WEBVTT 00:00:04.800 --> 00:00:07.179 All right, and we're back. We're going to go 00:00:07.179 --> 00:00:08.859 ahead and talk about three important things in 00:00:08.859 --> 00:00:10.880 which guys can do to improve their communication 00:00:10.880 --> 00:00:13.619 skills as far as when talking to women, okay? 00:00:13.960 --> 00:00:16.100 Like I mentioned earlier on in this podcast, 00:00:16.239 --> 00:00:18.059 you need to be attentive, okay? In the courting 00:00:18.059 --> 00:00:21.940 stage of dating men, it's usually very, you need 00:00:21.940 --> 00:00:25.039 to be usually very, very attentive, okay? Over 00:00:25.039 --> 00:00:27.550 time, that attention... Attemptiveness can sometimes 00:00:27.550 --> 00:00:29.809 get lost like I mentioned before but you need 00:00:29.809 --> 00:00:31.890 to make your woman feel loved and cherished Okay, 00:00:31.929 --> 00:00:34.250 bring her flowers surprise her with her favorite 00:00:34.250 --> 00:00:37.049 candy compliment her admire her dress say things 00:00:37.049 --> 00:00:39.369 you like, you know You have a gorgeous smile 00:00:39.369 --> 00:00:41.530 things of that nature. You know, you want to 00:00:41.530 --> 00:00:45.369 make her feel Special like she's the most important 00:00:45.369 --> 00:00:50.130 thing to you in the world, okay? To like I mentioned 00:00:50.130 --> 00:00:54.640 before listen do not try to fix the problem okay 00:00:54.640 --> 00:00:57.460 unfortunately most women don't process problems 00:00:57.460 --> 00:01:00.719 by others giving them a strategy okay many men 00:01:00.719 --> 00:01:02.939 tend to solve problems by finding and offering 00:01:02.939 --> 00:01:06.060 solutions and although the solutions may be sound 00:01:06.060 --> 00:01:09.060 women often just want to be heard like i said 00:01:09.060 --> 00:01:11.480 before so the next time your woman is blurting 00:01:11.480 --> 00:01:15.579 out her stresses of the day look at her and just 00:01:15.579 --> 00:01:18.159 listen and say it sounds like you had a tough 00:01:18.159 --> 00:01:20.500 day you know and follow that up with a hug or 00:01:20.500 --> 00:01:24.359 something don't don't try to fix the issue more 00:01:24.359 --> 00:01:26.680 than likely that's just gonna make it worse all 00:01:26.680 --> 00:01:29.299 right and then with that being said let's move 00:01:29.299 --> 00:01:32.959 on to the third and final topic for this uh for 00:01:32.959 --> 00:01:38.400 communications is resist defending yourself okay 00:01:38.400 --> 00:01:40.579 this i'm gonna go ahead and say right now does 00:01:40.579 --> 00:01:45.459 not help a guy any way shape or form okay this 00:01:45.459 --> 00:01:47.420 is where a man's ego can get in the way okay 00:01:47.420 --> 00:01:49.280 instead of listening to what a woman is saying 00:01:49.840 --> 00:01:54.079 and seeing her point of view man you at times 00:01:54.079 --> 00:01:56.500 will start to defend yourself okay men often 00:01:56.500 --> 00:01:58.439 think that they're just being they're being attacked 00:01:58.439 --> 00:02:01.500 and so they immediately go into a defensive mode 00:02:01.500 --> 00:02:06.439 defensive type like stand and instead of instead 00:02:06.439 --> 00:02:09.560 you need to repeat her position back to her by 00:02:09.560 --> 00:02:12.300 saying so you feel i should or for the sake of 00:02:12.300 --> 00:02:15.620 this example you know so you feel i should spend 00:02:15.620 --> 00:02:18.620 more time with you You know, you're not necessarily 00:02:18.620 --> 00:02:22.080 agreeing with her, but she will feel hurt at 00:02:22.080 --> 00:02:25.639 least just for the sake of this example. You 00:02:25.639 --> 00:02:29.360 know, overall, I mean, you know, it's better 00:02:29.360 --> 00:02:33.139 to just, you know, hear what she says. Listen 00:02:33.139 --> 00:02:35.539 to what she she's saying is the issue. Look, 00:02:35.580 --> 00:02:38.979 evaluate. what she's talking about related to 00:02:38.979 --> 00:02:41.840 you and see if there really is a problem before 00:02:41.840 --> 00:02:44.419 you open your mouth and if there is don't say 00:02:44.419 --> 00:02:46.259 anything to her like I said before you know just 00:02:46.259 --> 00:02:49.680 agree or at least you know make it known that 00:02:49.680 --> 00:02:51.699 you know you'll you'll try to do something about 00:02:51.699 --> 00:02:54.300 it to make to improve the situation you know 00:02:54.300 --> 00:02:57.960 and then go and take care of it yourself overall 00:02:57.960 --> 00:03:00.080 you know take a look at what you can do to keep 00:03:00.080 --> 00:03:03.090 things alive with your girl and you know evaluate 00:03:03.090 --> 00:03:05.250 how you are communicating you know you'd be amazed 00:03:05.250 --> 00:03:07.770 how quickly things can change and improve but 00:03:07.770 --> 00:03:10.689 just a small a few small shifts in the way you 00:03:10.689 --> 00:03:13.650 talk you know the way you respond to her instead 00:03:13.650 --> 00:03:16.030 of having to go see a relationship counselor 00:03:16.030 --> 00:03:20.750 like every so often you know oh yeah and then 00:03:20.750 --> 00:03:22.530 one other thing i want to go ahead and point 00:03:22.530 --> 00:03:24.250 out right now the best relationship advice i 00:03:24.250 --> 00:03:28.340 could give you um is to is to never stop seducing 00:03:28.340 --> 00:03:30.599 her in a way in a good way you know and one of 00:03:30.599 --> 00:03:33.199 the biggest mistakes guys make is to stop being 00:03:33.199 --> 00:03:35.300 the seducer as soon as a girl calls them that 00:03:35.300 --> 00:03:38.819 calls them uh her boyfriend a real seducer knows 00:03:38.819 --> 00:03:40.360 that the beginning of a relationship is not the 00:03:40.360 --> 00:03:43.879 end of seduction it's just an intersect uh interstation 00:03:43.879 --> 00:03:47.280 if you will that craves for a change of playing 00:03:47.280 --> 00:03:50.580 the game you know or rather a chance to keep 00:03:50.580 --> 00:03:52.900 playing you know the game is still going and 00:03:52.900 --> 00:03:55.800 we'll make and it remains exactly the same okay 00:03:56.509 --> 00:03:58.909 Every word, every touch, every kiss is part of 00:03:58.909 --> 00:04:01.969 that same seduction. It's using that word loosely, 00:04:02.090 --> 00:04:04.750 of course, here. No matter if you know her for 00:04:04.750 --> 00:04:07.469 two days or two decades, it doesn't matter. A 00:04:07.469 --> 00:04:10.469 man who ignores this fact are the ones who stop 00:04:10.469 --> 00:04:14.990 making an effort. Keep this in mind. Who settles 00:04:14.990 --> 00:04:16.970 down without making settling down worthwhile 00:04:16.970 --> 00:04:20.269 for the girl they are with? These are the guys 00:04:20.269 --> 00:04:23.209 who ask themselves, why did she leave me? while 00:04:23.209 --> 00:04:25.709 she's holding the hands of another man who's 00:04:25.709 --> 00:04:28.329 under the universal law that seduction never 00:04:28.329 --> 00:04:30.850 ends, okay? And again, like I said, you know, 00:04:30.870 --> 00:04:32.490 I'm using the word seduction here, but basically, 00:04:32.649 --> 00:04:36.290 you know, it's being active with her, being intimate 00:04:36.290 --> 00:04:38.949 with her, even in some cases, you know, basically 00:04:38.949 --> 00:04:42.750 the same way that you used to court her to make 00:04:42.750 --> 00:04:44.610 her feel special out of the world, like she's 00:04:44.610 --> 00:04:47.149 the most