WEBVTT 00:00:04.990 --> 00:00:08.869 Moving on to number 10, continuing with the 19 00:00:08.869 --> 00:00:12.130 reasons why willpower fails. Here at Thoughts 00:00:12.130 --> 00:00:15.189 If It Were You, food for thought by neogentrics. 00:00:15.349 --> 00:00:17.309 We're going to continue our morals here with 00:00:17.309 --> 00:00:21.550 self -control. Number 10, sleep deprivation handicaps 00:00:21.550 --> 00:00:24.870 best efforts. You may have a strong will or a 00:00:24.870 --> 00:00:27.190 tremendous plan and great ideas, but if you're 00:00:27.190 --> 00:00:29.109 not getting enough quality sleep, it'll all be 00:00:29.109 --> 00:00:31.210 for naught. I'm going to say this right now. 00:00:31.449 --> 00:00:35.049 Research has shown that shorting. yourself on 00:00:35.049 --> 00:00:37.909 sleep has the effect of burning out your cerebral 00:00:37.909 --> 00:00:43.090 circuits and a lot of other things as well. In 00:00:43.090 --> 00:00:45.369 a very real sense, our brain overheats without 00:00:45.369 --> 00:00:48.149 enough sleep and the outcome is slower processing 00:00:48.149 --> 00:00:52.770 power, less mental energy, and hair trigger irritability 00:00:52.770 --> 00:00:56.590 when things don't go well. Not a prescription. 00:00:57.359 --> 00:00:59.460 for willpower success i'm just going to say that 00:00:59.460 --> 00:01:01.560 right now basically it's like that computer you 00:01:01.560 --> 00:01:03.579 have upstairs it's basically covered in viruses 00:01:03.579 --> 00:01:07.219 it hasn't been maintained like it should probably 00:01:07.219 --> 00:01:14.000 be i .e i am a tech person number 11 underestimation 00:01:14.000 --> 00:01:18.620 of foods and other chemical effects go ahead 00:01:18.620 --> 00:01:20.480 and cover those too i thought about it after 00:01:20.480 --> 00:01:23.930 i did it um if you engage If you're engaging 00:01:23.930 --> 00:01:27.769 willpower to break free from certain foods, dieting, 00:01:27.769 --> 00:01:30.849 for example, or anything else that's basically 00:01:30.849 --> 00:01:33.409 ingested, you're wise to recognize the power 00:01:33.409 --> 00:01:36.829 of your adversary and not forget it. Reason is 00:01:36.829 --> 00:01:40.269 kind of hard to swallow, no pun intended. Your 00:01:40.269 --> 00:01:43.629 brain is complicit in your failures, okay? The 00:01:43.629 --> 00:01:46.209 reason why these things are so hard to drop is 00:01:46.209 --> 00:01:49.829 that your brain's reward center basically... 00:01:51.000 --> 00:01:53.879 It wants them. It wants the dopamine release 00:01:53.879 --> 00:01:57.760 that they trigger. And it's not going to stop 00:01:57.760 --> 00:02:00.659 wanting it without a degree of hardships most 00:02:00.659 --> 00:02:03.480 of us underestimate. Knowing the reasons why 00:02:03.480 --> 00:02:06.840 your brain won't let go helps direct your efforts 00:02:06.840 --> 00:02:08.939 and helps you understand why you will experience 00:02:08.939 --> 00:02:11.680 failure probably more than once before you actually 00:02:11.680 --> 00:02:17.840 succeed. With that being said, number 12. The 00:02:17.840 --> 00:02:22.259 belief deficit. We spoke earlier about the brain 00:02:22.259 --> 00:02:26.659 as an energy hog, if you will, back on the fourth 00:02:26.659 --> 00:02:31.300 item. But in another sense, it's an energy miser. 00:02:31.539 --> 00:02:35.199 If you don't really believe you can achieve something, 00:02:35.580 --> 00:02:39.639 anything, you're basically triggering an internal 00:02:39.639 --> 00:02:42.199 feedback loop that tells your brain not to allocate 00:02:42.199 --> 00:02:45.599 resources whatsoever. Like trying to install 00:02:45.599 --> 00:02:47.639 an operating system to a hard drive, but without 00:02:47.639 --> 00:02:50.319 allocating the space first, and it erases all 00:02:50.319 --> 00:02:54.639 your music on the second drive. Bottom line, 00:02:54.900 --> 00:02:57.979 if you don't believe you can do it, you, well, 00:02:58.199 --> 00:03:01.240 you won't. Granted, simply believing that you 00:03:01.240 --> 00:03:03.360 can do something is absolutely no guarantee that 00:03:03.360 --> 00:03:06.520 you can, but belief is a requisite condition 00:03:06.520 --> 00:03:11.300 for achievement. Not an exhausted one. If you 00:03:11.300 --> 00:03:14.259 want your brain to put mojo in your resolve, 00:03:14.460 --> 00:03:17.120 as some people say, you'd better believe that 00:03:17.120 --> 00:03:19.020 what you are doing is worthwhile. Otherwise, 