I give them a cure with a fresh new album. Hey,
everybody. Welcome back. This is Food for Thought.
Thoughts if it were you. Season two, and this
is your host, Neogentrics. I don't know how you
all have been, but I hope y 'all are all doing
really, really well. It's currently, and I kid
you not, about 22, 23 degrees here in Houston,
and there is a snowstorm blowing our asses off.
So, but... As long as everyone's at home and
staying warm, everything will be all right. It
is 2 a .m. right here where I am. Today's topic,
we're going to go back to interpersonal skills.
I told you all there was still a lot more stuff
to cover, and there's a lot of things I want
to get to. So today we're going to cover charisma.
What is it? We're going to define it. We're going
to figure out what it is, if it's something that
could be learned, something that is taught, and
how to be more charismatic, if you know what
I mean. So, picking up where I left off, and
it's been a while, so that's a long way to go
back. What is charisma? That's the question.
Charisma, in a sense, is the quality of being
able to attract, charm, or influence those around
you. It's usually easy to identify when someone
is charismatic. However, often harder to say
exactly what skills or qualities those people
have that other less charismatic people lack.
That's kind of a little hard to say. I mean,
to be fair, it's not exactly an accurate assessment
or judgment, but it beats being prejudiced, if
you know what I mean. So, to make things more
complicated... And then what I just said, there
are different types of charismatic people. So
some may be quieter than others, perhaps relying
more on their personal charm than their words
to influence others. And then there's others
who are passionate communicators sweeping everyone
along with their enthusiasm. Nothing wrong with
this, but ultimately charisma is the result of
excellent communication and interpersonal skills.
It is therefore possible to develop and improve
your charisma through these. uh functions and
one of the things we're going to do today is
we're going to like i said before we're going
to define charisma talk about developing influence
and how to develop affability so let's get in
there and get started Alright everybody, so I
did my research, as I always do, before I go
into any topic that I wish to cover. So, like
I said before, we're going to define what the
heck charisma is. So, in order to do this, let's
go to the University of Toronto and find out
what they've found out. Because if I'm not mistaken,
this was one of the areas they studied as well.
And I think their study for charisma involved
like about a thousand people. Anyway, this is
what they pretty much found out. They found that
charisma consists of a mixture of what they call
ability and influence. Everybody's got a different
set of both. Influence was defined as the leadership
ability and strength of presence for that person.
Whereas the ability was defined as being approachable,
pleasant to be around, you know, that sort of
thing. It turns out to be possible to quantify
charisma in a sense that it almost seems that
self -rated charisma levels are actually surprisingly
accurate when compared with ratings of other
people based off of the way they act and perform,
whether naturally or such. Anyway, to quantify
the amount of charisma that you have based off
of these factors. that they use to define charisma,
you can rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 5, where
5 is the highest, against 6 specific statements.
And these will help you define just how much
charisma you really have. Now, let's start with
this. I am someone who is, and then now I'm going
to list all 6 of these, and now you can decide,
based off these answers, rating yourself between
1 to 5, just how much charisma you have. Okay?
So, I'll tell you how the score works out at
the end. So, just work with me here to come up
with a number for each one of these. And then,
I'll show you how to total out in the end. So,
number one. I am someone who, one, has a presence
in a room. We didn't think about that. Two, has
the ability to influence people. Okay. Three,
knows how to lead a group. Four, makes people
feel comfortable, whether around them, with them,
or, you know, so on. Five, smiles at people often,
even if it's not for any particular reason. And
then six, can get along with anyone. Now, give
you a split second to come up with your scores
for each one of those. Total them out. And then
I want you to take that total for each one of
them. Like if one was a four, two was a three,
you know, so on each one down, add those totals
up. Then I want you to divide that total by six.
And that's what gives you your charisma value.
It's just a way of weighting just how much charisma
or an approximate amount of charisma that you
have. Anything over 3 .7 is considered higher
than average. Unfortunately for me, and this
is not something I'm actually proud of. but mine
came out pretty high. You want to know the real
number, you're going to have to message me, though.
But it's just a good way to, you know, build
up a little self -confidence and understand just
how much weight you carry with your influence.
