WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.540 The only thing was I didn't get better and I 00:00:02.540 --> 00:00:05.120 continued to cough more. So I went to see my 00:00:05.120 --> 00:00:07.179 primary care doctor. After a while, I could hear 00:00:07.179 --> 00:00:10.320 the voice of my wife in my left ear telling me 00:00:10.320 --> 00:00:13.300 that I had acute respiratory distress syndrome 00:00:13.300 --> 00:00:17.120 or I think it's since COVID -19 cytokine storm 00:00:17.120 --> 00:00:20.140 that was on life support and that I was starting 00:00:20.140 --> 00:00:22.859 to show signs of improvement. After I was taken 00:00:22.859 --> 00:00:24.980 off the life support and was able to breathe 00:00:24.980 --> 00:00:27.199 on my own, I still was struggling, but I didn't 00:00:27.199 --> 00:00:29.640 need to be on life support. I had a mask, but 00:00:29.870 --> 00:00:34.009 it became pretty obvious examining me that I 00:00:34.009 --> 00:00:36.549 couldn't move. Couldn't move my arms, my fingers, 00:00:36.689 --> 00:00:38.770 my toes. That's paralyzed. I don't know if you 00:00:38.770 --> 00:00:41.450 remember that movie The Mummy when Imhotep sort 00:00:41.450 --> 00:00:43.829 of inhales the life out of the grave robbers. 00:00:43.950 --> 00:00:46.429 It just feels like everything is being just pulled 00:00:46.429 --> 00:00:49.670 out of you. And I felt my muscles become rigid. 00:00:49.969 --> 00:00:52.869 And then it was over. And I was drenched in sweat. 00:00:53.009 --> 00:00:54.950 After one of these events, you're going to get 00:00:54.950 --> 00:00:56.770 to where you want to be. It doesn't matter whether 00:00:56.770 --> 00:00:59.659 or not it's how you deal with heart attack, stroke, 00:01:00.079 --> 00:01:02.619 cancer, loss of a loved one, any health issue, 00:01:02.740 --> 00:01:05.140 any life issue, you can put it into perspective 00:01:05.140 --> 00:01:28.560 and find a way forward. Be a part of the journey. 00:01:28.819 --> 00:01:31.500 Let us know you're here. Do us a favor. If you're 00:01:31.500 --> 00:01:33.980 listening on the podcast platform, download the 00:01:33.980 --> 00:01:36.040 episode. And if you're watching on YouTube, you 00:01:36.040 --> 00:01:38.760 know what to do. Hit that like button, subscribe, 00:01:39.079 --> 00:01:41.480 and turn on those notifications so you never 00:01:41.480 --> 00:01:45.640 miss an episode. And as we always say, let's 00:01:45.640 --> 00:02:03.840 make thriving our new normal. Today we're looking 00:02:03.840 --> 00:02:06.939 at your health as a tool to achieving your purpose. 00:02:07.219 --> 00:02:09.400 And our guest today has a story that may leave 00:02:09.400 --> 00:02:13.479 you speechless. Dr. Michael Hesschen, a top cardiologist 00:02:13.479 --> 00:02:16.099 and seasoned physician, faced death twice and 00:02:16.099 --> 00:02:18.400 came back with a whole new perspective on life, 00:02:18.479 --> 00:02:20.659 purpose, and healing. What happens when a doctor 00:02:20.659 --> 00:02:23.400 becomes a patient? And how do you rebuild your 00:02:23.400 --> 00:02:25.879 life after facing the unimaginable? So get ready 00:02:25.879 --> 00:02:29.060 for a powerful conversation and resilience, transformation, 00:02:29.360 --> 00:02:32.319 and really what truly matters. Dr. Hesschen, 00:02:32.539 --> 00:02:34.219 thank you for being on the show today. Thank 00:02:34.219 --> 00:02:36.229 you, Mr. Burke. Appreciate it. You're welcome. 00:02:36.509 --> 00:02:39.150 You know, when I first heard we started looking 00:02:39.150 --> 00:02:41.889 at your story, I was like, this is this is very 00:02:41.889 --> 00:02:44.009 interesting. Like it's I'm sure you have a lot 00:02:44.009 --> 00:02:47.009 to share. And so before we get to the meat of 00:02:47.009 --> 00:02:49.289 it, I really want to kind of set the stage. Like 00:02:49.289 --> 00:02:51.650 before your near death experience, how would 00:02:51.650 --> 00:02:53.789 you describe your outlook on life and medicine? 00:02:54.310 --> 00:02:56.449 It's very positive. I was very happy with my 00:02:56.449 --> 00:02:58.370 life. I was very happy with what I was doing. 00:02:58.650 --> 00:03:01.810 I was working hard. And, you know, things are 00:03:01.810 --> 00:03:04.750 things are going well. And our kids are both 00:03:04.889 --> 00:03:08.930 I graduated from school, had good jobs, and my 00:03:08.930 --> 00:03:11.150 wife and I were focusing on traveling and just 00:03:11.150 --> 00:03:16.050 enjoying our life and our life together. And 00:03:16.050 --> 00:03:19.610 this illness, I guess, like just about any illness, 00:03:20.009 --> 00:03:22.930 really kind of blindsides you. Nobody really 00:03:22.930 --> 00:03:26.389 gets to pick what it is that's going to befall 00:03:26.389 --> 00:03:30.669 them or when, but you just hope that you can 00:03:30.669 --> 00:03:33.919 get through it and survive. One thing I learned 00:03:33.919 --> 00:03:36.879 out of the gate, it's much harder to be a patient 00:03:36.879 --> 00:03:42.659 than it is a physician. I can imagine. What was 00:03:42.659 --> 00:03:46.120 the illness that brought you to your first experience 00:03:46.120 --> 00:03:51.889 that you had? The middle of December 2013 I got 00:03:51.889 --> 00:03:54.310 a cold. It didn't seem particularly unusual. 00:03:54.789 --> 00:03:57.289 The only thing was I didn't get better and I 00:03:57.289 --> 00:04:00.069 continued to cough more so I went to see my primary 00:04:00.069 --> 00:04:02.550 care doctor and examined some blood work and 00:04:02.550 --> 00:04:04.969 a chest x -ray and the chest x -ray showed I 00:04:04.969 --> 00:04:08.050 had a small area of pneumonia but I had no fever, 00:04:08.509 --> 00:04:10.930 my oxygen saturation, all my vital signs were 00:04:10.930 --> 00:04:13.990 normal so it was felt that an oral antibiotic 00:04:13.990 --> 00:04:17.689 and just taking it easy should all that would 00:04:17.689 --> 00:04:20.709 be required to get better. except it didn't. 00:04:21.110 --> 00:04:24.129 The cough got worse, I got sicker and sicker, 00:04:25.089 --> 00:04:28.430 and early morning hours at December 31st, 2013, 00:04:28.910 --> 00:04:31.930 I woke up unable to breathe. My wife had already 00:04:31.930 --> 00:04:35.089 been awoken by my labored breathing, and she's 00:04:35.089 --> 00:04:38.089 a nurse. you know, we both realized I was in 00:04:38.089 --> 00:04:40.129 trouble and that I needed to go to the hospital. 00:04:40.290 --> 00:04:43.230 So we called 911. I was brought to the hospital 00:04:43.230 --> 00:04:46.509 I worked at for three decades, a social hospital. 00:04:46.709 --> 00:04:49.029 And by the time I got to the emergency room, 00:04:49.209 --> 00:04:51.389 after the x -rays and the exam and the lab work, 00:04:51.389 --> 00:04:53.930 it was pretty apparent that I was in severe respiratory 00:04:53.930 --> 00:04:58.029 distress and would likely need to be on a ventilator. 00:04:58.149 --> 00:05:01.089 First, they started me on BiPAP, which is a mask 00:05:01.089 --> 00:05:02.769 that goes on the top of your head, it's under 00:05:02.769 --> 00:05:05.370 your chin, held in place with sturdy straps. 00:05:05.910 --> 00:05:08.209 Oxygen is forced under pressure into your lungs. 