WEBVTT 00:00:08.480 --> 00:00:10.960 Welcome back, everybody. Hey, it is Food for 00:00:10.960 --> 00:00:13.400 Thought Thoughts. If it were you, this is Neogentrics. 00:00:13.460 --> 00:00:14.859 I know it's been a while since you guys heard 00:00:14.859 --> 00:00:16.960 from me last time. I've had a lot of stuff going 00:00:16.960 --> 00:00:20.620 on between school, work, being sick for almost 00:00:20.620 --> 00:00:24.320 a month. Yeah, that last one took a big hit, 00:00:24.339 --> 00:00:28.059 trust me. It's like starting over again. But 00:00:28.059 --> 00:00:30.719 hey, I'm back. Here we are. We're going to continue 00:00:30.719 --> 00:00:33.179 where we left off. I don't remember what the 00:00:33.179 --> 00:00:36.960 last thing was we were discussing. But I will 00:00:36.960 --> 00:00:38.679 pick another topic. We'll keep going from there. 00:00:38.740 --> 00:00:39.960 And then I'll read through all the suggestions 00:00:39.960 --> 00:00:43.659 that everyone has sent me. And I'll pick one 00:00:43.659 --> 00:00:47.020 and we'll move on from there. So one of the things 00:00:47.020 --> 00:00:49.600 that was requested that someone asked me to do 00:00:49.600 --> 00:00:54.219 was friendship. What is friendship? Well, let's 00:00:54.219 --> 00:00:57.640 see here. I do believe off the top of my head. 00:00:58.520 --> 00:01:01.299 Friendship, by definition, is the emotional or 00:01:01.299 --> 00:01:05.620 conduct of friends, state of being friends, or 00:01:05.620 --> 00:01:10.180 how do I put it? It's a state of mutual trust 00:01:10.180 --> 00:01:13.420 and support between people. That's probably the 00:01:13.420 --> 00:01:16.079 simplest way I can put that without it sounding 00:01:16.079 --> 00:01:20.659 weird. Honestly, there's a lot of things that 00:01:20.659 --> 00:01:24.680 factor into being friends. I mean, keeping in 00:01:24.680 --> 00:01:27.900 mind, there's a lot of people out there that 00:01:27.900 --> 00:01:30.099 consider themselves to be friends, but in reality, 00:01:30.219 --> 00:01:35.060 there probably aren't. Like, how do I give this 00:01:35.060 --> 00:01:42.040 an example? What is friendship? There's a question 00:01:42.040 --> 00:01:45.819 there. There's a thought there. That concludes 00:01:45.819 --> 00:01:47.719 with the channel and the way everything is set 00:01:47.719 --> 00:01:51.739 to run. So the phrase, a friend in need is a 00:01:51.739 --> 00:01:55.609 friend indeed. While cheesy, most definitely 00:01:55.609 --> 00:01:58.989 cheesy, I kind of find myself agreeing with this 00:01:58.989 --> 00:02:00.750 saying a lot. I mean, over the years, though, 00:02:00.849 --> 00:02:04.230 I realize how friendships can actually mean much, 00:02:04.250 --> 00:02:09.590 much more. Discussing what friendship is, like 00:02:09.590 --> 00:02:11.409 I mentioned before, it's a bond between two people 00:02:11.409 --> 00:02:15.349 who support each other willingly. What that actually 00:02:15.349 --> 00:02:19.250 means to me, as far as what friendship is. And 00:02:19.250 --> 00:02:21.389 then from here on out, you can decide whether 00:02:21.389 --> 00:02:24.180 or not... You know, you agree with that. I mean, 00:02:24.180 --> 00:02:26.240 I personally value friendship based on the quality 00:02:26.240 --> 00:02:29.719 of my bond with the person that I'm friends with 00:02:29.719 --> 00:02:35.979 rather than the quality of the person. I mean, 00:02:36.039 --> 00:02:38.400 the person can be a terrible person. They can 00:02:38.400 --> 00:02:40.020 be a great person. They can be a mean person. 00:02:40.699 --> 00:02:43.050 They can be a bossy person. But, I mean, as long 00:02:43.050 --> 00:02:44.830 as they're my friend and they're willing to help 00:02:44.830 --> 00:02:47.009 me out when I need it and I can help them, it 00:02:47.009 --> 00:02:48.569 doesn't really matter to me. You know, people 00:02:48.569 --> 00:02:50.750 with desirable traits by society's standards 00:02:50.750 --> 00:02:54.389 don't necessarily make good friends. I believe 00:02:54.389 --> 00:02:57.210 most of us can actually vouch for that one, considering, 00:02:57.430 --> 00:02:59.210 you know, if you've been in school and dealt 00:02:59.210 --> 00:03:02.150 with people, then you understand. Likewise, you 00:03:02.150 --> 00:03:04.650 know, I have really strong friendships with people 00:03:04.650 --> 00:03:07.110 who are, like, well, not exactly the coolest 00:03:07.110 --> 00:03:08.689 people in the world. Some may say that they're 00:03:08.689 --> 00:03:11.680 a little weird. actually most people would say 00:03:11.680 --> 00:03:15.139 they're extremely weird mainly my parents so 00:03:15.139 --> 00:03:19.840 i mean they're like these people can you ever 00:03:19.840 --> 00:03:22.379 bring home someone who's normal well there's 00:03:22.379 --> 00:03:25.360 a question for you what's normal that's another 00:03:25.360 --> 00:03:27.759 topic for another day i'm not gonna talk about 00:03:27.759 --> 00:03:32.360 what's normal not today so let me acknowledge 00:03:32.360 --> 00:03:35.539 a famous person saying what's his name um jim 00:03:35.539 --> 00:03:39.400 rons okay You are the average of the five people 00:03:39.400 --> 00:03:41.500 you spend the most time with. Okay, I think it 00:03:41.500 --> 00:03:43.539 is true to a large extent for most people who 00:03:43.539 --> 00:03:45.900 treat their relationships as means to an end, 00:03:46.000 --> 00:03:49.780 getting to the top. I might be wrong, but I mean, 00:03:49.840 --> 00:03:52.479 everyone experiences relationships very differently. 00:03:52.879 --> 00:03:55.680 I'd like to take Ron's saying with a pinch of 00:03:55.680 --> 00:04:00.099 salt, especially if we're seeking to build friendships 00:04:00.099 --> 00:04:03.340 we can depend on for less than a lifetime. Let 00:04:03.340 --> 00:04:07.729 me share three different personal stories. they 00:04:07.729 --> 00:04:11.009 gave me, um, perspectives of what friendship 00:04:11.009 --> 00:04:17.629 is. Um, everybody has their own, uh, topics. 00:04:17.990 --> 00:04:21.430 Everyone has their own themes. So, um, as we 00:04:21.430 --> 00:04:26.529 move forward, um, we'll get more into this. Let's 00:04:26.529 --> 00:04:28.449 take a short break right here and then we'll 00:04:28.449 --> 00:04:46.350 go into these, um, topics. All right. All right. 