I wasn't able to get through, I would have had to take in the step forever.
And when we think about human behavior, part of it as well is understanding that we're human,
we're abbing and flowing, we're going to have different challenges.
It's just that I love the challenges. That's what I try to help people understand is I love
the challenges, I created these challenges. We kind of dove in and we got to see how the perceived
restrictions that this individual has gave them more opportunities than I have. And it's very
humbling to see because all we're doing is seeing the other side. And so I really try now, my goal
is to just catch it, right? So it's like, if anxiety comes up now, it's like, okay, well,
let me catch it. What's that inspiring thing for you? And then you move forward and it's like,
yeah, that's what I want. This is not an apples to apples situation, like, you are not going to have
the business this individual has, I took them 55 years to get there. Hey, family, this is a
ThriveWord journey. Look, life's too short to just get by. And 2025 is the year to persist.
We're here to grow, build and thrive. This podcast is all about powerful stories,
we'll talk and practical steps to help you level up in every area of your life. Now,
if that sounds like something you need, don't just watch, be a part of the journey. Let us know
you're here. Do us a favor. If you're listening on the podcast platform, download the episode. And
if you're watching on YouTube, you know what to do. Hit that like button, subscribe and turn on
those notifications so you never miss an episode. And as we always say, let's make thriving our new norm.
ThriveWord journey, we are joined by Carly Pepin, an international speaker and consultant,
specializing in human behavior. Carly empowers people like you and I to transform the stories
they tell themselves about their flaws, unlocking a life of purpose and fulfillment. Now, through
her deep understanding of human behavior, she helps others uncover their true potential and
design lives guided by authenticity and intention. And I'm really excited to have you on Carly. How
you doing? I'm great. Thank you for having me. Absolutely. One of the things I think is one
a very interesting topic is got human behavior. You know, what inspired your journey into mastering
human behavior? Yeah, so definitely on my own challenges and struggles and not understanding
myself, who I am, like why I'm doing things that I'm doing. And it kind of took me on a deep dive
to find individuals who can help me understand those things. So I could create the transformations
in life. And then I just, you know, you just when you love something, you really want to share it.
And then it just spirals into like, let's make a business out of this. Right. That's,
that's kind of how this kind of entrepreneur journey starts like if I'm interested in something,
then how can I make a business out of it? Can you just share like a defining moment when you
realize the power of transformation or transforming personal net narratives was, you know, a thing
for people? Yeah, for sure. I definitely remember when I had, I left the United States for a little
while and I lived in Australia for a year. And I had left Los Angeles just because I perceived
Los Angeles was the problem, right? Like that's what I thought was the challenge, which I know a
lot of people do, but now it's one of my favorite cities. I love it. I call it home. I love it so
much. So it was interesting. So I moved thinking that that would solve the problems when I got to
Australia, like everything just followed me. And then I realized all the things that I was blaming
LA for were actually distractions from what was going on with it. Right. So it was just
distractions. And I really had to like face that part of myself inside. I wound up finding
my first coach that was focused on human behavior, the traditional therapies just
to not work for me. It just didn't work, which I know works for some people, which just didn't work
for me. So I found my first coach who specialized in human behavior. And within the first few months,
my anxiety like immediately shifted, which was amazing. And it was just focusing on
living in my values, understanding my purpose, like understanding that it wasn't ever missing.
It was always there. I just haven't been giving the time and energy to it and not actually
shifted my anxiety. So I had been on anxiety medication every day. And I just stopped taking
it, which was a little crazy as well. Obviously, like, you know, I was trying to lean off of it
slowly, but at one day I was like, I think I can just get off. And I actually just got off. So that
was crazy for me. So it was all these things that I was told was not possible. I wasn't able to be
able to get through. I would have had to take them to the center forever. And then it's like, yeah,
everything was just fine. So that was amazing. And that was when I was like, teach me more.
Like, who else are your teachers? What else can I learn? And how do I also do what you do?
You talk about being on anxiety medication. So I just been transparent. I'm actually on
anxiety medication. Yeah, I was on it before. And then I just stopped. And then I went through the
issue of dealing with cancer. And, you know, then they prescribe me. I forgot the, I forgot
whatever the name of it is. That's one of them. Yeah. Connected to what I am.
When you got off of it, like what, what was your mindset about getting off of it? And what,
what was the thing that said, you know what, I don't need this anymore.
I just was feeling so much better. And I wasn't. So my thing as well as I didn't want to become
relying on it. I was really, I remember being scared. The doctor offered me the ones that you
sort of take when you're getting anxiety, just take it every time. And that scared me because I had
a friend who just had a real drug addiction after taking stuff like that. And I said, I don't want
that. So they gave me a time release form and I asked for the lowest bill. So thank you to that
friend. So even though it was helpful with my anxiety, it kind of just curved it, but I was
still living with it on a daily basis. So I could feel the anxiety that had dissipated because
sort of the underlying component that felt a little bit of like agitation and stuff had dissipated.
So I had not numbed it to such a degree that I didn't notice a difference. And that's when I
thought, you know, maybe I actually don't need it anymore. You know, and it's not to say that we'll
ever 100% get rid of anxiety because I want to sort of smash that illusion. I know some people
out there are like, oh, you knew we're doing anxiety. You can, but like life is life. And
something else like as you said, like cancer came up. And of course, like now this is something new
and something different. And you might have worked on the thing before that had caused the anxiety,
but something new stressful came up. And so it's like, we just take it step by step and bit by
bit. And when we think about human behavior, part of it as well as understanding that we're human,
we're ebbing and flowing, we're going to have different challenges that come up. And we don't
know what those challenges are going to drive within us. And so it's like kind of also having
that self love and understanding for yourself that this is life. This is the ebb and flow.
Yeah. And so I really try now my goal is to just write. So it's like, if anxiety comes up now,
it's like, okay, well, let me catch it. Let me see what I can do. Let me see, like if I can figure
out what's driving it, which sometimes it's obvious, you guys, sometimes it's something present day,
and I can work on it quickly. And sometimes it's some crazy trigger from like, all group wound
from what was it good. And those take a bit longer, you know, so I just do my best to try to catch it.
So it doesn't get like too crazy. But that's the natural reality of life. Like I hope that you
are embracing this and moving forward in them, because that means that you're really like dedicated
to something important and the basic challenges and know that it might come up again, you know,
and now we just have more tools. I think that's what's pertinent for me is that it's, it's something
that I take. But maybe I don't think I'm a reliant on it. And I feel like if I wanted to stop now,
I could, which what happened was because I ran out and forgot to call the doctor to describe it
again. When I got back on it, it was like hit me like a ton of bricks. Like I was like, not used to it.
