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Welcome to The Thravo Journey.

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We're a new podcast dedicated to empowering entrepreneurs

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to uncover and embrace their purpose here on earth.

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As multifaceted human beings,

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we strive to navigate our financial, mental, physical,

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and spiritual wellbeing.

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And that's what this podcast is all about.

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We're here to inspire, uplift, and equip you

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with the tools to thrive on your journey to greatness.

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All we ask in return is your support.

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One, subscribe to our YouTube channel

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or to download the podcast from your favorite platform.

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Your engagement, it helps us grow

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and attract incredible guests who will enrich your life

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with valuable insights and wisdom.

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Now in turn, we promise to keep bringing you content

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that enlivens, edifies, and elevates your journey,

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not just as an entrepreneur, but as a human being.

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And with that, I wanna thank you

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for being a part of The Thravo Journey.

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Yeah, I was reading about you

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and I was looking at the,

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you had a blend of Taoism, Buddhism, and Christianity

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in which I practice Neaturing Buddhism.

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So I knew that that had, you know,

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there's some similarities in all of those.

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How does that, those teachings play

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in your transformation of your journey?

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Different pieces at different times, of course, you know.

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But when, if I just bring a little piece

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of brain science in here and, you know,

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the Eastern masters knew this thousands of years ago

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and our neuroscientists are just proving it's true.

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But you really can't,

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quiet or turn off negative thinking or negativity.

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Because it's built into us for a survival instinct.

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We always have to be aware of dangers

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and be sensitive to dangers.

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You know, when we were in the jungle,

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we had to be aware of sounds and things

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that might present dangers to us.

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So our mind is always scanning for that.

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And we always are going to allow it

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into our conscious, our mind is always scanning

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for consciousness.

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So there's no real way of quieting it,

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but you can balance it by cultivating the opposite.

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What are the misconceptions that you find about meditation?

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Well, first of all, people think that meditation

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has something to do with quieting the mind

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and finding peace and serenity.

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And you don't meditate to do that.

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Now, as a side benefit, you may get that,

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but you don't do it for that.

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So the best thing I can say is,

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I mean,

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so there have been times I'm sure where,

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you know, you've been in a regular conversation

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with somebody and you really want to listen

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to what they're saying.

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And then at some point you realize

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that your mind drifted off.

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Yeah, it's happening.

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It happens all the time.

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And at some point though, you kind of like wake up,

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you know, you kind of get this little startle feeling

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that, oh, I'm not listening.

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Realize that you're not listening, right?

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And usually that's followed by a flood of judgments.

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Oh, I should have been listening

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now I'm not listening.

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Now I lost what he was going to say

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and how am I going to go back

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and I don't want to go back, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

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Right?

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Yeah, all the noise.

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After a couple of moments though,

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that noise quiets down and you go back

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and start listening again, right?

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So that's what meditation is,

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but we set it up artificially.

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Yeah.

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Oh,

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beat up, pull it and dunked on.

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Beat up, pull it and dunked on.

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We'll eat it and dunked on.

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Yeah.

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Let's get it.

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Welcome back to The Thraval Journey.

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Today we welcome an extraordinary gentleman, Bob Martin,

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a man whose life story reads like a blockbuster movie

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to me from the high stakes courtroom drama

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of Miami's cocaine cowboy era as a mob lawyer

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to become any certified meditation teacher

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and professor of wellness at Elon University.

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Bob's transformation is nothing short of remarkable.

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A two-time author, mindfulness guru

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and an expert in blending Taoist wisdom

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with modern brain science.

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Bob is here to share his journey of resilience,

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clarity and finding peace in life's chaos.

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So really let's just get ready to be entertained

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and inspired by Bob.

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How you doing, Bob?

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Thanks, Michael.

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I appreciate you having me on the show.

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I think you ought to take a moment

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to give yourself a pat on the back.

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Putting a podcast together is not an easy thing to do

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and it's gotta be an act of love

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just to create a platform for folks like me to come on

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and be able to share the stuff that we love.

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So I just really wanna thank you for that.

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I appreciate it.

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Yeah, I'll do that because no,

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it's not an easy quest.

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But I do have a partner, she helps produce,

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and it is a love.

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We find the love in being able to,

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and I find that a love in being able to have conversations

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with people like you who have great stories to tell

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and to share with the world.

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And it's just a joy to have that.

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And for people to get something

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from the stories that you have.

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So thank you.

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So thank you.

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Yeah, you're welcome.

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Let's really talk about,

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let's get you in the know of people

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and who is Bob Martin?

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Who is Bob Martin?

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Bob Martin is the son of some Eastern European,

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Hungarian dad and a Roma Gypsy mom.

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He grew up in an amusement park atmosphere.

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We were the popcorn cotton candy folks.

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And much to my father's dismay,

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I wound up becoming a lawyer.

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He says, he always thought of lawyers

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as blood sucking vultures.

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So.

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Okay.

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A lot of people may agree with that.

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It's funny when people say,

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oh, here's Bob Martin, he's a lawyer.

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I always say, please don't hold it against me.

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Yeah.

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But I started out my career in Miami during the 70s.

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And if anybody's ever seen the movie Scarface

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or the TV show Miami Vice,

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those were those days.

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And I will tell you from personal experience

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that that vibe that you get from that movie Scarface,

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that was Miami.

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It was that, that was the vibe that was there then.

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So I started out as a prosecutor.

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And I worked for Janet Reno.

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For those who don't know the names,

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he wound up being the attorney general

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in the Clinton administration.

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And we rose up in the office,

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had a pretty good career there

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and wound up in the economic crimes

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and consumer frauds division.

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And I got together with a federal task force

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and we wound up hitting the mob for a lot of money.

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When I see the mob in Miami,

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what I'm talking about is I'm talking about

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at that level where the Italians are speaking

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to the Columbians and the Haitians

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and the Cubans and the Peruvians.

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And everybody kind of cuts up their pathways

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to import in the import-export business, so to speak.

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Yeah.

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And so we hit them for a bunch of money.

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I went out in private practice

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and they came to me, the mob, Italian fella

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named Clollum Johnny.

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And basically he said,

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that'd be pretty good to beat our lawyers.

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And so we wanna start sending you some clients.

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And so I didn't become like conciliati,

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like advisor to the mob.

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I started getting a lot of referrals from them

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and hanging out with them.

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And so they were the cocaine cowboy days.

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And if I kind of confessionally, I'll tell you,

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I was hanging out with them

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and I was doing a lot of that stuff.

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And on a personal level, my life was kind of falling apart.

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Professionally, I was making a lot of money.

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I had a lot of respect.

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I was one of the top lawyers doing high profile cases

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and all that, but personally, not so great.

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Not so great.

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And I've seen a therapist

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and I came to a real important crossroads in my life.

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I asked my therapist, his name was George.

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Said, George, what should I do?

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And rather than giving me some therapeutic questions

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or the like, he picked up some coins

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and started shaking them in his hands

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and throwing them on the table

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and counting the heads and the tails

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and making some mathematical computations.

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And here I'm thinking, whoa,

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I'm paying this guy to be my therapist

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and now what is he gonna do?

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Pull out a bunch of tarot cards or something?

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Yeah.

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So I'm getting more and more pissed off,

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but finally he comes to the solution of his math

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and he comes up with the number

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and he opens this book to that chapter number

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and the title of the chapter was Retreat.

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And he shows it to me and I curse him out,

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stomp out of the office,

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but it's like that word got tattooed on my forehead,

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retreat, retreat.

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So I started pulling back from some of my

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excessive behaviors and it really,

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it really stopped me from going all the way down

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the rabbit hole.

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And I went back to George and I said,

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well, what was that thing that you did?

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And he says, well, Bob, that is something called

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the classical book of changes.

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It's called the Ai Qing.

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And I said, where does that come from?

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And he goes, it's Taoist.

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And I go, what's Taoism?

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And so I learned then that my therapist turned out

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to be a disciple and also the English language editor

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of, and did this, a 72nd generation

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Taoist master from the Shaolin temple.

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Really?

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Think about that 1400 years of wisdom being passed down

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from father to son to father to son.

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That's extraordinary.

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When you said 72nd generation, I'm like,

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that's years, thousands of years.

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About 1400 years.

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Yeah, I mean, it's crazy.

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And the Shaolin temple, that's where Kung Fu comes from

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and Tai Chi and Yang Yang and all that stuff.

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So those are all Taoist practices.

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So I didn't grow up with any kind of religion really.

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My folks, all of my ancestors were wiped out

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by one group or another.

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My folks, my dad's ancestors were wiped out

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by the Bolsheviks after the Russian revolution

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in the early part of the last century.

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And my mom was Roma Gypsy, you know,

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and everybody kind of blew them away.

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So they just didn't believe much in a merciful God.

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So I didn't grow up with that conversation.

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And so when I bent master knee, it was like,

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this guy just bowled me over.

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He was just absolutely, I'm sure, Michael,

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you run into some people that you meet them

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and you just go, wow, this guy's real.

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This is the real thing.

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And that's who he was.

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And so I wanted to study under him and learn under him.

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And I studied with George and master knee for eight years

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and it changed my life.

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Yeah, I was reading about you

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and I was looking at the,

269
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:56,560
you had a blend of Taoism, Buddhism and Christianity

270
00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:00,560
in which I practiced in Eastern Buddhism.

271
00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:02,960
So I knew that had, you know,

272
00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:05,080
there's some similarities in all of those.

273
00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:07,960
And how does that, those teachings play

274
00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:10,760
in your transformation of your journey?

275
00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:18,120
Different pieces at different times, of course, you know.

276
00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:24,280
But when, if I just bring a little piece

277
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:26,800
of brain science in here,

278
00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:31,800
and the Eastern masters knew this thousands of years ago

279
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:36,800
and our neuroscientists are just proving it's true.

280
00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:41,840
But you really can't quiet

281
00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:46,840
or turn off negative thinking or negativity.

282
00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:51,080
Because it's built into us for a survival instinct.

283
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,240
We always have to be aware of dangers

284
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:55,440
and be sensitive to dangers.

285
00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:57,560
You know, when we were in the jungle,

286
00:13:57,560 --> 00:14:00,360
we had to be aware of sounds and things

287
00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:01,800
that might present dangers to us.

288
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,680
So our mind is always scanning for that.

289
00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:08,560
And we always are going to allow it into our consciousness.

290
00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:11,280
So there's no real way of quieting it,

291
00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:16,280
but you can balance it by cultivating the opposite,

292
00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:19,360
by cultivating loving kindness and compassion.

293
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:24,360
And you can actually build up the other side of your brain

294
00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:29,760
and use that to dampen or govern, you know,

295
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:32,080
your negative impulses.

296
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:36,280
And so through my teachings with master knee and the like,

297
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:41,200
you know, we did that.

298
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:45,080
We cultivated, intentionally cultivated things like

299
00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:48,880
loving kindness, gratitude, generosity and the like.

300
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:52,040
And at some point in that process,

301
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:55,900
Michael, your heart opens.

302
00:14:55,900 --> 00:14:59,580
And you can feel it happen.

303
00:15:00,620 --> 00:15:03,660
And once that occurs, you know,

304
00:15:03,660 --> 00:15:06,380
the only thing that you want to be the main purpose

305
00:15:06,380 --> 00:15:11,260
in your life is to reduce suffering among other folks.

306
00:15:11,260 --> 00:15:14,260
And so whatever you do, whatever business you do

307
00:15:14,260 --> 00:15:16,300
and engage in and however you decide

308
00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:17,380
that you want to make money,

309
00:15:17,380 --> 00:15:20,380
you always have this consciousness, you know,

310
00:15:20,380 --> 00:15:24,300
of doing no harm and trying to make a difference

311
00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:27,140
with everybody that you come into contact with.

