Hey everybody, welcome back to Food for Thought,
Thoughts If It Were You,
Season 3. It's your host, Neogentrics. If you
missed out on our last discussion over on the
Wisdom Map channel, this is a rehashing of that.
I'm going to go ahead and add it to this. You're
going to get the chance to listen to it. If you've
got any comments, concerns, or things you want
me to talk about later, feel free to leave it
in the comment section. And I'll get back to
it as soon as I can. I thank you guys all for
listening and have a great rest of your day.
Now let's begin this chat. It's your boy, Dark
Cancer. I haven't been here in a while, guys,
but I figured I'd come back and give y 'all a
dosing of what I'm about and what's going on
in my life. Let's see what's going on with you
guys. I'm open to topics of discussion as to
whatever anyone has to say. If anyone has any
topics they want to discuss, I'm open to that.
But in the meantime, I want to go ahead and mention
something. If you want to know why I haven't
been active in a while... It's simple. Within
the last year or so, I've already lost about
six or so people in my life, one of which was
my grandmother. I lost my cousin, which was her
sister's daughter. And just a week and a half
ago, I lost my aunt, who was the pastor of our
church. Now, I'm not telling you that because,
you know, it's relevant to what I'm about to
discuss today. I'm telling you that is the reason
why Dark Cancer, your buddy here, Neogentrix,
has gone silent. Don't let that keep you going,
keep you barred. We're going to step forward
and move out of that. But I want to go ahead
and bring it up because I want to discuss one
little thing. Loss. The impact and impact of
loss for each person is different based off of
the emotional value that person has. Everybody
has a certain limit of how much loss that they
can take to the limit of how much they can handle
before they intentionally lose it. Some people
can handle it in small. doses. Some people can
handle it in larger quantities and capacities.
Some people can't handle it at all. Each person's
different. And in that regard, depending on what
the occurrence is, it's based off of the connection
you have with you and that other person. Like
for me, I've lost about six family members within
the last year. All of which weren't anyone far
or distant. They're all really close relatives.
I lost my grandma. I was really close with my
grandma. I used to visit her when we came back
to Houston once every week if I could help it
and spend the night sometimes when I just didn't
feel like driving back home while I was working
overnight. This is an occurrence that's a regular
occurrence for me, or it was, until she passed
last year. You can imagine how everyone else
felt. When she died and passed, there was a lot
of tears shed by a lot of people, except for
yours, truly. I'm not saying this to make myself
sound... better or heartless it's just that i
don't know what it what it is or what it uh how
the effect works for certain people but for me
a person who's not emotionally minded i'm not
bound by that certain things seem to tie my emotions
to my actions more so than anything else and
with each person i believe that that same fact
is true if you're a person who leans more heavily
on your emotions then Impacts like this and other
effects like this, when someone passes or something
happens or something goes wrong, you're going
to be more inclined to react more in an emotional
note than more of a rational effect. Each person
has this similar, I wouldn't say effigy, about
how they perform their actions or what they go
about doing in a day -to -day effect. Some people,
it's more effective to try to act more logically,
but at the same time, acting that way and being
that way are two different things. You can say
you're a logical person. You can say that you
think more effectively, more than more emotionally,
but this isn't true. For you to essentially think
more logically and be logic -minded despite whatever
happens, you have to be able to innately not
only... disregard your own emotions, but temporarily
shut them down long enough to do what you have
to do. This is a quality I know most men have,
but recently in the current generation are unable
to use. And I say that under the guise of, oh,
you're supposed to be a man, you have to show
that you're strong, you can't cry in front of
a woman, you know, that whole masculinity thing.
and i'm not saying that it's a good thing i'm
not saying that men should be that way it's actually
a bad thing because not being able to express
your emotions at all speaking from experience
because i'm unable to do so um makes it hard
for people to understand you your actions and
what you're trying to do now that's coming from
the side of a person who like me in my situation
i'm unable to uh display my emotions freely i
have to have something to basically force it
out of me, or have my girlfriend constantly get
on my last everlasting nerve to the point where
I have to show some type of emotion, even if
it's the wrong thing entirely. Is this a trait
that everybody should have and be able to use?
Yes, women should be able to use this ability
too. They should be able to suppress their emotions
to think as rationally as possible, regardless
of the circumstances, regardless of how mad or
pissed off they are. But at the same time, the
opposite is true as well. Men should also be
able to access their emotions and use it when
they need to, but not just because, you know,
oh, he's burning hot mad or he's pissed off that
such and such slept with whoever. That's not
what I'm talking about. Those are justifiable
reasons to be upset or show emotion like, oh,
your mom just died. But what I'm saying is holding
that in is not healthy. Okay. The more you fight.
your emotions, the harder it is to control them.
