Welcome back everybody, this is your host Neogentrics
and this is Food for Thought. It has been a while,
there is so much stuff going on, I have no idea.
uh, between the pandemic, the people and everything
that's been going on so much stuff. And then
in the last two months, I know this is coming
out pretty late and I haven't put out any in
the last couple of months, but I mean, we've
been doing it with so many people in my family,
you know, just getting sick for whatever reasons.
The good news is that none of them have died
to COVID, but the only downside to this is that.
They were still sick regardless. And a lot of
them passed away, including my grandmother on
my dad's side. But with that being said, that's
not going to deter me. We're still going to do
this. So let's get started. We're talking about
negotiations. Alright everybody, let's go ahead
and do what we normally do and get started. So
the topic is negotiation. Not something anyone
or everyone is pretty much unfamiliar with. It's
something that's existed for a while. Negotiation
by trade is a method by which people settle their
differences. It is a process by which compromise
and agreement is reached without avoiding argument.
I'm sorry, while avoiding argument and dispute.
I mean, in any disagreement, most individuals
usually understandably aim to achieve the best
possible outcome for their position, or perhaps
an organization they represent more often than
not. But, however, the principles of fairness
and seeking mutual benefits while maintaining
that same relationship are the main key and the
main source of outcome from a negotiation. I
mean, think about it. There are specific forms
of negotiations that are used in many different
situations, including international affairs,
legal systems, governments, industrial disputes,
domestic relationships, for one, just to give
an example of how they're used and what they're
best represented for. However, the whole thought
of general negotiation skills is often learned
and applied. and a wide range of activities.
Negotiation skills can be a great benefit. I
mean, using it to resolve differences that arise
between you and others, whether it's a relationship
standpoint or not, it's a whole different thing
in itself. And there are different stages to
negotiation. This is something to keep in mind.
And in order to achieve the desirable outcome
that most people want, it's useful to follow
a structured approach. Let's see. For example...
In a working situation or a meeting, you may
need to be arranged in which all parties involved
can come together and reach a reasonable solution.
So I would recommend this process above others.
It's a six -step process. We'll go into each
one individually, but I want to go ahead and
point out the six steps. The first one is preparation.
The second one is discussion. Third would be
to clarify the goals that everyone's trying to
win. Then four, negotiate towards a win -win
outcome where everybody's happy. Agree upon that
action, which is the fifth thing, and then six
would be to implement it, or find a way to implement
it so that it happens. These are the mainstays
for negotiations in a basic outcome, regardless
of the circumstance and the setup, so that everyone
can come to a conclusion that everyone's happy
about. That's typically how this works. but it
depends on situation to situation. Some situations
may not be that simple, and others may require
a little more work, but this depends on the circumstance
to which you stand for and how it goes about
it. And believe it or not, while I do say this
in the terms of it referring to a business sense,
this also applies to relationships as well. The
problem that a lot of relationships have, and
I'm not going to go too in -depth in this, is
because I already did. an entire podcast on relationships
in the past, so if you want to check that out,
go ahead. The mainstay is that people seem to
forget that a relationship is two -sided of the
same coin. You both marry each other, you become
one, which means that you need to find a way
to negotiate with each other, find an equal opportunity
set up in a way where both sides are happy, and
deal that way. Most people can't even do that,
so when something goes wrong, they're like, well,
you didn't do this for me, so I'm not doing this
for you. That's not how this works. You both
live together, I would assume, if you're married.
You have to deal with each other. Y 'all both
had kids together. You have to find a way to
cooperate with each other to get along. Obviously,
y 'all did at some point before you got married.
So I would say go back to whatever helps you
get the relationship going in the beginning and
start there. Remember, a relationship is nothing
different than... The same thing as being friends
with each other, just with more perks and benefits.
You don't really need to change anything. The
only difference is now you live with each other,
you get to see each other's habits and faults,
you get to learn from each other and compensate
for each other's weaknesses. That's the only
main difference is nothing really changes. Keep
that in mind. Now let's go on to the first step
in explaining the first step of negotiation preparation.
Let's go ahead and get started with number one,
preparation. So, before any type of, how do I
put it, negotiation takes place, okay, a decision
needs to be taken as to when and where a meeting
will take place to discuss the problem and, you
know, who will attend. Setting a limited time
scale can also be helpful to prevent the disagreement
to... Uh, that's going on from continuing and
getting potentially worse. The thing to keep
in mind about this stage as it involves ensuring
all the pertinent facts of the situation are
known in order to clarify your own position on
the matter. So you're not going into this half
cocked with barely a glimmer of the idea of what
you need to do. That's never a good idea. Okay.
