back everybody welcome back welcome back this
is food for thought thoughts if it were you and
this is your host neogentrics now it is currently
12 30 in the morning and i'm back doing my podcast
at the normal times now there's a lot of stuff
going on trying to keep me and preventing me
from doing them i just finished the suicide prevention
podcast for the month of september yesterday
i know it came a bit late but you know school
getting in the way and everything else kind of
hard to you know do what you have to do so I
am going to pick back up where I left off with
communication. Like I said, there's a lot of
stuff I want to cover. I want to get back to
where we need to be. I should have finished this
a month ago, but, you know, life happens. So
I'm going to write off of the suicide prevention
podcast a little bit and to help those who have
a hard time communicating. So today's topic is
going to be on the topic of improving communication
and developing effective communication skills,
okay? Let me start with this. Effective communication
skills are fundamental to the success in many
aspects of life. Many jobs require strong communication
skills, and people with communication skills
usually enjoy better interpersonal relationships
with family and friends, okay? This is a known
fact. Effective communication is a key interpersonal
skill, and learning how we can improve our communication
has many, many, many, many benefits, okay? And
like I mentioned before, communication is a two
-way process. So improving communication involves
both how we send and receive our messages to
people. Okay? So, first things first. Learn to
listen. I know, it sounds simple enough, but
a lot of people can't really do it. And it's
probably a little hypocritical for me to say
this, but... Having not been able to successfully
do it myself. But listening is not the same as
hearing. Okay? I can hear what you say all day
long. It doesn't mean I'm actually listening.
Okay? And this I will admit I am guilty of. Okay?
Listen to listen. Not only to the words being
spoken, but how they are spoken and the nonverbal
messages sent with them. Use techniques of clarification
and reflection to confirm what the other person
has said, usually to avoid confusion. Try not
to think about what to say next while listening.
If you're doing that, you're obviously not listening.
Instead, clear your mind and focus on the message
being received. Your friends, colleagues, and
other acquaintances will appreciate good listening
skills. I guarantee you that. People most of
the time aren't looking for answers. And I've
covered that before in one of my earlier podcasts
in communication. Just because a person comes
to you with a problem does not mean they want
a solution. They just want someone to talk to.
And with that being said, be aware of other people's
emotions. Be sympathetic to other people's misfortunes
and congratulate their positive landmarks. To
do this, you need to be aware of what's going
on in other people's lives. Make and maintain
eye contact and use first names where appropriate.
I can't stress that one enough. Do not be afraid
to ask others for their opinions in this as it
will help to make them feel valued. Okay? And
with that being said, consider the emotional
effect of what you are saying and communicate
with the norms of behavior acceptable to the
other person. Okay? Basically, take steps to
be more charismatic. And if you're not sure how
to do that, I will cover that in another podcast.
Okay? Actually, you know what? Let's take a short
break. I'll be right back. All right, and we're
back. So, I know I've been talking a lot, and
let me... Go back to a topic I covered before.
And let's look at empathy for a second. When
communicating, you have to show empathy. Okay?
Well, first off, what is empathy? If you haven't
heard the podcast on that, feel free to go check
it out. But I'm going to give you a quick definition
here. Empathy is trying to see things from the
point of view of others. So, when communicating
with others, try not to be, how do I put it,
judgmental or biased by preconceived ideas or
beliefs. Instead, view the situation and responses
from the other person's perspective. In other
words, stay in tune with your emotions to help
enable you to basically understand their emotions.
If appropriate, offer your personal viewpoint,
but clearly and honestly, to avoid confusion.
But bear in mind that some subjects might be
too taboo or too emotional or emotionally stressful
for others to even discuss. So keep that in mind.
And with that, be encouraging. Offer words and
actions of encouragement as well as praise to
others. Make other people feel welcome, wanted,
valued, and appreciated. In your communications,
I would hope most people would do this, but not
everyone. If you let others know that they are
valued, they are much more likely to give you
their best. For one, they'll trust you. I'm not
telling you this so you can go behind their back
and backstab them. No, don't do that. Try to
ensure that everyone involved in an interaction
or communication is included through effective
body language and the use of open questions.
Give them room to speak, basically, you know?
With that being said, learn to communicate effectively
in the sense that don't say the first thing that
comes to your head, but instead take a moment
to pay close attention to what you say and how
you say it. In other words, How did my dad put
it? Let your tongue roll around in your mouth
three times before you speak. This will give
you a chance to think about what you're about
to say before you say it. Now, I don't mean that
actually literally. It means stop and think.
Focus on the meaning of what you want to communicate.
Don't just blurt it out, obviously. Have some
tack. Which I do believe I have covered. If I
haven't already, I will. Aim to increase understanding
by considering how your message might be received
by the other person. By communicating clearly,
you can help avoid misunderstandings and potential
conflict with others. By speaking eloquently,
you will come across as more intelligent and
mature. In some cases, this isn't always a good
thing. I'm speaking from personal experience.
It can make you a little distant to other people,
but at least you'll know who is supportive of
you and will help you to move forward versus
people who just want to bring you down. So there
is a benefit to this, but there's also a negative
to it. All right, remember that. Be aware of
the messages you are sending via nonverbal channels
as well. Make eye contact and avoid defensive
body language, if at all possible. You've heard
the saying, old diet, old... Habits die hard.
I don't know what they say about old diets. Don't
worry about that. Present information in a way
that is meaning. You know, where it can be understood.
Basically, how do I put this? Present it in a
way where the meaning is clear. Make it understood.
