WEBVTT 00:00:05.299 --> 00:00:08.240 Sixth, I need you to mark your progress. Always 00:00:08.240 --> 00:00:11.339 remember, the key is progress, not perfection. 00:00:11.580 --> 00:00:13.839 Keep a calendar specifically dedicated to your 00:00:13.839 --> 00:00:16.460 efforts. When there are days that you feel you 00:00:16.460 --> 00:00:18.399 lack self -control, mark it on your calendar 00:00:18.399 --> 00:00:20.800 and journal about what preceded it that perhaps 00:00:20.800 --> 00:00:23.960 triggered that lack of impulsivity. The more 00:00:23.960 --> 00:00:26.120 you become aware of yourself and your patterns, 00:00:26.199 --> 00:00:28.140 the easier it will be to see the challenges come. 00:00:28.570 --> 00:00:31.530 challenging times coming. For example, maybe 00:00:31.530 --> 00:00:33.729 the holidays are a stressing time for you and 00:00:33.729 --> 00:00:35.810 you notice yourself eating much more than just 00:00:35.810 --> 00:00:38.770 the pressure of everything you have to do. Next 00:00:38.770 --> 00:00:41.250 year, you will know that the holidays are at 00:00:41.250 --> 00:00:44.270 a time that self -control becomes difficult for 00:00:44.270 --> 00:00:47.070 you and you can prepare yourself by beefing up 00:00:47.070 --> 00:00:50.630 the strategies you've learned about while educating 00:00:50.630 --> 00:00:55.600 yourself about binge eating. motivate yourself, 00:00:55.799 --> 00:00:58.640 maintain clear reasons for yourself, why you 00:00:58.640 --> 00:01:01.320 want to control the behavior and remind yourself 00:01:01.320 --> 00:01:05.239 of them continuously. Try to find your inner 00:01:05.239 --> 00:01:07.719 motivation and then journal about it. You can 00:01:07.719 --> 00:01:10.739 also keep a list of reasons on a small piece 00:01:10.739 --> 00:01:14.079 of paper in your wallet or program a reminder 00:01:14.079 --> 00:01:17.519 in your phone. For example, say you're trying 00:01:17.519 --> 00:01:19.760 to develop self -control about smoking sensation. 00:01:21.760 --> 00:01:23.819 You could write down the cost of buying cigarettes, 00:01:24.000 --> 00:01:27.480 the effects on your health, the smell, or caring 00:01:27.480 --> 00:01:31.340 for your teeth, etc. Also make a list of the 00:01:31.340 --> 00:01:33.980 positives of quitting smoking, including having 00:01:33.980 --> 00:01:37.079 more money to spend on other things, wider teeth, 00:01:37.439 --> 00:01:41.879 breathing easier, having a decent breath, at 00:01:41.879 --> 00:01:44.079 least something other people might want to smell. 00:01:44.159 --> 00:01:46.799 I'm not saying anyone will. Whatever reasons 00:01:46.799 --> 00:01:49.099 you can think of that will motivate you to quit. 00:01:49.959 --> 00:01:54.760 Okay? 8. Channel the energy into positive behaviors. 00:01:55.459 --> 00:01:58.799 Try to fold it in different behaviors to replace 00:01:58.799 --> 00:02:00.959 the behavior you are trying to build self -control 00:02:00.959 --> 00:02:04.040 around. You can look at this process as a journey 00:02:04.040 --> 00:02:06.599 to find out what works for you and try not to 00:02:06.599 --> 00:02:09.919 get discouraged if a coping strategy doesn't 00:02:09.919 --> 00:02:13.139 quite resonate with and instead move on to something 00:02:13.139 --> 00:02:16.930 else. Caring for yourself will reinforce that 00:02:16.930 --> 00:02:19.009 you are actively trying to change and practice 00:02:19.009 --> 00:02:22.009 better self -control. For example, if you binge 00:02:22.009 --> 00:02:23.969 eat when you are stressed, start exploring other 00:02:23.969 --> 00:02:25.909 ways to manage your stress other than eating. 