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Hello amazing souls of the world.

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Welcome back or welcome first time listeners to the Thriveau journey.

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I'm El Michael Burke and we're here to explore the paths of thriving life physically, mentally,

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spiritually and financially.

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So today's episode speaks to the heart of our mission, finding strength and adversity,

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growing spiritually and discovering our deeper purpose in life.

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And we'll dive into mental resilience and what it means to stay strong when life tests

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you and how spiritual growth can anchor us as we navigate life's challenges.

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And I'm really excited to be joined by a special guest today, Denise G. Lee.

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She's a coach who specializes in helping leaders and solo entrepreneurs turn their

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challenges into transformative growth.

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Her approach blends straightforward with straight forward advice with empathetic guidance tailored

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to empower business owners to navigate their unique challenges and achieve their goals.

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With over a decade of experience and business coaching, she offers what I love actionable

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strategies to streamline decision making and drive success.

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Now Denise is passionate about helping others tap into their inner power and live with purpose.

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So together we'll explore the tools and mindset needed to not only survive but thrive in the

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face of adversity.

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Whether you're feeling stuck or searching for deeper meaning, this conversation I'm

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looking forward to will give you the inspiration and strategies.

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You need to stay resilient, grow and find your true purpose.

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Denise, hello.

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Wow, that was a heck of an interview intro.

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I was like looking to the side thinking, he's talking about me?

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That sounds pretty good.

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Let's get at this.

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I love it.

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I'm so glad that I'm here.

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Thank you so much for having me.

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And I know we're going to have a killer conversation.

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Yeah, we'll be.

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And I just want to acknowledge that you are, even though we had a couple episodes before,

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you are our first actual guest.

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So you are a special guest here on the podcast.

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And I'm really excited.

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I do truly, truly appreciate you being here very much.

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Thank you for having me again.

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Absolutely.

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Now I know that we talked via email.

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And right away, I got a great sense of who you are.

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You're very authentic.

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You're very straightforward, but cool at the same time.

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And I was like, man, I really, I need to have her on the show.

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So I looked at a couple of different podcasts and I kind of got the sense of who you are.

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And one of the questions I really have for you is why do you do what you do?

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It's every, I'm pausing and there's two answers, right?

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There's the PR answer of I'm doing this because I want to make a difference.

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That's the PR answer that everybody wants to hear.

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But let's get real.

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Let's just get real.

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I'm doing this because I want to remind myself where I was and where I never want to go back

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to you again and by sharing my experiences, strength and hope, by sharing the tools that

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I learned, it always reminds me that there's always more ahead of me than behind me.

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And then we always have to keep it moving forward no matter what we've gone through.

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And I just keep pressing through because the more I learn, the more humble I am, the more

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appreciative, the more grateful, and the more we can amplify that message so that we know

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we never have to go and resort to things that make us feel belittle beneath and behind where

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we ought to grow.

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Because we're all in a state of growth.

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And so that's the real reason.

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If I keep that on the forefront of my mind, then I have no other mission, no other desire,

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but to help spreading the word.

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And that's the answer to God's truth.

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Yeah, you know what?

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I actually feel that from you.

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I love the way that you broke it down into the PR answer because that's kind of what

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goes around when you ask people, why do you do what you do?

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But then there's the more intrinsic answer that's real authentic to you that you're really

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sharing yourself and who you are in the world.

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And that really brings about your purpose in the world.

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You know, Elmico.

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I think everybody, I tell this to my clients, I tell this to anyone who listens.

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We're all in the state of perpetual adolescence.

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We all want to be guided, nurtured, told what to do.

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Right?

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Maybe if I read, what color is your parachute?

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Maybe if I go to a kiyosaki event, what if I do all this?

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Maybe I'll figure out what I need to do.

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And basically, what we're saying is I don't feel strong within myself to guide myself

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to where I know I need to be.

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Everybody knows where they need to be.

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You don't need to necessarily be listening to me.

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I mean, you listen to me all day.

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You want me?

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I'm here.

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I can give you a mic and still talk all day.

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But we all have leanings, guiding, urges, but because we feel to be ostracized, criticized,

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demonized, we betray ourselves daily.

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It takes bravery to listen to what you are inclined to do.

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It's good in you.

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And thank goodness, because I don't want a bunch of Denise J. Lees.

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I don't want clones of me everywhere.

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I want everybody to shine as who they are.

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It's that unique self.

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And what I'm hearing is that going outside of yourself to find an answer, that's not

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where the answer lies.

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It's not outside of yourself.

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It's within.

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And that's scary, right, because we got our mom, our cousin, Uncle Jimmy, everybody saying,

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well, you don't need to be doing that, because I know somebody who lost a whole lot of money.

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Or I don't think you should be doing that.

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That's some family business.

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And so if we're listening to all those voices from today, yesterday, or whatever, then we're

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going to sit there and just shrink ourselves smaller and smaller and smaller.

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And then we're wondering why nothing ever gets done.

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You know, that's, that's, that's, that's deep.

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And with all of that, I mean, you transition, you talked about your history and what led

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you to where you are now.

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Can you speak a little bit about that?

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Oh, yeah, I'm glad that I'm drinking coffee, because once upon a time, I'd be sitting there

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talking with you in a coffee mug sipping vodka.

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Oh, okay.

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I, I'm, I'm going to be real with you when I say that my history involves alcoholism.

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My history involves waking up in beds with people beside me that I only knew barely hours

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ago.

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My history involves doing things that were questionable, all because of the fact that

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I was betraying myself and it started very, very, very early in my life.

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I am a, a, an incest survivor from as long as I can remember up until 11, I was sexually,

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physically, emotionally abused by my mother.

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The betray, the betrayal started then where I had to pretend that everything was fine.

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So for a lot of us, betrayal starts early, self-betrayal starts early.

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So you're smiling, you're putting it on a mask.

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I smiled, I put on a mask.

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I got a degree I didn't believe in.

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I smiled and I put on a mask for 10 years in a job in corporate America doing something

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that only just nurtured my anxiety and my worries.

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And it wasn't until I was actually at the brink of being fired that my, my husband at

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the time said, you got to quit.

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You're going to lose your mind.

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You're going to, you got to quit.

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And I betrayed myself again and started a personal training business.

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Although I do exercise, I still do.

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I believe or fitness.

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I was not being authentic to who I was again.

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So it wasn't until I finally said, well, what does Denise really want?

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And then it's, and then I started doing business coaching and transition out of personal training

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business coaching.

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Cause I never really, it's like, well, I just know corporate America.

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So I'll just, you know, laying in deeper.

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And El Micah, I remember I was in a marketing coaching group and I was showing my, my coach,

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my sales coach, my sales pages.

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And he said, this sounds like life coaching.

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And I said, what are you talking about?

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I'm talking to business owner, like no Denise, you're talking about life issues all throughout

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your copy.

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Oh, when I say copy, they're written material.

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And I saw it.

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I, El Micah, I stopped and I looked at it and I was like, who Denise is trying to tell

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Denise what she wants to do.

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Are you willing to be honest and brave enough?

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Cause I was thinking, oh, there's so many like the executive life coaches out there.

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Oh, I can't do that anymore.

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Oh, nobody's talking about trauma edition.

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No, everybody wants to run away from all that stuff.

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They, they, they cry their eyes out watching Oprah enough.

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They don't want to do any of that mess anymore.

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Right.

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And then I had to be honest with myself and I said, you know what?

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I can continue living at, I was 38 a time.