312
00:15:27,140 --> 00:15:30,340
And the funny part about it is not only is that

313
00:15:31,620 --> 00:15:35,980
giving you a happy life, but it also is good for business.

314
00:15:35,980 --> 00:15:36,820
Yeah.

315
00:15:36,820 --> 00:15:38,800
You know, when you take care of your customers

316
00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:40,940
with kindness and compassion and care

317
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:44,700
and real attention to what their needs are,

318
00:15:44,700 --> 00:15:46,460
you know, they're gonna come back to you.

319
00:15:46,460 --> 00:15:47,300
Yeah.

320
00:15:48,180 --> 00:15:52,100
It's like you're caring for their immediate need,

321
00:15:52,100 --> 00:15:54,900
but there's something else deeper there

322
00:15:54,900 --> 00:15:58,660
you're connecting with to have them, you know,

323
00:15:58,660 --> 00:16:01,980
get your services returned to you for whatever reason.

324
00:16:01,980 --> 00:16:02,900
Yes, sir.

325
00:16:02,900 --> 00:16:03,740
When you...

326
00:16:03,740 --> 00:16:05,540
And as well with the people that you supervise

327
00:16:05,540 --> 00:16:06,580
and that you manage.

328
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,660
Well, if you really care, you know,

329
00:16:09,660 --> 00:16:12,660
to make sure that you give them the information

330
00:16:12,660 --> 00:16:14,180
that they need to do a good job.

331
00:16:14,180 --> 00:16:15,540
To do a good job, yeah.

332
00:16:15,540 --> 00:16:20,260
That you gently, you know, help to guide them and the like

333
00:16:20,260 --> 00:16:24,180
and that you really put an effort into their progress.

334
00:16:24,180 --> 00:16:25,700
They don't ever forget that.

335
00:16:25,700 --> 00:16:27,180
Mm-hmm.

336
00:16:27,180 --> 00:16:28,020
Yeah.

337
00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:33,020
It's the saying that you may forget what somebody says to you

338
00:16:33,020 --> 00:16:35,100
but you'll never forget how they made you feel.

339
00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:35,940
Yeah.

340
00:16:35,940 --> 00:16:36,780
Yeah.

341
00:16:36,780 --> 00:16:37,620
That's true.

342
00:16:37,620 --> 00:16:38,460
That's your connection.

343
00:16:38,460 --> 00:16:43,100
So would you have an extraordinary story

344
00:16:43,100 --> 00:16:45,060
from my perspective?

345
00:16:45,060 --> 00:16:47,300
I'm pretty sure for others.

346
00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:52,300
You know, you talked about in the cocaine cowboy era

347
00:16:52,780 --> 00:16:54,500
you were very arrogant.

348
00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:55,340
Mm-hmm.

349
00:16:55,340 --> 00:16:58,940
But it changed, you changed, you transformed

350
00:16:58,940 --> 00:17:01,780
into the person that we're talking to now.

351
00:17:01,780 --> 00:17:05,780
What was the biggest like transformation?

352
00:17:05,780 --> 00:17:08,580
I know that you did do the training with Ai-ching

353
00:17:08,580 --> 00:17:10,980
but what was the transformation that sticks out to you?

354
00:17:10,980 --> 00:17:17,980
What story can you tell about that?

355
00:17:18,460 --> 00:17:19,380
Well, so many.

356
00:17:19,380 --> 00:17:20,700
Let me just...

357
00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:21,540
Ha ha ha.

358
00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:38,300
Well, I really haven't shared this in publicly

359
00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:43,300
but as you asked me the question I can't get away from it.

360
00:17:44,020 --> 00:17:44,860
So...

361
00:17:44,860 --> 00:17:46,020
Okay.

362
00:17:46,020 --> 00:17:50,940
So in my meditation training, okay, again, remember,

363
00:17:50,940 --> 00:17:55,380
I grew up without a conversation around God

364
00:17:55,380 --> 00:17:58,660
or angels or demons or devils

365
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:01,220
or any kind of supernatural beings.

366
00:18:01,220 --> 00:18:04,660
You know, Taoism talks about energy

367
00:18:04,660 --> 00:18:07,860
and the flow of energy through the universe and the like

368
00:18:07,860 --> 00:18:11,420
and you know, because we understand that there is electricity

369
00:18:11,420 --> 00:18:13,420
and that it does do work,

370
00:18:13,420 --> 00:18:16,900
it's not hard to buy into that idea.

371
00:18:16,900 --> 00:18:20,900
But the idea of having a connection

372
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:25,900
with an intelligent energy was beyond my touch.

373
00:18:28,620 --> 00:18:32,820
So I'm at a silent retreat for a week

374
00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:37,460
and we do this exercise called body scan in the morning.

375
00:18:37,460 --> 00:18:39,300
And when you do a body scan,

376
00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:44,300
the guidance, the guiding teacher will say things like,

377
00:18:45,220 --> 00:18:50,220
okay, bring your attention to the big toe of your left foot.

378
00:18:51,420 --> 00:18:54,500
Just notice whatever physical sensations might be there

379
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:56,140
and if there aren't any, it's okay.

380
00:18:56,140 --> 00:18:58,380
Just notice that there aren't any.

381
00:18:58,380 --> 00:18:59,660
Just bring your attention there.

382
00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:02,660
And if you feel a slight tingling, that's fine.

383
00:19:02,660 --> 00:19:04,100
And if you don't, it's okay.

384
00:19:04,980 --> 00:19:06,900
Just bring your attention there.

385
00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:09,620
Notice whatever physical sensations are present

386
00:19:09,620 --> 00:19:12,540
and then when you're ready, bring your attention

387
00:19:12,540 --> 00:19:14,900
to all of the toes of your left foot.

388
00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:16,980
And then you go through your left foot and your heel

389
00:19:16,980 --> 00:19:18,660
and you know, all the way up your leg

390
00:19:18,660 --> 00:19:22,220
and you scan your entire body, noticing.

391
00:19:22,220 --> 00:19:24,300
And the whole idea of it is to reconnect

392
00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:27,380
with your physical sensations.

393
00:19:27,380 --> 00:19:31,740
Because what we learn later is that your emotions

394
00:19:31,740 --> 00:19:34,340
are nothing more than physical sensations

395
00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:36,580
and thoughts that are combined.

396
00:19:36,580 --> 00:19:39,500
And so learning more about the physical sensations

397
00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:41,860
being able to identify gives you a little bit more

398
00:19:41,860 --> 00:19:45,180
of the ability to manage your emotions

399
00:19:45,180 --> 00:19:46,460
from the physical end of it.

400
00:19:46,460 --> 00:19:48,860
So that's why we do the meditation.

401
00:19:48,860 --> 00:19:51,460
And then once we scan the body,

402
00:19:51,460 --> 00:19:54,820
we start imagining ourselves breathing in

403
00:19:54,820 --> 00:19:57,740
to the entire body, not just to our lungs

404
00:19:57,740 --> 00:19:59,500
but breathing into our body.

405
00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:04,500
And just having that mental imagery of connecting.

406
00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:08,780
And then I was there and about halfway through this,

407
00:20:08,780 --> 00:20:13,780
one particular time, I took a breath in.

408
00:20:14,740 --> 00:20:19,100
And for me, it was unmistakable.

409
00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:23,260
There was the presence of an energy in my body

410
00:20:23,260 --> 00:20:25,060
that filled my whole body.

411
00:20:26,340 --> 00:20:31,340
And you know, I can't describe it adequately.

412
00:20:31,340 --> 00:20:36,340
It's just for me, at that moment,

413
00:20:38,140 --> 00:20:41,340
I understood that there was an intelligence,

414
00:20:41,340 --> 00:20:43,980
there was a consciousness.

415
00:20:43,980 --> 00:20:46,580
That was something that was outside of me

416
00:20:46,580 --> 00:20:50,220
that was there and that I connected and touched.

417
00:20:50,220 --> 00:20:52,660
And after that experience, you know,

418
00:20:52,660 --> 00:20:54,180
it's one of those things like, you know,

419
00:20:54,180 --> 00:20:57,860
when people say you can't unsee it,

420
00:20:57,860 --> 00:20:59,660
I never unfeel it.

421
00:20:59,660 --> 00:21:00,740
It was there.

422
00:21:00,740 --> 00:21:02,340
I would say, you know, for me,

423
00:21:02,340 --> 00:21:06,500
that was, you know, a major transformational moment

424
00:21:06,500 --> 00:21:07,380
in my life.

425
00:21:10,020 --> 00:21:11,340
Yeah.

426
00:21:11,340 --> 00:21:15,700
And this is, now you've been practicing at this time,

427
00:21:15,700 --> 00:21:19,100
you know, your spiritual practice.

428
00:21:19,100 --> 00:21:21,220
Was that just a kind of like an elevation

429
00:21:21,220 --> 00:21:23,180
to where you are now?

430
00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:28,500
I'm sorry, give me, ask me again.

431
00:21:28,500 --> 00:21:32,380
So you were, this is like when you get that experience.

432
00:21:33,700 --> 00:21:38,700
This was past, you know, your Cabo Era days

433
00:21:39,380 --> 00:21:40,940
and you were now practicing.

434
00:21:42,660 --> 00:21:46,220
Was that an elevation into like a deeper sense

435
00:21:46,220 --> 00:21:47,620
of what you were practicing?

436
00:21:47,620 --> 00:21:52,620
I remember Jack Cornfield wrote a book that said, you know,

437
00:22:01,300 --> 00:22:03,380
after the enlightenment.

438
00:22:03,380 --> 00:22:08,380
And it relates to a story where the student is coming

439
00:22:09,740 --> 00:22:12,060
to the master and says, master, master,

440
00:22:12,060 --> 00:22:13,180
I think I'm enlightened.

441
00:22:13,180 --> 00:22:14,740
I've been enlightened.

442
00:22:14,740 --> 00:22:16,020
And he goes, no, no, you haven't.

443
00:22:16,020 --> 00:22:18,060
Go back and practice some more.

444
00:22:18,060 --> 00:22:19,820
And he comes back and he goes, no, master,

445
00:22:19,820 --> 00:22:20,660
I'm enlightened now.

446
00:22:20,660 --> 00:22:23,020
He goes, no, no, go back and practice some more.

447
00:22:23,020 --> 00:22:25,660
So finally, you know, after several times,

448
00:22:25,660 --> 00:22:29,700
the student comes in, he truly, you could see

449
00:22:29,700 --> 00:22:32,020
that there was this change.

450
00:22:32,020 --> 00:22:34,060
And he says, I have felt it.

451
00:22:34,060 --> 00:22:36,060
I am enlightened.

452
00:22:36,060 --> 00:22:37,780
And he said, yes, you are.

453
00:22:37,780 --> 00:22:41,220
And so the student says, now that I've been enlightened,

454
00:22:41,220 --> 00:22:42,220
what?

455
00:22:42,220 --> 00:22:43,060
What's next?

456
00:22:43,060 --> 00:22:44,380
What now, right?

457
00:22:44,380 --> 00:22:45,700
What now?

458
00:22:45,700 --> 00:22:49,900
And the teacher says, the laundry.

459
00:22:51,180 --> 00:22:56,180
So, you know, you have these experiences

460
00:22:57,740 --> 00:23:01,020
and you have these, you know, aha moments in these things.

461
00:23:01,020 --> 00:23:03,700
And then, you know, you have to go and do the laundry

462
00:23:03,700 --> 00:23:05,860
and you have to get up the next morning and go to work.

463
00:23:05,860 --> 00:23:09,180
And, you know, you have the same troubles and trials

464
00:23:09,180 --> 00:23:12,620
and other things, but you always have deep within you

465
00:23:12,620 --> 00:23:15,100
this sense and this knowledge that, you know,

466
00:23:15,100 --> 00:23:18,060
there is something that's greater than you.