00:04:46.389 --> 00:04:51.069 Welcome back. So let me try this real quick. 00:04:51.629 --> 00:04:56.629 Um, I know I asked the question, I said, I said, 00:04:56.670 --> 00:05:01.529 uh, what is friendship? You know, and I said, 00:05:01.550 --> 00:05:04.170 I was going to give a, like a story or two. Um, 00:05:04.350 --> 00:05:10.589 how do I put this? Uh, in conversations about 00:05:10.589 --> 00:05:12.949 friendships with someone who, you know, I consider 00:05:12.949 --> 00:05:17.069 I'd like to consider a friend, but. he or she 00:05:17.069 --> 00:05:20.730 may or may not consider me to be one simply because 00:05:20.730 --> 00:05:23.670 of what they said relationships are disposable 00:05:23.670 --> 00:05:27.949 so you know you think about this however you 00:05:27.949 --> 00:05:30.750 wish you know to the person relationships are 00:05:30.750 --> 00:05:32.449 disposable because everything in the world is 00:05:32.449 --> 00:05:37.009 based on value okay they think everyone is ultimately 00:05:37.009 --> 00:05:39.529 all about what is in it for them and no one does 00:05:39.529 --> 00:05:43.680 anything out of goodwill for her the person Even 00:05:43.680 --> 00:05:46.180 family members are disposable, which is, in retrospect, 00:05:46.519 --> 00:05:48.839 kind of sad. That's probably why I don't think 00:05:48.839 --> 00:05:51.300 he considers me a friend at all. He probably 00:05:51.300 --> 00:05:56.579 considers me as a cog, merely a tool, just as 00:05:56.579 --> 00:05:59.439 the other people in his life. Suffice to say, 00:05:59.660 --> 00:06:02.079 I was a little hurt by what he said, even though 00:06:02.079 --> 00:06:04.680 his perspective on friendships and relationships 00:06:04.680 --> 00:06:09.360 is not personal at all. However, what he... What 00:06:09.360 --> 00:06:12.000 he says does have some truth in it. I mean, especially 00:06:12.000 --> 00:06:15.240 in his experiences with any form of relationships 00:06:15.240 --> 00:06:17.579 where widely based on potential benefits and 00:06:17.579 --> 00:06:20.579 rewards. I mean, in fact, his perspective is 00:06:20.579 --> 00:06:23.779 by no means wrong or flawed. I mean, how do I 00:06:23.779 --> 00:06:27.360 put this? It's just a means I wouldn't be in 00:06:27.360 --> 00:06:30.819 it for life, in his life for much longer, just 00:06:30.819 --> 00:06:33.339 as his other replaceable colleagues wouldn't 00:06:33.339 --> 00:06:36.660 be either. And I mean... I'm not saying I go 00:06:36.660 --> 00:06:39.639 around making friends just to, you know, use 00:06:39.639 --> 00:06:42.060 them and then leave. You know, I make friends 00:06:42.060 --> 00:06:44.060 and try to keep them if I can, but because my 00:06:44.060 --> 00:06:46.360 family moves around a lot, it's kind of hard 00:06:46.360 --> 00:06:47.879 to keep them. And while a lot of people say, 00:06:47.980 --> 00:06:50.060 hey, get social media, get their phone number, 00:06:50.120 --> 00:06:52.920 get whatever, stay in contact with them, it doesn't 00:06:52.920 --> 00:06:57.319 always work. Their Facebook can get hacked. Their 00:06:57.319 --> 00:06:58.759 Twitter account can get hacked. They can change 00:06:58.759 --> 00:07:01.800 their phone number. They can move. You never 00:07:01.800 --> 00:07:04.439 know what will happen. I've lost contact with 00:07:04.439 --> 00:07:06.360 a lot of people that I was friends with. And 00:07:06.360 --> 00:07:07.660 then when I saw them again, they didn't even 00:07:07.660 --> 00:07:10.699 recognize me. So nothing I could say that could 00:07:10.699 --> 00:07:13.259 bring back the memories that I had with them 00:07:13.259 --> 00:07:16.839 because they couldn't remember who I was. So 00:07:16.839 --> 00:07:19.439 by someone whose standards are similar to his, 00:07:19.620 --> 00:07:22.459 he would be a perfect friend to a person who 00:07:22.459 --> 00:07:25.379 is similar to him. Let me also say he is actually 00:07:25.379 --> 00:07:29.600 a great person who is liked by people around 00:07:29.600 --> 00:07:33.160 him, though probably not for very much longer. 00:07:34.800 --> 00:07:38.220 Great foundations of friendship, and not coincidental, 00:07:38.259 --> 00:07:41.139 other kinds of relationships too, are built on 00:07:41.139 --> 00:07:44.360 loyalty, honesty, empathy, acceptance, love, 00:07:44.579 --> 00:07:48.410 and the list goes on. But I think the, you know, 00:07:48.410 --> 00:07:49.709 the simple most important ingredient here is 00:07:49.709 --> 00:07:51.910 definitely trust. Without trust, you know, two 00:07:51.910 --> 00:07:53.990 people can't traverse the acquaintanceship, deepen 00:07:53.990 --> 00:07:56.589 the friendship to a stage where they are basically 00:07:56.589 --> 00:07:59.269 like family. You know, some might argue friendships 00:07:59.269 --> 00:08:02.470 are, between man and woman, tend to face a lot 00:08:02.470 --> 00:08:04.810 of obstacles when either or both parties want 00:08:04.810 --> 00:08:09.149 to deepen their friendship. Well, of course it, 00:08:09.230 --> 00:08:12.529 how do I say this? Of course it does. I mean, 00:08:12.550 --> 00:08:15.050 I would. I would admit men would usually have 00:08:15.050 --> 00:08:17.689 more problems with maintaining a platonic friendship 00:08:17.689 --> 00:08:20.089 with women as, you know, emotions can tend to 00:08:20.089 --> 00:08:22.550 get in the way. I mean, I've had my fair share 00:08:22.550 --> 00:08:24.769 of problems. Trust me. Like, I've tried just 00:08:24.769 --> 00:08:26.230 wanting to be friends with someone and they kept 00:08:26.230 --> 00:08:29.449 trying to date me. It was really annoying. But, 00:08:29.670 --> 00:08:32.110 you know, not anymore. But again, like I said, 00:08:32.230 --> 00:08:34.309 you know, that's a topic for another day. And 00:08:34.309 --> 00:08:36.409 I do believe I already covered dating as it is 00:08:36.409 --> 00:08:40.120 already. So, you know. I still think everything 00:08:40.120 --> 00:08:42.460 boils down to just trust. I mean, if a friendship 00:08:42.460 --> 00:08:44.779 between a man and