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I can continue living my life trying to fit in, trying to do what I thought was more appropriate

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or I could just jump into the unknown and say, you know, whatever happens happens, but

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at least I went down trying.

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Right.

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You know, that's extraordinary that, that everything that you just, excuse me, explain

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and share with us.

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What was, what was that thing like you, you, you were dealing with trauma from the age

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of 11.

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You went through this life where it sounds to me like you were, it was just pretending

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and you were just trying to keep up with the pretend, the pretense of who you were in the

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world.

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But then there was a shift from pretending who you were to being authentic to who you

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are.

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What was that shift?

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What would change?

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And what could, what could you tell someone or show someone and how to actually make that

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shift?

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So I'm a recovering alcoholic and I remember when I was in, um, my talking with my first

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sponsor and she said to me, you know, Denise, you're going to have to hit a bottom.

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And I thought, I'm already in a bottom.

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I'm afraid of losing my job.

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I'm having, you know, random guys bang on my door.

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Right.

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And before I got married, I knew things were bad.

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Okay.

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Isn't that my bottom?

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And she was like, no, Denise, that's not your bottom.

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I knew, El Michael, my bottom was when I didn't even care how messy and nasty I looked.

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I just needed to get better.

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And that bottom looks differently for everybody.

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Right.

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Right.

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Exactly.

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And I was like, I'm going to the point where I was done wear hair extensions.

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I'm just going to show a big old Afro.

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I knew I was hitting bottom when I didn't feel the need to dress up in a certain way

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because I was trying, done trying to impress people who didn't care if I lived or died

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in that moment because I wasn't giving them what they wanted.

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Everybody needs to find that bottom where they wake up and they realize, wait a minute,

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I'm not even living for me anymore.

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I mean, I talk, El Michael, I talk to so many people.

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They got heart problems.

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They're insomniac.

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They got neck back pain.

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And then they're like, everything's going well.

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But then I ask a question.

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So how's your, how are you feeling about your job?

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How are you feeling about some real with this?

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And you could tell things are tensed up.

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And then they say, smile and they have a forceful.

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Everything's fine.

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Everything's fine.

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For me, my bottom hit when I was not tired of betraying myself.

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Got it.

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You know, it's so funny because not funny, haha, but funny to the wear.

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Like when you, when you're sharing what that transit was for you, for me, like, it was

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my health, you know, losing my kidney and getting cancer and all that kind of stuff.

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I was like, the life that I used to live kind of led to the issues that I have now, but

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this is not who I am.

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And I had to find myself within that, that bottom as well.

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And so that was a transition for me as well, because I was always, I was an athlete.

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I was working out.

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I was always healthy.

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And then boom, you know, and so I had to make that transition for my life.

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Myself, but I was living for something else, a portrayal of who I was, but not the actual

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authentic self of who I am.

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You know, I'm not a big football fan.

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I'm not a big football fan, but I found myself last night watching Thursday night football

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Jets versus new Angin Patriots.

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Oh yeah.

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And what happened to me was there's always like, there's the butt crack of the NFL, the

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Chicago Bears, right?

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The Detroit Lions and the New York Jets.

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But here I am watching.

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It was first quarter and I saw Jets was 14 Patriots there.

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I'm like, what is this?

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What is this?

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And it was led by the cool and cool.

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I forgot that guy's name.

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Number eight.

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I think Adams, I forgot his name on the quarterback on the Jets.

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What's his name?

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00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:09,680
What's his name?

243
00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:10,680
I don't remember.

244
00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:11,680
Okay.

245
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,680
Y'all, y'all don't forgive us as you listen to this later.

246
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,680
Yeah, I'm not a Jets fan.

247
00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:18,280
Anyway, I know for good reason, right?

248
00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:19,840
Ain't nobody know Jets fan, right?

249
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:22,280
But the point of this is all going to make sense.

250
00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:23,680
Just flow with me on the story.

251
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:24,680
Okay.

252
00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:26,400
So I'm sitting there and I'm watching.

253
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:32,080
I think is the butt crack of the NFL crush the New England Patriots.

254
00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:33,080
Tom Brady's gone.

255
00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:34,080
Yeah.

256
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:35,920
And I thought they ain't going to do enough.

257
00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:38,240
Like Patriots still got that energy going.

258
00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:39,240
They're going to get it.

259
00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:45,960
And the people you thought had nothing was just slaying it.

260
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:49,520
I think they ended the game like 26-4 or something like that.

261
00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:52,960
Like they just wiped the floor with them.

262
00:15:52,960 --> 00:16:00,840
And the point I'm trying to make is once you got beaten but so down, so long, you got to

263
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:04,560
rise up and ask yourself, I can't go out like this.

264
00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:06,080
I got to make some pivots.

265
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:07,880
I got to switch up my roster.

266
00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:09,800
I got to get some MVP's.

267
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I got to recruit some other folks.

268
00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:13,200
I got to integrate some new fresh butt.

269
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:18,040
And sometimes you're going to have to bleed out a lot before you rise up.

270
00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:22,200
And like you're telling your story about losing your kidney, having all these health problems,

271
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:25,080
you had to bleed out before you got out.

272
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,080
Right.

273
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Right.

274
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:35,680
And in that, I mean, in that space, like this is where you really find yourself.

275
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You know, sometimes it takes what it took for me or for you to find yourself.

276
00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:41,320
Yeah.

277
00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:45,400
I think everybody wants to solve bottom, right?

278
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Where you feel a little uncomfortable and then suddenly you just have an epiphany and

279
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then you rise up high and then you just jump in from mountain to mountain to mountain to

280
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mountain top.

281
00:16:56,480 --> 00:17:00,120
But growth happens in the valleys, y'all.

282
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,120
Right.

283
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:06,320
Growth happens in the dark places nobody can see.

284
00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:08,520
That's where you get the reps in.

285
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:13,440
That's where you feel this, you're testing your real metal, not when you cruise in high.

286
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:14,680
Right.

287
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:19,440
And don't let anybody lie to you when you see them on TV and they tell them what they're

288
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doing and how famous they are and what they've got going on.

289
00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:26,120
They're never going to tell you all their L's.

290
00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:27,120
Right.

291
00:17:27,120 --> 00:17:28,120
Right.

292
00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:33,680
Babe Ruth, home run king, strikeout king.

293
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:37,000
Nobody wants to talk about the L's, but that's part of the process.

294
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:45,080
That's what resiliency is, is owning your L's just as much as you get your W's.

295
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:51,640
And to that, to that fact, like how, when you're talking about the resilience and that's

296
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:56,000
really, we're talking about mental resilience and spiritual growth, how does that play a

297
00:17:56,000 --> 00:18:04,200
role in how you as a business coach or actually a life coach, how does that play a role in

298
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:09,080
being the life coach?

299
00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:14,280
So there's the things I tell other people and there's the things I tell myself.

300
00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:17,720
And then on the surface, we're like, well, you're just going to have this tough and through

301
00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:20,240
or just know that there's going to be season, you're going to go through it and it's all

302
00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:24,600
going to be all well and we, you just need to like that's the PR message.

303
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:25,600
Right.

304
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:26,600
Right.

305
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:28,760
So let's sweep the PR message.

306
00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:34,320
Let's talk about those moments where you're putting out tons of content and you get zero

307
00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:35,640
views.

308
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:41,480
Let's talk about paying all these services and you're barely getting a fraction of your

309
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:42,680
money back.