No, it wasn't used to it. So what would you say for people that are like, that really don't want to
continue to take it and look for other things that would help them in the absence of that drug?
Yeah. And this is where it's like, you know, like I asked my doctor like how to get off it when I
got off it, right? And they sort of give you like a protocol to be yourself off of it. And you want
to be cognizant. This is like a drug and it does have like an addictive quality, like whether or
not we actually get addicted. So I like that's why I went through the process. I'm like, I'm
going to go through the process that they say, because that's going to make your life easier.
Right. So definitely check out like with your doctor to connect with them and see what's going on.
And then the other dynamic too is like, you want to like try to find out where that anxiety stems
from. You might already know, you know, I know some people think about this and they're like,
well, I actually already know like what it stems from. Like maybe you have some trauma and you
have anxiety ever since. But it's like, all right, well, who can you connect with that can actually
help you to clear that and transform that, you know, and it's like, you know, whether it be myself,
like I'm a coach and I like to work on those kind of things as well. I'm a demartinian
facilitator. I love the demartini method. So I'll probably be martinian facilitators out there.
John Demartini. And he's really helpful and he's a lot of facilitators worldwide. So even if you
didn't connect with him, like that's a great dynamic to come up with as well as you can suggest.
He has a really great anxiety protocol that we all utilize. So there's a lot of different dynamics
of like how you can dive in and go to transform it. And it's like, who can you reach out to? Who
can you find? Who do you know that already overcame it? Ask them for referrals? But it's really trying
to like focus on like what works for you, you know, and then there's also day to day things that
are just helpful. Like I love the inner work, but I also make sure to balance it with all the other
stuff, you know, like I love yoga. I find that that's really good for like clearing our energy and
the body. You want to get that. So that's really helpful. But I also really love like going to the
gym. So I do boxing classes, which is really fun where I live now when I was down by the beach,
I'd go outside and I'd roll a blade on like the little beach path and stuff. So I really find ways
that I can get outside, I can get in nature, I can do all these different things to like balance out
like these days and these dynamics because the reality is is, you know, if anyone's selling
you like this fantasy that every day is like their most amazing day. Like of course, like I love my
life and it is very inspiring, but I'm not going to sell some illusion that I don't have challenges
that I'm working on on a daily basis. You know, it's just that I love the challenges. Like that's
like what I try to help people understand is like I love the challenges. I created these challenges.
It doesn't mean I'm sitting here like Disneyland like this is so fun. I react. I'm human. I get
frustrated. I just trust out. That's normal. It's totally normal. And I have my own judgments and
misperception and things to work on and all these are like signals on a daily basis and things to
overcome. It's just that I chose things that I want to overcome. So as opposed to waking up and
being like, Oh, I have to do all this crap. Like I'm like, Oh, there's a lot of crazy stuff going
on in my life. But I actually am really excited because like there's also things that I really
want to overcome. And it's going to be really hard. But this is important to me. This is so
important to me that I'll do whatever it takes to get there. Right. So that's the difference. But
then it's also being realistic that it is stressful. Like it can be stressful. And even though it's
inspiring to you, we still have misperceptions that drive like distress in us. And so I balance it out
with doing the inner work to shift my perceptions, but also like whatever helps me on the outside,
you know, like whatever helps you on the outside and find your thing too, because you won't stick
to it unless it's your thing. I agree. That's so fantastic. You've had, you've lived in Australia,
kind of global experiences, right? Did that shape your understanding of human, human behavior,
human challenges? What it did for me is it really helped me to realize like the there are so many
different individuals on this planet, like living in a different culture, you know, I have, I had
the opportunity to live in Canada as well for a little bit. And so I've been in Canada, United
States, and then Australia and kind of bounced around in Canada on, or sorry, US and Australia
bit. So I've gotten to see all the different like cultural dynamics and stuff. And it's interesting
because we can really become sheltered and get very stuck in our ways. So when it becomes like to
human behavior, we have this perception and we get really caught up in what's right or wrong
according to us. One of the gifts of traveling so much and living in these other countries
and kind of engrossing myself in other cultures is I realized like it's right or wrong according to
a culture. And we often subordinate to our own culture, not realizing you'll go somewhere else
and you're like, this is not acceptable in the US, but like, man, this works really well here. So
is it that it doesn't work here? Like, did it not work in LA or are they just like a different
perception? And I'll take it actually just a different perception. And you see how strong no
matter what culture you're in, it's all really like these perception based. And so it really helped
me open my mind and open my heart to like the reality that like everyone has their own way of
doing things. And it's not up to me to say like what's right or wrong. But like even now when I
work with clients, it's up to me to find out what works best for you and help you to excel at like
what you're most inspired by, you know, and even when I say this, like, I know there's challenges
that come in cultures too, but I find when people want to do personal development, like they just
want to be of service. Like, I don't have to worry about that. Like, I'm not having like crazy things
come forward. You know, like they're just, they just want to grow and be of service and what
other core wants to be of service as long as I can. Like, it's to be everything fine.
Yeah, when you talk to these people, when like when you get into it, like underneath it all,
yeah, you find that that's what they want. They just want to be of service.
They want to be of service and they want to be themselves. Right. And like I was working with
an individual in India, right. And there was a perception that because I'm from America and
I'm female that I have all these other opportunities, right. And so it was interesting because we kind
of dove in and we got to see how the perceived restrictions that this individual has gave them
more opportunities than I have. And it's very humbling to see because all we're doing is seeing
the other side. When you go in, it's like, okay, well, do you actually need to change that restriction
level? And it's like, no, like I actually like the opportunities I have. And this is the form it
comes in. And it's really humbling because even for myself, like I get to sit there and say, oh,
it's better to be a woman than me in the United States. But that's not true. I just haven't looked
at the other side. So now I've had the opportunity to see the other sides and how these restrictions
actually serve us and how they help people and how they help people to grow and how some of the
freedoms I have can also be quite restricted. Like everything has both sides. So when we're
diving in and looking at these different dynamics, like we just want to see no matter what we're
experiencing has both sides. If something is too high on a pedestal, I'm going to label it as right,
I'll probably be self righteous in that dynamic. And I'll think that I'm right and you're wrong,
which by the way, you know, hang out with that person. That's usually by the way, when we get
criticized and like, yeah, like we get criticized. And then I know now, like the reaction that we're
going to get from people and I'm like, yeah, you're being self righteous, Carly, like you get off your
little high horse. So that's the feedback that we get. And then there's also that dynamic where
it's like, but we're also not self wrong, just where we're putting ourselves in a pit and saying,
well, the way it's better. Because at the core of that, between the two, if we meet in the middle,
we find you in the way and you in the self, you know, and it's pretty cool because when we get to
go and express ourselves in a way that we don't feel like we're repressing or mimicking someone,
like you feel very calm, very neutral, very grateful, we just feel natural, you know, and that's
part of like why I love to help people. Like, let's get you on track, let's get you authentic,
because I know in that state, you have less emotions, you're more objective, you can face more
challenges, you're more adaptable to change because you're really focused on things that ground you.