But at the same time, if you learn what triggers
each emotion, you should be at some point able
to indoctrinate yourself to the point where it's
a mental state to act or be a certain way on
command. Is this entirely possible? Yes. Is this
probable? Something that's, you know, copyable,
something that people can do continuously, religiously,
repetitively. No, actually, it's not. Because
if it was possible for people to actually do
this and on a regular day -to -day basis be able
to apply it to how they go about life and how
they interact with their people, then it wouldn't
be a problem that people have to consider or
think about when it comes down to making a decision
of what they want. Or don't want to do. From
a day to day standpoint. Let's say you work a
job. That really irritates the ever living hell
out of you. To the point where when you come
home. Let's say you have a significant other.
I'm going to use my girlfriend for example. The
job she has is really irritating. And it gets
on her nerves. Hold that thought. Anyway. Her
job, for what it is that she does, like I said,
she used to work for a company that's kind of
like CPS. She doesn't work for CPS. Okay, so
she has to deal with people on a day -to -day
basis. People who have kids, but don't raise
their kids, don't take care of their kids, or
they treat their kids wrong, or there's someone
in the family that's abusive to kids. But for
whatever reason... You know, no one's doing anything.
Everyone's turning a blind eye to it. Or people
just being stupid, or people calling in false
reports. I mean, these are things that happen
on a day -to -day basis, on an occurrence. Whether
you have to visit someone in a jail cell, in
their household, you have to inspect their house.
I mean, come on. This is all standard CPS. At
this point, if you don't know what CPS is, what
they do, how they function, or how they work,
you're leaving... In the Dark Ages. Okay, it's
a regular occurrence. It's a government organization
that exists. My point being this. Every time
she comes home, she'll act like she's fine. She'll
be like, oh, hey, love, how you doing? How you
doing today? Are you okay? Did you get to sleep?
She's more concerned about how I'm doing until
I turn around and say, I'm fine, but how was
your day? Now her emotions change. Her facial
expressions change. Everything drops. I start
getting non -responsive answers. I start seeing
her voice tone drop as in it's like completely
and utterly uninteresting. Oh, my day was fine.
And then now I'm having to sit here and pick
at her because I'm trying to get her to tell
me what's going on. Is this normal? Should you
do this? Definitely not. Do not go picking on
your significant other or your partner. That's
not smart. I do it because I know I can handle
her response because I know how she's going to
respond. I know that if I pick at her long enough,
she'll get upset and she'll finally respond to
me. But see, this is me intentionally aggravating
a specific nerve that I know is going to cause
her to become emotional. But I know if I don't
make her emotional, she won't respond to me.
There are some days where I don't have to do
this at all. She'll come home and I'll be like,
hey love, how's your day going? And the first
thing out of her mouth is... God, today was irritating.
People are freaking stupid. And then go on a
rant about how her day went. This is an emotional
response triggered by actions throughout the
day. Usually she's pretty good at controlling
herself. She's gotten better. And I praise her
for that. But on the off, no, there are times
and places where she just can't handle it. And
it's beyond even her control because she's just
so infuriated. Not because she's upset. Well,
actually, it's mainly because she's upset. But
not because she's pissed. Mostly due to the fact
that stupidity in itself, and people are stupid
no matter where you go, has a volley that everybody
has a tolerance for, usually a very small amount,
up to a certain degree. For me, I don't tolerate
stupidity around me unless I absolutely have
to, job -wise or not job -wise. But for a lot
of people, Their patience wears thin within the
first five minutes, especially of meeting somebody.
Just to give an example, okay? Like, let's just
say you're working at an office depot or a home
depot. And someone comes in wanting to get their
resume printed on resume paper. But on the counter,
right there next to them is a book that says
resume papers. You know, stuff that they can
use and look through. And they still walk up
to the counter and ask you, can I see your resume
papers, please? Why, but the app froze. Anyway,
so they're sitting right there. They ask you
to see the resume papers for whatever reason.
The book's there. We both know the book is there.
You see the book is there. I see the book is
there. But they're still asking you because they
want to see it. It's like, hey, can I see the
resume papers? Can I see the book or whatever?
So you being probably like me going to be irritated
by this level of stupidity. Like, do you not
see this here or are you just blind or can you
not read? So my response, my natural response
is to just pick up the book and put it in front
of them. Or. Your response may be as irritated
as you probably are at the moment. To me, it's
right there in front of you. Don't you see it?
Of course, this is probably not the best response,
but this is typically how 85 % of people are
going to respond. Especially when you realize
that it's something so obvious and so stupid.
And then the typical response for that person
is, Oh, I didn't realize it was there. Thank
you. And then they look through it. Or, you're
going to get the Karen response. What are you
talking about? Are you saying I'm blind? Of course
I knew it was here. I just wanted to make sure
that this is the right one. Okay, now they're
heated. But you see my point. If you're unable
to control your emotions, regardless of how you
feel about what people say, your responses become
so abstract that they're either attacking or
you're trying to defend yourself. Emotions are
the most dangerous thing that a human has. I
guess you could say emotions are what make us
human, but at the same time, emotions is what
causes a lot of problems. Humans kill other humans
based off of an emotional feeling, thought, or
pattern of some sort. Either you're jealous,
you hate somebody, you don't like them, or you
just simply want to see what it does. The only
exception to this is people who are mentally
out of it who need mental help. Like, they just
like watching stuff burn. They like lighting
stuff on fire. They like pulling the trigger
of a gun because they like hearing how it sounds.