beautiful girl you've ever met, you 00:04:47.149 --> 00:04:49.910 know, this process continues even after that 00:04:49.910 --> 00:04:52.100 because she wants to feel wanted. by someone 00:04:52.100 --> 00:05:00.660 and you want that someone to be you okay okay 00:05:00.660 --> 00:05:09.319 so i mean continuing with the last point here 00:05:09.319 --> 00:05:15.279 you know with that being said um guys never assume 00:05:16.120 --> 00:05:18.300 that your feelings and your opinions don't matter, 00:05:18.360 --> 00:05:21.839 okay? They matter to her just as much as, you 00:05:21.839 --> 00:05:24.399 know, hers should matter to you, okay? Don't 00:05:24.399 --> 00:05:27.399 assume she's right, okay? Just because she's 00:05:27.399 --> 00:05:30.319 a woman, that's one thing that does often piss 00:05:30.319 --> 00:05:34.029 off women as well, you know? making sure that 00:05:34.029 --> 00:05:36.269 she's happy and what she her needs are met is 00:05:36.269 --> 00:05:38.649 a good thing but always assuming that she's right 00:05:38.649 --> 00:05:40.589 will make her feel like you're just saying uh 00:05:40.589 --> 00:05:43.870 -huh uh -huh yes uh -huh sure and no woman wants 00:05:43.870 --> 00:05:47.050 to hear that okay men often abdicate their opinions 00:05:47.050 --> 00:05:49.310 and feelings under the false assumption because 00:05:49.310 --> 00:05:51.670 of that that women know how to handle relationships 00:05:51.670 --> 00:05:53.810 better than men no that is not the case a lot 00:05:53.810 --> 00:05:56.149 of times they are looking at to the men to be 00:05:56.149 --> 00:05:59.180 the one who leads the relationship okay your 00:05:59.180 --> 00:06:01.300 thoughts your feelings they do count don't be 00:06:01.300 --> 00:06:03.060 afraid to speak up and share your ideas for resolving 00:06:03.060 --> 00:06:06.259 problems and creating better outcomes but at 00:06:06.259 --> 00:06:08.899 the same time don't be overly overbearing and 00:06:08.899 --> 00:06:11.360 overly pushy about it either okay you need to 00:06:11.360 --> 00:06:14.079 learn to master your partner's emotional uh control 00:06:14.079 --> 00:06:16.360 panel if you will as well each woman has their 00:06:16.360 --> 00:06:19.319 own uh control panel of hot buttons the issues 00:06:19.319 --> 00:06:22.160 that either upset her or calm her down okay there's 00:06:22.160 --> 00:06:24.480 no need to court unnecessary conflict if you 00:06:24.480 --> 00:06:28.689 can avoid it most issues are unavoidable But 00:06:28.689 --> 00:06:32.250 most issues are avoidable while some are not 00:06:32.250 --> 00:06:36.009 okay all you have to do is listen and observe 00:06:36.009 --> 00:06:39.310 and Just so you know, no, they're not crazy. 00:06:39.529 --> 00:06:41.949 Okay, there's a reason for their behavior. Keep 00:06:41.949 --> 00:06:44.089 this in mind, you know They're always telling 00:06:44.089 --> 00:06:46.410 you what they want what they need. It's just 00:06:46.410 --> 00:06:49.189 the way they say it It can be hard to understand. 00:06:49.389 --> 00:06:51.870 Sometimes you need to consider this as well. 00:06:51.970 --> 00:06:54.250 Your job is to hear what what they're saying 00:06:55.470 --> 00:06:57.970 and help them to achieve the loving harmony that 00:06:57.970 --> 00:07:01.670 they want from you without you know making it 00:07:01.670 --> 00:07:04.350 obvious to the world or causing any major issues 00:07:04.350 --> 00:07:07.889 okay and at the same time you know small consistent 00:07:07.889 --> 00:07:10.350 acts of kindness help boost your partner's passion 00:07:10.350 --> 00:07:14.129 and uh attraction to you okay you know showing 00:07:14.129 --> 00:07:15.730 your appreciation for your partner is like putting 