And the way to finding that inner self, that authentic self, what are the questions that
people bring up all the time that kind of limits them to get into that place? Or is it?
Yeah, should I do this? Am I supposed to do this? Am I supposed to do that? I don't know. It's your
life. Stop asking someone else. It's your life. And I think this is the key too, is like when I work
with someone, you're gonna ask me that question 100%. And you know, once people get to know me,
they laugh because they're like, you're not going to tell me. And I'm like, no, I'm not,
we're going to find out why you can't find the answer. Right. So if you're saying I should do
this, I should do that, and you're asking all these people, should I do this or should I do that?
You have some uncertainty in yourself. So you've lost the level of certainty in yourself. So my
goal is to get you back that certainty within yourself. So that at the end of like a consultation,
we figure out like, what is it that's making you uncertain? You know, we find it, we clear that
uncertainty. And then I ask the question, what do you want to do? Not what you think you should do,
what you want to do. And it's really important to check in with the language, right? Like this is
something that I'm hyper focused on when I'm in digital patients, like it's this language. Because
if I say, what do you want to do? And the client says, well, I think I should do this. I said,
then we're not done yet, because you still have a shit in there. Until they said, you know what,
I really, I want to do it this way. I can't wait to do it this way. I'd love to do it this way.
This is the way I choose to do it. Then I know we got it. Then I know we got certainty. So anytime
we hear should, supposed to, you've got to, need to, have to, must, right? That's not according to
you. That's used to coordinating some outside authority, because you lost certainty in yourself.
But when you have certainty, you say, I'd love to choose to desire to want to, right? And so that's
quite inspiring as well. So it's really paying attention to that language, because we want to
get you back to your certainty, because you truly know you the best, right? Like, and I work with
a lot of business owners as well, because I do a lot of business strategy stuff, business, business
stuff. And it's the same in the business, like, you know your business. I'm not going to know your
business is going to do it. Up to me, it's awesome quality questions to get you the certainty, holding
answers out with you. And that we just, you know, you're hungry down and you keep going until you
get that certainty. Because those steps where you move forward into something that you would love
to do, you're like I said, you're going to be the most productive. You're going to be the most resilient.
You're going to be the most adaptable to change. You're going to be the most objective. So my main
focus is like, let's get you that certainty. Because if I send you out in a world working on
your shoulds, and you know what's going to happen, you're going to procrastinate, you're going to
hesitate, you're going to get frustrated with yourself. And you're going to judge yourself
because you're not taking action on something, which is a should. So if you want to do that,
if you want to take action, you should do it. Yeah, I have little nephews and everything. And
they always have, they have that should word, but I always say, should doesn't exist. And then I have
them have a different kind of language so that they can start to learn as a young young people
that, you know, you can be definite in what your next step is and bring, like you said,
certainty to whatever the vision of your life is in finding the vision of your life and being
authentic. How do you, how do you define authenticity? Yeah, just being yourself, like
pursuing that path that's most inspiring to you. So it's, and I love this, it's a, it's a DJ
Palmer, by the way, he's a father of car practice, but he says it, take no credit, take no blame,
just keep focused on your chief name. I absolutely love that because take no credit means it's not
about being proud, right? It's not about being proud and puffing yourself up and all this external
validation. Take no blame. It's not about being shamed. It's not about putting yourself down,
right? Just keep focused on your chief name. That's the tello, that's our end in mind. Right?
That's the thing that's most inspiring and important to us. And so it's really about
discovering what that is to you, which is not hard. This is not hard. Your life demonstrates
what's most important to you based on just some of the things I shared, you could extrapolate and
pull together these commonalities of what it's most important to me, you know, and you could see
like, I've already kind of shared like what my day looks like. And so if every day I'm focused on
these things, that demonstrates that it has meaning to me. And it's cool because if you look at every
day, what are you focused on? What can I rely on you for? You know, do no matter what, even if it's
a hard day, you're going to start to write these things down and look at how your day pans out.
And it's like, wow, like things are starting to repeat. Things are actually showing me that
there's a real repetitive nature here. And that's your meaning. That's your purpose. Also, it's
like the things that we invest finances in, right? Like we could say we can't afford things, but I
have a good laugh and clients about this, because I'm like, oh, you can't afford that. I'm like,
but you just told me you bought this. And I was like, so can you not afford it? Or is it that you
didn't want to purchase that? And you'd rather invest in this because it's more meaningful. So
it's really cool because you can pay attention, you can afford a lot more than you think, but you
choose to invest in things that are most meaningful to you. And you'll go the extra mile and you'll
stretch financially for those particular things, right? And so that's also an interesting dynamic
as well. We also love to talk about these things, right? The things that we're most inspired to talk
about, like you'll become a complete introvert in a conversation and dynamic where people are not
talking about things that inspire you. But you all of a sudden become an extrovert. I had a good laugh,
one of my clients, she's going to start podcasting, right? She's going to start hosting. And she's
like, how am I going to do it? What am I going to talk about? She's like, I've never done this before.
I don't know if I'm a sneaker. And I'm like, girl, I was like, you talk about things that are
inspiring on this. And I laugh because I'm like, you, you're basically a podcaster sometimes on
calls. And as soon as she gets like a hit of what's inspiring, that girl just like flows and goes.
And I can get two to three minutes of her at this top energy level because it energizes her so much
she talk about it. And if I was talking about something that wasn't inspiring her, she'd go
back to introvert. Right. And it's like, that's it. Have a podcast on those topics and you're
going to go around. And she started and she's going to go. She's a natural. And we're all natural
if we're speaking about things that are inspiring to us, right? If I start talking about something
strong, I don't like the questions that I'm on the board. I'm not like special or unique. I'm just
focused and I only apply to podcasts that have topics and subjects that I'm inspired by. Right.
Like, that's it. Yeah. If I do anything else, I'm screwed, guys. I get all dressed up.
But there are people in my life, like I have certain family members that genuinely perceive me
as highly introverted. Because when I go to some of these events, they're just not discussing
topics and things that inspire me. So we actually like go into the shell. Whereas most of my friends,
you know, because it's just they're all like in the similar industry, they're like,
Carly can't shut up. Like, what are you talking about? Yeah. Yeah. I must have that way too.
I don't know the word in between extrovert and introvert. There's, I don't know,
ambivert or something like that. Yeah. Okay. I find myself, I'm definitely extroverted.
