WEBVTT 00:00:07.159 --> 00:00:10.640 I'm going to go ahead and keep going. Always 00:00:10.640 --> 00:00:13.839 turns the tables on you. This is something that 00:00:13.839 --> 00:00:16.100 a lot of people tend to do when they don't want 00:00:16.100 --> 00:00:22.399 to talk about something specifically, okay? They 00:00:22.399 --> 00:00:26.980 basically continue to, how do I put it, no matter 00:00:26.980 --> 00:00:29.199 what the situation, they always turn the tables. 00:00:29.600 --> 00:00:31.960 They justify their behavior until the end of 00:00:31.960 --> 00:00:34.399 time and don't shy away from making it all your 00:00:34.399 --> 00:00:37.200 fault every single time. They don't listen or 00:00:37.200 --> 00:00:38.780 give you a chance to explain your side of the 00:00:38.780 --> 00:00:42.119 story. Even if you do express, they make it all 00:00:42.119 --> 00:00:45.219 about how irrational or unreasonable you are 00:00:45.219 --> 00:00:47.579 for having unrealistic expectations and totally 00:00:47.579 --> 00:00:50.159 invalidate your feelings. You're never able to 00:00:50.159 --> 00:00:52.460 freely communicate and sometimes choose to keep 00:00:52.460 --> 00:00:55.000 quiet to avoid conflict. This is not healthy. 00:00:56.810 --> 00:00:59.189 And with that being said, they are never there 00:00:59.189 --> 00:01:02.429 for you, okay? Don't we all have people in our 00:01:02.429 --> 00:01:05.829 lives who take a whole lot from you but very 00:01:05.829 --> 00:01:08.430 conveniently don't invest much back into the 00:01:08.430 --> 00:01:11.750 relationship? It's basically like dating someone 00:01:11.750 --> 00:01:14.189 that you love but it being one -sided and you're 00:01:14.189 --> 00:01:15.930 doing all the work and they're not doing anything 00:01:15.930 --> 00:01:19.269 to compensate you, okay? They're quick to lean 00:01:19.269 --> 00:01:22.060 on you for support and advice and help. but are 00:01:22.060 --> 00:01:24.459 never really there when you need them and have 00:01:24.459 --> 00:01:27.140 excuses right at the tip of their tongue. They 00:01:27.140 --> 00:01:29.379 are never attentive to your needs and always 00:01:29.379 --> 00:01:32.000 make you feel guilty for asking too much even 00:01:32.000 --> 00:01:35.560 though you aren't. I run into this a lot, especially 00:01:35.560 --> 00:01:38.040 in relationships, which is one of the main reasons 00:01:38.040 --> 00:01:42.680 why I'm single. It's by choice, not because I 00:01:42.680 --> 00:01:46.349 don't want to be. On that note, Issues that you 00:01:46.349 --> 00:01:48.870 run into for people who are like this is backbiting. 00:01:49.189 --> 00:01:51.469 They have no courage to come and say things to 00:01:51.469 --> 00:01:53.250 your face, so they talk behind your back and 00:01:53.250 --> 00:01:55.829 spread rumors. If they genuinely care and respect 00:01:55.829 --> 00:01:58.189 you, they should first come to you rather than 00:01:58.189 --> 00:02:00.069 talk behind your back. Genuine people address 00:02:00.069 --> 00:02:02.109 the issue head on and give you honest feedback, 00:02:02.269 --> 00:02:04.930 even if it's sometimes hard for them to do so 00:02:04.930 --> 00:02:07.489 or it's going to be hard for that person to hear. 00:02:07.709 --> 00:02:12.210 You know, a lot of this stuff has to be considered. 00:02:13.020 --> 00:02:15.740 in order to help other people but if you don't 00:02:15.740 --> 00:02:18.639 well all you're doing is hurting them okay they 00:02:18.639 --> 00:02:21.560 behave differently in public as a result of this 00:02:21.560 --> 00:02:27.340 okay did you ever come across uh someone who 00:02:27.340 --> 00:02:30.120 is very sweet caring when you are alone with 00:02:30.120 --> 00:02:32.159 them but then totally change their colors in 00:02:32.159 --> 00:02:37.340 public basically it's the same type of person 00:02:37.340 --> 00:02:40.310 okay They act like you embarrass them and try 00:02:40.310 --> 00:02:42.710 to hide the fact that they have been spending 00:02:42.710 --> 00:02:48.189 a lot of time with you lately. They totally shoot 00:02:48.189 --> 00:02:50.009 down your opinions in front of others. They make 00:02:50.009 --> 00:02:53.189 you feel stupid. They