467
00:23:18,060 --> 00:23:23,060
And I think that that concept, that if you,

468
00:23:24,100 --> 00:23:29,100
that the understanding that my ego, my identity,

469
00:23:32,940 --> 00:23:36,980
my shield of protecting who I am are the things

470
00:23:36,980 --> 00:23:39,220
that actually imprison me.

471
00:23:39,220 --> 00:23:43,900
And when I can let go of my shields that are up there

472
00:23:43,900 --> 00:23:48,420
to protect my vulnerability, the very, you know,

473
00:23:48,420 --> 00:23:52,260
unusual thing happens that I become invulnerable.

474
00:23:52,260 --> 00:23:54,340
I mean, if I can live my life saying,

475
00:23:54,340 --> 00:23:56,820
hey, I am what I am and I is what I is

476
00:23:56,820 --> 00:23:59,340
and I'm Popeye the Sailor Man, you know,

477
00:23:59,340 --> 00:24:00,940
whatever you see is what you get,

478
00:24:00,940 --> 00:24:02,380
it's real hard to hurt me.

479
00:24:04,220 --> 00:24:05,060
Yeah.

480
00:24:05,060 --> 00:24:07,940
And it's so counterintuitive because we think

481
00:24:07,940 --> 00:24:12,940
we have to protect ourselves when lowering the shields

482
00:24:12,940 --> 00:24:15,340
is really the ultimate protection.

483
00:24:16,300 --> 00:24:17,860
And it's just how counterintuitive.

484
00:24:17,860 --> 00:24:22,100
So when you begin to understand that your ego

485
00:24:22,100 --> 00:24:26,100
is really insignificant and you start to live your life

486
00:24:26,100 --> 00:24:28,100
for something greater than yourself,

487
00:24:29,260 --> 00:24:34,260
that's when you find happiness and joy

488
00:24:34,260 --> 00:24:37,180
and unbridled joy, unrestrained joy.

489
00:24:38,940 --> 00:24:41,860
I don't know if I'm getting too touchy feely here.

490
00:24:41,860 --> 00:24:46,700
No, well, there's the spiritual part

491
00:24:46,700 --> 00:24:47,700
of everything you're saying,

492
00:24:47,700 --> 00:24:50,620
but then there's also the human part

493
00:24:50,620 --> 00:24:54,980
where we're living in a world day to day

494
00:24:54,980 --> 00:24:59,260
and we're bombarded with all these things on the outside,

495
00:24:59,260 --> 00:25:02,780
be it social media, be it the news, politics,

496
00:25:02,780 --> 00:25:04,340
you know, whatever it may be.

497
00:25:05,580 --> 00:25:09,020
And we're engulfed by all this stuff, right?

498
00:25:09,020 --> 00:25:13,300
And what then is there that we can connect to

499
00:25:13,300 --> 00:25:15,980
that would kind of take us away from that

500
00:25:15,980 --> 00:25:19,300
and connect us to something that's greater than who we are?

501
00:25:19,300 --> 00:25:22,460
Yeah, yeah, it's a great question.

502
00:25:22,460 --> 00:25:25,980
So that's where I think, you know,

503
00:25:25,980 --> 00:25:30,980
meditation comes in and is very, very helpful.

504
00:25:32,340 --> 00:25:34,260
And it kind of connects, you know,

505
00:25:34,260 --> 00:25:37,340
with our understanding of how the brain works now,

506
00:25:37,340 --> 00:25:40,300
like I say, the ancient Eastern masters,

507
00:25:40,300 --> 00:25:42,500
they knew this 4,000 years ago.

508
00:25:42,500 --> 00:25:45,820
And our present brain scientists are only now confirming

509
00:25:45,820 --> 00:25:50,220
that what they understood is the reality of our brain.

510
00:25:52,260 --> 00:25:55,100
So if I could just get into brain science

511
00:25:55,100 --> 00:25:57,100
for just a little bit to answer.

512
00:25:57,100 --> 00:25:58,900
I was going there, but go ahead, jump in.

513
00:25:58,900 --> 00:26:03,900
Okay, so we have a right and left hemispheres of the brain.

514
00:26:04,500 --> 00:26:05,500
Everybody knows that.

515
00:26:05,500 --> 00:26:09,660
And the front of the brain is called the prefrontal cortex.

516
00:26:09,660 --> 00:26:12,660
Now the right side of the prefrontal cortex

517
00:26:12,660 --> 00:26:15,700
is where our sympathetic nervous system is

518
00:26:15,700 --> 00:26:18,540
our fight, flight, stress response.

519
00:26:19,500 --> 00:26:24,500
The left side is our rest and digest relaxation response

520
00:26:24,900 --> 00:26:27,740
or the parasympathetic nervous system.

521
00:26:27,740 --> 00:26:30,940
So this is what endowism we call yin and yang.

522
00:26:32,180 --> 00:26:35,220
These are the countervailing forces.

523
00:26:35,220 --> 00:26:37,420
Now everybody would say, oh, I wish, you know,

524
00:26:37,420 --> 00:26:39,180
I was all left brain, but you know,

525
00:26:39,180 --> 00:26:41,340
if you were all left brain,

526
00:26:41,340 --> 00:26:43,940
you'd be kind of scattered in kumbaya

527
00:26:43,940 --> 00:26:46,420
and everybody's nice and you never get anything done.

528
00:26:47,460 --> 00:26:50,500
You need to have a little stress in your life, you know,

529
00:26:50,500 --> 00:26:52,900
to motivate you, you know,

530
00:26:52,900 --> 00:26:56,700
if you know that the roof needs to be patched,

531
00:26:56,700 --> 00:26:58,600
yeah, I'll get to it someday.

532
00:26:59,500 --> 00:27:04,140
If it starts to leak, you get stressed, you go fix it.

533
00:27:04,140 --> 00:27:05,380
Right, right.

534
00:27:05,380 --> 00:27:08,660
So you need to have that right side

535
00:27:08,660 --> 00:27:11,900
that's gonna motivate you and cause you to move forward

536
00:27:11,900 --> 00:27:13,700
and take care of issues.

537
00:27:13,700 --> 00:27:15,700
Sometimes you need to punch through.

538
00:27:17,020 --> 00:27:19,380
And you don't wanna be like, you know,

539
00:27:19,380 --> 00:27:22,060
blood dripping from your fangs, aggressive,

540
00:27:22,060 --> 00:27:24,500
and you know, go to war.

541
00:27:24,500 --> 00:27:27,340
You need the other side, which is healing and compassionate

542
00:27:27,340 --> 00:27:29,500
and everything else to balance it out.

543
00:27:29,500 --> 00:27:30,340
Yeah.

544
00:27:30,340 --> 00:27:33,140
Now what brain science has found is just like you say,

545
00:27:33,140 --> 00:27:37,180
you get this barrage of stuff coming at you.

546
00:27:37,180 --> 00:27:40,660
And the reason that most of it is negative

547
00:27:40,660 --> 00:27:44,820
and the reason that we're aware of most of the negativity

548
00:27:44,820 --> 00:27:49,820
is because our brain evolved to be especially sensitive

549
00:27:49,820 --> 00:27:53,540
to anything that is dangerous.

550
00:27:54,500 --> 00:27:58,340
Now, when life is simple, like in the jungle, you know,

551
00:27:58,340 --> 00:28:02,820
it's a tiger or a snake or a poison berry,

552
00:28:02,820 --> 00:28:07,100
something like that, we tune into that immediately.

553
00:28:07,100 --> 00:28:10,300
And our brain is designed to do that.

554
00:28:10,300 --> 00:28:13,620
Unfortunately, in our modern life,

555
00:28:13,620 --> 00:28:16,980
those kinds of dangers aren't tigers and snakes anymore.

556
00:28:16,980 --> 00:28:19,380
They are deadlines.

557
00:28:19,380 --> 00:28:21,460
They are bottom lines.

558
00:28:21,460 --> 00:28:24,660
They are, you know, profits versus losses.

559
00:28:24,660 --> 00:28:28,820
They are, you know, they are all of these things.

560
00:28:28,820 --> 00:28:33,620
And it's a chronic, undifferentiated type of threat

561
00:28:33,620 --> 00:28:35,940
that causes us to have this chronic,

562
00:28:35,940 --> 00:28:39,380
undifferentiated, you know, stress.

563
00:28:40,700 --> 00:28:43,260
And stress on a physical level,

564
00:28:43,260 --> 00:28:47,220
it actually cortisol, which is one of the hormones

565
00:28:47,220 --> 00:28:51,620
that dumps into your body, it actually dissolves

566
00:28:51,620 --> 00:28:56,620
and it erodes the protective coating on our nervous system.

567
00:28:56,620 --> 00:29:00,660
So we get edgy and jumpy and more quick to anger

568
00:29:00,660 --> 00:29:03,220
and the like over time.

569
00:29:03,220 --> 00:29:06,460
So what the Eastern masters learned

570
00:29:06,460 --> 00:29:09,100
and what the brain scientists tell us

571
00:29:09,100 --> 00:29:12,340
is that there's not a thing you can do to suppress it.

572
00:29:13,780 --> 00:29:16,220
You can't turn it off.

573
00:29:16,220 --> 00:29:17,860
You can't.

574
00:29:17,860 --> 00:29:22,620
What you can do though, is you can intentionally

575
00:29:22,620 --> 00:29:25,660
and consciously build up the electrical activity

576
00:29:25,660 --> 00:29:27,180
on the left side of your brain.

577
00:29:28,500 --> 00:29:29,340
Okay.

578
00:29:29,340 --> 00:29:34,340
You expose yourself to beauty and awe and love

579
00:29:34,540 --> 00:29:36,900
and kindness and generosity.

580
00:29:36,900 --> 00:29:40,780
And by building that up, you return to balance.

581
00:29:40,780 --> 00:29:42,100
Okay.

582
00:29:42,100 --> 00:29:45,540
And that governs that negative side.

583
00:29:45,540 --> 00:29:47,980
And so what we learn in meditation

584
00:29:47,980 --> 00:29:49,860
and what you learn when your heart opens

585
00:29:49,860 --> 00:29:54,860
is that the path is not to stop doing stuff.

586
00:29:54,860 --> 00:29:59,380
It's to start doing stuff that gives you joy.

587
00:30:00,260 --> 00:30:02,620
And it's also what I'm also hearing is,

588
00:30:02,620 --> 00:30:05,580
it's the acknowledgement of what those things are,

589
00:30:05,580 --> 00:30:10,580
but then having a tool to balance those issues.

590
00:30:12,180 --> 00:30:13,020
Right.

591
00:30:13,020 --> 00:30:14,660
And we're talking, you know, podcast is,

592
00:30:14,660 --> 00:30:17,100
and the emphasis on, you know, entrepreneurs,

593
00:30:17,100 --> 00:30:20,540
but you know, our audience is more than that.

594
00:30:20,540 --> 00:30:23,820
So what can you speak to as far as like steps

595
00:30:23,820 --> 00:30:26,140
for people to take when,

596
00:30:27,580 --> 00:30:29,500
I'll just use myself as an example,

597
00:30:29,500 --> 00:30:31,580
like when I have all these different projects

598
00:30:31,580 --> 00:30:36,580
that I'm doing and it may not seem like it right then

599
00:30:37,140 --> 00:30:41,020
and there, but there's the influx of information, right?

600
00:30:41,020 --> 00:30:43,700
And then sometimes I'll get so much of the influx

601
00:30:43,700 --> 00:30:48,700
of the information that I'll just freeze, you know?

602
00:30:49,220 --> 00:30:51,420
And then I know that I have to kind of just stop,

603
00:30:51,420 --> 00:30:54,060
get away from it, walk outside for a minute,

604
00:30:54,060 --> 00:30:57,300
take some breaths and then do kind of like a,

605
00:30:57,300 --> 00:31:02,300
look a walking meditation, just so I can get back to self.