But if I'm somewhere and the topic is just not interesting, just like mom's the word.
So I'm like blackout and it's like, what'd you say? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm a good listener.
Yeah. We're just kind of talking about purpose. Like how do you identify that connecting
to someone's purpose is like a key to fulfilling their fulfillment? Yeah, well, just look at your
life, man, your life demonstrates it. So all those things that it sort of just talked about that you
can look at to see what's meaningful to you. Like when you're involved in something meaningful,
right? And I can give an example, kids are a great example, because kids bring a lot of
meanings to people's lives, right? So like a lot of people, they'll talk to me about their kids and
very specific experiences they've had with their kids and you see them light up, right? You see them
light up and you see their energy shift and change because they had such a profound experience, right?
And so it's like, that's why I mean, you beautiful kids, right? Like to develop in
brain and it's so challenging, man, like let's not even pretend that there's not insane challenges
that come with raising little humans, right? It's insane. But because it's so inspiring,
there's like this drive and this desire to continue and not just continue, but do it at like a high
level, right? And so that shows me that kids are like a top priority and I use kids, but for those
of you who are listening who are like, I don't feel that way about my kids, no judgment. That just
means that kids aren't your top priority, but probably your spouses. So you're going to delegate
to them and you might be focused on business to make it all good to you. It's no stress. That's the
protection of relationships. It's not a good thing or bad thing. So it's really paying attention
to that because it's like those things and that is I love business rather like I love business. So
it's like for me, it's like when something comes in business, it's like, okay, like this is hard,
but I'll get over it. And it's like, what are the things that I can do next, even if it's a hard
thing? And how do I like excel at this to like a greatest degree, right? And it's like, that's what
I want to do. That's what I want to focus on and not energize. That gives me energy. And so if I'm
focused on something that every day energizes you, that every day makes you feel inspired, that every
day is a challenge I want to overcome. Wouldn't it be natural to assume that we're going to feel
different? But if I'm focused on something every day that it's frustrating to me and it drains my
energy and I feel burnt out and I don't actually want to overcome the challenge, but I just have to
because it's like the life I had set up for myself, like that is not going to make me feel
I'm telling the folks I'm going to feel heavy. I'm going to feel potentially like upset or
depressed or whatever, like about my life, I'm going to wake up dreading the day instead of waking up,
looking forward to my day, no matter what I'm facing. And that's why it's like,
no matter what I'm doing with someone, no matter what we're working on, one of the underlying
factors is like at the end of a package, I want to get you focused on what that is. And I want to
make sure that every day you're incorporating it because I know if I don't see you again for five
years or something, because sometimes you know people just like to work on things and there's
like crazy urgencies, you're going to feel better, you're going to feel better every day. And I want
you to feel better every day and I want you to be more productive and I want you to feel like
more alive and fulfilled, right? And so it's, it's massively important. So it's funny, like no
matter what you work on with me, that's going to get in there. Whether you like it or not,
but you'll leave me later. Yeah. No, I was listening as I'm listening to what you're saying,
that that just, just all of this feels like fulfillment. Yeah. It just feels like fulfillment.
And I know in that, you know, you trying to find your purpose and trying to be inspired,
what's the difference between inspiration and motivation? Yeah. Okay. So inspiration comes
from within, right? So if I'm inspired to do something, right, I'll just do it no matter
what, I'll do it naturally. But if I'm not inspired to do something, it will take an
outside motivational force to help me get it done. This, and there's nothing wrong with that. That
just means it's not as much of a top priority. And so this is the difference between like,
I guess just like coaching in a sense of coaching to get you into inspiration and coaching as a
motivator. So if I'm only motivating you, and I'm only connecting with things that I need to like
get on the call, be your accountability partner, I'm not an accountability. If you're not holding
yourself accountable outside, we're not focused on the right stuff. That's it. Right? Because once
I'm gone, you can't pay me what you pay me every day, all day to hold you accountable. Like, no.
So it's like, if you were an accountable in between, it's no good or bad. It's like, let's reflect on
that and see what you liked, what you did it like. And let's get you focused on something that I don't
have to hold you accountable to do. That's inspiration. I don't have to hold you accountable.
Motivation, I have to hold you accountable. Right? And that's a huge difference. And it's
paralyzing and it's crippling. Right? It's definitely paralyzing and crippling. So if I'm
only focused on those things, once I'm gone, you all of a sudden become like hopeless and
helpless. And I'm like, I don't want that. So it's like, okay, what can we find that you're
inspired from within to do that in between my sessions with you, I see that you're taking
action moving forward, no, if you're going to do this, you know, you're going to do not just one
thing, but many things. And it's like, that's inspiration. Right? So there's no motivation
needed. No outside forces needed to get you there. And sometimes this isn't to say like, we can't
have the outside forces, by the way, because I take a boxing class and I love it. I love it.
So much. Will I sit at home and just practice boxing on my own? I won't. I am not going to,
right? But I do love the dynamic of going and learning from this individual, but I'm not
trying to be a boxer. If I was trying to be a boxer, like if I'm my own client, and I came and I
said, Hey, Carly, I want to be a boxer. I don't practice at home, but I take a boxing class a
couple of times a week. And I definitely want to be a boxer. I'd be like, not really. Because I
know that what it would take for me to actually be a boxer would be daily practice and intention
and investing in that. And so it's not to say that we can't have these outside motivational
forces, but you want to drop a fantasy just in case you're dedicating your life to something
that you don't show evidence, you don't have the internal inspiration to pursue.
Right. And so that's the difference. Like we could definitely have fun with it. But like,
if it's something I'm dedicating my life to, I want to make sure that every day I wake up
to do it no matter what, right? That if I don't have that outside motivation, I'm going to do it
anyways. And then we just kind of like Evan Pholm play with life and like those smaller areas that
it's like, yeah, I like boxing, but I'm definitely not dedicated to it. So I go to a class.
There you go. Do you think that people have a fantasy about
things, certain things that they put in their future? And then that and that comes from what?
Yeah, this is a great question, right? Because there's, and I really want to dive a little deeper.
We're going to extrapolate what a fantasy is because you could, you could have a fantasy,
like I can have a fantasy in my business, but I love business so much that it's just one part
of the business, right? Or you could have a fantasy on the whole business. So if I have a fantasy,
let's say of entrepreneurship, let's say my fantasy is entrepreneurship, the way that I'll
know that it's a fantasy is my life won't demonstrate that I'm moving into being an entrepreneur.
I may talk about it. I may like the idea of it, but I'm actually taking the actions to do it.
No. And so if I don't see actions there, then I know that that's not existing. That's not true.