don't pay much attention, 00:02:53.389 --> 00:02:56.590 as they should. Such people are basically just 00:02:56.590 --> 00:02:58.409 using you for their own needs, and they feel 00:02:58.409 --> 00:03:01.509 they are far too superior to be seen with you. 00:03:01.629 --> 00:03:04.889 This is typically a thing, especially for those 00:03:04.889 --> 00:03:08.110 who are... really smart and have friends who 00:03:08.110 --> 00:03:12.810 are so say there for them but all they really 00:03:12.810 --> 00:03:16.210 want to do is have you there to help them with 00:03:16.210 --> 00:03:18.150 their homework don't really spend time with you 00:03:18.150 --> 00:03:20.849 and or hang out with you this is a common issue 00:03:20.849 --> 00:03:23.629 amongst a lot of people especially in high school 00:03:23.629 --> 00:03:26.330 and in college which then leads to issues of 00:03:26.330 --> 00:03:30.129 peer pressure the irony is that the movie jumanji 00:03:30.129 --> 00:03:34.330 that just recently came out also displays this 00:03:35.159 --> 00:03:37.460 The type of girl who's too pretty to do anything. 00:03:37.539 --> 00:03:40.139 The girl who's too smart to do anything. The 00:03:40.139 --> 00:03:42.759 boy who's always helping his used -to -be friend 00:03:42.759 --> 00:03:44.639 by doing all his homework, but then his friend 00:03:44.639 --> 00:03:48.219 always treats him like trash. Sorry about that. 00:03:50.000 --> 00:03:51.900 There's always that one person who's in the middle 00:03:51.900 --> 00:03:53.520 of everything who has nothing to do with it, 00:03:53.560 --> 00:03:55.580 but gets caught up in it anyway because he's 00:03:55.580 --> 00:03:58.500 there. And he has these same kind of people around 00:03:58.500 --> 00:04:01.639 him. All I can say is this. No matter what you 00:04:01.639 --> 00:04:04.800 do, it is never enough for these people. No matter 00:04:04.800 --> 00:04:07.020 what you do for them, they always get a feeling 00:04:07.020 --> 00:04:08.979 that it's never enough. They never appreciate 00:04:08.979 --> 00:04:11.560 anything you ever do or even pay attention to 00:04:11.560 --> 00:04:14.199 know that you are trying your best, whether it's 00:04:14.199 --> 00:04:16.199 an achievement at work or all you are looking 00:04:16.199 --> 00:04:19.779 for is to hear, I am proud of you. or simply 00:04:19.779 --> 00:04:22.459 a pat on the back maybe you can try to change 00:04:22.459 --> 00:04:24.920 a certain behavioral trait that they are unhappy 00:04:24.920 --> 00:04:27.399 with you know try to make them feel good about 00:04:27.399 --> 00:04:29.639 themselves by being appreciative and holding 00:04:29.639 --> 00:04:32.079 their hands you know through different difficult 00:04:32.079 --> 00:04:35.379 situations they don't just value your efforts 00:04:35.379 --> 00:04:38.040 they always take you for granted and it just 00:04:38.040 --> 00:04:41.300 seems like a bottomless pit of selfishness and 00:04:41.300 --> 00:04:44.699 that's just how most people are you know they 00:04:44.699 --> 00:04:46.620 don't consider you they don't consider how you 00:04:46.620 --> 00:04:49.689 feel That's the whole point of covering all these 00:04:49.689 --> 00:04:52.290 topics of disrespect is so you know what it is 00:04:52.290 --> 00:04:57.250 and how to deal with it. It comes in different 00:04:57.250 --> 00:04:59.610 forms and is very subjective to each individual. 00:05:00.310 --> 00:05:03.069 It happens in such a sneaky manner that you don't 00:05:03.069 --> 00:05:05.089 even realize you're giving them the leeway to 00:05:05.089 --> 00:05:08.379 treat you. like this unknowingly. The more you 00:05:08.379 --> 00:05:10.920 put up with these weird behaviors, the more you 00:05:10.920 --> 00:05:13.620 let them disrespect you. It also comes from a 00:05:13.620 --> 00:05:15.980 place within you where you don't respect yourself 00:05:15.980 --> 00:05:18.480 enough to feel you deserve better, which was 00:05:18.480 --> 00:05:21.060 the whole point of the first 10 topics that I 00:05:21.060 --> 00:05:24.240 covered in the previous episode. We sometimes 00:05:24.240 --> 00:05:26.160 lack the confidence to stand up for ourselves. 