In the work example I gave before, um, This would
include knowing the rules of your organization
to whom help is also given. When help is not
felt appropriate and the grounds for such refusals
exist, you need to know how those work. Your
organization may as well have policies to which
you can refer in preparation for the negotiation
that's about to take place. This is to also keep
you out of any legal trouble with the company
you work with, since you're the one in charge
of whatever negotiations that are afoot that
you have to take care of. And undertaking the
preparation beforehand before discussing any
of the disagreements and such will also help
avoid further conflict and any unnecessary wasting
of time during the meeting as you're trying to
do this. Okay? Second, discussion. During this
stage, individuals and or members of each side
of the conflict put forward the case as they
see it with their understanding of what the situation
is. There are key skills for this, such as questioning,
listening, clarifying. I'll cover questioning
later on this week, because it's definitely something
I feel like people should understand how to do.
Sometimes it's helpful to take notes during the
discussion stage to record all the points that
are referring to the case, further in the case,
so that there's no need for constant clarification
of what's being said. Key points are definitely
important. It's also extremely important to listen
as when disagreement takes place, so it's easy
not to say the wrong thing because it's so easy
to make a mistake by either saying too much or
not enough. So if you're listening instead of
talking, it'll also help you understand whether
or not someone's trying to pull something over
on you. Each side should have an equal opportunity
to present their case, however. Don't cut them
off. Don't... Try to shove your point in. Don't
try to disagree. It doesn't matter if you disagree.
Hear them out. Hear everything they have to say.
Think about what you're going to say. Think about
what you had to say, what your issues were, and
see if they're having a similar issue or if one
of their issues is the reason why you're having
a problem. By doing this, step three, you can
clarify everybody's goals. Okay? For this discussion
that we're using here, the goals, interests,
and viewpoints of both sides of the disagreement
need to be clarified. This goes back to the whole
listening thing. It's helpful to list these facts
in order of priority, though through this clarification
it's often possible to identify... or at least
establish some common ground. Clarification is
an essential part of negotiation. So without
it, misunderstandings are definitely likely to
occur and can cause even more problems, if not
create even more barriers that become harder
to reach or overcome, which in trying to reach
a beneficial outcome, this is a very big issue.
So let's keep that in mind. Alright, alright.
So, moving on to number four, right? So, we need
to negotiate towards a type of win -win outcome,
okay? Basically, this stage focuses on, how do
I put it, on what is termed as a win -win outcome.
Basically, where both sides feel like they've
gained something positive or something in general
through this entire process of negotiation. basically
you're giving them that feeling of satisfaction
like they got what they want and you know they
can move on with their lives in some cases it
feels like to them while they think they're getting
what they want it could also mean that they think
that they're getting over on you when in reality
you're just making this as equal as possible
so it just depends okay essentially what all
the the negotiation uh negotiating is doing is
basically making both sides feel as though their
point of view has been taken into consideration.
Never try to use the negotiation for nefarious
purposes or just to get your own agenda passed,
because in the process of doing this, you might
end up making an enemy of both sides, and that's
what you want to avoid. Okay? Especially if you're
trying to become a chief negotiator. Alright?
A win -win outcome is usually the best result.
but there are other results, although this may
not always be possible. Keep that in mind that
through negotiation, it should be the ultimate
goal to achieve this outcome, but it's not always
plausible. There's always suggestions of alternate
strategies, compromises that could be considered
at this point. Compromises are often positive
alternatives, which can often affect or help
you achieve an even greater benefit. Based off
the concerns of the two parties compared to their
original positions. Okay? So, after that, we
have step five. The agreement. Right? Agreements
can be achieved only once understanding of both
sides and both viewpoints have been considered
and interests of theirs have been put on the
table. It's very essential for everybody involved.
to keep an open mind in order to make this even
acceptable as an outcome or possible solution.
Any agreements need to be made, or rather need
to be made, need to be as perfectly clear as
possible so that both sides know what has been
decided, okay? Otherwise, this whole shebang
was worth nothing in the long run, okay? With
that being said, the sixth and final step to
this whole ordeal is implementing a course of
action. Alright? There's several different ways
of doing this, but for now, this is the one we're
going to focus on. From the agreement, a course
of action needs to be implemented to carry through
the decision. Okay? Now... This can be done through
strategic thinking and action planning, but these
are topics I'm going to cover later, so you can
look forward to that in more detail. But these
fields allow for you to think about everything
that's being considered, find a way for everything
to work together as needed, and then planning
a form of attack or action planning, if you will,
of how to go about doing it, stating it, showing
it, putting it on paper so everybody understands
how it's going to happen, and then pushing it
through. Okay? Okay, okay. Now we've talked about
the six steps of negotiating how to get through
the whole process. But there's some things I
need you to understand, things that need to be
noted moving forward. And one of those things
is... Failure to agree, okay? This can happen.