00:02:26.490 --> 00:02:29.289 Explore different relaxation techniques and replacement 00:02:29.289 --> 00:02:34.689 strategies such as, well, I'm not a fan of these, 00:02:34.710 --> 00:02:38.650 but I'll give these as an option. Belly breathing. 00:02:39.289 --> 00:02:41.250 i don't know why that just sounds wrong to me 00:02:41.250 --> 00:02:45.210 yoga physical exercise meditation martial arts 00:02:45.210 --> 00:02:48.270 and tai chi that's the last time i'm taking examples 00:02:48.270 --> 00:02:52.870 from a friend of mine belly breathing okay um 00:02:52.870 --> 00:02:57.689 nine develop new hobbies getting lost in newfound 00:02:57.689 --> 00:03:00.189 hobbies such as cars puzzles motorcycles sports 00:03:00.189 --> 00:03:03.710 painting cooking sewing and even crocheting among 00:03:03.710 --> 00:03:06.789 other countless things can be a wonderful distraction 00:03:06.789 --> 00:03:10.229 as a practice yeah as you practice self -control 00:03:10.229 --> 00:03:13.610 part of changing behavior is replacing that behavior 00:03:13.610 --> 00:03:16.009 with something that is healthier and not vulnerable 00:03:16.009 --> 00:03:19.090 to impulsivity there are many resources on the 00:03:19.090 --> 00:03:25.050 web that can access um in your mobile phones 00:03:25.050 --> 00:03:27.810 or computers or what have you for yourself to 00:03:27.810 --> 00:03:29.770 help you get started such as pinterest social 00:03:29.770 --> 00:03:33.069 media groups etc where you can meet other people 00:03:33.069 --> 00:03:38.900 with similar interests to help you 10. Build 00:03:38.900 --> 00:03:41.580 yourself up. Proactively encourage yourself to 00:03:41.580 --> 00:03:43.340 make the changes in your life that you want. 00:03:43.479 --> 00:03:45.919 Having a positive attitude can truly influence 00:03:45.919 --> 00:03:48.659 your ability to practice self -control. Don't 00:03:48.659 --> 00:03:51.740 be too hard on yourself if you feel like you 00:03:51.740 --> 00:03:54.159 aren't reaching your goals. Keep your focus on 00:03:54.159 --> 00:03:56.639 continually making the effort and let go of perceived 00:03:56.639 --> 00:04:01.360 failure. And just try again. Always try, try 00:04:01.360 --> 00:04:05.870 again. Okay? You can use your journal to refrain 00:04:05.870 --> 00:04:09.050 negative statements if you feel you gave in to 00:04:09.050 --> 00:04:10.849 impulsivity instead of reaching your goals. For 00:04:10.849 --> 00:04:13.250 example, if your goal is not to spend money impulsively, 00:04:13.330 --> 00:04:15.770 but you went on the shopping spree anyway, take 00:04:15.770 --> 00:04:17.610 another look at your goals and remind yourself 00:04:17.610 --> 00:04:20.589 you had a really bad day. Take some time to journal 00:04:20.589 --> 00:04:23.889 what you could have done differently so next 00:04:23.889 --> 00:04:27.550 time you'll maybe go to a yoga class or something 00:04:27.550 --> 00:04:30.810 to help avoid that. and then congratulate yourself 00:04:30.810 --> 00:04:33.470 on your awareness and get ready to try one more 00:04:33.470 --> 00:04:53.269 time. On to the final three things. Use your 00:04:53.269 --> 00:04:56.629 support system, okay? Let your friends and loved 00:04:56.629 --> 00:04:58.329 ones know that you are trying to change your 00:04:58.329 --> 00:05:00.970 behaviors. Ask people in your life who are supportive 00:05:00.970 --> 00:05:03.310 if you can call and text them if you need support. 