00:05:26.439 --> 00:05:28.800 You must be genuinely self -assured and know 00:05:28.800 --> 00:05:30.860 exactly what you can and cannot put up with. 00:05:31.540 --> 00:05:33.660 Everything starts and ends with self -respect. 00:05:33.839 --> 00:05:36.209 You have to first respect yourself. Respect is 00:05:36.209 --> 00:05:38.449 a two -way street. It can never be commanded. 00:05:38.810 --> 00:05:41.870 It must be earned. I think it's more difficult 00:05:41.870 --> 00:05:44.230 to earn respect than to earn money, to be honest. 00:05:44.470 --> 00:05:47.009 Always put yourself first and have high self 00:05:47.009 --> 00:05:49.250 -esteem. Don't waste time on people who are not 00:05:49.250 --> 00:05:52.189 worth it and always know you deserve more. If 00:05:52.189 --> 00:05:54.350 you are the one treating someone else disrespectfully, 00:05:54.350 --> 00:05:57.569 however, then you need to do a self -check and 00:05:57.569 --> 00:05:59.689 reflect if you would like someone to treat you 00:05:59.689 --> 00:06:02.389 the same way. Otherwise, you may find yourself 00:06:02.389 --> 00:06:05.709 in a deep pit and you will not be able to get 00:06:05.709 --> 00:06:08.490 out on your own every choice you make to ignore 00:06:08.490 --> 00:06:10.949 or fight inappropriate actions towards you will 00:06:10.949 --> 00:06:14.509 determine how others treat you what you sow is 00:06:14.509 --> 00:06:17.310 what you reap okay a very common phrase we all 00:06:17.310 --> 00:06:20.540 know Love and respect yourself and you will automatically 00:06:20.540 --> 00:06:23.399 not put up with unacceptable behavior. Stand 00:06:23.399 --> 00:06:25.779 up for yourself because no one else will. And 00:06:25.779 --> 00:06:28.079 respect is an emotion that can also invoke from 00:06:28.079 --> 00:06:30.519 within, so it naturally comes into play when 00:06:30.519 --> 00:06:32.480 you truly admire someone for their abilities. 00:06:32.720 --> 00:06:36.000 It cannot be forced or bought. Keep that in mind. 00:06:48.139 --> 00:06:52.339 With this, I end everything on this topic for 00:06:52.339 --> 00:06:54.040 respect. Now, I'm going to continue throughout 00:06:54.040 --> 00:06:57.740 the rest of the week and cover other morals as 00:06:57.740 --> 00:07:00.980 there are many, many more. But I'm going to go 00:07:00.980 --> 00:07:04.920 ahead and end it with this. If you wish to show 00:07:04.920 --> 00:07:07.360 other people respect or you want to know if you 00:07:07.360 --> 00:07:11.519 are being respected, here are five easy ways 00:07:11.519 --> 00:07:14.240 to show your gratitude and respect. And this 00:07:14.240 --> 00:07:17.139 is what I'm going to end with. First off, listen. 00:07:17.950 --> 00:07:21.350 Okay, I know it sounds easy, but listening, truly 00:07:21.350 --> 00:07:23.589 listening, can be one of the hardest skills to 00:07:23.589 --> 00:07:26.930 master. If you want a person to know you respect 00:07:26.930 --> 00:07:29.509 him or her, then tune in to what the person is 00:07:29.509 --> 00:07:31.769 saying, look them into the eye, put down your 00:07:31.769 --> 00:07:34.550 damn cell phone, and offer feedback when necessary. 00:07:34.870 --> 00:07:36.990 Everyone appreciates the person who's willing 00:07:36.990 --> 00:07:38.730 to listen to them and show genuine interest in 00:07:38.730 --> 00:07:42.560 what they have to say. On that note, encouragement. 00:07:42.980 --> 00:07:45.920 If you've ever had a bad day, then you know the 00:07:45.920 --> 00:07:48.819 power of encouragement can be very helpful. We've 00:07:48.819 --> 00:07:50.279 all had moments where we all needed someone to 00:07:50.279 --> 00:07:53.300 tell us, don't worry, things will work out. It 00:07:53.300 --> 00:07:55.379 may not seem like much at the time, but that 00:07:55.379 --> 00:07:57.240 person will remember that you took the time and 00:07:57.240 --> 00:07:59.939 interest in their feelings and well -being, as 00:07:59.939 --> 00:08:01.980 well as a smile and an uplifting word can truly 00:08:01.980 --> 00:08:06.040 brighten someone's day. Third, congratulate someone. 