One more thing tonight before I move on and yes,
the current time is 319 a .m Sure, we covered
a lot of information in the last I guess you
could say hour or so, but I Want to cover one
last thing the 8020 rule, okay in relationships
It can seem confusing at first but understand
this concept can help you change your relationship
for the better Okay, you know life isn't perfect
and it wasn't meant to be sometimes It's the
little burdens and difficulties in life that
makes it all worthwhile and meaningful. Okay
But then again, it's those very issues that can
make life and romance miserable too. Keep that
in mind. What if you could find a way to steamroll
all the problems in your relationship away with
the slightest effort? Okay, that would be great.
Everyone would love that. Well... This is where
the 80 -20 rule in relationships comes into effect,
okay? When you're in a relationship with someone
you love, there may be a few things that you
don't like about them, okay? After all, none
of us are perfectly compatible with each other
all the time. You know, at the start of a relationship,
when you both are still learning about each other,
the relationship can seem perfect, okay? And
it's great. you know but over time you know little
differences start to crop up and it could be
as mundane as the type of movies either if you
like or all the way all the way to what you know
either of you like doing over the weekend or
on vacation and you know and as time passes by
you can start to see that the little differences
can lead to more differences and then eventually
both you realize that you're completely different
people with different wants and likes in life
okay you know what do you do then you know really
both of you seem perfect for each other at the
start and all of a sudden you seem to have completely
different entrances okay um it happens to everyone
just know this but for the best part it's these
very differences that are completely repairable
you know and it makes it better okay um basically
um how do i explain this the 80 20 rule is basically
this about a century ago an italian uh economist
uh vilfredo frederick pareto and yes that's how
his name is pronounced noticed a few things from
his backyard he saw that 80 of the land in italy
was owned by 20 of the people in italy and he
observed the that 80 of the peas from his garden
were contained in just 20 of the pea pods growing
in his garden With those figures as references
and other observations, he developed a principle
which later came to be known as the Pareto Principle
or as we know it nowadays as the 80 -20 rule.
The 80 -20 rule may seem like a perfect economical
model as far as... economists are concerned,
but it also fits snugly into issues in a relationship
as well. The easiest way to interpret it with
respect to love and relationships is that 80
% of the frustrations in a relationship are caused
by just 20 % of the problems. By taking a look
into your own relationships and love lives, we
can see that most of the big frustrations and
annoyances are caused because of a couple of
reasons, even if you haven't realized it yet.
Irritations like clothes lying around the room,
taking ages to get dressed, or spending too much
time with friends over the phone, or maybe having
made too many numbers on your phone. But they're
all little annoyances that get magnified because
you're already upset with your partner for some
other bigger reason. The world works on a set
of global principles, and what works in one area
of life can also work in another area of your
life, too. Understanding love through the 80
-20 rule isn't very hard. You may feel like your
whole relationship is falling apart or that both
of you have drifted away from each other over
time, but all you need to do is focus on the
few deeper -rooted issues to sort out all the
problems in your relationship, and this will
resolve itself. Basically, to use the 80 -20
rule in relationships in your own life, the first
thing you both need to do is to stop worrying
about the 80 % of the things that bother either
of you about your relationship. All of us spend
so much time getting annoyed by the little stuff
that bother us that we lose the big picture and
that really creates all the problems. Why is
your relationship changing is the better question
to ask instead of why does he or she behave this
way. Just keep this in mind. I'm going to give
you a few examples in this next bit, and then
I'm going to let everybody go for the rest of
this night. And unless you're listening to this
on the podcast, you know, again, this is going
to be another episode. This is a two -part, so
please listen on for the next piece after this
short interlude. Okay, here are a few examples
of minor annoyances you could think about. Now,
these many annoyances may seem like a big deal,
and sometimes that's worthy of getting frustrated,
but just keep this in mind. It's not a good thing
to get annoyed by for the sake of your relationship,
okay? First one is your partner comes home late
from work. Your partner doesn't like going out
after they get back home. That one's not too
common, as most often than not, they're extremely
tired. Your lover isn't romantic anymore. There
are ways to fix this, but still, this is not
necessarily a reason to get completely annoyed.
Your partner spends all their time by themselves
playing games or watching TV, or your partner
falls asleep as soon as they get to bed. But
don't they all stem from the same root cause?
You feel neglected. Those are just a couple examples.
While there may be innumerable frustrations in
your love life, the real reason behind why they
all crop up may be only a handful. What should
you do to make your relationship better? That's
the question a lot of people should ask. All
relationships experience rough patches or confusions
now and then, but they can all be fixed by realizing
the most important factor. There's always a root
cause for the bigger problems. address the 20
% of the issues that cause the 80 % of the frustrations
in the relationship and you'll be able to sort
out more noticeable problems along the way. And
in a perfect relationship, you know, lovers don't
focus on cleaning the surface. They get to the
bottom of the problem even if it's messier. Alright?
Always get to the root cause and you'll experience
a better relationship and a happier life just
by following a principle of economy in your love
life. Yes. And it's called the 80 -20 rule of
relationships. Okay? Now, while a lot of people
do talk about a lot of different things in a
lot of these, I guess the best way to put it
is relationship guides and such, very few of
them bring up the 80 -20 rule, and this is why
I'm bringing it up now. While I am going to school
for something completely different from what
I'm talking to you about, it's one of the things
I have to learn about regardless, okay? But just
a word caution though, okay? Focusing on the
20 % of problems can't clear the most important
issues in a relationship, but... Sometimes, you
also need to look into the other 80 % of the
little problems now and then and weed them out
because some of them may not even be all that
great and it may be causing an even bigger issue
later, even if it isn't something major. The
80 -20 rule in relationships is fascinating and
can help you understand what matters in a relationship,
but it's up to your judgment to find and focus
on the right details and take a passing glance
at the smaller issues that crop up now and then.
I just want to make sure the women understand
this especially, okay? And I will, for the same
reason, if there's any guys listening to this
who's trying to show their women the best thing
about relationships and how to improve it, you
need to also follow the 80 -20 rule as well,
okay?