How this happens is as follows. Let's see if
I can simplify this as much as possible. But
if the process of negotiation happens to break
down and an agreement cannot be reached, then
reschedule a further meeting to try this again,
okay? Never just kind of let it end. Never just
let it burn out. If you're really striving for
a certain type of outcome, or that's what you're
hoping for, you cannot let it fizzle out. This
avoids all parties becoming basically embroidered
in a heated discussion or argument, which leads
nowhere or can pronounce an all -out brawl, or
worse, have the police involved, or, in more
higher stakes settings, lawyers and legal officials,
which we don't need, because mostly, let's see
how to put this. those guys are super expensive
and in some cases while some are really really
nice most of those legal officials and or lawyers
or attorneys are dicks and they just care about
how much money you can put in their pocket okay
now like i said you want to avoid all the parties
becoming embroiled and heated in a weird discussion
type argument or thing okay Not only does this
waste time, but it can also damage any future
relationships that you and whichever parties
or companies or businesses you're trying to negotiate
on behalf of have already. So if the relationship's
already strained, this is only going to make
it worse. Now, at the subsequent meetings, the
stages of negotiation should also be repeated
again to see if there's any new ideas or interests
that should be taken into account. and then looking
at the situation as a fresh encounter, okay?
At this stage, it may also be helpful to look
at other alternative solutions and bring in another
person to also mediate as well, okay? You never
just want one person looking at this. Now, with
that being mentioned, there is this other form
of negotiation called informal negotiation. There
are times when there's a need to negotiate more
informally. You don't need a formal setting like
the ones I mentioned already. And at such times
when differences of opinions arise, it might
not be possible or appropriate to go through
the stages set out, as I listed before, in a
formal manner. Don't let that deter you, though.
Remembering the key points in the stages of formal
negotiation may be very helpful. Um, in a variety
of like, how do I put informal situations such
as, you know, the husband and wife not getting
along or cousins, family, friends, relatives,
you know, lower end stuff. But at any rate in
any negotiation, okay, the following three elements
I'm about to say are important and likely to
affect the ultimate outcome of any negotiation,
regardless of how you take it. One, the attitudes
of the people involved. including yourself, two,
knowledge of the situation and everyone else
around you, as well as what they want, and three,
your interpersonal skills, which we've already
covered on this channel and this podcast and
how you can improve those. There's still a lot
more for me to cover on interpersonal skills,
but we'll cover those as we go. Those are the
mainstays for an informal negotiation. Okay,
so with pretty much all of that out of the way,
let me go ahead and dive into these three points
real quick and get straight to it. First I mentioned
attitudes, then knowledge and interpersonal skills.
So when I say attitudes, first off, what I'm
saying is, how do I put this? All negotiation
is strongly influenced by the underlying attitudes
that are used for the process itself. to the
issues and personalities involved in a particular
case or the attitudes linked to the personal
needs for recognition that are needed for the
negotiation to take place. Now, things to be
aware of are that negotiation is not an arena
for the realization of individual achievements.
Keep yourself out of it. Second, there cannot...
When we say it like that, there cannot be resentment
of the need to negotiate by those in authority.
Okay? And if you're the one who has the authority
for the negotiation, you definitely don't want
to deny it. Also, you don't want to have an attitude
about it at all. And then lastly, certain features
of negotiation with this in mind may influence
a person's behavior. For example, some people
may become defensive as the negotiation takes
place or before it ever gets started. That being
said, bringing up that second point I mentioned
earlier, knowledge. The more knowledge you possess
of the issues in question, the greater your participation
in the process of any kind of negotiation will
matter. Essentially, good preparation is very
essential for this entire ordeal. You have to
do your homework and gather as much of the information
as you can regarding the issues at hand. In such
a way, issues are negotiated. It must be understood
as negotiation, which, depending on the circumstances,
will require different methods at the time. Again,
your interpersonal skills, which is the last
one. are essential for effective negotiations
both in formal situations and less formal situations
or on just a one -on -one negotiation believe
it or not and you're going to probably find this
hard to believe i use these types of same tactics
while informally with my girlfriend on a day
-to -day basis. There are times she wants to
do things that I don't want to do, and I have
to find some type of compromise. The only way
to do this for me, though, is for me to negotiate
something that I know she wants in order for
me to get what I want, okay? Now, when it comes
down to it, your interpersonal skills fall back
on your ability to verbally communicate, your
listening skills. your ability to reduce misunderstandings,
building rapport, problem solving, your ability
to make decisions, your assertiveness in the
whole ordeal, and then dealing with difficult
situations. If you can master all of these things,
you can possibly master the ability to negotiate.
It's all up to you. At the end of the day, this
is all you. That being said, I want to thank
you guys for staying with me for as long as you
have been since 2018 when we first got started,
despite the spottiness. And I look forward to
having you guys listen to me as I start this
whole thing back up again. You should start seeing
episodes again almost daily. It's going to be
slow in the beginning, but hopefully, if any
of you guys still remain listening to me, I still
have your support, and I want to thank you all
for that. With that being said, That's the end
of it today. I'm your host, Neogentrix. This
is Food for Thought. Thoughts if it were you.
Season 2. I'll catch y 'all next time.