I had an individual who was, you know, working with and it was, they were really focused on
being an actress, right? And it was interesting because they're like, that's my dream. That's
my dream. And when I started asking questions, I was like, okay, well, let's look at this. Like,
what are you doing right now to become an actress? Well, nothing else. So that's why I want to work
with you. And I was like, okay, so when was the last time you invested in it? 10 years ago. And I
said, so between 10 years ago and now, have you done anything? And they go, no, I just watch a
lot of movies and I think about it. You do not want to be an actress. Like you live in LA, like
you live in LA, like, come on, like there's opportunities left and right to get rejected. So
that demonstrates to me that this person has a fantasy and an unrealistic expectation on themselves
to be an actress. But then it was like, what are you actually focused on every day? Like, what
do you, what are you not hesitating on? What are you not procrastinating on? And we started to
get all the details. It was their relationships and their business. And so when we cleared the
fantasy of being an actress, they stopped trying to be an actress, just loved watching movies and
enjoyed it, and then really got to stop beating themselves up and focusing on relationships
and business. That was the top priority. How would extrapolates where it might not be like the whole
thing is a fantasy and just a part of it, right? Because I had an individual who I was working
with, who was like, I'm stuck in my business, I'm stagnant in my business, and I should should
be doing all this stuff in social media, and I'm not doing it. I should be doing like
webinars and all these things, right? Now, when I looked at their life, they were every day focused
on their business, but they weren't able to push forward in the social media and marketing. So
this is where I can see that the business is not a fantasy because there's action taken daily
towards it, but the social media is the fantasy, right? And so this is the key. It's like, it's
not that the whole thing's a fantasy. It's finding the parts that you're not doing on a daily basis,
finding the little things that you're like, I need to do this, I should do this, but you're not
invested in, and there's some sort of fantasy around there. In this particular case, when we
cleared like the fantasy around social media, we uncovered this, this person does not like social
media, like, but they're a ninja at speaking, and they love it live. And so it was like, okay,
would you rather do social media now? I just want to go put together these live workshops and speak
in front of groups. And she's like live. And I was like, I was like, yeah, because it was just
this perception and subordination that I have to do social media when there's a whole world out there
that doesn't give a crap about social media, not going to sign up with you. And she's already
demonstrating she gets a significant quantity of clients from in person. So that was the fantasy
of just a component. And so that's the cool thing to pay attention to it's like, look at the fantasy.
What is your life actually demonstrating? It's a fantasy. And it's not actually going to a
occur if it's not important to you, right? And sometimes we work on it, like with that one case
where it's like we worked on it and she actually didn't want to do social media. So she wound
up doing it. So she just dropped it, you know, the individual who thought they wanted to be an
actress just dropped it, you know, and just moved on. And sometimes this is like the only other thing
sometimes, especially if you're an entrepreneur and you're starting up, there are things that we
can't walk away from. Like especially sales, we'll say sales. So you're not doing sales,
we're not doing it like good luck there. So it is a yeah, technically right now,
it's not meaningful for you. So it's a fantasy. It's a fantasy to think you're going to be the
best salesperson, right? And there's a couple options here. If you can't drop something,
because this is really important, once you figure out this is a fantasy, I'm not going to do it.
If you can't drop it and you can't walk away from it, right, then it's time to think who can I
delegate it to. Delegation is a huge component and find the person who loves that dynamic that you
hate. So there's the delegation component there. And then there's also the dynamic of, you know,
if you can't afford to delegate, I call it like we link it, right? We link it to what's important
to you. So if I love personal development, and I had to do this with sales, by the way,
I love personal development growth, I understand that that's important to me. I was like, how
did it help my personal development to do sales? And I just kept answering that question over and
over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, hundreds of times,
until I got a tear of inspiration. And I was like, I can't wait to do this.
Yeah, because I couldn't drop it in the beginning. In the beginning, I couldn't delegate it. And now
I actually don't want to delegate it. I actually, I love it so much. And I get so much value out
of it. I know eventually, like, I mean, I have to, listen to me, I have to, I don't want to,
I love it so much, because I got so many links to it that now it's filling, right? But in the
beginning, I hated it. So it's like, yeah, that's another reflection to have as well.
So you've, that's, well, I would just say this, like in my business, I know that it's important
for social, well, not necessarily social media, but marketing. And it came to a point where like,
I just, I just couldn't do it. And so I had to delegate it. I had to, you know, get someone
from the outside to start to do the marketing. And I love the fact that somebody else is doing it.
That means I can focus on the more artistic and, you know, creative things that I love to do with
my business, which is, you know, which inspires me. So that's why I wake up in the morning at 530
or whatever and do my thing, you know, personal and, you know, physical, and then I get to get to
business. But I'm inspired every day because I don't, I relinquish all the stuff that I had a
fantasy about, you know, and it was, I was faking myself out. Like, I guess I'm doing marketing
by doing a little bit of something, a little bit of something and getting nor return. So I was like,
hey, I'm just faking myself out. And I had that realization. And finally passed it on. So I'm,
yeah, it's, it's a, it's a pleasure not to have it, especially when I don't want it.
It's a game changer too. Because it's like, now every day you wake up and you're like, oh,
I have to do marketing and you're like, nope, I'm just going to have someone else do that. And I
just get to focus on what I love. Exactly. And that brings me to my next point. You know,
individuals can get stuck or stagnant. Stuck is in the world of, you know, movement. That's what
it is. I know stuck is not a real thing for human beings, but if you can want to can feel stagnant.
Is there like a deeper issue behind why people feel stagnant? Or what is, yeah.
So you're stuck because you're not moving forward and you're not moving forward because you're
confused and you're confused because you've compared yourself to all this stuff and all
these people and all this crap out there. And they're all these shoulds in your head.
And so when we're stuck and we're sitting there and like, should I do this? Should I do that?
Should I do this? Should I do that? Like, that's not you. That's not what you want.
Like when you are certain on what you want, what do you do? You just want to move forward and
you want to take action on it. It's important to you. Right. And so it's like the top thing is
like, when someone's really stuck, I find out like, who are you comparing yourself to? What do
you think your life should be like supposed to be like? You know, I was just working with an individual
excuse me, who was just stuck and she was like, I don't know if I should be an entrepreneur or
if I should get a job. And it was crazy because when we started to see who they were comparing
themselves to, it was family members, right? And they were comparing themselves to certain family
members who had these certain expectations on them. But the truth is, and we got, this is the
moment, we started to talk about like past jobs and stuff. And then they said they were like,
this is why this one was wildly inspiring. And they're like, man, if I could do that again,
that would just wildly inspiring. And then they sort of disconnected. And they're like, I think
I should do the entrepreneurship though. And I said, stop. I was like, stop right there. I was
like, you just got lit up. Your whole energy shifted like the whole body like lifted up.