a woman is built on strong 00:08:44.779 --> 00:08:48.440 mutual trust, that their bond is strictly, or 00:08:48.440 --> 00:08:50.639 at least, you know, platonic, I think, you know, 00:08:50.659 --> 00:08:54.360 a family friendship is still possible. You know, 00:08:54.360 --> 00:08:59.139 but that's just one of the views. The second 00:08:59.139 --> 00:09:05.059 one was... How do I put this? So, you know, talking 00:09:05.059 --> 00:09:07.840 with a couple of friends... Over the years. Here's 00:09:07.840 --> 00:09:11.240 an interesting story. I don't have very many 00:09:11.240 --> 00:09:13.179 friends. Because of some personal history. I 00:09:13.179 --> 00:09:18.299 do have. This one best friend though. We'll tell 00:09:18.299 --> 00:09:20.200 each other almost everything. We'll give each 00:09:20.200 --> 00:09:22.740 other support whenever we need it. And we accept 00:09:22.740 --> 00:09:25.480 each other for who we are. Basically what as. 00:09:25.639 --> 00:09:30.240 We basically graduated together. In a way. I 00:09:30.240 --> 00:09:32.899 mean. Sounds like a strong friendship there. 00:09:33.419 --> 00:09:44.620 The only problem is. It's a he. Yeah. Because 00:09:44.620 --> 00:09:47.080 of a past incident, I fell out with virtually 00:09:47.080 --> 00:09:50.820 every single male friend I had, including that 00:09:50.820 --> 00:09:53.820 one person. That's what she said. Years later, 00:09:53.919 --> 00:09:56.620 when I wanted to reconcile with those friends, 00:09:56.799 --> 00:09:59.679 all of them shunned me except for that one person. 00:10:00.200 --> 00:10:02.840 Instead of mentioning my past actions, he started 00:10:02.840 --> 00:10:07.539 by asking if she was fine. I keep wanting to 00:10:07.539 --> 00:10:09.139 say me, and I'm talking about what she said. 00:10:09.500 --> 00:10:16.279 Sorry. He told her he was more concerned about 00:10:16.279 --> 00:10:20.759 her well -being than his own. Now they're back 00:10:20.759 --> 00:10:27.259 to being friends. But she's always had qualms 00:10:27.259 --> 00:10:29.740 about deepening their friendship. And they called 00:10:29.740 --> 00:10:33.360 each other often, but they would try not... They 00:10:33.360 --> 00:10:36.600 would... How do I put this? They tried to draw 00:10:36.600 --> 00:10:41.240 a line between in their relationship about being 00:10:41.240 --> 00:10:47.220 friends. So it wouldn't go any further. How do 00:10:47.220 --> 00:10:49.500 I put this? One of the things that made it difficult 00:10:49.500 --> 00:10:52.059 for this person was probably the fact that her 00:10:52.059 --> 00:10:55.840 family has an Asian background. Honestly, I don't 00:10:55.840 --> 00:10:57.399 think that had a reason, but this is what she's 00:10:57.399 --> 00:11:00.360 telling me. So, she believes there is an invisible 00:11:00.360 --> 00:11:02.919 line or boundary men and women should never cross. 00:11:03.139 --> 00:11:05.299 A man and a woman should never drink with each 00:11:05.299 --> 00:11:07.860 other until the wee hours of the night. They 00:11:07.860 --> 00:11:10.080 shouldn't call each other every day till late. 00:11:10.200 --> 00:11:12.179 They definitely shouldn't suggest each other, 00:11:12.259 --> 00:11:16.039 suggest either of them take a 12 -hour flight 00:11:16.039 --> 00:11:19.860 to travel almost half the globe just to keep 00:11:19.860 --> 00:11:22.320 the other company. You know, these are a couple, 00:11:22.440 --> 00:11:24.850 these are what... things that couples would do, 00:11:24.870 --> 00:11:28.230 not friends. And technically, she is right. I 00:11:28.230 --> 00:11:32.230 mean, so I had to ask her, do you like him? Not 00:11:32.230 --> 00:11:34.610 as a friend, but as a man. She shook her head 00:11:34.610 --> 00:11:37.549 saying that she only liked him as a friend and 00:11:37.549 --> 00:11:42.350 he looks at her the same way, too. You know, 00:11:42.350 --> 00:11:45.009 I gave some of my heartfelt thoughts and hoping 00:11:45.009 --> 00:11:47.529 to lend her some encouragement to do what she 00:11:47.529 --> 00:11:52.799 knows is best for herself. You know, if... How 00:11:52.799 --> 00:11:58.580 did I say this? Oh boy. Memory fades. Okay. If 00:11:58.580 --> 00:12:01.120 both of you are sure of your friendship and feelings 00:12:01.120 --> 00:12:03.240 towards each other, nothing more than friends, 00:12:03.379 --> 00:12:05.519 then you shouldn't be worried. For what you had 00:12:05.519 --> 00:12:07.580 told me, he's a great person and, you know, both 00:12:07.580 --> 00:12:09.879 of you click so well. It's hard to find a person 00:12:09.879 --> 00:12:11.519 with a personality that clicks with your own, 00:12:11.700 --> 00:12:13.840 let alone someone with whom you can trust and 00:12:13.840 --> 00:12:15.720 depend on so dearly. So you shouldn't overthink 00:12:15.720 --> 00:12:18.200 the invisible lines, or Asian lines, whatever 00:12:18.200 --> 00:12:20.799 you want to call it, and boundaries our society 00:12:20.799 --> 00:12:23.600 has forced upon you. Um, you know, psychologically, 00:12:23.779 --> 00:12:26.379 of course, after the chat, you know, I made a 00:12:26.379 --> 00:12:28.500 bid for a deeper friendship and added if, uh, 00:12:28.519 --> 00:12:32.039 you know, it seems like we would always have 00:12:32.039 --> 00:12:34.379 deep conversations unknowingly. Maybe we might 00:12:34.379 --> 00:12:37.960 have a good friendship too. She, she reciprocated 00:12:37.960 --> 00:12:40.340 that bid. You know, it really touched, it really 00:12:40.340 --> 00:12:43.360 touched her heart. So, I mean, in different situations, 00:12:43.460 --> 00:12:45.940 it just depends. You know, I have a lot of friends 00:12:45.940 --> 00:12:47.980 that are this way and I have to go through a 00:12:47.980 --> 00:12:49.620 lot of these different situations with them. 00:12:50.000 --> 00:12:54.730 So. You can't really peg one type of thing to 00:12:54.730 --> 00:12:57.289 one type of person. No two people are the same, 00:12:57.389 --> 00:13:00.909 keeping that in mind. So I'm going to take another 00:13:00.909 --> 00:13:02.450 short break here, and then we're going to switch 00:13:02.450 --> 00:13:05.029 to how you can actually make friends. I'm going 00:13:05.029 --> 00:13:30.990 to give some tips on that. Okay, so, picking 00:13:30.990 --> 00:13:34.590 up on what I was saying before. In reality, friendships 00:13:34.590 --> 00:13:36.690 are among the trickiest relationships out there. 