Good morning everybody, it is 1 .30am. This is
Food for Thought, Thoughts If It Were You by
Neogentrics. We're still working on the moral
series and today I'm going to go ahead and finish
up self -control and then we're going to move
into the next moral. In this piece I'm going
to cover the final thing. regarding self -control,
and that's how to build self -control. Okay,
building self -control can be challenging, but
it is possible to create change in your life
and manage impulsivity. Feeling more in control
of yourself and your actions can lead to feeling
more in control of your life or feeling more
empowered about who you are and helping boost
your feelings of self -esteem. A method in which
you can use to do that is One of the main methods
in rebuilding your self -control is recognize
impulsive thoughts. Basically, having strategies
to help you resist temptation in the moment will
help you build self -control. Start by making
a list of the behaviors you'd like to control
and the situations that often trigger those behaviors.
And by recognizing the moments when you get the
urge to act impulsively, you'll be more equipped
to create a delay between the urge and the action.
On that note, place time restrictions on impulsive
thoughts. in your thoughts will help you reevaluate
your actions from a more rational viewpoint this
will also help you to learn how to create a delay
in your actions instead of just acting upon your
urges for example if spending money or shopping
is one of the areas that you want to build self
-control then Place a 24 -hour hold on any purchases
before you buy anything. You can write down in
a small notebook what you are thinking about
buying, and in 24 hours revisit your list and
decide then if you really want or need that item.
This will help put a damper on you constantly
grabbing your wallet every time you see something
you think you might want. On that note, try belly
breathing. This suggestion can come in handy
if you are trying to quit smoking or curb your
eating habits. If you have a cigarette or food
craving instead of immediately giving in to the
craving, set your phone timer for five minutes
and focus on breathing from your belly. Remind
yourself that a craving is, well, just that,
a craving. It's not a necessity. Take the five
minutes of breathing to imagine the craving slowly
disappearing every time you exhale. Take note
of how you feel, and if you still want to engage
in eating impulsively or give in to that cigarette,
how do I put this? Try closing your eyes and
breathing in slowly through your nose. Continue
filling your lungs. Fully expand your chest and
lower belly. Finally, breathe out slowly and
naturally. like you would any other day, using
your mouth and your nose. This is another way
to help curb those really nasty temptations.
If that doesn't work, find a healthy distraction.
You'll find it harder to avoid the urge if you
simply sit and fixate on it, which is ironic,
considering we just covered perseverance. Instead,
Recognize the urge and actively try to distract
yourself with something else. This can help distract
your mind from the urge or craving and give you
the space to truly decide if you want to act
on that urge or feeling whatsoever. Sometimes
doing something with your hands is usually helpful,
such as crocheting, knitting, folding origami,
or Well, I can't believe I'm saying this. Even
texting a friend can be used as a distraction
so you don't do something you, well, don't want
to do. Next, have a go -to activity. In addition
to momentary distractions, actively try to replace
the behavior you want to control with a substantive
alternative. By giving yourself more time to
take the decision, you can make a clearer, more
empowered decision. For instance, if you're trying
to stop spending money, you can go for a walk
in a green space where you won't even have the
opportunity to shop, like a forest or a park.
Or if you're trying to control overeating, you
can develop the habit of hitting the gym when
the urge to overeat arises. That's just one method
of building self -control. Next, let's work on
building long -term self -control. First off,
make a list of the habits or behaviors you want
to control. If people in your life have made
suggestions about your habits, take those suggestions
into consideration. Don't just yell at them,
which is also rude, by the way. Remember that
true change comes from the inside, so also listen
to your intuition and honor how you feel, as
well as feedback you have received from people
in your life. You have to be committed to making
change and building self -control in order to
truly change your behaviors. Some examples might
be smoking, eating, work habits, productivity,
yes, alcohol, controlling your temper, shopping
and spending money, etc. Believe it or not, this
list does go on for a while, okay? Second, choose
the main behavior from the list you'd like to
control. Start with one at a time. You can start
with an easy one. It doesn't have to be a hard
one. We all have areas of our life that could
be more disciplined and self -controlled. So
remember to be easy on yourself and take things
slowly. Look at your list. Choose one thing you
want to work on. Changing habits takes time.
It's not overnight. I'm going to go ahead and
say this right now. And building self -control
takes effort. Honor your energy and set realistic
goals. that are achievable, alright? I want you
to remember something here. Remember that you're
only in control of your own behavior while choosing.
For instance, don't choose something like having
a better relationship with my parents, since
that requires efforts from both of your parents
as well, assuming you have both of them still
there. A goal such as improving my communication
habits with my parents is better because it...
It hinges on your behavior alone, more so than
improving your relationship with them. Be realistic
about what kind of changes you want to make that
will fit into your life, your time, and your
abilities. If you try to change everything at
once, as ambitious as this may be, you can risk
self -sabotaging yourself and all your efforts
and basically just giving up. which doesn't tend
to hurt you in the long run. Third, research
the behavior, okay, the issue you're having.
Educate yourself as much as you can about how
others have built self -control in similar situations.
Ask friends or loved ones who have made similar
changes in their lives. Do an internet search
about the specific thing you're trying to change.
For example, if overeating is the behavior you
wish to decide to change, Find books about impulsive
eating or binge eating and gather as many helpful
strategies as you can about how to build self
-control around eating. Start a journal just
for eating. Yes, I'm not making a joke here.
Start a journal just for eating. For example,
write down or keep track of as many strategies
as you come across. This gives you more options
to try to discover what will work for you. And
don't be afraid to try them, okay? Fourth, take
an honest inventory of yourself. Keep a personal
journal so you individualize your experience
in enacting change, developing awareness about
your emotional triggers that cause impulsivity.
The impulsivity... I don't like the way that
word sounds. I'm sorry. let's just say lack of
self -control will help you recognize the behavior
okay nurturing your awareness around your impulsive
behaviors will help you feel more in control
of yourself you can also help uh it can also
help you make decisions about how you want to
build uh build your self -control it's all about
what feels right for you and building self -control
starts with awareness of why you sometimes feel
impulsive you know staying with the example of
binge eating examine how you feel when you're
impulsively eating do you notice that you tend
to binge eat when you're stressed for most people
anyway maybe you binge eat to celebrate too you
know like when your favorite basketball or football
team wins the game do you find yourself binge
eating when you feel anxious or sad like watching
a really sad movie if this is the case then You
need to. Set a realistic goal. Part of failing
with regard to developing self -control is getting
frustrated with yourself for not changing overnight
or being able to quit a behavior cold turkey.
Which actually sounds really good. At the time
of doing it anyway. Set yourself up for success
in your efforts by setting realistic goals and
tapering away from the behavior rather than stopping
it all at once. If you're building self -control
around compulsive eating, for instance, don't
try switching to nothing but fruits and vegetables
all at once because it's way too dramatic a change,
not to mention unsustainable, and your body will
not like you for it in the long run.