I'm going to cover the last two in this set,
but I have an additional 12 things I'm going
to go ahead and throw in here just for the sake
of, you know, covering all bases. The ninth item
is speaking badly of someone, also known as gossip.
Any kind of talk that is meant to defame someone,
hurt them, or anything like that in the trashy
or toxic kind of way, basically don't be that
person, okay? Gossip is poison and it is hurtful.
If your words are about someone else and they
don't lift them up, praise them, or... help them
don't say it at all okay it only shows bad character
on your part you need to respect yourself enough
to only speak happy and loving words if you don't
respect yourself well then how can you respect
anybody else on that note the tenth item is lack
of self -care whether that to be hygiene dietary
or even exercise you need to take care of yourself
in all ways both physically emotionally mentally
and even spiritually there's Only one of you,
one life, one chance. You need to live your life
to the fullest in the sense that you need to
take care of yourself, nurture your body, and
be happy. Respect yourself enough to look after
you, even if no one else. Okay? And with that
being said, I want to go back up to the verbal
and physical talk. Verbal, physical, and sexual
abuse all fall under the same category. We all
get angry and experience frustrating moments
in our lives. We tend to lash out and say hurtful
things to our loved ones during heated arguments.
It's only natural, but if someone is constantly
badgering you, not acknowledging the damage being
caused and not making any effort to change, then
you need to wake up and recognize the fact that
you are being disrespected. At no given point
is physical sexual abuse acceptable, period.
You need to make note of that. You need to think
about it as well. I cannot stress enough, okay?
Do not take a beating lying down. And if you
do, I will repeat, no matter what happens, it
is not okay to be physical or sexually abused,
okay? Do not try to find reasons to justify their
behavior. This is absolutely nothing that can
be justified or should be. And with that being
said, the next thing is controlling your behavior.
If someone's always... wants to control every
aspect of your life and doesn't trust you enough
to make your own decisions, then they do not
respect your abilities as a person. If your loved
ones trust and respect you, they will want you
to have your own experiences in life so that
you can learn from them. They will also encourage
you and be there to support you. They will not
instill fear, negativity, or anything of the
sort even before you take the first steps towards
making an effort. You know, respect equals freedom
in most cases. Next with that, I'm going to cover
force. If you're being forced to do anything
against your will, it is one of the highest forms
of disrespect available. Clearly, they have no
empathy or regard for your feelings or likes
or dislikes. Someone who cares and respects you
will never put you in such a position. Breaking
your boundaries is another one. Everyone must
respect and abide by other people's personal
boundaries, whatever they may be. Someone who
is uninvited and pokes their nose into your chartered
territory, in spite of you being extremely vocal
about it, has no regard for the limits you have
set and should not even be around you. With that
being said, never belittle your beliefs or opinions,
okay? A person who respects you will always...
will always agree to disagree okay they don't
have to believe or agree with your point of view
but they must allow you to have your own and
respect it even if it's different from theirs
whether a person is catholic or christian it
doesn't make a difference you know it's their
choice you can't force them to be like you and
they can't force you to be like them and if they
are again they shouldn't be near you or even
talking to you as they don't respect you With
that being said, I'm going to go ahead and cover
something from the relationship side as it does
involve this. Cheating and lying. This one's
basically a no -brainer. Even though the person
may love, care, or want you in their life, if
they lie and cheat on you, they absolutely don't
respect you. You need to keep this in mind. Another
of millions of reasons why people cheat and lie,
but sneaking around doing things behind your
back is extremely upsetting and disturbing. disrespectful.
An honest person gathers the courage to say the
truth and then deal with the consequences regardless.
In that sense, they don't listen. Then there's
the other side of it. Like I said, they could
be that person. They could tell you. You won't
know unless you consider the other person how
they feel or what they might or might not say.
If they're not telling you anything, it may be
because you or that other person, if you are
the other person, don't listen. And no matter
what you say or how right or valuable your advice
is, they always give you a deaf ear. They don't
acknowledge your feelings and always run from
confrontational experiences, become silent, or
talk you down. They always feel like you can't
get anything through to them, and communing with
them is such a harrowing task. They constantly
interrupt you when it's your turn to talk and
won't let you complete what you want to say.
They make you basically feel stupid. I deal with
this on a day -to -day basis, so I can honestly
say it is very common no matter where you go.