00:08:07.890 --> 00:08:10.389 If someone does a great job, let them know about 00:08:10.389 --> 00:08:13.009 it. In fact, let everybody know about it. Openly 00:08:13.009 --> 00:08:15.129 congratulate someone for a job well done, especially 00:08:15.129 --> 00:08:18.089 if you're a manager. Employees will work hard 00:08:18.089 --> 00:08:19.810 and happier knowing that their manager has a 00:08:19.810 --> 00:08:21.610 mutual respect for them and is willing to express 00:08:21.610 --> 00:08:24.370 praise and or gratitude when it is deserved. 00:08:25.450 --> 00:08:29.110 On that note, be helpful, okay? If you find a 00:08:29.110 --> 00:08:31.089 friend or a co -worker in a jam, be willing to 00:08:31.089 --> 00:08:33.129 help them if possible. No, you don't need anything 00:08:33.129 --> 00:08:36.269 in return. It just shows that you respect them 00:08:36.269 --> 00:08:38.789 enough to help them if they need it without asking 00:08:38.789 --> 00:08:41.889 them for anything in return. Not to say that 00:08:41.889 --> 00:08:44.110 you should take on half of their project, but 00:08:44.110 --> 00:08:46.090 offering some advice or throwing in a bit of 00:08:46.090 --> 00:08:48.909 your time will mean a lot if that friend or co 00:08:48.909 --> 00:08:50.889 -worker has helped you in the past. Then returning 00:08:50.889 --> 00:08:53.250 a favor will be a nice way to show both your 00:08:53.250 --> 00:08:56.500 respect and gratitude. Okay? Kind of like how 00:08:56.500 --> 00:08:58.879 I do these podcasts to help people I may or may 00:08:58.879 --> 00:09:02.120 not know and get certain points across and help 00:09:02.120 --> 00:09:04.460 them if they're too afraid to speak to other 00:09:04.460 --> 00:09:09.139 people. Last but not least, say thank you. I 00:09:09.139 --> 00:09:13.259 can't express this enough, but just simply saying 00:09:13.259 --> 00:09:16.399 thank you to someone who's helping you, friends 00:09:16.399 --> 00:09:19.879 with you, your parents, your teachers, your boss, 00:09:20.059 --> 00:09:23.100 your employers, your coworkers, can do so... 00:09:23.399 --> 00:09:26.440 So much for you and even open doors that you 00:09:26.440 --> 00:09:28.919 never knew were even possible to open that you 00:09:28.919 --> 00:09:32.120 couldn't have done on your own It may seem like 00:09:32.120 --> 00:09:35.740 common sense But as many people just simply forget 00:09:35.740 --> 00:09:38.840 to say it or at least forget how to say it with 00:09:38.840 --> 00:09:41.720 sincerity You know I think you can be as simple 00:09:41.720 --> 00:09:44.379 as a small as two words as much as buying someone 00:09:44.379 --> 00:09:47.139 a gift nevertheless If the action is not done 00:09:47.139 --> 00:09:50.559 with a hundred percent sincerity Then it's just 00:09:50.559 --> 00:09:53.789 wasted Make sure people know you appreciate them 00:09:53.789 --> 00:09:55.789 and their actions. Simply saying it in front 00:09:55.789 --> 00:09:58.990 of someone else can make a big impact. With the 00:09:58.990 --> 00:10:01.129 daily pressures on us, we often overlook opportunities 00:10:01.129 --> 00:10:04.149 to thank and compliment people we are with. You 00:10:04.149 --> 00:10:05.789 need to take time to show your appreciation and 00:10:05.789 --> 00:10:07.769 gratitude. Not only does it make the other person 00:10:07.769 --> 00:10:10.250 feel better, but you will feel uplifted as well. 00:10:10.389 --> 00:10:12.750 If you want your relationships or organizations 00:10:12.750 --> 00:10:16.269 to do well, just remember two basic guidelines 00:10:16.269 --> 00:10:19.629 for success. Mutual respect and gratitude. They'll 00:10:19.629 --> 00:10:22.100 take you very far. especially in the business 00:10:22.100 --> 00:10:25.039 world, as it's becoming more and more complicated 00:10:25.039 --> 00:10:31.399 and more relationship -based as time goes on. 00:10:31.720 --> 00:10:35.220 And with that, I end this segment for respect 00:10:35.220 --> 00:10:38.179 in the series that I'm covering right now on 00:10:38.179 --> 00:10:41.120 morals and thoughts, if it were you. Thank you 00:10:41.120 --> 00:10:44.840 for your time, and I look forward to picking 00:10:44.840 --> 00:10:47.960 up on the next topic either later today or tomorrow 00:10:47.960 --> 00:10:51.610 for the next episode. Thank you. Enjoy the rest 00:10:51.610 --> 00:10:52.029 of your day.