310
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:46,760
Let's talk about getting nasty emails from clients, even though you knew you did your

311
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:50,560
best work and they're trying to cash in on your money back guarantee.

312
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:55,520
Let's talk about all that because that's the real stuff that business owners need to talk

313
00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:58,560
about because when we're talking about resiliency, right?

314
00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:04,720
We're not just talking about just hoping you, you'll meet cash flow, right?

315
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:09,960
There's the nuance, hoping that your partner will still look at you the right way when

316
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:12,960
you come home after you've been working, working 12 hour days.

317
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:17,680
That's, let's talk about what that really looks like, right?

318
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:22,920
And I'm not going to sit here and lie and patronize everybody and say, well, everything's

319
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:25,520
just seasonalities, right?

320
00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:28,280
Because from some people that season's 12 years.

321
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:33,120
For that people that says in the season was 20 years, right?

322
00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:37,960
It's all about how you frame the situation that matters.

323
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:44,000
Now if I'm frame the situation is let's just get this done quick.

324
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,840
Now I'm going to feel resentful.

325
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:47,320
I'm going to feel angry.

326
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:51,720
I'm going to feel irritated because it's on my timeframe.

327
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:57,280
But if I'm framing it from an attitude of gratitude, man, I may not have gotten all

328
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,360
this, but I sure learned a lot.

329
00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:05,800
Man, I didn't see that one coming with this unexpected bill, but now I know how to put

330
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:08,680
some more money in reserve.

331
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:15,600
So resiliency isn't so much how you do it, but why you do it and understanding the fact

332
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:19,120
that there's always more ahead than behind.

333
00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:22,800
As long as you got breath, you got purpose.

334
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:23,800
Amazing souls.

335
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:27,440
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366
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:20,240
Now I'm back to it.

367
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:21,240
That's powerful.

368
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:24,640
As long as you've got breath, you've got purpose.

369
00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:32,000
When someone's in that space, though, how do they connect to that world?

370
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:39,680
Like I'm struggling, I'm hurting, I can't reach this goal, I can't get to that goal.

371
00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:41,800
But there's what you just said.

372
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:44,240
When you got breath, you got purpose.

373
00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:48,680
How does somebody connect to that when they're in a space that's dire to them?

374
00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:51,720
Okay, so this is where it gets complicated, y'all.

375
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:53,800
This is where it gets complicated.

376
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:59,840
Because as much as I would love to say, just think positive things, keep an affirmation,

377
00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:03,480
your vision board, and stare at your vision board, it's a little bit deeper than that,

378
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:04,480
okay?

379
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:07,160
For some of you, like, Elmico, you shared your health situation.

380
00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:14,200
For some of us, our pain is causing us to not think straight.

381
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:16,840
Some of us, we're living in a dangerous environment.

382
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:19,320
I was talking the other day with a client.

383
00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:20,320
He lives in Queens.

384
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:24,080
There's a lot of stuff going down in his specific area in Queens.

385
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:28,160
When you're hearing gunshots outside your house, it's hard to think positive when you

386
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:31,400
think you, a bullet might grace past your door.

387
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:32,400
Right, of course.

388
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:33,880
Yes, that environment.

389
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:35,320
All right.

390
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:39,440
For some of us, we got a sick relative that we got living with us.

391
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:43,120
Or maybe we've got mounting bills that we get emails.

392
00:23:43,120 --> 00:23:45,760
We got phone calls.

393
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:51,520
So I want everybody listening to understand that it's not always as simple as like, okay,

394
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:54,320
just think positively when your body's acting up.

395
00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:56,200
You live in an unsafe environment.

396
00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:59,640
You've got unfinished business, okay?

397
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:04,200
I'm not even going to sit here and deny and negate any of that.

398
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:09,040
Because I want everyone to understand that I understand the world will keep spinning no

399
00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:11,520
matter what you're feeling.

400
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:14,280
But what I will say is this.

401
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:21,600
Instead of us thinking behind, right, about all the stuff we did, or thinking forward,

402
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:29,240
all the things we have to do, I want us to understand what's happening right now in this

403
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:30,880
conversation.

404
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:35,800
As you're listening to every word I have to say, I don't care what's going to happen

405
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:37,200
15 minutes from now.

406
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:39,960
I don't care what you did 15 minutes ago.

407
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:45,600
In this present moment, can you fully realize who you are?

408
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:47,360
All right?

409
00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:50,120
And what is within your power right now?

410
00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:51,720
You have the power to listen to me.

411
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:55,920
You could be sitting there on Instagram watching cat videos, but you decided to sit here and

412
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:56,920
listen to this, right?

413
00:24:56,920 --> 00:25:02,800
So that's choosing to step forward towards who you are, right?

414
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:08,080
So in that present moment, I want you to hit the pause button and think about what's the

415
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:11,520
best, best step I can do right now.

416
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:14,680
What's the best step I can do in this present moment?

417
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:21,400
And for what some of us is just having gratitude for all of us is being humble for all of us

418
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:24,120
is being creative.

419
00:25:24,120 --> 00:25:26,480
But you've got that choice.

420
00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:31,320
And when you get fixated on all the things that are going wrong, your body aches, you're

421
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:37,080
saying I want to deprive myself of my personal power of the now.

422
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:44,520
You know, that's really great because what I'm hearing is that it's a state of being,

423
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:47,440
like you can be worrying about who you've been.

424
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:50,640
You could stress about what's to come.

425
00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:55,160
But if you bring yourself to the present of your purpose, if you know your purpose, or

426
00:25:55,160 --> 00:26:01,860
any of you don't, but if you're staying in the now and being who you are in that moment,

427
00:26:01,860 --> 00:26:07,060
you have the power to choose, like even in the crazy environment, you have the power

428
00:26:07,060 --> 00:26:10,280
to choose to say, you know, this is what I'm going to be right now.

429
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:15,680
And this is the next step I need to take to move forward towards my purpose or towards

430
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:22,120
whatever step I need to do to make my business go to a next level or whatever it may be.

431
00:26:22,120 --> 00:26:24,600
You know, you're absolutely right, Michael.

432
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:28,880
Because you know, I think we live in a society has been trained on the Insta, right?

433
00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:29,880
Oh, yeah.

434
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:31,600
Stuff that ain't arriving in two days.

435
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:33,880
I'm going to cancel that order.

436
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:42,000
Stuff that, we came from like, my, our grandparents, you were happy as several arrived in two weeks.

437
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:45,400
You were like, who are two weeks?

438
00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:48,760
We lose our mind if it ain't arriving within two days.

439
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:49,760
Yeah.

440
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:50,760
Yeah.

441
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:56,800
We get instant notifications, buzzing on our watches, things popping up on our phone.

442
00:26:56,800 --> 00:27:04,280
We have trained ourselves out of how our prior generations lived for millennia.

443
00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:05,280
Okay.

444
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:12,120
We're just, we're just only like we're in the agricultural age, right?

445
00:27:12,120 --> 00:27:16,680
That's only what two, five percent of our existence of homeosapiens.

446
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:17,680
Okay.

447
00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:25,680
And so for a lot of us, we have quickly felt out of the natural rhythm of it is to live

448
00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:26,680
life.

449
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:29,720
We are slow and intentional by design.

450
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:36,720
Our nervous system was never meant to hurry up and put pep in our step was never designed

451
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:38,480
to be that way.

452
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:44,760
And so maybe we need to go back, back, back, back and have some newfound appreciation for

453
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:46,680
the little simple things.