You know, I like bowling. I like hearing pins
fall when I throw a bowling ball. I wouldn't
kill someone with a bowling ball, though. You
know? And a lot of these people who like lighting
stuff on fire, they don't want to kill nobody.
Most people don't. Most of them don't have any
intent of killing anybody. They just want to
light a building on fire to see, oh, I want to
see how this building burns. You know, that's
just how they are. But you see, it's an emotional
response. There's a trigger. Every emotional
action that you do, there is a trigger that'll
cause or make you do certain actions. Either
it's going to be triggered by someone else, your
own actions, or someone else's actions. What
do you guys think? I know it's, what, 5 .40 in
the morning? 5 .45? I know it's early. But, I
mean, I want to hear from you guys. I want to
hear your thoughts on this topic. I want to hear
your thoughts on emotions, on how you feel or
what you think you feel about the whole roundabout
way of how emotions work. Because if I have to
look at this analytically, like I said, in my
mind, I don't think emotionally. Okay? I only
add emotional responses later after I've already
calculated how many different outcomes I'm going
to use. I'm the typical type of guy that most
people hate because I look at everything as cold
hard facts. Not because, you know, I think the
world is black and white. I look at it this way
because it's, I guess the best way to put it
for me is it's a survival instinct. More so for
me than it is for other people. There are people
who work in data analytics and stuff who look
at data all day long and that's how they think.
And they think that the world is black and white.
For me, I look at it as black or white with a
gray area in the middle only when necessary as
a survival tactic. This is how my family raised
me. This is how I am. This is how I was raised.
Because I need to be able to put myself in a
position where the most optimal position for
me to survive is going to be effective. I can't
let my emotions get in the way because then I
can't think straight. If I think, hey, I need
to eat, but... shelter is the main prerogative
that I need more than eating because I just feel
hungry, then yeah, I'm going to eat, but now
I don't have anywhere to stay. But if I procure
myself a place to stay first, then it'll be easier
for me to get food later because I have somewhere
to bring it back to and I can store it. See the
thought process there? But of course, a lot of
people aren't going to look at it this way. Like
I said, people are prone to think with their
emotions first because of how they feel or what
they feel should be correct. A lot of times I
get people asking me questions on, hey, what
should I do about this situation? And my response
is, do you want the logical answer or the emotional
answer? 85 % of the time, people say they want
the logical answer, but in reality, they want
the emotional response. They want to know that
their emotions are assured, that what they're
doing is what they should be doing because that's
what they want to do. so in this regard you know
hey i just found out my girlfriend was cheating
on me with this other guy but it's not entirely
her fault because she did try to resist him and
he kind of forced himself on him of course in
that sentence he she he uh hold on let me rephrase
what i was gonna say she didn't want it but he
kind of forced himself on her there's two things
wrong with this sentence and while She claimed
that her friend or her girlfriend or whatever,
or boyfriend, if it's a guy or girl, it doesn't
matter. You decide based off your gender or non
-gender. He claimed that he, I'm sorry, she,
he claimed that she only cheated on her, on him
because she was pressured into doing so by the
other person. Okay. That makes sense. Where this
sentence falls apart is that she initially resisted.
Okay, initially resisted. Why didn't she keep
resisting? Because nowadays, and I'm not going
to deny this, and I know you guys can't deny
it either, women have way more power wagging
around in their finger than most guys. To the
point where all they have to do is scream sexual
assault and a guy gets arrested. This hasn't
changed. If anything, it got worse. You know,
but to each their own. That's a different topic.
Okay. What I'm saying is that within the preface
of what I'm saying is that you said initially
she resisted, but then was pressured into it.
Okay. Okay. But now I can look at this two ways.
She resisted and he forced her to do it, but
you didn't say she forced, she was forced. Or
I could look at it the other way. She was either
drugged or she wanted to do it, but she was hesitant
until he coerced her to do it. That means that
the only reason she did what she did, she either
intended to do it from the get -go, but just
really wasn't sure until someone added an emotional
backing, allowing her or creating an opportunity
for her to do it. Or the other one was she was
drugged. And since we have already factored out
that, the drugged option wasn't a possibility,
it had to be the latter. Which means that at
some point there was some level of attraction
between her and the other person, guy or girl,
doesn't matter, and she was basically coerced
into doing so using some type of emotional response.
But had she been able to control her emotions
even just a little bit more than she did before,
this whole situation would have been avoided,
and the guy wouldn't be sitting there distraught
that his girlfriend basically cheated on him
from the get -go. Of course, now I gotta deal
with him because, you know, he's obviously upset,
and... You know, it's not right for people to
take revenge even if the reason is justified
because I don't want him to end up with his ass
in jail just because he went and attacked the
other person, male or female or trans or whatever.
You know, because he's upset because that person
took his girlfriend from him or caused her to
do such and such or whatever. My response to
him would be, do you want the logical response
or do you want the emotional response? The logical
response is to just let it go and move on. The
emotional response is, how do you feel about
the whole situation? Do you still care for her?