00:03:19.240 --> 00:03:24.259 you might as well quit now. Number 13, we adapt 00:03:24.259 --> 00:03:28.740 to the consequences of quitting. Paul Bear Bryant, 00:03:29.020 --> 00:03:31.919 the storied football coach of Alabama Crimson 00:03:31.919 --> 00:03:35.669 Tide, once said, The first time you quit, it's 00:03:35.669 --> 00:03:38.090 hard. The second time, it gets easier. And the 00:03:38.090 --> 00:03:39.770 third time, you don't even have to think about 00:03:39.770 --> 00:03:43.449 it. So, if the bear had studied cognitive psychology, 00:03:43.849 --> 00:03:48.150 he'd have known that his wisdom isn't only satisfying, 00:03:48.650 --> 00:03:51.509 but scientifically valid. The reason is that 00:03:51.509 --> 00:03:54.590 we adapt to the sensation of quitting much as 00:03:54.590 --> 00:03:58.360 we do anything else. The more we adapt, the less 00:03:58.360 --> 00:04:01.719 the sensation we experience. Whatever external 00:04:01.719 --> 00:04:04.400 consequences of quitting we may face, the one 00:04:04.400 --> 00:04:07.039 thing that stings the most is feeling that internal 00:04:07.039 --> 00:04:12.099 sensation. For willpower to work, it's important 00:04:12.099 --> 00:04:15.840 that quitting doesn't lose its sting. Like when 00:04:15.840 --> 00:04:17.600 you were younger and you disobeyed your parents 00:04:17.600 --> 00:04:20.980 and you got a butt weapon or worse. Whatever 00:04:20.980 --> 00:04:25.480 it may be. For those who got punished when they 00:04:25.480 --> 00:04:37.490 did wrong. Going into the home stretch now, 14 00:04:37.490 --> 00:04:41.769 out of 19 reasons. 14. Lack of feedback promotes 00:04:41.769 --> 00:04:45.230 apathy. Another reason to keep a few trusted 00:04:45.230 --> 00:04:48.350 other loops looped into your plans is that you'll 00:04:48.350 --> 00:04:51.430 receive feedback on how well you're doing. Well, 00:04:51.550 --> 00:04:54.149 if you seek it out, that is. If, on the other 00:04:54.149 --> 00:04:56.310 hand, you choose to exercise your will in a vacuum, 00:04:56.589 --> 00:04:59.550 you'll lose on multiple fronts. Lack of perspective, 00:04:59.829 --> 00:05:02.649 lack of accountability, and an ever -increasing 00:05:02.649 --> 00:05:05.779 sense of apathy about... why you're even doing 00:05:05.779 --> 00:05:08.439 this in the first place. Research also shows 00:05:08.439 --> 00:05:10.439 that if you wisely seek feedback, the faster 00:05:10.439 --> 00:05:13.459 you get it, the better, because delayed feedback 00:05:13.459 --> 00:05:17.000 undermines performance and it, you know, get 00:05:17.000 --> 00:05:21.040 it as fast as you can and take it straight. It 00:05:21.040 --> 00:05:23.019 doesn't matter if it hurts your feelings, if 00:05:23.019 --> 00:05:27.600 it helps you move forward. 15. Imagine outcomes 00:05:27.600 --> 00:05:30.680 misdirect energy. Will pitted against rumination 00:05:30.680 --> 00:05:33.800 isn't a fair fight. Will doesn't stand much of 00:05:33.800 --> 00:05:37.040 a chance. Our capacity to overthink and drift 00:05:37.040 --> 00:05:39.199 into endless fields of rumination about the worst 00:05:39.199 --> 00:05:41.560 that could possibly happen saps the will from 00:05:41.560 --> 00:05:44.579 our bones. Our brains are extremely threat sensitive, 00:05:44.819 --> 00:05:47.379 which is inherently a good thing, but the more 00:05:47.379 --> 00:05:49.899 we ruminate about failures and loss, the more 00:05:49.899 --> 00:05:52.040 energy it diverts towards addressing the threat 00:05:52.040 --> 00:05:55.410 instead of achieving and overcoming. uh will 00:05:55.410 --> 00:05:58.170 loses its edge before you even realize it's even 00:05:58.170 --> 00:06:01.769 gone which hurts you more than helps you 16. 00:06:02.310 --> 00:06:06.970 seduction of the chase obscures the goal we intuitively 00:06:06.970 --> 00:06:10.089 know that the hunt the biochemically fuel drive 00:06:10.089 --> 00:06:14.129 of our seeking brains if you will is frequently 00:06:14.129 --> 00:06:17.370 more satisfying than getting whatever we actually 00:06:17.370 --> 00:06:20.009 been hunting the problem is that it's easy to 00:06:20.009 --> 00:06:22.139 lose sight of why we're even doing we're doing 00:06:22.139 --> 00:06:24.379 in the first place, and instead become lost in 00:06:24.379 --> 00:06:29.420 the ephemeral fog of the chase, if you will. 00:06:29.839 --> 00:06:33.220 When you no longer understand or recall why you're 00:06:33.220 --> 00:06:35.160 on the path you started down, your willpower 00:06:35.160 --> 00:06:38.120 is derailed. Direction is lost, and it's not 00:06:38.120 --> 00:06:40.839 easily regained. So staying focused is essential 00:06:40.839 --> 00:06:44.060 for willpower to get you there to where you were 00:06:44.060 --> 00:06:48.800 targeting in the first place. 