WEBVTT

00:00:07.919 --> 00:00:10.560
One more thing tonight before I move on and yes,

00:00:10.640 --> 00:00:13.339
the current time is 319 a .m Sure, we covered

00:00:13.339 --> 00:00:15.880
a lot of information in the last I guess you

00:00:15.880 --> 00:00:19.800
could say hour or so, but I Want to cover one

00:00:19.800 --> 00:00:23.660
last thing the 8020 rule, okay in relationships

00:00:23.660 --> 00:00:26.039
It can seem confusing at first but understand

00:00:26.039 --> 00:00:28.000
this concept can help you change your relationship

00:00:28.000 --> 00:00:30.500
for the better Okay, you know life isn't perfect

00:00:30.500 --> 00:00:33.039
and it wasn't meant to be sometimes It's the

00:00:33.039 --> 00:00:34.780
little burdens and difficulties in life that

00:00:34.780 --> 00:00:36.859
makes it all worthwhile and meaningful. Okay

00:00:37.340 --> 00:00:39.200
But then again, it's those very issues that can

00:00:39.200 --> 00:00:41.500
make life and romance miserable too. Keep that

00:00:41.500 --> 00:00:44.679
in mind. What if you could find a way to steamroll

00:00:44.679 --> 00:00:46.600
all the problems in your relationship away with

00:00:46.600 --> 00:00:48.759
the slightest effort? Okay, that would be great.

00:00:48.859 --> 00:00:51.340
Everyone would love that. Well... This is where

00:00:51.340 --> 00:00:53.780
the 80 -20 rule in relationships comes into effect,

00:00:53.960 --> 00:00:55.600
okay? When you're in a relationship with someone

00:00:55.600 --> 00:00:57.259
you love, there may be a few things that you

00:00:57.259 --> 00:00:59.539
don't like about them, okay? After all, none

00:00:59.539 --> 00:01:01.579
of us are perfectly compatible with each other

00:01:01.579 --> 00:01:04.959
all the time. You know, at the start of a relationship,

00:01:05.079 --> 00:01:07.439
when you both are still learning about each other,

00:01:07.480 --> 00:01:10.299
the relationship can seem perfect, okay? And

00:01:10.299 --> 00:01:13.299
it's great. you know but over time you know little

00:01:13.299 --> 00:01:15.799
differences start to crop up and it could be

00:01:15.799 --> 00:01:17.780
as mundane as the type of movies either if you

00:01:17.780 --> 00:01:21.400
like or all the way all the way to what you know

00:01:21.400 --> 00:01:23.079
either of you like doing over the weekend or

00:01:23.079 --> 00:01:25.299
on vacation and you know and as time passes by

00:01:25.299 --> 00:01:27.879
you can start to see that the little differences

00:01:27.879 --> 00:01:29.980
can lead to more differences and then eventually

00:01:29.980 --> 00:01:31.739
both you realize that you're completely different

00:01:31.739 --> 00:01:34.500
people with different wants and likes in life

00:01:34.500 --> 00:01:37.989
okay you know what do you do then you know really

00:01:37.989 --> 00:01:39.989
both of you seem perfect for each other at the

00:01:39.989 --> 00:01:42.209
start and all of a sudden you seem to have completely

00:01:42.209 --> 00:01:46.209
different entrances okay um it happens to everyone

00:01:46.209 --> 00:01:48.769
just know this but for the best part it's these

00:01:48.769 --> 00:01:51.250
very differences that are completely repairable

00:01:51.250 --> 00:01:57.489
you know and it makes it better okay um basically

00:01:57.489 --> 00:02:01.950
um how do i explain this the 80 20 rule is basically

00:02:01.950 --> 00:02:05.049
this about a century ago an italian uh economist

00:02:05.049 --> 00:02:10.270
uh vilfredo frederick pareto and yes that's how

00:02:10.270 --> 00:02:12.650
his name is pronounced noticed a few things from

00:02:12.650 --> 00:02:15.490
his backyard he saw that 80 of the land in italy

00:02:15.490 --> 00:02:18.789
was owned by 20 of the people in italy and he

00:02:18.789 --> 00:02:21.729
observed the that 80 of the peas from his garden

00:02:21.729 --> 00:02:25.349
were contained in just 20 of the pea pods growing

00:02:25.349 --> 00:02:28.009
in his garden With those figures as references

00:02:28.009 --> 00:02:30.750
and other observations, he developed a principle

00:02:30.750 --> 00:02:33.909
which later came to be known as the Pareto Principle

00:02:33.909 --> 00:02:36.370
or as we know it nowadays as the 80 -20 rule.