00:05:08.490 --> 00:05:10.449 By the time I got to the intensive care unit, 00:05:10.889 --> 00:05:13.490 my oxygen saturation had not gotten better. I 00:05:13.490 --> 00:05:15.670 was still struggling to breathe. And at that 00:05:15.670 --> 00:05:18.350 point, it was decided that I needed to be intubated 00:05:18.350 --> 00:05:21.029 and go on life support. I vaguely remember a 00:05:21.029 --> 00:05:23.569 family asking me if I wanted to be on life support. 00:05:23.610 --> 00:05:27.410 And I said, yes, I want to live. And so they 00:05:27.410 --> 00:05:30.889 sedated me heavily and started me on life support. 00:05:31.089 --> 00:05:35.079 And that was the beginning of a very difficult 00:05:35.079 --> 00:05:38.720 period of my life. I can imagine. And you, what 00:05:38.720 --> 00:05:40.699 type of medicine do you, did you practice or 00:05:40.699 --> 00:05:43.519 do you practice? I'm a cardiologist. Cardiologist. 00:05:43.660 --> 00:05:47.360 Board certified internal medicine and in cardiology. 00:05:47.740 --> 00:05:49.860 I just want to put that, I mean, I know from 00:05:49.860 --> 00:05:51.680 my notes, I just want to put out there so that 00:05:51.680 --> 00:05:53.819 just kind of flow with the questions here. Did 00:05:53.819 --> 00:05:56.379 you ever think about mortality in a personal 00:05:56.379 --> 00:05:58.839 way before your experience? Honestly, not really. 00:05:59.220 --> 00:06:02.579 I mean, it's something that I have to acknowledge 00:06:02.579 --> 00:06:05.399 that I knew someday I was going to die. We all 00:06:05.399 --> 00:06:08.199 die. I didn't. I was familiar with death. Both 00:06:08.199 --> 00:06:10.660 my parents died when I was young, my mother when 00:06:10.660 --> 00:06:14.360 I was 13, my father when I was 24. It was a terrible 00:06:14.360 --> 00:06:17.779 experience, their death. I experienced death 00:06:17.779 --> 00:06:20.920 many times as a physician. It was quite frankly 00:06:20.920 --> 00:06:23.959 terrifying. But it was not something that I worried 00:06:23.959 --> 00:06:26.220 about. It was something way off in the distance. 00:06:26.339 --> 00:06:29.779 Nothing that really seemed to be of concern up 00:06:29.779 --> 00:06:34.879 until the day it did. Yeah, I can see that. So 00:06:34.879 --> 00:06:38.800 as a physician, you saw that on the other side 00:06:38.800 --> 00:06:41.779 for your patients and things like that. So you 00:06:41.779 --> 00:06:44.160 had to help people in that situation as well, 00:06:44.220 --> 00:06:47.199 correct? Absolutely. I had a lot of experience 00:06:47.199 --> 00:06:49.439 taking care of patients in intensive care units 00:06:49.439 --> 00:06:54.060 on ventilators. And it was always sort of taught 00:06:54.060 --> 00:06:57.180 that with the sedatives that patients are given 00:06:57.180 --> 00:07:00.139 and the pain medications that allows you to tolerate 00:07:00.139 --> 00:07:04.500 the in a ventilator, the tube going down into 00:07:04.500 --> 00:07:06.860 your throat, into your lungs, it's very uncomfortable. 00:07:07.519 --> 00:07:11.660 But it was a common wisdom at the time that the 00:07:11.660 --> 00:07:15.300 sedatives, benzodiazepines, induce a sense of 00:07:15.300 --> 00:07:19.000 amnesia for most people and that opioids you're 00:07:19.000 --> 00:07:23.660 given help relieve the pain. It was quite a surprise 00:07:23.660 --> 00:07:28.139 to me actually how much awareness I had of what 00:07:28.139 --> 00:07:32.060 was going on day to day. how much I could hear, 00:07:32.660 --> 00:07:35.980 how much I understood. Being a physician and 00:07:35.980 --> 00:07:37.899 taking care of critically ill patients over the 00:07:37.899 --> 00:07:41.819 years, I knew I was in very deep trouble. My 00:07:41.819 --> 00:07:44.860 chances of survival were very poor, probably 00:07:44.860 --> 00:07:51.540 closer to 25%. As you're explaining or describing 00:07:51.540 --> 00:07:58.649 your situation, I remember I had a stroke. And 00:07:58.649 --> 00:08:01.209 I remember up until a certain moment. And then 00:08:01.209 --> 00:08:03.470 I don't remember anything. And then I woke up, 00:08:03.550 --> 00:08:07.490 I woke up swearing at people. My hands were cuffed 00:08:07.490 --> 00:08:09.850 to the sides of the bed, you know, I guess to 00:08:09.850 --> 00:08:12.350 keep me you know, safe or keep other people safe. 00:08:13.029 --> 00:08:17.269 And I don't remember, like, much of anything 00:08:17.269 --> 00:08:20.329 in in between those times. But I do remember 00:08:20.329 --> 00:08:22.829 after waking up, I would go to sleep and I would 00:08:22.829 --> 00:08:25.790 just have these weird like visions and it was 00:08:25.790 --> 00:08:29.329 be you'll be extra like extremely crazy. And 00:08:29.329 --> 00:08:32.190 I know many people describe like near -death 00:08:32.190 --> 00:08:35.450 experiences in vivid detail. Did you experience 00:08:35.450 --> 00:08:40.750 anything of that nature? Yes, I did. One of the 00:08:40.750 --> 00:08:43.350 treatments that I had to undergo on a pretty 00:08:43.350 --> 00:08:46.690 routine basis was called sectioning. You can't 00:08:46.690 --> 00:08:49.929 cough or expectorate sputum to clear the pneumonia. 00:08:50.250 --> 00:08:52.870 So it has to be done for you mechanically. So 00:08:52.870 --> 00:08:55.750 they would place a tube down your throat into 00:08:55.750 --> 00:08:59.690 your lungs and just suck out all the junk that's 00:08:59.690 --> 00:09:03.350 there. I'd seen it done many times. I had no 00:09:03.350 --> 00:09:08.049 idea whatsoever just how amazingly unpleasant 00:09:08.049 --> 00:09:12.549 that was. I don't know if you remember that movie 00:09:12.549 --> 00:09:15.649 The Mummy when Imhotep sort of inhales the life 00:09:15.649 --> 00:09:18.649 out of the grave robbers. It just feels like 00:09:18.649 --> 00:09:21.289 everything is being just pulled out of you and 00:09:21.289 --> 00:09:25.309 I felt my muscles become rigid and then it was 00:09:25.309 --> 00:09:27.889 over. and I was drenched in sweat. After one 00:09:27.889 --> 00:09:30.090 of these events, I don't remember waking up. 00:09:30.129 --> 00:09:33.809 I just felt like I was drifting as though some 00:09:33.809 --> 00:09:36.850 force was pulling me away. I could feel my body 00:09:36.850 --> 00:09:39.690 becoming very cold. It didn't make any sense. 00:09:39.990 --> 00:09:43.090 I'd never felt that experience before. But I 00:09:43.090 --> 00:09:45.750 could feel my body just inexorably being pulled 00:09:45.750 --> 00:09:48.710 away. And in the background, I could hear crying, 00:09:49.169 --> 00:09:52.970 deep, mournful wailing. A term I remember is 00:09:52.970 --> 00:09:55.279 called keening, which is a Gaelic word. used 00:09:55.279 --> 00:09:57.840 to describe the crying after the death of a loved 00:09:57.840 --> 00:10:01.559 one. It really didn't make any sense to me why 00:10:01.559 --> 00:10:04.019 I would be hearing that. Somehow I've ended to 00:10:04.019 --> 00:10:07.100 look back and I saw the faces of my tear -stained 00:10:07.100 --> 00:10:10.879 faces of my wife, my sons, my siblings, and then 00:10:10.879 --> 00:10:14.980 it hit me. It was me that that morning was for. 00:10:15.460 --> 00:10:19.960 I was dying or had died. Then I felt myself continue 00:10:19.960 --> 00:10:22.279 to drift away and then I could hear nothing. 