00:07:15.730 --> 00:07:18.610 miracle grow on her sexual desires for you i 00:07:18.610 --> 00:07:21.230 mean it's it's amazing how that stuff works especially 00:07:21.230 --> 00:07:23.889 for plants think about that in the same sense 00:07:23.889 --> 00:07:25.810 as the way you're treating her okay like i mentioned 00:07:25.810 --> 00:07:28.050 before she wants to know that she's special she 00:07:28.050 --> 00:07:33.129 wants to uh she wants for you ah let me try that 00:07:33.129 --> 00:07:39.430 again She wants to know that she has value to 00:07:39.430 --> 00:07:43.009 her, okay? At the same time, she wants to make 00:07:43.009 --> 00:07:46.110 sure that while she values you, you value her 00:07:46.110 --> 00:07:48.470 as well, okay? You know, thoughtful words and 00:07:48.470 --> 00:07:50.509 meaningful actions throughout the day will warm 00:07:50.509 --> 00:07:53.670 your woman's heart like you have no idea. Like 00:07:53.670 --> 00:07:55.410 that moment when you take a fresh cake out of 00:07:55.410 --> 00:07:56.910 the oven, you ice it, and you sit down with a 00:07:56.910 --> 00:07:58.790 slice of it, you're ready to eat it with a cup 00:07:58.790 --> 00:08:02.110 of milk, okay? It's the recipe for creating fireworks 00:08:02.110 --> 00:08:06.089 in the middle of... at night okay it helps out 00:08:06.089 --> 00:08:10.310 everybody and both sides usually win okay and 00:08:10.310 --> 00:08:14.829 at the same time and we go ahead and throw this 00:08:14.829 --> 00:08:21.449 in here as well in this piece men often accept 00:08:21.449 --> 00:08:25.310 that relationships are scary and heck they are 00:08:25.310 --> 00:08:28.910 scary for a good sum of people but not everyone 00:08:28.910 --> 00:08:34.740 okay you know but you need to not let that you 00:08:34.740 --> 00:08:37.360 know put you off and giving them your all okay 00:08:37.360 --> 00:08:39.379 you know putting your trust in someone it leaves 00:08:39.379 --> 00:08:41.399 you open to all kinds of hurt and while this 00:08:41.399 --> 00:08:43.679 is true you know no one wants to feel vulnerable 00:08:43.679 --> 00:08:45.779 like that and it's definitely easier just to 00:08:45.779 --> 00:08:48.200 build a wall around your heart and not let anyone 00:08:48.200 --> 00:08:51.779 in but um in too deep to save yourself from getting 00:08:51.779 --> 00:08:54.159 hurt but at the end you know you're you're just 00:08:54.159 --> 00:08:56.039 hurting yourself more so than the other person 00:08:56.039 --> 00:08:57.580 because you're stopping yourself from experiencing 00:08:57.580 --> 00:09:00.539 life at its best you need to embrace the fear 00:09:00.539 --> 00:09:02.639 and don't run from it and enjoy the riot who 00:09:02.639 --> 00:09:05.840 knows everything may work out for the best but 00:09:05.840 --> 00:09:07.639 you only know if you're willing to take that 00:09:07.639 --> 00:09:11.299 risk and most men you know out there aren't going 00:09:11.299 --> 00:09:13.440 to do that you know by the time it's time to 00:09:13.440 --> 00:09:15.120 come around for marriage and they manage to get 00:09:15.120 --> 00:09:20.179 the question out and you're now uh loving partners 00:09:20.179 --> 00:09:22.100 who are about to get married i forget at the 00:09:22.100 --> 00:09:26.240 moment i can't think of the word uh engaged there 00:09:26.240 --> 00:09:30.139 it is you know they chicken out like close to 00:09:30.139 --> 00:09:32.620 the end and say i'm sorry i i don't think i can 00:09:32.620 --> 00:09:34.419 do this you know and that leaves the woman hurt 00:09:34.419 --> 00:09:37.700 or scarred severely okay you don't want to do 00:09:37.700 --> 00:09:45.120 that okay one of the last things i want to cover 00:09:45.120 --> 