Welcome back, everybody. This is Thoughts If
It Were You, Food for Thought by Neogentrics.
The last topic we covered was gratefulness and
thankfulness. Seeing how we covered that, I guess
I'm going to have to cover something a little
bit more in depth soon. But I'm going to cover
something related to the previous topic, as this
is the Morals series. We're going to cover something
related to the last couple of topics that we've
already discussed in this field and area, kindness.
By definition, it means a kind act or the quality
of being friendly, generous, and considerate.
Now, this one is definitely related to being
grateful, as it takes a kind heart to first be
grateful, okay? Being kind is an important way
of... of bringing meaning to your life okay it
also brings joy to lives of others around you
being kind allows us to communicate better be
more compassionate and also to be a positive
force in people's lives kindness has its true
source deep within you and while some people
are innately kind it's something that everybody
can cultivate by choice so this brings up this
question okay Since I'm not going to talk about
how a person can't be kind, let's talk about
how to be kind, okay? This one's going to be
a very short one to discuss as it's fairly simple
to understand. First things first, develop a
kinder perspective, okay? I know, it's very,
very simple, but we're going to cover this anyway.
First off, care for others genuinely. At its
most basic, kindness is about caring genuinely
for others around you, wanting the best for them
and recognizing in them the same wants, needs,
aspirations, and even fears that you have as
well. Kindness is warm, resilient, patient, trusting,
loyal, and grateful. You know, Imperial Ferrucci
sees kindness as being about... while making
less effort. Because it frees us from getting
knotted up in negative attitudes and feeling
such a resentment, jealousy, suspicion, and manipulation,
ultimately kindness is deeply caring for all
beings. Practice kindness and generosity towards
others. Being out of practice, being shy, or
not knowing how to reach out to others can only
be overcome in the doing. by continually trying
until it becomes a natural impulse to be kind
and giving to others. Ask for nothing in return.
The greatest kindness expecting nothing comes
with no strings attached and places no conditions
on anything done or said. It's one of the ultimate
goals of a person who's aiming to be, well, righteous
or right in God's eyes. Next, don't be kind for
the sake of getting what you want. Beware of
deluded kindness. Kindness is not about self
-interest, politeness, calculated generosities,
or superficial etiquette. Simply being nice to
other people because you believe that this will
manipulate them into giving you what you want
in life or as a means of controlling them is
not kindness. Nor is kindness about pretending
to care for someone. all while repressing anger
or contempt, hiding our rage or frustration behind
false pleasantries. This is not kindness. Finally,
being a people pleaser is definitely not kindness.
That's simply behavior designed to give in and
not rock the boat because you're afraid that
taking a step forward will sink the ship. On
that note, be kind to yourself. Many people take
You know, actually, yeah. Many people make the
error of trying to be kind to others while at
the same time not focusing on being kind to themselves.
Some of this can stem from not liking aspects
of yourself, but more often than not, it's sourced
in the inability to know yourself better. And
unfortunately, when you don't feel rock solid
within yourself, your kindness to others risks
falling into the diluted types of kindness described
previously. or it can lead to burnt -out disillusionment
because you've put everyone else first. Self
-knowledge allows you to see what causes you
pain and conflict and enables you to embrace
your contradictions and inconsistencies. It allows
the space to work on things about yourself that
you're not happy with. In turn, Self -knowledge
helps to prevent you from projecting your negative
aspects onto other people, thereby empowering
you to treat other people with loving kindness.
Take time to become more self -aware and use
this learning to be kinder to both yourself and
others as well, remembering that we all have
weaknesses. In this way, your inner anger is
being dealt with, and rather than fueling your
need to project the hurt and pain, avoid viewing
time taken to become more aware. of your own
needs and limits as an act of selfishness. Far
from it, it is a vital precondition to being
able to reach out to other people with great
strength and awareness. Ask yourself what you
think it means to be kinder to yourself. For
many people, being kinder to themselves includes
monitoring the chatter in your thoughts and stopping
your negative thinking. This works with a lot
of people, believe me. even myself next learn
kindness from other people think about the truly
kind people in your life and how they make you
feel you know do you carry their warm glow around
in your hearts every time you think of them is
it likely that you do because kindness lingers
you know warming You, even when the hardest challenges
face you. When other people find a way to love
you for who you are, it's impossible to forget
such trust and confirmation of worthiness. And
their kindness lives on forever, even within
you. Remember how other people's kindness makes
your day. What is it about their kindness that
makes you feel special or cherished? Are there
things that they do that you can replicate from
your own heart? Consider this. Next thing I want
you to work on in developing your kinder perspective
is cultivate kindness for the good of your own
health. Improved psychological health and happiness
comes from thinking more positively, and kindness
is a positive mental state. While kindness is
about giving and being open to others, giving
kindness returns a sense of well -being and connection
to us that improves our own mental state and
health. To be kind, you know, is in itself a
powerful, consistent reward. You know, it's basically
a self -esteem booster, if you will. Then next,
you need to focus on making a habit of focusing
on that kindness. Leo Balbara says that kindness
is a habit, and it's one that everyone can cultivate.
He suggests focusing on kindness every day for
a month. At the end of this directed focus, you'll
be aware of profound changes in your life. You'll
feel better about yourself as a person. You'll
find that people react to you differently, including
treating you better. As he says, in the long
run, being kind is a karma in practice. In other
words, he suggests to help cultivate your kindness
through these following steps. Do one kind thing
for someone else every day. Make a conscious
decision at the beginning of the day what kind
of act will be and make time to do it during
that day. Next, be kind, friendly, and compassionate
when you interact with someone. And even more
so when that person normally makes you angry,
stressed, or bothered. Use kindness as your strength.
Build up your small acts of kindness into larger
acts of compassion, volunteering for those in
need and taking the initiative to relieve suffering
are bigger acts of compassion. All while you
at least meditate to help spread kindness. These
are ways to help improve that focus and help
make you feel better in the long run. Then on
that note, I leave you with this. and we'll move
on to our next piece be kind to everyone not
just people in need okay expand your circle of
kindness it can be as easy to be kind when we're
unconsciously doing you know what stefan dorwick
terms patronizing kindness this refers to kindness
giving to those who we feel are truly in need
the sick the poor the vulnerable the homeless
and those who align with our own ideals But being
kind to people close to us emotionally, like
family or friends, or in other ways from the
same country or of the same color, gender, sex,
etc., is also easier than being kind to those,
as the philosopher Hegel called them, the other.
It can be more difficult to be kind to people
we may consider our equals, but it's well worth
it. The trouble with restricting our kindness
to convenient cases is that we fail to recognize
that we need to be kind to everyone no matter
who they are, their level of wealth or fortune
or values and beliefs, their behaviors and attitudes,
their place of origin, the likeness to ourselves,
etc. By choosing to be kind to only those that
we feel are deserving of kindness, we are unleashing
our own biased judgments. and mental capacities
on those and only practicing what they call conditional
kindness. Natural kindness encompasses all beings,
while the challenge you'll face while trying
to put this broader notion of kindness into practice
will sometimes be trying. You'll never stop learning
about the depths of your ability to truly be
kind. If you're neglecting being kind to someone
else just because you think they can cope without
your support and understanding, then you're practicing
selective kindness. And that in itself is not
true kindness.