17. The elusive 00:06:48.800 --> 00:06:51.879 loop of habit change. Trying to will yourself 00:06:51.879 --> 00:06:54.839 out of a bad habit is a classic tale of woe that 00:06:54.839 --> 00:06:58.079 we all know way too well. The problem isn't that 00:06:58.079 --> 00:07:00.459 we lack will, it's that we lack knowledge of 00:07:00.459 --> 00:07:04.160 how to apply it. As Charles Doug explained in 00:07:04.160 --> 00:07:08.000 his book, The Power of Habit, habit changes in 00:07:08.000 --> 00:07:11.740 a three -act play, if you will. That's the best 00:07:11.740 --> 00:07:15.339 way I can word that. A feedback loop that begins 00:07:15.339 --> 00:07:18.139 with a cue, leads to a routine, and ends with 00:07:18.139 --> 00:07:21.120 a reward. Smoking, as an example, starts with 00:07:21.120 --> 00:07:23.300 the cue of stress, leads to a routine of smoking 00:07:23.300 --> 00:07:27.300 to alleviate that stress, and ends with a reward 00:07:27.300 --> 00:07:31.379 of reduced feelings of, well, stress. Of those 00:07:31.379 --> 00:07:33.620 three things, the only one you can really change 00:07:33.620 --> 00:07:36.459 is the routine. You will always experience stress 00:07:36.459 --> 00:07:39.000 and always want to stress relieved, but the question 00:07:39.000 --> 00:07:42.680 is, what routine will get you there? You have 00:07:42.680 --> 00:07:46.459 to consider this. Will Pal can't stomp the routine 00:07:46.459 --> 00:07:49.000 out of resistance, but it can help you replace 00:07:49.000 --> 00:07:52.800 it with something else. On that note, number 00:07:52.800 --> 00:07:57.860 18. All will and no technique. The most willful, 00:07:57.860 --> 00:08:00.139 resolved person on the planet still needs a practice. 00:08:00.379 --> 00:08:02.980 A tested method of accomplishing or overcoming 00:08:02.980 --> 00:08:07.420 to achieve success. No one's wills themselves 00:08:07.420 --> 00:08:12.540 into a being of star athlete or... A top professional 00:08:12.540 --> 00:08:15.060 without paying heed to best practices that direct 00:08:15.060 --> 00:08:18.839 their energy. Few people can simulate lost weight 00:08:18.839 --> 00:08:21.800 and get in shape without a seasoned practice 00:08:21.800 --> 00:08:25.759 to get there. Will may be the power, but it's 00:08:25.759 --> 00:08:27.920 nothing without the practice. You still need 00:08:27.920 --> 00:08:33.100 help. On that note, the last one is 19. Moral 00:08:33.100 --> 00:08:37.000 licensing is a get out of jail free card. More 00:08:37.000 --> 00:08:41.769 or less. All of us live on a... A seesaw, if 00:08:41.769 --> 00:08:45.389 you will. You notice I like metaphors. If we 00:08:45.389 --> 00:08:48.769 do something morally questionable, we feel a 00:08:48.769 --> 00:08:51.909 sense of balance restored. If we then do something 00:08:51.909 --> 00:08:56.649 morally loud, psychologists call this moral licensing, 00:08:56.710 --> 00:09:01.889 if you will. And it's endemic to our species. 00:09:02.309 --> 00:09:06.049 More to the point, it's a well -defeating dynamic 00:09:06.049 --> 00:09:09.769 because... We can so easily adjust our standards 00:09:09.769 --> 00:09:13.009 to avoid the necessity of having to exercise 00:09:13.009 --> 00:09:15.929 well. All of us would benefit from taking a hard 00:09:15.929 --> 00:09:19.929 look at our seesaw of life, if you will, and 00:09:19.929 --> 00:09:23.830 whether we're seesawing ourselves away from the 00:09:23.830 --> 00:09:29.110 ideal self we're willing to be. That's something 00:09:29.110 --> 00:09:35.289 that we all need to consider. These are things 00:09:35.289 --> 00:09:38.799 that basically hurt your self -confidence, if 00:09:38.799 --> 00:09:41.840 not hurt you as a person. And they should be 00:09:41.840 --> 00:09:46.600 skillfully avoided. Anyway, that brings an end 00:09:46.600 --> 00:09:49.279 to this episode. In the next episode, we're going 00:09:49.279 --> 00:09:54.159 to talk about how to build self -control. There 00:09:54.159 --> 00:09:57.419 are a total of, I do believe, nine topics. I 00:09:57.419 --> 00:10:00.460 can't remember at the moment. I will cover them 00:10:00.460 --> 00:10:07.529 dutifully. And then we'll finish off this moral.