00:09:48.200 tonight and i want to make this known right now 00:09:48.539 --> 00:09:52.039 for men is two things becoming too comfortable 00:09:52.039 --> 00:09:55.940 in a relationship and not being the alpha male 00:09:55.940 --> 00:09:59.419 okay one of the main issues that you'll have 00:09:59.419 --> 00:10:02.620 with a woman is you'll be you'll you'll not be 00:10:02.620 --> 00:10:05.320 an alpha alpha male okay the majority of men 00:10:05.320 --> 00:10:07.759 whether they're younger or older rich or not 00:10:07.759 --> 00:10:10.220 rich you know they generally prefer an alpha 00:10:10.220 --> 00:10:13.419 male okay this is how you are wired This is why 00:10:13.419 --> 00:10:15.620 you often hear women say, I want a real man or 00:10:15.620 --> 00:10:18.440 be a man. However, most people think an alpha 00:10:18.440 --> 00:10:21.580 male is synonymous with being a jerk, and that's 00:10:21.580 --> 00:10:24.519 not the case. Actually, being alpha means breaking 00:10:24.519 --> 00:10:26.580 through barriers, being fearless, taking control 00:10:26.580 --> 00:10:29.200 of situations, not of women. Keep that in mind, 00:10:29.240 --> 00:10:31.659 not of women. Having a plan and being focused. 00:10:31.820 --> 00:10:34.360 This means you contact a woman and ask her out. 00:10:34.830 --> 00:10:37.669 Pick her up if she agrees. Don't ask her to meet 00:10:37.669 --> 00:10:40.269 you halfway. Choose the restaurant pay. Do not 00:10:40.269 --> 00:10:43.970 ask to split the bill. Also, hail a cab if you 00:10:43.970 --> 00:10:46.590 need to. Speak up if someone is bothering her. 00:10:49.470 --> 00:10:52.909 Set boundaries. Call her out if she's being disrespectful. 00:10:53.769 --> 00:10:57.509 When a woman loses interest or isn't interested 00:10:57.509 --> 00:10:59.850 to begin with, it's probably because you're behaving 00:10:59.850 --> 00:11:03.320 more like a beta instead of an alpha male. um 00:11:03.320 --> 00:11:04.940 and that's one of the things you need to keep 00:11:04.940 --> 00:11:08.720 in mind at the same time you know guys can get 00:11:08.720 --> 00:11:10.980 way too comfortable in a relationship and they'll 00:11:10.980 --> 00:11:13.120 forget about all the little stuff that made her 00:11:13.120 --> 00:11:14.840 fall in love with him in the first place you 00:11:14.840 --> 00:11:17.759 know in most happy successful relationships it's 00:11:17.759 --> 00:11:20.159 a string of small expressions of kindness respect 00:11:20.159 --> 00:11:23.120 and romance that often matter the most and like 00:11:23.120 --> 00:11:25.360 i mentioned before you know that this is the 00:11:25.360 --> 00:11:27.340 thoughtful gestures that make her feel valued 00:11:27.340 --> 00:11:29.720 and loved you know such like i said you know 00:11:30.080 --> 00:11:32.779 Such as things like holding her hand, kissing 00:11:32.779 --> 00:11:35.779 her hello, saying I love you, pulling her in 00:11:35.779 --> 00:11:38.960 for a cuddle, complimenting her when she's made 00:11:38.960 --> 00:11:42.940 an effort to look good or been extra friendly 00:11:42.940 --> 00:11:48.200 to your terrible aunts that get on your nerves, 00:11:48.299 --> 00:11:51.899 what have you. Or answering her questions, really 00:11:51.899 --> 00:11:54.799 listening to her, remembering small details about 00:11:54.799 --> 00:11:57.480 what she likes, saying thank you, of course. 