454
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:50,760
Man, I have, I can go to the store and pick up clothes.

455
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:52,760
I don't have to sew clothes.

456
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:57,600
I don't have to go outside until land.

457
00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:01,760
And we weren't about how many falls we have on TikTok.

458
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:05,640
What is this, y'all?

459
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:08,880
What is this?

460
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:14,400
You know, it's so, it's so great because what I'm, what it, what it seems like is that you're

461
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:23,280
speaking to the outside influences that can kind of stunt your, your mental resilience

462
00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:29,360
to life and what it's intended or how it's intended for us to live.

463
00:28:29,360 --> 00:28:35,040
Although it can stop the spiritual growth that, that really moves us forward or upward

464
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:38,520
in our, in our lives.

465
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:40,040
I think our, you're absolutely right.

466
00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:43,840
I think our modern culture has pulled in the ultimate oaky-doke on us.

467
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:46,120
The ultimate oaky-doke.

468
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:49,240
I'm going back to that game I was telling you I was watching yesterday.

469
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:56,040
I could not believe how many times I watched Shaq and Snoop Dogg hawking products.

470
00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:57,560
I needed a gamble.

471
00:28:57,560 --> 00:28:59,560
I needed to go to Applebee's.

472
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:01,840
I needed to go buy NFL merch.

473
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:03,840
I needed to buy the type of stuff.

474
00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:04,840
Yeah.

475
00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:08,000
And then don't worry, I got my, I got my Amazon fire stick.

476
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:09,000
So don't worry.

477
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:13,480
If I'm too lazy to grab my phone, I could just hit a button and it'll add to the cart.

478
00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:21,560
Do you realize how we're being stunted in that moment to think that we need stuff instantaneously

479
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:25,680
and we don't even have to think through the logic of whether or not we even need something.

480
00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:31,640
So how in the world can be resilient and, and, and have patience when we're being guided

481
00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:37,840
towards impulsivity and recognizing the oaky-doke in the process.

482
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:39,720
Because it's the oaky-doke.

483
00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:46,360
We're being con and we're just not grinning and nodding our head and say that's good entertainment.

484
00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:51,360
What can somebody do like in that space, it's almost like we're blinded, right?

485
00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:55,840
We're blinded to what that is, we're deaf to what it is and we're just in what we're

486
00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:58,360
being guided towards.

487
00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:04,240
How can we then like get out of that, acknowledge where we are so that we can start living in

488
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:10,080
a different way where it's healthy for our minds and our spirits.

489
00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:13,400
Elmico, I'm going to make some people mad when I say this.

490
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:14,400
Go ahead.

491
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:15,400
I'm going to have some.

492
00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:22,680
I'm feeling the butt cheeks clenching and the jaws tightening as I'm about to say this.

493
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:26,920
So I'm, everyone's going to brace for impact as what I'm about to say.

494
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:36,960
Because some of y'all need social media fast, electronics fast for real, for real.

495
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:41,040
And for some of you guys are like, no, I can't do that.

496
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:42,040
I can't do that.

497
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:43,400
I got people who notify me.

498
00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:47,200
I got all the stuff that I'm like, the world will spin on.

499
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:50,120
You don't need to know what's trending.

500
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:54,720
You don't need to know, because like what, as we're recording this in September 20th,

501
00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:57,720
24, we, I don't need to know who's trending.

502
00:30:57,720 --> 00:30:58,720
Come on.

503
00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:01,800
I don't care about the, I don't care about none of them jokers actually.

504
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:02,800
That's, but that's beside the point.

505
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:05,240
I'm just going to say that's a sidebar.

506
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:13,920
I said, the point I'm trying to make here is that for you, some of you guys, the reason

507
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:17,360
why you feel so stressed is you're connected to things that are tearing away from your

508
00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:20,360
soul.

509
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:22,040
Put the devices down.

510
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:25,520
If you can't do a day, try half a day.

511
00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:26,520
Okay.

512
00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:27,520
You can do an app.

513
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:31,000
You can do a half a day, try an hour, turn off that stuff.

514
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:35,280
And if you looking like a crack addict, twitching, right?

515
00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:41,040
After even a half an hour, an hour, that tells you that your body is neurologically addicted

516
00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:43,800
to things that are tearing apart your soul.

517
00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:47,440
And no wonder why you're not achieving and you're feeling stressed.

518
00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:51,440
So tear away the things that are tearing away from your soul.

519
00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:55,920
I'm going, after I'm done with this interview, I'm going on a fast myself.

520
00:31:55,920 --> 00:32:02,720
I'm going to disconnect all my stuff and I'm going to pick up a book, a real book, a mystery

521
00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:03,720
book.

522
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:07,320
I love me some mystery books and I'm just going to dive right into it because you know

523
00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:09,320
what?

524
00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:12,040
I already have everything scheduled out.

525
00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:17,000
I already have everything itemized on my electronic calendar that will alert me when

526
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,120
my fastest over.

527
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:23,400
Some of you guys need a plan in your fast.

528
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:28,160
I always say, I hear from Michael, I don't like, I hear people say, well, I have a breakdown

529
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:29,760
and I decided to put my computer down.

530
00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:31,440
I needed, I don't want to go right.

531
00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:37,400
Why did you have to wait down to your breakdown for you to decide that you needed to come

532
00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:38,800
apart from that?

533
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:41,920
Why did you need to wait into crisis mode?

534
00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:45,680
We need to pre plan our rest pre plan.

535
00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:48,800
Just like we go, we plan, we go exercising, right?

536
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:52,720
We need to pre plan the things that we, that rejuvenates us.

537
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:53,720
Rejuvenate us.

538
00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:54,720
Maybe, yeah.

539
00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:58,360
No, that's the word I was thinking of.

540
00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:05,400
As you were speaking about the break, like I remember when earlier, when I was dealing

541
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:11,920
with my health, I didn't go, I mean, I was done with Instagram, Facebook, whatever, whatever,

542
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:12,920
whatever.

543
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:15,680
And for a couple of years, few years.

544
00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:20,040
And when I got back on, you know, friends that I knew in person that were all on my

545
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:21,840
Facebook, like, where you been?

546
00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:24,240
You know, what's going on with, we didn't know what's going on with you.

547
00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:28,440
But I mean, being, you know, on TV and all that kind of stuff, like, you know, it's just

548
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:30,560
like, where'd you go?

549
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:35,720
And I got back on and slowly it enraptured me.

550
00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:39,240
And then the newest device I got, which is probably later than anybody else was this,

551
00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:48,120
this dog on thing right here on my, my wrist, and I recognized that I was wearing this all

552
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:50,600
the time because I was like, Oh, I want to know what my steps are.

553
00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:51,920
I want to know what my heart rate is.

554
00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:53,840
I'm going to know all this kind of stuff.

555
00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:58,760
And then it almost became a permanent wrist apparatus.

556
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:00,120
Like I almost didn't take it off.

557
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:02,720
And then when I did take it off, I could see the imprint.

558
00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:05,720
And I was like, all right.

559
00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:11,240
I wasn't thinking about what this thing does to me or what it would do to me before I even

560
00:34:11,240 --> 00:34:12,440
got it.

561
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:18,640
And then all of a sudden a special came on, get this for $150 off or whatever it was.

562
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:19,640
I was like, Oh, okay.

563
00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:24,360
Well, let me go get that because I don't, I didn't really need it, but I wanted it because

564
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:29,200
it was like an advertisement that kind of guided me to get it.