Everybody's a little bit different. If you're
not sure, but everyone's always telling you to
be careful of your actions because it influences
a lot of people, this is one way to kind of weigh
it out and get a rough estimate on... just how
much damage you can actually do. We're going
to take a short break, and then we're going to
talk about developing influence. All right, everybody,
continuing on. Let's talk about developing that
influence that we mentioned before. So there
are statements used to assess charisma that show
that influence generally has three distinct parts.
The first thing is your presence. Next is your
ability to influence along with your ability
to lead. Those are the three things. Presence
is perhaps the most difficult to define and pin
down. Those with presence can generally be said
to be confident and believe in themselves. They're
usually optimistic and resilient in the face
of, you know, general setbacks and other things
of that nature. In other words, charismatic people
are confident people, or at least they have the
ability to appear confident, even if they aren't
100 % confident. Being confident to communicate
in various different situations, one -on -one,
in groups, in front of audiences, is a skill
that many people struggle to even do. Whereas
a charismatic person can only get peer comp...
confident in different communications, but they
can also help others to feel confident, thus
aiding and enhancing in their communication processes
between them, other people, so on and so forth.
Charismatic people are confident in a positive
way without being boastful, egotistical, prideful,
things of that nature. As with confidence, charismatic
people are rather or have the ability to appear
optimistic. In other words, this means that they
see the best in other people, situation, events,
problems. They usually remain cheerful, bounce
back. Again, they have a good set of resilience.
Charismatic people have the capability to encourage
others to see things as they do. Thus, they can
also enthuse and enable other people to feel
more optimistic themselves. Like they actually
have the power to do something about it, even
if the situation seems hopeless. In other words,
positive thinking. Positive thinking and optimism
can be very powerful forces for successful negotiations,
problem solving, things of that nature. Charismatic
people also have a good persuasive and influencing
ability. They can often make people want what
they want and unite them for a common, unified
goal. Though with this ability comes a lot of
setbacks and a lot of negative draws. So keep
in mind that just because a person's charismatic
and it's someone that you want to follow, you
got to make sure that the goals that they're
aiming towards is actually something worth following.
So as with any other ability, this ability can
be both good and bad. Charismatic leaders may
be able to influence and encourage their followers
to do things that might even seem impossible.
They can motivate people to do hard jobs. A charismatic
confidence trickster, however, is the opposite
of that. They may use their skills to gain the
trust and respect of all of their victims before
ultimately extorting them for all their money,
valuables, or otherwise. So this is something
to keep in mind. And then the final characteristic
classified as part of influence for a charismatic
person is that people often have very good leadership
skills. Now, this may be seen by a lot of people
as natural born leaders, even though they often
spend years honing their skills to make leadership
seem effortless. They're not natural leaders.
They've had to practice. They're able to use
a variety of different leadership styles to suit
the circumstances that they're in and those that
are leading. I'm sorry, those that they are leading.
So with that being said, they're usually very
good at developing and communicating a compelling
vision, something that gets the people riled
up. Their general communication skills are usually
extremely strong. It's definitely something to
look forward to when they speak. Like, they give
you a reason to want what they want. So, all
right. I know that was a lot of information all
in a small, small time span. But, you know, I
want to make sure I thoroughly explain this as
best as I can where you guys can understand it.
We're going to take a short break here, and then
we're going to talk about how to develop affability.
Now. Much like developing your influence is to
have a lot of charisma or to develop your charisma,
you also have to develop your affability. The
main areas of affability are the ability to get
on with people, smiling often, and genuinely
being able to make people feel comfortable around
you, near you, things of that nature. Perhaps
the most important element of this is good emotional
intelligence. I don't remember if I covered that
or not, if I have. I'll definitely cover it in
a future episode. So something else to look forward
to. The ability to appear confident or optimistic.