00:10:22.279 --> 00:10:25.490 I could see nothing. After some period of time, 00:10:25.549 --> 00:10:28.309 I became aware of a light, a bright light in 00:10:28.309 --> 00:10:31.490 the distance. I kept being drawn toward that 00:10:31.490 --> 00:10:35.269 light. And as I got closer, took on the image 00:10:35.269 --> 00:10:37.730 of a person. And finally, I could see that it 00:10:37.730 --> 00:10:41.610 was a woman in a glowing white gown. And she 00:10:41.610 --> 00:10:45.210 said, Michael, it is not your time. You must 00:10:45.210 --> 00:10:48.230 go back. There is much to do. I don't know how 00:10:48.230 --> 00:10:51.269 long a period of time that was, but after those 00:10:51.269 --> 00:10:54.429 words, I began to feel my body becoming warm 00:10:54.429 --> 00:10:57.129 again and I was still floating. The floating 00:10:57.129 --> 00:11:00.110 was a very peaceful feeling, surprisingly peaceful, 00:11:00.710 --> 00:11:02.990 not terrifying at all. After a while, I could 00:11:02.990 --> 00:11:05.570 hear the voice of my wife in my left ear telling 00:11:05.570 --> 00:11:09.350 me what had happened, that I had acute respiratory 00:11:09.350 --> 00:11:12.529 distress syndrome or I think it's since COVID 00:11:12.529 --> 00:11:16.110 -19 cytokine storm, that was on life support, 00:11:16.830 --> 00:11:19.730 but that I was starting to show signs of improvement. 00:11:20.190 --> 00:11:22.879 I didn't know at that time what had actually 00:11:22.879 --> 00:11:26.419 happened. I didn't know if I'd had a dream, but 00:11:26.419 --> 00:11:30.519 about a month later when I was in Spalding Rehabilitation 00:11:30.519 --> 00:11:34.659 Hospital in Boston, my closest friend and his 00:11:34.659 --> 00:11:36.940 wife brought me some gifts, some good well cards, 00:11:37.019 --> 00:11:40.019 some books, and a candle. The candle was from 00:11:40.019 --> 00:11:43.340 Notre Dame in Indiana. There's a grotto to Our 00:11:43.340 --> 00:11:45.919 Lady of Lords there, a miniature of the Our Lady 00:11:45.919 --> 00:11:49.559 of Lords in France, and it was a candle from 00:11:49.559 --> 00:11:51.909 that grotto. And they told me that when I was 00:11:51.909 --> 00:11:54.149 brought to the hospital, my wife had called all 00:11:54.149 --> 00:11:56.110 my family and friends and asked for prayers. 00:11:57.470 --> 00:11:59.789 And so they were students there and they went 00:11:59.789 --> 00:12:04.009 to the chapel at Our Lady of Lords and asked 00:12:04.009 --> 00:12:09.210 that everybody pray for my recovery. And it hit 00:12:09.210 --> 00:12:13.690 me at that moment that what I saw was an image 00:12:13.690 --> 00:12:17.230 of Our Lady of Lords. I couldn't explain it from 00:12:17.230 --> 00:12:20.649 any kind of scientific standpoint. it was just 00:12:20.649 --> 00:12:23.809 something that you had to either have faith and 00:12:23.809 --> 00:12:26.710 believe that the prayers were heard, or it was 00:12:26.710 --> 00:12:29.230 just something that can't be explained. But that 00:12:29.230 --> 00:12:32.490 was a very powerful feeling, a lot of emotion, 00:12:32.710 --> 00:12:35.830 but it's something I've never forgotten. You 00:12:35.830 --> 00:12:39.250 know, I can attest that on my side after the 00:12:39.250 --> 00:12:42.490 stroke and, you know, in the space of, you know, 00:12:42.929 --> 00:12:45.990 the living and feeling like I'm not alive, there 00:12:45.990 --> 00:12:50.460 was a space that I really can't describe. or 00:12:50.460 --> 00:12:55.639 get someone to understand that there's a beyond 00:12:55.639 --> 00:12:59.259 the words kind of emotion and feeling that I 00:12:59.259 --> 00:13:02.519 was experiencing. So I can imagine for you, that 00:13:02.519 --> 00:13:05.860 was probably even deeper and a higher sense of 00:13:05.860 --> 00:13:08.879 something that you experienced. After you woke 00:13:08.879 --> 00:13:12.720 up with such a profound experience, what was 00:13:12.720 --> 00:13:16.019 your first thought? Well, when I had found out 00:13:16.019 --> 00:13:18.649 that those prayers had been said, the Guarantor 00:13:18.649 --> 00:13:22.690 Lady of Lodz on the campus of Notre Dame, I began 00:13:22.690 --> 00:13:25.970 to realize that the prayers that were said must 00:13:25.970 --> 00:13:29.870 have worked. I grew up, both my parents filled 00:13:29.870 --> 00:13:32.230 a family with faith, and it was a part of my 00:13:32.230 --> 00:13:35.370 upbringing. I remember praying very hard that 00:13:35.370 --> 00:13:39.789 my mother would survive breast cancer. She didn't. 00:13:39.889 --> 00:13:42.830 Those prayers were not heard. I prayed for my 00:13:42.830 --> 00:13:45.570 father. He had lung cancer. He would survive, 00:13:45.789 --> 00:13:48.379 but he didn't. those prayers were not heard. 00:13:49.100 --> 00:13:52.279 So I knew prayers, not all prayers are heard. 00:13:52.700 --> 00:13:57.620 But, you know, there's a line from a book on 00:13:57.620 --> 00:13:59.720 World War II, I forget exactly who it was from, 00:13:59.759 --> 00:14:03.440 but it was a chaplain in the army, I think it 00:14:03.440 --> 00:14:05.620 was in the Battle of the Bulge. He basically 00:14:05.620 --> 00:14:08.919 said, there are no atheists in foxholes. I would 00:14:08.919 --> 00:14:12.340 add to that, there are no atheists in ICUs. The 00:14:12.340 --> 00:14:16.710 urge to pray was primal. And I realized that 00:14:16.710 --> 00:14:19.450 even though not all prayers are heard, some are. 00:14:19.450 --> 00:14:22.570 Why? I don't know. I can't explain. But I knew 00:14:22.570 --> 00:14:26.210 deep down inside, somehow the prayers that were 00:14:26.210 --> 00:14:30.149 said for me were heard, and I survived. It was 00:14:30.149 --> 00:14:39.169 a struggle. But I do believe that the experience 00:14:39.169 --> 00:14:42.009 can only be understood from the vantage point 00:14:42.009 --> 00:14:44.370 of faith, because there really is no scientific 00:14:44.370 --> 00:14:46.580 explanation. at least that I have been able to 00:14:46.580 --> 00:14:51.460 find. Yeah. I mean, in that moment, did you, 00:14:51.539 --> 00:14:55.159 you really caught a sense of there was something 00:14:55.159 --> 00:14:57.259 greater than you that's that pulled you through? 00:14:57.620 --> 00:15:02.159 Yes, absolutely. Yeah. After that, I know that 00:15:02.159 --> 00:15:05.620 for me, just to keep it related, I had a lot 00:15:05.620 --> 00:15:10.059 of physical challenges, trying to thinking I 00:15:10.059 --> 00:15:13.360 could walk. I remember, I remember trying to 00:15:13.360 --> 00:15:16.509 get out of the bed. They had the little guard 00:15:16.509 --> 00:15:20.029 rails up, but the bed was low. And I remember 00:15:20.029 --> 00:15:22.629 thinking that I could walk and it just didn't 00:15:22.629 --> 00:15:26.129 happen. What was the biggest physical challenge 00:15:26.129 --> 00:15:30.529 that you faced in your recovery? Well, after 00:15:30.529 --> 00:15:32.990 I was taken off the life support and was able 00:15:32.990 --> 00:15:35.289 to breathe on my own, I still was struggling, 00:15:35.370 --> 00:15:38.309 but I didn't need to be on life support. I had 00:15:38.309 --> 00:15:42.929 a mask, but it became pretty obvious examining 00:15:42.929 --> 00:15:46.100 me. that I couldn't move. I couldn't move my 00:15:46.100 --> 00:15:49.220 arms, my fingers, my toes. That's paralyzed. 