And if so, do you still trust her? If we got
into this point where, do you still care for
her? And he says, yes, okay. Now we're at, do
you trust her? Now there's a logical and an emotional
response for this question too. Do you trust
her? If the answer is no, walk away. If the answer
is yes, do you think that you can still give
her another shot? But then let's go back to the
do you trust her or not? Let's say he said no.
There are two options here. He could walk away.
That's the logical response. The emotional response
is you can still give her another chance, but
now she's on a short leash. You see how that
response doesn't seem right because a lot of
people are going to pick that because they don't
want to let it go. And that's because they're
emotionally tied to that person now. They don't
think they can live without them. They don't
want to live without them. They want them to
still be there with them, for them, while they're
there. Everything that you do will have an emotional
or a logical response. How you go about it and
how you decide will be based purely on what you
think you should or shouldn't do. Okay? And for
each person, that's a little bit different. I
don't know why I got in my car. I don't know
why I did that. So, but this also depends on
you. You can choose to take the emotional route
throughout your day. You can choose to take the
logical route throughout your day. Some responses
don't even have an emotional option, but this
also depends on what you do and where you work.
If you work in a job setting, okay, usually when
you're doing something, you have multiple different
options of what you can and can't do. These are
logical options because you're working on the
job and these are things that you have and have
not to do. However, let's say something happens
at work while you're working on said project.
You have option A, B, C, D, and E. But then someone
of your coworkers does something that makes it
so that options C, D, and E are not possible.
However, you can still do them. But it can cause
problems. This creates an object F. So now you
have A, B, C, D, E, and F. But C, D, and E are
not possible because of that coworker. However,
they are possible with option F where you use
an emotional response to get the job done. However,
in doing so, now you made yourself a target for
that person. This is a workplace experience.
So you can take it how you will. But what I'm
saying is just because someone's evil where you
work and what they're doing doesn't mean you
have to have the emotional response of retaliation.
There are some places where this is justified,
but 85 % of the time it's not. And I say this
because if you're mainly focused on survival,
let's say you like your job, okay? You really
love your job. You get paid a lot. You know,
your day -to -day life depends on this job. And
unless you have another job lined up, you really
don't want to risk it, right? So if that's the
case, and you really want to keep this job, the
emotional response should be the last possible
option. Unless you're one of those people who
love a good little bit of malicious compliance.
At that point, all I can say is just make sure
you cover your own butt. And if you've ever worked
at fast food, then you understand covering your
butt is a must. When you take the emotional response,
you're always going to end up putting yourself
in a position That usually creates a room for
retaliation against you again. Remember. I'm
pretty sure you've all heard the phrase, two
wrongs don't make it right. And in this case,
it does. But it applies mostly more to the emotional
factor than the logical one. Is the logical answer
usually going to be better? 85 % of the time,
that is true. But in a workplace environment,
this only depends on where you work, who you
work with, and the people type you work with.
If you work with the type of people who are nitpicky
about the dumbest stuff or... they're the kind
of people that likes to micromanage, then the
emotional response is probably the worst option.
Because at this point, if you start becoming
emotionally triggered by certain things, or you
start doing stuff based on your own emotions,
then in this case, you're just leading into the
fact that they're trying to trap you and you'll
just walk right out the door, not realizing that
you just fired yourself, even though they are
the ones who were pulling the strings. You've
turned yourself into a little puppet. If you,
on the other hand, Take the logical approach
and just wait it out. Yeah, your emotions are
still going to be steaming. You're still going
to be brewing like hot coffee in the morning
when people are getting ready to go from a Starbucks.
But if you just wait and bide your time, little
by little, just watching what they're doing,
taking note of everything, keeping a copy of
every email, printing them out. Just keeping
track of everything. If you wait long enough,
an opportunity will present itself. Or, until
you have enough evidence, you know, you can push
it towards the union if you work under a union.
You can push it towards corporate if you work
under a corporate. Or if it's just some mom and
pop shop, you know, you can push it towards legal.
Because no matter where you live in the United
States, employees are generally covered under
employment laws that govern, for most companies,
how you should get paid, how you should be treated.
And obviously, Something that's apparently taken
extremely seriously, especially now, is discrimination
against race, color, and sex. Race, color, sex,
oh, and your mental state. Because people who
need ADA or, what's the word I'm looking for
here? I'm trying to think. Handicap. Same category.
I fell into the same category and I forgot what
it was called. But, you know, discrimination
of any kind is still wrong. And see, that's the
other thing I want to talk about. On the topic
of emotional and analytical responses. Let's
talk about disability real quick. Because discrimination
and disabilities kind of go hand in hand. Discrimination,
let me see. I'm trying to think about how I'm
going to word this. So, let's keep this simple,
right? If... If you're being, okay. If you're
a person who's with a disability, I'm pretty
sure you've been discriminated against quite
a bit. Because either people are entitled to
the point where they think that, you know, Because
you're crippled for whatever reason, because
that's what a disability is, you're crippled
in some way or another. Certain abilities or
features of your body, limbs or whatever, just
don't work like they should. Okay. I know, I
know, I know. By definition, a lot of people
were going to consider being crippled a person
who can't walk. But technically, that's not true.