00:13:37.070 --> 00:13:40.090 As hard as it may be to find romantic love, it's 00:13:40.090 --> 00:13:42.070 arguably even more difficult to pick up a new 00:13:42.070 --> 00:13:45.190 pal for someone who you can really connect with 00:13:45.190 --> 00:13:47.549 and keep in touch with with buddies from the 00:13:47.549 --> 00:13:51.250 past. I mean, there's no reason to resign ourselves 00:13:51.250 --> 00:13:53.769 to a life of solitude, especially since having 00:13:53.769 --> 00:13:56.110 friends is tremendously important for our health 00:13:56.110 --> 00:14:00.470 and happiness. So, I mean, here's the, what's 00:14:00.470 --> 00:14:02.950 the deal? There's the question right there. What's 00:14:02.950 --> 00:14:07.909 the deal? You know, 20 -somethings, 20 -somethings? 00:14:08.269 --> 00:14:10.789 Yeah. They're among the friendliest people out 00:14:10.789 --> 00:14:13.570 there. Nearly everyone in this age group usually, 00:14:13.710 --> 00:14:16.250 you know, uses some form of social media, meaning 00:14:16.250 --> 00:14:18.210 they have constant opportunities to share the, 00:14:18.330 --> 00:14:22.409 you know, every minute of their life with hundreds 00:14:22.409 --> 00:14:24.029 and even thousands of connections and people 00:14:24.029 --> 00:14:26.980 around the world that they don't even know. Or 00:14:26.980 --> 00:14:29.059 they may know over the connection, but they don't 00:14:29.059 --> 00:14:30.919 know in person. I mean, at the same time, there 00:14:30.919 --> 00:14:33.759 are good reasons to believe American adults are 00:14:33.759 --> 00:14:37.480 getting lonelier as well. I mean, they've done 00:14:37.480 --> 00:14:41.139 surveys on this. Most surveys have found that 00:14:41.139 --> 00:14:45.980 we have fewer friends than we did in the 1980s, 00:14:45.980 --> 00:14:48.320 which is kind of sad. But if you think about 00:14:48.320 --> 00:14:50.720 it, it's mostly technology's fault. Everyone 00:14:50.720 --> 00:14:52.220 would rather be on their phone rather than talking 00:14:52.220 --> 00:14:57.669 to someone face -to -face. know how to make new 00:14:57.669 --> 00:15:00.690 friends, or feel abandoned by their old ones. 00:15:00.850 --> 00:15:06.169 And this has become really sad. So, I mean, with 00:15:06.169 --> 00:15:08.950 these constant trends and things as such, I mean, 00:15:08.970 --> 00:15:12.990 this trend has become troublesome. Given that 00:15:12.990 --> 00:15:15.570 friendships are important, if not crucial, for 00:15:15.570 --> 00:15:18.990 our well -being, some scientists argue that humans 00:15:18.990 --> 00:15:22.509 are inherently social creatures, wired to benefit 00:15:22.509 --> 00:15:25.309 from close relationships, family, romantic partners, 00:15:25.470 --> 00:15:29.419 of course. Friends. Other research suggests a 00:15:29.419 --> 00:15:32.299 network of close friends can reduce stress and 00:15:32.299 --> 00:15:34.240 promote good health and longevity. That depends 00:15:34.240 --> 00:15:36.580 on the type of friends you have, by the way. 00:15:37.200 --> 00:15:39.720 While it's perfectly reasonable to desire some 00:15:39.720 --> 00:15:42.720 alone time. Come on. Does anyone really need 00:15:42.720 --> 00:15:47.340 to know we watched an entire season of whatever 00:15:47.340 --> 00:15:51.019 on Netflix in one weekend? Nothing can replace 00:15:51.019 --> 00:15:53.039 the value of a close friend. Everyone doesn't 00:15:53.039 --> 00:15:54.960 need to know that. If you have a close friend 00:15:54.960 --> 00:15:57.600 that knows that, great. But you don't need to 00:15:57.600 --> 00:15:59.100 tell the whole world, hey, I sat here and watched 00:15:59.100 --> 00:16:01.700 the entire series of Game of Thrones. Good on 00:16:01.700 --> 00:16:03.820 you. I am not sitting here for 15 seasons watching 00:16:03.820 --> 00:16:09.240 over 370 episodes of hour -long episodes of... 00:16:09.240 --> 00:16:15.320 What did I just say? Game of Thrones. I don't 00:16:15.320 --> 00:16:16.960 hate the show. For some reason, I just can't 00:16:16.960 --> 00:16:19.559 seem to get myself to sit there for an hour each 00:16:19.559 --> 00:16:23.580 episode to watch it. I like my anime. That's 00:16:23.580 --> 00:16:26.740 me. But my shows are usually... 28 minutes or 00:16:26.740 --> 00:16:29.360 less so for a reason because I want to be able 00:16:29.360 --> 00:16:30.779 to get up and still go do something else and 00:16:30.779 --> 00:16:32.960 not sit there and have to you know gorge out 00:16:32.960 --> 00:16:35.580 on an entire episode and I have friends that 00:16:35.580 --> 00:16:37.799 know this so they don't try to force me to watch 00:16:37.799 --> 00:16:40.600 shows I apparently just can't don't have the 00:16:40.600 --> 00:16:43.340 mental capacity to sit there for which is weird 00:16:43.340 --> 00:16:45.139 because I can sit and drive for up to eight hours 00:16:45.139 --> 00:16:48.120 when I'm getting them out unfortunately making 00:16:48.120 --> 00:16:50.360 and retaining friends isn't always easy but it 00:16:50.360 --> 00:16:52.679 can be done for anyone confused about how exactly 00:16:52.679 --> 00:16:55.840 to do this you know forging new friendships or 00:16:55.840 --> 00:16:58.059 straightening old ones i do have a couple of 00:16:58.059 --> 00:17:00.480 tips that you know are more creative and practical 00:17:00.480 --> 00:17:03.820 than old ones just to put you know yourself out 00:17:03.820 --> 00:17:06.240 there if you're willing to try them you know 00:17:06.240 --> 00:17:09.519 continue on with the rest of this episode and 00:17:09.519 --> 00:17:27.059 you'll figure it out okay Okay, gold tier, gold 00:17:27.059 --> 00:17:31.599 tier, gold tier. Let's get started. Gold tier, 00:17:31.740 --> 00:17:34.759 meaning we're going to start at the... Actually, 00:17:34.940 --> 00:17:37.640 not gold tier. We'll start at the very bottom. 