00:15:50.059 --> 00:15:52.720 And at the time, we were really quite sure what 00:15:52.720 --> 00:15:56.779 it was from. But after some testing, it was decided 00:15:56.779 --> 00:15:58.860 that I had Guillain -Barré syndrome, which can 00:15:58.860 --> 00:16:02.899 happen after viral illnesses. It's not common, 00:16:03.059 --> 00:16:06.960 but it's well described. And it can take six 00:16:06.960 --> 00:16:09.139 months or longer to get to the point where you 00:16:09.139 --> 00:16:12.159 can walk again. So I would look at my fingers 00:16:12.559 --> 00:16:15.259 and try to make them move, they wouldn't move. 00:16:15.559 --> 00:16:17.799 I tried to wiggle my toes, they wouldn't move. 00:16:18.340 --> 00:16:22.840 It was really a feeling of my brain just exploded 00:16:22.840 --> 00:16:29.500 like a cluster of fireworks going off. Time had 00:16:29.500 --> 00:16:34.080 ceased to become a dimension for me. So I had 00:16:34.080 --> 00:16:36.960 no idea how long I was in the intensive care 00:16:36.960 --> 00:16:40.379 unit on life support, but I was on life support 00:16:40.379 --> 00:16:44.000 for 11 days. And then they watched me in the 00:16:44.000 --> 00:16:46.559 intensive care unit for a couple more days after 00:16:46.559 --> 00:16:49.179 that to be certain that my breathing remained 00:16:49.179 --> 00:16:55.539 stable. And then they decided I didn't need to 00:16:55.539 --> 00:16:58.440 be in the hospital anymore. They needed long 00:16:58.440 --> 00:17:01.600 -term care. And they initially thought I should 00:17:01.600 --> 00:17:04.319 go to a chronic care hospital. My wife and I 00:17:04.319 --> 00:17:08.240 refused. We knew that my best chance for recovery 00:17:08.240 --> 00:17:11.369 was that a facility like Spalding Hospital, which 00:17:11.369 --> 00:17:13.990 does intensive physical therapy, I was otherwise 00:17:13.990 --> 00:17:16.529 in good health. And so it wasn't like I was 90 00:17:16.529 --> 00:17:18.549 years old and demented and it wasn't going to 00:17:18.549 --> 00:17:23.829 likely come back to active for life. And so we 00:17:23.829 --> 00:17:26.789 refused the chronic care facility and really 00:17:26.789 --> 00:17:29.690 said I wanted to go to Spalding. They accepted 00:17:29.690 --> 00:17:33.730 me. And I remember being taken there by ambulances 00:17:33.730 --> 00:17:38.440 and the end of February is very cold. And I got 00:17:38.440 --> 00:17:41.279 up to the floor, the sign on the floor said, 00:17:41.779 --> 00:17:45.400 spinal injury floor. And it hit me at that point 00:17:45.400 --> 00:17:48.700 that I was entering a whole new world that I 00:17:48.700 --> 00:17:51.819 had no idea what was to come. I'd taken care 00:17:51.819 --> 00:17:55.039 of patients on life support ventilators, critical 00:17:55.039 --> 00:17:57.799 illness, but being paralyzed or Guillain -Barre 00:17:57.799 --> 00:18:01.839 syndrome was not something that I had any knowledge 00:18:01.839 --> 00:18:05.059 of or any experience with. So I was really out 00:18:05.059 --> 00:18:10.240 of my depth and I was terrified. Actually, that 00:18:10.240 --> 00:18:12.500 was my next question. I know you deal with the 00:18:12.500 --> 00:18:15.220 physical aspects of your recovery, but what about 00:18:15.220 --> 00:18:17.900 emotionally? What was the hardest thing to process 00:18:17.900 --> 00:18:22.700 for you in this process of surviving and recovering? 00:18:23.140 --> 00:18:27.920 Well, I knew that I was going to live. I think 00:18:27.920 --> 00:18:30.940 that vision from Our Lady of Lords convinced 00:18:30.940 --> 00:18:34.119 me that I was going to survive. But I wasn't 00:18:34.119 --> 00:18:36.970 sure what my life was going to be like going 00:18:36.970 --> 00:18:40.089 forward. Whether I was going to be paralyzed 00:18:40.089 --> 00:18:43.250 forever, what I was going to be able to do, whether 00:18:43.250 --> 00:18:45.569 I would ever be able to walk again to make it 00:18:45.569 --> 00:18:51.089 home, to resume my practice as a physician. I 00:18:51.089 --> 00:18:56.349 was terrified, terrified beyond any experience 00:18:56.349 --> 00:18:58.890 up to that point in my life that I'd had. It 00:18:58.890 --> 00:19:04.579 was overwhelming. It was hard to process. everything 00:19:04.579 --> 00:19:06.680 that you're saying, I'm really intently listening, 00:19:07.180 --> 00:19:09.700 because it's not necessarily reliving, but I 00:19:09.700 --> 00:19:13.539 can, I can definitely, I'm getting the experience, 00:19:13.680 --> 00:19:15.440 I had the experience that you're having. So that's 00:19:15.440 --> 00:19:17.259 where all these questions are coming from. And 00:19:17.259 --> 00:19:20.779 I know for me, for a good amount of time, I struggled 00:19:20.779 --> 00:19:23.279 with understanding purpose. Did you struggle 00:19:23.279 --> 00:19:25.980 with a sense of your purpose after either trying 00:19:25.980 --> 00:19:28.400 to return back to normal life? Or, yeah, I'll 00:19:28.400 --> 00:19:30.039 leave it there. I'll ask that question first. 00:19:31.160 --> 00:19:35.109 Yes, deeply. My sense of meaning and purpose 00:19:35.109 --> 00:19:38.730 was tied up with being a physician, with being 00:19:38.730 --> 00:19:42.549 who I was, being a husband, a father, being active. 00:19:42.950 --> 00:19:45.670 The thought that I might be alive, but never 00:19:45.670 --> 00:19:49.650 be able to work again, or to walk again, feed 00:19:49.650 --> 00:19:54.869 myself again, it was just beyond understanding. 00:19:56.369 --> 00:20:01.109 I really had no idea what the shape and contour 00:20:01.109 --> 00:20:06.009 of my life was going to be. But my experience 00:20:06.009 --> 00:20:10.089 of spalding on the spinal cord floor, everyone 00:20:10.089 --> 00:20:12.529 there had a spinal cord injury, whether they 00:20:12.529 --> 00:20:15.549 were paralyzed, neck down, the waist down, or 00:20:15.549 --> 00:20:18.569 paralyzed from like what I had, Guillain -Barre. 00:20:19.150 --> 00:20:24.450 But the staff was amazing. They inspired hope. 00:20:25.910 --> 00:20:30.009 They instilled you with hope and it really encouraged 00:20:30.009 --> 00:20:34.039 you to fight. Their motto the Spalding Hospital 00:20:34.039 --> 00:20:37.819 model is find your strength. At the time, I mean, 00:20:37.819 --> 00:20:40.799 it's in a big plaque in every room. It's in all 00:20:40.799 --> 00:20:43.099 the literature. You couldn't miss it. And I was 00:20:43.099 --> 00:20:47.660 thinking to myself, what's my strength? I realized 00:20:47.660 --> 00:20:52.900 that my strength was inner strength. The belief 00:20:52.900 --> 00:20:54.579 that I would never quit, that I would find a 00:20:54.579 --> 00:20:57.460 way to somehow survive. It's the way my father 00:20:57.460 --> 00:21:00.740 brought me up. He was an immigrant. He came to 00:21:00.740 --> 00:21:04.789 the the country from Ireland in 1929 at age 17 00:21:04.789 --> 00:21:08.130 with a sixth grade education and $50 in his pocket 00:21:08.130 --> 00:21:10.970 that he had borrowed from his mother. And I asked 00:21:10.970 --> 00:21:14.349 him when I was young, why did you decide to come 00:21:14.349 --> 00:21:18.609 to the United States in the middle of this cataclysmic 00:21:18.609 --> 00:21:21.230 economic depression? He said, as bad as things 00:21:21.230 --> 00:21:23.250 were in the United States, they were far worse 00:21:23.250 --> 00:21:28.089 in Ireland. And he said, if I had a chance of 00:21:28.089 --> 00:21:32.210 surviving, it was in the United States. And the 00:21:32.210 --> 00:21:34.210 only thing that, even though I had no education, 00:21:34.829 --> 00:21:37.950 I