Your breath was lighter, like everything. And all I heard was wildly inspiring. I was like,
so why do you think you should be an entrepreneur? You know, and then it kind of was a comparison
to some friends of theirs that had already like had entrepreneurship business and really launched.
So when we cleared the comparisons, funny enough, like now they're out in the job market,
I think they're almost there. They're almost done. But now they're looking for that job that's
wildly inspiring. Right. And it's like, that's what they really wanted. And it was the core of
what they wanted. But there were so many shuds in their head because there was comparisons to family,
disappointing dad, disappointing mom, disappointing brother and sister, you know,
disappointing friends where the truth is, is like, while you're so worried about disappointing
everyone else, you disappointed yourself. And now you're stuck in stagnant, not moving
to something that they said is wildly inspiring. So when you're stuck, I like to figure out who
you're comparing yourself, where the shits coming from, where the half views, let's clear the crap
out of those and let's figure out like, what's that inspiring thing for you? And then you move
forward and it's like, yeah, that's what I want. That's what I want to do.
Yeah. There's so many questions I have in my head right now. I'm trying to figure out, well,
let's talk about, since like the people that you've worked with, there was, they were in one place,
they saw this light, and there was a transformation. What are some signs that people are really ready
to transform the life from that language of should, should, should to I am inspired by and
the beingness and doing this of who they are. Yeah, I mean, there's a willingness to work on it,
like they're just the reality is, is you just want to work on it, right? You want to work on it.
You want to work on it, you want to move through it, you understand you're in a pattern and
kind of reaching out is part of the help. And if I'm in a session with someone and they want to
work on it, some questions, they just want to get it done, you know, because sometimes it's hard.
If someone doesn't want to work on it, I don't see this as like a good or bad thing,
but I like to check in and find out why, right? So they might just be like, I don't want to do that.
And it's like, funny enough, this is why we're here. And also just ask the question, can we figure
out why? Because you might be getting something that you haven't quite yet seen. And then when we
start to see like the strategy behind potentially being stuck, sometimes you're not actually stuck.
Sometimes there's a pause there that serves a purpose. And then once we find why that purpose
is served, we look and we say, okay, how long is it necessary to be there? Because this is the first
step before the next step. And then they give me a timeframe. And I'm like, great. I'm like, okay.
So I'm like, basically, sometimes it's only like two weeks or something. And I'm like, okay, cool.
You want to reconnect on this one in two weeks and see how it goes. And they're like, yeah. And I'm
like, great, what do you want to work on today then? What's the top priority? Because that's not the
top priority. Because you have two more weeks of doing what you're doing before you get to the next step.
We have all these judges in our head of what life is supposed to look like. Part of asking the
questions is finding out, and this is why I love human behavior. We are a purposeful human being.
Why are you stuck? There's also a reason why you're stuck. You're also getting some sort of benefit
out of it. And I want to know what that is. Yeah, because if there's a benefit that maybe is
challenging, like sometimes people just get over supported, you know, and they're just like, it's
scared to do things on their own, then it's like, great, you're over supported. And now we found out
you're scared to do things on your own. Let's build up that confidence and that self-worth to make
sure that you know you're capable of doing this without the support, you know, or sometimes,
like I said, it's like a time frame or a period. And it's like, great, what's the time frame that
this personal step you're in right now is necessary to go through before we go to the next step,
you know, and we get all that data in detail. So again, we really have a lot of judgments on
how this thing should be, not realizing that things are the way that they're meant to be. And
when we ask questions, we can use the situation as a tool to help us dive deeper into what's next,
you know, or just like, let the situation be. And instead of fighting it, you can get through
that particular situation more quickly, because now you know why it's there. And so you're like,
well, nothing in the white tier, I know how to use it, you know, so it's a really cool dynamic.
How does one get out, get out of the world of judgment of themselves?
Time, and you'll never ever fully get out of it. Don't judge yourself for being in judgment.
It's impossible to ever completely turn to judgment. So yeah, even it's funny, because like
even the word, like a lot of the gurus, they talk about enlightenment, like I'm like, you're not
in like the whole meaning of the word is in life and life, you're in life. So if you're in light,
in your spirit, you don't exist, this body is physical matter, right? So you can't ever be in
life. And you're like, it's more about enjoying the human journey and like enjoying the experience
and loving these ebbs and clothes. So the reason why we can't ever transcend judgment, but we can
really work on it and hope ourselves accelerate on growth and move to like, I like to call higher
levels of judgment in a sense, right? And it's not really like a higher level, it's just that
you're moving forward in your inspired purpose. So your judgment starts to form. So for example,
podcasting, right? So it's like your first podcast, you're stressed out, you're nervous,
you're probably comparing yourself to a lot of people, right? And that's the particular judgment,
right? But then now you're podcasting for a lot longer, and you're probably comparing yourself
to some top podcasters, right? Then one day you'll be at that top podcasting stage. Who are you
comparing yourself to then? I'm not sure. But we keep going through these different judgments,
right? So the first time I spoke, it was like in front of two people, right? And so when I first
spoke in front of two people, it felt just as stressful as when I first spoke in front of 50
people. And one day if I'm in a stadium with 10,000 people, you don't think I'm not going to have
some sort of judgment? Like that's the first time in front of that quantity of people. I don't have
any illusion of that. I can sit in front of the 50, the 100, 500 and feel comfortable, right? But if
I get in front of a 10,000 person group, my brain's like, whoa, can I do that? And immediately I judge
myself because now I've questioned my capability, right? That's normal. I haven't done it yet. And
I'll compare myself to all the people, which is funny, I think about all the speakers and stuff
that I've seen talking in front of groups that large. And the first person that came to me was
Brunet Brown, by the way. So there it is right there. And I'm just kind of giving you an example
of how our mind works is my immediate judgment and comparison with Brunet Brown can do it,
but I'm not sure I can. So that means I've compared myself to her. I've placed a judgment on myself,
right? I've just placed a judgment on myself. And once I get to 10,000, if I ever want to
talk in front of a million, like what's next? And I was like, well, he does a million. I was like,
I think the poke does when he goes to speeches and stuff. And it's like, whoa, cool. And so it's
like, it's not that we're ever going to get rid of it. But if I work on this one, then I get to
move to the next one and the next one and the faster that we get to learn how to move through
these judgments, the faster we get to extend to that next level, which is super cool. Cause life
is short. Life is really shorter than we think. And even if I think I want to live through a
certain age, I don't know what could happen. I could walk in the street and get hit by a car.
I don't know. So it's like, my thing is, it's like, let's just get on it. Let's get inspired.
