WEBVTT

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Yo, yo, yo, what's up, what's up? This is Neogentrix

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with Food for Thought, Thoughts If It Were You

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Relationships. I did say I was going to get started

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on the women's side, and here we are. There are

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a couple of tips that I have for the women for

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their side of the relationship, and yes, while

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I do, do really, really... focus on the guys

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more so than the women's side. Women need to

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remember that it's not always all about them.

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Relationships take two people for it to work.

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So if you're expecting the guy to do all the

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work, keep in mind that, you know, unless you

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put in some effort, it's not going to do anything.

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It's not going to move forward. It's not going

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to have any leeway whatsoever. Okay. Just so

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you know, love isn't complicated or painful.

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Okay. In fact, it's effortless. As long as you

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keep Keep in mind some of these tips that I'm

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gonna run through in the next couple of days

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or hours however long it takes me to go ahead

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and complete this podcast for this second half

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and Then finalize it with some tips for both

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sides together as a whole You know Your relationship

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should be sound as I mentioned before in the

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previous set on the guy's side There are a lot

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of stuff that guys have to keep in mind, you

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know, in order to keep the relationship stable.

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And while, yes, it does seem like it's a lot

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of stuff, and while much of it is corny for the

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fact that guys have to do this, for the most

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part, just keep in mind that, you know, you don't

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make it easy on us, and we try our best, okay?

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So, things to keep in mind, you know. Like, things

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that I hear a lot, you know. Women having a hard

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time in love they find themselves getting frustrated

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with their man to no end for no reason You know

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they get worried about the man is he into you

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the way he once was things like that No most

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women in general want a perfect romance they

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want a perfect man yet somehow most men and women

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just don't seem happy when they come together

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to create that kind of romance you know basically

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it starts off perfectly just like they say it

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would in fairy tales but it you know it's all

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bliss and romance for about a year or two and

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then things basically start to change you know

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that perfect romance you once found just vanishes

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into thin air right before your eyes you know

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most people have experienced this most often

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than not you know but the thing is When it starts

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to fade it's never too late to try to fix that

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issue and bring the love and happiness back into

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your life the only downside is You know you have

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to actually get up off your butt and do it you

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know if you're committed to your relationship

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You know continue listening on into this these

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segments coming up soon in the next couple of

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days or so and Try to see where you're going

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wrong as far as the female side is concerned.

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Obviously, I already covered the guy's side.

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And for those who actually listen, they're going

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to do their best to fix it. So anyway, we're

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going to move on into these topics. To start

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off with, I'm going to go ahead and say I have

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23 major tips. And then I have a couple of others

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to follow up after. But let me go ahead and hit

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this point on the head after a short interlude.

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And then we're going to go ahead and cover the

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first three. tonight and then we'll move on to

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the next uh few later all right all right and

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i'm back just so you guys know it is 2 37 a .m

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where i'm at and the temperature is 16 degrees

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all right And no, I'm not in Houston, unfortunately.

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Anyway, many women tell me this a lot, okay?

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They say that they try hard, but they just can't

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make relationships work, okay? A few others say

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that they have no idea when the relationship

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started to go bad. But in reality, you know,

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we all know what we need to do to fix the relationship

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all the time. The problem is we procrastinate.

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Y 'all assume the effort is just not worth the

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hassle or, you know... we're too egotistical

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to bend over you know so if you really really

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want your relationship to work out just keep

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one piece of advice in mind you know trust your

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instincts for the most part but not completely

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okay um it's as simple as that i mean if you

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feel something's not right in all probability

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something is definitely wrong but communication

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and making an effort are key in keeping your

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relationship sound and you know Because not all

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the times is the relationship caused because

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of your man as him being a bad guy and such.