00:02:37.330 --> 00:02:40.210
The 80 -20 rule may seem like a perfect economical

00:02:40.210 --> 00:02:44.699
model as far as... economists are concerned,

00:02:44.960 --> 00:02:47.539
but it also fits snugly into issues in a relationship

00:02:47.539 --> 00:02:50.460
as well. The easiest way to interpret it with

00:02:50.460 --> 00:02:54.159
respect to love and relationships is that 80

00:02:54.159 --> 00:02:57.039
% of the frustrations in a relationship are caused

00:02:57.039 --> 00:03:01.199
by just 20 % of the problems. By taking a look

00:03:01.199 --> 00:03:03.360
into your own relationships and love lives, we

00:03:03.360 --> 00:03:05.900
can see that most of the big frustrations and

00:03:05.900 --> 00:03:07.840
annoyances are caused because of a couple of

00:03:07.840 --> 00:03:10.080
reasons, even if you haven't realized it yet.

00:03:10.860 --> 00:03:13.080
Irritations like clothes lying around the room,

00:03:13.539 --> 00:03:16.919
taking ages to get dressed, or spending too much

00:03:16.919 --> 00:03:20.060
time with friends over the phone, or maybe having

00:03:20.060 --> 00:03:22.979
made too many numbers on your phone. But they're

00:03:22.979 --> 00:03:25.039
all little annoyances that get magnified because

00:03:25.039 --> 00:03:26.879
you're already upset with your partner for some

00:03:26.879 --> 00:03:30.379
other bigger reason. The world works on a set

00:03:30.379 --> 00:03:33.159
of global principles, and what works in one area

00:03:33.159 --> 00:03:35.699
of life can also work in another area of your

00:03:35.699 --> 00:03:40.379
life, too. Understanding love through the 80

00:03:40.379 --> 00:03:43.319
-20 rule isn't very hard. You may feel like your

00:03:43.319 --> 00:03:45.240
whole relationship is falling apart or that both

00:03:45.240 --> 00:03:47.020
of you have drifted away from each other over

00:03:47.020 --> 00:03:49.259
time, but all you need to do is focus on the

00:03:49.259 --> 00:03:52.360
few deeper -rooted issues to sort out all the

00:03:52.360 --> 00:03:54.419
problems in your relationship, and this will

00:03:54.419 --> 00:03:57.620
resolve itself. Basically, to use the 80 -20

00:03:57.620 --> 00:03:59.479
rule in relationships in your own life, the first

00:03:59.479 --> 00:04:01.740
thing you both need to do is to stop worrying

00:04:01.740 --> 00:04:03.819
about the 80 % of the things that bother either

00:04:03.819 --> 00:04:07.879
of you about your relationship. All of us spend

00:04:07.879 --> 00:04:09.819
so much time getting annoyed by the little stuff

00:04:09.819 --> 00:04:12.099
that bother us that we lose the big picture and

00:04:12.099 --> 00:04:14.840
that really creates all the problems. Why is

00:04:14.840 --> 00:04:17.019
your relationship changing is the better question

00:04:17.019 --> 00:04:19.839
to ask instead of why does he or she behave this

00:04:19.839 --> 00:04:22.810
way. Just keep this in mind. I'm going to give

00:04:22.810 --> 00:04:24.870
you a few examples in this next bit, and then

00:04:24.870 --> 00:04:26.350
I'm going to let everybody go for the rest of

00:04:26.350 --> 00:04:29.149
this night. And unless you're listening to this

00:04:29.149 --> 00:04:31.670
on the podcast, you know, again, this is going

00:04:31.670 --> 00:04:33.990
to be another episode. This is a two -part, so

00:04:33.990 --> 00:04:36.430
please listen on for the next piece after this

00:04:36.430 --> 00:04:49.399
short interlude. Okay, here are a few examples

00:04:49.399 --> 00:04:52.060
of minor annoyances you could think about. Now,

00:04:52.060 --> 00:04:54.600
these many annoyances may seem like a big deal,

00:04:54.660 --> 00:04:57.600
and sometimes that's worthy of getting frustrated,

00:04:57.699 --> 00:05:01.019
but just keep this in mind. It's not a good thing

00:05:01.019 --> 00:05:05.040
to get annoyed by for the sake of your relationship,

00:05:05.300 --> 00:05:08.639
okay? First one is your partner comes home late

00:05:08.639 --> 00:05:11.850
from work. Your partner doesn't like going out

00:05:11.850 --> 00:05:14.189
after they get back home. That one's not too

00:05:14.189 --> 00:05:16.230
common, as most often than not, they're extremely

00:05:16.230 --> 00:05:20.029
tired. Your lover isn't romantic anymore. There

00:05:20.029 --> 00:05:22.970
are ways to fix this, but still, this is not

00:05:22.970 --> 00:05:25.310
necessarily a reason to get completely annoyed.