00:17:37.700 --> 00:17:40.920 We'll start with bronze. First things first, 00:17:41.099 --> 00:17:44.599 do it blind. Okay, that's the first step. I kid 00:17:44.599 --> 00:17:47.839 you not. Most of us have heard of the title blind 00:17:47.839 --> 00:17:51.980 date. Okay, you can play a... You can let a friend 00:17:51.980 --> 00:17:54.299 play matchmaker and set you up with someone we've 00:17:54.299 --> 00:17:57.059 never met before. If you've just moved to another 00:17:57.059 --> 00:17:59.500 city, have a friend set you up on a total platonic 00:17:59.500 --> 00:18:02.140 blind date with one of his or her friends who 00:18:02.140 --> 00:18:04.720 lives nearby. You'll be less likely to call your 00:18:04.720 --> 00:18:08.099 friend angry if the potential match turns sour. 00:18:09.940 --> 00:18:12.720 It works out well. And I'm not saying a date 00:18:12.720 --> 00:18:15.019 in terms of like you're trying to get to know 00:18:15.019 --> 00:18:17.400 the person as to date the person. No, it's to 00:18:17.400 --> 00:18:20.200 give you someone to hang out with in that area. 00:18:20.779 --> 00:18:24.119 So that you can at least be one person there 00:18:24.119 --> 00:18:27.140 that you know. Instead of going in and knowing 00:18:27.140 --> 00:18:29.559 nobody. I've already done this multiple times. 00:18:29.839 --> 00:18:31.960 It sucks coming into a new area and not knowing 00:18:31.960 --> 00:18:36.359 about a single person at that school. Only thing 00:18:36.359 --> 00:18:38.299 that helped me was getting to know a staff member 00:18:38.299 --> 00:18:40.259 who introduced me to another person. Who introduced 00:18:40.259 --> 00:18:42.319 me to another person and it went from there. 00:18:42.460 --> 00:18:44.859 So it does work. It just depends on your personality. 00:18:45.759 --> 00:18:49.380 Two, be yourself. Okay, when you pursue hobbies, 00:18:49.519 --> 00:18:51.480 activities you enjoy, you have a good chance 00:18:51.480 --> 00:18:54.000 of meeting people with similar interests. So 00:18:54.000 --> 00:18:56.500 check out the local lecture on modern literature 00:18:56.500 --> 00:18:58.839 and sign up for sushi making lessons, if you 00:18:58.839 --> 00:19:03.680 like sushi. Each event is a chance to make a 00:19:03.680 --> 00:19:06.720 whole new room full of people, your potential 00:19:06.720 --> 00:19:09.880 friends, or like -minded buddies. I mean, you 00:19:09.880 --> 00:19:10.980 don't have to sign up for sushi making, you can 00:19:10.980 --> 00:19:12.759 sign up for baking if you like to cook. I like 00:19:12.759 --> 00:19:18.529 to cook. Or guitar playing, or... Music or just 00:19:18.529 --> 00:19:24.470 sewing. There's a sewing club here. I know. I'm 00:19:24.470 --> 00:19:26.710 probably going to take that because to me it 00:19:26.710 --> 00:19:28.130 seems like something that would be useful in 00:19:28.130 --> 00:19:33.210 the future. Three. Get up close and personal. 00:19:33.269 --> 00:19:35.029 Not in their face. That's two different things. 00:19:35.470 --> 00:19:38.069 When you're just starting to get to know someone, 00:19:38.210 --> 00:19:42.430 foster intimacy by talking about something deeper 00:19:42.430 --> 00:19:45.670 than the stupid weather. I kid you not. Every 00:19:45.670 --> 00:19:47.369 time someone tries to start a conversation with 00:19:47.369 --> 00:19:48.769 someone they don't know, first thing they talk 00:19:48.769 --> 00:19:52.809 about is the weather. Find something else. Don't 00:19:52.809 --> 00:19:54.670 even talk about their clothes. If you really 00:19:54.670 --> 00:19:56.809 can't think of anything, fine, you can go with 00:19:56.809 --> 00:19:58.609 the clothes. Just do not talk about the weather. 00:19:59.430 --> 00:20:01.049 Once you two have been talking for a while, try 00:20:01.049 --> 00:20:03.509 what researchers call the fast friends technique. 00:20:04.109 --> 00:20:06.309 Basically, each party gradually discloses something 00:20:06.309 --> 00:20:09.269 meaningful about him or herself. For example... 00:20:09.450 --> 00:20:11.769 Each person could answer the question, if you 00:20:11.769 --> 00:20:13.529 could wake up tomorrow having gained any one 00:20:13.529 --> 00:20:16.450 quality or ability, what would it be? I'm not 00:20:16.450 --> 00:20:20.710 answering that question, by the way. If you want 00:20:20.710 --> 00:20:23.910 to know, you got to ask me yourself. Four, be 00:20:23.910 --> 00:20:26.789 persistent. While not everyone has the courage 00:20:26.789 --> 00:20:29.829 to actually do it, most of us know how to pursue 00:20:29.829 --> 00:20:32.269 a crush. Send flowers to their office, invite 00:20:32.269 --> 00:20:34.809 them to a concert featuring a band you know they 00:20:34.809 --> 00:20:38.529 love, ask them to check. Yes or no, under the 00:20:38.529 --> 00:20:40.549 question, will you go out with me? Please don't 00:20:40.549 --> 00:20:42.890 do that anymore. I don't think anyone does that 00:20:42.890 --> 00:20:45.029 anymore. I think that's only a thing you do in 00:20:45.029 --> 00:20:47.390 third grade. I don't know why I even bothered 00:20:47.390 --> 00:20:52.170 saying it. Apply similar but less romantic tactics 00:20:52.170 --> 00:20:55.670 when pursuing a potential friend. For example, 00:20:55.809 --> 00:20:58.009 send a person an email, ask them to lunch or 00:20:58.009 --> 00:21:00.549 a coffee date next week, or follow up afterwards 00:21:00.549 --> 00:21:04.829 to say you had a good time. Something. To induce 00:21:04.829 --> 00:21:07.950 a second, third, or fourth meeting so that you 00:21:07.950 --> 00:21:09.869 have a potentiality of actually having someone 00:21:09.869 --> 00:21:14.650 to talk to or make friends with. Okay? And then 00:21:14.650 --> 00:21:20.750 fifth. I almost lost count. Set a goal. It might 00:21:20.750 --> 00:21:22.549 sound superficial, but the next time you go to 00:21:22.549 --> 00:21:24.849 a party, tell yourself you want to leave with 00:21:24.849 --> 00:21:28.289 three new friends or maybe even just one. That 00:21:28.289 --> 00:21:30.819 way you'll at least... You know, be more open 00:21:30.819 --> 00:21:32.799 to meeting people and starting in -depth conversations 00:21:32.799 --> 00:21:34.819 instead of just smiling at the person ahead of 00:21:34.819 --> 00:21:39.480 you in line for the bathroom. This happens. I 00:21:39.480 --> 00:21:42.259 hate to say it, but it happens. It's really weird. 