606
00:31:02,420 --> 00:31:05,980
You know, what would your steps be for people

607
00:31:05,980 --> 00:31:10,380
that either they freeze or just get scattered

608
00:31:10,380 --> 00:31:14,660
or whatever the response would be to that.

609
00:31:14,660 --> 00:31:15,500
Overland.

610
00:31:15,500 --> 00:31:16,420
Okay.

611
00:31:16,420 --> 00:31:18,380
So this is what I would say.

612
00:31:18,380 --> 00:31:20,420
Somebody asked me a different question once.

613
00:31:20,420 --> 00:31:25,420
They said, because we were talking about like getting a feel

614
00:31:25,940 --> 00:31:29,500
for the dynamic of the energy of the time that you're in.

615
00:31:30,420 --> 00:31:32,540
Now, like if you and I are speaking

616
00:31:32,540 --> 00:31:36,740
and I have a great idea and I wanna share it with you,

617
00:31:36,740 --> 00:31:38,780
but you're not in the mood to listen,

618
00:31:39,660 --> 00:31:44,020
I would be wasting my time by trying to force you to listen.

619
00:31:44,020 --> 00:31:47,580
That's the time is just such that you're not listening.

620
00:31:47,580 --> 00:31:51,940
So the more effective and efficient thing to do

621
00:31:51,940 --> 00:31:53,700
would be to pull back a little bit,

622
00:31:53,700 --> 00:31:57,500
to retreat a little bit and go over what it is

623
00:31:57,500 --> 00:31:58,340
that I wanna tell you.

624
00:31:58,340 --> 00:32:00,580
Maybe I could refine it a little bit more.

625
00:32:00,580 --> 00:32:03,220
Maybe I could think about your particular listening

626
00:32:03,220 --> 00:32:05,140
and how to say it in a way.

627
00:32:05,140 --> 00:32:07,500
So then when you turn to me and you say,

628
00:32:07,500 --> 00:32:10,580
now what was it that you wanted to tell me?

629
00:32:10,580 --> 00:32:14,380
I am ready to say it in a much more effective, efficient way.

630
00:32:14,380 --> 00:32:15,220
Right.

631
00:32:15,220 --> 00:32:20,220
It conserves my energy and it also refines my presentation.

632
00:32:21,060 --> 00:32:24,460
So I've become more effective and more efficient

633
00:32:24,460 --> 00:32:26,640
and yet I have expended less effort.

634
00:32:27,940 --> 00:32:28,780
Right?

635
00:32:28,780 --> 00:32:29,620
Yeah.

636
00:32:29,620 --> 00:32:31,220
Because I haven't spent the force,

637
00:32:31,220 --> 00:32:34,420
I haven't spent the effort to try to force you to listen

638
00:32:34,420 --> 00:32:36,220
when you weren't ready.

639
00:32:36,220 --> 00:32:39,540
And there's all kinds of times there are times to progress

640
00:32:39,540 --> 00:32:42,220
and times to retreat and times to wait

641
00:32:42,220 --> 00:32:46,260
and times to punch through and the like.

642
00:32:46,260 --> 00:32:50,420
So if you become sensitive to those times, it's helped.

643
00:32:50,420 --> 00:32:52,460
So I'm trying to get to my point.

644
00:32:52,460 --> 00:32:53,780
I'm sorry, it's taken a bit.

645
00:32:53,780 --> 00:32:54,620
It's okay.

646
00:32:54,620 --> 00:32:55,460
It's okay to learn.

647
00:32:55,460 --> 00:32:56,300
I'm gonna ask you more.

648
00:32:56,300 --> 00:32:57,140
I'm gonna ask you more.

649
00:32:57,140 --> 00:32:58,420
Somebody once asked me, well, you know,

650
00:32:58,420 --> 00:33:00,940
you say that there's a time to retreat,

651
00:33:00,940 --> 00:33:03,820
but you know, I mean, isn't retreat surrendering?

652
00:33:05,420 --> 00:33:10,420
And so what I said, the answer to that was no,

653
00:33:10,420 --> 00:33:14,660
if the retreat is surrendering,

654
00:33:14,660 --> 00:33:18,980
then what happened was you missed the proper time to retreat.

655
00:33:20,820 --> 00:33:21,940
You missed it.

656
00:33:21,940 --> 00:33:22,780
Okay.

657
00:33:22,780 --> 00:33:25,300
You went past it and then you became in chaos.

658
00:33:25,300 --> 00:33:27,260
You got immersed in chaos.

659
00:33:27,260 --> 00:33:29,880
And cause the proper time to retreat

660
00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:32,960
is when you could pull back with enough energy

661
00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:34,860
to regroup and come forward again.

662
00:33:34,860 --> 00:33:35,700
And then go forward again.

663
00:33:35,700 --> 00:33:38,300
You missed it and now you're lost.

664
00:33:38,300 --> 00:33:39,140
Mm-hmm.

665
00:33:39,140 --> 00:33:42,740
So now I'll get back to your question.

666
00:33:42,740 --> 00:33:47,740
So if you are getting to the point where you say,

667
00:33:48,180 --> 00:33:49,340
I just gotta break this.

668
00:33:49,340 --> 00:33:50,180
I gotta take a walk.

669
00:33:50,180 --> 00:33:53,180
I gotta get out of here and stop,

670
00:33:53,180 --> 00:33:56,460
then perhaps you missed the time

671
00:33:56,460 --> 00:33:58,100
that you should have pulled back.

672
00:33:59,260 --> 00:34:04,260
So by becoming aware of how you felt

673
00:34:04,260 --> 00:34:09,260
when you finally became overwhelmed and said,

674
00:34:09,620 --> 00:34:12,660
I gotta stop, if you become sensitive

675
00:34:12,660 --> 00:34:16,300
to exactly what that feels like to be overwhelmed,

676
00:34:16,300 --> 00:34:20,020
then what will probably happen is you'll be able to sense

677
00:34:20,020 --> 00:34:22,860
when that overwhelm starts growing.

678
00:34:22,860 --> 00:34:23,700
Yeah.

679
00:34:23,700 --> 00:34:27,700
I was gonna ask you, when are you able to sense that?

680
00:34:27,700 --> 00:34:28,540
Right.

681
00:34:28,540 --> 00:34:30,820
So it's just a matter of practice.

682
00:34:30,820 --> 00:34:33,700
It's just a matter of when you start feeling overwhelmed

683
00:34:33,700 --> 00:34:36,660
you ask yourself questions like,

684
00:34:36,660 --> 00:34:39,460
where am I feeling this in my body?

685
00:34:39,460 --> 00:34:41,820
When did I first start feeling this?

686
00:34:41,820 --> 00:34:45,460
What are my thoughts when I am feeling this way?

687
00:34:45,460 --> 00:34:47,620
You just start inquiring,

688
00:34:47,620 --> 00:34:51,100
like how, what is this feeling?

689
00:34:51,100 --> 00:34:52,460
What is it?

690
00:34:52,460 --> 00:34:54,780
Physically, what is it mentally?

691
00:34:54,780 --> 00:34:57,100
And then ask yourself,

692
00:34:57,100 --> 00:35:00,900
when did I start feeling I was becoming overwhelmed?

693
00:35:00,900 --> 00:35:01,740
Mm-hmm.

694
00:35:01,740 --> 00:35:04,980
So if you ask yourself those questions,

695
00:35:04,980 --> 00:35:08,100
you'll be able to identify it fairly simply.

696
00:35:08,100 --> 00:35:11,460
And by doing that a few times,

697
00:35:11,460 --> 00:35:14,660
then maybe not the next time,

698
00:35:14,660 --> 00:35:16,900
but maybe the next time or the next time,

699
00:35:16,900 --> 00:35:19,700
as you start to feel overwhelmed,

700
00:35:19,700 --> 00:35:22,900
you say, wait, let me take a two minute break

701
00:35:22,900 --> 00:35:27,180
instead of a 15 minute break, that littler break.

702
00:35:27,180 --> 00:35:30,540
It's, you know, you ever watch people doing yoga

703
00:35:30,540 --> 00:35:32,780
and they're doing the tree pose?

704
00:35:32,780 --> 00:35:35,780
They have one leg down and they got one leg on their knee

705
00:35:35,780 --> 00:35:38,820
and they look like they're standing so stable.

706
00:35:40,300 --> 00:35:43,900
If you look at their foot, the foot's going,

707
00:35:45,060 --> 00:35:46,260
Yeah, there's little,

708
00:35:46,260 --> 00:35:49,660
it's making these little adjustments, right?

709
00:35:49,660 --> 00:35:51,860
To stay in balance.

710
00:35:51,860 --> 00:35:54,140
So I think we wanna get to a point

711
00:35:54,140 --> 00:36:01,140
where we can start making those little adjustments as we go,

712
00:36:01,140 --> 00:36:03,460
rather than having to make a big adjustment

713
00:36:03,460 --> 00:36:05,340
when we get to overwhelm.

714
00:36:05,340 --> 00:36:08,420
What's up Thriveau journey listeners and watchers?

715
00:36:08,420 --> 00:36:11,900
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716
00:36:11,900 --> 00:36:14,260
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717
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718
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719
00:36:18,220 --> 00:36:21,580
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720
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721
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722
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723
00:36:33,020 --> 00:36:36,500
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724
00:36:36,500 --> 00:36:37,860
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725
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726
00:36:39,620 --> 00:36:41,580
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727
00:36:41,580 --> 00:36:43,500
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728
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729
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730
00:36:47,700 --> 00:36:50,980
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731
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732
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733
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734
00:36:57,780 --> 00:37:00,140
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735
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736
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737
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738
00:37:06,940 --> 00:37:09,340
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739
00:37:09,340 --> 00:37:10,420
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740
00:37:10,420 --> 00:37:14,180
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741
00:37:14,180 --> 00:37:17,420
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742
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743
00:37:20,260 --> 00:37:22,500
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744
00:37:22,500 --> 00:37:24,060
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745
00:37:24,060 --> 00:37:29,060
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746
00:37:29,060 --> 00:37:31,020
All right, we're doing the spot.

747
00:37:31,020 --> 00:37:32,500
Let's get back to the podcast.

748
00:37:34,940 --> 00:37:37,940
There's a lot of things that I'm learning now

749
00:37:37,940 --> 00:37:41,620
and through different podcasts about balance.

750
00:37:41,620 --> 00:37:44,900
Like, you know, again, I say this before,

751
00:37:44,900 --> 00:37:47,460
but that, you know, like riding a bike,

752
00:37:47,460 --> 00:37:50,860
you find balance, but sometimes when you don't ride a bike

753
00:37:50,860 --> 00:37:53,060
for a while, you got to find balance

754
00:37:53,060 --> 00:37:56,780
and those are just small, you know,

755
00:37:57,820 --> 00:37:59,700
you know, small ways you have to, you know,

756
00:37:59,700 --> 00:38:02,180
correct yourself to the left or to the right.

757
00:38:02,180 --> 00:38:07,180
And I think that there's a practice as being human,

758
00:38:08,820 --> 00:38:13,540
and being human, that we need in order to find

759
00:38:13,540 --> 00:38:16,900
and continually create balance for ourselves.

760
00:38:16,900 --> 00:38:17,740
Yes, yes.

761
00:38:19,100 --> 00:38:22,100
And I know that a lot of that comes through

762
00:38:22,100 --> 00:38:23,620
people who do meditate.

763
00:38:23,620 --> 00:38:28,620
What are the misconceptions that you find about meditation?

764
00:38:28,980 --> 00:38:31,180
Well, first of all, people think that meditation

765
00:38:31,180 --> 00:38:33,780
has something to do with quieting the mind,

766
00:38:33,780 --> 00:38:35,660
and finding peace and serenity.