00:11:58.440 --> 00:12:00.519 or you know just surprising her with a little 00:12:00.519 --> 00:12:02.659 something special just because you know it's 00:12:02.659 --> 00:12:07.360 things like this that guys often forget and you 00:12:07.360 --> 00:12:11.600 know it causes division you know you need to 00:12:11.600 --> 00:12:16.000 be brave be you and be loved that's some of the 00:12:16.000 --> 00:12:22.139 main focus focal points for guys you know peace 00:12:22.909 --> 00:12:24.990 Make peace with your fears and insecurities to 00:12:24.990 --> 00:12:28.450 help diminish their power. When you learn how 00:12:28.450 --> 00:12:29.970 to manage your fear, you can become confident 00:12:29.970 --> 00:12:32.049 in dating and relationships. To overcome fear 00:12:32.049 --> 00:12:34.250 and empower yourself in knowledge, become a student 00:12:34.250 --> 00:12:36.389 of relationships instead of being the victim 00:12:36.389 --> 00:12:39.990 of them. Study, love, read, listen, watch, listen. 00:12:40.750 --> 00:12:43.129 Find every way you can to learn about how men 00:12:43.129 --> 00:12:44.809 and women should work together so that you can 00:12:44.809 --> 00:12:47.429 become both a student and a master at the same 00:12:47.429 --> 00:12:50.840 time. While that being said, when fear loses 00:12:50.840 --> 00:12:53.259 its power, you'll become unafraid to be yourself. 00:12:53.639 --> 00:12:56.440 And you'll learn to show up, to be a witness, 00:12:56.720 --> 00:12:59.039 to be real in your relationships because there 00:12:59.039 --> 00:13:00.919 is nothing to lose and nothing to be rejected. 00:13:01.600 --> 00:13:03.980 Rejection takes on a new meaning and it's no 00:13:03.980 --> 00:13:06.559 longer because there is something inherently 00:13:06.559 --> 00:13:09.500 wrong, broken, or inadequate within you. There's 00:13:09.500 --> 00:13:12.720 a great power in adequacy. Authenticity, I'm 00:13:12.720 --> 00:13:16.379 sorry. once you know how to master fear and allow 00:13:16.379 --> 00:13:19.440 yourself to be authentic your chances of finding 00:13:19.440 --> 00:13:22.399 love increase exponentially and at the same time 00:13:22.399 --> 00:13:24.580 it helps increase your relationship status with 00:13:24.580 --> 00:13:26.500 the person you're with okay the walls that stand 00:13:26.500 --> 00:13:29.360 between you and a successful relationship will 00:13:29.360 --> 00:13:31.899 be completely destroyed and you can find freedom 00:13:31.899 --> 00:13:34.039 that only love can provide and these are things 00:13:34.039 --> 00:13:36.899 like i mentioned before that guys need to focus 00:13:36.899 --> 00:13:41.200 on a lot especially you know uh let's see here 00:13:42.490 --> 00:13:47.610 That is, I do believe, all I have to say for 00:13:47.610 --> 00:13:51.610 tonight. Next, I have some information as far 00:13:51.610 --> 00:13:56.409 as dating is concerned. I might bring that up 00:13:56.409 --> 00:13:57.990 tonight or I might talk about it a little bit 00:13:57.990 --> 00:14:00.929 later. We'll see what happens. Anyway, enjoy 00:14:00.929 --> 00:14:03.350 the rest of your morning. Everybody get some 00:14:03.350 --> 00:14:05.129 sleep if you're up and you're getting ready to 00:14:05.129 --> 00:14:06.750 go to bed. And as for those who's getting up 00:14:06.750 --> 00:14:08.889 and now getting ready to go to work, I wish you 00:14:08.889 --> 00:14:12.100 the best and be blessed, okay? I know I'm not 00:14:12.100 --> 00:14:15.399 always making my podcast at the most convenient 00:14:15.399 --> 00:14:17.539 times, but I still thank everybody for listening. 00:14:17.700 --> 00:14:19.620 And like I said, if you have any comments, concerns, 00:14:19.860 --> 00:14:21.440 or I said something that upset you, what have 00:14:21.440 --> 00:14:23.200 you, you know, I want to hear that. Go ahead 00:14:23.200 --> 00:14:25.399 and hit the calling button and let me know what's 00:14:25.399 --> 00:14:27.720 going on. And we'll go ahead and resolve that 00:14:27.720 --> 00:14:31.320 as well. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.