00:05:03.629 --> 00:05:05.810 Part of believing in yourself and creating change 00:05:05.810 --> 00:05:09.089 also means allowing others to help you. Although 00:05:09.089 --> 00:05:11.410 empowering yourself is a large part of building 00:05:11.410 --> 00:05:14.209 self -control, letting others in your life give 00:05:14.209 --> 00:05:17.230 you pep talks, motivate you, and even listen 00:05:17.230 --> 00:05:20.050 when you need it will help reinforce your decisions 00:05:20.050 --> 00:05:25.269 to create this much needed change. Next, reward 00:05:25.269 --> 00:05:28.189 yourself. Make sure you're giving yourself proper 00:05:28.189 --> 00:05:30.629 kudos for attempting to build self -control and 00:05:30.629 --> 00:05:33.189 change. Rewarding yourself for practicing self 00:05:33.189 --> 00:05:35.389 -control will help reinforce positive behaviors 00:05:35.389 --> 00:05:39.750 to replace impulsive behaviors. I know, it is 00:05:39.750 --> 00:05:43.610 a mouthful. For example, if you're quitting smoking 00:05:43.610 --> 00:05:45.850 cigarettes, you could save the money you would 00:05:45.850 --> 00:05:48.470 spend on cigarettes and treat yourself to a massage 00:05:48.470 --> 00:05:52.589 or spa day if you're a female. Not to say that 00:05:52.589 --> 00:05:56.959 guys don't enjoy them too. Or, if you are trying 00:05:56.959 --> 00:05:59.379 not to binge eat, from the previous example, 00:05:59.560 --> 00:06:02.279 reward yourself with a small gift, such as a 00:06:02.279 --> 00:06:07.740 new shirt. Yeah, I know, not a very good example. 00:06:09.839 --> 00:06:14.899 Lastly, learn when to seek help, okay? This is 00:06:14.899 --> 00:06:17.060 the big one for a lot of people. While building 00:06:17.060 --> 00:06:19.819 self -control is a wonderful and ambitious faucet 00:06:19.819 --> 00:06:22.339 of changing your life and feeling more in charge 00:06:22.339 --> 00:06:25.199 of yourself and your choices, there are circumstances 00:06:25.199 --> 00:06:27.959 when a person may need more help than just their 00:06:27.959 --> 00:06:33.240 own willpower. Here are just four quick suggestions 00:06:33.240 --> 00:06:36.620 for when to seek professional help and support. 00:06:37.550 --> 00:06:39.769 The first one is if you're struggling with alcohol 00:06:39.769 --> 00:06:43.089 or other substances at this point, willpower 00:06:43.089 --> 00:06:46.329 alone won't be enough to help you. Two, if you're 00:06:46.329 --> 00:06:48.910 engaged in dangerous or addictive sexual behavior. 00:06:50.250 --> 00:06:53.629 Yes, this is a problem for a lot of people, especially 00:06:53.629 --> 00:06:58.889 young people, if not some adults. There is actually 00:06:58.889 --> 00:07:02.769 a disease out there where people are just crave 00:07:02.769 --> 00:07:08.589 sex endlessly. Three. if you find yourself repeatedly 00:07:08.589 --> 00:07:12.089 engaged in abusive or dangerous relationships. 00:07:12.730 --> 00:07:16.029 As I've covered previously under the topic of 00:07:16.029 --> 00:07:18.930 date rape, which also covered rape, again, this 00:07:18.930 --> 00:07:22.790 is an area where simply your self -control alone 00:07:22.790 --> 00:07:26.170 is not going to be enough. And lastly, if you're 00:07:26.170 --> 00:07:29.389 trying to control your anger or are raging outbursts 00:07:29.389 --> 00:07:31.949 or have hurt yourself or someone else in the 00:07:31.949 --> 00:07:36.319 process, I really would recommend you rather 00:07:36.319 --> 00:07:38.920 go to someone else for help. Because at this 00:07:38.920 --> 00:07:40.860 point, just simply working on it by yourself 00:07:40.860 --> 00:07:44.860 is not going