WEBVTT

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everybody this is neogentrics and this is again

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food for thought thoughts if it were you now

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like i said before we are doing a set series

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for communication and proper things that everybody

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needs for that so we're gonna pick up where we

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left off um i know the last time we covered interpersonal

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communication uh today i'm going to cover the

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principles of interpersonal communication uh

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so don't expect this one to be too too long um

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and we'll go ahead and jump right in okay um

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one of the things that i wanted to point out

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here is that uh something that is common all

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interpersonal communications are some basic principles

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uh these uh principles govern the effectiveness

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of our communication they may be simple to understand

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but can take a lifetime to master okay first

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things first i want you to understand this interpersonal

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communication is not optional okay we may try

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we may at times try not to communicate but not

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communicating is not an option okay in fact the

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harder we try not to communicate the more we

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actually do and by not communicating we are communicating

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something perhaps that we are shy perhaps we

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are angry sulking or that we're too busy okay

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ignoring somebody is communicating with them

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even when you're not intending to say something

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we may not tell them we are ignoring them but

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through non -verbal communication we hope to

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make that pretty much apparent in which case

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you're still communicating We communicate far

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and more honestly with non -verbal communication

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than we do with our actual words. Our body posture

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and position, eye contact or lack thereof, even

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the smallest and more subtle of mannerisms are

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always communicating with others. Furthermore,

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we are constantly being communicated to. We pick

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up signals from others and interpret them in

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certain ways. uh we understand is based on how

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skilled we are at interpreting interpersonal

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communication between each other okay so one

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thing to keep in mind once it's out it's out

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okay uh the process of interpersonal communication

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is irreversible okay you can't wish you hadn't

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said something or uh and you can apologize for

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something you said and later regret uh regret

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it but you cannot take it back okay Just keep

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that in mind. We often behave and therefore communicate

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to others based on previous communication encounters.

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These encounters may or may not be appropriate

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points of reference. We stereotype people, often

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subconsciously, maybe by gender, social standings,

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religion, race, age, or other factors. Stereotypes

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are basically generalizations often exaggerated.

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Because of these stereotypes, When we communicate

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with people, we can carry with us certain preconceptions

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of what they are thinking or how they likely

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are to behave. We may have ideas about the outcome

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of the conversation before we ever actually have

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it. I can actually give an example of this. As

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you can probably tell, I sound pretty educated.

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I actually am. But when someone calls and talks

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to me over the phone and say they haven't met

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me before, they hear me talk, they hear that

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I sound educated, but then when they actually

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meet me in person, I am dark -skinned, okay?

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I am mixed. But as soon as they see me, the first

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thing they say is like, wait, you're not white?

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I mean, how am I supposed to respond to that?

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So, but I don't let it show. Not neither with

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my body nor my reaction. Instead, I just apologize

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for breaking their expectations. These preconceptions

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affect how we speak to others and the words we

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use and the tone of voice. We naturally communicate

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in a way that we think is most appropriate for

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a person we are talking to. Unfortunately, our

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preconceptions of others are often incorrect.

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This can mean that our communication is inappropriate

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and therefore more likely to be misunderstood.

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And as the goal to all communication has to be

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understanding, it can be said that we have failed

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to basically communicate. By communicating this

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way, being influenced by preconceived ideas,

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we feedback further stereotypes to the people

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we are speaking to, thus exasperating the problem.

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So with this being said start all interpersonal

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communications with an open mind listen to what

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is being said rather than hearing what you expect

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to hear and You are less likely to be misunderstood

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or say things that you will later regret, okay?

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Okay next thing to keep in mind is the endless

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complexity of uh the conversations okay no form

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of communication is simple there are many reasons

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why communication is taking place and how it

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is taking place, and how messages are being broadcast

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and or received. Variables in communication such

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as your language, environment, and distractions,

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as well as the individual involved in communicating,

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all have an effect on how messages are sent,

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received, and interpreted. Keep this in mind.

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When we communicate verbally, we swap words.

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Words that have maybe subtly different meanings

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to different people in different contexts. It

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could be argued that Words are in fact just tokens

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we exchange with each other and that they have

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no inherent meaning at all. Okay? We can communicate

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the same thing to different individuals, but

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each person may have a different understanding

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or interpretation of the message. At any point

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in communication, any misunderstanding, regardless

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of how small it may seem, will have an effect

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on the message that's actually being communicated

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or received. Okay? So with this in mind... Keep

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in mind the context of communication. All communication

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has a context. Communication happens for a reason.

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Therefore, this is a major thing to keep in mind.

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Communication can fail because one or more of

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the participants overlook the context of what's

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being said. And to help avoid misunderstandings

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and therefore communicate more effectively, it

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is important that the context of the communication

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is understood by all. Why is the communication

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happening? Is it important that the participants

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are on the same wavelength so that they understand

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why the communication is occurring? It may be

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useful to start a larger conversation by explaining

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why it is even happening. Knowing the why for

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communication is occurring is an important first

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step. There are, however, problems that can affect

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the context of the communication, though. Keep

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this in mind. First one being timing. Timing

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is fundamental to successful communication as

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well as considering a suitable time to hold a

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conversation. You should make sure that there

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is enough time to cover all that is needed, including

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time to clarify and negotiate any discrepancies.

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Talking to an employee about a strategic decision

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five minutes before they have to leave the office

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for the day, for example, would probably not

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be as successful as having the same conversation

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that following morning. However, that being said,

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he may not even remember what she talked about.

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Next would be location. This one should be fairly

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obvious, that communication is going to be less

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effective if it's conducted in a noisy, uncomfortable,

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or busy place. Such places have many distractions

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and often a lack of privacy, so keep that in

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mind. Last thing to consider for this is misconceptions.

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The context of communication is often governed

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by our own feelings about it. and as discussed

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already we stereotype people and therefore can

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develop inaccurate misconceptions and false assumptions

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and you know when we communicate we may assume

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that all parties know what we're talking about

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when in fact they have no idea we know the other

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person's views and opinions of the situation

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that's another misconception we should not show

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any emotion that's also a misconception The biggest

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one for me that I have a problem with a lot of

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people who talk to me is that they are always

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right and you are wrong. Or vice versa. We are

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always right and they're wrong. This is the worst

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thing that you could possibly do. There are many

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other examples of misconceptions. Highlighting

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the importance of careful reflection and clarification

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in all communications is definitely key. Okay?

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So, with that, finally... out of the way okay

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we can get started next time and i know this

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one was fairly short on barriers to effective

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communication like i mentioned before to help

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improve your communication skills again this

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has been thoughts if it were you food for thought

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my name is neogentrics thank you for listening

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and enjoy the rest of your day