767
00:38:36,700 --> 00:38:41,700
And you don't meditate to do that.

768
00:38:41,700 --> 00:38:46,700
Now, as a side benefit, you may get that,

769
00:38:47,460 --> 00:38:50,460
but you don't do it for that.

770
00:38:50,460 --> 00:38:55,460
So the best thing I can say is, I mean,

771
00:39:01,020 --> 00:39:03,700
so there have been times I'm sure where, you know,

772
00:39:03,700 --> 00:39:06,020
you've been in a regular conversation with somebody

773
00:39:06,020 --> 00:39:09,060
and you really want to listen to what they're saying.

774
00:39:09,060 --> 00:39:10,660
And then at some point you realize

775
00:39:10,660 --> 00:39:12,660
that your mind drifted off.

776
00:39:12,660 --> 00:39:15,100
Yeah, it's happening.

777
00:39:15,100 --> 00:39:16,740
It happens all the time.

778
00:39:16,740 --> 00:39:21,740
And at some point though, you kind of like wake up,

779
00:39:22,060 --> 00:39:25,220
you kind of get this little starting feeling that,

780
00:39:25,220 --> 00:39:27,180
oh, I'm not listening.

781
00:39:27,180 --> 00:39:30,140
You realize that you're not listening, right?

782
00:39:30,140 --> 00:39:35,140
And usually that's followed by a flood of judgments.

783
00:39:36,060 --> 00:39:39,380
Oh, I shouldn't have, I shouldn't have been listening

784
00:39:39,380 --> 00:39:40,660
and now I'm not listening.

785
00:39:40,660 --> 00:39:42,420
Now I lost what he was gonna say

786
00:39:42,420 --> 00:39:43,940
and how am I gonna go back

787
00:39:43,940 --> 00:39:46,100
and I don't want to go back, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

788
00:39:46,100 --> 00:39:47,540
Yeah, all the noise.

789
00:39:47,540 --> 00:39:50,100
After a couple of moments though,

790
00:39:50,100 --> 00:39:53,380
that noise quiets down and you go back

791
00:39:53,380 --> 00:39:56,100
and start listening again, right?

792
00:39:57,380 --> 00:40:00,220
So that's what meditation is,

793
00:40:00,220 --> 00:40:03,180
but we set it up artificially.

794
00:40:03,180 --> 00:40:05,300
And we set it up in such a way

795
00:40:05,300 --> 00:40:08,580
so that you can have that exact same experience

796
00:40:08,580 --> 00:40:10,360
over and over again,

797
00:40:11,300 --> 00:40:15,900
so that the experience of it becomes routine

798
00:40:17,300 --> 00:40:19,580
instead of emotional.

799
00:40:19,580 --> 00:40:23,940
And that produces all kinds of insights.

800
00:40:23,940 --> 00:40:28,140
So the way we set it up is we say,

801
00:40:28,140 --> 00:40:32,740
let's form an intention to put our attention on our breath

802
00:40:32,740 --> 00:40:33,920
or on a candle.

803
00:40:35,020 --> 00:40:38,380
So I'm gonna do that.

804
00:40:38,380 --> 00:40:40,300
So then within three seconds,

805
00:40:40,300 --> 00:40:42,220
my mind goes off and I'm thinking about,

806
00:40:42,220 --> 00:40:43,580
did I leave the stove on?

807
00:40:43,580 --> 00:40:45,700
What's my wife gonna say when I get home?

808
00:40:45,700 --> 00:40:47,140
I didn't forget the grocery,

809
00:40:47,140 --> 00:40:49,660
when I'm done, have I fed the dogs?

810
00:40:50,500 --> 00:40:52,220
Blah, blah, blah.

811
00:40:52,220 --> 00:40:53,820
And then at some point, you go,

812
00:40:53,820 --> 00:40:58,380
oh, I'm not paying attention to the candle.

813
00:40:58,380 --> 00:41:00,820
And that's followed by a flood of judgments.

814
00:41:00,820 --> 00:41:03,180
I'm doing it wrong, I can't keep focus,

815
00:41:03,180 --> 00:41:05,460
I'm not concentrating.

816
00:41:05,460 --> 00:41:07,380
And then after a while, that all quiets down

817
00:41:07,380 --> 00:41:09,580
and you go back to putting your attention

818
00:41:09,580 --> 00:41:10,620
on the candle again.

819
00:41:10,620 --> 00:41:13,060
Then your mind goes off again,

820
00:41:13,060 --> 00:41:16,020
and then you wake up and you come back

821
00:41:16,020 --> 00:41:17,520
and you begin again.

822
00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:20,380
And this happens several times.

823
00:41:20,380 --> 00:41:22,780
So what comes out of that,

824
00:41:22,780 --> 00:41:24,700
and it's really experiential,

825
00:41:24,700 --> 00:41:26,180
I can describe it to you,

826
00:41:26,180 --> 00:41:29,260
but like the Buddha said,

827
00:41:29,260 --> 00:41:31,900
the finger pointing at the moon is not the moon.

828
00:41:33,700 --> 00:41:34,820
I can describe it,

829
00:41:34,820 --> 00:41:38,020
but you really have to just experience it.

830
00:41:38,020 --> 00:41:41,300
But at some point, you start noticing

831
00:41:42,260 --> 00:41:45,100
that you're noticing your thinking.

832
00:41:46,180 --> 00:41:49,460
Because now that you've done it a few times

833
00:41:49,460 --> 00:41:51,980
and it's no longer weird or odd to you,

834
00:41:51,980 --> 00:41:53,500
it's just kind of routine.

835
00:41:54,580 --> 00:41:56,340
You kind of like get it that,

836
00:41:56,340 --> 00:41:58,300
oh, I'm looking at my judgments

837
00:41:58,300 --> 00:42:00,700
or I'm watching my thinking.

838
00:42:01,740 --> 00:42:04,780
And very, once you notice that you're watching

839
00:42:04,780 --> 00:42:06,700
and you're thinking,

840
00:42:06,700 --> 00:42:10,060
you get this amazing thing happens.

841
00:42:11,020 --> 00:42:12,980
And that thing is you go,

842
00:42:12,980 --> 00:42:15,400
oh, I'm not my thoughts.

843
00:42:16,860 --> 00:42:18,400
I'm watching my thoughts.

844
00:42:19,420 --> 00:42:21,660
I am not my thoughts.

845
00:42:21,660 --> 00:42:25,180
And that is that alone,

846
00:42:25,180 --> 00:42:27,820
once that happens, you can't ever unforgettable.

847
00:42:27,820 --> 00:42:30,020
You can't ever unknow it.

848
00:42:30,020 --> 00:42:32,300
Because then you know that when you say,

849
00:42:32,300 --> 00:42:36,340
I had a thought, you will always ask yourself,

850
00:42:36,340 --> 00:42:39,660
who is the I that had the thought?

851
00:42:41,140 --> 00:42:43,060
And so I'm no longer my thoughts.

852
00:42:43,060 --> 00:42:45,180
I am the creator of my thoughts.

853
00:42:46,300 --> 00:42:48,540
Because for the most part,

854
00:42:48,540 --> 00:42:52,180
we all believe that we are our thoughts,

855
00:42:52,180 --> 00:42:56,580
like that old, you know, like that toy store toys are us.

856
00:42:56,580 --> 00:42:58,620
You know, thoughts are us.

857
00:42:58,620 --> 00:42:59,700
Thoughts are us.

858
00:42:59,700 --> 00:43:01,020
Thoughts are us, right?

859
00:43:01,020 --> 00:43:03,140
I have a thought and I have bias.

860
00:43:03,140 --> 00:43:06,140
I have a judgment about somebody or about myself

861
00:43:06,140 --> 00:43:08,060
or that committee in my head says,

862
00:43:08,060 --> 00:43:09,660
you're not good enough.

863
00:43:09,660 --> 00:43:11,700
I mean, that's my truth.

864
00:43:11,700 --> 00:43:14,380
Because I thought it becomes my truth.

865
00:43:14,380 --> 00:43:18,040
And when I realized that I'm not my thoughts,

866
00:43:19,420 --> 00:43:23,060
all of a sudden your thoughts become clouds passing

867
00:43:23,060 --> 00:43:25,820
in the sky, some little electric pulse

868
00:43:25,820 --> 00:43:27,900
that's floating through your brain.

869
00:43:27,900 --> 00:43:29,020
You can't hold them.

870
00:43:29,020 --> 00:43:30,220
You can't sell them.

871
00:43:30,220 --> 00:43:32,260
You can't trade them.

872
00:43:32,260 --> 00:43:33,940
I mean, they are,

873
00:43:35,300 --> 00:43:38,220
they come from somewhere and they're here for a moment

874
00:43:38,220 --> 00:43:39,460
and then they're gone.

875
00:43:41,060 --> 00:43:45,780
And when you start to get that in this little practice

876
00:43:45,780 --> 00:43:50,780
of just wandering, waking up, returning, beginning again,

877
00:43:51,140 --> 00:43:52,300
wandering, waking up.

878
00:43:52,300 --> 00:43:55,060
So you're not quieting your mind, you're allowing it.

879
00:43:55,060 --> 00:43:55,940
You're allowing it to be.

880
00:43:55,940 --> 00:43:57,460
You're allowing it.

881
00:43:57,460 --> 00:43:59,260
You're not restricting it.

882
00:43:59,260 --> 00:44:01,500
You're just letting it do what it wants to do.

883
00:44:01,500 --> 00:44:03,820
And I often think it's kind of like,

884
00:44:03,820 --> 00:44:08,660
it's kind of like a little bratty kid in your head.

885
00:44:08,660 --> 00:44:11,980
And it wants to bother you with all these stupid thoughts.

886
00:44:11,980 --> 00:44:13,260
Needs all the attention.

887
00:44:13,260 --> 00:44:15,260
Yeah, and when you give it your attention,

888
00:44:15,260 --> 00:44:16,180
you start to stop it.

889
00:44:16,180 --> 00:44:17,620
I don't want to think this anymore.

890
00:44:17,620 --> 00:44:19,180
It's like you energize it.

891
00:44:20,380 --> 00:44:24,060
But when you let it be, when you allow it to just be

892
00:44:24,060 --> 00:44:26,140
and you just sit back and say, well,

893
00:44:26,140 --> 00:44:27,660
that's an interesting thought.

894
00:44:27,660 --> 00:44:29,540
I wonder where that one came from.

895
00:44:29,540 --> 00:44:31,820
It's like the same thing as a child

896
00:44:31,820 --> 00:44:33,940
who's being bratty in a room and you say,

897
00:44:33,940 --> 00:44:36,900
you know, I don't want to play that game.

898
00:44:36,900 --> 00:44:38,260
I'm going to go in the other room.

899
00:44:38,260 --> 00:44:40,660
I'm going to deprive you of my attention.

900
00:44:41,660 --> 00:44:43,660
Let you do whatever you want to do.

901
00:44:43,660 --> 00:44:45,500
They very quickly get bored of it

902
00:44:45,500 --> 00:44:47,780
and they let you, they come over.

903
00:44:47,780 --> 00:44:50,660
And your thoughts do the same thing.

904
00:44:50,660 --> 00:44:53,620
You know, what you resist persists,

905
00:44:53,620 --> 00:44:55,900
but what you can be with will let you be.

906
00:44:55,900 --> 00:44:58,540
And so it's all counterintuitive

907
00:44:58,540 --> 00:45:02,860
and you start to explore this counterintuitive

908
00:45:02,860 --> 00:45:06,140
metacognition of watching your thoughts

909
00:45:06,140 --> 00:45:08,100
and you start to, you know,

910
00:45:08,100 --> 00:45:11,620
become more understanding of yourself.