00:05:25.569 --> 00:05:27.550
Your partner spends all their time by themselves

00:05:27.550 --> 00:05:30.430
playing games or watching TV, or your partner

00:05:30.430 --> 00:05:33.470
falls asleep as soon as they get to bed. But

00:05:33.470 --> 00:05:37.769
don't they all stem from the same root cause?

00:05:37.930 --> 00:05:40.680
You feel neglected. Those are just a couple examples.

00:05:41.100 --> 00:05:44.699
While there may be innumerable frustrations in

00:05:44.699 --> 00:05:47.019
your love life, the real reason behind why they

00:05:47.019 --> 00:05:52.120
all crop up may be only a handful. What should

00:05:52.120 --> 00:05:53.720
you do to make your relationship better? That's

00:05:53.720 --> 00:05:55.839
the question a lot of people should ask. All

00:05:55.839 --> 00:05:58.300
relationships experience rough patches or confusions

00:05:58.300 --> 00:06:00.500
now and then, but they can all be fixed by realizing

00:06:00.500 --> 00:06:06.160
the most important factor. There's always a root

00:06:06.160 --> 00:06:09.860
cause for the bigger problems. address the 20

00:06:09.860 --> 00:06:13.279
% of the issues that cause the 80 % of the frustrations

00:06:13.279 --> 00:06:15.000
in the relationship and you'll be able to sort

00:06:15.000 --> 00:06:18.060
out more noticeable problems along the way. And

00:06:18.060 --> 00:06:19.740
in a perfect relationship, you know, lovers don't

00:06:19.740 --> 00:06:21.800
focus on cleaning the surface. They get to the

00:06:21.800 --> 00:06:25.439
bottom of the problem even if it's messier. Alright?

00:06:25.600 --> 00:06:27.500
Always get to the root cause and you'll experience

00:06:27.500 --> 00:06:29.500
a better relationship and a happier life just

00:06:29.500 --> 00:06:33.139
by following a principle of economy in your love

00:06:33.139 --> 00:06:35.639
life. Yes. And it's called the 80 -20 rule of

00:06:35.639 --> 00:06:38.480
relationships. Okay? Now, while a lot of people

00:06:38.480 --> 00:06:40.180
do talk about a lot of different things in a

00:06:40.180 --> 00:06:43.019
lot of these, I guess the best way to put it

00:06:43.019 --> 00:06:45.579
is relationship guides and such, very few of

00:06:45.579 --> 00:06:47.620
them bring up the 80 -20 rule, and this is why

00:06:47.620 --> 00:06:50.459
I'm bringing it up now. While I am going to school

00:06:50.459 --> 00:06:51.959
for something completely different from what

00:06:51.959 --> 00:06:53.980
I'm talking to you about, it's one of the things

00:06:53.980 --> 00:06:56.439
I have to learn about regardless, okay? But just

00:06:56.439 --> 00:06:59.300
a word caution though, okay? Focusing on the

00:06:59.300 --> 00:07:02.420
20 % of problems can't clear the most important

00:07:02.420 --> 00:07:06.240
issues in a relationship, but... Sometimes, you

00:07:06.240 --> 00:07:08.300
also need to look into the other 80 % of the

00:07:08.300 --> 00:07:10.339
little problems now and then and weed them out

00:07:10.339 --> 00:07:12.500
because some of them may not even be all that

00:07:12.500 --> 00:07:14.939
great and it may be causing an even bigger issue

00:07:14.939 --> 00:07:19.220
later, even if it isn't something major. The

00:07:19.220 --> 00:07:22.160
80 -20 rule in relationships is fascinating and

00:07:22.160 --> 00:07:24.579
can help you understand what matters in a relationship,

00:07:24.759 --> 00:07:27.139
but it's up to your judgment to find and focus

00:07:27.139 --> 00:07:29.560
on the right details and take a passing glance

00:07:29.560 --> 00:07:31.800
at the smaller issues that crop up now and then.

00:07:33.600 --> 00:07:35.100
I just want to make sure the women understand

00:07:35.100 --> 00:07:39.500
this especially, okay? And I will, for the same

00:07:39.500 --> 00:07:41.639
reason, if there's any guys listening to this

00:07:41.639 --> 00:07:43.779
who's trying to show their women the best thing

00:07:43.779 --> 00:07:46.360
about relationships and how to improve it, you

00:07:46.360 --> 00:07:48.819
need to also follow the 80 -20 rule as well,

00:07:49.040 --> 00:07:49.420
okay?