I'm going to go ahead and keep going. Always
turns the tables on you. This is something that
a lot of people tend to do when they don't want
to talk about something specifically, okay? They
basically continue to How do I put it no matter
what the situation they always turn the tables,
okay? They justify their behavior until the end
of time and don't shy away from making it all
your fault every single time They don't listen
or give you a chance to explain your side of
the story even if you do express They make it
all about how irrational or unreasonable you
are for having unrealistic expectations and totally
invalidate your feelings. You're never able to
freely communicate and sometimes choose to keep
quiet to avoid conflict. This is not healthy,
okay? And with that being said, they are never
there for you, okay? Don't we all have people
in our lives who take a whole lot from you but
very conveniently don't invest much back into
the relationship? it's basically like being dating
someone that you love but it being one -sided
and you're doing all the work and they're not
doing anything to compensate you okay they're
quick to lean on you for support and advice and
help but are never really there when you need
them and have excuses right at the tip of their
tongue they are never attentive to your needs
and always make you feel guilty for asking too
much even though you aren't i run into this a
lot especially in relationships which is one
of the main reasons why i'm single it's by choice
not because i don't want to be on that note issues
that you run into for people who are like this
is backbiting they have no courage to come and
say things to your face so they talk behind your
back and spread rumors If they genuinely care
and respect you, they should first come to you
rather than talk behind your back. Genuine people
address the issue head -on and give you honest
feedback, even if it's sometimes hard for them
to do so, or it's going to be hard for that person
to hear. You know, a lot of this stuff has to
be considered in order to help other people.
But if you don't, well, all you're doing is hurting
them, okay? They behave differently in public
as a result of this, okay? Did you ever come
across someone who is very sweet, caring when
you are alone with them, but then totally changed
their colors in public? Basically, it's the same
type of person, okay? They act like you embarrass
them and try to hide the fact that they have
been spending a lot of time with you lately.
And, you know, they totally shoot down your opinions
in front of others. They make you feel stupid.
Don't pay much attention as they should. Such
people are basically just using you for their
own needs and they feel they are far too superior
to be seen with you. This is typically a thing,
especially for those who are really smart and
have friends who are so say there for them, but
all they really want to do is have you there
to help them with their homework. Don't really
spend time with you and or hang out with you.
This is a common issue amongst a lot of people,
especially in high school and in college, which
then leads to issues of peer pressure. The irony
is that the movie Jumanji that just recently
came out also displays this. The type of girl
who's too pretty to do anything, the girl who's
too smart to do anything, the boy who's always
helping his used -to -be friend by doing all
his homework, but then his friend always treats
him like trash. Sorry about that. There's always
that one person who's in the middle of everything
who has nothing to do with it But gets caught
up in it anyway because he's there and he has
these same kind of people around All I can say
is this no matter what you do. It is never enough
for these people Okay, no matter what you do
for them. They always get a feeling that it's
never enough They never appreciate anything you
ever do or even pay attention to know that you
are trying your best Whether it's an achievement
at work or all you are looking for is to hear
I am proud of you Or simply a pat on the back.
Maybe you can try to change a certain behavioral
trait that they are unhappy with. Try to make
them feel good about themselves by being appreciative
and holding their hands through difficult situations.
They don't just value your efforts. They always
take you for granted, and it just seems like
a bottomless pit of selfishness. And that's just
how most people are. you know they don't consider
you they don't consider how you feel you know
that's the whole point of covering all these
topics of disrespect is so you know what it is
and how to deal with it you know it comes in
different forms and is very subjective to each
individual it happens in such a sneaky manner
that you don't even realize you're giving them
the leeway to treat you like this unknowingly.
The more you put up with these weird behaviors,
the more you let them disrespect you. It also
comes from a place within you, you know, where
you don't respect yourself enough to feel you
deserve better, which is the whole point of the
first 10 topics that I covered in the previous
episode. We sometimes lack the confidence to
stand up for ourselves. You must be genuinely
self -assured and know exactly what you can and
cannot put up with. Everything starts and ends
with self -respect. You have to first respect
yourself. Respect is a two -way street. It can
never be commanded. It must be earned. I think
it's more difficult to earn respect than to earn
money, to be honest, okay? Always put yourself
first and have high self -esteem. Don't waste
time on people who are not worth it and always
know you deserve more. If you are the one treating
someone else disrespectfully, however, then you
need to do a self -check and reflect if you would
like someone to treat you the same way. Otherwise,
you may find yourself in a... deep pit and you
will not be able to get out on your own every
choice you make to ignore or fight inappropriate
actions towards you will determine how others
treat you what you sow is what you reap okay
a very common phrase we all know love and respect
yourself and you will automatically not put up
with unacceptable behavior. Stand up for yourself
because no one else will. And respect is an emotion
that can also invoke from within. So it naturally
comes into play when you truly admire someone
for their abilities. It cannot be forced or bought.
Keep that in mind.