knew that I was strong and I would never quit. 00:21:38.390 --> 00:21:42.309 And he instilled that belief of never quitting, 00:21:42.809 --> 00:21:45.509 believing in yourself, fighting back no matter 00:21:45.509 --> 00:21:49.069 how hard it was. Even if you would knock down, 00:21:49.190 --> 00:21:51.289 get yourself up, if you didn't know the direction 00:21:51.289 --> 00:21:53.769 you were going in, walk a few steps and then 00:21:53.769 --> 00:21:56.150 after a while you would find a direction. And 00:21:56.150 --> 00:21:59.789 I remember those words, those conversations and 00:22:00.460 --> 00:22:05.319 I just focused on that. I had no idea what was 00:22:05.319 --> 00:22:08.279 in store for me, but I knew I had that inner 00:22:08.279 --> 00:22:10.779 strength that my father instilled in me, and 00:22:10.779 --> 00:22:13.059 that I would never quit in trying to fight my 00:22:13.059 --> 00:22:17.319 way back. I just focused on that. And somehow 00:22:17.319 --> 00:22:20.960 I knew I would find meaning and purpose again 00:22:20.960 --> 00:22:23.539 in happiness. I didn't know how, I didn't know 00:22:23.539 --> 00:22:26.940 when, but I knew that if I kept going and didn't 00:22:26.940 --> 00:22:30.160 quit, that I would find those things. Meaning 00:22:30.160 --> 00:22:32.920 purpose and happiness and this is where you currently 00:22:32.920 --> 00:22:37.500 are in your life right now. Yes. Yeah What advice 00:22:37.500 --> 00:22:40.039 do you have for someone facing a critical illness 00:22:40.039 --> 00:22:43.880 or near -death experience? Don't give up Even 00:22:43.880 --> 00:22:46.539 though you may not know what life has in store 00:22:46.539 --> 00:22:50.720 for you If you do not quit if you get up every 00:22:50.720 --> 00:22:53.940 time you knock down Eventually, eventually you'll 00:22:53.940 --> 00:22:56.779 find a way forward in the readings that I did 00:22:56.779 --> 00:23:00.980 when I was recovering I came across a lot of 00:23:00.980 --> 00:23:03.519 quotes on how to find meaning and purpose and 00:23:03.519 --> 00:23:06.240 happiness again. And one of them was from Confucius, 00:23:06.579 --> 00:23:11.039 and the glory in life is never falling, but every 00:23:11.039 --> 00:23:14.819 time you do, get up. And I found that to be very 00:23:14.819 --> 00:23:16.839 true. It mirrored the words my father taught 00:23:16.839 --> 00:23:21.180 me. And the staff at Svalding Hospital found 00:23:21.180 --> 00:23:23.559 ways to motivate their patients because they 00:23:23.559 --> 00:23:27.359 knew everybody was struggling with these existential 00:23:27.599 --> 00:23:30.279 questions of what their life was going to be 00:23:30.279 --> 00:23:33.680 like going forward, because it was not going 00:23:33.680 --> 00:23:39.200 to be what it was in the past. And over time, 00:23:39.539 --> 00:23:42.339 as I got stronger, I realized that I would be 00:23:42.339 --> 00:23:45.680 able to, in some way, find meaning and purpose 00:23:45.680 --> 00:23:48.339 again, that I would get home to my wife, to my 00:23:48.339 --> 00:23:53.230 family, and that somehow Some way, some time, 00:23:53.410 --> 00:23:55.109 I would get back to seeing patients, which I 00:23:55.109 --> 00:23:57.289 ultimately did. What's up, Thrivewell Journey 00:23:57.289 --> 00:24:00.329 listeners and watchers? 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All right, one more 00:25:15.650 --> 00:25:20.309 time, www .theoreansgroup .com. All right, we're 00:25:20.309 --> 00:25:22.869 done with the spot. Let's get back to the podcast. 00:25:23.269 --> 00:25:27.130 I think never quitting is really the key. As 00:25:27.130 --> 00:25:29.710 bad as things are, as hopeless as things seem, 00:25:30.390 --> 00:25:33.509 never quit. I saw that on the faces of so many 00:25:33.509 --> 00:25:36.670 people who are paralyzed, the neck down, paralyzed, 00:25:36.730 --> 00:25:40.369 the waist down. You could see the people who 00:25:40.369 --> 00:25:43.609 were able to acknowledge the situation, accept 00:25:43.609 --> 00:25:47.660 it. they would find a way forward. And it became 00:25:47.660 --> 00:25:52.099 really what I define my message to my patients. 00:25:52.720 --> 00:25:56.779 Acknowledge, accept, adapt. If you can acknowledge 00:25:56.779 --> 00:26:00.039 whatever life issue you're facing, whether it's 00:26:00.039 --> 00:26:03.440 a heart attack, a stroke, diabetes, paralysis, 00:26:04.119 --> 00:26:07.819 you can't change it except getting angry doesn't 00:26:07.819 --> 00:26:11.099 help. Denying doesn't help. Then you can move 00:26:11.099 --> 00:26:18.839 on to adapting. I found ways to adapt. My first 00:26:18.839 --> 00:26:21.359 victory was learning how to swallow again. I 00:26:21.359 --> 00:26:24.599 had to be taught how to swallow. My next big 00:26:24.599 --> 00:26:27.279 victory was being able to get up into a wheelchair. 00:26:27.519 --> 00:26:29.599 I had to be helped into it. They gave me an electric 00:26:29.599 --> 00:26:32.099 wheelchair. And I realized in that moment when 00:26:32.099 --> 00:26:34.799 I was able to move around with electric wheelchair 00:26:34.799 --> 00:26:39.160 how amazing that must be when you're paralyzed 00:26:39.160 --> 00:26:43.349 to be given that gift of mobility. It never occurred 00:26:43.349 --> 00:26:48.910 to me how powerful that is. So I think that if 00:26:48.910 --> 00:26:51.349 you can acknowledge the situation that you're 00:26:51.349 --> 00:26:54.210 in, not get lost in looking to the past that 00:26:54.210 --> 00:26:57.690 can't be brought back or overcome by the horror 00:26:57.690 --> 00:26:59.930 of the situation you're in, you can find a way 00:26:59.930 --> 00:27:02.470 to move on to adapt and find meaning, purpose 00:27:02.470 --> 00:27:05.769 and happiness again. Yeah, as you were saying 00:27:05.769 --> 00:27:09.349 that, that's the thing I got behind me. It's 00:27:09.349 --> 00:27:11.839 not over when you lose. It's not over when you 00:27:11.839 --> 00:27:15.119 lose. It's over when you quit. So exactly. Definitely 00:27:15.119 --> 00:27:18.059 don't quit. What is what do you think most people 00:27:18.059 --> 00:27:21.319 forget that if you have five minutes to share 00:27:21.319 --> 00:27:24.359 a message that is would that be the message that 00:27:24.359 --> 00:27:27.559 you need to share with someone? I think everybody 00:27:27.559 --> 00:27:30.400 gets something. It's part of the human experience. 00:27:30.900 --> 00:27:34.819 I think that if you continue to mourn the past, 00:27:35.160 --> 00:27:37.980 whatever loss it is, you're going to get sucked 00:27:37.980 --> 00:27:41.450 down into a very dark place. Yeah. As you can't 00:27:41.450 --> 00:27:44.089 change, you can't change the past. If you're 00:27:44.089 --> 00:27:47.490 overcome by the horror of the current situation, 00:27:47.809 --> 00:27:49.930 you can't move forward. It's the people that 00:27:49.930 --> 00:27:52.269 can look to the future, that can find hope in 00:27:52.269 --> 00:27:55.309 the future. Those are the people that survive. 