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Okay, but at the same time Most often than not

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relationships just become stagnant and you and

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your lover just basically have started to you

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know Take the relationship for granted like y

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'all expect each other to be there and it goes

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from being a two -person relationship into a

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standard friendship, okay Anyway If you're looking

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for relationship advice as far as this is going,

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like I said before, I do have 23 tips that you

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could possibly try. Remember, the whole focus

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of this station and podcast is to give you something

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to think about, stuff to consider that could

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possibly help improve your relationships, okay?

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It'll help you experience better relationships

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and have a better love life as well, okay? First

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things first. let me just start off with this

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the number one thing uh the first thing in my

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list here is play with him okay playfulness is

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one thing that holds a happy relationship together

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more than anything else okay just because you're

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past your childhood doesn't mean you should act

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all grown up all the time okay i'm gonna go ahead

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and be honest with you no no guy wants a woman

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who's so grown up that she doesn't know how to

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have fun anymore okay it bores us it irritates

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us and it just basically turns us off okay i'll

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just go ahead and say that right now second men

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are easily influenced by other men around them

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in their life okay so if his friends and other

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guys in his room think you're a dream catch he'll

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fall more in love and stay more in love with

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you rather than avoid straying away from you

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just keep this in mind okay that's the second

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thing third not all men understand art of chivalry

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okay so You can't expect them to do this completely,

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okay? Romantic gestures and romance, instead

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of giving up on him, you need to show him the

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way by example. He'll learn to treat you with

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respect if you do this. Don't assume every guy

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knows how to do this. And at the same time, if

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a guy does act this way, don't assume by default

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it's too good to be true. Consider how he was

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raised, if he mentions it or if he even talks

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about it, or ask him, okay? Don't just... you

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know assume that he's after something just because

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he's acting in this manner okay the fourth point

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is you know at least put in an effort to listen

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to his point of view you know before arguing

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back or cutting across him or you know cutting

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him out of your life all together okay it's the

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easiest way to prevent tempers from rising and

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you know don't be condescending either okay always

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consider his feelings too not just your own remember

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a relationship requires two people to work together

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it is not all about you all right You know, I

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know this may sound bad coming from another guy

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giving women advice as far as relationships are

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concerned, but having had a decent relationship

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last from about four and a half years up until

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the point when my girlfriend's dad died and everything

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pretty much went to emotional hell with her.

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You know. these are things to keep in mind and

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then i have to teach her in the same way in regard

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so that she was able to understand me better

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and at the same time she taught me stuff about

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her to help me understand her better which enabled

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our relationship to move forward with no issues

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okay okay moving on to the next topic number

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five women please keep this in mind okay you

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can't change someone who doesn't want to be changed

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all right help your man understand you better

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and help him learn by example okay but if he

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doesn't want to change for you perhaps he doesn't

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want doesn't respect you or care enough for you

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and you need someone else who can love you for

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who you are keep this in mind you know don't

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don't change yourself for the sake of someone

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else who doesn't care for you, okay? If he can't,

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in a manner of speaking, like I told them before

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in my previous set, man up and, you know, change

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for the sake of their woman and care for them

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the way they want to be cared for, you know,

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then that person shouldn't be with you in the

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first place at all. But at the same time... You

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women also need to help a guy understand you

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better so that he knows why you want him to do

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certain things a certain way rather than forcing

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him to do it, okay? Six, don't constantly remind

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him of his past failures, okay? Unlike women

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who can usually move on past some of these things

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but yet still hold a grudge on smaller things,

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men are actually very sensitive when it comes

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to past mistakes, okay? He'll clam up like a

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shell if you use his past failures to get him

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to accept defeat or listen to you. And this is

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not something you want. You want him to listen

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to you, hear what you have to say, and then make

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the change and not do it again. You don't want

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to push him further away from you than you already

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have if this entire instance was caused by a

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fight or a simple dispute over something simple.

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In regards to just him talking to another person

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or you see him talking to the waitress across

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the hall. Don't use this as a bargaining chip

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just to get him to do what you want him to do.

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Okay? You want your relationship to be sound

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and have trust between you and him. And this

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is one way to completely destroy that. Seven.