911
00:45:11,620 --> 00:45:14,540
And after you see, you know, you watch

912
00:45:14,540 --> 00:45:16,380
and you see the same thought coming up

913
00:45:16,380 --> 00:45:19,460
and it's a thought like, you know, you're not good enough.

914
00:45:19,460 --> 00:45:23,620
Well, if my brain tells me I'm not good enough

915
00:45:23,620 --> 00:45:26,060
and it does it every once in a while,

916
00:45:26,940 --> 00:45:29,300
it's going to affect me badly.

917
00:45:29,300 --> 00:45:33,460
But if I see it over and over and I see it a hundred times,

918
00:45:33,460 --> 00:45:36,980
I'm going to get so bored and sick of it and tired of it

919
00:45:36,980 --> 00:45:38,580
that I'm going to disempower it.

920
00:45:38,580 --> 00:45:40,940
I'm going to say, look at this stupid.

921
00:45:40,940 --> 00:45:43,860
I can't believe that this thought has been running my life.

922
00:45:43,860 --> 00:45:44,700
Yeah.

923
00:45:44,700 --> 00:45:45,540
Yeah.

924
00:45:45,540 --> 00:45:49,020
And so when you get to that point, it goes away.

925
00:45:49,020 --> 00:45:51,500
You can't make it go away.

926
00:45:51,500 --> 00:45:56,420
You can only allow it to come and get bored of being here

927
00:45:56,420 --> 00:45:57,980
and then it kind of goes away.

928
00:45:59,900 --> 00:46:04,140
All that I have so much to ask,

929
00:46:04,140 --> 00:46:07,420
but let me try to streamline it a little bit.

930
00:46:09,300 --> 00:46:11,300
Just saying in the world of neuroscience,

931
00:46:11,300 --> 00:46:15,500
when you're going back to the beginning of this conversation,

932
00:46:15,500 --> 00:46:19,740
when you're noticing what you're noticing about your thoughts,

933
00:46:19,740 --> 00:46:21,780
is there, you're in a certain place,

934
00:46:21,780 --> 00:46:23,140
is there a name for that?

935
00:46:23,140 --> 00:46:24,540
Is a name for that place?

936
00:46:25,780 --> 00:46:27,540
Metacognition.

937
00:46:27,540 --> 00:46:28,540
Metacognition.

938
00:46:28,540 --> 00:46:33,540
Metacognition is the process of thinking about your thinking.

939
00:46:34,340 --> 00:46:35,300
Okay.

940
00:46:35,300 --> 00:46:36,140
Okay.

941
00:46:36,140 --> 00:46:36,980
I've heard the word.

942
00:46:36,980 --> 00:46:37,980
I didn't know that that's what it meant.

943
00:46:37,980 --> 00:46:38,820
Okay, perfect.

944
00:46:38,820 --> 00:46:40,140
That's what science is called,

945
00:46:40,140 --> 00:46:41,900
the process of thinking about your thinking.

946
00:46:41,900 --> 00:46:45,860
And you know, and we all know that when we metacognate,

947
00:46:45,860 --> 00:46:48,940
we almost feel we're in two places at the same time.

948
00:46:48,940 --> 00:46:49,780
Mm-hmm.

949
00:46:49,780 --> 00:46:50,620
Mm-hmm.

950
00:46:50,620 --> 00:46:54,220
So here, when people talk about peace and serenity

951
00:46:54,220 --> 00:46:56,900
and stability and the like,

952
00:46:56,900 --> 00:47:01,460
they're not talking about some mood that comes over you

953
00:47:01,460 --> 00:47:05,940
and transcends you and transports you away from life.

954
00:47:05,940 --> 00:47:06,780
Mm-hmm.

955
00:47:08,020 --> 00:47:12,420
It is this metaphor.

956
00:47:12,420 --> 00:47:17,420
So most of the time, we live life

957
00:47:17,420 --> 00:47:20,340
like we're floating on a log going down a river.

958
00:47:21,980 --> 00:47:22,820
Okay?

959
00:47:22,820 --> 00:47:23,660
Okay.

960
00:47:23,660 --> 00:47:25,980
And the river is life.

961
00:47:25,980 --> 00:47:28,740
And the log is our thoughts.

962
00:47:28,740 --> 00:47:31,700
And we're just writing our thoughts going down the river.

963
00:47:31,700 --> 00:47:32,540
Okay.

964
00:47:32,540 --> 00:47:34,860
Sometimes the river is nice and calm.

965
00:47:34,860 --> 00:47:36,220
Life is good.

966
00:47:36,220 --> 00:47:37,500
I got everything I need.

967
00:47:37,500 --> 00:47:38,780
I'm comfortable.

968
00:47:38,780 --> 00:47:40,940
But then it gets a little choppy.

969
00:47:40,940 --> 00:47:42,860
And then there's white water.

970
00:47:42,860 --> 00:47:44,860
Then there are waterfalls.

971
00:47:44,860 --> 00:47:46,380
Then there are floods

972
00:47:46,380 --> 00:47:48,380
that sweep away your home.

973
00:47:48,380 --> 00:47:49,980
I mean, there's disaster.

974
00:47:49,980 --> 00:47:54,980
There's all kinds of characteristics of the river.

975
00:47:56,100 --> 00:47:58,700
And if you're just writing on that log,

976
00:47:58,700 --> 00:48:02,380
you're going to experience the full width and breadth

977
00:48:02,380 --> 00:48:04,460
of everything life can give you.

978
00:48:05,500 --> 00:48:08,220
The goods, the bads, the ugly, the ups, the downs,

979
00:48:08,220 --> 00:48:10,540
the dangers, the calmness, all of that.

980
00:48:12,260 --> 00:48:14,700
We never wanna leave that alone

981
00:48:14,700 --> 00:48:18,660
because that's important for us to be able to gauge

982
00:48:18,660 --> 00:48:20,300
how we respond to stuff.

983
00:48:20,300 --> 00:48:22,780
We need to know what the river's doing.

984
00:48:23,980 --> 00:48:27,220
If the river's flooding, we need to be protecting ourselves.

985
00:48:27,220 --> 00:48:30,020
If the river's nice and calm, we need to be relaxing.

986
00:48:30,020 --> 00:48:32,340
We need to know that.

987
00:48:32,340 --> 00:48:37,020
But when you are in metacognition,

988
00:48:37,020 --> 00:48:41,380
when you're watching your thoughts,

989
00:48:41,380 --> 00:48:42,740
like I said, we just said,

990
00:48:42,740 --> 00:48:46,300
you feel like you're in two places at the same time.

991
00:48:46,300 --> 00:48:51,300
So from the log, life can be ups and downs and roller coaster.

992
00:48:52,340 --> 00:48:54,660
But from the place of thinking about your thinking,

993
00:48:54,660 --> 00:48:58,500
it's like climbing up on the bank of the river

994
00:48:58,500 --> 00:49:01,340
and watching yourself on the log.

995
00:49:01,340 --> 00:49:04,540
Now, from the bank of the river,

996
00:49:05,780 --> 00:49:10,140
your objective, your stable, your calm,

997
00:49:10,140 --> 00:49:14,220
you're not emotional, you're stable and peaceful.

998
00:49:15,940 --> 00:49:20,780
So that's where the stability of meditation comes from.

999
00:49:20,780 --> 00:49:25,780
We get more skillful in being able to pay more attention

1000
00:49:27,620 --> 00:49:30,260
to the part of us that's on the river bank

1001
00:49:31,340 --> 00:49:34,140
than the part of us that's in the river.

1002
00:49:34,140 --> 00:49:39,140
This is us noticing what we're noticing.

1003
00:49:40,820 --> 00:49:45,820
Now, that's pretty deep.

1004
00:49:45,820 --> 00:49:50,820
And there is a practice that needs to happen

1005
00:49:51,020 --> 00:49:54,940
in order for that to actually occur in our lives, right?

1006
00:49:56,220 --> 00:50:01,220
As people are in this 225, in this space in our lives,

1007
00:50:01,220 --> 00:50:06,220
how does one go about, again, with all the outside noise,

1008
00:50:07,460 --> 00:50:11,460
how does one go about really creating that for themselves?

1009
00:50:11,460 --> 00:50:14,220
And noticing that they are actually doing it.

1010
00:50:15,540 --> 00:50:20,020
So you go to the gym and the first mission you get on

1011
00:50:20,020 --> 00:50:21,660
might be the treadmill.

1012
00:50:21,660 --> 00:50:24,300
And it's gonna be flat and you're gonna be going

1013
00:50:24,300 --> 00:50:26,860
at two miles an hour, three miles an hour,

1014
00:50:26,860 --> 00:50:28,380
and you're walking flat.

1015
00:50:28,380 --> 00:50:31,340
As you get a little bit more skillful with it,

1016
00:50:31,340 --> 00:50:33,180
you're gonna give it a little tilt

1017
00:50:33,180 --> 00:50:35,140
and if you get a little bit more skillful,

1018
00:50:35,140 --> 00:50:37,140
you might move to an elliptical.

1019
00:50:37,140 --> 00:50:39,140
Then you might start jogging,

1020
00:50:39,140 --> 00:50:41,460
then you might start working with weights.

1021
00:50:41,460 --> 00:50:43,980
So it's the same thing.

1022
00:50:43,980 --> 00:50:48,980
So the initial process is just what I've already described.

1023
00:50:48,980 --> 00:50:55,980
It's no more difficult than taking a few minutes to put your attention on something and watching your mind wander.

1024
00:50:55,980 --> 00:51:00,980
And there are lots of guided meditations that will guide you through that process.

1025
00:51:00,980 --> 00:51:05,980
Of course, I have to say, there's nothing like a coach.

1026
00:51:05,980 --> 00:51:08,980
If you wanna learn yoga, you can do it.

1027
00:51:08,980 --> 00:51:09,980
You can do it.

1028
00:51:09,980 --> 00:51:10,980
You can do it.

1029
00:51:10,980 --> 00:51:11,980
You can do it.

1030
00:51:11,980 --> 00:51:12,980
You can do it.

1031
00:51:12,980 --> 00:51:13,980
You can do it.

1032
00:51:13,980 --> 00:51:14,980
You can do it.

1033
00:51:14,980 --> 00:51:15,980
You can do it.

1034
00:51:15,980 --> 00:51:16,980
You can do it.

1035
00:51:16,980 --> 00:51:20,980
If you wanna learn yoga, you can learn it from apps

1036
00:51:20,980 --> 00:51:24,980
and you can learn it from you males, YouTube.

1037
00:51:24,980 --> 00:51:26,980
But there's nothing like a coach that says,

1038
00:51:26,980 --> 00:51:28,980
no, move your shoulder a little to the right.

1039
00:51:28,980 --> 00:51:30,980
Move your foot a little bit to the left.

1040
00:51:30,980 --> 00:51:37,980
Those little adjustments can make a huge difference in how you progress.

1041
00:51:37,980 --> 00:51:38,980
So there's nothing like a coach.

1042
00:51:38,980 --> 00:51:44,980
But you start off on a treadmill with just doing this little practice,

1043
00:51:44,980 --> 00:51:49,980
five, 10 minutes a day of watching your thinking.

1044
00:51:49,980 --> 00:51:56,980
And from that, you start, you know, so then the first stage is that you start to get

1045
00:51:56,980 --> 00:52:00,980
that understanding that you're not your thoughts.

1046
00:52:00,980 --> 00:52:01,980
Okay.

1047
00:52:01,980 --> 00:52:04,980
And that's like the first step, you know, that you would take.

1048
00:52:04,980 --> 00:52:09,980
Once you get that you're not your thoughts, the next thing that we usually move on to

1049
00:52:09,980 --> 00:52:11,980
is something we call labeling thoughts.