565
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:36,920
And then here I am and basically caught up with this watch that tells me all this stuff.

566
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:38,720
But then I was like, you know, one day I was just laying down.

567
00:34:38,720 --> 00:34:41,120
I was like, I don't want this wrist anymore.

568
00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:43,760
So I took it off for like, I don't like two or three weeks.

569
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:47,880
So but I know now that I can break away from it when I just want to take it off because

570
00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:51,440
it was mentally, I didn't know that it was doing this to mentally.

571
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:58,120
It was just kind of taken over, you know, just my thought process of wearing a watch

572
00:34:58,120 --> 00:34:59,800
that tells me most steps.

573
00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:05,840
So my heartbeat or all this kind of all that jazz, you know, and I just had to break it.

574
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:06,840
It's so crazy.

575
00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:07,840
Oh, Michael.

576
00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:14,040
I mean, most of us are not exercising, right?

577
00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:20,000
But the ones, those of us who are exercising, we go in like above and beyond above and beyond.

578
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,520
I remember I was looking at my watch the other day.

579
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:25,440
There was like, Denise, you know, you walk about seven miles a day.

580
00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:26,440
I'm like, what?

581
00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:28,880
I'm still looking obsessively at it, right?

582
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:29,880
At the watch.

583
00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:35,080
But I've trained my body to do what it needs and it goes on autopilot.

584
00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:38,240
So basically what I'm saying is I don't trust my body.

585
00:35:38,240 --> 00:35:45,240
I trust some electronic leash over what my body is telling me.

586
00:35:45,240 --> 00:35:50,840
And that's that was the that was that was the what do I call the trap that I was in,

587
00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:53,400
you know, and I had to get out of it.

588
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:57,440
And it was just simply by taking it off, leaving it off for a little while.

589
00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:04,000
And so it's amazing how people like they deal with that, but they don't know that they're

590
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:05,000
dealing with that.

591
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:10,080
Like what are and here's a question for you.

592
00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:18,360
What are some of the common signs that someone has when they're caught up in that and they

593
00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:24,880
need to break out for their for their mental health and their spiritual growth?

594
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:28,520
There's a lot of signs.

595
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:31,440
There's a lot of signs.

596
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:34,280
There's the the the obvious is denial, right?

597
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:37,280
And it's not just a river in Africa.

598
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:44,360
When everybody is telling you there's something wrong, right?

599
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:47,840
And even when you see a sign like Elmico, you say, I see an imprint.

600
00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:50,840
Oh, no, maybe it was because it was the watch was on too tight.

601
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:53,880
No, you were wearing it too much.

602
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:55,880
It was too much.

603
00:36:55,880 --> 00:37:04,200
Yo, yo, yo, the other ones are you are you're going in a completely different direction

604
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:06,520
from what you said you were doing, right?

605
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:09,480
For example, oh gosh, I got so many examples.

606
00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:11,080
Let me just find one.

607
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:18,480
I remember I was talking with this this this dude and he said that he was interested in

608
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:23,080
doing selling merch, right?

609
00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:28,960
Then he he told me, well, I was on Insta and I saw somebody saying that I can make more

610
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:33,240
money if I also sell coaching to you.

611
00:37:33,240 --> 00:37:37,880
I said, wait a minute, I thought you were doing merch, merchandising, right?

612
00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:38,880
Why?

613
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:41,000
Why are you moving into consults and work, right?

614
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:43,400
He said, well, I thought that people see me.

615
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:47,240
I, you know, they would feel more trust in my merch, right?

616
00:37:47,240 --> 00:37:50,480
I'm like, well, why do you feel that way?

617
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:54,400
And then that brings me to fear, fear of missing out.

618
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:59,800
If you're feeling fear of missing out, you're automatically on the road to betraying yourself

619
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:04,440
and going down to things that will actually make you feel miserable.

620
00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:06,920
Fear, right?

621
00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:11,440
Because this other little sneaky monster is called Envy.

622
00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:15,440
Envy, right?

623
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:22,440
When we're thinking that everybody else got more, I'm thinking about one particular client

624
00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:29,360
who lost over $2 million in a spin of a couple of years because he thought like he had to

625
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:34,960
make more aggressive moves to have a higher portfolio than other people who said they

626
00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:37,080
had bigger accounts.

627
00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:40,400
He didn't even know how much money they had.

628
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:42,720
It's not like they had access to the Charles Swab accounts.

629
00:38:42,720 --> 00:38:44,440
They can open up and see what these people say.

630
00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:45,680
I just made all this money.

631
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:47,040
And you believe in that?

632
00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:51,920
And you're risking your own money to catch up to people on what they're claiming?

633
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:57,240
Envy will do some sneaky stuff to you.

634
00:38:57,240 --> 00:39:02,800
So when you're finding yourself staring at somebody else's lawn while your grass is going

635
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:09,800
brittle and gray and dying, when you're feeling anxious and worried and nervous, but you so

636
00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:14,440
preoccupied with what other people are doing, that's a sign you're going down the wrong

637
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:18,240
road too.

638
00:39:18,240 --> 00:39:22,880
So I got Fumo, fear of missing out, Envy.

639
00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:25,640
And what was the one before that?

640
00:39:25,640 --> 00:39:26,640
All right.

641
00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:27,640
Fum- uh, oof.

642
00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:28,640
All right.

643
00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:29,640
Fear.

644
00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:30,640
Fear.

645
00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:32,160
Well, fear of missing out is the one I'm familiar with.

646
00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:38,360
So I guess the other is lack of trust in yourself, right?

647
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:40,120
Lack of trust in your own plan.

648
00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:42,960
That's what triggers the fear, right?

649
00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:43,960
Right, right.

650
00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:48,360
Because you're lacking confidence in yourself.

651
00:39:48,360 --> 00:39:49,360
That's great.

652
00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:51,960
So we got lack of trust in yourself.

653
00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:52,960
Fear of missing out.

654
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:53,960
Envy.

655
00:39:53,960 --> 00:39:54,960
Yeah.

656
00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:58,440
Now these are things that you talk to your clients about when they come to you with

657
00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:03,880
these kind of issues, which is extraordinary.

658
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:12,080
How does that help them in shifting their mindset or grow them spiritually so that they

659
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:18,760
can really begin to grow their business in the way that they see fit authentically and

660
00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:24,120
otherwise?

661
00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:32,000
I'm not a big horticulturalist, arborist, but I find very fascinating about how trees

662
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:33,960
grow.

663
00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:39,880
And you know how you could tell of a tree is growing strong where there's no sprouts

664
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:43,200
out, it goes straight up and then it just flowers.

665
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:47,920
But then you know when a tree is starting to look diseased, when you see a little rot

666
00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:52,600
on the bottom, you see the little sprouts come out, you're seeing some things a little,

667
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:58,480
or it's shifting in a weird direction because of either wind or some other pests or something

668
00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:00,880
nibbling at it.

669
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:05,320
So the answer to your question is let's check the foundation.

670
00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:10,520
When there's fear, when there's FOMO, when there's lack of confidence, there's some root

671
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:12,720
issue that's off.

672
00:41:12,720 --> 00:41:16,640
And it's rarely, rarely connected to the present.

673
00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:19,920
It's always the past.

674
00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:25,840
It's about when you were talking with your father about your business plans and he said

675
00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:28,120
that was stupid.

676
00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:29,480
And he didn't even want to do no research.

677
00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:30,480
I'm not saying you, Elmack.