00:21:43.160 --> 00:21:49.380 So, moving on. Six, say cheese. Seriously. We're 00:21:49.380 --> 00:21:51.319 including smiling on this list because it's a 00:21:51.319 --> 00:21:55.440 more powerful tactic for making connections than 00:21:55.440 --> 00:21:58.279 you may believe. For one thing, smiling takes 00:21:58.279 --> 00:22:01.299 us out of our own head and makes us think more 00:22:01.299 --> 00:22:03.359 about the image we're actually projecting on 00:22:03.359 --> 00:22:04.759 people. I'm not saying you should care about 00:22:04.759 --> 00:22:07.039 your physical image, but you probably should 00:22:07.039 --> 00:22:10.740 if you're out in public. People who smile, as 00:22:10.740 --> 00:22:12.980 opposed to folks with neutral faces, are perceived 00:22:12.980 --> 00:22:16.000 as more attractive, kinder, happier, and therefore 00:22:16.000 --> 00:22:18.259 more approachable, rather than someone who has 00:22:18.259 --> 00:22:20.359 a scowl across his face and looks like he's about 00:22:20.359 --> 00:22:23.359 to reap their souls. I've seen plenty of those. 00:22:23.740 --> 00:22:29.269 It's a little weird. Number seven, don't take 00:22:29.269 --> 00:22:31.750 it personally. We pretty much know what it means 00:22:31.750 --> 00:22:34.910 when a romantic partner tells you or tells us, 00:22:34.970 --> 00:22:38.589 it's not you, it's me. I'm tired of hearing that. 00:22:38.950 --> 00:22:42.069 But when you invite a new pal to coffee or a 00:22:42.069 --> 00:22:44.049 movie and then they turn you down, don't freak 00:22:44.049 --> 00:22:46.690 out. Maybe they really are busy with work. Maybe 00:22:46.690 --> 00:22:49.990 family relationships already take up too much 00:22:49.990 --> 00:22:52.569 of their time as it is. Maybe it actually isn't 00:22:52.569 --> 00:22:56.500 you after all. I kid you not, most of the time 00:22:56.500 --> 00:22:58.180 it's not going to be because we live in a world 00:22:58.180 --> 00:23:00.680 nowadays where everybody's busy with God knows 00:23:00.680 --> 00:23:03.960 whatever. Could be in their backyard farming 00:23:03.960 --> 00:23:05.559 and trying to take care of a plant that could 00:23:05.559 --> 00:23:07.720 die at any second if they don't do it right. 00:23:08.200 --> 00:23:11.519 And maybe you can just get a rain check for the 00:23:11.519 --> 00:23:14.160 next week. Even if the event has to be put off 00:23:14.160 --> 00:23:17.279 a month later, consider the thought that maybe 00:23:17.279 --> 00:23:19.640 they are busy. If something does come up or they 00:23:19.640 --> 00:23:21.140 just really don't want to talk to you anymore, 00:23:21.950 --> 00:23:24.230 Most people will say, or you'll get a sign of 00:23:24.230 --> 00:23:27.890 it. Okay. Last but not least on how to make a 00:23:27.890 --> 00:23:29.950 new friend, you know, think outside the box. 00:23:30.029 --> 00:23:32.670 It is possible that up until now, all your friends 00:23:32.670 --> 00:23:35.150 have been 20 something year old women or guys 00:23:35.150 --> 00:23:37.950 who either work in the fashion industry or are 00:23:37.950 --> 00:23:41.029 suit and tie, you know, but why limit yourself 00:23:41.029 --> 00:23:42.950 to this particular crowd? You can easily hit 00:23:42.950 --> 00:23:45.230 it off with a 40 year old who works in finance. 00:23:45.509 --> 00:23:48.549 I mean, you have enough in common. Be open to 00:23:48.549 --> 00:23:50.970 forming new relationships with coworkers, neighbors, 00:23:51.150 --> 00:23:53.349 classmates, no matter who they appear to be. 00:23:54.109 --> 00:23:58.089 It doesn't mean you don't be careful who you're 00:23:58.089 --> 00:24:01.190 talking to. Okay? All that's for how to make 00:24:01.190 --> 00:24:03.089 new friends. Now, we're going to take a short 00:24:03.089 --> 00:24:04.650 break, and then I'm going to tell you how you 00:24:04.650 --> 00:24:07.690 can possibly keep your old ones. That's always 00:24:07.690 --> 00:24:25.519 going to be fun. Okay. Let's talk about how to 00:24:25.519 --> 00:24:29.440 keep the old friends as a young adult. So let's 00:24:29.440 --> 00:24:32.119 start with this. They're old friends, right? 00:24:32.200 --> 00:24:34.440 So they've seen you weep over a dead goldfish, 00:24:34.539 --> 00:24:37.440 laugh so hard that their abs are sore the next 00:24:37.440 --> 00:24:40.880 day. But now we're all professional and it's 00:24:40.880 --> 00:24:42.400 easy to get caught up in the excitement of brand 00:24:42.400 --> 00:24:44.359 new social circles, forgetting about your old 00:24:44.359 --> 00:24:47.480 ones. The tips I'm about to give you will give 00:24:47.480 --> 00:24:49.940 you ways where you can still keep old ties strong. 00:24:50.990 --> 00:24:52.849 You know, being honest, forgiving, and supportive 00:24:52.849 --> 00:24:56.890 regardless of what the reason. Let's dive into 00:24:56.890 --> 00:24:59.809 step one. We're now at gold level. So now I can 00:24:59.809 --> 00:25:02.430 say gold tier, gold tier, gold tier. It's going 00:25:02.430 --> 00:25:06.150 to be my thing from now on. Loosen up. First 00:25:06.150 --> 00:25:10.150 things first, loosen up. Example. So Sarah forgot 00:25:10.150 --> 00:25:13.049 your last birthday and Mark never made it to 00:25:13.049 --> 00:25:15.809 your holiday party. As hurtful as they are. See 00:25:15.809 --> 00:25:18.599 me. of lack of interest might be, try to cut 00:25:18.599 --> 00:25:21.099 your old pals some slack. Instead of assuming 00:25:21.099 --> 00:25:24.079 that they've become mean or just don't care about 00:25:24.079 --> 00:25:26.079 your relationship anymore, consider that they 00:25:26.079 --> 00:25:28.099 might just be overwhelmed with work or family 00:25:28.099 --> 00:25:30.119 responsibilities. And remember that you've probably 00:25:30.119 --> 00:25:33.599 been in the same boat multiple times. Keep that 00:25:33.599 --> 00:25:36.759 in mind. A lot of people tend to think that because 00:25:36.759 --> 00:25:39.160 people don't show up or do anything, they don't 00:25:39.160 --> 00:25:45.019 care. Well, they care. They're just busy. Speak 00:25:45.019 --> 00:25:47.700 the truth, okay? There's nothing like a pal who 00:25:47.700 --> 00:25:50.380 can tell it to you straight and a superficial 00:25:50.380 --> 00:25:53.400 relationship typically doesn't last long. When 00:25:53.400 --> 00:25:55.619 a friend asks you a question about a new job 00:25:55.619 --> 00:25:57.440 or relationship, try to be as open as possible. 