to be enough. Not to say you can't 00:07:44.860 --> 00:07:50.120 do it. It'll just be easier with someone else 00:07:50.120 --> 00:07:55.019 to help. And for those who want to know, what 00:07:55.019 --> 00:08:00.220 can you do to work on your temper? When you feel 00:08:00.220 --> 00:08:02.259 yourself getting angry, take deep breaths and 00:08:02.259 --> 00:08:04.399 remind yourself that the situation is always 00:08:04.399 --> 00:08:08.220 best approached in a calmer mind. Remove yourself 00:08:08.220 --> 00:08:10.339 from the situation temporarily if you're able 00:08:10.339 --> 00:08:13.019 to do so, and then remember every time you resist 00:08:13.019 --> 00:08:16.300 your anger, you are rewiring your brain to be 00:08:16.300 --> 00:08:20.720 calmer and react differently to situations. On 00:08:20.720 --> 00:08:24.920 that note, I will be covering hatred soon, which 00:08:24.920 --> 00:08:28.189 also covers the topic of anger. later on in this 00:08:28.189 --> 00:08:33.009 moral series. Anyway, this brings an end to self 00:08:33.009 --> 00:08:36.710 -control. Next time, I will be covering the topic 00:08:36.710 --> 00:08:41.629 of contentment. So, with that being said, thanks 00:08:41.629 --> 00:08:43.750 for listening. This is Food for Thought, Thoughts 00:08:43.750 --> 00:08:46.850 If It Were You, Moral Series by Neogentrics. 00:08:58.840 --> 00:09:02.039 Good morning, everybody. It is 12 o 'clock midnight 00:09:02.039 --> 00:09:04.940 here in Houston, and you know what we're here 00:09:04.940 --> 00:09:07.440 for. I told you we were going to do the Moral 00:09:07.440 --> 00:09:09.679 Series, and I covered Part 1 of Perseverance 00:09:09.679 --> 00:09:13.299 two days ago. It's been a while since I've been 00:09:13.299 --> 00:09:16.059 able to complete the next recording, and I'm 00:09:16.059 --> 00:09:18.700 sorry for the slight delay, but we will pick 00:09:18.700 --> 00:09:22.139 up where we left off. In the last piece, we covered 00:09:22.139 --> 00:09:24.279 what Perseverance is, and a couple of quotes 00:09:24.279 --> 00:09:27.200 on it as well to help a couple of people out. 00:09:27.720 --> 00:09:29.240 Today, I'm going to show you how to actually 00:09:29.240 --> 00:09:33.059 use it, and we're going to cover 10 things that 00:09:33.059 --> 00:09:37.399 can help you, along with some tips that follow. 00:09:38.100 --> 00:09:40.340 This will bring an end to the perseverance section, 00:09:40.500 --> 00:09:42.139 and we'll move on to the next morals, like I 00:09:42.139 --> 00:09:47.000 promised, in the next piece. First off, perseverance 00:09:47.000 --> 00:09:50.340 is the key to success, okay? After thousands 00:09:50.340 --> 00:09:53.289 of efforts to make the electric light bulb, Thomas 00:09:53.289 --> 00:09:56.309 Edison said, I haven't failed. I've only identified 00:09:56.309 --> 00:10:00.710 10 ,000 ways it doesn't work. Helen Keller, Abraham 00:10:00.710 --> 00:10:05.429 Lincoln, Mariah Carey, and an endless list of 00:10:05.429 --> 00:10:08.450 other great achievers have basically found that 00:10:08.450 --> 00:10:11.610 success inevitably arrives for everyone who perseveres, 00:10:11.610 --> 00:10:15.490 regardless of how many times they fail. You can't 00:10:15.490 --> 00:10:17.690 succeed or learn anything from anyone if you're 00:10:17.690 --> 00:10:21.409 always... 