Let's get fulfilled and let's do the best that we can with like what we have today. And so,
yeah, that's why it's worth really working on all these judgments so you can accelerate it and get
more of those life experiences in the time that you have. Yeah. Yeah. With all this, well, first
I want to say that I guess when you go from level to level, the level of judgment does change.
But like you said, it's, you know, it will be, it will be there and it's really, I guess,
accepting and acknowledge what they are, when they are. I was, I had a podcast before this and
talking about comparison and what comparison myself to myself is okay. You know what I mean?
But comparison myself or someone compare themselves to someone else, you know,
it doesn't really work because, you know, it's like you, you, I'm in chapter one and I'm comparing
myself to someone's chapter 20, you know? Yes. And yes. That is, so I was working on that with
someone recently because they were comparing themselves. They're a newer coach. They're
super brilliant, super brilliant. But they've only been like, like they've just been studying their
whole life and super brilliant like moment and they've been in the coaching business for five
years and they're comparing themselves to one of their mentors who's been in the business for like
55 years. And I'm like, this is not an apples to apples situation. Like I can definitely clear the
judgment. We're going to help you see the what you have in like what you see on the outside. I'm
going to help you see what you have on the inside. There's some real unrealistic dynamics here.
You are not going to have the business this individual has. I took them 55 years to get there
and part of it was the, it's like the trial and error along the way, you know? And it's not to say
that you're not going to learn from this individual and they're going to help you with some of these
trials and errors to make it faster, right? And that's part of the benefits of having like coaches
and mentors and stuff, but simultaneously, like don't expect to have a 55 year old business in
five years, like simultaneously. So that's why those comparisons can really paralyze us because
you're comparing yourself to these people who have spent their whole entire lives like doing this
thing that maybe you just started, you know? And so that's really important. But when we use like
the comparison as a tool, like it's like, oh, well, you know, like what's interesting is they have
this and they're doing this for 55 years. And then it's like, okay, well, they have all this and
they do all this stuff and they're doing workshops and they're traveling. And it's like, yeah, let's
compare to that. And it's like, well, instead of saying, I don't have that so I'm a bad person or
I'm not good enough for all this stuff, it's like, how about do I want that? Would that be inspiring
to me? And then if it is, go look at what works for them, see if you like that dynamic and only
take the bits and pieces that work, right? Because if you try to mimic the whole thing, remember
that person created something in 55 years that really fits in Suitsa. But I bet there's little
components that you're like, I love doing this and I love doing that, but I don't want to touch
that part of what they're doing. Exactly. And that's where you can sort of like pull out pieces
that are inspiring without paralyzing yourself. Right. And I love what you said too, because it's
like comparing yourself on your own journey. Right. So it's like last year, compared to where I was
last year, am I comfortable with the progress that I made for this year? And I'm like,
realistically for sure. And I look back and I'm like, there's certain things that I didn't achieve
in the timeframe that I wanted, but then I look and I'm like, that was also unrealistic. And I'm
now, it's like the more that you do this and the more that you look back and you say, did I achieve
what I wanted? Was it realistic to achieve it in that timeframe? Or now am I looking back?
Like it wasn't realistic. And some of them like it wasn't realistic. And then other things,
yeah, it wasn't realistic. And other things I'll look and I'll be like, Ooh, I actually didn't,
I didn't account for like this other thing that was more important. So this got, this got like
sidebarred. And I was like, am I upset about that? And I'm like, no, because I'm focused on the top
priority. And so when we go back again, it's not judging even yourself when you compare
like your progress, like you actually want to see if something got sidebarred and didn't move forward.
Why was it sidebarred? Right. And sometimes it's sidebarred because we just have like a fear
or something. I'm like, well, I didn't address that. And that slowed me down there. So I'll look
at that and I'll be like top priority, address that fear, work on that ASAP, because I can see
that that's slowing you down. So we want to go look and almost extrapolate our life. Like we're
looking at a business, like if you're a profit and loss, you don't look at a profit and loss and
say shame on you. Shame on you for not doing what I said you did. You're like, yeah, you look at
your profit and loss and you're like, oh, this didn't happen because of this. And this didn't happen
because of this. And I want you to look at yourself that way as well. And then when you look at that,
you're more objective. And then you know how to move forward. Yeah. It's the objective
necessarily the motion and the feelings of it. For sure. Yeah. And in all that you were talking
about, just making a slight switch is when you're recognizing things and you're trying to live a
life by your design. How do you define that? The values and the purpose dynamic. I want everyone
and listen to it again, listen to the part where I talked about how to identify what's meaningful
to you. Like how things kind of show up in your life, then all the repetitive feelings that you're
inspired to do. And then I want people to genuinely sit down and think, how can I do these things
every single freaking day and plan around it? You're already going to be naturally doing it,
but I want you to add the extra um, by planning around it, I want you to organize your schedule
around it. I want you to look at your job if you're working, does your job like align with
something like that? And if it doesn't, can you give yourself permission to find a career path
that would fill your soul? Or there might even be, I've had this before too, people who have jobs
within a company where they're like, this one's not like feeding me and I'm kind of like, oh,
I have to be here for when I do this particular component, I'm like, wow, I can't wait to wake
up and come to work. If you tell your bosses that, there might actually be a position that they can
put you in and they're like, yeah, you are more productive here. A great company and a great manager
will want to put you in a position to be more productive. And if you say, I want to be more
productive, like that also is helpful. You know, if it's a business that you want to create, like,
what does that business look like? You know, if you want to spend more time with your kids,
like I had a client who want to spend more time with their kids, so they're coming up with a way
that they can create like a side job in a sense that would allow them to invest that time to
travel with their kids. You know, it's all these different things that like, what's meaningful to
you? How do you create a life that you can actually do that? One of my mentors said one time,
that a question that he asked is like, how can I make money doing what I love? Right? And I,
he just said, keep asking the question and I trusted him because quite frankly, I was like,
I love the question and I want that answer so bad. And everything that I love to do,
which sometimes costs a lot of money because transparently, I'm very into like one of my life
purposes, but it's restoring and maintaining natural beauty. I love it. That comes in houses,
architecture, like, like, I'll build, I'll definitely build a house. But like, if you see me buy a
house, I'm going to go for some mid-century modern thing and like restore it. It is expensive, by the
way. It is expensive. And I love fashion. And I'm like, oh, it's just so inspiring. And I like
travel around the world no matter where I go, I find places to shop and the places where there's
usually nowhere to shop. I find it. And I'm like, look at those in the construction. I go crazy.