00:25:57.480 --> 00:25:59.619 You've built a sense of trust and your friend 00:25:59.619 --> 00:26:01.980 will likely reciprocate with honesty about their 00:26:01.980 --> 00:26:06.160 own life if they can. With that being said, be 00:26:06.160 --> 00:26:08.880 virtually present. That's the third thing I can 00:26:08.880 --> 00:26:11.019 tell you. Even though social media can't substitute 00:26:11.019 --> 00:26:13.019 for real friends, Facebook can actually be a 00:26:13.019 --> 00:26:15.440 great way to straighten all ties. You know, one 00:26:15.440 --> 00:26:17.960 of the studies that I found here while looking 00:26:17.960 --> 00:26:21.480 this up was that posting mass status updates, 00:26:21.640 --> 00:26:24.819 just ate breakfast, delish, doesn't do much for 00:26:24.819 --> 00:26:26.960 close relationships, believe it or not. But posting 00:26:26.960 --> 00:26:29.259 on someone else's wall to congratulate them on 00:26:29.259 --> 00:26:32.599 admissions to graduate school, a new job, getting 00:26:32.599 --> 00:26:35.700 married, having a kid. can actually be really 00:26:35.700 --> 00:26:40.339 meaningful. Okay? Oh, that reminds me. Number 00:26:40.339 --> 00:26:43.559 four. I'll put this at four instead of where 00:26:43.559 --> 00:26:47.740 it was going to be. Keep it brief. Many of us 00:26:47.740 --> 00:26:49.900 have been in this situation. We received an email 00:26:49.900 --> 00:26:51.799 from an old pal, then put off responding to it 00:26:51.799 --> 00:26:53.779 until we have time and attention span to write 00:26:53.779 --> 00:26:57.460 a novel -length response. Don't do that. Please 00:26:57.460 --> 00:26:59.380 don't do that. I have friends who do that. If 00:26:59.380 --> 00:27:01.019 you're listening to this, please don't do that 00:27:01.019 --> 00:27:03.759 anymore. It's really weird. A better plan is 00:27:03.759 --> 00:27:06.299 to send frequent, short emails so you can stay 00:27:06.299 --> 00:27:07.759 in the loop about each other's lives and never 00:27:07.759 --> 00:27:10.240 go too long without an update. I kid you not, 00:27:10.400 --> 00:27:12.700 I have some friends that I haven't seen in like 00:27:12.700 --> 00:27:16.099 months and a few I haven't seen in a few years. 00:27:16.180 --> 00:27:18.980 And the second I send them an email or a text 00:27:18.980 --> 00:27:21.599 message, when they reply back, I get an entire 00:27:21.599 --> 00:27:25.759 blog, if not an entire book. And then I don't 00:27:25.759 --> 00:27:27.440 have time to respond because I'm spending all 00:27:27.440 --> 00:27:29.039 the time trying to read what they just sent me. 00:27:31.060 --> 00:27:33.099 Sometimes it takes me a month to finish it just 00:27:33.099 --> 00:27:37.039 so I can reply. Doesn't mean that I don't enjoy 00:27:37.039 --> 00:27:39.079 it. There's times I'm okay with it, but most 00:27:39.079 --> 00:27:40.880 of the time I just want a short, you know, hey, 00:27:41.039 --> 00:27:43.640 how you doing? What's up? You know, oh, my life 00:27:43.640 --> 00:27:45.740 was great. I got married. I have a kid. You know, 00:27:45.779 --> 00:27:49.440 just simplify it, please. With that being said, 00:27:49.480 --> 00:27:51.420 you know, number five, put it on paper. By the 00:27:51.420 --> 00:27:53.420 time we come home from a long day of work and 00:27:53.420 --> 00:27:55.960 errands, we may have had a little energy left 00:27:55.960 --> 00:27:58.630 to catch up. on sessions but if there's already 00:27:58.630 --> 00:28:00.250 an appointment on the calendar we can't miss 00:28:00.250 --> 00:28:03.430 it so schedule regular phone calls or skype dates 00:28:03.430 --> 00:28:06.109 with pals or friends who live far away there's 00:28:06.109 --> 00:28:07.869 a good chance you'll be glad you didn't skip 00:28:07.869 --> 00:28:09.950 the date and it'll allow y 'all to keep caught 00:28:09.950 --> 00:28:12.769 up every once in a while and with that being 00:28:12.769 --> 00:28:14.789 said that brings me to number six go with the 00:28:14.789 --> 00:28:17.529 flow when a friend experiences a big life change 00:28:17.529 --> 00:28:19.490 like i mentioned before such as moving into a 00:28:19.490 --> 00:28:21.690 new city getting married having a baby you know 00:28:21.690 --> 00:28:23.910 the relationship is bound to change it's going 00:28:23.910 --> 00:28:27.519 to change it can't be stopped Instead of fretting 00:28:27.519 --> 00:28:29.700 that things will never be the same way that they've 00:28:29.700 --> 00:28:34.279 always been, you know, why can't we just stay 00:28:34.279 --> 00:28:36.079 up all night drinking wine and discussing the 00:28:36.079 --> 00:28:40.000 meaning of life? There's a question. Focus on 00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:42.500 what you guys have in common now and be supportive 00:28:42.500 --> 00:28:44.380 of your friend's new lifestyle and remember that 00:28:44.380 --> 00:28:47.039 they are still the same person, just with added 00:28:47.039 --> 00:28:50.279 effects to their lives. You know, I just thought 00:28:50.279 --> 00:28:52.039 about this. Think of it like if you're playing 00:28:52.039 --> 00:28:53.980 a video game and you have another team member 00:28:53.980 --> 00:28:56.480 who has different status effects. He started 00:28:56.480 --> 00:28:58.240 off as a scrub mage who couldn't do anything 00:28:58.240 --> 00:29:00.119 and now he has bonus effects that can either 00:29:00.119 --> 00:29:03.240 help and or hurt you. Most likely they're going 00:29:03.240 --> 00:29:05.599 to help you. That's just kind of how this works. 