678
00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:33,080
I'm just saying speaking in generalities.

679
00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:34,480
You're like, hmm, how do you know my business?

680
00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:35,480
I don't know your business.

681
00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:36,480
I don't know your business.

682
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:39,480
I just had a conversation with my dad yesterday.

683
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:41,920
I don't know your business.

684
00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:56,280
Look, it comes when we start buying crap because somebody we thought was an influencer told

685
00:41:56,280 --> 00:42:01,960
us to do it, but we never even checked in with ourselves and thought, does my bank account

686
00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:05,760
agree with this?

687
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:13,600
It starts when we are chasing things that are on Google Trends, but never even asking

688
00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:17,360
ourselves, this is in line with our business values.

689
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:18,680
Right?

690
00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:26,760
So when I talk with my clients about these root issues, we can make sure that their tree

691
00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:31,600
of business, their tree of life grows up high and strong the way it needs to be.

692
00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:33,120
And we treat the infections.

693
00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:35,680
We cut off the sprouts that are going off.

694
00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:39,960
We scatter away all the rodents and the creatures that are coming around it.

695
00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:44,760
Because in order to go high, you have to go deep.

696
00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:51,160
And when those roots are rotten, we need to do some investigating.

697
00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:52,160
That's great.

698
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:59,280
And in that experience as a business coach, what are the struggles that they face trying

699
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:07,280
to build their business when they're, basically the roots are not ready or they're rotten,

700
00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:08,920
so to speak?

701
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:10,080
I'm going to be honest with you.

702
00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:14,080
90% of y'all ain't going to make it five years.

703
00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:16,680
And whatever you're doing, you might be skipping around.

704
00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:21,120
You're going from selling shoes to cleaning windows.

705
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:22,120
I don't know.

706
00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:23,960
Just everyone's going to be hopping around.

707
00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:27,120
And that's normal in the course of being an entrepreneur.

708
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:31,000
I told in the conversation, I said, I started off doing personal training.

709
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:34,840
I'm like, I'm not in the beginning of where I was.

710
00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:36,760
And so there's going to be some learning curves.

711
00:43:36,760 --> 00:43:38,120
There's going to be some scrapes.

712
00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:39,320
There's going to be pivots.

713
00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:40,320
That's normal.

714
00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:44,160
So I want everybody who's listening to understand that just because you're doing this right

715
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:46,680
now doesn't mean that this is going to be the end.

716
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:48,640
A lot of y'all are going to be pivoting.

717
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:50,000
And that's part of the growth.

718
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:53,080
That's part of the learning process.

719
00:43:53,080 --> 00:44:00,480
A lot of you guys may not be able to survive because you're fearing investing because you

720
00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:01,920
don't trust in yourself.

721
00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:06,040
You're not investing in resources and tools.

722
00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:08,320
Or you may be investing in gimmicks online.

723
00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:11,880
And that's going to cause you to slip and stumble.

724
00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:13,640
And that's okay.

725
00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:18,880
Maybe you invested in a lot of people who didn't know what the hell they were talking

726
00:44:18,880 --> 00:44:19,880
about.

727
00:44:19,880 --> 00:44:21,720
And then you feel jaded.

728
00:44:21,720 --> 00:44:26,320
I know we probably could develop a whole hour just telling them about dealing with people

729
00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:29,320
for an hour.

730
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:32,920
Maybe a five-side chat.

731
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:35,400
That's another show we'll invite you back.

732
00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:36,400
No.

733
00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:37,400
That's a conversation, right?

734
00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:39,040
Within itself, right?

735
00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:47,240
So I'm mentioning all this to say that if you are brave enough to go through all the

736
00:44:47,240 --> 00:44:51,280
pivots, if you are brave enough to work through the betrayal issues.

737
00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:52,920
You're being betrayed by other people.

738
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:54,840
Your expectations, right?

739
00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:56,600
Getting in line with what to do.

740
00:44:56,600 --> 00:45:02,120
Every day I wake up, Michael, I'm thinking, how can I expect less of myself and others?

741
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:03,120
And that's kind of weird, right?

742
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:08,800
Because we're supposed to expect high of ourselves and others, right?

743
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:11,000
But when I'm expecting, I'm a human being.

744
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:12,000
I'm fallible.

745
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:13,000
I'm going to make mistakes.

746
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:18,160
And if I'm thinking perfection in an imperfect world, I'm setting myself up for heartache

747
00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:21,360
and stress and overwhelm.

748
00:45:21,360 --> 00:45:27,480
But if I'm taking it moment by moment, doing the best I can, progress, not perfection,

749
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:28,680
that's the aim.

750
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:34,040
And so in order to grow, in order to pivot, in order for us to do what we need to do,

751
00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:38,480
again, it goes back to what I said in the beginning, like, what's the best stuff I can

752
00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:41,760
do right now?

753
00:45:41,760 --> 00:45:47,040
Let's break everything down to this micro level.

754
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:51,000
I think one of the...

755
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:55,080
I heard everything that you said, but one stick out to me, and that may stick out to

756
00:45:55,080 --> 00:46:01,560
other entrepreneurs or people who are wanting to go higher in their career or wanting to

757
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:10,000
find love or whatever it may be, progress over perfection will bring you closer to whatever

758
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:13,680
your goal is or whatever the next step is, whatever next level is that you've created

759
00:46:13,680 --> 00:46:14,680
for yourself.

760
00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:22,960
And I think that when you look at the progress that you've made, you can really start to

761
00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:27,440
be glad about what you've done, tap yourself in the back and say, you know what, I can

762
00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:28,440
go further.

763
00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:34,880
So I don't have to lose myself in the social media, the golden ticket over here, but then

764
00:46:34,880 --> 00:46:40,120
I was the golden tickets over there and all that stuff that kind of messes up our mind

765
00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:45,480
and makes us feel like we are lost on the journey.

766
00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:46,480
So a lot of...

767
00:46:46,480 --> 00:46:48,000
Okay, so L. Michael is hard, right?

768
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:51,600
Because at one point, we actually need to be hip to what's going on, right?

769
00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:55,680
Because we can't be totally disconnected.

770
00:46:55,680 --> 00:47:00,080
But then we also have to stay true to ourselves, right?

771
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:05,400
So I'm not going to sit here and say to y'all, just bear your head in the sand and just keep

772
00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:06,400
plowing for...

773
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:07,400
You'll figure it out.

774
00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:08,400
That's ridiculous.

775
00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:11,840
That is a word.

776
00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:14,680
I've always had the mindset of...

777
00:47:14,680 --> 00:47:16,680
Oh, let me tell a story.

778
00:47:16,680 --> 00:47:17,680
Let me tell a story.

779
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:19,640
I think of this, bear my head a story.

780
00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:27,400
So a farmer decided to enroll his mule in the Kentucky Derby.

781
00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:33,520
And he knew he had a big old ugly mule and he knew his mule was competing against all

782
00:47:33,520 --> 00:47:36,000
these thoroughbreds, right?

783
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:39,040
And somebody came up to him like, yo, why you...

784
00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:40,040
That's a mule.

785
00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:41,040
You know that, right?

786
00:47:41,040 --> 00:47:44,080
Why you try to have him run against all these thoroughbreds?

787
00:47:44,080 --> 00:47:50,000
He was like, I just thought the exposure would do him good.

788
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:54,400
Maybe for some of y'all, you ain't ready to run the Kentucky Derby.

