Hey everybody, welcome back. Picking up where
we left off from the last episode. Minimalize
your judgment, okay? Minimize what you do as
far as what you think a person could be doing,
okay? If you really want to be kind, then you
have to kick your judgment to the curb. Instead
of spending your time being critical of other
people, work on being positive and compassionate.
If you tend to think poorly of others, wish other
people could step up their game. or feel like
other people around you are needy or clueless,
then you'll never learn true kindness. Stop judging
people and realize that you'll never fully understand
where they're coming from unless you walk a mile
in their shoes or they literally sit down and
talk to you and tell you what's going on. Focus
on wanting to help others instead of judging
them for not being better than who they are.
If you're judgmental, prone to gossip, or just
always bad -mouthing the people around you, you'll
never be able to move past your reservations
to be kind. Being kind means giving people the
benefit of the doubt instead of expecting perfection.
Along with that, it brings up the next topic
of developing kind qualities. I may be critical
of the people around me. And this is just a trait
of my personality or probably it's signature
to the way I was raised. But despite how critical
I am of other people, this doesn't impede my
judgment. If I see they're in need, if I see
that they're having a hard time, regardless of
what I think, I help them. Not helping them just
out of sheer ignorance or bliss or because I
want something. I help them because I know they
need it. And that even if they're not where they're
supposed to be. I can possibly be that catalyst
that helps them get them further along in life
or past that struggle that they're dealing with.
Which brings us to our first quality, first step
in developing kind qualities. Be compassionate
towards others. It's important to take in the
message, be kind for everyone you meet is fighting
a hard battle. It's attributed to Plato. This
saying is a recognition that everyone is undergoing
some challenge or other in their life, and that
sometimes it's all too easy for us to lose sight
of that when embroiled in our own problems or
anger against them. Before committing an action
that might impact another person negatively,
ask yourself a very simple question, which is
kind of the theme of this entire station. Is
this kind? If you can't answer this question
in an affirmative manner, This is a reminder
to change your actions and approach it immediately.
Even when you're feeling at your worst, remember
that other people are also feeling uncertainly.
Pain, hardship, sadness, disappointment, and
loss, they all run hand in hand. And in no way
does this belittle your own feelings, but it
does allow you to realize that people often react
from their hurt and pain rather than from their
whole self. And kindness is the key to seeing
past the raging emotions and connecting with
the real person inside. Which brings me to my
next piece. Don't expect perfection from anybody.
If you have a tendency towards perfectionism,
competitiveness, or a driven sense of urgency.
Self -kindness can often be a victim of your
ambition and fast pace, as well as your fear
of being seen to be lazy or selfish. Remember
to slow down and to forgive yourself when things
don't work out as wished. Learn from your mistakes
rather than beating yourself up over them or
comparing yourself to others. It is through self
-compassionate responses that you can start to
see other people's needs in a compassionate light.
Be present. The greatest gift of kindness to
another person is to be in the moment in their
presence. To be listening with care and to be
genuinely attentive to them. Schedule your day
differently and stop being known as the person
who always rushes off. means being available
you can only do this if you're not rushing or
squeezing in people or activities like a job
assignment list ease off the technical means
of communicating with people you know impersonal
and hurried technological communication like
texting and email as they are so cold you know
they have their place in life but Not as your
only means of communicating. Take time to connect
with people face -to -face or via an uninterrupted
phone call or something. Hear their voice. Send
a letter instead of an email and surprise someone
with the kindness of your having taken time out
of your day to even put pen to paper, which seems
to be a foreign concept to people nowadays. And
then on that note, be a good listener. The act
of listening is easier said than done in our
fast -paced world where rushing and being busy
are seen as virtuous, but where cutting someone
off because you're too busy or you need to get
somewhere in a hurry is the norm. Busy into a
habit is no excuse for unkindness. However, when
talking to someone, learn to listen with your
whole being and sincerely pay attention to them
until they're done, revealing their thoughts
and story or how they feel. Truly listening to
someone, making eye contact, avoiding all distractions,
and giving a person the time of day is one of
the greatest acts of kindness. Take the time
to truly absorb what the person is saying before
responding with a pre -made answer or interruption.
Show the person that you appreciate the unique
situation he's or she's in that you're there
to lend an ear for. Be a good listener. It doesn't
mean being a great problem solver. You don't
have to solve their problem, though that may
help them. Sometimes the best thing you can do
is just be there to listen while acknowledging
that you don't know what the person should actually
do. You know, this is something better than...
Trying to fix everything or not even paying attention
like being on your phone while talking to somebody.
You're not a goddamn answering machine. If the
person talking to you wanted an answering machine,
they would have went to the store and bought
one. Or called one of those automated services.
If they take the time to listen to you, you should
take the time to listen to them when they're
talking to you. It's only fair. And we'll cover
fairness at a later date. Which brings me to
my next point. Be optimistic. Happiness, joy,
and gratitude rest at the heart of being kind,
allowing you to see the good in others and the
world, enabling you to press through the challenges
of despair and cruelty you witness and experience,
continuously restoring your sense of faith in
humanity, maintaining an optimistic attitude,
ensures that acts of kindness are committed with
genuine joy and cheerfulness rather than reluctance
or out of a sense of duty or service, and keeping
your sense of humor and ensures that you don't
take yourself too seriously and take life's contradictory
and contrary moments with good faith. It's not
always easy to be optimistic, especially when
you have had a very crummy day. But with enough
practice, anyone can cultivate optimism by focusing
on the positive instead of the negative, thinking
ahead to happy things in the future, and living
a life that is filled with more joy than sadness.
And it doesn't cost a dollar to look on the bright
side of things either, so you can keep your money
in your pocket. Being optimistic and staying
positive will not only put you in more of a mindset
to be kind, but it will also bring joy to those
around you. If you spend much of your time complaining,
then, well, it will be more difficult to bring
happiness to the people in your orbit because
you're having a hard time bringing happiness
to yourself. With that being said, be friendly.
People who are kind tend to also be friendly.
This doesn't mean that they are the most outgoing
people in the room, but that they make an effort
to get to know new people and to make them feel
at home. If there's someone new at your school
or workplace, you can try to talk to that person.
Explain how things work. Even invite them to...
or her to one of your social events or something.
Even if you're not outgoing, just smiling and
making small talk with people can go a little
or a long way in making you even friendlier.
And this kindness will not go unnoticed, I assure
you. friendly people are kind because they expect
the best from people they talk to new people
and friends alike in an easygoing reassuring
way that makes them feel at home if you're naturally
shy you don't have to change your personality
completely just make a bit uh more of an effort
to be nice to people by giving them your attention
asking them how they are and showing an interest
in them this is one of the many ways you can
use to make friends if that's something you're
having an issue with. And with that being said,
be polite. Although being polite is not an indication
of kindness in itself, genuine politeness demonstrates
your respect for those you're interacting with.
Being polite is the way is the way that Uganda
knuckles stuff of getting people's attention
and putting your point across. Some simple ways
of doing this include Find ways to rephrase your
requests or responses to others. For example,
say may I instead of can I. Say I'm surprised
instead of that's not fair. You know, say let
me explain that another way instead of saying
that's not what I said. You know, rephrase your
language. Speaks volumes. Have excellent manners.
Hold open the door for people. Avoid being overly
vulgar in person. And, you know, don't be overly
familiar with new people. I can honestly assure
you this will scare them.