00:27:55.589 --> 00:27:59.109 I remember in one of the books I read was by 00:27:59.109 --> 00:28:02.190 Victor Frankl, A Man's Search for Meaning. He 00:28:02.190 --> 00:28:05.329 talked about as an experience at Auschwitz that 00:28:05.329 --> 00:28:09.190 it was a unique trait that the people who survived 00:28:09.190 --> 00:28:12.380 were those that could look to the future, that 00:28:12.380 --> 00:28:15.779 found hope. The people that got stuck looking 00:28:15.779 --> 00:28:18.839 to the past or overwhelmed by their current experience, 00:28:19.079 --> 00:28:21.859 they gave up and died. Admiral Stockdale, in 00:28:21.859 --> 00:28:24.619 his book describing his time as a prisoner of 00:28:24.619 --> 00:28:28.079 war during the Vietnam War, experienced frequent 00:28:28.079 --> 00:28:32.079 torture and solitary confinement. And he and 00:28:32.079 --> 00:28:34.559 the men he was in charge of just talked to each 00:28:34.559 --> 00:28:37.180 other, helped one another with the emotions they 00:28:37.180 --> 00:28:40.279 were feeling. And when he was interviewed, When 00:28:40.279 --> 00:28:42.660 he got out of prison at the end of the Vietnam 00:28:42.660 --> 00:28:45.460 War, he was asked, how was it that you and the 00:28:45.460 --> 00:28:48.920 men you were in charge of did so well psychologically? 00:28:49.339 --> 00:28:51.579 He says, oh, that's easy to answer. The ones 00:28:51.579 --> 00:28:54.440 who didn't survive were the optimists. They became 00:28:54.440 --> 00:28:56.460 convinced they were going to be home by Christmas. 00:28:56.619 --> 00:28:58.539 They were going to be home by Thanksgiving. They 00:28:58.539 --> 00:29:00.180 were going to be home by the Fourth of July. 00:29:00.500 --> 00:29:02.319 The dates would come and go. And eventually, 00:29:02.319 --> 00:29:05.559 they became despondent and gave up. It was the 00:29:05.559 --> 00:29:08.279 people that never lost sight of the fact that 00:29:08.279 --> 00:29:11.049 someday, that they would prevail and never gave 00:29:11.049 --> 00:29:14.630 up hope looking to the future. Those are the 00:29:14.630 --> 00:29:17.589 ones that got through relatively intact compared 00:29:17.589 --> 00:29:21.190 to those who couldn't. And I found those stories 00:29:21.190 --> 00:29:25.569 to be very true. Is that why you wrote Physician, 00:29:25.710 --> 00:29:28.309 Heal Thyself? Or why did you write it? Good question. 00:29:29.190 --> 00:29:34.269 It was during the January, the pandemic, I started 00:29:34.269 --> 00:29:36.930 writing. I went back to work and I had to have 00:29:36.930 --> 00:29:40.160 my hip replaced and I was recovering and then 00:29:40.160 --> 00:29:43.160 basically everything was shut down and I couldn't 00:29:43.160 --> 00:29:45.680 go to rehab. So I was just sitting with nothing 00:29:45.680 --> 00:29:48.380 much to do. And I had come across some notebooks 00:29:48.380 --> 00:29:50.259 while I was at Spalding. They had encouraged 00:29:50.259 --> 00:29:52.799 us to keep notebooks of our thoughts and I started 00:29:52.799 --> 00:29:56.380 reading through them. And, you know, the thoughts 00:29:56.380 --> 00:29:59.900 and paragraphs became chapters and then ultimately 00:29:59.900 --> 00:30:03.920 became a book. And I felt a need to share my 00:30:03.920 --> 00:30:06.500 story. It was pretty overwhelming to watch the 00:30:06.500 --> 00:30:10.690 nightly news. the story, the stories of all the 00:30:10.690 --> 00:30:13.250 death and suffering, people in intensive care 00:30:13.250 --> 00:30:15.910 units on ventilators, a national shortage of 00:30:15.910 --> 00:30:19.950 ventilators, and how difficult it was for these 00:30:19.950 --> 00:30:22.269 people and their families. I felt like I needed 00:30:22.269 --> 00:30:25.150 to do something. And the something that I thought 00:30:25.150 --> 00:30:28.190 of was I could share my story, what it was like 00:30:28.190 --> 00:30:31.789 to recover from acute respiratory distress syndrome, 00:30:31.789 --> 00:30:34.849 what kind of storm, the strategies that I used 00:30:34.849 --> 00:30:38.410 to navigate that path, the strategies that helped 00:30:38.410 --> 00:30:43.009 me rebuild my life, how it affected my family 00:30:43.009 --> 00:30:45.809 and my friends. I thought that in normalizing 00:30:45.809 --> 00:30:48.710 it, sharing my story, that could help others. 00:30:49.170 --> 00:30:52.069 I talk about the post -traumatic stress that 00:30:52.069 --> 00:30:55.430 I experienced. That was kind of a shock. I had 00:30:55.430 --> 00:31:00.589 known PTSD as a consequence of combat, of violence, 00:31:00.609 --> 00:31:05.220 but it really wasn't known at the time. that 00:31:05.220 --> 00:31:08.059 PTSD can be a consequence of a critical medical 00:31:08.059 --> 00:31:11.180 illness. I did a lot of research and found out 00:31:11.180 --> 00:31:13.980 that it was, but it wasn't very well known. So 00:31:13.980 --> 00:31:16.960 I talk about it in my book of how I was shocked 00:31:16.960 --> 00:31:20.900 and embarrassed actually to admit that that happened 00:31:20.900 --> 00:31:24.160 to me. I struggled with like, why should I be 00:31:24.160 --> 00:31:27.019 embarrassed? But I think there was always a certain 00:31:27.019 --> 00:31:30.779 stigma about people who couldn't just suck it 00:31:30.779 --> 00:31:32.680 up and gut it out and get back to what they were 00:31:32.680 --> 00:31:39.170 doing. And I began to read more and more about 00:31:39.170 --> 00:31:43.410 it and how to overcome it. And I read a lot of 00:31:43.410 --> 00:31:48.089 books on PTSD and also corollary of that called 00:31:48.089 --> 00:31:51.630 post -traumatic growth, how you can get through 00:31:51.630 --> 00:31:54.990 something that alters your life, fundamentally 00:31:54.990 --> 00:31:57.710 alters your life and forces you to face a new 00:31:57.710 --> 00:32:00.609 reality that you're not going back to the life 00:32:00.609 --> 00:32:04.490 you had. You're going... onto something new and 00:32:04.490 --> 00:32:07.170 that whole process of post -traumatic growth 00:32:07.170 --> 00:32:12.009 is how you survive and recover from the unimaginable. 00:32:12.410 --> 00:32:16.650 So it was really to kind of use my story to normalize 00:32:16.650 --> 00:32:19.509 the experience to show other people, their family 00:32:19.509 --> 00:32:23.130 members, their loved ones that this is something 00:32:23.130 --> 00:32:26.029 that is to be expected and this is something 00:32:26.029 --> 00:32:28.650 as a caregiver you can help your patients with. 00:32:29.049 --> 00:32:33.069 As I said a few moments ago, if you can't acknowledge 00:32:33.069 --> 00:32:35.829 what you have, you really can't move forward. 00:32:36.769 --> 00:32:40.049 So part of the problem was there wasn't a lot 00:32:40.049 --> 00:32:43.529 known about PTSD and critical medical illness. 00:32:43.789 --> 00:32:46.910 So I spent a lot of time talking about that in 00:32:46.910 --> 00:32:49.329 the book and that if you develop the symptoms, 00:32:49.410 --> 00:32:52.829 you need to speak to your physician about what 00:32:52.829 --> 00:32:55.009 can be done to help that. And really the best 00:32:55.009 --> 00:32:57.410 treatment is called cognitive behavioral therapy. 00:32:57.769 --> 00:33:01.940 It's really talking through the negative thoughts 00:33:01.940 --> 00:33:05.420 you have about the experience that is so overpowering, 00:33:05.619 --> 00:33:08.619 they crowd out every other thought. But it takes 00:33:08.619 --> 00:33:11.140 time, just like it takes time to learn how to 00:33:11.140 --> 00:33:13.920 play golf or play baseball or throw a football 00:33:13.920 --> 00:33:16.180 or play a musical instrument, you have to work 00:33:16.180 --> 00:33:20.559 at it. But it is a successful strategy and it 00:33:20.559 --> 00:33:23.259 helped me move forward. And in my book, I wanted 00:33:23.259 --> 00:33:27.589 to show people that these are normal things that 00:33:27.589 --> 00:33:30.509 you can expect to happen. And if they do, this 00:33:30.509 --> 00:33:34.029 is how you deal with it. And also, it affects 00:33:34.029 --> 00:33:35.970 your loved ones and your family and your friends. 