If you're not required, if you are not required,
how do I want to put this? You have to appear
confident and optimistic. If you're not, it requires
a certain amount of acting on your part. Now,
while this may seem like you're just putting
on a fake face in front of other people, a lot
of times that is necessary. But you have to be
in control of your emotions. This is the only
drawback to this, okay? You also need to be able
to harness both your own and the other person's
emotions positively in a certain way to achieve
what it is that you're trying to achieve. Charismatic
people are very good at showing true emotions
when this works to their best advantage. They're
usually also good at masking or acting in a certain
way that makes others believe what they see,
even if it's not what is real. The analogy of
a swimming swan is useful in this example as
calm and serene on the surface. but with a lot
of hidden activity out of view to the casual
observer. When you see a swan swimming on the
water, the water looks smooth, like silk, it's
not bubbling, it's not splashing, nothing. But
underneath the water, that little quacker is
kicking up a storm and swimming like crazy just
to propel himself forward. Now, charismatic people
are also very interesting in the sense that others
want to listen to what they have to say. Because
they give that kind of presence. This is partly
because they have interesting things to say and
a very compelling vision. Partly the way they
communicate has something to do with this. Okay?
And a matter of speaking, they are good storytellers.
Okay? With an engaging manner of speaking and
explaining. They're able to communicate their
message clearly, concisely. Being able to be
serious when they need to be serious. Injecting
humor where appropriate to keep their audience
as attentive and focused. And when they're on
a one -on -one or small group situation, charismatic
people will use open, relaxed body language,
including lots of eye contact. They will watch
for feedback from their audience and even clarify
their position accordingly as they speak. When
in larger groups or making a presentation to
others, body language should become more exaggerated
in an attempt to include everybody that they're
trying to talk to. So, essentially, they're incorporating
everybody and adjusting how they act, move, and
feel based off of the way that everyone who's
watching them is reacting to what they're saying
or doing. Charismatic people are also interesting
in a way that they generally want to listen to
what others have to say, not just push their
agenda. They're likely to ask open -ended questions
to help them understand the views, opinions,
and feelings of others. heartfelt or honest answers
as a reply essentially charismatic people tend
to be empathetic and even considerate towards
others remembering details from previous conversations
and therefore gaining the respect and trust of
that person so I guess one way you can look at
it is charismatic people are good at building
rapport with others. A sincere smile, maintaining
contact with their eyes, being polite and courteous,
they're just effective ways of getting people
on our side and making people much more likely
to do anything that they ask them to do just
because they treated them well and they're nice
to them. So just something to keep in mind about
how to develop your... your affability towards
increasing the amount of charisma you have. Alright,
and that's pretty much it. If you're able to
build up those two areas, enough, you can build
up your level of charisma to the point where
anybody will do just about anything that you
ask them to do. Your affability and your influence
weigh a lot on other people and it, you know,
essentially helps them decide how they want to
follow you, how they want to listen to you, how
they wish to believe you, or do anything moving
forward having to do with you. If your charisma
level is too high, it can also push people away,
so keep this in mind. A lot of people like people
who are charismatic, who show high levels of
leadership. They're going to want to follow you,
but at the same time, the reverse is also true.
So, as a way to close this out, because we covered
a lot of information today, final thoughts. Okay,
well, let's see. Being charismatic involves communicating
dynamically with passion and enthusiasm while
displaying positive body language, okay, in a
nutshell. It involves thinking positively, having
optimism, being self -confident, and also being
persuasive while building the respect and trust
of others at the same time. Like I said before,
while this may seem like it's difficult at first,
with a little practice, anybody can do it and
do it really, really well. We can all learn to
be more charismatic by developing our interpersonal
skills through understanding and practice. Remember
that however charismatic you are, you still will
not be able to please every person all the time.
Please don't try. You will burn yourself out.
It is exhausting. It's tiring. I'm speaking from
experience here. It's not worth the effort. It
doesn't mean that you don't try. You always want
to push to be a better you. But not at the cost
of hurting yourself. So keep that in mind. Alright.
That's it about charisma today. Next time we're
going to talk about tact and diplomacy. here
on this channel. It's been great. I love having
you guys. I enjoy the fact that y 'all love listening
to what I have to say. I love y 'all's suggestions.
Thank you for sticking with me even through these
rough times. I hope you enjoy the rest of your
day. This is Neogentrix. Food for thought. Thoughts
if it were you. Signing out.