Pay particular attention to differences in culture,
past experiences, attitudes, abilities, before
conveying your message. And in other words, Avoid
jargon and overcomplicated language. Explain
things as simple as possible. Request clarification
if unclear about a message. And definitely, definitely
avoid racist and sexist terms in any language
that may be considered offensive to anybody.
Okay? Speaking from personal experience here,
it hurts more than it helps. Okay? Actually,
Well, no. Yeah, keep that in mind. It's not as
helpful as you would think. We'll take a short
break. Be right back. Okay, okay, okay. And we're
back. Actually, since we're talking about this,
let me talk about something else in the midst
of this that's actually relative to communication.
Let's talk about humor. When you're communicating,
when you're trying to improve your communication,
using humor is a good thing, as well as a bad
thing. Laughing releases endorphins that can
help release... you know relieve stress and anxiety
and most people like to laugh and feel you know
drawn to someone who can make them laugh so it's
not a bad thing it's you know how do i put this
don't be afraid to be funny or clever but do
ensure your humor is appropriate to the situation
uh use your sense of humor to break the ice to
lower barriers and gain affection of others you
know like my friend here i was trying to get
ready to start this piece and uh For some reason,
you decided to look at me with the dumbest looking
face I've ever seen. By using appropriate humor,
you will be perceived as more charismatic. Okay?
Plus, you'll seem like a happier person. And
with that being said, treat people equally. Okay?
Always aim to communicate on an equal basis and
avoid patronizing people. Patronizing them just
irritates the hell out of them. Kind of like
that whole... family guy thing where Stewie's
just calling at his mom repeatedly. So she finally
responds and all he says to say is, hi. Don't
do that. Just don't. Don't do that. Don't talk
about others behind their backs. And try not
to develop favorites by treating people as your
equal. And also equal to others. You will build
trust and respect. Okay? Notice I said don't
talk about people behind their back. This should
be a known fact, but a lot of people don't understand
that doing this hurts them, especially if they
hear what you're talking about or someone else
hears and goes and tells them. Check that people
understand what you have said to avoid confusion
and negative feelings. Encourage open and honest
feedback from the receiver to ensure your message
is understood and to avoid the receiver instead
feeding back what they think you want to hear.
If confidentiality is an issue, though, make
sure its boundaries are known and ensure its
maintenance, please. Otherwise, you're going
to have more than just a miscommunication error.
On that note, attempt to resolve conflict is
required in communication. How do I put this?
Learn to troubleshoot and resolve problems and
conflicts as they arise. Learn to be an effective
mediator and negotiator. Use your listening skills,
basically. To hear and understand both sides
of the argument, encourage and facilitate people
to talk to each other. Try not to be biased or
judgmental, but instead ease the way for conflict
resolution. Oh, and on that note, do not, whatever
you do, make yourself the target of their anguish.
It's only going to make it worse. It may solve
the problem temporarily, but eventually it will
come back. That, and they may never talk to you
again. So, keep that in mind. Now, like I said
before, maintain a positive attitude and a smile
the entire time if you can. That doesn't mean
smile creepily every time you say something,
because then you'll look like one of those evil
villains out of an anime. That's not exactly
ideal. I guarantee you. Few people want to be
around someone who is frequently miserable, so
keep that in mind. Do your best to be friendly,
upbeat, and positive with other people. Maintain
a positive, cheerful attitude to life, even when
it's trying to kill you. When things don't go
the way you planned, stay optimistic and learn
from your mistakes. If you smile often and stay
cheerful, people are more likely to respond positively
to you. I can actually... Atone for this because
I do this normally. Even when I'm having a bad
day when I bowl. I still have a smile on my face.
Don't get me wrong. I do get upset when I miss
or things don't go the way I want. But then I'm
like, you know what? I'm going to get it next
time. Because, so, sure, I lose one game. What's
one game when I still have another 20 to play?
That means that I have 20 games to make up the
difference. Now I'm trying to feel sorry for
myself because if I do, the rest of my games
will suffer. And that's just a life -like example.
Now, that has nothing to do with conversations.
However, it is a thing that would start a conversation,
as I pointed out earlier. So there's that. Now,
the last two things I want you to worry about.
First is minimize stress. Some communication
scenarios are by their nature stressful, and
stress can, however, be a major barrier to effective
communication. All parties should try to remain
calm and focused. Now, if you haven't already,
go ahead and check out my podcast on stress.
That's a totally different topic in its own right,
and I'm not going to cover that here. But keep
in mind that minimizing stress can help improve
communication. Kind of the whole point here.
You see what I'm saying? Only complain when absolutely
necessary. People will not be drawn to you if
you're constantly complaining and whining and
lingering about things that just... You get what
I'm saying. If something makes you angry, upset,
wait for a few hours, calm down before taking
any actions, or in some cases, talking to anybody.
Because if you do complain, do so calmly. Okay
with a right with a good mindset try to find
some positive aspect to the situation and avoid
giving unnecessary criticism This will help.
How do I put this? This will help make you more
enjoyable and people around you will want to
be around and when something does go wrong They're
at least willing to help you or walk you through
it Rather than walk away from you and say this
do his bad attitude now. I have to admit I very
It does happen to me. It rarely does, but it
does happen to me. And I have to always go back
and apologize. No one is exempt from this. Okay?
Just because you don't see it doesn't mean other
people haven't seen it in you. Alright? Well,
I thank you guys for listening. I thank you for
always tuning into my podcast. I think you've
been a wonderful audience. With that being said...
That's been Thoughts If It Were You, Food for
Thought. I'm your host, Neogentrix. If you like
what you heard, hit that like or subscribe button.
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