A cripple is a person who has a limited use or
mobility or range of use. for said limb or body
part or feature. So you're either crippled by
the fact that you can't see, you're crippled
because you have arms but you can't use them,
or you don't have hands, you have nubs, or you
don't have legs, or you have leg nubs. It doesn't
matter what the cripple issue is. Everybody's
pretty much the same in that same category. Okay.
There are people out there who don't believe
that other people are crippled or whatnot because
to them, okay, in their mind, and this is one
of those, this is, no, here's where logic is
a bad thing. Like I said, every situation depends
on the person. In their mind, they're thinking,
oh, their body is complete from head to toe.
They must be able to use their hands and feet.
So if they see you sitting in a wheelchair or
walking with crutches, in their mind, unless
they see a cast or something that clearly displays
that you're an injured person or you need those
items, they're like, oh, you're not crippled.
You're just faking being one. And then they try
to lay out some whack logic that doesn't make
any sense. And it doesn't make sense because
if you're trying to be logical in any sense of
the word, it should make sense, right? Everything
should follow a set string, a set direction.
It's like when you solve a math problem. You
have to start at the beginning and go to the
end. Obviously, if you're going to add up something,
I'm not talking about advanced math. I'm trying
to keep this as simple as possible. If you add
4 plus 4, you get 8. You're not going to add
4 plus 4 and get 12. That doesn't make any sense.
You see what I'm saying? And a lot of the times
when I hear these stories, it's a person saying,
oh, you're not cripple or you're not... handicap
you have both your legs and hands so you should
be able to walk why are you sitting in that wheelchair
give it to someone who needs it or in parking
space areas you know there are now parking spaces
for family with children where adults or moms
or dads who have little ones who need to get
out quickly to get to the store to get what they
need and leave like infants or whatever those
spaces are available some stores have them some
walmart some kroger's i think they call them
um uh What's the word? For moms that are carrying
or for parents who have little bitty kids or
babies or whatever. They're in the very, very
front of the store. Usually there's like one
or two spaces specified for that. It's becoming
more of an occurrence now than it used to be,
but it's there. And there are people who have
complained that watching... And this is the one
that got on my nerves the other day. So this
is my emotional response to this. A dad got out
with his, I think he had an eight -month -old
child and a one -year -old. And he parked in
that space and he was getting ready to leave.
And this lady, I don't know where, came out of
nowhere. And so I fussed at him for parking in
that space saying it's for women with children,
even though the sign doesn't clearly say that.
It says customers with kids. That's what the
sign said. And complained that he was parking
in that space illegally and that he needed to
move because it was for people like her who have
three kids in her car, all of which are of the
age range between 8 and 12. Which, when you consider
this, yeah, she has kids. But does she really
need to be parked that far in the front? No,
she really doesn't because everybody's old enough
to be able to walk on their own. I can see the
eight -year -old maybe needing to walk next to
her mom, but she's not in dire need of that parking
space. You see what I'm saying? It's just a level
of entitlement at this point. She tried to declare
that the space was valid for him using logic
based off of her emotions. This is something
that you should never do. If you're going to
apply logic to something, you first need to eliminate
the emotional factor. Because as soon as your
emotions start to inflict on your logic of what
you're trying to create, whatever it is, it skews
your logic because you're trying to prove the
point that you're right. And 85 % of the time,
being right is not the best answer. Obviously,
in relationships, this is applied because what
was the phrase years ago that used to be true?
Happy wife, happy life. Obviously being rational
in thought when that thought process was still
legit and believable, you know, before everyone
decided that they were going to be equal and
regardless of how the stands work or the fact
that no one's really getting married anymore
nowadays out of fear or just lack of commitment,
but whatever. Under the guise of happy wife,
happy life, the understanding is that as long
as she's happy, regardless of how she feels,
or regardless of how the guy feels, which I'm
going to be honest with you, 85 % of the time,
he feels like crap. And I've watched it happen.
As long as she's happy, he gets to have a good
day. If we're going to talk about the fairity
of how logic works, that whole ideology is skewed.
Because that means that... as long as it's emotional
based, as long as her emotions are intact, it's
basically what it's saying. However she felt
that day, he gets to have a good day. Or nowadays,
if that still is true, you know, she gets to
have a good day because, you know, you can have
a woman -on -woman marriage or whatever. You
can't apply logic to this. But if you listen
to the logic behind the whole thought process
of how it's supposed to work, it shouldn't work.
Because that's not fair. Emotions and logic cannot
be applied together if fairity is an issue. Because
it doesn't work that way. If you want a fair
household where everybody is an equal opportunity
employer of the way the rules work, then it has
to be applied to both sides. It can't not be
applied to only one side. If you've ever done
math or ever done any form of algebra, you know
that when you solve an equation, both sides have
to be equal for it to be a balanced equation.