00:33:36.269 --> 00:33:39.069 I think it also affected a lot of COVID -19 also, 00:33:39.069 --> 00:33:40.730 I think, affected a lot of health care workers. 00:33:40.950 --> 00:33:44.130 I mean, estimated to be 20 % of the health care 00:33:44.130 --> 00:33:46.170 workers in this country, nurses, physicians, 00:33:46.450 --> 00:33:49.650 therapists, quit because they were just overwhelmed 00:33:49.650 --> 00:33:52.690 or burnt out by the horror of what they went 00:33:52.690 --> 00:33:57.170 through. I think it's something the country is 00:33:57.170 --> 00:34:00.130 still reckoning with. Yeah, there's some aftermath, 00:34:00.329 --> 00:34:03.109 definitely. And would you say that your book 00:34:03.109 --> 00:34:08.269 was a sense of therapy and healing for you? Absolutely. 00:34:09.130 --> 00:34:11.869 The writing of the book helped me process a lot 00:34:11.869 --> 00:34:14.730 of the emotions that I was feeling. And that's 00:34:14.730 --> 00:34:17.710 one of the treatments in cognitive behavioral 00:34:17.710 --> 00:34:20.130 therapy is to write down your emotions, what 00:34:20.130 --> 00:34:22.210 you're feeling, and it helps you to recover. 00:34:22.630 --> 00:34:25.420 And it was therapeutic. It was not an easy book 00:34:25.420 --> 00:34:27.559 to write to share all the emotions and relive 00:34:27.559 --> 00:34:30.619 the experience. But it helped in many ways get 00:34:30.619 --> 00:34:33.159 me through what I was struggling with but didn't 00:34:33.159 --> 00:34:35.719 know I was struggling with. You know, it was 00:34:35.719 --> 00:34:38.579 impeding. Even though I had gone back to work 00:34:38.579 --> 00:34:41.280 and had found meaning and purpose, I was struggling 00:34:41.280 --> 00:34:45.260 to find happiness. And I realized that one of 00:34:45.260 --> 00:34:48.280 the fundamental errors that people make in not 00:34:48.280 --> 00:34:51.360 being happy is they're constantly comparing their 00:34:51.360 --> 00:34:54.150 life to what it was in the past. or to someone 00:34:54.150 --> 00:34:57.690 else's life, that will never work. You'll never 00:34:57.690 --> 00:35:00.190 be happy if you do that. You have to basically 00:35:00.190 --> 00:35:02.889 acknowledge the situation that you're in, accept 00:35:02.889 --> 00:35:05.929 it, not get angry about it, and then adapt. Figure 00:35:05.929 --> 00:35:08.650 out a way forward. The way forward may not be 00:35:08.650 --> 00:35:10.929 obvious, but it'll become clear. Yeah, and that's 00:35:10.929 --> 00:35:14.730 the mindset that you talk about, which is acknowledge 00:35:14.730 --> 00:35:17.369 and accepting and adapting. Correct. If someone 00:35:17.369 --> 00:35:19.469 is in a dark place, feeling lost or hopeless, 00:35:20.349 --> 00:35:23.449 is that what they should do? Go ahead, acknowledge, 00:35:24.010 --> 00:35:27.010 accept and adapt. It'll help. I think, you know, 00:35:27.110 --> 00:35:29.389 they may be able to do it themselves. They may 00:35:29.389 --> 00:35:33.050 need to seek some guidance from, you know, a 00:35:33.050 --> 00:35:36.210 therapist. But if they find themselves in a dark 00:35:36.210 --> 00:35:39.190 place, having suffered a critical medical illness 00:35:39.190 --> 00:35:42.489 or a critical loss, it's normal to feel lost. 00:35:42.949 --> 00:35:46.510 It's normal to feel disoriented and hopeless. 00:35:46.510 --> 00:35:50.289 But if you can acknowledge the situation and 00:35:50.289 --> 00:35:53.480 learn to accept it. not deny it. Denial doesn't 00:35:53.480 --> 00:35:56.400 help. Anger doesn't help. You can get to the 00:35:56.400 --> 00:36:01.719 final step, which is adapt. That's a good mindset. 00:36:01.880 --> 00:36:06.420 That's a good perspective. It's good to maintain 00:36:06.420 --> 00:36:10.059 that. I like those steps. I'm sorry. I'm just 00:36:10.059 --> 00:36:12.159 thinking it's a lot of questions I have for you. 00:36:13.800 --> 00:36:15.880 We'll wrap it up soon. How do you maintain the 00:36:15.880 --> 00:36:18.300 sense of perspective though that that experience 00:36:18.300 --> 00:36:24.329 can give you? I think it's part of the process 00:36:24.329 --> 00:36:28.909 of survival and how you get through the unimaginable. 00:36:29.289 --> 00:36:31.369 As Viktor Frankl and Admiral Stockdale said, 00:36:31.650 --> 00:36:35.130 you have to have a belief that if you look to 00:36:35.130 --> 00:36:39.210 the future, it'll be better. And if you can truly 00:36:39.210 --> 00:36:43.030 believe that somehow, some way, you will find 00:36:43.030 --> 00:36:45.969 the path forward. It may not be obvious at first, 00:36:46.710 --> 00:36:49.989 but Alexander Solzhenitsyn said the same thing 00:36:49.989 --> 00:36:52.320 when he was in the locked away in the gulag. 00:36:52.659 --> 00:36:55.519 You know, after so many years there, he realized 00:36:55.519 --> 00:36:59.960 that in the midst of a lot of reading, none of 00:36:59.960 --> 00:37:03.179 these things I'm talking about today were insights 00:37:03.179 --> 00:37:05.739 that I gained overnight. They were just, it was 00:37:05.739 --> 00:37:08.699 a process of rebuilding my life and rediscovering 00:37:08.699 --> 00:37:13.360 meaning and purpose and happiness. And the realization 00:37:13.360 --> 00:37:15.780 that you can find meaning and purpose, but that 00:37:15.780 --> 00:37:18.940 doesn't make you happy was kind of a shock. As 00:37:18.940 --> 00:37:20.940 I started reading about happiness and how to 00:37:20.940 --> 00:37:23.780 find it, you know, going back thousands of years, 00:37:23.940 --> 00:37:28.000 going back to Aristotle even, it meant the primary 00:37:28.000 --> 00:37:32.880 purpose of man is to find happiness. And he described 00:37:32.880 --> 00:37:36.179 happiness as two paths. One, the eudaemic or 00:37:36.179 --> 00:37:39.800 the hedonistic. The eudaemic is one who has a 00:37:39.800 --> 00:37:45.099 life filled with morality and caring for others. 00:37:45.539 --> 00:37:48.409 Hedonistic, which is just... self -pleasure and 00:37:48.409 --> 00:37:50.489 that when you go through life and you look at 00:37:50.489 --> 00:37:52.929 a problem or if you have a branch point of decision 00:37:52.929 --> 00:37:56.090 you look at it will this choice make me happy 00:37:56.090 --> 00:37:58.590 or will this choice bring me pleasure which may 00:37:58.590 --> 00:38:01.869 just be transient. If you choose the path that 00:38:01.869 --> 00:38:05.010 will bring me happiness it will help you to move 00:38:05.010 --> 00:38:08.429 forward in a positive direction and so I began 00:38:08.429 --> 00:38:11.949 to lead my life choosing to find happiness every 00:38:11.949 --> 00:38:15.610 day and I came across a course It was offered 00:38:15.610 --> 00:38:20.030 at Yale online by Laurie Santos. And she was 00:38:20.030 --> 00:38:23.670 the head of one of the colleges at Yale. And 00:38:23.670 --> 00:38:27.190 she was a psychologist and was amazed at how 00:38:27.190 --> 00:38:31.429 much unhappiness she saw in her students and 00:38:31.429 --> 00:38:34.710 decided to come up with a course that would help 00:38:34.710 --> 00:38:38.269 teach her students how to find happiness. And 00:38:38.269 --> 00:38:40.289 overnight, it became the most popular course 00:38:40.289 --> 00:38:42.880 ever offered at Yale. The first semester, the 00:38:42.880 --> 00:38:45.960 first year was offered one quarter of the entire 00:38:45.960 --> 00:38:49.219 undergraduate student body enrolled in the course. 