1050
00:52:11,980 --> 00:52:13,980
Not only not my thoughts, but now let's start.

1051
00:52:13,980 --> 00:52:17,980
Looking at what are the thoughts that are coming up for me?

1052
00:52:17,980 --> 00:52:18,980
Am I ruminating?

1053
00:52:18,980 --> 00:52:20,980
I'm thinking about the past.

1054
00:52:20,980 --> 00:52:26,980
My projecting and my gambling and my threatening and my worrying and my blah, blah.

1055
00:52:26,980 --> 00:52:31,980
And when we start labeling them, it's funny how once you label it, it lets you,

1056
00:52:31,980 --> 00:52:32,980
leaves you alone.

1057
00:52:32,980 --> 00:52:33,980
It's like you put it in a drawer.

1058
00:52:33,980 --> 00:52:34,980
I can get it later.

1059
00:52:34,980 --> 00:52:37,980
And so there's a process.

1060
00:52:37,980 --> 00:52:39,980
I mean, I do without getting into too much detail.

1061
00:52:39,980 --> 00:52:40,980
There's a process.

1062
00:52:40,980 --> 00:52:47,980
But I would say if, if for your audience, like if you want to take away from today,

1063
00:52:47,980 --> 00:52:54,980
something that's going to start to make a difference, I would say take it as an hypothesis,

1064
00:52:54,980 --> 00:53:02,980
accept it as a reality that you're going to accept for the moment and play with the idea of.

1065
00:53:02,980 --> 00:53:03,980
Consider.

1066
00:53:03,980 --> 00:53:08,980
And start playing with the idea that you're not your thoughts.

1067
00:53:08,980 --> 00:53:14,980
Just, I mean, I think that that idea alone, I am not my thoughts.

1068
00:53:14,980 --> 00:53:17,980
It gives a rise to so many questions.

1069
00:53:17,980 --> 00:53:19,980
Well, if I'm not my thoughts, what are my thoughts?

1070
00:53:19,980 --> 00:53:22,980
And if I'm not my thoughts, then who am I?

1071
00:53:22,980 --> 00:53:27,980
Start playing with those questions and it will leave you.

1072
00:53:27,980 --> 00:53:37,980
You know, Michael, we have an internal intelligence, our intuitive sense of things that if we just

1073
00:53:37,980 --> 00:53:42,980
give it a chance to speak to us, we already know all the answers.

1074
00:53:42,980 --> 00:53:44,980
We really do.

1075
00:53:44,980 --> 00:53:49,980
We, you know, you want to need somebody said, well, somebody, I didn't know what to do, but I had a hunch.

1076
00:53:49,980 --> 00:53:51,980
I've got to do, right?

1077
00:53:51,980 --> 00:53:57,980
That's just our intuitive intelligence telling us, you know, this is the way to go.

1078
00:53:57,980 --> 00:54:05,980
So if you just play with that idea and, you know, as a completely new concept and what it might lead to,

1079
00:54:05,980 --> 00:54:12,980
it will lead you to the questions that will lead you to want to take on, you know, experimenting more.

1080
00:54:12,980 --> 00:54:17,980
A bunch of life. Yeah. It's just consider, you know, something to consider.

1081
00:54:17,980 --> 00:54:20,980
Right. Yes. Something to consider.

1082
00:54:20,980 --> 00:54:34,980
Yeah. I mean, that's pretty powerful because I was shifting a little bit here, but it's powerful because there are people in the world who want to be or can be up

1083
00:54:34,980 --> 00:54:40,980
to big things in their life that can be life changing, not only for them, but the people in their lives.

1084
00:54:40,980 --> 00:54:49,980
And there's that little thought in the background that probably stuck with them since they were three and it says to them,

1085
00:54:49,980 --> 00:54:54,980
they're going for something big, but that thought says like, you're not good enough to do it.

1086
00:54:54,980 --> 00:54:57,980
But that thought is not who they are, you know.

1087
00:54:57,980 --> 00:55:00,980
It's, it's right. Yeah.

1088
00:55:00,980 --> 00:55:12,980
And this is something good for people to consider so that, you know, it can really break it out of the, the mold or the trap, I guess.

1089
00:55:12,980 --> 00:55:13,980
The condition.

1090
00:55:13,980 --> 00:55:14,980
The condition.

1091
00:55:14,980 --> 00:55:24,980
And then somebody, especially, you know, especially women in this society, you know, when, when a young girl sees that her brother is asked,

1092
00:55:24,980 --> 00:55:32,980
well, what are you going to be when you grow up? And she's asked, you know, well, what kind of a man are you going to marry when you grow up?

1093
00:55:32,980 --> 00:55:34,980
The signals are there.

1094
00:55:34,980 --> 00:55:40,980
You know, the signals, those, those, those ideas that you're not whole, that you're not complete.

1095
00:55:40,980 --> 00:55:44,980
And they're just not true.

1096
00:55:44,980 --> 00:55:45,980
They're just not true.

1097
00:55:45,980 --> 00:55:50,980
But your conditioning lays these layers of belief on.

1098
00:55:50,980 --> 00:56:04,980
And once we can start realizing that we're not our thoughts, then we can start accepting that maybe our thoughts came from somewhere else other than from me.

1099
00:56:04,980 --> 00:56:08,980
Maybe it's the conditioning that was laid on me.

1100
00:56:08,980 --> 00:56:10,980
Maybe it's not helpful.

1101
00:56:10,980 --> 00:56:18,980
And that's, and that's a process of, you know, reconditioning yourself so they can, that can, that cannot be you.

1102
00:56:18,980 --> 00:56:24,980
So, man, you're, so you say you said you're 74, correct?

1103
00:56:24,980 --> 00:56:39,980
Okay, you've done a lot of things, you know, from a lawyer to restaurant owner from, you know, you're teaching at Elon University in Tennessee, correct?

1104
00:56:39,980 --> 00:56:40,980
North Carolina.

1105
00:56:40,980 --> 00:56:42,980
North Carolina, I'm sorry, North Carolina.

1106
00:56:42,980 --> 00:56:47,980
And you've done all these things.

1107
00:56:47,980 --> 00:56:54,980
I mean, you've, how has all this like really influenced your purpose in life?

1108
00:56:54,980 --> 00:56:57,980
Still, I used to read science fiction.

1109
00:56:57,980 --> 00:57:00,980
One of my favorite authors was Isaac Asimov.

1110
00:57:00,980 --> 00:57:02,980
And he was, he was very perfect.

1111
00:57:02,980 --> 00:57:04,980
He wrote lots of books and textbooks.

1112
00:57:04,980 --> 00:57:06,980
He just wrote a lot.

1113
00:57:06,980 --> 00:57:10,980
And somebody once asked him, you know, whether you get all those crazy ideas.

1114
00:57:10,980 --> 00:57:16,980
And his answer was, he wrote a long essay explaining it, but in a nutshell, it was basically this.

1115
00:57:16,980 --> 00:57:22,980
That you have to have a lot of bits of information.

1116
00:57:22,980 --> 00:57:32,980
And then you have to have a mind that is willing to put those bits together and kind of notice when it's a good match.

1117
00:57:32,980 --> 00:57:45,980
And I would say the answer to your question is having all those different experiences has given me a lot of different bits of information and given me the, the, the, the honor of seeing

1118
00:57:45,980 --> 00:58:00,980
so many things from different perspectives that it allows me to choose from a tool belt that is varied.

1119
00:58:00,980 --> 00:58:06,980
So that I can pick the right tool for the proper situation.

1120
00:58:06,980 --> 00:58:14,980
You know, often we run into people and there's this expression of one trick pony, right?

1121
00:58:14,980 --> 00:58:17,980
There are people that have learned like a winning formula.

1122
00:58:17,980 --> 00:58:34,980
They learned some way that they're being like there might be a particular politician whose name I won't mention who seems to have a winning formula of being angry and, and, and talking about things that frighten people.

1123
00:58:34,980 --> 00:58:36,980
And that seems to be his winning formula.

1124
00:58:36,980 --> 00:58:43,980
And he's one trick pony because no matter what situation comes to him, he always responds with that response.

1125
00:58:43,980 --> 00:58:46,980
So it's kind of one dimensional.

1126
00:58:46,980 --> 00:59:01,980
And when you have a variety of experiences from a variety of perspectives, maybe you say anger might be appropriate for sometimes, especially when you're talking to the people in the utilities, like your phone company.

1127
00:59:01,980 --> 00:59:04,980
Okay, bills bills bills.

1128
00:59:04,980 --> 00:59:15,980
Sometimes, you know, you have to get angry, but that's not always the best response. And so I would say that what it's done is it's given me a variety of ways.

1129
00:59:15,980 --> 00:59:21,980
And if I can just pull in a little Taoism into that.

1130
00:59:21,980 --> 00:59:29,980
One of the basic teachings of Taoism is to learn how to go with the flow.

1131
00:59:29,980 --> 00:59:38,980
But not the trap of going with the flow is like taking your hands off the wheel and just allowing whatever is going to happen to you happen to you.

1132
00:59:38,980 --> 00:59:49,980
That's not going with the flow going with the flow. In Taoism, we talk about becoming aware of the situation of the river that you're in.

1133
00:59:49,980 --> 00:59:56,980
And then responding in the most wise and profound way to that situation.

1134
00:59:56,980 --> 01:00:04,980
So like if you're in the ocean, and you want to swim into shore, you can panic and drown.

1135
01:00:04,980 --> 01:00:12,980
Or you can just be bullheaded and say, and I'm swimming into shore and you might get there, but you'll be exhausted.

1136
01:00:12,980 --> 01:00:20,980
Or you might say, my notice that sometimes the tide is going in and sometimes it's going out.

1137
01:00:20,980 --> 01:00:26,980
And when it's going in, it's giving me a boost. But when it's going out, it's getting in the way.

1138
01:00:26,980 --> 01:00:41,980
So if I can swim like heck when it's going towards shore and just hold my position and save my energy when it's going against me, I can move forward and hold, move forward and hold.

1139
01:00:41,980 --> 01:00:50,980
I'll get into shore. I will have saved a lot of energy. I will have been effective, efficient, accomplished my goal with less energy.

1140
01:00:50,980 --> 01:00:57,980
Now, if I can live life like that, that's what Master Nhi taught me. He said, that is what mastery of life is.

1141
01:00:57,980 --> 01:01:10,980
Using the least energy possible to be the most effective and efficient by aligning yourself with the appropriateness of the time that you're in.

1142
01:01:10,980 --> 01:01:17,980
Yeah, that tastes something. Exactly. How do you do that?

1143
01:01:17,980 --> 01:01:26,980
Well, in Taoism, we have a practice that teaches that. And it's called the Ai Ching, the classical book of changes.

1144
01:01:26,980 --> 01:01:31,980
And what the Ai Ching basically says is that there is a cycle of movement.

1145
01:01:31,980 --> 01:01:40,980
Day turns to night, night turns to day, winter turns to summer, but good times also turn to bad times. And bad times always turn to good times.

1146
01:01:40,980 --> 01:01:59,980
And so if you look at the cycle of behaviors, you can learn like where you are on the cycle. And the way that you've learned that is the Ai Ching actually cuts that cycle into 64 pie slices and six sub pie slices.

1147
01:01:59,980 --> 01:02:12,980
And if you just read a little bit every day, you just read a little bit of the Ai Ching, just one of the little things, and you learn about the labels of the times, like there's a time to punch through.

1148
01:02:12,980 --> 01:02:23,980
There's a time to retreat. There's a time to advance. There's a time to calculate the weight. There is a time of great propitiousness. There are time to dim the light.

1149
01:02:23,980 --> 01:02:35,980
So you learn all of these times, it teaches you all of these different times, and it teaches you how to act wisely there.