That's the only way it works. Otherwise, you're
solving it like a regular math problem, like
2 plus 2 is 4. So when it comes to relationships,
if you want it to be equal and fair under the
guise that, you know, you're still using the
happy wife, happy life scenario, then that means
that it needs to be the same in reverse as well.
She shouldn't be happy and satisfied if her man
isn't happy or satisfied or a woman if she's
married to a female. I'm not going to keep specifying
that every time, okay? I'm just going to say
that once that I don't care what the orientation
is or who you're married to. I'm just using the
traditional sense because it's the easiest one
I can reference at the moment. And it's less
stuff to say every single time. Okay, but my
point is this. If it's going to be fair for him...
then she has to also contribute as well. Remember,
relationships are two -sided. We don't live in
the time frame anymore where the guy just goes
to work and the lady stays home as a homemaker.
That's not possible anymore, especially now,
because people now have to get two or three jobs
or get paid minimum, hear me, minimum $55 an
hour or more just to be able to afford a regular
apartment that has one or two bedrooms. Even
an efficiency now starts out minimum $350. That's
unheard of. So my point being this, if the household
is to work and both partners are supposed to
contribute, then that means that both partners'
happiness should depend on each other, not one
or the other. It would be different if the wife
stayed home in this scenario. But if she's working
just like he is, then that whole philosophy...
Of her being happy so he's happy isn't true anymore.
It can't be true. Because that means that they
both have to be happy to some extent. She can't
come home complaining about how bad her day was.
And expect him to understand and not ask him
how his day was. That's not fair. Because that
means that she comes home to drop her heavy load
on him. He still has his heavy load. He's unable
to talk to her about it. Because one of two reasons.
Either he's being macho and trying to be a man
about it. Which is not helpful. Because that
means it's going to emotionally tear him apart.
This creates stress. Which is why a lot of guys'
hairs turn white before women's do. Unless they
have kids. Which is a whole other issue. Or their
lifestyle is already stressful. So there's that.
And it just puts more emotional strain on him.
And since guys aren't ones to talk about their
emotions. Except nowadays. They're not going
to say anything. They're just going to sit there
quietly because that's how it was. Especially
for millennials. If you're a millennial in this
audience, you already understand this. You're
going to work yourself to the bone, not think
nothing about it, and just do what you have to
do to survive. And it's just how it was. It still
kind of is that way now, it's just a lot worse.
But it's the general consensus of the thought.
It's something that has been this way for years,
and they're trying to change the dynamic. And
I'm happy they're trying to change the dynamic.
But in the response to them trying to change
the dynamic, they're also making an environment
that's not healthy or safe for anyone to live
in. Also, keep in mind that now that the family
aspect has been taken to the point where women
and their husbands, or women and their women,
or husbands and their husbands, I don't know.
whatever works for you, are now both working?
Now, ask yourself this. Since we're talking about
emotional and logical answers, how is this going
to affect the kid and is it healthy for the child?
How is it going to affect the kid? It's going
to affect the kid on an emotional note because
one, neither parent is present enough to give
them the love and attention and affection they
need to help them grow. Is this healthy for the
kid? No. It's not. And it never will be unless
one of them either gives in and spends more time
with the kid or they make a more proactive choice
to be more involved in his life regardless of
the fact that neither one of them are home. Now,
here's the thing. If the kid is in school during
the day, it's perfectly fine for both husband
and wife to be at work, obviously. But then there's
the other fact. You got to remember that you're
married. So your actions that you do when you're
out in the workforce. affect how your home life
is going to be the more open you are with people
on the outside the more of an open chance it
creates for them to attack your home life especially
if they don't like you or they don't like your
husband or they don't like your kid and the more
information they have about you and your family
the more of an opportunity or a chance it gives
them to come after you The more appropriate response
here would be to just not do anything. Just go
to work, be friendly, but keep your home life
out of it. A lot of people tend to get emotional.
They tend to think about, oh, I heard about that
and start talking about family life and talking
about their home situations regarding that said
topic to the point where, oh, now I have a friend
at work. I can talk to them about anything. How
do you know you have a friend at work? You don't
know that. People tend to create emotional connections
with other people because they want to get a
response out of them. They want to get an action
out of them. They want to make them do something.
I've often heard the phrase that, oh, my girlfriend's
just doing that because she wants to get a rise
out of me. And my response to this is this. If
you know she's doing that to get a rise out of
you, why haven't you put a stop to it? You can't
sit here and tell me that that's just how she
is. I can't make her stop. Yes, you can. Actually,
a matter of fact, you can. You can make anybody
who's doing you wrong stop at any time. Or you
can just walk away. It's as simple as that. You
don't have to sit there and take it. That's bullying.
Essentially by its definition. Again, utilizing
a person's emotional response to trigger a certain
action and cause them to do or be a certain way.
My thing is this. If someone is doing something
that they're hurting you. Okay? If they're doing
something and it's hurting you. And it's causing
you to either be upset, sad, or dismembered in
some way mentally because of what they're doing.