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Don't blame yourself. Okay? You're never entirely...

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It's never entirely... How do I put it? You're

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never entirely at fault. if the relationship

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starts to suffer. So don't blame yourself completely.

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If you're experiencing a bad relationship, accept

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responsibility, but never, never blame yourself

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unless it really is your fault. Unless you're

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the reason why the relationship is failing, this

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topic, this thought should never even cross your

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mind in the first place. Anyway, so for the sake

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of the rest of the pieces I'm going to cover

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today, I'm gonna cover the rest of the 23 tips

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like I said in the next couple of days maybe

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in a couple of hours, but I'm gonna go back up

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to the Previous topics in the next piece, and

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I'm gonna cover those however. I have one more

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tip for you today, okay? Hey Keep this in mind

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Men can't read minds as convinced as you are

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that men should have the innate ability to read

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a woman's mind They can't. They really just can't,

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okay? You need to speak your mind, and he will

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listen to your thoughts. If you don't tell us

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what you want us to do, don't tell us what's

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on your mind, even if it's something as simple

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as, you know, him moving the sugar to the other

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side of the counter, even though you want it

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next to the fridge. Unless you tell us that that

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bothers you, you know, or him just posting one

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of his friend's pictures on his Facebook on his

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wall just because he likes something specific

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about her, like her hair or whatever. unless

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you tell us that something is wrong we're not

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gonna know and we're gonna be like well it's

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just it's a no it ain't no thing it's just something

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simple when in reality it's just something that

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bothers the heck out of you okay tell us what's

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wrong because unless you tell us we can't fix

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the issue all right anyway like i said before

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I'm going to cover the rest of the 23 topics

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in the next couple of podcasts. But in the next

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piece, we're going to go back over a couple of

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the ones I just mentioned just to ensure that

00:12:25.070 --> 00:12:35.289
you understand what I'm talking about. Okay,

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going back to the previous topic. Wanting your

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boyfriend to treat you like a lady without you

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having to tell him to do things all the time,

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okay? are simple steps to change your playboy

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into a chivalrous uh chivalry knight but at the

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same time you know again like i said before you

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can't force him to do it okay you want him to

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treat you the way you want to be treated you

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know but keep in mind that you know guys we as

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logical as we are as great as we can be you know

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we're no super geniuses we can't read minds you

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know simple things are easier easy for us to

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forget especially if we work all day okay so

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just simple things and you have you know just

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minuscule lightly mentioning these things you

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know as like nonchalantly as you can to get him

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in the habit of doing these you know one of the

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main things is getting him to open the car door

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okay you know next time you both go out you know

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and he parks the car and is about to step out

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you know place your handbag on your lap and you

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know start to go though uh through it as as you

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continue to sit in the car you know pull out

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your lip gloss check your face do something pretend

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to be completely engrossed checking your face

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you know he'll probably get tired of waiting

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for you to come out and he'll just walk over

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to your side open your door for you okay now

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while this does seem a bit mean at the same time

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for some guys this is the only way to get them

00:14:04.240 --> 00:14:08.279
to do that you know At the same, you know regardless,

00:14:08.440 --> 00:14:09.940
you know, this is when you flash your cutest

00:14:09.940 --> 00:14:12.799
smile and say oh that is so sweet of you, you

00:14:12.799 --> 00:14:15.980
know, or it's it's just so sweet of you to do

00:14:15.980 --> 00:14:19.779
that, you know and Thank you, you know, he'll

00:14:19.779 --> 00:14:22.000
get the hit, you know that you enjoy this type

00:14:22.000 --> 00:14:24.639
of thing, you know He'll do it more often or

00:14:24.639 --> 00:14:27.000
at least whenever possible, you know, if he still

00:14:27.000 --> 00:14:29.120
doesn't get it You know, you still have your

00:14:29.120 --> 00:14:31.840
handbag to do it all over again, you know if

00:14:32.420 --> 00:14:34.519
Repeating it is what it takes to get the guy

00:14:34.519 --> 00:14:37.299
to understand, you know, I'd recommend doing

00:14:37.299 --> 00:14:40.980
it. You know, getting him to open doors at restaurants

00:14:40.980 --> 00:14:42.860
is another good way to move forward. You know,

00:14:42.860 --> 00:14:44.759
after a good meal at a restaurant, as you walk

00:14:44.759 --> 00:14:46.840
towards the door, you know, take his arm and

00:14:46.840 --> 00:14:49.139
yours and hold hands as you lean towards him.