100 % in everything or you're always 00:10:21.409 --> 00:10:23.990 correct. Sometimes you have to fail. Sometimes 00:10:23.990 --> 00:10:28.929 you have to just lose. It is only then that you 00:10:28.929 --> 00:10:32.549 actually learn what you don't know. Acquiring 00:10:32.549 --> 00:10:34.809 a desired job or promotion or succeeding at a 00:10:34.809 --> 00:10:38.809 business may also present challenges, but this 00:10:38.809 --> 00:10:40.909 is part of the learning process. Ultimately, 00:10:41.110 --> 00:10:44.490 individuals who persist become successful and 00:10:44.490 --> 00:10:47.070 they learn from their mistakes. So this brings 00:10:47.070 --> 00:10:51.870 up this question. Do you persevere? Or, after 00:10:51.870 --> 00:10:54.049 meeting rejection or difficulty, do you quit? 00:10:55.190 --> 00:10:58.129 50 -75 % of the population nowadays, that's pretty 00:10:58.129 --> 00:11:00.350 much their response to anything. When a problem 00:11:00.350 --> 00:11:02.230 comes up, instead of trying to face it head on, 00:11:02.409 --> 00:11:07.110 they just give up. So, let's do this. Like I 00:11:07.110 --> 00:11:09.629 said, I was going to cover 10 things. Here are 00:11:09.629 --> 00:11:14.330 10 ways to test your perseverance. Ask yourself 00:11:14.330 --> 00:11:16.769 each one of these questions, or statements rather. 00:11:18.420 --> 00:11:21.139 See if you can answer yes to each one of these. 00:11:21.820 --> 00:11:25.080 I believe in myself. That's the first one Do 00:11:25.080 --> 00:11:29.320 you believe in yourself? Well? Only you would 00:11:29.320 --> 00:11:34.039 know the answer to that To I have a clear career 00:11:34.039 --> 00:11:37.580 goal Well, a lot of people will say they do when 00:11:37.580 --> 00:11:40.000 I ask them usually they don't have a response 00:11:40.000 --> 00:11:42.679 and it takes them more than five Seconds to come 00:11:42.679 --> 00:11:45.740 up with an answer Exceptions to those who actually 00:11:45.740 --> 00:11:47.759 know what they want but can't quite figure out 00:11:47.759 --> 00:11:52.159 how to say it. Third, address your limitations. 00:11:53.840 --> 00:11:55.720 You have to address what your limitations are 00:11:55.720 --> 00:11:58.879 so you know how far you can go and how far you 00:11:58.879 --> 00:12:05.279 need to pull back. Four, I bounce back from disappointments. 00:12:07.440 --> 00:12:10.759 Do you? Or do you sit there and whine and complain 00:12:10.759 --> 00:12:13.509 like a two -year -old? Actually, I don't think 00:12:13.509 --> 00:12:16.830 I can say that anymore. Two -year -olds and three 00:12:16.830 --> 00:12:19.090 -year -olds, even they're more persistent than 00:12:19.090 --> 00:12:23.230 adults nowadays. And it's a sad truth. I watch 00:12:23.230 --> 00:12:25.009 a five -year -old sit there playing with a block, 00:12:25.129 --> 00:12:27.450 trying to figure out how to make the square fit 00:12:27.450 --> 00:12:30.850 in the triangle. And he'll sit there for hours 00:12:30.850 --> 00:12:33.190 on end until he realizes it doesn't go in there 00:12:33.190 --> 00:12:37.409 and try something else. Whereas an adult probably 00:12:37.409 --> 00:12:40.889 doing the same thing with a bigger, larger scale 00:12:40.889 --> 00:12:43.480 project, He'll have to bump his head a couple 00:12:43.480 --> 00:12:45.399 hundred thousand times before he realizes, oh 00:12:45.399 --> 00:12:48.500 wait, this is not a triangle, this is a square, 00:12:48.700 --> 00:12:51.759 and they don't fit. And with that, it brings 00:12:51.759 --> 00:12:56.240 up the fifth point. I persist. Do you persist 00:12:56.240 --> 00:12:59.440 despite everything that's happening to you? If 00:12:59.440 --> 00:13:01.539 you can answer yes to this, then you're already 00:13:01.539 --> 00:13:03.240 on a good path moving forward.