So I love it. And that question, he made me ask over and over again about that stuff. How do I make
money doing what I love? And so even when I'm shopping, I just ask that question, how do I make
money doing this? How do I make money doing this? How do I make money doing this? And eventually,
I started to come up with ideas. And I started to get insights. And now my long-term future goal
includes what is big money shopping. And I'm like, that I can make money like with architecture and
all this stuff and art. And I was like, and it all sort of came together in like this little
package. And I remember when it hit me, I went to my husband and I was like, I did not see this.
But my life like demonstrated that I've been involved in this and this dynamic forever. And
now that's my long-term goal. And so just ask that question all day, every day, even if you don't get
an answer, because I promise you, like the more you ask the question, the more your brain starts
to focus on like, how do I find that answer? And then eventually it starts to link together.
And when it started to link together, I was like, thank you, I can't wait to make a money shopping.
I was like, that is so true for me. That's beautiful. Yeah, so great question.
And so anyone that's watching or listening, which medium, if they're at step zero, level zero,
and they hear the question, how do I live my life by design? It's right. Start by asking the questions.
I guess that inspires them. Yeah, the thing is, is like, think about it this way, if every day you
ask yourself, what's wrong with me? What do you eventually convince yourself that there's something
wrong with you? For sure. But if every day you're like, I wonder why I'm stuck, what could it be
that's keeping me stuck? And every day you ask that instead, what do you think would happen?
You would start to answer that question. And you would start to think, well, I'm not just stuck
because there's something wrong with me, like there must be something going on. And then the
deep dive naturally comes in and you attract people and experiences to start to answer that question.
And you're paying attention to it. Because now the mantra is a quality question. It's like when
people say you're doing affirmations, right? Like the take no credit, take no blame, just keep
focused on your chafing. That's definitely one of my affirmations. I usually think about it.
Love it, by the way. And funny enough, just another side note, whenever we, I tried to use it one
time as a tool when I, I'm very scared of heights and very afraid of heights. And we went on like
this adventure that just had train bridges everywhere and I was on a bike and there's just
thousands of feet under me. I just kept saying that over and over again. And it cleared my anxiety,
right? Because that was the affirmation, not pride, not shame. It's not about fear. It's just
about focus on your chiefing. And my chiefing was I really wanted to overcome this and I really
wanted to do this trail. Right? So it's really cool. So it's like, find those, when we have those
affirmations, we know that's the power of the affirmation. You repeat it over and over again,
and that was the result that I got. Right? And so that's why the affirmations are so important.
So now instead of saying an affirmation, what's wrong with me? I'm a ground zero. I can't do this.
Like what is the affirmation that could be a quality question that's getting your brain to
see things differently? And so all of a sudden, now every time I do something I love, my brain
naturally is hooked on and programmed to think, how can I create an inspiring income doing this?
Right? Because I've asked it so many times over and over again. And now I'm programmed to think.
And this is me reprogramming myself. Instead of like, when something's wrong, what's wrong with me,
even if I get like a hit of like, what's wrong with me? I'll immediately say there's nothing wrong
with me. You just listened to like something, Carly, because I am reprogramming my brain to
understand a truth. Right? And because of that, I'm paying attention to that to a greater degree.
So change the quality of your questions, get creative with your questions. Even in those
moments, ask yourself how you can reframe those questions. So you could retrain your brain to
see yourself and things differently. Change the questions. Change the quality of the question.
Yeah. Love that. Wow. I love that. In your journey, what makes what has made you most happy?
Just doing the things that I love all the time. Like, yeah, and really making sure that I incorporate
that. Yeah. And it's not even happy. It's actually just fulfilled. And like guys, I like I'm not like,
when I say it's important, I mean, it's important because the clothing thing can be really
discounted very quickly. Like societally, like that could be judged very efficiently,
effectively. I've judged it in myself. But like I bought something on vintage recently.
And I got it in and I put it on and I actually like I was so inspired by the garment and the
construction and the material. And it was just beautiful. And I put it on and I actually,
I call every time I buy something a home, my husband and me gets a fashion show.
And I cry tears of infusion. Like I'm so inspired by it, right? And so I could sit there and say,
I shouldn't do this because it's vain or it's this or that. But it's not to me. It's a,
like it's actually fulfilling and inspiring. So with every day, I'm focused on creating
opportunities. Like even with shopping, like obviously, like I value my finances, so I'm
cautious. But at the same, right, like I value finances. So I can't just like go crazy. But I
don't just stop it. When I tried to just stop it, I actually had a harder time saving and
investing money because I was like, well, what am I saving it for? Like I know that it's great for
me long term, but like now I can't have things that are inspiring. And when I started to just,
like just moderate it in a sense, like it really opened it up and I save and invest more and I
make more because I'm simultaneously building my long term future while not robbing myself of
things that are truly inspiring. So it's really important to get through those judgments. I love
to share the fashion one because it's so easy for us to judge and just pass off as like crap, right?
So whatever you're thinking in your mind that's fulfilling and inspiring that maybe you pass
off as crap, stop, just stop and figure out a way to incorporate it every day in a way that's
inspiring, which sometimes if I'm not like, you know, if I can't shop and I can't afford it,
sometimes I just look at pictures of runway or I have fashion magazines and stuff. Like I find a
way to connect with it in ways that are important to me and in spite. You know, so that's really
important. Find the ways, focus on what you love, get the things that fulfill you. And if you're
judging that, do it anyways and work through those judgments along the way. I love that. Yeah.
Carly, what legacy do you hope to leave through your work and your life's purpose?
Yeah, I would love to create like these experiences, the concrete experiences that help people transform
their lives, their minds, really connect them with their purpose and what's inspiring to them.
You know, part of it through coaching, like there's some other inspiring stuff that I'd
love to create. Like I'd love to create hotels one day. Like to me, that's a, you travel, you explore,
you get out of your headspace and you see all these different things that that light up your mind
and make you like remember. Like you've forgotten all the things that you've done. You want to
implement things. I want to create experiences that allow people to do that. Yeah. That's beautiful.
Carly, your energies, I've never used this word, but I'm going to use it, vivacious.
It's my biggest type of energy that you have. To share your mind, your knowledge, your experiences in
this hour or so, it's really appreciated. And I know that anybody that connects with you will
get connected to themselves authentically and find whatever that next thing is for them.
And how does one get in touch with you and be coached about you? Yeah. So head on over to my
website, which is the westcoastgrowthadvisors.com. Yeah. And you can reach out to me directly there.
That's a great start. Yeah. And we'll have your information in our right up and everything. And
I could, like you're another person, I could just have a conversation with like for another hour.
But I know time is time is time. And so I do appreciate you being on the Thrivebook Journey
podcast. Thank you very much. And for all the listeners and watchers, you know, what we say
about this time is let's make thriving our new normal. Carly, thank you so much for being on the show.
Appreciate you.