00:14:49.220 --> 00:14:51.460
You know, as you get near the door, you know,

00:14:51.460 --> 00:14:54.019
slow your pace just a little bit and allow him

00:14:54.019 --> 00:14:56.389
to get the door first, you know. it's obvious

00:14:56.389 --> 00:14:58.750
he'll push the door open you know this is when

00:14:58.750 --> 00:15:00.730
you fasten up just a bit and walk through the

00:15:00.730 --> 00:15:03.889
door first even if it doesn't come naturally

00:15:03.889 --> 00:15:06.529
to him to allow you to walk through first when

00:15:06.529 --> 00:15:09.830
you step out catch a glance at him and just smile

00:15:09.830 --> 00:15:12.169
and look away but hold that smile on your face

00:15:12.169 --> 00:15:14.289
he'll be very curious to know what you're smiling

00:15:14.289 --> 00:15:16.610
about you know and when you tell him how sweet

00:15:16.610 --> 00:15:18.629
he was to open the door for you that moment will

00:15:18.629 --> 00:15:20.789
become something he'll he's going to remember

00:15:20.789 --> 00:15:22.970
for eternity because he knows it made you happy

00:15:22.970 --> 00:15:26.620
okay things like that you know next would be

00:15:26.620 --> 00:15:28.879
considered you know buying him buying you flowers

00:15:28.879 --> 00:15:33.940
okay while this may seem cliche in the sense

00:15:33.940 --> 00:15:36.500
you know again it's not something bad but it

00:15:36.500 --> 00:15:39.919
also helps train your guy to treat you with more

00:15:39.919 --> 00:15:43.259
respect like i mentioned before you know it's

00:15:43.259 --> 00:15:45.360
not hard to let your guy know that you love flowers

00:15:45.360 --> 00:15:48.690
he probably already knows this but He might have

00:15:48.690 --> 00:15:51.169
just forgotten that special gestures of getting

00:15:51.169 --> 00:15:53.750
your flowers over the months or years or time

00:15:53.750 --> 00:15:56.990
in general, you know, makes the world to you,

00:15:57.049 --> 00:15:59.549
you know. So next time you, just throwing this

00:15:59.549 --> 00:16:01.330
out there, the next time you pass a florist,

00:16:01.350 --> 00:16:03.730
take time to smell the flowers. Stop by the flower

00:16:03.730 --> 00:16:07.470
shop. Tell them how beautiful it looks. You know,

00:16:07.549 --> 00:16:10.490
most guys will definitely pick them up for you.

00:16:10.529 --> 00:16:12.700
You know, you could... brush his cheek with your

00:16:12.700 --> 00:16:15.399
hand or give him a kiss or something to let him

00:16:15.399 --> 00:16:17.879
know how nice and special you feel for him doing

00:16:17.879 --> 00:16:20.000
this don't be surprised when your guy knocks

00:16:20.000 --> 00:16:22.000
on your door the following week with a beautiful

00:16:22.000 --> 00:16:26.259
posse of flowers now granted again not all guys

00:16:26.259 --> 00:16:28.799
will do this some will take some time to train

00:16:28.799 --> 00:16:31.159
them to understand this but at the same time

00:16:31.159 --> 00:16:33.519
you know simple gestures like this by letting

00:16:33.519 --> 00:16:37.039
us know that they work can help out a lot okay

00:16:37.039 --> 00:16:40.299
moving on to the next bit