That means they're not attacking you. They're
attacking your emotions. They're trying to get
you to mentally break. Okay? And while mentally
breaking someone is not a healthy discourse,
it is more than likely a way of getting people
to do whatever they want. People who market a
lot of stuff... They focus on this aspect, which
is why years ago, before we got to the point
where we are now, people were afraid of people
who went to the store and marketed things, especially
people who did door -to -door sales, for obvious
reasons. Because they focused on hitting the
woman at home while the guy was at work. And
in this regard, By targeting the woman at home
while the man was at work, they managed to always,
in some way or another, coerce her into buying
something that they didn't need. Which is why
door -to -door sales nowadays, or soliciting,
is generally not as common as it used to be,
to the point where people are now hanging signs
on their doors, Do not solicit, I will harm you,
or some type of threat in some way or another.
Emotional threats, emotional backing, emotional
support, and emotional targeting are all clear
schemes that other people or other companies
use to make you do whatever they want you to
do. Let's say you work for a corporate company.
You like the company. You're working there to
do whatever you can. Let's say the company has
issues. They're running into problems. They're
trying to make all their numbers work. They're
trying to get their things back within range
where it's safe and it's healthy. Okay? They
don't know what the issue is, but they have a
manager there who they task with trying to figure
out what the problem is and resolve it. Let's
say instead of solving the problem, the manager
decides to cut everyone's overtime, but then
makes them do the same amount of work. Of course,
this isn't going to sit well with anybody and
a lot of people are going to protest, but how
do you think he's going to respond? He's like,
oh, well, if you don't like it, you can just
go ahead and quit. I can replace you. This is
an attack on your emotional state because mentally
you're like. Oh, yeah, I can get another job.
But because you're already invested in this company,
you're already in a certain position where you're
making a decent amount of money. You're going
to retract and not fight back because you don't
want to lose your job. Now, if you're a person
who has a stronger will, this isn't going to
affect you. And that's a whole different topic
on its own. But let me go ahead and point out
that a personal's emotional state and the level
of their ability to control it is based off of
that person's willpower. A lot of people start
off with a high amount of willpower and self
-esteem. But over time, especially when going
through public school, that self -esteem can
either go up or down based off of how you interact
with other people. Usually the people who are
in school who've been bullied or had to suffer
the worst, usually when they get out, usually
their self -esteem isn't exactly high, but their
willpower to do what they can to survive will
be. So they're able to endure a lot more because
in their mind, they endured worse when they were
younger. But as for the ones who didn't have
to endure this crap, let's say you had that bully
football player jock that constantly beats you
down. Well, now he's in that position where he's
under you. You're the nerd in charge. And you're
like, hey, if you don't get your act together,
I'm going to have to fire you. Okay, well, now
he's in a sense of fear and panic because in
his mind, oh, shit, I need this job. I can't
get anything else because I can't play football
anymore because let's just say he tore his ACL
and he can't run no more. Now he's in the position
of fear because his self -esteem and willpower
to fight back to make sure he keeps his job is
gone Now he's like okay. Yes, sir. I'll do as
you say because I want to keep my job The weight
of emotions on a person's psyche and how they
react and do things is based off of the amount
of willpower and amount of self -confidence that
a person has. If they don't have any, then it's
going to be easier for them to subject to whoever
the stronger power is. This is why a lot of countries
are easy to take over, and a lot of these monarchs
don't have to go through and kill a lot of people.
They just have to kill significant people that
people consider idolized, which is not a good
thing. You know, biblically and all that. And
then take control of everybody and point guns
at everyone that says, hey, if you disobey me,
I'll just kill you. We both know he's not going
to do it because then he doesn't have any people
to rule over. But the people standing there don't
realize that. In their mind, they're afraid.
Because they just watched a guy that they highly
respected get shot down in front of them. It's
a mental game. They intentionally trick you into
thinking that they're going to do something when
they're not. It's how robbers are able to get
away with robbing people. They point a gun in
your face. It could be a fake gun. You don't
know that. Make a point of gunning your face
and say, give me all the cash in your register.
You're going to do it. Not because policy says
to do it, but because you don't want to get shot
in the face. And while this sounds like, oh,
this is just common sense. People are going to
do this regardless. No, it's a fear tactic. But
yeah, that's the general idea. The general sense
is between logic and emotional response. People
know logically that if they push you to a certain
point. They can get an emotional rise out of
you and make you do whatever they want. This
is why adding logic to emotion is a bad idea.
It's something that should be avoided at all
costs. But because marketing companies thrive
on making money and getting businesses to sell
their stuff by making you buy stuff you don't
need, they have to employ this tactic. But at
the same time, it's a double -edged sword. What
about you, listener? What do you think? Have
I hit the point on the head? Have I hit the nail
on the head? Or are there other points to be
made? Or do you disagree with me? In any regard.
Do you think I'm wrong? Do you think I missed
something? Let me hear your thoughts. Let me
hear what you have to say. You know. I'm not
going through... research papers and looking
this stuff up online and doing scientific research.