00:38:49.599 --> 00:38:51.599 It's still one of the most popular courses held 00:38:51.599 --> 00:38:56.519 and you can actually gain access now on Coursera. 00:38:58.500 --> 00:39:02.360 She said there are five lessons. You find happiness 00:39:02.360 --> 00:39:05.539 in being with other people, not spending time 00:39:05.539 --> 00:39:08.679 on social media, which really isn't proven to 00:39:08.679 --> 00:39:13.539 cause unhappiness. You can find happiness by 00:39:13.539 --> 00:39:17.219 keeping a gratitude journal, finding five things 00:39:17.219 --> 00:39:19.820 to write in your journal each day that make you 00:39:19.820 --> 00:39:22.559 happy and how your life would be less happy without 00:39:22.559 --> 00:39:26.639 them. And to make time for prayer or meditation 00:39:26.639 --> 00:39:31.699 and to make time for personal growth, whether 00:39:31.699 --> 00:39:35.820 it's reading or exercise. All of these same things, 00:39:36.099 --> 00:39:40.489 fairly simple, but it's hard. to actually do 00:39:40.489 --> 00:39:42.469 all of them. But if you can do all of them well 00:39:42.469 --> 00:39:45.809 and learn to prioritize what will help you be 00:39:45.809 --> 00:39:48.949 happy, you will succeed. I think people sometimes 00:39:48.949 --> 00:39:51.849 get caught up in the struggle of their job, working 00:39:51.849 --> 00:39:54.110 harder. They want to make more money, so they 00:39:54.110 --> 00:39:56.969 work harder still. They don't have time for their 00:39:56.969 --> 00:39:58.909 friends or their family. They don't have time 00:39:58.909 --> 00:40:01.590 for the other things in life, even things unknown 00:40:01.590 --> 00:40:04.989 to help you, such as exercise. But if you can 00:40:04.989 --> 00:40:08.760 really be disciplined, and force yourself to 00:40:08.760 --> 00:40:12.239 be accountable, that you can find meaning, purpose, 00:40:12.340 --> 00:40:14.219 and happiness in life. I like that. I love that, 00:40:14.239 --> 00:40:17.320 actually. Gratitude is one of the things that 00:40:17.320 --> 00:40:21.739 we definitely take on around here. And so, it 00:40:21.739 --> 00:40:25.639 is key. It's key. It really is key to us as people. 00:40:25.719 --> 00:40:28.260 That's one of the practices that I take on every 00:40:28.260 --> 00:40:30.300 morning. You know, three to five things, you 00:40:30.300 --> 00:40:33.239 know. Even if it's just simple, I'm happy about, 00:40:33.239 --> 00:40:35.340 you know, that I have breath. You know, just 00:40:35.340 --> 00:40:38.940 as simple as that. um, and really have it at 00:40:38.940 --> 00:40:42.159 the core of your being, you know, that, that 00:40:42.159 --> 00:40:45.599 gratitude, emotion, um, or just being alive. 00:40:45.860 --> 00:40:49.960 Um, if this conversation could change, I know 00:40:49.960 --> 00:40:52.219 people say that one person's life, but if this 00:40:52.219 --> 00:40:54.800 chat conversation could change someone's life, 00:40:55.059 --> 00:40:57.019 um, what do you, what do you hope that they would 00:40:57.019 --> 00:41:00.199 take away from it? Well, I would hope that they 00:41:00.199 --> 00:41:04.400 would take away the belief or the hope that no 00:41:04.400 --> 00:41:07.420 matter how terrible their current situation seems 00:41:07.420 --> 00:41:10.940 to them. Don't despair. Be hopeful for the future. 00:41:11.440 --> 00:41:15.739 And I use the term acknowledge, accept, and adapt 00:41:15.739 --> 00:41:19.980 as a little acronym to help people keep those 00:41:19.980 --> 00:41:22.920 three things in the forefront of their thought 00:41:22.920 --> 00:41:26.059 process. Because if you can do those, you're 00:41:26.059 --> 00:41:28.280 going to get to where you want to be. It doesn't 00:41:28.280 --> 00:41:30.579 matter whether or not it's how you deal with 00:41:30.579 --> 00:41:34.280 heart attack, stroke, cancer, loss of a loved 00:41:34.280 --> 00:41:37.340 one. any health issue, any life issue, you can 00:41:37.340 --> 00:41:39.739 put it into perspective and find a way forward, 00:41:40.139 --> 00:41:44.860 then it'll get better. Acknowledge, accept, and 00:41:44.860 --> 00:41:48.440 adapt. Dr. Hesschen, I appreciate your time being 00:41:48.440 --> 00:41:55.440 here and sharing your life with me and the audiences 00:41:55.440 --> 00:41:58.599 that will be watching. How does one get in touch 00:41:58.599 --> 00:42:01.829 with you or connect with you? So I have a website. 00:42:02.369 --> 00:42:10.869 It's www .acknowledgeacceptadapt .com. That's 00:42:10.869 --> 00:42:16.130 my website, my biography, a lot of links to podcasts 00:42:16.130 --> 00:42:20.849 I've done, blogs, and my book, which I think 00:42:20.849 --> 00:42:24.010 is a distillation of all that we talked about 00:42:24.010 --> 00:42:27.309 today. I tried purposely not to make it too long. 00:42:27.980 --> 00:42:30.699 frighten people away. It's very readable in a 00:42:30.699 --> 00:42:33.699 weekend. But I have a pretty extensive bibliography 00:42:33.699 --> 00:42:36.579 of people. If people are so inclined, they want 00:42:36.579 --> 00:42:39.179 to learn more about some of the concepts that 00:42:39.179 --> 00:42:41.659 I talked or some of the books that helped me, 00:42:42.079 --> 00:42:46.179 it's there for them. And I highly recommend starting 00:42:46.179 --> 00:42:49.599 with the book, Physician, Heal Thyself, Nearly 00:42:49.599 --> 00:42:53.480 Dead and the Journey Back to Health. It's available 00:42:53.480 --> 00:42:56.420 on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. It's a short 00:42:56.420 --> 00:43:00.039 read. But it's a powerful book, and it really 00:43:00.039 --> 00:43:03.199 puts together all we discussed today. And for 00:43:03.199 --> 00:43:05.239 anybody who wants to dig deeper, there's an extensive 00:43:05.239 --> 00:43:07.860 bibliography of things that will help you get 00:43:07.860 --> 00:43:11.699 more nuanced understanding of what I talked about. 00:43:11.960 --> 00:43:15.139 And the website has a lot of blogs and quick 00:43:15.139 --> 00:43:17.760 discussions of topics that I think people may 00:43:17.760 --> 00:43:20.519 find helpful, but that's how you can get it. 00:43:20.639 --> 00:43:22.880 And of course, we'll have all that information 00:43:22.880 --> 00:43:26.679 in our description. And again, thank you. Dr. 00:43:26.800 --> 00:43:29.480 For being here. Absolutely. Thank you very much 00:43:29.480 --> 00:43:32.579 for having me. You can always connect with us 00:43:32.579 --> 00:43:35.199 on Facebook and Instagram. And we are getting 00:43:35.199 --> 00:43:37.719 our website up pretty soon. So stay tuned for 00:43:37.719 --> 00:43:40.860 that. And as we stay, I like acknowledge, accept 00:43:40.860 --> 00:43:43.559 and adapt. And as you're doing that, make sure 00:43:43.559 --> 00:43:47.460 you make thriving your new normal. See you next 00:43:47.460 --> 00:43:50.920 time. Bye bye. Thank you. Bye bye.