was in me
just curdled because I didn't want a business
to be my legacy. I want what I can give back
to humanity to be my legacy and to give back
to people to help them grow. or change or shift
course or whatever it is. So I'm not done writing.
I've done two books. I committed to writing three,
but who knows where it goes from there. I don't,
I don't put parameters on what's possible anymore
because, because life has turned out a thousand
times better than I could have ever imagined.
Um, and, and so, so I would say my legacy is,
is sharing my message and helping people Change
their trajectory and change their life and and
help them move forward in their lives and and
then they can do that for someone else to that
point as your Last words on today's podcast What
would be or is your vice to people who are listening
or watching My advice is if you if you want to
If you want to feel contentment and you want
to feel fulfillment and you want great relationships
and you want to feel like, hey, my purpose is
being fulfilled and I'm getting somewhere financially,
you have to be willing to do what probably 95
% of people on this planet are not willing to
do. And if we look at successful people, they're,
you know, somewhere between one and 5 % of getting
to a place where people don't get to. And so
if that's what you want, and that's what you
want to achieve, you're going to have to go through
a lot more headaches, a lot more difficulty,
and a lot more pain. then most people are willing
to allow themselves to go through and to understand
that and And just understand that as a possibility
going in When the tough stuff happens You'll
say you know what that Darrell guy said that
I'm gonna go through this and and I'm gonna go
through tough stuff And it's just a stepping
stone. It's just a way to get to the next spot
I think that's That's probably the most important
advice I can give if you really want to level
up life. Yeah. It's been sound advice you've
been giving through the whole podcast. So first
of all, I appreciate your openness and transparency
of sharing where you started and how you transitioned
through life and transformed yourself into the
person that you are. And then sharing your gifts
of just being human, a human being on this planet.
So thank you for doing that and spending your
time on this podcast. You have, you have great
wisdom and it's very appreciated. So I would
like, you know, how can, you know, listeners
and watchers get in touch with you? Thank you,
Michael. First of all, for saying that I appreciate
that. And I appreciate you having me on your
show. The best way to find me is, is through
my website, which is daryldittmer .com. And that's
D -A -R -Y -L -D -I -T -T -M -E -R .com. I also
have a podcast, which is great fun. Um, Michael,
you're going to be on it here real soon. If you
want to be, uh, and that's, that's, it's called
the, when I stopped fighting the podcast. Uh,
and that is, uh, Apple and, and I heart and,
and Spotify and YouTube and et cetera, et cetera.
So you can find that anywhere. Um, and my books
are on Amazon. So you can either type in my name,
Darrell Dittmer, or you can type in the title
of the books when I stopped fighting or when
you stop fighting and they'll pop up on Amazon.
I like those. We'll definitely put everything.
Thank you for the invitation. I appreciate that.
And then we'll put everything in the description.
So make sure you go to the description and click
on those links that will be there. And, you know,
again, Darrell, thank you so much for being being
here and again, sharing yourself. It makes our
podcast, you know, a full awesome podcast to
listen to because of people like you. So thank
you again. And Everybody that's listening to
watching, you know, to either go to Facebook,
The Thrive Old Journey, for clips and other information
that we share. And as we always say about this
time, let's make thriving our new normal. Thank
you, Michael. Thank you, Darrell. Before you
go, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for
being a part of The Thrive Old Journey. Every
time you show up here, you're choosing growth.
clarity, and the deeper work of becoming who
you're meant to be in this world. And if you're
ready to reconnect with what truly lights you
up, I created something powerful that can help
you. It's called The Empowered Path, Seven Days
to Reclaim Your Purpose and Passion. It's a beautifully
designed guided workbook that walks you through
a week of powerful prompts. clarity building
tools and real mindset shifts. Now you can get
instant access to it today. It's a small investment
for a huge return. Your energy, your clarity,
your alignment. And if you want to take it deeper,
check this out. I'm offering a limited number
of free 30 minute purpose coaching sessions.
No pressure. No pitch, just space for you to
reconnect with your direction, your gifts, and
what's next. So you can grab the guide and book
your session at the link in the show notes. Let's
not just go through the motions. Let's really
walk this path on purpose. I appreciate you.
And like we always say, let's make thriving our
new normal. And I'll talk to you soon.