00:29:07.959 --> 00:29:10.299 It's kind of funny. The meaning of life. Now, 00:29:10.319 --> 00:29:12.279 there's a discussion. I will never cover that 00:29:12.279 --> 00:29:14.220 in any of these podcasts because that will take 00:29:14.220 --> 00:29:17.140 forever to do. The more people I have reacting 00:29:17.140 --> 00:29:19.680 to me and, you know, sending me messages, maybe 00:29:19.680 --> 00:29:21.859 we'll have that discussion with me and a couple 00:29:21.859 --> 00:29:24.500 other podcasters as well. But not right now. 00:29:24.759 --> 00:29:28.599 So, number seven. Bond with your buddy. Say you 00:29:28.599 --> 00:29:30.359 two used to go bowling together every week but 00:29:30.359 --> 00:29:32.259 haven't been in touch for a year. Instead of 00:29:32.259 --> 00:29:34.619 setting up a potentially awkward coffee date 00:29:34.619 --> 00:29:37.819 to reconnect, Why don't you suggest that you 00:29:37.819 --> 00:29:40.500 two hit the bowling alley like old days and give 00:29:40.500 --> 00:29:42.140 it a chance to rekindle your friendship like 00:29:42.140 --> 00:29:44.019 doing something you both enjoy and removing some 00:29:44.019 --> 00:29:45.920 of the pressure of that stupid small talk with 00:29:45.920 --> 00:29:48.420 a coffee cup in front of you and not being able 00:29:48.420 --> 00:29:51.680 to say anything and hoping something random happens. 00:29:52.579 --> 00:29:55.180 Oh, here's a better one. Actually, if that doesn't 00:29:55.180 --> 00:29:57.599 work for you, here's number eight. Get out of 00:29:57.599 --> 00:30:00.259 town. I'm not telling you. I know how that sounded. 00:30:01.220 --> 00:30:04.000 Research shows we value experiences over actual 00:30:04.000 --> 00:30:06.539 items. And what better experience is there than 00:30:06.539 --> 00:30:09.359 spending time with a group of friends? When a 00:30:09.359 --> 00:30:11.640 friend moves somewhere far away, consider saving 00:30:11.640 --> 00:30:13.500 up for a little vacation to visit and hang out 00:30:13.500 --> 00:30:17.660 with their new hood. Likewise, let the friend 00:30:17.660 --> 00:30:19.579 know that your couch is always available too. 00:30:20.160 --> 00:30:22.500 I always tell my friends, if you need some help 00:30:22.500 --> 00:30:25.079 or you need someone to talk to, I'm here. I'm 00:30:25.079 --> 00:30:27.740 always here regardless of what I'm doing. I may 00:30:27.740 --> 00:30:29.900 not be able to respond immediately at the moment, 00:30:29.960 --> 00:30:32.500 but as long as you send me a message, I will 00:30:32.500 --> 00:30:35.440 get to you in my next open second. Because I 00:30:35.440 --> 00:30:38.140 plan stuff down to the second. I just realized 00:30:38.140 --> 00:30:41.660 how weird that is. Anyway, so what's the takeaway 00:30:41.660 --> 00:30:44.440 from this? Okay, sometimes it happens. We bond 00:30:44.440 --> 00:30:46.900 over a mutual love like, you know, for some people 00:30:46.900 --> 00:30:51.299 it's Harry Potter or kittens. Why kittens? Why 00:30:51.299 --> 00:30:55.930 kittens? Why do you do this to me? Um, and next 00:30:55.930 --> 00:30:57.529 thing you know, you know, we're meeting for weekly 00:30:57.529 --> 00:31:00.470 brunches, both of us, uh, both, uh, but other 00:31:00.470 --> 00:31:02.869 times it's harder. You know, we can't help feeling 00:31:02.869 --> 00:31:04.849 like the other, we're the only person at the 00:31:04.849 --> 00:31:07.289 party without a wingman. If you go to parties, 00:31:07.390 --> 00:31:09.869 I don't do parties, you know, whatever the circumstance, 00:31:10.069 --> 00:31:12.829 it's important not to get discouraged with enough 00:31:12.829 --> 00:31:14.569 self -confidence, flexibility, and patience. 00:31:14.650 --> 00:31:16.970 It's possible to find friends in almost any situation 00:31:16.970 --> 00:31:20.849 and keep them for life. I kid you not. It really 00:31:20.849 --> 00:31:25.000 is. So, I mean, that's basically the takeaway 00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:29.380 from this. What is friendship? How does it affect 00:31:29.380 --> 00:31:33.039 other people? What do they think? How to make 00:31:33.039 --> 00:31:36.039 friends? How to keep friends? That's kind of 00:31:36.039 --> 00:31:40.059 the whole premise of this. I try to keep my podcasts 00:31:40.059 --> 00:31:42.279 on point. I try to talk about select topics, 00:31:42.380 --> 00:31:44.940 things that people actually care about or want 00:31:44.940 --> 00:31:47.400 to know. I mean, there's different things people 00:31:47.400 --> 00:31:50.420 might want to know, people don't know, people 00:31:50.420 --> 00:31:53.319 don't really care to know. You know, it moves 00:31:53.319 --> 00:31:58.559 on day after day after day. So, I mean, it's 00:31:58.559 --> 00:32:02.299 just a matter of preference. So, like always, 00:32:02.500 --> 00:32:04.640 if you have any topics, things of concern, things 00:32:04.640 --> 00:32:06.480 that you would like to know about, things you 00:32:06.480 --> 00:32:07.799 would like to hear me talk about, or you just 00:32:07.799 --> 00:32:09.680 want to hear your voice on my podcast, feel free 00:32:09.680 --> 00:32:12.579 to hit me up on anchor .fm. You can download 00:32:12.579 --> 00:32:14.299 the app from the Google Play Store, the Apple 00:32:14.299 --> 00:32:18.339 Podcast, no, Apple Store. Yeah, that's what it's 00:32:18.339 --> 00:32:20.240 called. I think it's called iTunes Store now. 00:32:21.039 --> 00:32:23.140 You can download the app from there, create your 00:32:23.140 --> 00:32:25.099 account, search for my name on there. It's going 00:32:25.099 --> 00:32:26.779 to be neogentrics, or you can go to the website, 00:32:26.920 --> 00:32:31.960 anchor .fm forward slash neogentrics to show 00:32:31.960 --> 00:32:38.359 your support, you know, or listen to all my older 00:32:38.359 --> 00:32:40.759 previous podcasts, so on and so forth, moving 00:32:40.759 --> 00:32:44.059 on with our lives and so on. I'm also available 00:32:44.059 --> 00:32:45.940 on multiple different platforms, including Spotify, 00:32:46.180 --> 00:32:49.500 like I mentioned earlier, you know. I love to 00:32:49.500 --> 00:32:51.119 hear from you guys. I love getting the topics 00:32:51.119 --> 00:32:53.180 that you guys want to hear. And I love talking 00:32:53.180 --> 00:32:55.920 about them. So let me know what you think. Thank 00:32:55.920 --> 00:32:57.799 you for listening and have a blessed day.