789
00:47:54,400 --> 00:48:02,320
But getting up alongside somebody who's actually doing it the way you want it to be done ethically

790
00:48:02,320 --> 00:48:05,320
with integrity, with honesty, with humility.

791
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:09,160
You need to come up under them for a minute.

792
00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:14,400
Nobody's telling you to mimic what they're doing, but mimic the attitude of how they're

793
00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:16,800
doing it.

794
00:48:16,800 --> 00:48:22,680
And there's no way you can lose in life as long as you're staying in true to your values

795
00:48:22,680 --> 00:48:24,520
and being consistent.

796
00:48:24,520 --> 00:48:30,600
Most people fail in life because they just aren't consistent, El Michael.

797
00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:41,120
It takes 10,000 hours, five years to get something done right, to move from novice to proficient,

798
00:48:41,120 --> 00:48:44,480
albeit even expert level, depending on what you're doing.

799
00:48:44,480 --> 00:48:49,400
It was in the blink, Michael and Gladwell, one of the Gladwell books.

800
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:53,320
Anyway, Malcolm Gladwell, sorry, Malcolm Gladwell books.

801
00:48:53,320 --> 00:48:58,320
The point I'm trying to make here is that some of y'all quit before you even start.

802
00:48:58,320 --> 00:48:59,600
You're like, oh crap.

803
00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:00,600
This looks hard.

804
00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:02,200
Oh crap, I gotta invest money.

805
00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:03,600
Oh crap, this takes time.

806
00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:09,600
I'm like, but you invested the money to get your smartphone, your $1,000 smartphone.

807
00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:14,360
You invested the time to upload your website.

808
00:49:14,360 --> 00:49:19,880
Take that same energy into how you build your business.

809
00:49:19,880 --> 00:49:24,600
If you can invest in small little things, you are a big project.

810
00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:25,600
Right.

811
00:49:25,600 --> 00:49:28,600
Ask yourself a project that is you.

812
00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:33,160
It's going to be ongoing.

813
00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:35,800
Invest in a project that's you.

814
00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:41,480
That's really big because I think a lot of people that are entrepreneurs, they're looking

815
00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:49,240
at what other people have done and been invited to, or you can make money doing this, but

816
00:49:49,240 --> 00:49:54,280
it's not who they are authentically or they're not really connected to that project or that

817
00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:55,280
thing.

818
00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:59,160
And then they end up skipping around and going to other things.

819
00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:07,600
And I think that's really key is, especially for who you are mentally and spiritually,

820
00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:13,480
connect to that thing that's you that will let you shine, that will let you be a megaphone

821
00:50:13,480 --> 00:50:16,520
of your life in the world.

822
00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:18,840
And so that's really great.

823
00:50:18,840 --> 00:50:25,080
Can you share just a success story where you're coaching help someone discover their

824
00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:32,160
greatness, their purpose and where they're building their minds and their spirits and

825
00:50:32,160 --> 00:50:33,680
just what's a success story?

826
00:50:33,680 --> 00:50:34,680
Oh yeah.

827
00:50:34,680 --> 00:50:40,600
I'm thinking about a client, one of my early clients from Inverse Christine and she is

828
00:50:40,600 --> 00:50:41,600
a widow.

829
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:48,480
She's a widow and she had her, have you ever heard of line X?

830
00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:52,320
It's basically like this coding they put on the flat beds and trucks.

831
00:50:52,320 --> 00:50:57,320
Anyway, so she was just, she just sell this industrial pain that goes on liners or trucks

832
00:50:57,320 --> 00:50:58,320
and whatever.

833
00:50:58,320 --> 00:51:02,720
And she thought she had her, she had this business and she was like, I think, I don't

834
00:51:02,720 --> 00:51:04,760
know what I'm going to do.

835
00:51:04,760 --> 00:51:06,160
I'm connected to this business.

836
00:51:06,160 --> 00:51:09,360
I'm not even like, that was my husband's business.

837
00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:13,600
I don't know if I just need to sell everything and just move on with my life and just in

838
00:51:13,600 --> 00:51:17,200
time, try to figure all things together.

839
00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:20,280
And I, we have this conversation.

840
00:51:20,280 --> 00:51:21,280
We had many conversations.

841
00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:24,240
We had a conversation with a coach and I said, you know what?

842
00:51:24,240 --> 00:51:29,480
The reason why you want to give up is because you've lost your sense of why you're providing

843
00:51:29,480 --> 00:51:33,280
equipment to people that provides livelihood.

844
00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:37,480
You're providing equipment to people that helps improve safety.

845
00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:43,560
You're providing equipment to people that helps improve the quality of how they do work.

846
00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:48,920
By you quitting on them, you're quitting on purpose for other people.

847
00:51:48,920 --> 00:51:52,120
And that's a heavy, heavy thing to hold on to.

848
00:51:52,120 --> 00:51:57,200
You want to quit on that?

849
00:51:57,200 --> 00:52:04,960
Or are you more attached to your feelings of pity because the husband you thought was

850
00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:10,320
going to take care of it was going to do it in perpetuity and death too.

851
00:52:10,320 --> 00:52:12,480
But that season has changed.

852
00:52:12,480 --> 00:52:15,920
Maybe universe, she's not Christian.

853
00:52:15,920 --> 00:52:17,600
I just said universe.

854
00:52:17,600 --> 00:52:23,280
It's just showing to you that it's time for you to realize how your purpose helps other

855
00:52:23,280 --> 00:52:28,200
people find their purpose and helps provide safety.

856
00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:33,480
And I was just so happy at the end of our relationship, not only was she able to keep

857
00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:39,080
maintaining the business on her own, she actually merged with another business owner to forge

858
00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:44,080
forces and continue selling Linux products.

859
00:52:44,080 --> 00:52:49,720
And that has really made me happy because it wasn't about so much that she didn't sell

860
00:52:49,720 --> 00:52:51,040
the business.

861
00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:56,360
It was a fact that she understood that what she was doing was providing service to the

862
00:52:56,360 --> 00:53:01,800
community.

863
00:53:01,800 --> 00:53:05,080
That is a great why.

864
00:53:05,080 --> 00:53:10,600
And I know for me, my why keeps me going into things that I create, especially starting

865
00:53:10,600 --> 00:53:13,920
this podcast and things of this nature.

866
00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:19,280
My why gets me connected to my purpose.

867
00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:22,840
Even when those days are like, I don't feel like doing this no more.

868
00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:27,280
I can't do it because this is not happening the way I wanted to.

869
00:53:27,280 --> 00:53:34,480
And thank you for sharing that because I think it's really, it could be, it should be prevalent

870
00:53:34,480 --> 00:53:40,000
in people's minds when they go off and start a business or whatever it may be, like what

871
00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:41,800
is your why?

872
00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:48,520
And I could see that you are a great coach, a magnificent human being, very authentic

873
00:53:48,520 --> 00:53:49,520
and very real.

874
00:53:49,520 --> 00:53:52,040
And I mean, this first conversation is really great.

875
00:53:52,040 --> 00:53:56,920
And I don't want, I want to go ahead and, and we could, I could sit here and talk to

876
00:53:56,920 --> 00:54:01,840
you forever, but I want to be cognizant of your time.

877
00:54:01,840 --> 00:54:09,360
And so I came up with this thing that I want to always ask my, my guest, the very last

878
00:54:09,360 --> 00:54:16,720
question, it'll probably change over time, but, and I have a question here that I've

879
00:54:16,720 --> 00:54:21,800
typed up was two, but I'm trying to figure out which one I want to ask.