I don't have to. The work's already done. And
the very proof that all of this exists is under
the guise of everyday life. We all go through
it. We all see it. We all interact with it. Unfortunately,
in my case, I don't have the ability to use my
emotions like everybody else, but because I understand
the basic concept of what an emotion is and how
most of them work. That same marketing tactic
I can use to get my way by leveraging people
to do what I want them to do, but in the position
of forcing them, making them think that what
they're trying to do is their idea and not mine.
Think of it like subliminally programming someone
to do something, which is what the boob tube
or TV set does every day when you sit there and
watch the news. To each their own with that logic.
At any rate, in these last three minutes, I'm
going to open the floor up. Anyone who wants
to say anything, feel free. I'm all ears. I'd
love to hear your thoughts and concerns or opinions
on most of these topics. Moving forward. Like
I said, for each one of these episodes, for each
one of these discussions, live discussions and
talks, They'll be posted to my podcast channel.
So you can go back and listen to them later if
you're not able to listen to it on this platform
on Food for Thought by Dark Cancer Productions.
But like I said, every day is a different day.
How we go about what we do every day is what
makes our day more. how you feel about that day,
how you think your day is going to go, how you
steel yourself to handle that day, and how you
steel yourself to handle all that's happening.
Every little thing matters. You may not think
so. You may not act so. You may think, oh, I
just wake up every morning and I go to work.
But what you need to know is that if you're married
and you have a partner, right? How you start
that day with your partner determines how your
partner's day is going to play out and if they're
going to be able to steal themselves to go about
the day regardless of what's going to come and
beat them down to the ground. Remember, even
if you're a fighter and you can handle this emotional
stress from bullies and other people pushing
you and pushing you and backing you into a corner,
the other person may not be able to. And don't
be so self -conscious that you only think about
defending yourself. There are people out there
who need help, not because they're in danger,
not because they're going to get hurt, not because
they lack the skill to do anything. No, they're
going to need your help because, like I said,
not everybody has the willpower. Not everybody
has that same mental fortitude. Obviously, not
everyone is like me who doesn't have the emotional
thought processes at all. I'm a special case,
one of the few. Now, there are times I wish I
could use my emotions like other people, because
then I can transcribe my emotions better and
explain them to people, but I can't. Half the
time, I don't know how I feel about a topic.
Like, things that should make me mad, I'm just
slightly irritated by, or I just don't care.
I've watched six family members die, and I have
yet to cry or feel sad about any of them. And
I'm pretty sure a lot of you out there listening
to me right now are going to be like, that ain't
normal. Because I know my girlfriend told me
it wasn't normal. She never explained why it
wasn't normal. I still don't know why that's
not normal. A lot of people would tell me, oh,
everyone just kind of, you know, grieves differently.
That may be. But that would mean that I'm in
a state of grief. And I'm not. If you understand
where I'm coming from. At any rate, like I said,
if you enjoy listening to what I have to say,
or you want to see me cover a different topic,
or you have your own questions about things that
you want me to answer, go ahead and shoot me
a question here on Wisdom. It's been a great
place to talk to you guys, hear your thoughts,
or just have you all listen to whatever random
nonsense comes out of my head for whatever reason
I decided to go look it up. Usually most of the
topics I discuss are because I got bored, thought
the topic was interesting, Went and researched
it and decided to come here and talk about it
and hear what you guys had to say. It's a learning
experience for both of us. The app's called Wisdom
for a reason. We share our wisdom with each other
to help each other grow and move forward. Whether
physically, emotionally, logically, or verbally.
Obviously, we can't do it written on paper because
paper can't tell you how a person feels, just
what they're thinking. And the same goes for
text messages. Actually, before I go, let me
go ahead and hit on that real quick. Text messaging
someone how you feel is a bad idea from the get
-go. Messages cannot survey how you feel. And
while emojis give a temporary simulation, they
can also be mistranslated depending on the person
that they're being sent to. And unless that person
knows you well enough, they're not going to understand
what you're saying. It's like a person who's
replying to someone and they just said, okay.
Or if they say, just okay. If you say, okay,
oh yeah, I understand what you're saying. The
person's going to be like, all right. But if
you just reply K, it just sounds like you're
like, oh, okay, whatever. Like you're tuning
them out. And that's going to irritate somebody.
A lot of people don't like that response. It's
just going ahead and throwing that out there.
Trust me, I learned it the hard way from one
of my exes. She hated when I responded with the
word K or KK. Because in her eyes, in her mind,
I'm just ignoring her message. So, but like I
said. If you have any questions, concerns, or
whatever, hit me up on here on Wisdom. Ask your
questions. I will answer them. Or I'll turn them
into a topic for next time. We can discuss a
little bit more. Or if you want to hear some
of the other podcasts I cover that I do over
educational topics and things that people should
or should not know or things that they should
have known, like learning processes, what they
are, and how to apply them, feel free to check
out my podcast, Food for Thought by Dark Answer
Productions. And the coming soon YouTube channel
that I'm going to post these on there so you'll
get to see me in video form soon, hopefully.
That link will be on my podcast channel. At any
rate, I'll talk to you guys later. Hopefully
y 'all have a good morning. It's 625 here. And
I wish you the best. Stay blessed.