1150
01:02:35,980 --> 01:02:41,980
And so that was what Master Nne, you know, strenuously,

1151
01:02:41,980 --> 01:02:55,980
wrote us to practice every day. And I would say that it after a while it becomes muscle memory. Yeah, there are practices, you know, practices that you can learn.

1152
01:02:55,980 --> 01:03:02,980
I would suggest picking up a copy of it's called the Ai CHING, the Ai Ching.

1153
01:03:02,980 --> 01:03:13,980
And the one that I like the most is the illustrated Ai Ching by R.L. Wing.

1154
01:03:13,980 --> 01:03:24,980
And it has all the instructions about how to practice and all what you need. And remember I told you about my therapist throwing coins?

1155
01:03:24,980 --> 01:03:29,980
Didn't I say that I went to my therapist and he was throwing coins? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, yes, yeah.

1156
01:03:29,980 --> 01:03:35,980
Well, that's what he was doing. He was practicing the Ai Ching.

1157
01:03:35,980 --> 01:03:45,980
Well, you know, you also, which is really cool, you have a meditation book as well that you offer for free download.

1158
01:03:45,980 --> 01:03:55,980
And so 34, I think 38 pages, something like that flip book that I started to read, which is really good. You want to talk about that a little bit?

1159
01:03:55,980 --> 01:04:01,980
Sure, sure. So everybody always asks me, how do I get started? What do I need to know? Where do I go? What resources, Bubba?

1160
01:04:01,980 --> 01:04:10,980
So I wrote a little 40 page primer on education. It's called, is it for me? What it is? What is it not? How to get started?

1161
01:04:10,980 --> 01:04:17,980
And you can go to my website and it's a free download, no obligation, no cost.

1162
01:04:17,980 --> 01:04:25,980
And it has resources in it and it tells you a little bit about the kind of meditation that I teach and how I teach it.

1163
01:04:25,980 --> 01:04:33,980
But it also gives you some apps and gives you the basics of what meditation is and the basic instructions and all that.

1164
01:04:33,980 --> 01:04:36,980
And so it'll give you a good idea of what that's all about.

1165
01:04:36,980 --> 01:04:44,980
There's another one that's downloadable called 25 tips and tricks to relax that you can learn in five minutes.

1166
01:04:44,980 --> 01:04:49,980
For those people who are getting stressed real quick, good resource.

1167
01:04:49,980 --> 01:04:52,980
Box breathing and stuff like that.

1168
01:04:52,980 --> 01:05:07,980
And so those are downloadable and on my website, there's also a free downloadable 56 gigabytes of guided meditations and instruction pamphlets and instruction sheets.

1169
01:05:07,980 --> 01:05:12,980
And you can just browse through the whole library and take whatever you want. It's all free.

1170
01:05:12,980 --> 01:05:22,980
That's awesome. Yeah, I started to look at it and a lot of things that I do as far as my meditation, a lot of that aligned with.

1171
01:05:22,980 --> 01:05:26,980
So I was looking forward to having you on and having this conversation.

1172
01:05:26,980 --> 01:05:31,980
And it's a peaceful conversation.

1173
01:05:31,980 --> 01:05:39,980
And so what you've been through, which I know probably was exciting at the time, being a lawyer,

1174
01:05:39,980 --> 01:05:43,980
which you kind of start, you still are a lawyer a bit, a little bit.

1175
01:05:43,980 --> 01:05:54,980
I still represent folks in the world of use neglect and dependency parents,

1176
01:05:54,980 --> 01:06:00,980
whose kids have been taken by the Department of Social Services because they've been neglected.

1177
01:06:00,980 --> 01:06:10,980
And my job is to, of course, represent them in court, but at the same time, help them to understand what they need to do.

1178
01:06:10,980 --> 01:06:15,980
They get about a year to get their act together to get their kids back.

1179
01:06:15,980 --> 01:06:20,980
Some people, you know, for them, the drugs and the anger are more important than their kids.

1180
01:06:20,980 --> 01:06:22,980
And there's nothing you can do.

1181
01:06:22,980 --> 01:06:26,980
Some people, you know, their kids are the most important things in the world.

1182
01:06:26,980 --> 01:06:31,980
And they just say, you say the department says jump, they say how high.

1183
01:06:31,980 --> 01:06:36,980
And there's some other unfortunate souls who really, really want to get their kids back,

1184
01:06:36,980 --> 01:06:46,980
but they just don't have the capacity because of different obstacles and their intellect or, you know, their emotional makeup.

1185
01:06:46,980 --> 01:06:48,980
And those are the, those are the ones that are heartbreaking.

1186
01:06:48,980 --> 01:06:57,980
But my job is to help them, you know, figure out how to get their stuff.

1187
01:06:57,980 --> 01:07:00,980
I still do that one day.

1188
01:07:00,980 --> 01:07:07,980
Do that. And you're still in your teaching at Elon University as a mindfulness coach.

1189
01:07:07,980 --> 01:07:12,980
And you talk about happy.

1190
01:07:12,980 --> 01:07:14,980
The world of was it I have a question about it.

1191
01:07:14,980 --> 01:07:18,980
I can't find it necessarily, but you talk about the happiness.

1192
01:07:18,980 --> 01:07:20,980
You're a happiness coach or something like that.

1193
01:07:20,980 --> 01:07:23,980
Maybe I talk about the work ethic of happiness.

1194
01:07:23,980 --> 01:07:26,980
The work ethic of happiness. That's what it was. Yes.

1195
01:07:26,980 --> 01:07:27,980
Yeah.

1196
01:07:27,980 --> 01:07:40,980
Yeah. So, um, you know, everybody, the one common thing that people all across the world share is that all we want to do is be happy.

1197
01:07:40,980 --> 01:07:48,980
And I mean, by happy, I think we're not talking about, you know, momentary, hedonistic, little joyful charge.

1198
01:07:48,980 --> 01:08:04,980
You know, but we're talking about something that's kind of a long lasting sense of purpose, meaning, fulfilling life that, you know, provides us with that kind of stability, confidence and sense that I can do this.

1199
01:08:04,980 --> 01:08:10,980
And so that, you know, you don't feel like you're battered around by life.

1200
01:08:10,980 --> 01:08:12,980
Maybe. Yeah.

1201
01:08:12,980 --> 01:08:21,980
So, so if you want to be happy, you need to put some effort into it.

1202
01:08:21,980 --> 01:08:33,980
Yeah, because of the brain science, we know that, you know, we have to, the world will not flood you with joyful, beautiful stuff.

1203
01:08:33,980 --> 01:08:40,980
Unless you go out and open yourself up to it, it will flood you with a lot of ugly stuff.

1204
01:08:40,980 --> 01:08:51,980
It will flood you with a lot of news about mass shootings and traffic accidents and bus derailings. And you know, you'll, you'll hear about this stuff all the time.

1205
01:08:51,980 --> 01:08:58,980
You don't hear about the stuff that's, you know, invigorating and enlightening and inspiring.

1206
01:08:58,980 --> 01:09:00,980
Unless you, you know, seek it out.

1207
01:09:00,980 --> 01:09:01,980
That's right.

1208
01:09:01,980 --> 01:09:12,980
So, you know, take the opportunity, I would put this way, we have a responsibility to all and beauty.

1209
01:09:12,980 --> 01:09:23,980
We have a responsibility to bring that into our lives, not because it makes us a better person, which it will.

1210
01:09:23,980 --> 01:09:28,980
And not because it will make a better world, which it will.

1211
01:09:28,980 --> 01:09:31,980
But because it makes us happy.

1212
01:09:31,980 --> 01:09:33,980
It makes us happy.

1213
01:09:33,980 --> 01:09:35,980
And there's nothing wrong with being happy.

1214
01:09:35,980 --> 01:09:37,980
And there's nothing wrong with being happy.

1215
01:09:37,980 --> 01:09:39,980
You have an extra.

1216
01:09:39,980 --> 01:09:46,980
Can I just offer that, you know, Jesus has said to have made two great commandments.

1217
01:09:46,980 --> 01:09:50,980
One of them is to love your neighbor as yourself.

1218
01:09:50,980 --> 01:10:01,980
And in the West here, you know, we have this Marlboro man icon of being self-sustaining and pulling ourselves up by the bootstraps and being independent and having to do everything on our own.

1219
01:10:01,980 --> 01:10:07,980
And we think that it's kind of selfish to say, you know, I need to love myself.

1220
01:10:07,980 --> 01:10:12,980
But, you know, from a Christian perspective, you do need to love yourself.

1221
01:10:12,980 --> 01:10:17,980
You need to love yourself in the way that God loves you completely and unconditionally.

1222
01:10:17,980 --> 01:10:22,980
Because Jesus commanded love your neighbor as you love yourself.

1223
01:10:22,980 --> 01:10:27,980
If you don't love yourself, you can't follow the commandment and love your neighbor.

1224
01:10:27,980 --> 01:10:32,980
If you're self-critical, you will love your neighbor by being self-critical.

1225
01:10:32,980 --> 01:10:38,980
We have a responsibility to our neighbors to learn to love ourselves.

1226
01:10:38,980 --> 01:10:41,980
Take care of ourselves.

1227
01:10:41,980 --> 01:10:49,980
Yeah, loving yourself, loving your neighbor as much as you love yourself or as like you like it, love yourself.

1228
01:10:49,980 --> 01:10:54,980
And if you love it on yourself, I mean, it can make a lot of difference.

1229
01:10:54,980 --> 01:10:57,980
It can make a major difference in the world that we live in.

1230
01:10:57,980 --> 01:11:02,980
And yeah, there's a lot going on with the world right now.

1231
01:11:02,980 --> 01:11:09,980
I mean, it's been extraordinary talking to you and, you know, sharing this time with you.

1232
01:11:09,980 --> 01:11:17,980
I'd like to know what is, what would be for your last words on the podcast?

1233
01:11:17,980 --> 01:11:21,980
What would you story advice?

1234
01:11:21,980 --> 01:11:26,980
What words would you give as your last words?

1235
01:11:34,980 --> 01:11:36,980
I would cut.

1236
01:11:36,980 --> 01:11:39,980
I agree.

1237
01:11:39,980 --> 01:11:45,980
Especially a dog. Especially a dog. There's nothing like a dog.

1238
01:11:45,980 --> 01:11:49,980
Have somebody, you go, I have the worst day in the whole world.

1239
01:11:49,980 --> 01:11:55,980
Have everybody beat up on you go home and that dog licks you and it's all good.

1240
01:11:55,980 --> 01:11:58,980
Yeah, yeah.

1241
01:11:58,980 --> 01:12:05,980
But I would say love yourself enough to give yourself a few minutes every day routinely.

1242
01:12:05,980 --> 01:12:14,980
Pick a time, you know, and sit out and or sit in or look out your window or wherever you are.

1243
01:12:14,980 --> 01:12:26,980
You know, look out and just give yourself a few minutes to reflect on the fact that the mere fact that you are a human being means that you're something very, very special.

1244
01:12:26,980 --> 01:12:28,980
You're unique.

1245
01:12:28,980 --> 01:12:33,980
And allow yourself, you know, that dignity.

1246
01:12:33,980 --> 01:12:40,980
I am a human being. I have a right at the table of humanity. I love it the way they said into Siderada.

1247
01:12:40,980 --> 01:12:45,980
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars.

1248
01:12:45,980 --> 01:12:53,980
And whether you know it or not, the universe is expanding and it is unfolding exactly as it should.

1249
01:12:53,980 --> 01:12:55,980
As it should.

1250
01:12:55,980 --> 01:12:57,980
Powerful.

1251
01:12:57,980 --> 01:13:14,980
Well, thank you for being here. I appreciate you. And for all the listeners and watchers, make sure to get his information that's going to be in the description and just continue to make thriving your new normal.

1252
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Thank you.

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Thank you, Michael. Thank you.