880
00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:27,600
Okay, let me, let me try this one there.

881
00:54:27,600 --> 00:54:32,400
If someone's listening today and standing at the crossroads of their life, unsure of

882
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:39,800
how to move forward and struggling to find their purpose and what is one powerful piece

883
00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:45,280
of wisdom or a question they can ask themselves right now that could shift their perspective

884
00:54:45,280 --> 00:54:52,920
and help them take the first step toward their purpose within mental resilience and spiritual

885
00:54:52,920 --> 00:54:57,920
growth.

886
00:54:57,920 --> 00:55:03,720
I know we just talked about why, why, why, why, why, why, right?

887
00:55:03,720 --> 00:55:05,360
Which is why I asked that question.

888
00:55:05,360 --> 00:55:06,600
All right.

889
00:55:06,600 --> 00:55:15,800
But actually I want to flip it and say how, how do you want your legacy to be remembered?

890
00:55:15,800 --> 00:55:20,760
And I want to ask a who will carry your message for it?

891
00:55:20,760 --> 00:55:26,320
Because whether or not we want to acknowledge it, even on our darkest days, somebody's watching

892
00:55:26,320 --> 00:55:36,360
us, even on our darkest moments, something of our life is being recorded.

893
00:55:36,360 --> 00:55:38,560
We drop dead right now.

894
00:55:38,560 --> 00:55:41,920
Somebody's going to come through and examine our belongings.

895
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:48,960
We're leaving a trail physically, electronically, and it's telling the story.

896
00:55:48,960 --> 00:55:56,160
And that story is either going to be of resilience, compassion, humility, understanding, or regrets

897
00:55:56,160 --> 00:56:00,600
self pity, fear and remorse.

898
00:56:00,600 --> 00:56:07,640
And the crumbs that we leave show us how a life should be loved.

899
00:56:07,640 --> 00:56:15,320
So as people are listening to this, I want us to understand that no matter how you feel,

900
00:56:15,320 --> 00:56:18,000
eyes are watching.

901
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:23,880
Do you want it watching with a spirit of hope and inspiration or fear and regret?

902
00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:28,880
The choice is yours.

903
00:56:28,880 --> 00:56:35,440
Denise, thank you.

904
00:56:35,440 --> 00:56:41,840
We've been in this last, within this last hour, has been extraordinary.

905
00:56:41,840 --> 00:56:48,040
And I think that anybody that connects with you, whether you coach them in the business

906
00:56:48,040 --> 00:56:53,320
or however, is, it's a gift.

907
00:56:53,320 --> 00:56:55,960
And so I appreciate you and thank you.

908
00:56:55,960 --> 00:57:00,080
Now, how do people get connected to you?

909
00:57:00,080 --> 00:57:06,440
Yeah, the best place, thank you for asking, the best place really, my hub is my website,

910
00:57:06,440 --> 00:57:11,320
Denise G. Lee, all one word, D-N-I-S-E-G-L-E-E.

911
00:57:11,320 --> 00:57:13,440
I'm like struggling to pronounce my own name.

912
00:57:13,440 --> 00:57:14,600
See that?

913
00:57:14,600 --> 00:57:15,600
Right?

914
00:57:15,600 --> 00:57:18,760
So, I mean, I tell you that, I mean, I'm a prolific writer.

915
00:57:18,760 --> 00:57:20,960
I got tons of stuff I've read.

916
00:57:20,960 --> 00:57:25,080
You can access my podcast, the Intervert Entrepreneur, all that fun stuff.

917
00:57:25,080 --> 00:57:27,120
All can be found on my website.

918
00:57:27,120 --> 00:57:28,120
Okay, cool.

919
00:57:28,120 --> 00:57:36,640
And what I'm going to do is connect that in the main, my main, write up in the description,

920
00:57:36,640 --> 00:57:42,920
and that will be spread across all the different avenues that this podcast is on.

921
00:57:42,920 --> 00:57:48,000
And I want to make sure that people know that you have a six month private coaching program

922
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:53,640
called Royalty, which focuses on helping, like I said in the beginning of the podcast,

923
00:57:53,640 --> 00:57:58,080
helping six figure business owners navigate personal and personal growth.

924
00:57:58,080 --> 00:58:00,680
Do you want to speak a little bit on that before we end?

925
00:58:00,680 --> 00:58:03,160
Yeah, I'll speak about it.

926
00:58:03,160 --> 00:58:05,040
I mean, I'm not trying to sell nothing here.

927
00:58:05,040 --> 00:58:10,240
I just want to get some information about resiliency, but I appreciate it.

928
00:58:10,240 --> 00:58:15,800
I mean, for a lot of us, I kind of mentioned it earlier in our time with one another, where

929
00:58:15,800 --> 00:58:22,160
we have a lot of messages from our childhood culture, society that creates our life script.

930
00:58:22,160 --> 00:58:26,400
For better or for worse influences how we interact with other people on a personal and professional

931
00:58:26,400 --> 00:58:27,400
level.

932
00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:31,320
So the first job that I do with everybody is understanding their life script, because

933
00:58:31,320 --> 00:58:36,120
for a lot of us, we're just going autopilot repeating things and custom that aren't even

934
00:58:36,120 --> 00:58:38,280
really connected to who we are.

935
00:58:38,280 --> 00:58:45,320
Once we understand that, we can actually formulate a plan of who we want to be and actually create

936
00:58:45,320 --> 00:58:48,000
short-term and long-term girls that will guide us.

937
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:52,520
And then it will also tag along with some business goals that will help marry the person

938
00:58:52,520 --> 00:58:53,520
with professional life.

939
00:58:53,520 --> 00:58:56,480
And that's over a course of 20 sessions and six months.

940
00:58:56,480 --> 00:58:59,440
And I do that via video.

941
00:58:59,440 --> 00:59:00,840
I'm a virtual coach.

942
00:59:00,840 --> 00:59:02,640
I don't do in person.

943
00:59:02,640 --> 00:59:08,200
And there's a lot of other little things, but that's just the overall is that you understanding

944
00:59:08,200 --> 00:59:13,120
who you are and you're getting access to me and my coaching library to help assist you

945
00:59:13,120 --> 00:59:14,120
in that process.

946
00:59:14,120 --> 00:59:15,120
Perfect.

947
00:59:15,120 --> 00:59:19,840
And again, I'll have all that information within the description and just make sure

948
00:59:19,840 --> 00:59:20,840
you check it out.

949
00:59:20,840 --> 00:59:24,520
Denise, G. Lee, you have been extraordinary.

950
00:59:24,520 --> 00:59:30,160
And I do appreciate you once again, just for really being our first guest here on the

951
00:59:30,160 --> 00:59:31,160
Thriveau journey.

952
00:59:31,160 --> 00:59:38,840
And I mean, I can praise you through some more time, but that's it.

953
00:59:38,840 --> 00:59:40,440
So thank you so much.

954
00:59:40,440 --> 00:59:41,440
Thank you for having me.

955
00:59:41,440 --> 00:59:42,440
It's been such a pleasure.

956
00:59:42,440 --> 00:59:43,440
Absolutely.

957
00:59:43,440 --> 00:59:44,440
All right.

958
00:59:44,440 --> 00:59:45,440
I'll see you next time.

959
00:59:45,440 --> 00:59:47,840
Hey, keep being amazing.

960
00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:48,840
Take care.

961
00:59:48,840 --> 01:00:14,680
Thanks everyone.